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Old 2007-03-15, 22:05   Link #741
Red Herring
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Here are some funny 300 pics. They should be ok in this thread...






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Old 2007-03-16, 16:31   Link #742
Spectacular_Insanity
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random images











I am so bored, lol.
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Old 2007-03-17, 16:57   Link #743
Spectacular_Insanity
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Office Policy

-->Insert standard Spectacular_Insanity disclaimer here

Dress Code:

1. You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:

1. This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers.

2. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements.

3. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon.

4. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:

1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls.

2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken.

3. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.

4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management
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Old 2007-03-17, 18:39   Link #744
Knightmare213
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@Spectacular_Insanity: You know, if that was the rule of a real company, I'd sue them in a heartbeat for "crimes against employees."

BTW, do you happen to have a smaller version of OH SNAP! gif? I think it's time for me to change my avatar.
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Old 2007-03-18, 00:19   Link #745
Aoie_Emesai
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Spectacular_Insanity - hahaha, I had a great time reading that. 10/10 ^_^

Knightmare213 - you should be able to resize it and not lose much quality at all.
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Old 2007-03-18, 04:42   Link #746
shiro83
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What is love?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZqPHM19lU6A
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Old 2007-03-18, 05:42   Link #747
aohige
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Well, here's an old joke in Japan.
No idea where it originated from, but it's been around for years.

At a certain university, the professor asks female student A a question.
"What certain part of the body grows to six times the original size in certain condition."

The student A blushes, and replies "This is not an appropriate question. I'm going to report this to the school for harrasment."

The professor looks calm, and repeats the same question to student B.
Female student B answers the question easily.
"The pupil of the eye. In the dark, it grows to approximately six times the original size."

Professor answers "That is correct, Ms. B. And I three things to say to Ms. A."
"One, pay attention in class."
"Two, get your mind out of the gutter."
"And three, if you REALLY think it grows to six times the original size, one day, you will truely be dissapointed."

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Old 2007-03-18, 05:48   Link #748
shiro83
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Haha... a good one, aohige.
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Old 2007-03-18, 09:28   Link #749
KaWaitress
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I've found something pretty amusing the other day and thought i should post it, although some of it might be offensive ^_~

Quote:
My wonderful girlfriend and I have been together for over a year now and decided to get married

It was just one little thing that bothered me, her beautiful little sister. She was 22, with tight shorts and usually without a bra. When I was around she'd often bend over, and I always saw more more than I wished of her private parts. She must have been aware, because she never did that around anyone else.

One day the little sister called me and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was all alone when I came, and silently whispered she had feelings for me that she couldn't get over.
She said, she wanted to have sex with me just once before I get married to her sister.

I was in shock and didn't know how to reply, or respond. "I'll walk up to the bed room, come up if you like"

I was shocked while watching her walk upstairs. While at the top of the stairs she tossed her panties down to me. I stood there for a while, then I decided to turn around and walk straight to the main door.
I opened the door and walked to my car.

While walking towards my car I could see my family in-law applauding.
With tears in his eyes my father in-law walked towards me to hug me.
"We're happy that you passed our little test, we couldn't wish for a better husband for our daughter, welcome to the family"

The moral of the story: Always have condoms in the car
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Old 2007-03-18, 15:41   Link #750
Spectacular_Insanity
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@ aohige: I've heard that before, but it's still funny!
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Old 2007-03-18, 17:01   Link #751
Spectacular_Insanity
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This is a pretty funny video from glumbert.com:

Nations of the World
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Old 2007-03-19, 11:59   Link #752
Spectacular_Insanity
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How to Destroy the Earth

Ridiculously funny technical analysis of how we can destroy the planet.

My favorite method:

Decayed
You will need: all-surpassing patience

Method: If the Big Crunch doesn't happen, and the Big Rip doesn't happen either, then we come back to the third option: the Big Chill. For this, the universe will just expand, forever. The laws of thermodynamics take over. Every galaxy becomes isolated from its neighbours. All the stars burn out. Everything gets colder until it's all the same temperature. And after that, nothing ever changes in the universe. For eternity.

