2012-02-09, 16:29
|
Link #81 |
|
Enjoying Snack Time!
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Where It's Legal to Marry Clara and Alice
Age: 35
  |
I'm playing the game and I'm really enjoying it. Does anyone have the patch for chapter 6-7 because I finished part 5 and the game ends. Or do we have to wait for another update?
Just asking, cause I want to see the kiss scene between Mami and Madoka illustrated so badly "rolls on floor hoping".
__________________
Last edited by Kirito; 2012-02-12 at 01:46. |
|
|
|
2012-02-09, 22:45
|
Link #82 | |
|
The Opened Ultimate Gate
Join Date: Dec 2011
Age: 29
|
Quote:
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
2012-02-11, 12:01
|
Link #83 |
|
Senior Member
 Author
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Age: 42
 |
Mami Lives Chapter 3
Mami Romance Chain “Mami-san, that blue bikini looks gorgeous!” That's what I said to her as I now had my arms wrapped around her waist, and we looked into the mirror of the change room. My fingers were also now neatly twined around her waist. “Your pink polka-dot bikini also looks very pretty.” Mami-san said to me, “It suits you perfectly.” “I guess that our next date should be one to the beach, huh?” I asked excitedly, but also while blushing a bit. “That's exactly what I was thinking too, Madoka” Mami replied to me, “I'm glad that we're growing more and more to be of the same heart and mind.” Those words really stirred me, while also making me feel very warm. “But since we've now picked out all the clothes we wanted, let's change back into our uniforms and make our purchases.” Mami said. “Right!” I agreed enthusiastically. I have to admit that I felt a bit bashful as I changed along with Mami in this shopping centre change room, but as long as I averted my eyes from her while I changed it didn't bother me too much. The lapnap that I had enjoyed thanks to Mami was even more pleasant and relaxing than I had imagined it could be. Mami joked about how I fell asleep only a minute after I rested on her lap. Mami said she found that incredibly cute, although I found it a bit embarrassing. But thankfully, I only fell asleep for a few minutes, so not too much time was taken off our date. After I woke up, Mami made a suggestion on what we should do for the rest of our date. First was going shopping together to help each other pick out some new clothes! It had been a long time since I last went shopping, so I thankfully had saved up a significant amount of money to make some additions to my wardrobe. I admit that I was curious where Mami was getting her money from, though. I mean, she doesn't appear to be working any paying jobs, and she's living on her own. How is she making ends meet? “That's a good question.” Mami said, as we walked away from the shopping centre, several shopping bags in tow, heading towards Mami's place. I didn't want to ask Mami a rude question, but I admit that curiosity had gotten the better of me. “My parents were thankfully very prudent people who always planned in case of even the worst eventuality.” Mami answered, “So they had taken out a very generous Life Insurance policy in the event of accidental death. I was their sole beneficiary. However, it did become a bit of a legal issue. The Civil Court's Prefecture Attorney argued that a girl of my age shouldn't be trusted with such a large sum of money, especially since I had no adult family members that could take me in. But while I have few remaining family members, my father did have a close friend that did fantastic work representing my case. That friend is Kazuki Kudo.” “Phoenix Wright!” I exclaimed in shock. “That's correct.” Mami replied with a grin. As a young teenager, Kazuki Kudo was such a big fan of the actual Phoenix Wright video game character that he wanted to become Phoenix Wright made real! He started to dress like the character, take on the character's mannerisms, and do his hair like the character. He also dedicated his life to being the best Lawyer he could be! Capcom and Nintendo had considered suing him for this, but Kudo-Sama had by then become a very popular figure. So instead, Capcom and Nintendo agreed to allow him to continue “being” Phoenix Wright in return for him doing commercials for them. I never imagined that Mami knew such a celebrity! “Kudo-Sama was hit hard by my father's passing, and wanted to do whatever he could to ensure that I did well in the wake of it.” Mami continued, “Unfortunately, he lives far away from any schools, and his lifestyle is very hectic. These were factors in why he couldn't take me in. But he did argue passionately that I should receive the full Life Insurance benefits under my parents' plan. The court eventually ruled that I could receive them in full, and live on my own, as long as Kudo-Sama himself checked up on me at least once every two weeks. He thankfully agreed to it.” “It's really cool that you know somebody so awesome and famous, Mami!” I exclaimed to her. “It's nothing that special, really.” Mami replied with a blushing grin, “I respect Kudo-Sama a lot, but when away from the rigours of court work, he's fairly normal. In any event, the money my parents saved away for me has served me well since their passing. It will likely run out in the not-too-distant future. Eventually I'll need to find part-time work to support myself...” I felt deep concern for Mami here. The idea of balancing school with work with being a magical girl seemed so daunting to me! I felt a deep desire to alleviate Mami's concerns here. “When that time comes, you and I should work as waitresses at a restaurant together!” I enthusiastically suggested to her with a big smile. “...Yes, I think I would like that.” Mami said turning her head towards me to smile serenely at my suggestion. After we arrived at Mami's home, Mami and I did some cooking together! Mami had asked me if I'd rather the two of us eat out at a nice restaurant or if I'd rather her and I cook a meal together. I really liked the idea of making something with Mami, so that's what I decided on. We cooked some Nabeyaki-udon together. I was a little too careless while mixing the ingredients together in a metal pot, and so a couple tiny food particles went into my face. Mami-san giggled over that, and picked them off my face for me. It was a bit embarrassing, but I have to admit it felt kinda nice for Mami to be so attentive to me like this. Thankfully, the Nabeyaki-udon ended up being scrumptious! After the meal, Mami and I went out to watch a movie together. The movie was called Mashiro-iro Orchestra. I think that Sayaka would have liked it, as the male lead was a lot like Kamijo! It was a very romantic movie, and I have to admit that it put me in a certain mood given how pleasantly wonderful my date with Mami-san was going. As I walked her back to her house, I think she felt that way as well... Affection Calculation Time! To determine what happens next, calculate your affection level with Mami Tome. In order to make that calculation, refer to the following data to determine the net effect of your choices. Spoiler for Mami Tomoe Affection Data:
If your overall affection level with Mami Tome is +4 or higher, then read section Mami's Offer. Otherwise, read section Mami Wishes me Goodnight. Spoiler for Mami's Offer:
Spoiler for Mami Wishes me Goodnight:
