Internet Relations

[klowny]

Originally Posted by Mystique

16... (male i figure) and pessimistic...

yep, sound normalish enough
You're 16 and i guess teens at the current moment are horny rabid rabbits who a/s/l you all and chat random crap for most part in broken english - you're probably jaded of all of that.

However don't let it totally cloud your judgement; two sides to every coin. There are success stories as well as failures, but of course with most things in life, we only remember the bad and forget the good....

i can be both male and female ha ha, and for the horny part i'm pretty much the same as every teen but not desperate to get it on and yes i am what you call me pessimistic i like it better than being optimistic also your words of wisdom hit me right here (in the stomach because now it hurts )

[Seki_yamata]

Originally Posted by klowny

i don't believe in hope because it will never help you with a relationship, also i would never want to meet people from the internet (unless it's a con) most times those are just lies just get in da bed (slang lol) just don't into a crazy a cycle when you get dumped or something similar to that because i seen that happen before (lol)

=) he hasnt even bought up "da bed" yet. lol. im suprised myself. he hasnt asked me to snd him any weirdo pictures. we've talked about our future togeather. not married not kids. but just being togeather so far. hes trying not to rush anything. and it wouldnt hurt me saying that hes shy. but im gona beleive everything he says. until he proves me wrong....or...let say this way...what if he was concerend about the same situation as i am now. not really consernd but seeking advice, and it was him talking to u instead of me...would you tell him the same thing? well, cuz for some reason i feel that you think that i can be the protagonist in this situation. but since this is online...i can be the antagonist too. and thats what happens in these type of relationships. so all you can pretty much have is hope. and trust worthieness. but remember this is something you wouldnt do. and theres two sides to every thing. and im willing to see the good and the bad. and if he ever did anything to break my heart...i would be damaged completely but time heals..i sapose. or not. but i wouldnt just sit there sad for the rest of my life. i would just move on and live. until someone else comes along and tells me what i think is right, then fall in love again.

[Seki_yamata]

Originally Posted by Mystique

16... (male i figure) and pessimistic...

yep, sound normalish enough
You're 16 and i guess teens at the current moment are horny rabid rabbits who a/s/l you all and chat random crap for most part in broken english - you're probably jaded of all of that.

However don't let it totally cloud your judgement; two sides to every coin. There are success stories as well as failures, but of course with most things in life, we only remember the bad and forget the good....

lol. thats what i jst said...i was getting to yours though. =) but is it weird that he isnt doing that. maybe its a side he doesnt want me to notics about him. I wouldnt mind really. its been seven months for crying out loud! and im freiken shy...hes shy..to even bring up anything else close to that....well..maybe we'ev been getting to it. and im not noticing...he gave me a nic name "babe" and i kind of melt everytime he calls me that. and then sometimes he asks me questions but then he says its up to me to awnser and he says "not to get too personal" you know? maybe hes just polite....idk

[Sides]

Originally Posted by Seki_yamata

i must say..that your correct about the whole concept of the computer being a teenagers life these days. I got out of it for a while....when i started talking to him on the phone...(cuz i find his voice fasonating) lol...but we had to downgrade again. i gues in these situations, the only thing you have to have is hope and faith. and trustworthieness. when you really meet the person and most of the things they told you are true then youve got it good. but if not. and the person was the complete oposite i would never trust a soul in my life ever again. so rite now id rather take my chanses...and yeah ...i have alot of flaws, hes seen them...(not in looks) but the things i do. (not really seeeeen them but he asks me questions about y i do the things i do)

Well you have two choices. Either keep the relation as it is and never meet in person or meet up. The behavouir of people behind a screen is always different than meeting a person direct. The thing is maybe you'll get really disappointed if you meet him in reality, so why not just leave it as it as is. The problem I see is that your connection with him is too deep, that you can get into a real relation with him. Other thing is don't confuse friendship with something else. Really someone, or both, can get really hurt, trust me i just burned my paws few weeks back (and i'm 100% sure it wasn't my fault, ok 95%).

