Infinite Stratos Character Creation and Fanfiction Discussion

[Eratas123]

Well, sane people don't want to meet psychopaths face to face. I'd like to meet Touma and Conan Edogawa.

[agetreme]

When is a character more enjoyable? When he is unique? Or when you think to yourself "I want to meet this person."?

When a character has character development.... enuff said.

it is more fun to see people struggling with themselves (especially if the character is a good guy), ultimately became stronger than before (after the ordeal), more epic fail than before(fail in different areas, implying that he learned the wrong thing, paving way for another development) or just give up in despair (and become a witch monster)

Unique character is fun but the problem is: Unique characters can be a double edge sword, they can be enjoyable, but on the other hand, their quirk might come off as annoying.

As for "I want to meet this person."...... if the "I" is the writer, I think that add points to the Sue-factor.
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Anyway ultimately, it really had to depend on the skill of the writer

In the hand of a poor writer, any character is annoying but in the hand of a skilled writer..... HELL, even a Mary Sue character can become interesting.

[ZeroXSEED]

Actually, the problematic "I" is when you think "I want to be this character" or "This character is idealized version of me" while writing, it's really Stu +30 (most of the time anyway).

[Yachiyo]

I fixed some minor errors.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7486570/...ing_is_Radiant
^
New chapter

[Eratas123]

@ Senpai - Can you see if this is okay?

Spoiler:

The atmosphere was tense. Ichika and Charlotte stood frozen as the small blonde boy’s announcement echoed all over the room.

Ichika took a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding and asked Charles to repeat what he just said. “U-Um, could you say that again?” He asked him, sweat dripping down his face. He had just misheard him, right? There wasn’t any way Charlotte had a child, right?

The blonde boy looked at him again, never letting go of his grip on Charlotte’s waist. “I said she’s my mom.” He gestured to the uncomfortable looking Charlotte.
Ichika shook his head. No, there was something else he said, something that made him doubt the

Charles’ statement even more. “Could you repeat her name again?” He asked him slowly. He was sure he heard something odd about the way he said her name.

Charles looked confusedly at him before looking back at Charlotte. “.....Mom?” He gestured to her. He seemed to think Ichika asked him how he called her rather than her actual name.

“No, that’s not what I- Look, could you please repeat what you said a few seconds ago?” Ichika asked anxiously. He had a feeling he’d regret hearing the answer in some way or another, but he couldn’t just leave it alone.

“I said I found my mommy.” He answered, causing Ichika to sigh in exasperation before trying again.

Charlotte looked nervously between at Ichika and the boy clinging to her waist. Ichika continued to ask questions, yet the child didn’t seem to understand what he was getting at. Come to think of it, she also heard something odd about his announcement earlier

“Um, can you please say my name again? Not what you call me, but the name you said when you found me.” She politely requested him.

He looked confused for a moment before he seemed to realize what Charlotte was asking him. “Oh, you mean the name you the teacher calls you when she talks to you, right? He asked in an excited tone. Charlotte just nodded and hoped this was the right answer. “It’s Charlotte Orimura!”
Charlotte Orimura

Time stopped. Ichika was thankful only he and Charlotte were here right now – Chifuyu having left earlier to keep the other students in line – because he was having the worst breakdown he ever had in his short life.

“T-That’s impossible! Charlotte’s too young to have a kid!” He denied profusely. Strangely enough, he seemed to be ignoring the fact that it was his last name being used instead of hers. Ah, the wonders of the teenage mind.

Charles didn’t seem to find this funny and immediately glared at him. “Don’t make fun of mommy’s age! She’s the execooti- Uh, the chairman of hig- Uh......” He struggled to come up with the words needed, but gave up when he realized he didn’t know them.

While Ichika was having a breakdown of massive proportions, Charlotte tried to calm herself and look at the situation logically. This boy – who, admittedly, did look a lot like her – claimed he was her son. Even more, he had said his last name was Orimura, which could only mean that-

Charlotte’s face instantly blushed bright red as she realized the implications. Did that mean that Ichika and her....No, she was sure she only dreamt of any encounters of that sort and that she was still a pure maiden. Besides, how could she have gotten pregnant without knowing it? It was impossible.

“Mo......mommy! ” She heard a voice mumble.

Charlotte felt her sleeve being tugged and saw the child looking up at her with begging eyes. “Ye-Yes, what is it....” Charlotte stopped herself when she realized she didn’t know his name.

“Can we go somewhere else? I don’t like it here. A lot of people kept pointing at us and yelling. It’s scary,” He shivered slightly and held her hand. Truthfully, half of her felt like picking him up and hugging him and telling him it was going to be alright, but there were other concerns to be worried about right now.

She turned to Ichika and found him on the floor, knees to his chest, and muttering incoherently to himself. “Ichika, we might want to leave before anybody else gets here. I’m not sure if Orimura-sensei can keep everyone calm for too long.” She urged him.