When I arrived for homeroom, there was some whispering and long faces amongst my classmates. I noticed that Hitomi wasn't in class today. Homura didn't seem to be in class either. A couple of the girls in my class looked at Sayaka and me with some sympathy in their eyes. I finally came to my seat. Saotome-Sensei was unusually late for class. When she walked into class, she had a very sombre look on her face. She finally addressed the class after clearing her throat. “As some of you may be aware, a horrible atrocity happened last night at an old abandoned warehouse.” She began, “It claimed the lives of over a dozen people. The police called our Principal just before school this morning, to tell him that they had just confirmed that one of the victims is a classmates of yours.” My eyes went wide in horror, and my mouth went agape in shock, over hearing this. “6 AM this morning...” Saotome-Sensei said while struggling to continue, with her eyes watering a bit, “Hitomi Shizuki was confirmed dead, one of the victims of a large explosion of yet to be determined cause.” Tears instantly welled up in my eyes. What I was hearing... what I was hearing saddened me deeply! Intellectually, I had yet to accept it, but emotionally, the impact was leaving me very scarred... “Given what has occurred, the Principal has called off classes for today for our class, but school will continue on for other classes.” Saotome-Sensei said, “I would encourage each of you to take some time today to honour and mourn the sad passing of Hitomi Shizuki. She was a Honours Student, and she will be sorely missed. That is all. ...Class dismissed.” With tears in my eyes, I looked over to where Sayaka was sitting. While her eyes had also watered a bit, what struck me the most was how ashen-faced she appeared, and how she seemed to be trembling a bit in rage! Saotome-Sensei, as well as most of our classmates, expressed their condolences to Sayaka and I before they left to go home. A few minutes later, the only people left in our classroom were Sayaka and I. “This is all my fault!” she shouted, as she banged her fist down, like a hammer, on the side of the wall of our classroom, “If only I hadn't been a selfish coward! If only I hadn't been so cold to Hitomi lately. If only I had become a...” But before Sayaka could finish her sentence, I heard Mami rush into the room. “Madoka!” she shouted out to me, with a grief-stricken look in her face, “I just heard. I'm so sorry!” Mami rushed over to me, and wrapped her arms around me to try to comfort me over Hitomi's death. I allowed myself to take comfort in Mami's gesture, as I cried upon her shoulder. Sayaka calmed down a bit after Mami's appearance. After a minute or so, Mami released me from her comforting embrace, and turned her attention to Sayaka. Mami placed one hand on Sayaka's shoulders. “You also have my deepest condolences, Sayaka.” Mami said to her, “I'm very sorry for what has happened.” “I appreciate your condolences, Mami-san” Sayaka responded, “But there's nothing for you to be sorry for. This is my fault. This is my mistake! If I had made the right decision earlier this would not have happened!” “Sayaka-chan...” I uttered breathlessly, “What do you mean by that?” “I mean...” Sayaka began in answer, “I mean that I'm going to become a magical girl!” __________________________________________________ ______________ Mami Friendship Chain It was the morning after Mami's victory over the TV-witch. Mami had told Sayaka and I that while she really enjoyed watching a movie with the two of us, she felt it might be good for Sayaka and I to get a bit of a breather from the magical girl world, which would include us spending a day without Mami around. Mami's idea was that after that day apart, which happened to be Friday, we'd meet up on Saturday noon-time to have a final discussion on whether or not Sayaka, I, or both of us would become magical girls. Mami wanted us to really think it over a lot during this one day break from her. As I walked towards class this bright early morning alongside Sayaka, I noticed that Homura was back! She was walking down the hallway in the opposite direction of where Sayaka and I were heading. I was trying to remember what it is I was wanting to say to Homura... I think I wanted to thank her about something, but I couldn't remember what it was... Should I thank her in general and risk looking silly, or should I not bother with it? Choice 11 A) “Thank you, Homura!” B) Just politely say “Good morning” to Homura and move on. Spoiler for Response A:
Spoiler for Response B:
Sayaka and I then entered our class. We were relieved to see Hitomi there, looking no worse for wear! Hitomi expressed some embarrassment to us over what had occurred to her yesterday evening and night, although it was clear to Sayaka and I that Hitomi was thankfully not aware of exactly what had happened. Sayaka's eyes seemed to light up a bit when Hitomi said “They want me to come in after school today for more tests. It's such a pain...” “I guess it'll just be you and me after school today, Madoka.” Sayaka said, while smirking towards me. “You sound glad about that.” Hitomi responded, with a slight tone of hurt in her voice. “Oh n-not at all!” Sayaka responded nervously, while trying to break the tension with a bit of laughter, “I was just trying to sound happy to improve the mood here, that's all. At least you seem to be Ok now, Hitomi. That's a relief!” “Thank you.” Hitomi said, with a slight smile. In fairness to Sayaka, I also liked the idea of getting to spend a lot of time talking to her alone. Her and I were both facing some tough decisions, and those decisions are ones that we can't tell Hitomi about. It'll probably be good for Sayaka and I to discuss them just amongst ourselves. So after school, Sayaka and I headed to the outskirts of Mitakihara Town's main park. We rested upon the grassy slopes next to a large shimmering lake. Sayaka stretched her entire body out over the grassy slopes, while I sat beside her. “It's been a pretty crazy week, hasn't it, Madoka?” Sayaka asked me. “Yeah.” I answered, “It's hard to believe how much has changed in the last few days. How much we've found out. There's a whole world out there that most people will never know about.” “And now we need to determine how involved we really want to get in that world.” Sayaka stated, “Have you come to a decision on that yet?” I thought carefully on that question before answering it. “I know that I want to keep supporting Mami-san.” I answered, “But I don't think I want to be a magical girl anymore. Well, unless Mami-san was ever in danger and needed immediate help from another magical girl of course.” “Yeah, I think that's how I feel too.” Sayaka responded. Sayaka then rolled over on her side to face me while she relaxed her head on one outstretched arm. She then smiled a bit dreamily at me. It was a strange look for Sayaka! I don't know if she's ever looked at me that way before! “Speaking of Mami-san....” Sayaka began saying to me, “I was thinking of letting my hair grow out some, and trying to perm it to look like her's. What do yo think, Madoka?” MFS Choice 1: A) “I think your hair looks very nice the way it is, Sayaka.” B) “That's a great idea! Then you and Mami would look like some sort of dynamic duo protecting all of Mitakihara Town!” Spoiler for Response MFSA:
Spoiler for Response MFSB:
“Becoming a magical girl is one change I'm not sure about.” continued Sayaka, “There is a wish I'd really like to make... but I don't know if fulfilling that wish is enough reason in and of itself to take the risks that both Mami-san and Akemi-san have warned us about. Especially since I'm now confident that between the two of them, they have our city well-protected. I doubt our city truly needs another magical girl.” “That's true.” I responded, “I also think Mami-san and Homura can handle things without us needing to become magical girls. But what is the wish you really want to make, Sayaka? Is it one for Kamijo?” Sayaka breathed a deep sigh over that. “Yeah, it is.” Sayaka said, before rolling over to her other side, and facing away from me, “Madoka, the problem is... my heart is torn in two. Half of it belongs to Kamijo, and the other half belongs.... to someone else. And for me to become a magical girl just for Kamijo's sake, I'd need to feel like my whole heart belonged to him.” Sayaka's words here truly stunned me, and made me blink uneasily. I never knew she had a crush on somebody else! I wonder who it could be... “...Who is this other person you have romantic feelings for?” I asked. Affection Calculation Time! To determine what happens next, calculate your affection level with Sayaka Miki. In order to make that calculation, refer to the following data to determine the net effect of your choices. Spoiler for Sayaka Miki Affection Data:
If your overall affection level with Sayaka Miki is +2 or higher and if you chose A or B for Choice 1, then read section Sayaka Confession, otherwise read section Sayaka Decision. Spoiler for Sayaka Confession:
Spoiler for Sayaka Decision:
After getting home, I decided to do some homework, and hopefully get a good night's sleep. Even though tomorrow was Saturday, I couldn't help but feel that it would be another big day! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And I suspect that this will be my most controversial update yet.  Oh well, hope it works for Madoka/Mami and Madoka/Sayaka shippers alike. ^_^
__________________
Last edited by Triple_R; 2012-02-11 at 20:16. |
|
|
|
|
2012-02-11, 21:57
|
Link #84 |
|
Enjoying Snack Time!
