AnimeSuki Forums

laphingman · 2006-08-15, 07:40

I know that some of you may not like me but anyway..... soon i will have a Fan-Fic out in about two days. i actually hope people will like it.

The name of the story i will write is going to be (Wishes)

Asakura_Y0h · 2007-07-20, 06:13

Not sure why you started your thread with some of us not liking you... but ermmm.... since you're writing fanfiction... do share... Not many of those on animesuki and you sharing it is simply awesome....

chison · 2007-07-20, 13:54

usually people better talk some of of the idea ,
if you intoduce some plot and keyword will be fary OK,
but 2 days is nothing yet everything,we have no idea who you are

so...better do that next time ?or today?

laphingman · 2007-12-11, 08:35

I know that some people dont like me but i really dont care about that, besides if they dont like me that there choice. But anyway, the story is a romance/action bit. Its held in a post-apocalyptic Japan and the main charachter is a guy

. So for those people who dont know me, my story will be out tomarrow after some last minute changes. See ya tomarrow. Oh and thanks Asakura_Y0h for your commment

The Chaos · 2007-12-11, 08:53

laphingman....I don't Know you.... So I don't hate you Or like you Yet....

But I want to read your Story....I hope there little Romance In The story

Zero Shinohara · 2007-12-11, 09:11

There's a difference between Fanfiction and a original story, just to point that out. A Fanfic is mostly always based and inspired by an existing story that the author is interested in. A original story of your own is built from the ground up and has little-to-nothing to do with any existing work.

Hoping to see your piece, although I don't really agree with creating a topic before you're ready to post it fully. Not only it's kind of unethical, it also puts a bit more pressure on yourself. It's like having a deadline at work, except you aren't gaining anything for that.

The Chaos · 2007-12-11, 09:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zero Shinohara

There's a difference between Fan fiction and a original story, just to point that out. A Fanfic is mostly always based and inspired by an existing story that the author is interested in. A original story of your own is built from the ground up and has little-to-nothing to do with any existing work.

So It's like That..I wondered What the Meaning Of it...Fan fiction
Thanks for Let me know...

Zero Shinohara · 2007-12-11, 09:37

@The Chaos:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fan_fiction

Wikipedia for the win.

Curious enough, I've always thought the concept of fanfics was actually pretty recent historically. Reading from that, looks like I'm dead wrong.

The Chaos · 2007-12-11, 09:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zero Shinohara

@The Chaos:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fan_fiction

Wikipedia for the win.

Curious enough, I've always thought the concept of fanfics was actually pretty recent historically. Reading from that, looks like I'm dead wrong.

Thank You again ...Wikipedia Is The best In every Thing..

Kristen · 2007-12-11, 18:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zero Shinohara

There's a difference between Fanfiction and a original story, just to point that out. A Fanfic is mostly always based and inspired by an existing story that the author is interested in. A original story of your own is built from the ground up and has little-to-nothing to do with any existing work.

Hoping to see your piece, although I don't really agree with creating a topic before you're ready to post it fully. Not only it's kind of unethical, it also puts a bit more pressure on yourself. It's like having a deadline at work, except you aren't gaining anything for that.

From my own experiances in writing a story that isn't finished yet (CnY is finished, just needs some tweaking), posting a deadline does help. I found when I tried to write something without a deadline, I would not finish the work. And if I tried to write with a deadline and missed the deadline, it would tend to be very hard to finish the story. But you are right in that it is a bit unethical.

But it's true. If this is a story of your own, it's original fiction. If it has characters or is set in a world similar to another author's work, it's fan fiction. From what I've heard, this sounds like an original fiction.

laphingman · 2007-12-12, 08:39

Well i thank you for all your criticism (good or bad)

but i have more info for all who are wondering about it. The name that i had posted yesterday was one of thoses temporary names that some writers used. The name and show/movie that the story is around is "Zaion: I wish you were here". It follows the end of the story but the M35 virus is still there and growing. And due to my computer screwing up, the story is in a different format then what the computers at my schools will accept . So if you people can wait till tomarrow, i will get it to you asap. Also the new title is Zaion: New Genesis

laphingman · 2007-12-17, 09:08

The First Chapter is here!!! I hope you enjoy it. Oh and mind the paragraph style

Female Main Character: Ai
Male Main Character: Yuuji

Zaion Chapter 0- New Genesis

As I walked outside of my two story house and inhaled deeply. I slowly walked out into my yard and began to pick up what was left of my car out of my front lawn. I am, along with my wife Ai ,the last of our family's and of many survivors of a war that was caused by one stupid mutation in my employers meeting room.