[klowny]

so many things i can say but too lazy to type but anyway lets see if it goes all according to plan people on the internet even if they tell you everyone will always appear differently from what you heard of that person

[Seki_yamata]

Originally Posted by klowny

so many things i can say but i will hold back but anyway lets see if it goes all according to plan people on the internet even if they tell you everyone will always appear differently from what you heard of that person

lol. i wanna know!!!! =)

[Seki_yamata]

Originally Posted by Sides

Well you have two choices. Either keep the relation as it is and never meet in person or meet up. The behavouir of people behind a screen is always different than meeting a person direct. The thing is maybe you'll get really disappointed if you meet him in reality, so why not just leave it as it as is. The problem I see is that your connection with him is too deep, that you can get into a real relation with him. Other thing is don't confuse friendship with something else. Really someone, or both, can get really hurt, trust me i just burned my paws few weeks back (and i'm 100% sure it wasn't my fault, ok 95%).

Well, i want to meet him. and if hes anything what i thought we is rite now then thats a good thing...if hes different just a little bit its fine. theres things he doesnt know about me...but if he asked i would awnser him truthfully. and if Hes completely different, and everything he told me was a lie....I wouldnt know what to do with myself...but i would want to know the awfule truth...im just that kind of risk taker. and i hate to say when i want something..i go after...and im spoiled..=P...WAS spoiled. but ive learned the more i get older the less i get. but its okay with me. did i mention i was stubborn? lol
but then again...if i was so stubborn...why would i be here asking for advice? if i knew so much...but then i dont. and i have my doubts...and i have my beliefs. i just really want to know what a couple of ppl with different personalitys would do int a situation like this. im getting alot of different awnsers that also make sence. =). but i love him. and i tell him (almost everything) and anything he wants to know. even if its a little hard to say.

[klowny]

Originally Posted by Seki_yamata

lol. i wanna know!!!! =)

lol okay! actually i just forgot most of it but anyway, i really wouldn't know how a person could fall in love with a person online (i had a few encounter's with someone saying they like me or think of me as cool lol) because like you have already said its not reality. even if someone says all the sap like you make me smile everyday or i feel good when i'm talking to you everyone is different growing up whether you have been raised by the internet or TV (and your parent's if that counts). also i'm not comfortable to calling a person i don't even know that well from another state or place because of the bill and its a creepy when you say to your friends "hey guys i finished talking to my girlfriend, she lives all the way in california" also none of us (not sure) will stop you or can for that matter to meeting him or whatever because it's your life and for me i don't care if you ever do your still young (not hitting on you) you'll still find plenty of people that you will like even if you have someone already

also i get the feeling some of us are trying to tell you that your not all that experienced at life to know what can happen (not that i am i still got a long way to go)

[Ledgem]

Originally Posted by Seki_yamata

Well, i want to meet him. and if hes anything what i thought we is rite now then thats a good thing...if hes different just a little bit its fine. theres things he doesnt know about me...but if he asked i would awnser him truthfully. and if Hes completely different, and everything he told me was a lie....I wouldnt know what to do with myself...but i would want to know the awfule truth...im just that kind of risk taker.

My advice on relationships is that you have to be a risk-taker. The more you reveal about yourself and the more information that you trust to the other person, the more vulnerable you're making yourself and the more easily you can be hurt by them. However, giving the other person that power over you shows that you trust them. Ideally they would reciprocate, and the end result would be that the two of you would have a very strong bond of trust between each other.

It's a huge risk, because if the other person is too different or has different ideas then you may feel like you've giving too much of yourself and they're not giving enough. If either person distrusts the other then it limits how far the relationship can go. I don't advocate putting everything out there - proceed slowly and ensure that you're both focused on the same goals and have good communication. The trust should not be blind. But one of the only ways to build that trust and to bond deeper is by risking more and more.