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Where It's Legal to Marry Clara and Alice
Age: 35
|
Awesome scenarios. I'm loving the yummy romance between Mami and Madoka, and the routes are getting better than I expected. The Sayaka route is pretty well written and interesting, as well, considering that she's also my second favourite heroine in the series.
I enjoyed the story of how Sayaka and Madoka first met, it reminds me of BokuTomo and how the main guy and girl first met, with the obvious twist. Did you write that part as a reference or was it something original? I look forward to more keep them coming!!
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
2012-02-11, 23:56
|
Link #85 |
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Earth
|
Objection Ahh... Phoenix Wright. Playing you was fun though I'm aware you're breaking thousands of court protocol.
The Mami romance chain looks okay if but, I'm feeling that it is moving too fast. But, you've already discussed that Mami is a very smooth operator when she wants too. Still, I would reject Mami's offer its only the first date after all.  And then, Hitomi died as expected and Sayaka became a magical girl. Sigh... And finally we're in my chosen route - The Mami Friendship route... Wow... I feel really conflicted with all the choices presented here. Well let's start with the easiest one in my opinion is whether we should be thanking Homura. Spoiler for 11:
And now that is out of the way we move on to the harder choices. Btw, if HS mean Homura-Sayaka route, then MFS meant Madoka-Friendship-Sayaka route?  Spoiler for really hard choice MFS:
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
2012-02-12, 04:43
|
Link #87 |
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Age: 35
|
Kazuki Kudo? Is that a real reference? I've played, hmm, I think the first three Phoenix Wright games myself but don't quite know what to make of a "real" lawyer modelled after him. On the other hand, the idea of someone "dressing" and "doing his hair" like Phoenix made me think of the upcoming live action Phoenix Wright adaptation, heh. I haven't really heard much about the movie except that it exists, but this reference was in anyway connected that I'm certainly very excited for it, lol.
Incidentally, one thing about the various routes where Hitomi dies. I forgot to mention this earlier, but it was my impression that in the anime the chemicals the bewitched people were trying to mix result in a poisonous gas; not an explosion. Googling for specifics, the combination seems to be ammonia and bleach combining to produce vaporous chlorine. Just a minor correction there. In any case, great chapters for both sections this time. Although I'm on the Mami Friendship route, I would've already qualified for "Mami's offer" (  lol) and definitely would have been inclined to go for it. Comparatively, on the Mami Friendship chain, I just barely qualified for Sayaka's route by selecting to say that Sayaka's hair is already great as it is (which I definitely believe is true in any case, lol). For the Sayaka Affection Data calculation, I do have one other correction in that Opportunity Choice 4 should not have been available for us on the Mami Lives route. Since Mami was successfully saved by Homura, there was no need for Sayaka to be informed about Homura's circumstances during that witch battle, so that calculation point should probably be moved over to the other two chains.Jumping back a bit, I also chose response A for choice 11. Still tentatively moving forwards with a "harem route" hoping to somehow answer all of the girls' feelings, lol. In response to Sayaka's confession, I actually completely accepted it and went with choice B. As night_sentinel mentioned, it feels like this is the only current path to prevent Sayaka from becoming a mahou shoujo; but beyond that, it also felt like the most natural choice given Madoka and Sayaka's relationship. Incidentally, I was really wondering what the "F" in "MFS" could stand for, lol, until night_sentinel brought up the possibility that it could mean "friendship". If my interpretation is correct though, the "M" makes it stand for Mami-Friendship Sayaka-route rather than Madoka-friendship-Sayaka, right? All of these developments, with Hitomi dying and Sayaka still potentially feeling set to become a Mahou Shoujo, are very interesting. While watching the actual anime, I always expected Madoka to eventually contract herself so it's not like I think it's best to completely separate Madoka and Sayaka from the world of Puella Magi. However, I definitely think that part of Sayaka's tragic end arose from how quickly she rushed into her contract and so I do want to prevent that to the extent that in this story I will be able to. Given that, I am fairly satisfied with my position in the story right now. One thing I do see potentially 'causing issues in the future though might be the somewhat unbalanced relationship between Sayaka and Madoka. If Sayaka is the "gallant prince", and Madoka is the "princess" to be protected, there's the potential that Sayaka might still in fact jump ahead and contract without consulting Madoka if Madoka becomes endangered. Hopefully, if that outcome does show up, I might be able to avoid it, lol. Good work once again. Nice job!
|
|
|
|
|
2012-02-12, 15:51
|
Link #88 | ||||||||||||||
|
Senior Member
Author
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Age: 42
|
Quote:
One thing I'm aiming for with this fanfic is "filling in interesting gaps" left open by the anime (spin-off mangas and the like might address these, but I'm admittedly working strictly off of the anime here). One such gap is "How is Mami affording to live in such a nice home all by herself when she's not working any paying jobs?" So I tried to come up with a neat scenario to explain that, including a (hopefully) amusing Phoenix Wright reference. To get a Japanese name for "Phoneix Wright", I tried to think of a famous anime lawyer. When that didn't work, I tried to think of a famous anime Detective (since Detectives often work closely with Lawyers). And the first name to come to me was Detective Conan's Jimmy Kudo. Due to my love of alliteration, I tried to think of a good "K" given name to put before "Kudo". 'Kazuki' was the name of a character I liked in Buso Renkin, so... Kazuki Kudo it was! Quote:
Thanks for the info, all the same. As for the Affection data tables, I admit that I'm just copying and pasting the most recent templates of them (including all choices in all routes) every time an "Affection Calculation Time!" moment pops up. I'm not carefully editing out non-relevant choices from different routes. If people find that tricky, though, I can make such edits each time I put up an Affection data table. Quote:
Quote:
My thinking with Sayaka is complex here (as to why it's impossible/almost impossible for her to not become a magical girl barring a romance with Madoka) - more than what I want to get into in this already long reply, but I'll share it with you later by PM.  Quote:
This is putting aside any "harem ends" you might eventually talk me into, Sol. Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Spoiler for Mami Romance Route reply:
Thanks to everyone for the great feedback. They keep me pumped up to keep writing more at a fast pace!