But as my organization became more influential in more of the military fields, they created some of the “best military weapons” from humans that have recently recruited. But to make on thing clear, they didn’t make weapons or solders but instead they used humans to make nano/M35b infested humans. Mechanical humans that have only one mission. “To kill all humans that don't agree with their masters orders.” decided to live with my wife and kid of 3 years and move to the countryside right outside the city of Tokyo. But ten years after we had settled down and finally had a simple life, my former employers sent those things to my house and demanded me to come take control of the company since the current leader had died..

I declined and sent their disfigured henchmen in a box, broken, mangled and dead . A year after I had so rudely declined their invitation, they began to attack every one on the east coast of Japan. We were their first targets. They killed my teenage girl, Ayane. After the attack on my small household, Ai and I made a decision to end the company's rain over the east side of Japan. We spent year after year until now, January 10, 2098, to find enough people who did not want the monsters running Japan. We tried almost everything to gain more and more people to fight but this the reputation that I held as a original N.E.O., I was used to being rejected.

I rallied the people that were willing to fight for the freedom of the country of Japan and began the long trek back to Tokyo. This was going to be one of the most memorable fights for freedom ever seen. “I just hope that I can stay alive long enough to see it though.” I said as I looked upon my daughters grave and cried.

OH BTW Ill put up the next one in two weeks

Kristen · 2007-12-17, 13:03

Well, if you're looking for criticism, I included my own harsh criticism in a spoiler. If not, good story!

Spoiler for Criticism:

laphingman · 2007-12-18, 09:03

I thank you for your criticism. It helps that writers get the negative parts of their storys. But to tell you the truth I had to get it out before i had to move out of my house. So..... Thank you for the criticism again and I'll try to get the next one to be a little better then the last. Oh and i have to move the date for the next chapter for 3 weeks instead of 2 weeks due to me moveing.

laphingman · 2008-01-07, 10:17

I have bad news, I was robbed. They took my stuff and I am out of a way to type things, even at the school.

2006-08-15, 07:40	Link #1
laphingman Story writer for hire Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In Texas	I know that some of you may not like me but anyway..... soon i will have a Fan-Fic out in about two days. i actually hope people will like it. The name of the story i will write is going to be (Wishes) Last edited by NightWish; 2007-07-20 at 14:01.

2007-12-11, 08:35	Link #4
laphingman Story writer for hire Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In Texas	Fan-fic details I know that some people dont like me but i really dont care about that, besides if they dont like me that there choice. But anyway, the story is a romance/action bit. Its held in a post-apocalyptic Japan and the main charachter is a guy . So for those people who dont know me, my story will be out tomarrow after some last minute changes. See ya tomarrow. Oh and thanks Asakura_Y0h for your commment Last edited by laphingman; 2007-12-11 at 08:37. Reason: n/a

2007-12-11, 08:53	Link #5
The Chaos ǾΝΈ ΡЇΈÇΈ is the Best !! Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: away from you Age: 35	laphingman....I don't Know you.... So I don't hate you Or like you Yet.... But I want to read your Story....I hope there little Romance In The story __________________ Last edited by The Chaos; 2007-12-11 at 09:44. Reason: Bad Writting

2007-12-11, 09:11	Link #6
Zero Shinohara I'll keep walking. Artist Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: This is FLORIDAAAAAAaaa Age: 37	There's a difference between Fanfiction and a original story, just to point that out. A Fanfic is mostly always based and inspired by an existing story that the author is interested in. A original story of your own is built from the ground up and has little-to-nothing to do with any existing work. Hoping to see your piece, although I don't really agree with creating a topic before you're ready to post it fully. Not only it's kind of unethical, it also puts a bit more pressure on yourself. It's like having a deadline at work, except you aren't gaining anything for that. __________________ Sometimes I look back and think to myself, "how the hell did I manage to screw this up?"

2007-12-11, 09:37	Link #8
Zero Shinohara I'll keep walking. Artist Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: This is FLORIDAAAAAAaaa Age: 37	@The Chaos: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fan_fiction Wikipedia for the win. Curious enough, I've always thought the concept of fanfics was actually pretty recent historically. Reading from that, looks like I'm dead wrong. __________________ Sometimes I look back and think to myself, "how the hell did I manage to screw this up?"

2007-07-20, 06:13	Link #2
Asakura_Y0h little black butterfly Join Date: Nov 2003 Age: 42	Not sure why you started your thread with some of us not liking you... but ermmm.... since you're writing fanfiction... do share... Not many of those on animesuki and you sharing it is simply awesome....