After a few more seconds of muttering, Ichika nodded his head nervously and stood up from the floor. He was about to leave the room with the two of them before he suddenly remembered
something. “Wait, where’s Yuu!?” He looked around in a panic.

“Yuu? Who’s that?” Charlotte asked him. Ichika didn’t reply and quickly searched all over the Cafeteria.

“Yu! Come on, please don’t tell me you’re lost!” He looked under the tables and in the kitchens, but he couldn’t find any trace of the brown haired boy. After a few minutes, he stopped to catch his breath.

“Ichika, who, or what, are you looking for?” Charlotte asked him. She idly felt the kid tighten her grip on his hands and she squeezed back softly in reassurance.

Ichika took a few seconds to catch his breath before replying. “Charles wasn’t alone when I saw him. He was with another kid and I took them here together before everyone started asking questions. He must’ve slipped away while the girls crowded around us....” He answered her.

Charlotte felt herself stiffen as she remembered her own wards from earlier. She’d seen them go into the crowd of girls surrounding Ichika, but she couldn’t find them after the crowd dispersed.

After Charles (That’s what Ichika called him) called her his......mother (She still wasn’t used to thinking of herself like that), she’d forgotten about them almost completely.

“I-Ichika, did you see a couple of little girls while you in the crowd earlier?” She asked him anxiously. She couldn’t believe that she’d forgotten about them till now.

“Little girls? Sorry, I don’t really remember much. All of them kept asking questions at the same time so I couldn’t really get a good look around.” He answered as he stood up straight again.

She was worried he was going to say that. What were they supposed to do now? Finding a kid in a place as large as IS academy was hard enough as it is, but finding three kids? They’d need an entire group searching. “W-Well, we need to find them. Who knows what’ll happen to them if we don’t.”

“But what about...” He didn’t complete his sentence and just pointed at the blonde haired boy clinging to Charlotte’s hand. It wasn’t like they could just take him with them while they went searching for three runaway kids.

[ZeroXSEED]

@ Yachi
Just read the chapter, I'd say the fix is good, at least I can get the grasp of the overall story this time, nice fix. (will review when read them properly)

@Eras
Char sure knew what's to do, true Yamato Nadeshiko style.

Anyway, I just checked WK review... let's say they're making the tragedy and creepiness look hilarious.

[Yachiyo]

Originally Posted by Eratas123

@ Senpai - Can you see if this is okay?

Spoiler:

The atmosphere was tense. Ichika and Charlotte stood frozen as the small blonde boy’s announcement echoed all over the room.

Ichika took a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding and asked Charles to repeat what he just said. “U-Um, could you say that again?” He asked him, sweat dripping down his face. He had just misheard him, right? There wasn’t any way Charlotte had a child, right?

The blonde boy looked at him again, never letting go of his grip on Charlotte’s waist. “I said she’s my mom.” He gestured to the uncomfortable looking Charlotte.
Ichika shook his head. No, there was something else he said, something that made him doubt the

Charles’ statement even more. “Could you repeat her name again?” He asked him slowly. He was sure he heard something odd about the way he said her name.

Charles looked confusedly at him before looking back at Charlotte. “.....Mom?” He gestured to her. He seemed to think Ichika asked him how he called her rather than her actual name.

“No, that’s not what I- Look, could you please repeat what you said a few seconds ago?” Ichika asked anxiously. He had a feeling he’d regret hearing the answer in some way or another, but he couldn’t just leave it alone.

“I said I found my mommy.” He answered, causing Ichika to sigh in exasperation before trying again.

Charlotte looked nervously between at Ichika and the boy clinging to her waist. Ichika continued to ask questions, yet the child didn’t seem to understand what he was getting at. Come to think of it, she also heard something odd about his announcement earlier

“Um, can you please say my name again? Not what you call me, but the name you said when you found me.” She politely requested him.

He looked confused for a moment before he seemed to realize what Charlotte was asking him. “Oh, you mean the name you the teacher calls you when she talks to you, right? He asked in an excited tone. Charlotte just nodded and hoped this was the right answer. “It’s Charlotte Orimura!”
Charlotte Orimura

Time stopped. Ichika was thankful only he and Charlotte were here right now – Chifuyu having left earlier to keep the other students in line – because he was having the worst breakdown he ever had in his short life.

“T-That’s impossible! Charlotte’s too young to have a kid!” He denied profusely. Strangely enough, he seemed to be ignoring the fact that it was his last name being used instead of hers. Ah, the wonders of the teenage mind.

Charles didn’t seem to find this funny and immediately glared at him. “Don’t make fun of mommy’s age! She’s the execooti- Uh, the chairman of hig- Uh......” He struggled to come up with the words needed, but gave up when he realized he didn’t know them.

While Ichika was having a breakdown of massive proportions, Charlotte tried to calm herself and look at the situation logically. This boy – who, admittedly, did look a lot like her – claimed he was her son. Even more, he had said his last name was Orimura, which could only mean that-

Charlotte’s face instantly blushed bright red as she realized the implications. Did that mean that Ichika and her....No, she was sure she only dreamt of any encounters of that sort and that she was still a pure maiden. Besides, how could she have gotten pregnant without knowing it? It was impossible.