__________________
Last edited by Triple_R; 2012-02-12 at 16:12. |
||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
2012-02-14, 17:28
|
Link #90 |
|
Senior Member
Author
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Age: 42
|
Chapter 9
Canon Route Chain “I don't know what's wrong with me!” That's what Hitomi was exclaiming this morning to Sayaka and I. It was the morning after Sayaka's victory over the TV-Witch. “What's wrong, Hitomi?” Sayaka asked, “Not enough sleep?” “I was up late last night dealing with the hospital and the police.” Hitomi answered. “What?!” Sayaka asked, acting very shocked, “Did something happen?” I had to admit I was a bit amused by Sayaka's skill at hiding the truth here. I never knew she could be such a convincing actress! “I had an episode of sleepwalking, or something like that.” Hitomi answered embarrassingly, “When I came to, I found myself collapsed with a group of people.” Sayaka chuckled over that, pretending to find Hitomi's words to be very hard to believe. “Seriously?” Sayaka asked, over Hitomi's story. In response to Sayaka's seeming skepticism, Hitomi then brought her hands together, to try to convey a more serious look. “The Doctor said it might have been a collective hallucination...” Hitomi continued in explanation, “They want me to come in after school today for more tests. It's such a pain...” “You really should have stayed home today.” Sayaka said, with her arms neatly folded across her chest, which I think might signify how Sayaka felt like a strong hero here. “I can't!” Hitomi protested, “If I do, it'll seem like I'm really sick! My family would get even more worried.” “That's our Honours student!” Sayaka exclaimed complimentary, “So mature!” Sayaka then started laughing loudly. But as Sayaka laughed, I noticed Homura looking over at her with a certain glaring anger in her eyes. It made me feel deeply concerned for Sayaka, and wondering if she had made the right choice in choosing to contract with Kyubey in order to heal Kamijo's hand. After school, Sayaka and I headed to the outskirts of Mitakihara Town's main park. We rested upon the grassy slopes next to a large shimmering lake. Sayaka stretched her entire body out over the grassy slopes, while I sat beside her. “Man, I haven't felt this great in ages.” she sexclaimed to me, “It's exhilarating!” “Aren't you scared, Sayaka?” I asked her, as I was still feeling a certain dread based upon what Homura was like in school today. “Yeah, a little bit.” Sayaka admitted, “Yesterday went fine, though. Besides, I could have lost my two best friends, you and Hitomi. That's a lot scarier.” I breathed uneasily over this. I was scared for Sayaka, but her words were sweet and true. I was moved by them, and I don't doubt that she meant them. But still... “So!” Sayaka exclaimed, as she quickly rose to a sitting position, and held out her blue Soul Gem towards me, “I dunno. Maybe it's confidence. Maybe it's relief. And there's probably a bit of pride mixed in too. I think this is my chance to shine!” Sayaka came to a standing position as she expressed her desire to shine. “I, Magical Girl Sayaka, will protect the peace of Mitakihara City!” she proudly proclaimed, while she pumped one fist into the air and smiled widely. I wanted to accept what Sayaka was accepting here. It sounded heroic, and wonderful. Yet, due to Mami's death and Homura's warnings, I feared it was too good to be true. But if it was true, what did that say about me? Was I a selfish fool or a coward for not taking the same opportunity as Sayaka did? Should I have become a magical girl hero for the good our our entire city? “So you don't regret it at all?” I asked Sayaka. “I guess if there's anything I regret...” Sayaka began in answer, “It's waiting so long. After all, if I had made up my mind quicker, I could have fought alongside Mami and maybe she wouldn't have died.” Sayaka then sat back down next to me. I felt chastened by her words, for they could easily apply to me as well.... Thinking back on Mami made me feel very sad, and guilty. I started to whimper a bit over sad thoughts over her tragic death... But Sayaka playfully poked me in the face with one finger to bring me back into the here and now. “What are you thinking, anyway?” she asked me. “I... I mean, I...” I began stammering in reply, trying to find the best words to convey to Sayaka what I had been thinking lately, without overly depressing her. “I guess hindsight's twenty-twenty.” Sayaka said, “When you ask 'why?', that's exactly the point! I just had to become a magical girl!” “Sayaka-chan...” I uttered with a mixture of awe and concern. “I found my wish.” Sayaka continued, “I have something I don't care if I have to risk my life in battle for. I just kind of regret that it took me so long to realize it.” Sayaka then looked my way, and smiled slightly at me, while she relaxingly hung her arms over her knees. “So you don't need to feel pressured.” she said to me, “It just means that you don't have to become a magical girl.” While Sayaka's wish didn't have to do with me, nor is it for my direct benefit, it was clear to me that I may have factored into her decision to become a magical girl. She wanted to save Hitomi and me. She wanted to take pressure off of me. Sayaka then left, as she told me she had somewhere to go and something to do. But as she left, I felt a deep desire to get help for Sayaka, based on all the frightening warnings that Homura had given me. But Homura herself was the only person who I could think of to turn to right now. I wasn't sure if I felt up to talking to Homura about it though... Affection Calculation Time! An Opportunity Choice will now be made available to you depending on your affection level with Akemi Homura. To determine your affection level, refer to the following Akemi Homura Affection Data, and calculate your affection wit her. Spoiler for Akemi Homura Affection Data:
Your overall affection level with Akemi Homura must be 0 or higher in order for Option B of Opportunity Choice 6 to become available. Otherwise, you must select A. If you end up selecting A, skip over Section OC6B Opportunity Choice 6: A) Don't bother going to Homura for help. B) Try to get help from Homura. Spoiler for Section OC6B:
With my desire to help Sayaka pushing me onwards, I decided to wait outside of the entrance to her home after arriving at it in the late evening. If my guess was right, Sayaka was intending to go on a magical girl patrol, like Mami used to. At the very least, I could back Sayaka up there. I could only hope that it would prove to be enough... __________________________________________________ __________ Homura/Sayaka Alliance Chain It was the morning after Homura's victory over the TV-Witch. Sayaka and I were chatting with Hitomi just before morning's classes, primarily to make sure she was Ok, but also to determine if she knew anything that she probably shouldn't know. “I don't know what's wrong with me!” Hitomi exclaimed, after yawning loudly, “I'm so terribly sorry.” “What's wrong, Hitomi?” Sayaka asked, “Not enough sleep?” “I was up late last night dealing with the hospital and the police.” Hitomi answered. “What?!” Sayaka asked, acting very shocked, “Did something happen?” I had to admit I was a bit amused by Sayaka's skill at hiding the truth here. I never knew she could be such a convincing actress! “I had an episode of sleepwalking, or something like that.” Hitomi answered embarrassingly, “When I came to, I found myself collapsed with a group of people.” Sayaka chuckled over that, pretending to find Hitomi's words to be very hard to believe. “Seriously?” Sayaka asked, over Hitomi's story. In response to Sayaka's seeming skepticism, Hitomi then brought her hands together, to try to convey a more serious look. “The Doctor said it might have been a collective hallucination...” Hitomi continued in explanation, “They want me to come in after school today for more tests. It's such a pain...” “You really should have stayed home today.” Sayaka said, with her arms neatly folded across her chest. “I can't!” Hitomi protested, “If I do, it'll seem like I'm really sick! My family would get even more worried.” “That's our Honours student!” Sayaka exclaimed complimentary, “So mature!” Sayaka then started laughing loudly. I was relieved that Hitomi, and likely the other victims of last night's witches attack, would not have to learn of the dark world of witches and familiars. Right after Sayaka finished laughing, Homura walked over to her. “Sayaka-san” Homura said, “I'd like to speak to you privately outside of class just for a minute.” “Huh?” Sayaka responded to that, a bit startled by it, “Um... Ok, that should be fine.” I figured that Homura wanted to talk to Sayaka about something relating to the world of magical girls and witches, not wanting Hitomi to overhear it. I didn't like being left out of such a conversation, but I also figured that Homura didn't want to overly alarm Hitomi by calling for a private conversation with both Sayaka and me. “... Strange.” Hitomi said, as Sayaka followed Homura outside the room, “I didn't know that Sayaka had made friends with Akemi-san.” “There were some... heated disagreements between them.” I explained to Hitomi, “But thankfully they were able to make amends with one another. Homura doesn't open up very easily, so I hope that she can be good friends with Sayaka.” I didn't see the harm in revealing this much to Hitomi, especially