2009-02-26, 09:44 | Link #3641 |
Hige
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: God only knows
|
Elderly ladies in a car
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving ?" --------------------------------- Friends for many decades Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me .. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?" --------------------------------- Old ladies Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door." --------------------------------- Older Folks 3. An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly." The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?" The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that's red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
__________________
|
2009-02-27, 01:04 | Link #3644 |
Gundam Boobs and Boom FTW
Join Date: Dec 2005
|
An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to get him to the emergency room.
After what seemed like a very long wait, the ER Doctor appeared, wearing his scrubs and a long face. Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid he is brain-dead, but his heart is still beating." "Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks with shock! "We've never had a Republican in the family before!" |
2009-02-28, 10:56 | Link #3651 |
Gundam Boobs and Boom FTW
Join Date: Dec 2005
|
As you may know, Ben & Jerry created the "Yes Pecan!" ice cream flavor for Obama. They also asked for suggestions from the public for a George Bush flavor. Here are some of their favorite responses:
Grape Depression The Housing Crunch Abu Grape Cluster Fudge Nut'n Accomplished Iraqi Road Chock 'n Awe Impeach Cobbler Guantanmallow ImPeachmint Heck-of-a-Job-Brownie! Cookie D'oh! Nougalar Proliferation Death by Chocolate and Torture Chocolate Chip On My Shoulder Credit Crunch Mission Pecanplished Country Pumpkin Caramel Preemptive Stripe I Broke the Law and am Responsible for the Deaths of Thousands...... With nuts |
2009-02-28, 22:28 | Link #3654 |
Senior Member
Author
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Philippines
Age: 47
|
Dunno if it's right to be posted here or at the general anime discussion section. Picked this up at Japanator while browsing. It maybe a least two years old but it's probably the most stoned anime dubbing I ever heard
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcINhIjAxUA
__________________
|
2009-02-28, 22:56 | Link #3655 | |
Paparazzi
Join Date: Mar 2008
Age: 41
|
Quote:
I first though that was a joke... |
|
2009-02-28, 23:18 | Link #3656 | |
Senior Member
Author
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Philippines
Age: 47
|
Quote:
By the way, it turned out that a defunct Agapio "Racing Team" was responsible for that bonged-out Takeru. http://koti.mbnet.fi/wheany/agapio/english.php http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agapio_Racing_Team
__________________
Last edited by sa547; 2009-03-01 at 12:58. |
|
2009-03-02, 10:34 | Link #3658 |
Gundam Boobs and Boom FTW
Join Date: Dec 2005
|
Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'
80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady. 'Mrs. Neely? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?' 'I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly. 'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?' 'Ninety-eight,' she replied. 'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?' The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, 'I outlived the bitches!' |
2009-03-02, 10:48 | Link #3659 | |
Senior Member
Author
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Philippines
Age: 47
|
Quote:
__________________
|
|
Tags |
humor |
|
|