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2010-10-08, 12:36 | Link #161 |
Test Drive
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Interesting to see that with the lack of Rin being around and acting as Shirou's partner, Saber has actually grown closer to Shirou as a result. A small change, somewhat similar to HF really, but it's all going back to your original idea of how small changes can shape the whole world. It'll be interesting to see how Saber develops from her exposure to Shirou under these conditions. As for Sakura, I say your portrayal of her is fine. You capture her kindness and her love for Shirou, but you also hint that beneath it all she's got much deeper problems than anyone knows. So, I think you nailed her down perfectly. And yes, Shinji was most awesome. I loved to hate him in this chapter. Also, can I just say I laughed out loud at how easily Saber lied to Sakura? There was something utterly priceless about it.
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2010-10-08, 12:53 | Link #162 |
Labda Prakarsa Nirwikara
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Pekanbaru (UTC+07:00)
Age: 37
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Just some things: Spoiler for things:
Can't wait for Illya's active part in this . Oh this was so worth staying up past midnight
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2010-10-08, 13:05 | Link #163 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Age: 38
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One change for the first Rin/Archer part:
Spoiler for Rin/Archer conversation:
Since Japanese doesn't have gender identification (he/she), it'd probably be best to have Archer say "That woman" instead of "She".
Also, love that last quip of Archer's in the first part. Overall it was a great read. |
2010-10-08, 13:58 | Link #164 |
Me, An Intellectual
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: UK
Age: 33
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It was really great, especially the comedy, but Sakura does seem a lot different here. When Sakura first saw Saber in Heaven's Feel, she was no where near as combatative (atleast not that I can recall).
Plus I think Rider referes to Shinji as 'Master', not Shinji.
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2010-10-08, 16:06 | Link #165 | |||
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Age: 39
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Hmm, this is pretty good. There's one problem that I've noticed, though, with the scene where Sakura arrives.
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I can't remember the exact details of how they got to know each other now, but I'm certain that that is how Sakura came to start coming around his house, at least. Quote:
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2010-10-08, 17:04 | Link #166 | |||||
"Hey, Isaac?"
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Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and I corrected all the straight-up mistakes...
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As to the second point, all I can say is that she never directly asks Saber to leave; she was mainly just trying to express her general disapproval, because she can't say what she really wants to say: 'Get rid of your command seals and get out of this war before my sister kills you'. Quote:
Glad you enjoyed Archer, though. His interactions with Rin are amusing to me. Quote:
I have noticed that in UBW too; at the beginning, when Rin's not around yet, Saber is much less formal and more open with Shirou. It's like something about Rin's presence makes her clam up for some reason... Thanks! I might have made some small errors (see above) but I'm glad I got the spirit of the character down. This fic is not meant to bash anybody; I want to treat all the characters with respect except the ones who are just totally without redeeming qualities and thus sort of impossible to treat with respect. They know who they are. ... They're Shinji and Zouken. Quote:
Neither can I! I like Ilya, and I can't wait to start fitting her into things, but first I need to screw over Shirou a bit. Last edited by Moczo; 2010-10-08 at 19:55. |
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2010-10-08, 21:10 | Link #167 | |
Casting a spell on you...
Graphic Designer
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Nice job, here Moczo. Funny how Archer muses that killing off Shinji will be kind of beneficial to Sakura, and yet, he shows how dense he was in life by not realizing what killing Shirou at the same time will do. |
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2010-10-08, 21:30 | Link #169 | |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
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Quote:
On the other hand, since Archer's plan hasn't gone wrong quite yet, something's probably going to go wrong in the next *amount of time it takes him to fire the arrow*. |
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2010-10-08, 22:49 | Link #172 |
"Hey, Isaac?"
Author
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All right, after a minor incident where I think the site achieved sentience and tried to eat my story for nutrients, the latest chapter is now up on FF.net.
EDIT: Well... look at it as less him asking the question as 'what would be the best option for Sakura?' and coming up with a very bad answer; and more asking the question 'Do I have any real reason not to kill Shinji when I kill everyone else?' and coming up with a resounding 'Nope'. Last edited by Moczo; 2010-10-09 at 16:54. |
2010-10-13, 22:53 | Link #173 |
"Hey, Isaac?"