since it might distract from the likely specifics of Sayaka and Homura's conversation. Being invited out like this by Akemi-san really took me by surprise. I know that we've put our past differences behind us, but still... “Not that I have a problem with it, but why are you addressing me by my given name all of a sudden?” I asked Akemi-san, as we chatted privately outside the class. “...There's not many people I trust.” Akemi-san replied to me, “Once a person has gained my confidence and trust, I prefer to work on a given name basis with them.” “...I'm flattered and stunned that I've gained your trust.” I replied to her, “I guess it's only fair that I start addressing you by given name as well, then. So, anyway, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?” “I'd like for you to meet up with me after school.” Homura responded, “I'd like you to accompany me to... an important meeting. Due to the sensitive nature of this meeting, I can't divulge much about it here. I trust you know why.” I couldn't help but to smirk about this. Playing the role I currently am in protecting the city was kinda fun, more than I thought it would be. It's like I'm now some flashy Intelligence Agent in a mystery novel or one of those really old, classic James Bond movies! Still, Homura's request was a bit inconvenient. “I'd like to help you, really I would” I explained to Homura, “But it's been awhile since I've visited Kyosuke, and I'm feeling a bit guilty about that. So I was intending to visit him today.” Homura looked slightly annoyed over this, but pressed on without much hesitation. “If you agree to accompany me to the important meeting I told you about, then I don't mind accompanying you for a brief trip to the hospital.” Homura replied. Now this was very startling. This was almost normal, and even pretty friendly. The very last thing I expected from Homura, of all people. Still, maybe she's not as strange and difficult to deal with as I had thought. “Ok.” I said to her, before teasing her a bit over it, “But just so you know, this is the sort of thing that friends do. You sure you're Ok with that?” “For the time being, yes.” Homura said, “I don't particularly care if you view me as a friend, or just as an ally. The key is making sure to protect the people that are important to us, correct?” As Homura said this, I couldn't help but wonder about which people are important to her. She does seem to care an awful lot about Madoka, almost as much as I myself do. I wonder why? But that's a question that could wait for later. I strongly agreed in principle with Homura's words, so I just went along with her for now. It's convenient that Homura didn't mind accompanying me to the hospital, as I sometimes felt guilty about dragging Madoka with me so often when I go there. This should hopefully give Madoka a bit of a break from everything, and a chance to get over the traumatic events she's been through lately. But Madoka had later expressed to me a desire to come along with Homura and I. I didn't particularly care either way, but Homura firmly objected to it, so I talked Madoka out of it by reassuring her that I'd share any “need to know” important details that come out of this important meeting that I was going to go to with Homura. First, though, I had to stop by to visit Kyosuke! She's been in there over forty minutes now. I'll never understand what she sees in that violinist. He's pure artifice. Nice sounding music ultimately signifying nothing. Take that away, and he's just another normal person, ruled by selfishness and conceit. Nothing like Madoka. I eventually see her walk out to where I'm sitting. She has tears in her eyes. This isn't good. As irritating as this is, I'm going to have to mitigate this situation before it causes her to break her agreement with me. “Sayaka” I say in a concerned tone of voice, “You didn't...?” “No.” she said curtly, while lowering her head and closing her eyes to try to shroud her pain from me, “I don't break agreements that easily, Homura. Let's go before I change my mind on that.” That last line said under her breath concerned me. But I'm not here to play Psychologist. There's simply not enough time for that, even if it was a viable option for me. Nonetheless, gaining Sayaka's trust and agreement is now essential to my latest plan to save Madoka. I would need to be at least somewhat sympathetic to her. ...Plus, it's not as though I still disliked Sayaka. “It's unfortunate that your visit with Kamijo didn't go well.” I said to her as we walked away from the hospital, “Hopefully, he'll be in a better mood next time you go to see him.” “...Thanks.” She replied in a low tone, but before quickly changing topics, “So who are we going to meet at this important meeting you told me about?” “You should know, first of all, that it might take us some time to meet her.” I answered, as Sayaka and I continued to walk along, “I'm using my Soul Gem to try to locate a witch or familiar. My hope is that by attacking that witch or familiar, I'll draw her out.” “That's interesting, but it doesn't answer my question.” Sayaka replied. “With the death of Mami Tomoe, a new magical girl should be in town by now to take over her old territory.” I explained to Sayaka, “It's imperative that I meet up with her, as I will soon need her help.” “What do you need her help for?” Sayaka asked. That's one question I didn't want to answer. But I've brought Sayaka Miki this far in, so I probably would have to answer it regardless. “I'll answer you that question if you promise me you won't tell Madoka about it.” I said to her. “Why don't you want Madoka to know about it?” Sayaka asked. That's one question I wasn't going to answer. Hopefully she'll get the hint, and accept my condition. After sighing lightly, she did. “Fine, fine.” Sayaka said, “I won't tell Madoka about it. What is it that you need the help of this other magical girl for?” “In two weeks time this city will be attacked by a giant witch more monstrous than you can imagine.” I answered, “It's called Walpurgis Night. It's unlikely I can defeat that witch alone. Having the help of another magical girl will likely be necessary here.” Sayaka blinked uneasily over that. “...Then why have you tried so hard to stop Madoka and I from becoming magical girls?!” Sayaka asked incredulously. “I don't mean any disrespect, but...” I began in answer, “Walpurgis Night is a witch that only experienced magical girls should face. Not ones with less than a month of experience.” With that answer, everything was starting to crystallize for me now. The whole basis of the disagreement between Mami and Homura was now clear. With this Walpurgis Night coming, Homura didn't want 'rookie' magical girls to get dragged into a fight above their heads. While I found the implications here a bit insulting, I can at least and at last see where Homura has been coming from all along. ... And yeah, I have to admit that Madoka and I are the sort of people that would endanger ourselves to try to save others, as last night alone proved. Kyubey and Mami probably found that to be a positive characteristic for Madoka and I, but Homura saw it as a potential risk given the circumstances. “Ok, I think I finally get where you've been coming from all of this time.” I said to Homura, “But what if you and this other magical girl can't handle Walpurgis Night? Maybe Madoka and I should...” “No.” Homura replied firmly, “The new magical girl and I will be able to handle it.” “Why are you bringing me along to this meeting then?” I asked. “Because you now need to be in on this agreement as well.” Homura explained, “It'll all be clear to you soon. We've now reached a familiar. Stay close behind me!” “Right!” I exclaimed, as I shifted behind Homura. Homura then quickly transformed into her magical girl outfit. The two of us then walked down a flight of stairs that I think lead to some sort of energy maintenance or plumbing area deep within the bowels of the city. As Homura and I walked through the familiar's barrier, the steps and walls turned from their normal color to a bright neon green. I also saw giant crayons falling in front of us, and what I think was a partially melted yellow ruler overhead. The sides of the walls also now kinda resembled humongous pieces of notebook paper. These witches and familiars certainly have some weird tastes... “Don't let your guard down.” Homura said to me, as we carefully descended the stairs, and then walked forward, “Even a familiar can easily hurt a normal human.” As we moved further along, I suddenly heard some loud, playful grunting, as though coming from some rambunctious young boy. Next thing I knew, yellow balls were bouncing all around us! “Duck and take cover!” Homura shouted to me! I did so, but while still looking all around me to see where this attack might be coming from. “There it is!” I shouted to Homura, pointing at some bizarre cartoonish creature flying around in what looked like a WWII era fighter plane. Homura then pulled out a gun, and started shooting at the familiar with it! Homura's first couple shots missed, but the third and fourth shots hit their mark, bringing the familiar crashing down, defeated! “Great going, Homura!” I exclaimed as I pumped a first, impressed at her quick victory. But somebody else wasn't pleased. As the familiar's barrier dissipated, an acrobatic and fast spear-wielding redhead girl in a simply stunning red dress made her presence loudly known! If you chose A for Choice 3, read Section “Sayaka notices Madoka Went 3-for-3”. Otherwise, skip over it. Spoiler for Sayaka Notices Madoka Went 3-for-3:
“Hey, what the heck are you two doing?!” she angrily asked of Homura and I. “Is that the new magical girl?” I asked of Homura, in order to make sure of that. “Yes.” Homura answered, “Stay behind me, and let me handle her.” “Hello!” the redhead magical girl shouted at us, while she pointed her spear directly towards Homura and I, “I asked you two a question!” “Isn't it the role of magical girls to fight both witches and familiars?” Homura asked this girl, while Homura waved a hand through her air. “...So you're like Mami Tomoe then, huh?” this other girl asked, “Well, I don't believe in that crap! Us magical girls hold up our end of the bargain just by being magical girls. It's up to each of us what we do beyond that, and I don't know about you, but I have no intention of killing the goose that lays the golden eggs.” ... I can't say I was liking this new magical girl. Not at all. She sounds like some heartless and selfish Grief Seed farmer. I wanted to speak up here, but I decided to let Homura handle this, at least for now. “There's a few people in this city that are important to me.” Homura said to the redhead, “If a familiar gets too close to one of them, I intend to destroy it. But let me be clear here. I don't go out of my way to hunt down familiars. You're right that it's important to ensure our Grief Seed supply remains plentiful.” These words seemed to calm the redheaded magical girl a bit, as she pulled her spear back closer to her side. “...Well, at least you're not some justice freak who doesn't recognize what being a magical girl is really all about.” she said to Homura, “Still, it's not a good idea for one of us to be close to normal humans. That never works out well...” “It surprisingly works well for me.” Homura said, as she gestured towards me with one hand, “This girl here is named Sayaka Miki. Yesterday evening I was able to track down a witch due to her aid. It can be useful to have a normal human willing to patrol your territory for you, and then call you in when she finds a witch.” “You're actually willing to do that?!” the redhead asked of me, as she was quite shocked. “Yes.” I replied, “Because like Homura, there's people in this city I want to protect.” I think the redhead girl seemed stunned by all of this. Given how decisive and forceful she seemed at first, it was strange to see her come across as unsure of herself now. “Well, that's nice and all...” she stated, “But that's beside the point. I don't intend to share this turf with another magical girl! It never worked out with Mami, and I doubt it'll work out now, either!” “That's why I'm willing to leave this city to you, under two conditions” Homura said, stunning both the redhead and myself. “What two conditions?” the redhead asked. “First of all, I want you to make the same agreement with Sayaka that I made.” Homura said, “Don't worry. That agreement won't require you to kill many familiars, only a small percentage of them. And in return, Sayaka will offer you the same benefits that she's offered me. Secondly, there is the issue of Walpurgis Night...” Homura explained that to the redheaded girl, who I would soon learn was named Kyouko Sakura. I had considerable misgivings over what Homura was doing here. While I didn't like Homura as much as I did Mami, this Kyouko really rubbed me the wrong way. I'd much prefer dealing with Homura than with her! I could tell that Kyouko also had misgivings about all of this, only from the opposite perspective. “Why should I make a burdensome agreement that I don't have to?” Kyouko asked with a tone of irritation, before a malicious grin swept across her face, “Why don't I just take you out!?” “That's...” Homura began in reply. Then, in an instant, Homura went from standing in front of Kyouko to standing off to Kyouko's side... with a handgun aimed point blank at the side of Kyouko's head! “...easier said than done.” Homura concluded. “W-wow!” I exclaimed breathlessly, “So cool!” I couldn't help but smirk over how the tables had turned on Kyouko here. Kyouko, for her part, was sweating bullets. “...Fine!” she finally relented, “I'll go along with this lame agreement of yours. But you two better hold up to your side of it as well!” “Of course.” Homura said, as she pulled back her gun. “Anyway, I'd had enough of this for one day.” Kyouko said, “I'll see you around.” Kyouko then leaped upwards, stealthily back and forth from one ledge to the next to the next before finally leaving. “As cool as that was, Homura...” I said to her, while I gazed upwards at Kyouko while she made her exit, “I still don't trust that girl.” “You will. In time.” Homura replied to me, “Besides, you'll have a couple weeks to evaluate her for yourself, as I intend for all three of us to work closely together over that time.” “And then you intend to leave.” I stated to Homura, “Why? I hope that it's not just to get her to help you!” “... Are you seriously concerned for me?” Homura asked me. “Well, I...” I began stammering a bit in reply, not sure what to say here. I have to admit that I was kinda growing to like Homura. In her own way, she could be very smooth, efficient, effective. I also no longer thought that she was a selfish person. She, like me, wanted to protect innocent people. Well, at least some people. I don't like the compromises I've had to make first with Homura, and now with this Kyoko, but maybe it's for the best. Maybe it's... “AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!” Homura and I both cried out, as we were both struck hard by something, knocking us unconscious... To get that full VN feel for the following section, click on this link, and listen to the theme song at it, while you read the following... “Disengage cloak.” came a voice that would be alien to both Homura and Sayaka, though ironically belonging to an adult male human. As his cloak was disengaged, his immense mechanical flying machine, shaped like a gargantuan beetle, became viewable. He was standing in a makeshift balcony situated near the top of “the beetle”. Standing beside him were two androids shaped like giant bipedal insects, each about the size of two large muscular human males. He himself had bright green hair and eyebrows. His facial features were sharp and angular. His eyes were beady. His arms were neatly folded across his chest. He wore a purple business suit with a white shirt underneath. Most notably, though, he wore a large, green, malleable Soul Gem in the shape of a necktie, around his neck. One final important fact was the identity of the alien with him... “Incubator!” he shouted to him, “Are those two girls unconscious, but alive?” “Yes!” Kyubey confirmed, after leaping off of the balcony to scurry about the fallen forms of Akemi Homura and Sayaka Miki. “Excellent.” the green-haired magic man said, as a devious grin washed across his face, while he leaped off of his 'beetle' to join Kyubey on the ground below, “I knew those two SSS-bots would come in handy!” Homura and Sayaka had been grabbed and rendered unconscious by two invisible SSS-bots, which had been created by cutting edge technology to be entirely silent but fearsomely formidable. SSS stood for “Stealth, Storm, Shock”, and that is precisely what they had done to Homura and Sayaka. “Aaahhh...” the green-haired man said, with a quick release of satisfaction and swelling nostalgia, “It's great to be back on Earth again. It's been several decades since I've last seen my native planet.” “I trust that you're satisfied with the results of me contacting you? Of informing you of the opportunity you had here?” Kyubey asked him. “Kidnapping a couple teenage girls to force a third to make a ransom wish for me.” the green-haired man said, as a maniacal smile spread across his face, “I'm honestly impressed, Incubator. It's such pure, evil genius!” “It's not about human concepts like good or evil.” Kyubey replied, “It's about ensuring that Kaname Madoka contracts with me and becomes a magical girl!” “Yes, that girl must mean an awful lot to you in order for you to actually turn to me for help.” the green-haired man said in boastful reply, “I would imagine that getting my help is something of a nuclear solution for you and your people.” “Kaname Madoka has magical energy potential that surpasses even yours, Emperor Jinnai!” Kyubey exclaimed to him. “Heh!” Jinnai chortled in reply, “I'll believe that when I see it. In any event, you better be right about her! I hope I didn't waste my time coming back here for nothing but rekindling old memories.” “Kaname Madoka will not allow a friend to die if she can help it.” Kyubey stated, “In return for the safe return of Sayaka Miki and Akemi Homura she'll make almost any ransom wish that you could desire!” At these words, the man calling himself 'Emperor Jinnai' chuckled loudly. “This planet's prodigal son has returned.” he stated, “But only to become its prodigal King! To think that this normal 14-year old girl named 'Sayaka Miki' is going to be the bargaining chip that nets me unquestioned dominion over Earth, my planet of birth! Due to one wish from a naive little girl, I will become Sovereign of this entire planet! And this will be accomplished without having to fire a single shot! Ha ha ha ha ha... Bwa-ha-ha-Ha-Ah-Ha-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!” To Be Continued...
