Can a Man and a Women be just friends?

[Lissa]

It generally depends on the personality of the person, or the situation between the two.

Are they one to take things seriously often? In that case, joking and flirting around can turn it from a friendship to something different, which may not bode well. But if they are one with a sense of humor and you communicate and understand each other, then it takes the complicated out of it a lot of times. As long as you keep things plain and clear. If you do not make a big deal out of things then generally it won't be, but if you do and it is a big deal, then joking and flirting then do become so. You just have to make sure that those you do it with are clear on how things really are. Communication is also key here.

I myself am a girl with only ONE chick friend and the rest are all guys. If you open your mouth and say, 'hey, I am not looking for a relationship,' it's pretty clear. And if you're going to flirt after saying that, you have to add, 'my flirting is not serious and it is only to joke.' Then again, if you are going to say that you are not looking for a relationship, it's best to skip flirting entirely, seeing how that is rather self-contradictory. It's best to stick with that sort of thing with those that you are comfortable enough with that you know that they will only take it with a grain of salt, from either party, chick or dude.

It can work.

[Spectacular_Insanity]

Originally Posted by Mystique

Sorry, I didn't catch this earlier, otherwise would have embedded into my last reply. I kinda grinned when I read your post.

I would say it's either a cultural difference or just a different set of friends we have, but stereotyping without ill intent (to put someone down or deny them an opportunity) doesn't carry offence to me, because to a degree there would be some truth. If someone came up to me trying to figure out which kind of meat they should cook for a meal and asks 'Do you like chicken?' or 'So chicken should be fine for you,' I'd probably reply Ali G style 'why? Is it coz I is black?'
It's often a source of comedy, there are people intelligent enough not to limit their belief within it and it's those who I may use more around. Within a debate like this, it's the same pinch of salt I'm giving to everyone on this forum, you're all intelligent to know better, however it seems people are still taking offence. None was intended from my end, but that doesn't mean I'll refrain from totally using it to summarise a point or common factor within our society and world.
If a stereotype is used against me, especially as a woman, if it's true, I concede.
If it's not true, I tell them otherwise.
I've had bitter guys at me ask about the high maintenance thing with girls, I typically scratch my head and end up breaking the stereotype just by being me, but I don't take offence to them saying that because sadly it is based on truth that is probably more common than I realise.
The offence comes with me when they don't listen to the exception and remain closed minded and bound by it, that's when it becomes a problem.

Maybe, but saying such things to their face is never a good thing. Thinking that girls are high maintenance (for instance) and saying right out that "all girls are high maintenance" is completely different. I'm afraid your "chicken" example doesn't hold for relationships, especially since the example you used isn't analogous at all, anyway. And if your boyfriend (again, I'm speaking hypothetically) would ever say anything like that in front of you, I would say he's not a very considerate person. I mean, anyone that considers a stereotype before taking into account the person in front of them is a fool.

[Vexx]

Mmmmmm, having a Carlos Mencia moment here reading the posts about stereotypes and such .....

(for me, he's like a descendant of Don Rickles back when Don didn't apologize for his act)

[Mystique]

Originally Posted by Vexx

Mmmmmm, having a Carlos Mencia moment here reading the posts about stereotypes and such .....

(for me, he's like a descendant of Don Rickles back when Don didn't apologize for his act)

*points to the quotes under her sig*
He was idling around my mind while i wrote my post to be honest.
When i first discovered him back in 2006, he was like a breath of fresh air to me.
"someone's who's just as frank, doesn't sugar coat and just tosses the truth completely raw and out in the open, I think I'm in love" xD

He's not everyone's cup of tea, that much I understand so I wouldn't recommend him to Spectacular_Insanity, for example, maybe it appeals to my British dry sense of humour

Originally Posted by Spectacular_Insanity

Maybe, but saying such things to their face is never a good thing. Thinking that girls are high maintenance (for instance) and saying right out that "all girls are high maintenance" is completely different. I'm afraid your "chicken" example doesn't hold for relationships, especially since the example you used isn't analogous at all, anyway..... I mean, anyone that considers a stereotype before taking into account the person in front of them is a fool.

No, that's just human nature in my opinion.
We all judge strangers that we cross on the streets, in town, in public places based on our appearance, it's the only form of information we have to make a quick assumption about a person (first impressions) before approaching them to find out more. Stereotypes are generally used to make those decisions, whether its a conscious thought or not, otherwise I doubt that interview ettiquette would be so crucial. (As one example)
As for the chicken example, it wasn't to link directly to relationships, but to give a reason of how stereotypes are used without malice, in this case, an example of race. People can still take offence for having heard something like that if they feel the same as you 'saying it to their face isn't nice' or may have had experienced racism, so yes it is risky to use, I'll admit that much. Offline has the luxury of vocal tone and facial expression, so it can convey if it's meant to be taken in jest, thus others like me may react differently and take most with a pinch of salt.

To say that 'thinking an idea' and 'saying it out loud' are completely different, would give me ammo for my arguement of referring to stereotypes while knowing that there are exceptions to the rule, thus there's no need to get worked up.
On the other hand, those who are constantly vocal *coughsoccermomscough* tend to wholly believe what they preach without researching much, just remain wholly bound within the limits of stereotypes.