Author
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Spoiler for Chaos Theory, Chapter Four:
Chapter Four: Opening Salvo
Shirou didn't know how he knew. One moment Saber was on the verge of an easy win and they were one step closer to saving that woman, the next his blood ran cold in his veins and the world seemed to fall into slow motion. He could see it. The sword, glittering in the moonlight. The red knight, smiling coldly as he prepared to fire. He knew there was no way he could be able to see this, see Archer taking aim from so far away, but he could as plain as day. He heard something, yet didn't hear it at the same time, and knew that whatever it was he'd... heard? Not heard? He didn't even know his own thoughts anymore... he knew that whatever it was, it was dangerous. Very, very dangerous. I... ... ... my sword... It sounded like gibberish, and yet for some reason... "Saber!" he shouted. "Get back!" Saber didn't know what had Shirou so worried, but her Master sounded openly terrified and he had been rather good at maintaining his cool until now, so she decided ignoring him was not wise. Shifting the angle of what had been meant to be her killing stroke, she forced mana into her legs, and instead smashed her sword into the portion of Rider's weapon that the other Servant was still holding, using her entire body to push herself backwards as hard as she could. If there was something dangerous approaching her current, position, then she needed to not only move but get Shirou out of the way quickly. The violet-haired Servant, recognizing that something was wrong, followed suit, retreating towards Shinji and grabbing him at a greater speed than Saber herself could manage. Still, they both managed to scoop up their respective Masters and begin dragging them away from the central battlefield, and... They very nearly made all the way out of the blast radius before Archer's attack detonated. ------------------------------- Ilya breathed a sigh of relief. As she looked at the blast through the eyes of a nearby tree. He was alive, his Servant having gotten him mostly to safety and absorbing what damage she couldn't avoid. Er... not that she cared, really. She'd probably kill him herself! It was just that... well... she didn't want to do it yet. She was curious, that was all. He hadn't been anything like what she expected, and so she didn't want to kill him until she found out why that was. Ilya was, to put it mildly, a naive girl. She believed people when they spoke to her; all people, really. She simply took it as fact that nobody would say anything that wasn't the truth, because it was just common sense to only say things that were true. If it wasn't true, why say it? That was why Kiritsugu had hurt her so deeply... when he'd told her that he would come back to her, she had believed, totally and without the slightest reservation. And then he hadn't come back. Grandpapa had told her why; he had found another child, one he cared for more than her. He had abandoned her because he was coldhearted and evil, and he had realized that the Einzbern family would not allow him to corrupt Ilya after his betrayal in the Fourth Grail War, so he had simply left her behind like trash so he could mold some other child into his twisted image. And she had believed that too, because Kiritsugu... papa... wasn't there. If he were a good person, if he loved her, wouldn't he have been there? Now, though, she was starting to wonder. She knew that someone involved in the Kiritsugu situation had deceived her, but she was starting to wonder who, exactly, it was. The boy had smiled at her even when she wasn't doing anything at all, and his eyes were warm and gentle. Papa's eyes had been like that sometimes; mostly they looked empty, or sad, but sometimes they'd been gentle when he played with her, or when he looked at mama. It made her feel warm inside, and did not really match what her family had told her about him... about either of them. Grandpapa only smiled when he spoke of the Holy Grail, and his eyes were like the pictures she'd seen of sharks. When he spoke to her, it was to instruct her in her training or to preach the philosophy of the Einzbern family. He was cold, as cold as the forests around the old castle. Even in the summer the chill hung in the air... She hadn't known the boy long, but the more she learned of the outside world, the more she was getting the impression that even if he was evil, he was probably still less evil than Grandpapa. It required further observation. So she wouldn't kill him, and she wouldn't let him die. Not until she knew for sure what he was truly like. The truth was very, very important to Ilyasviel; she always told it, and she expected everyone else to do the same. If she found out that Kiritsugu had been the one telling the truth, and that Grandpapa had been lying to her, she would be very cross indeed. But now this. She had wanted to follow him, observe him, maybe even talk to him if she could work up the courage. And when he'd gone into battle, she had held back despite the overwhelming urge to involve herself because she didn't want him to know she was a Master, not yet. Masters fought Masters, always. To really know what he was like, she needed to see how he reacted to her, not the Master of Berserker. She would never get to know him if he was on guard against her (And no, that wasn't lying to him! She wasn't going to tell him she wasn't a Master! She just... wouldn't bring the subject up! That might have been cheating a little, but it was still okay, she was pretty sure!). Fortunately, even an idiot could tell that Saber would defeat Rider; Rider's Master was possibly the lowliest, most