Not all relationships are like that, of course. It's just something to keep in mind.

but then again...if i was so stubborn...why would i be here asking for advice?

Because sometimes all of us have slight doubts despite strong desires. In those cases we don't ask other people for real advice, we ask them because we expect them to say what we want to hear. Having other people agree with you empowers your decision and helps to remove doubt.

Nobody likes to hear that they're wrong, or that what they're doing is wrong.

[Seki_yamata]

Originally Posted by klowny

lol okay! actually i just forgot most of it but anyway, i really wouldn't know how a person could fall in love with a person online (i had a few encounter's with someone saying they like me or think of me as cool lol) because like you have already said its not reality. even if someone says all the sap like you make me smile everyday or i feel good when i'm talking to you everyone is different growing up whether you have been raised by the internet or TV (and your parent's if that counts). also i'm not comfortable to calling a person i don't even know that well from another state or place because of the bill and its a creepy when you say to your friends "hey guys i finished talking to my girlfriend, she lives all the way in california" also none of us (not sure) will stop you or can for that matter to meeting him or whatever because it's your life and for me i don't care if you ever do your still young (not hitting on you) you'll still find plenty of people that you will like even if you have someone already

also i get the feeling some of us are trying to tell you that your not all that experienced at life to know what can happen (not that i am i still got a long way to go)

Well...my frnds do think its weird. alot of ppl think im weird. hehe."but in a kuewl way" as they say. But i do have a question.. have you ever been in an internet relationship before?...well its really hard...this is actually my first online realtionship. and nothings gone worng between him and i yet....but my mom usually gets in the way. and thats it. I usually find myself depressed most times. its not a good feeling. but i cant get over him. even if i tryed, i know its nver gona be easy. but thats if something does bad happen..(sry im kinda talking to him now so i prolly dont make sense) lalala <3

[klowny]

Originally Posted by Seki_yamata

Well...my frnds do think its weird. alot of ppl think im weird. hehe."but in a kuewl way" as they say. But i do have a question.. have you ever been in an internet relationship before?...well its really hard...this is actually my first online realtionship. and nothings gone worng between him and i yet....but my mom usually gets in the way. and thats it. I usually find myself depressed most times. its not a good feeling. but i cant get over him. even if i tryed, i know its nver gona be easy. but thats if something does bad happen..(sry im kinda talking to him now so i prolly dont make sense) lalala <3

to be honest......not a real relationship but i don't want to go into it (recently lol) it sucked though because i knew that people don't always say the truth but i didn't cry over it or anything its just one of things i have to learn for myself rather than someone telling me how it would happen

[Seki_yamata]

Originally Posted by Ledgem

My advice on relationships is that you have to be a risk-taker. The more you reveal about yourself and the more information that you trust to the other person, the more vulnerable you're making yourself and the more easily you can be hurt by them. However, giving the other person that power over you shows that you trust them. Ideally they would reciprocate, and the end result would be that the two of you would have a very strong bond of trust between each other.

It's a huge risk, because if the other person is too different or has different ideas then you may feel like you've giving too much of yourself and they're not giving enough. If either person distrusts the other then it limits how far the relationship can go. I don't advocate putting everything out there - proceed slowly and ensure that you're both focused on the same goals and have good communication. The trust should not be blind. But one of the only ways to build that trust and to bond deeper is by risking more and more.

Not all relationships are like that, of course. It's just something to keep in mind.


Because sometimes all of us have slight doubts despite strong desires. In those cases we don't ask other people for real advice, we ask them because we expect them to say what we want to hear. Having other people agree with you empowers your decision and helps to remove doubt.

Nobody likes to hear that they're wrong, or that what they're doing is wrong.