2007-07-20, 13:54	Link #3
chison GSNMaSter Artist Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Sheffield Age: 38	usually people better talk some of of the idea , if you intoduce some plot and keyword will be fary OK, but 2 days is nothing yet everything,we have no idea who you are so...better do that next time ?or today?

2007-12-12, 08:39	Link #11
laphingman Story writer for hire Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In Texas	Well i thank you for all your criticism (good or bad) but i have more info for all who are wondering about it. The name that i had posted yesterday was one of thoses temporary names that some writers used. The name and show/movie that the story is around is "Zaion: I wish you were here". It follows the end of the story but the M35 virus is still there and growing. And due to my computer screwing up, the story is in a different format then what the computers at my schools will accept . So if you people can wait till tomarrow, i will get it to you asap. Also the new title is Zaion: New Genesis

2007-12-17, 09:08	Link #12
laphingman Story writer for hire Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In Texas	Zaion:New Genesis Chapter 0 The First Chapter is here!!! I hope you enjoy it. Oh and mind the paragraph style Female Main Character: Ai Male Main Character: Yuuji Zaion Chapter 0- New Genesis As I walked outside of my two story house and inhaled deeply. I slowly walked out into my yard and began to pick up what was left of my car out of my front lawn. I am, along with my wife Ai ,the last of our family's and of many survivors of a war that was caused by one stupid mutation in my employers meeting room. But as my organization became more influential in more of the military fields, they created some of the “best military weapons” from humans that have recently recruited. But to make on thing clear, they didn’t make weapons or solders but instead they used humans to make nano/M35b infested humans. Mechanical humans that have only one mission. “To kill all humans that don't agree with their masters orders.” decided to live with my wife and kid of 3 years and move to the countryside right outside the city of Tokyo. But ten years after we had settled down and finally had a simple life, my former employers sent those things to my house and demanded me to come take control of the company since the current leader had died.. I declined and sent their disfigured henchmen in a box, broken, mangled and dead . A year after I had so rudely declined their invitation, they began to attack every one on the east coast of Japan. We were their first targets. They killed my teenage girl, Ayane. After the attack on my small household, Ai and I made a decision to end the company's rain over the east side of Japan. We spent year after year until now, January 10, 2098, to find enough people who did not want the monsters running Japan. We tried almost everything to gain more and more people to fight but this the reputation that I held as a original N.E.O., I was used to being rejected. I rallied the people that were willing to fight for the freedom of the country of Japan and began the long trek back to Tokyo. This was going to be one of the most memorable fights for freedom ever seen. “I just hope that I can stay alive long enough to see it though.” I said as I looked upon my daughters grave and cried. OH BTW Ill put up the next one in two weeks Last edited by laphingman; 2007-12-17 at 10:05. Reason: Wrong date

2007-12-17, 13:03	Link #13
Kristen Senior Member Author Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Virginia Tech	Well, if you're looking for criticism, I included my own harsh criticism in a spoiler. If not, good story! Spoiler for Criticism: Alright, here are a whole bunch of things I noticed: First, you need to work on showing the story, instead of telling. Right now, I feel like I'm reading a history textbook instead of a fiction. You just hit us straight up with facts of what happened. "Bob twirled his pencil in class during another long day" is much better than "Bob was bored" Second, you tend to be very jumpy. Each paragraph is an entirely new idea, rather than flowing and transitioning. Third, it is rather confusing to read. Here are the nitpicks: 1. "As I walked outside of my two story house and inhaled deeply." Either a fragment, or you want "I" instead of "and" 2. "Mechanical humans that have only one mission. “To kill all humans that don't agree with their masters orders.”" Change mission. to mission: 3. "decided to live with my wife and kid of 3 years and move to the countryside right outside the city of Tokyo." Missing the "I" to start the sentance. 4. "Ai and I made a decision to end the company's rain over the east side of Japan." Rain falls on the ground. Reign is the word you're looking for. __________________

2007-12-18, 09:03	Link #14
laphingman Story writer for hire Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In Texas	criticism I thank you for your criticism. It helps that writers get the negative parts of their storys. But to tell you the truth I had to get it out before i had to move out of my house. So..... Thank you for the criticism again and I'll try to get the next one to be a little better then the last. Oh and i have to move the date for the next chapter for 3 weeks instead of 2 weeks due to me moveing.

2008-01-07, 10:17	Link #15
laphingman Story writer for hire Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In Texas	Unable to give rest of story I have bad news, I was robbed. They took my stuff and I am out of a way to type things, even at the school.