A Laugh A Day

[JustInn14]

Sor. Ry.

It's getting trickier to find motivational posters!


And screamer reaction videos are frowned upon here...

[NoSanninWa]

That's fine. I've had enough of motivational posters also. Only 15% of those are really funny anyway. Remember:

AnimeSuki is not an image board!

It was fun for a little while, but it has been non-stop pictures for a while now.

[JustInn14]

Good. Let me look for a funny video. Those must still be good...

Here's something funny. DON:T TURN UP VOLUME! IT"S NOT-- a screamer, but, it could still frighten those who don't laugh at crashes!


Alos, no one was in the truck, so, just laugh at it, please! Thanks.

[Terrestrial Dream]

Well kinda random but quite funny imo. Oh yeah and the title of the video is Gutsman's ass(I wonder if it's alright put that word in the forum?)

[Amray]

I wonder if that hurt..

[Aoie_Emesai]

Originally Posted by kayos

That's just horrible...

Well anyway here's a blonde joke.

A blonde called her boyfriend and said, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure it out or how to get it started." Her boyfriend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde said, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, looked at the box, then turned to her and said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He took her hand and said, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then............," he sighed, ..... "Let's put all of these frosted flakes back into the box."

That was actually funny ^^

[Spectacular_Insanity]

Originally Posted by kayos

Well anyway here's a blonde joke.

A blonde called her boyfriend and said, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure it out or how to get it started." Her boyfriend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde said, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, looked at the box, then turned to her and said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He took her hand and said, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then............," he sighed, ..... "Let's put all of these frosted flakes back into the box."

Lol, that was indeed funny. Thanks for the good laugh.

Easiest way to kill a blonde? Put a scratch-and-sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool.

[SeedFreedom]

Time for... SeedFreedom's really bad jokes (Although i'm sure most of you have probably heard these already).

1. How do you shoot a blue elephant

Spoiler:

With a blue elephant gun

2. How do you shoot a green elephant

Spoiler:

Silly, there are no green elephants

3.How do you shoot a red elephant

Spoiler:

Hold the trunk until he turns blue then shoot it with the blue elephant gun

4. How do you get a hippo into the fridge

Spoiler:

Open the fridge. Put in the hippo. Close the fridge

5. How do you get a zebra into the fridge

Spoiler:

Open the fridge. Take out the hippo. Put in the zebra. Close the fridge

6. The lion king is having a party, who didn't come

Spoiler:

the Zebra, he's in the fridge

7. How do you get across a piranha filled lake

Spoiler:

Walk across. They're all at the party

*runs from pots and pans and tomatoes*

[Spectacular_Insanity]

Originally Posted by SeedFreedom

*runs from pots and pans and tomatoes*

Sorry, but I'll have to throw a green elephant at you.... wait.

[Dxon]

Originally Posted by Terrestrial Dream

Well kinda random but quite funny imo. Oh yeah and the title of the video is Gutsman's ass(I wonder if it's alright put that word in the forum?)

Dadammmm!! Its gutmans ass! Funny.

Its excorcist cat!

Hope he wont start puking!

[technomo12]

UM question what anime is that on the

for You don't love her joke???

[Dxon]

Originally Posted by NoSanninWa

I've noticed a trend towards pictures lately. Now I have nothing against the occasional funny picture, but I've been seeing posts of a dozen pictures. I've also been seeing a lot of lolcats and this is not a lolcats thread. Now that my observations are done, here is my important announcement:

AnimeSuki is not an image board!

If you want to post a picture, only post a few and only if they are not just random silly pictures. Lolcats are just random silliness. I'll start deleting lolcats since while those might be amusing to look at, most of them are jokes. Picture heavy posts will be completely deleted and that would be a shame since there they usually contain one or two pictures that are actually quite funny. Only post those one or two really funny pics.

The end of a laugh a day...

[Spectacular_Insanity]

Originally Posted by Dxon

The end of a laugh a day...

Yeah, it's too bad. We're so close to 100 pages, too....

[teachopvutru]

Originally Posted by Dxon

The end of a laugh a day...

I doubt it. Most of the activities in this thread as of late is about posting image so the pace this thread goes would most certainly be reduced, but it wouldn't be the end yet. At the very least, those posts would be filtered to a small amount of pictures... The problem, I guess, is that some people laugh at certain pics, and some laugh at others... @_@

But personally, I like those word jokes as much as the pictures.

[Dhomochevsky]

But... random silliness is awesome.

Fun on animesuki is serious business I guess.