Thats true. everything you just said is true. Eh this two sides to everything is killing me though. but not everyone can have their way. I gues its on the way you think. If your positve or neggitave. there are pros and cons. and not everyone is going to agree on my desision. I will meet him one day. =) and what i see is what im going to get. either a welcome wagon...or being dragged in the dirt on the back of it. =/ (plz be the welcome wagon)

[Seki_yamata]

Originally Posted by klowny

to be honest......not a real relationship but i don't want to go into it (recently lol) it sucked though because i knew that people don't always say the truth but i didn't cry over it or anything its just one of things i have to learn for myself rather than someone telling me how it would happen

yeah. but i mean, what if it just isnt the internet and youve taken it further...or what if u did get cought up in a situation like this? ...okay...idk..you said you wouldnt. and if u did there was no way in hell that u would meet them. okay then thats cleared. Oh =) but i have done this b4. exept i was playing Xbox live. and this boy liked me, i liked him. we never got to go togeather though. and he lived in the same town as me. and we talked about the same places ware we go. But then just a few weeks ago. at the beging of june. We see eachother for the first time. it was weird. We enned up playing rock band togeather. but it wasnt anything between us but frnd ship...what if something like that happend? if u met some one that lived in the same town as you. and u meet them. would you continue to be their frnd? or would you avoid them? We stayed frnds (just frnds) because we both had other ppl. =). it was nice though.

[Ledgem]

I'm extremely skeptical of online relationships because of my own experienced with them. (Long story short: I didn't care, said yes to be nice, and was amazed at how people treated them so seriously. I was around 12-14 years old when those occurred.)

General advice: go ahead with your current relationship, but realize that when you meet him offline you're almost going to be starting from scratch. You'll both know each other and will have things to talk about, but that will be it. You'll both need to learn more about each other and find out what you're really like. You'll both need to get used to each other, and get comfortable being with each other. Just keep that in mind for when the time comes. It isn't a good or a bad thing, so keep an optimistic outlook.

[Seki_yamata]

Originally Posted by Ledgem

I'm extremely skeptical of online relationships because of my own experienced with them. (Long story short: I didn't care, said yes to be nice, and was amazed at how people treated them so seriously. I was around 12-14 years old when those occurred.)

General advice: go ahead with your current relationship, but realize that when you meet him offline you're almost going to be starting from scratch. You'll both know each other and will have things to talk about, but that will be it. You'll both need to learn more about each other and find out what you're really like. You'll both need to get used to each other, and get comfortable being with each other. Just keep that in mind for when the time comes. It isn't a good or a bad thing, so keep an optimistic outlook.

i know what you mean, its not like we would be sleeping in the same bed (lol) or all over eachother the first time we meet...i think that would be like being with a stranger. id have to adapt to a few things first. like idk. getting to know him in reall life. or his sent. or you know stuff like that. it would all be new to me. but id say at least we would have someting to fall back on. like talking on the phone. or I.M.-ing eachother. (I GOT IN SERIOUS TROUBLE WITH THE PHONE BILL FOR THAT) hehe.

[Nervous Venus]

Originally Posted by Ledgem

My advice on relationships is that you have to be a risk-taker. The more you reveal about yourself and the more information that you trust to the other person, the more vulnerable you're making yourself and the more easily you can be hurt by them.

This reminds me of a friend of one of my coworkers who dated a guy online for two months. He was a doctor and going on vacation, and so she bought a ticket to meet him in Greece. He also sent her flowers, though it looked like the name was scratched off and hers added. She didn't believe us. My coworker demanded his picture, and she relented and sent it over to us. We really didn't trust the guy and started looking up his name on the internet. Apparently, he was wanted in New Jersey for malpractice. He didn't even bother to hide his name, or anything. Maybe because we were in California, and we probably wouldn't do a background check? I have no clue.

Sometimes it happens that way, as unbelievable as it sounds.

Best advice I can give is: Bring a few friends to go along, or you could always have him meet you in your hometown instead (you could share ticket costs or something).