Depends on the situation, but anyways pardon my tangentness, feel me to bug me on my profile if you wanna continue.

And if your boyfriend (again, I'm speaking hypothetically) would ever say anything like that in front of you, I would say he's not a very considerate person.

I guess you're just a nicer person than me and will make a girl happy someday as a bf. ^^
(assuming that you're male ofc....)

[ria1414]

Men and women can be friends, but it depends on the man. It may be harder for a man to be friends with a physically beautiful woman, but if that man has other women friends in his life, he'll know how to take his time with a woman that he's really attracted to. If a man lacks in friends period (male or female), or just sees women as sex objects, then he'll probably try to hit on any thing wearing a skirt.

[Cut-Tongue]

Yes, they can. If you think otherwise you're probably overthinking things.

edit: this coming from a guy who would chase all sorts of tail when he was younger, i woulda done anything passable and receptive =)

[Tenken's Smile]

Can a Man and a Women be Just Friends?

Have you never had friends of the opposite sex?

[Mr Bland]

Ah, such an interesting and controversial topic. The difference between the views of opposite sex is a toughie! :P

Well, I'm a guy, (Hope you inferred by the 'Mr' in my name...) and I have plenty of friends that are female. I've never had a relationship before (so ronery ._.) but many of the girls I am friends with I am attracted to. Even though some of them may have boyfriends, or may not be attracted to me, I am still friends. And I do also have female friends I am not attracted to. So overall, I think it is entirely possible for there to be a friendship between a man and a woman with nothing more. Just friendly behavior toward each other.

[Kyero Fox]

Uh, yes why would anyone say no?

no offence but the people who said no ... think again.

[MeoTwister5]

Sometimes I think it's just popular media that perpetuates the notion that male-female relations cannot be anything less than romantic.

Considering that all my man-woman relations are near purely platonic... yes they can just be friends.

[katiemirmo]

Yes..I think they can be..
LOL..

[SOGESNAKE]

Sure, why not? I don't see anything wrong with it.

[Siddyus]

Of course they could. I've seen a lot of similar cases such as that. Almost everyone of my guy friends have girl-friends. But not everybody can do it. Especially me. Since, I will always take my friendships with girls over the edge and then relationship. So I have no girl-friends. Just some acquaintances. If i'll have a girl-friend she'll eventually would become my girlfriend. lol

[MrNugget]

Well, I met this girl who I've known for a few years and became really close. After high school ended I guess I wanted more. I got the dreaded response, I was in the "Friend zone" for her and knew I would ALWAYS be there, so I did what I had to do an ended the friendship because I can't take it . Also, she didn't care the friendship was ended.

So, what would you guys or girls do if you were in my position?
Just wondering :P.

Is it best to leave or stay friends?

[Narona]

Your question can easily fit in this thread: Can a Man and a Women be just friends?

[Nightbat®]

When a girl you like wants to be 'just friends'

...run Forrest! Run!

[Daniel E.]

Originally Posted by MrNugget

Is it best to leave or stay friends?

That would be your call in the end.

A couple of years ago I went through the same scenario but I did not end our friendship, and I can honestly say that I am quite happy I didn't.

One must always come to accept that not all relationships (of all kind, btw) will go as we want, and we will often be forced to adapt to a new "scenario" when things change around those we care or love. It works the other way around too.

Originally Posted by MrNugget

Also, she didn't care the friendship was ended.

Sorry to say but..... I wouldn't have cared either. After all, you walked away the moment things didn't go the way you wanted.

[HayashiTakara]

Originally Posted by MrNugget

Well, I met this girl who I've known for a few years and became really close. After high school ended I guess I wanted more. I got the dreaded response, I was in the "Friend zone" for her and knew I would ALWAYS be there, so I did what I had to do an ended the friendship because I can't take it . Also, she didn't care the friendship was ended.

So, what would you guys or girls do if you were in my position?
Just wondering :P.

Is it best to leave or stay friends?

When you befriend a girl, you have to make your priorities clear from the beginning. Either you wanna tap that ass or be just friends. If you fall into the friend zone, (just throwing numbers) chances are she'll never see you as a possible boyfriend. Girls are crazy like that.

[Narona]

Originally Posted by Daniel E.

Sorry to say but..... I wouldn't have cared either. After all, you walked away the moment things didn't go the way you wanted.

Exactly, because it sounds like an Ultimatum. It's like saying "become my GF or I don't want to see you again".

I would have done the same things as this girl. It's not the girl's problem.

[MrNugget]

Originally Posted by Narona

Exactly, because it sounds like an Ultimatum. It's like saying "become my GF or I don't want to see you again".

I would have done the same things as this girl. It's not the girl's problem.

Well, I agree with you guys, but even when we were friends, she knew I liked her but I stayed friends with her and tried to act normal. I did try my best to be her friend, but she kept ignoring me and never treated me like a friend. I would never have thought I would be the type of guy to do that to a girl but she never did show any signs of care even for friendship. She's a nice person and always followed me whenever she was bored, and i listen to her when she talks but as soon as i talk i get ignored. It hurt to be with her for years because I didn't feel there was even friendship to begin with, it felt as though I was being used so I thought it'd be best to leave since the girl wouldn't care either way.

I can't really explain the whole story, it'd take long but my friends agreed that what I did was the right thing :S.