__________________
Last edited by Triple_R; 2012-02-17 at 06:05. |
|
|
|
|
2012-02-14, 19:11
|
Link #91 |
|
Kneel Before Your King!
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: My kingdom
Age: 39
|
Response to Canon:
Spoiler for Canon:
Response to Alliance: Spoiler for Alliance:
Gotta say... I'm actually a little scared from this update. So... uh... if that's what you were going for, congrats!
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
2012-02-14, 23:29
|
Link #92 |
|
Senior Member
Author
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Age: 42
|
Just to be clear, this latest update is somewhat experimental. I tried a few different things (such as changing narrator voice to get in more of the "fanfic original" parts of the story), and I also incorporated what's probably my most controversial idea for this fanfic (an OC antagonist).
I did this partly to "spice up" a section that would otherwise be a bit dull, I feared. Another part of my idea with the OC antagonist is that I'd like for the four remaining chains to not be wildly divergent in length, so in the case of two or three of them, incorporating new obstacles to challenge Madoka et al can take the place of a Sayaka vs. Kyouko conflict that it doesn't really make sense to arise in some of these chains. I also have to admit I intend to have some fun with Madoka meeting an openly "bad guy" for a change. Still, if anybody is strongly against me using an OC antagonist, or the other things I tried in this update, now's the time to let me know. I'm not willing to completely re-write Chapter 9, but I can make some changes to it if desired. And constructive criticism feedback against it can influence where I go with the story going forward. On the flip side, if anybody really liked the OC antagonist, or some of the other things I tried in this update, I'd love to know that as well, of course.
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
2012-02-15, 01:03
|
Link #93 |
|
Sayaka★Magica
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Under the piercing blue sky
|
In the Mami Friendship Chain route. I picked [11A] -> [MFS1A] -> [SOC1B] for my choices.
Spoiler for 11A:
Spoiler for MFS1A:
Spoiler for The Flashback and the Confession:
The Homura/Sayaka Alliance chain part was an engaging read. It was very interesting to see the story unfold in the first 3/4 from the alternating views of Sayaka and Homura. Somehow, that was the type of conversation between them that I actually wanted to see, but never had the chance to. Spoiler for about Sayaka:
, though I didn't expect him to show up looking much like The Joker. The suddenness surprised me, though I had some kind of grin and goosebumps reading that part (complete with the music you suggested). While I'm not against seeing an OC antagonist, I was expecting to encounter him as a result of a decision. Nevertheless, it seems quite interesting to see how this will play out.For the parts I did not mention, that's not to say I didn't like them, it's just that I haven't read them yet in favor of the two routes I'm reading, the Mami Friendship - Sayaka route as my actual choice and the Homura/Sayaka alliance as an alternate read.
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
2012-02-15, 02:35
|
Link #94 |
|
Dictadere~!
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: On the front lines, fighting for inderpendence.
|
Glad to see the beginnings of Homura's path are becoming clearer with this affection calculator for her. I'll probably go her route first and take on Kyoko's afterwards.
Other than that, this OC scares me with his "Prodigal Son" talk. It makes me fear for what he wants, especially considering he also said "Planet's".
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
2012-02-15, 05:40
|
Link #95 |
|
The Opened Ultimate Gate
Join Date: Dec 2011
Age: 29
|
i'm gonna be somewhat biased here because joker and villain of his type is among my most hated kind of fictional character. i'm don't like this OC, i'm also think psychotic genius self-proclaimed king villain is cliched and not fit for an anime like madoka and most anime, they are too western-like IMO
what i like in anime villain is that they often being "evil" not just for sake of being evil, in other word, evil for a reason, or evil because of Trauma or being mistreated but in fact good(Accelerator from To Aru Index series for example). i'm really think you should build a more complicated villain that have a backstory or a reason for being evil. some type of non-pure evil anime villain i liked or at least not disliked is: Villain that being "evil" for someone else in To Aru Series: Spoiler for To Aru Anime Series:
and in Mawaru Penguin drum Spoiler for Mawaru Penguin drum:
in Shana Spoiler for Shana:
Villain that being evil because of Trauma or being mistreated in To Aru Series: Spoiler for To Aru Anime Series:
and in Mawaru Penguin drum Spoiler for Mawaru Penguin drum:
in Rozen maiden Spoiler for Rozen Maiden:
Villain that fight or being evil for an ideal and what they believe in. in To Aru Series: Spoiler for To Aru Anime Series:
in Mawaru Penguin drum Spoiler for Mawaru Penguin drum:
and kyoko in ep 5 and 6 can somehow be considered this type of villain as well. Another type is Amoral Villain, those are often non-human and neither good or evil , they are free from moral and immoral beliefs, who’s amoral often sees truth as a “necessary lie” to set the order of things—believing that we are pre-programmed by nature to carry out such tasks in the world.. Kyubey, Sanetoshi Watase (Mawaru Penguin drum) and Drosselmeyer (Princess Tutu) is example this type. the last type is non-human villain, they are not pure evil but they just doesn't give a damn about human, for example: Guze no Tomogara (Shana), Archangel Gabriel (To Aru Index)
__________________
Last edited by Kimidori; 2012-02-15 at 05:53. |
|
|
|
|
2012-02-16, 01:46
|
Link #96 | |
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Age: 35
|
Quote:
First, some thoughts on the POV sections of the Sayaka/Homura alliance chain...regarding Sayaka referring to people by their surnames, I actually have the impression that Sayaka overwhelmingly refers to people with just their given names and no honourifics at all. Whether they are people she's close to like Madoka and Hitomi, or people she's on unsteady terms with like Homura or Kyouko, I think given her passion and friendly personality Sayaka very quickly moves onto a first name basis in addressing them, at least amongst her peers. On Homura as well, her initial thoughts somewhat threw me, in how scathing she was towards Kyousuke. I don't really get the impression that Homura's struggles have made her jaded towards people (i.e. they're all selfish, or anything to that effect) so much as she's grown cynical of people's naivete, optimism, and hopeful feelings. I don't think that Homura necessarily thinks of Kyousuke as a bad person, but rather just finds Sayaka's idealistic, hopeful love for him (to the extent of wanting to give for him without expecting anything in return) foolish in itself. Anyway, on to the "bomb" of an original character which everyone else is talking about, lol. To be honest, I do find such a strong external/crossover element to be very foreign and somewhat disruptive to my immersion in the story, particularly given that, this still being a route in which Mami dies, I had the perhaps unjustified impression that this would be a storyline tracking closer to canon. In the end though, this is essentially your