pathetic human being she had ever seen, a perfect example of how thoroughly the Makiri had rotted over the years. Kiritsugu's boy was, from what she had seen, adorably helpless. A kitten without his Servant. The mischievous part of her had been fighting the urge for some time to sneak up and halt his motor functions with her magic, just to tease him a bit and giggle at how cute and hopeless he was. But even someone as weak as he was could deal with that slime so long as Saber was by his side. Then Rin Tohsaka had to stick her big nose into Ilya's business, and her Archer was very, very strange, and Ilya was starting to get worried that someone might kill her boy before she decided if she wanted to kill him herself or not... ------------------------------- His ears ringing, Shirou blinked a few times to clear his vision. Even with her armor, she didn't weigh all that much, but he was feeling awfully sore and Saber on top of him wasn't helping. He still felt a jab of relief when she opened her eyes to gaze into his, however. "Are you all right?" The Master and Servant asked in unison. "... you were between me and the blast." Shirou said. "... I'm harder to hurt than you, and my armor took most of the shrapnel. What happened?" She asked, Rider largely forgotten. "I... Archer. Tohsaka's Archer just tried to... he attacked us. I think he was firing from that building, over..." he said, scanning the skyline, "There. The office building... the only one in that row of buildings that doesn't have any lights on in any of the windows. Must have chosen it because it was vacant..." Saber stood and helped her Master to his feet. "How did you know which building they are-" Before she finished the sentence, she suddenly spun in place, the wind howling as her sword snapped through the air to smash aside an incoming silver flash, then another, then another... Shirou watched in awe. The arrows... and they were arrows, he could see when they hit the ground after she intercepted them... were moving like bullets, visible only because of their size and the way they reflected the streetlights. And yet Saber was deflecting them like they were nothing. And he could see... yes, amid the silver flashes on the other side of the park, a shadow was weaving as Rider dodged among the arrows, her speed not visibly affected by the fact that she had slung a clearly uncomfortable Shinji over her shoulder. And the arrows themselves were reason to be impressed, descending like a silver monsoon, far too fast and far too numerous to be the work of anything but a machine gun, yet they were arrows... He wondered if he would ever stop being awed by Servants, he really did. "I believe you were correct when you stated we were under attack by Archer, Master." Saber said conversationally as she batted aside another arrow. "At least, I don't believe any of the other Servants could manage a projectile attack of this caliber. Fortunately, projectile weaponry is largely useless against me if I can see the path of the missile. Still, another shot on the level of that first attack would be best avoided, so I should hunt him down." "Er... yeah." Shirou said, trying to get his amazement back under control. "He's on the building I pointed out to you... I don't know, I just sort of saw him there. Don't ask me how." And that smile... like he was looking me right in the eye from a mile away and laughing at the thought of my death. Shirou thought. Tohsaka... what kind of Servant did you call? And are you there with him, looking over his shoulder while he tries to kill me? "As you command." Saber said, spinning her sword in a wide arc to repel more of the incoming projectiles. "I shall not ask, although I am curious." "Er, no, you can ask, it's just that I don't know." "Ah, very well." Saber said, nodding. "Master, it would perhaps be prudent for you to take cover while I deal with the enemy? Archer will not be able to kill you if he is trying to slow my advance. I believe that large tree near the bench in the northwest corner of the park should provide an acceptable shield. I will cover your retreat." "What about Rider?" Shirou asked. "AAAAAAAAAAAAH-" Shinji said as he went flying through the air into a tangle of bushes, Rider 'depositing' him into cover before vanishing into the darkened streets to pursue Archer. "I believe that, for the moment, she is closer to an ally than an enemy." Saber said. "Now take cover!" As Saber disappeared in a burst of wind, charging down the enemy and striking aside projectiles as if she were swatting flies, Shirou hid behind a tree. This... this is not acceptable. He thought in supreme humiliation. I should be out there with her, but I can't even stand in the open without getting killed! This is just... what kind of a useless Master am I? I need to get stronger. I can't be like this, I can't be like... Gasping for air and brushing thorns off his clothes, Shinji Matou dove behind the tree next to him. ... like him, basically. "Gah... that bitch! I'm her Master, and she throws me around like a piece of trash? She'd better kill whoever is out to get me, or I swear I'll..." He snapped to the night air in general, only to have his voice trail off when he recognized who was sitting next to him. He snarled a curse, reaching inside his shirt for something... Shirou, then, taught him the problems with trying to reach for a weapon in a point-blank fight by simply grabbing Shinji's head and slamming it into the tree. "Ow..." Shinji said, his eyes going distinctly unfocused. It was a good thing he had already been sitting down, because his knees went very weak. "I would tell you to give up your Command Seals and bow out of the war, now