/no picture of serious cat here/

[teachopvutru]

Spoiler for Dumb Court Questions:

The below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records and actually happened…
Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, “I have to kill you because you can identify me.”
Q: Did he kill you?

Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Were you alone or by yourself?

Q: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?
A: That’s me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Now then, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I’ll be three months on March 12th.
Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was around January 12th?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time?

Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

So, you were gone until you returned?

You don’t know what it was, and you didn’t know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.

A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, “Your Honor, I’d like to strike the next question.”

Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined that body of Mr. Huntington at St. Mary’s Hospital?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 5:30 P.M.
Q: And Mr. Huntington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, you idiot, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was performing an autopsy on him!

Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?

Spoiler for Why I Fired My Secretary:

This is a true story. Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn’t feel like waking up that morning. I managed to pull myself together and go downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.” I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids… They will remember.

My kids came trampling down the stairs to breakfast, ate their breakfast, and didn’t say a word to me. So when I made it out of the house and started for work, I felt pretty dumpy and despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Joanne said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!” It felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. I worked in a zombie like fashion until about one o’clock, when Joanne knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your Birthday, why don’t we go out for lunch, just you and me.” I said, “Thanks, Joanne, that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!”

We went to lunch but not where we’d normally go. Instead she took me to a quiet bistro with a private table. We had a couple of mixed drinks and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Joanne said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day… We don’t have to go right back to the office, do we?” I replied with “I suppose not. What do you have in mind?” She said, “Let’s go to my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”

After arriving at her apartment, Joanne turned to me and said, “Boss if you don’t mind, I’m goinna to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.” “Ok.” I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake…

Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends, and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.

And I just sat there…

On the couch…

Naked.

[Avantoe]

Originally Posted by tiachopvutru

Spoiler for Dumb Court Questions:

The below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records and actually happened…
Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, “I have to kill you because you can identify me.”
Q: Did he kill you?

Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Were you alone or by yourself?

Q: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?
A: That’s me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Now then, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I’ll be three months on March 12th.
Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was around January 12th?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time?

Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

So, you were gone until you returned?

You don’t know what it was, and you didn’t know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.

A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, “Your Honor, I’d like to strike the next question.”

Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined that body of Mr. Huntington at St. Mary’s Hospital?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 5:30 P.M.
Q: And Mr. Huntington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, you idiot, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was performing an autopsy on him!

Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?

Spoiler for Why I Fired My Secretary:

This is a true story. Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn’t feel like waking up that morning. I managed to pull myself together and go downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.” I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids… They will remember.

My kids came trampling down the stairs to breakfast, ate their breakfast, and didn’t say a word to me. So when I made it out of the house and started for work, I felt pretty dumpy and despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Joanne said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!” It felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. I worked in a zombie like fashion until about one o’clock, when Joanne knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your Birthday, why don’t we go out for lunch, just you and me.” I said, “Thanks, Joanne, that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!”

We went to lunch but not where we’d normally go. Instead she took me to a quiet bistro with a private table. We had a couple of mixed drinks and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Joanne said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day… We don’t have to go right back to the office, do we?” I replied with “I suppose not. What do you have in mind?” She said, “Let’s go to my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”

After arriving at her apartment, Joanne turned to me and said, “Boss if you don’t mind, I’m goinna to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.” “Ok.” I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake…

Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends, and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.

And I just sat there…

On the couch…

Naked.

This is serious buisness! i lol'd irl. Thank you for posting this
*cookies for you*

[JustInn14]

It's not the end of "A Laugh A Day". Just find more funny videos. .


I'll look for one later! LOL!

[Goshin]

Originally Posted by JustInn14

It's not the end of "A Laugh A Day". Just find more funny videos. .


I'll look for one later! LOL!

Then they will say that this is not youtube or veoh....

[Amray]

This guy goes to a super market and goes to isle 12 and asks for a box of condoms.
The lady askes "what size" and the guy says "I don't know" so the lady askes him to pull down his pants.
The lady tugs a few times and says "you need a box of x-large condoms".

So this guy hears behind him and he asks for a box of condom's, and the lady says "what size" and the guy says I don't know.
So the lady asks him to pull down his pants.
The lady tugs a few time and says "get a box of medium condoms"

So this teenager in isle 11 hears and wants some of the action.
So he goes to isle 12 and asks "can I have a box of condoms"
The lady asks "what size" and the teenage says "I don't know"
So the lady asks him to pull down his pants .
When he does, the lady tugs a few times, stands up and announces "Clean up in isle 12"