It's not that I'm a paranoid old lady or anything. One of my closest friends I met online, and we're still close after six years. We meet up for coffee and hang out when I vacation in Michigan with my boyfriend. He told me, guys are total wolves with girls they like, lol, so he was glad I brought another guy friend along when we first met.

I wouldn't take any risks in meeting another person alone. Meeting them with my friends along is about as big a risk I would take.

[klowny]

Originally Posted by Seki_yamata

yeah. but i mean, what if it just isnt the internet and youve taken it further...or what if u did get cought up in a situation like this? ...okay...idk..you said you wouldnt. and if u did there was no way in hell that u would meet them. okay then thats cleared. Oh =) but i have done this b4. exept i was playing Xbox live. and this boy liked me, i liked him. we never got to go togeather though. and he lived in the same town as me. and we talked about the same places ware we go. But then just a few weeks ago. at the beging of june. We see eachother for the first time. it was weird. We enned up playing rock band togeather. but it wasnt anything between us but frnd ship...what if something like that happend? if u met some one that lived in the same town as you. and u meet them. would you continue to be their frnd? or would you avoid them? We stayed frnds (just frnds) because we both had other ppl. =). it was nice though.

i met her on the internet but strangely enough she went to my school (small world) just remember i don't care what happens to you or anything good happens to you also i don't like to hear about peoples lives i am just annoyed with it (also with the drama its horrible lol )

[Sides]

Originally Posted by Ledgem

General advice: go ahead with your current relationship, but realize that when you meet him offline you're almost going to be starting from scratch. You'll both know each other and will have things to talk about, but that will be it. You'll both need to learn more about each other and find out what you're really like. You'll both need to get used to each other, and get comfortable being with each other. Just keep that in mind for when the time comes. It isn't a good or a bad thing, so keep an optimistic outlook.

Uha, that is exactly what i was going to post, but you put together in a way that it is much more easier to digest. Respect Ledgem ^_^

[Seki_yamata]

Originally Posted by Nervous Venus

This reminds me of a friend of one of my coworkers who dated a guy online for two months. He was a doctor and going on vacation, and so she bought a ticket to meet him in Greece. He also sent her flowers, though it looked like the name was scratched off and hers added. She didn't believe us. My coworker demanded his picture, and she relented and sent it over to us. We really didn't trust the guy and started looking up his name on the internet. Apparently, he was wanted in New Jersey for malpractice. He didn't even bother to hide his name, or anything. Maybe because we were in California, and we probably wouldn't do a background check? I have no clue.

Sometimes it happens that way, as unbelievable as it sounds.

Best advice I can give is: Bring a few friends to go along, or you could always have him meet you in your hometown instead (you could share ticket costs or something).

It's not that I'm a paranoid old lady or anything. One of my closest friends I met online, and we're still close after six years. We meet up for coffee and hang out when I vacation in Michigan with my boyfriend. He told me, guys are total wolves with girls they like, lol, so he was glad I brought another guy friend along when we first met.

I wouldn't take any risks in meeting another person alone. Meeting them with my friends along is about as big a risk I would take.

LOL! trust me. i checked to see if he was even in the system yet...unfortunatley hes a minor. and they didnt have any information on him like records. but it had his family. and hes mentioned some names b4 and i was sure cuz i know ware he lives (we write eachother) but there wasnt anything. >.> i think he would rather me stay put and come to me. (he hates his town....not to mention its made up of 698 ppl) i did research on his town too.

[Seki_yamata]

Originally Posted by klowny

i met her on the internet but strangely enough she went to my school (small world) just remember i don't care what happens to you or anything good happens to you also i don't like to hear about peoples lives i am just annoyed with it (also with the drama its horrible lol )

i know what you mean. i dislike drama. but its hard to avoid..despite my temper...(theres something about me...oh and ive said more hidden things in the msges) but its easy to get info out of someone..even if its an accedent. but i dont think youve sliped once. =) your good at not slipping. T_T ive slipped ALOT! hehe