A lot can happen in an eternity. Protons, for example, while incredibly stable, are believed to eventually decay like any other particle. So simply wait for a period of time of the order of 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years, and roughly half of the constituent particles of Earth will have decayed into positrons and pions. If that's still too much like a planet for you, you could wait for another 1036 years, leaving only a quarter of the original Earth. Or wait even longer. Eventually there will be as little of Earth left as you wish.

Earth's final resting place: Miscellaneous positrons and gamma radiation (pions decay almost instantly into gamma ray photons) scattered thinly across the entire universe.

Comments: It's interesting to compare this method with the one right at the top (total existence failure). What we are essentially doing here is almost exactly the same thing, only instead of expecting every particle to disappear at once, we are waiting patiently for a significant proportion of them to disappear, one at a time, over the course of an unimaginable period of time. Essentially we've come full circle. The scientific theories involved are the same, it's just the time scale being considered which changes the feasibility rating from "astoundingly improbable" to:

Feasibility rating: 9/10. If all else fails, this one would be essentially unstoppable...

Source: This method suggested by Joseph Verock.
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Old 2007-03-19, 15:02   Link #753
monir
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spectacular_Insanity View Post
How to Destroy the Earth

Ridiculously funny technical analysis of how we can destroy the planet.

My favorite method:........................................... ...............
Give Time Like Infinity by Stephen Baxter a read for details on proton decay if you haven't already, that is. We humans aren't simply capable of thinking in such a timescale. A mere century is too much, let alone measuring times in 10^(put your 2 digit number).

And for my own meek contribution, I present you a case of a: Bad Hairday

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Old 2007-03-19, 15:28   Link #754
rooboy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spectacular_Insanity View Post
This is a pretty funny video from glumbert.com:

Nations of the World
I loved that entire series on Animaniacs - (they also did some others after that one was so popular). Here's the animated version. Though when he does it live that's sort of more impressive because he doesn't get the breathing breaks that the music allowed him in the original version.

Wakko doing the 50 US states and capitals.

The US Presidents.

And the related Pinky and the Brain singing the parts of the brain.
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Old 2007-03-20, 23:27   Link #755
kiba122
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the 2 best parts were when nelson just jumped off the castel and when the flung snowball at them but still f-in weird
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Old 2007-03-26, 00:47   Link #756
Aoie_Emesai
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More funny pictures and suches. Will fill as i find them. Don't take any offence to some of them. (for tonight that is)

Spoiler:


Now what were these called again? These kind of images? My professor showed me a site once of them, but i lost the address.
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Old 2007-03-26, 14:21   Link #757
crall
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Ever wanted to learn Swedish in fun way? Here's your chance! Well, you won't actually learn anything, but you'll most likely get a good laugh.

I'm guessing that those who don't understand any Swedish at all, basically everyone here, will enjoy lessons 2, 3 and 5 (especially 5) the most. Oh, by the way:

Warning! May contain mature language (all lessons) and images (lesson 2).

Lesson 1 - Homographs (funny)

Lesson 2 - Inflections and putting spaces where they don't belong (very funny)

Lesson 3 - "Something stranger" (very funny)

Lesson 4 (funny)

Lesson 5 - Tongue twisters (hilarious)

I feel sorry for the poor Englishman, but at least he's having fun.
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Old 2007-03-30, 11:01   Link #758
Aoie_Emesai
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More funny Japanese Videos. I found this one to be quite hilarious, espicially the extra large snowball and boulder parts. ^_^

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/491522/funny
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Old 2007-03-30, 12:29   Link #759
Kensuke
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aoie_Emesai View Post
More funny Japanese Videos. I found this one to be quite hilarious, espicially the extra large snowball and boulder parts. ^_^

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/491522/funny
I lol'd so hard.
Funniest clip was when the guy turns around corner with bicycle. "OH SHI-"
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Old 2007-03-30, 16:32   Link #760
aohige
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Rockman (Megaman) and co does the Haruhi dance
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