“Mo......mommy! ” She heard a voice mumble.

Charlotte felt her sleeve being tugged and saw the child looking up at her with begging eyes. “Ye-Yes, what is it....” Charlotte stopped herself when she realized she didn’t know his name.

“Can we go somewhere else? I don’t like it here. A lot of people kept pointing at us and yelling. It’s scary,” He shivered slightly and held her hand. Truthfully, half of her felt like picking him up and hugging him and telling him it was going to be alright, but there were other concerns to be worried about right now.

She turned to Ichika and found him on the floor, knees to his chest, and muttering incoherently to himself. “Ichika, we might want to leave before anybody else gets here. I’m not sure if Orimura-sensei can keep everyone calm for too long.” She urged him.

After a few more seconds of muttering, Ichika nodded his head nervously and stood up from the floor. He was about to leave the room with the two of them before he suddenly remembered
something. “Wait, where’s Yuu!?” He looked around in a panic.

“Yuu? Who’s that?” Charlotte asked him. Ichika didn’t reply and quickly searched all over the Cafeteria.

“Yu! Come on, please don’t tell me you’re lost!” He looked under the tables and in the kitchens, but he couldn’t find any trace of the brown haired boy. After a few minutes, he stopped to catch his breath.

“Ichika, who, or what, are you looking for?” Charlotte asked him. She idly felt the kid tighten her grip on his hands and she squeezed back softly in reassurance.

Ichika took a few seconds to catch his breath before replying. “Charles wasn’t alone when I saw him. He was with another kid and I took them here together before everyone started asking questions. He must’ve slipped away while the girls crowded around us....” He answered her.

Charlotte felt herself stiffen as she remembered her own wards from earlier. She’d seen them go into the crowd of girls surrounding Ichika, but she couldn’t find them after the crowd dispersed.

After Charles (That’s what Ichika called him) called her his......mother (She still wasn’t used to thinking of herself like that), she’d forgotten about them almost completely.

“I-Ichika, did you see a couple of little girls while you in the crowd earlier?” She asked him anxiously. She couldn’t believe that she’d forgotten about them till now.

“Little girls? Sorry, I don’t really remember much. All of them kept asking questions at the same time so I couldn’t really get a good look around.” He answered as he stood up straight again.

She was worried he was going to say that. What were they supposed to do now? Finding a kid in a place as large as IS academy was hard enough as it is, but finding three kids? They’d need an entire group searching. “W-Well, we need to find them. Who knows what’ll happen to them if we don’t.”

“But what about...” He didn’t complete his sentence and just pointed at the blonde haired boy clinging to Charlotte’s hand. It wasn’t like they could just take him with them while they went searching for three runaway kids.

This is, future imperfect? It's humorous xD
It's like, CHAOS TIME

[Eratas123]

Charlotte became the leader of Dunoa Industries in thefuture and that's why Charles kept trying to say excecutive Whwre do you guys think te other two kids should be?

[Yachiyo]

I see the point of your story Eras.

Story about different future parallel worlds sent in one present reality O.O

I think I'll look forward to this sounds fun

[Eratas123]

Actually, Tabane only wanted to get Houki's kid so she can pair them up. She screwed up and grabbed everyone's instead.

[ZeroXSEED]

Hmmmm....

As expected from Tabane.

[Yachiyo]

Correction, not screwed up, I guess, INTENTIONALLY

[wavehawk]

Originally Posted by Detective-san

The triumphant return and eventual disappearance of wavehawk.

Such misfortune...

I haven't been well lately compounded by the fact that most people I know IRL are morons. Yes it's been a rough start to the year for me, and writing is one of my biggest problems...

[Eratas123]

Where should Charlotte's temporary kids from earlier be? I'm leaning on bugging Kanzashi while she was trying to fix her unit again

@ Yachi - Well, she was genuinely shocked when she found that she har a kid as well.

@ Hawke - Hang in there, I'm rooting for you Hamazu- Sorry, I meant Hawke.

[Yachiyo]

Originally Posted by Eratas123

Where should Charlotte's temporary kids from earlier be? I'm leaning on bugging Kanzashi while she was trying to fix her unit again

@ Yachi - Well, she was genuinely shocked when she found that she har a kid as well.

@ Hawke - Hang in there, I'm rooting for you Hamazu- Sorry, I meant Hawke.

Make Charles mess up with tatenashi more cooler ^_^

I GTG now, see ya later ^^

[Eratas123]

See ya later Any thoughts, Senpai?

[ZeroXSEED]

Naw, story about happy children (except Childhood romance) never been my field.

[Eratas123]

@ Senpai - Well, there is one kid who came from a bad future where the IS ended up causing worldwide catasthrophes. How about that?

[ZeroXSEED]

I thought you said no room for drama :|

[Eratas123]

@ Senpai - No, I said no room for angst He doesn't angst about it and he acts more like the Silent Bob that the quiet angster.