Puns! And perhaps other cleverly worded delights

[oompa loompa]

To start off, I did a quick search of the general chat form ( I searched for puns in titles), and couldn't find anything similar. I suppose we do have a laugh a day thread, but I think this is a little different. If the mods find this thread redundant, I apologize in advance.

Anyways.

You know what makes my day? A good pun in a sentence. Nothing says clean, honest fun like a good pun. Except the inappropriate puns, but we'll dig ourselves out of that hole when we get there. So, post some clever/funny puns! If you find some other extremely cleverly worded, or just awesome sounding sentence or phrase post it as well! (Someone who knows what they're talking about might be able to categorize what might go in here better)

I'll start with some oldies but goldies:

Einstein formulated a theory on space, and it was about time too.

*applause* *applause*

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

*Knee slapper!*

Go for it!

[walkofshane]

I tried to think of English puns but can't remember any ^^;
Here's a good Japanese one:
I drive a car without an engine. It's called a しずカー shizukaa.
Shizuka = quiet
kaa = Japanization of "car" (instead of the proper word kuruma)

[larethian]

^ snicker

The frog goes home (Kaeru ga kaeru)

[TinyRedLeaf]

I heard the call of nature and took a stroll through the morning wood.

[Magin]

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

I wondered by the ball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

... all of these stolen off reddit, where there's an entire sub-reddit for puns.

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by TinyRedLeaf

I heard the call of nature and took a stroll through the morning wood.

Whatever perverted joke inside your head is going to keep us hand-tied for cleaning.