fanfiction, so I don't particularly wish to pour cold water on a plotline you would enjoy writing; given, after all, that there are still at least three plotlines which are suited to my tastes. I do also sympathize with your dilemma in terms of somewhat lacking conflict in a storyline where Kyouko, Homura, and Sayaka are all allies/friends. In terms of future plot developments I think all the story branches could deal with, aside from the approaching Walpurgisnacht, there are the revelations about the Puella Magi system regarding the true nature of the Soul Gems, and how witches are born. Madoka Magica's original storyline is pretty tightly scripted to lead up to these developments--Kyouko's antagonism leading to Madoka's actions spurring the Soul Gem discovery, and Sayaka's despair following that leading to the revelation about witches. Since in these varying story paths we are removing elements of these like Kyouko's conflict with Sayaka, or Sayaka's contract to become a magical girl in the first place, I can see how alternative devices are needed to bring these developments to the surface. However, I do still hope that most of the conflict in the story will revolve around the magical girl system itself. |
|
|
|
|
|
2012-02-16, 02:14
|
Link #97 | ||||
|
Senior Member
Author
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Age: 42
|
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
It makes sense to me for Homura to be angry towards the people who carelessly crush the hopes and feelings of others (like Kyousuke) rather than those who are optimistic and hopeful like Madoka is. Quote:
In my mind, the difference that Homura would see between herself and Sayaka can only lie in the specific person being sacrificed over. Madoka is deserving, Kyousuke isn't. That's how I think Homura would perceive it. Any alternative would make Homura rather hypocritical, in my view. I'd rather not see Homura that way.Still, I thank you, Coldlight, Kogetsu, Kimidori and asuras for your feedback and constructive criticism. You also made some interesting suggestions that I'll keep in mind, Sol. Some really great pictures you posted there, Coldlight, and good job determining who the anime character that inspired this OC character is.
__________________
Last edited by Triple_R; 2012-02-16 at 02:25. |
||||
|
|
|
|
2012-02-16, 04:45
|
Link #98 | ||||
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Age: 35
|
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
It's not that Homura thinks Kyousuke doesn't deserve to be helped (I don't think she's even familiar enough with him to make any judgements on his character); but she thinks Sayaka's desire to help him is foolish, at least as far as I see it. And as for herself, I think Homura only continues her quest to save Madoka because it's already too late for her (she's already a mahou shoujo) and she's got no other way out. Quote:
heh.).
|
||||
|
|
|
|
2012-02-16, 08:11
|
Link #99 | ||||||||
|
Senior Member
Author
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Age: 42
|
Quote:
Quote:
1) Explaining why she refuses to depend on others for help. 2) Explaining why she was so totally swept off of her feet by Madoka, and became dedicated to her. Madoka is generally a very nice person, but for Homura to put her on that high a pedestal compared to everybody else strongly suggests that Homura doesn't think that much of the "everybody else". I see plenty of evidence that Homura has a low opinion of humans in generals. At the very least, it's a perfectly viable interpretation of her character, and it's one that I'm still inclined to hold to. Quote:
Keep in mind that even as a Puella Magi, Homura's time-stop abilities could easily be used by Homura to enrich herself and live in the lap of luxury for whatever time she had left. Heck, simply selling off that weapons cache she amassed could net quite a bit of money... Quote:
What is her main, if not sole, reason for saying that? To persuade Madoka to deny her own selfless desire to help others, which aids Homura's selfless desire to save Madoka. It's ironic, but it is consistent and makes sense. To put it simply, Homura is intentionally misrepresenting her true views in order to ensure that she saves Madoka. Homura clearly views selfless and sacrificial acts in a positive light or... 1) She wouldn't have fallen for Madoka. 2) She wouldn't be choosing to selflessly sacrifice herself for Madoka's sake. For Homura to truly view selfless sacrificial acts as foolish would mean that Homura is a walking contradiction unto herself. And actions speak louder than words. I'm sorry, Sol, but I really do think your interpretation of Homura on this specific point is way off, and probably even the exact opposite of how Homura truly feels and thinks. Quote:
Now in the current timeline, Kyousuke once again is a problematic factor in Homura's plans. I can see that making her harsher towards him than most people, as he's made himself an irritation to her. If not for Kyousuke representing a threat to her plans, I do think Homura wouldn't be as harsh towards him in the narration I gave for her. But as is... Quote:
Also, Homura clearly continues to have strong feelings of love and friendship for Madoka in the final timeline, as indicated by Homura's emotional breakdown in front of Madoka in Episode 8 and Homura hugging Madoka tightly in Episode 11. Madoka in and of herself is the main reason why Homura continues her quest to save Madoka, not just some desire to "get out". Quote:
Quote:
However, I think it's completely false to argue that Homura views selfless sacrifice alone as inherently foolish or wrong, for the reasons I've already laid out here. Sayaka's self-sacrificing, hopeful love for Kyousuke is not something that I think Homura would fault in and of itself... except I do think that Homura thinks that only somebody special (like a Madoka) is deserving of that sort of thing. It's important to note that idealism, selflessness, and a sacrificial nature, are not all one and the same (i.e. many idealists would reject the notion that sacrifice is necessary to achieve one's goals because sacrifice isn't, well, ideal ). I think that Homura generally frowns on idealism due to how she views it as impractical, but she admires the selflessness and sacrificial tendencies of Madoka even as she must war against them in order to save Madoka. For me, that's where a lot of the beautiful drama and poetic irony in Homura's actions comes from.
__________________
Last edited by Triple_R; 2012-02-16 at 08:38. |
||||||||
|
|
|
|
2012-02-16, 23:42
|
Link #100 | |||
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Age: 35
|
Alright then, so a short update I guess on my debate with Triple R over Homura which continued over PM. I was probably a bit unclear in communicating what I really meant to say about Homura, so Triple R offered me the generous opportunity to update my position.
This is an excerpt from my most recent PM...of course, this post only reflects my side of the story. Quote:
Quote:
I don't really mean to undermine the "yuri" aspect of the series, lol. Basically, it's true that it's actually Homura's still human core, deep down, which drives her to want to protect Madoka, or even have her feelings noticed by her. However, I think that Homura was very serious about not only separating Madoka from the Mahou Shoujo world, but also from herself--because, indeed, she sees being a Mahou Shoujo as such a curse that she feels she has no other choice. Quote:
|
|||
|
|
|
 |
|
|