that I know you're having your Servant eat people." Shirou said, glad to have encountered a problem he could deal with. "But Rider is helping Saber, so I don't want her to disappear right now. But Shinji... I can't forgive your actions here easily. You're going to sit here, and you're not going to talk, and since we're in a war zone I won't take whatever weapon you have in there but if you try to pull it on me again I will hit you until you stop moving. And once we're safe, you are out of this war and you will pay for your crimes." Shinji gave him a somewhat fuzzy look of pure loathing. It seemed deeply wrong on the face of someone he had until moments ago still considered at least a friend, if not a close one. "H-how... how dare..." "I was completely serious about beating you unconscious, Shinji." Shinji stopped talking. ------------------------------- Archer sighed in annoyance, continuing his bombardment out of pure spite. The kid had seen it coming. Presumably he had sensed the projection somehow... this close together, he supposed their magic might be interacting in unexpected ways. Well, he'd remember that and compensate in the future. In the meantime, Rider was flitting in and out of his vision and Saber was charging straight down his throat and deflecting everything he threw at her; just nameless blades remade as arrows, certainly no match for her holy sword, but the fact that she could discern and deflect all of them was something special. She really was as amazing as he remembered. "They're on their way, Rin." He said, sending off another volley. "I can only slow them down like this. We will have company very soon." "H... how do you fire so many?" Rin asked in a hushed tone, honestly confused. It was like he was not only moving more quickly than humanly possible, but also that many of the arrows were not even being fired from his bow, they were just appearing in the air in front of him... "That's not what matters right now, Rin. What matters is that two Servants are converging on our position and I can't defeat them both if I have to protect you." "Oh, of c... if you have to protect me?!" Rin snapped. "You can't defeat them both at all! Saber would have killed you if Emiya hadn't stopped her the first time we..." "Rin! Focus, please!" Archer said sharply. "If I fight defensively, I can at least hold them both for some time. And they won't be fighting as a team, not really, which will make things easier. But if you're there, they'll force me to protect you and we'll both end up dead." Rin nodded. "Right. I see. So you don't want me to... oh. Oh-ho. Archer, I think I have a plan. Make sure that Saber and Rider both come after you, okay? I need you to keep them off my back for a bit!" She said, running for the stairs. Archer considered the situation and what she was most likely planning... and smiled wickedly. "Clever girl." Well then, it was time to be a distraction then. Casting aside his rain of weak arrows, he centered his will into a greater projection. A jagged, black blade appeared in his hands, and he drew back the bowstring. "Hrunting." He said under his breath. The blade was solid black, a twisted, serrated, jagged piece of work. But while it might be ugly, it served Archer's purpose as a missile better than nearly any sword imaginable. Lacking the raw destructive power of Caladbolg as artillery, Hrunting, one of the Noble Phantasms of the hero Beowulf, instead possessed a certain quality that made it an ideal tool for sniping. As Saber would soon be learning... He took aim at the silver knight, Broke the Phantasm, and fired. As the arrow flew, it took on red highlights, swiftly becoming a brilliant red bullet that lit up the sky as it streaked towards Saber. With contemptuous ease, she simply leapt over the blast and continued her charge... only to have her eyes widen in shock at the realization that the arrow had shifted its course to follow her jump. Archer couldn't help but admire her grace as she twisted in midair, slamming her invisible sword into the streak of red that ignored all rules of inertia to change its direction in flight. The red streak shattered upon connecting with Saber's peerless sword, finally halting its flight permanently, but the immense energy released still sent her flying to slam painfully into the side of nearby apartment building. Those tenants would be having an amusing morning... Archer smiled, and projected another copy of the black sword. Hrunting's value as a weapon was that once it chose a target, it would not stop until it hit or it was destroyed, so long as the swordsman kept his aim on that chosen target. For a swordsman in melee, this had some value; Beowulf had found it quite nice for killing slippery, water-dwelling monsters. For an archer using the sword as a projectile, an arrow that would ceaselessly pursue the target of his choice, changing directions in midair and drilling through obstacles... the applications were far, far more interesting. Saber blocked that one a bit too easily; let's try refining the projection a bit more. Trace, on. Analyzing basic composition, reconfiguring elements to enhance aerodynamics and piercing capabilities. Increasing mana infusion by 20%. He thought, the blade taking on a violent red aura with the strengthening magic. He adjusted his aim to take in the brief flash of violet that marked Rider's passing through a spot of light and released the arrow. If she thought she could evade his eyes by sticking to the shadows, she was about to be unpleasantly surprised. Rider tried a different tactic than the one she'd seen Saber fail at, accelerating past the arrow and dodging to the side more quickly than it could adjust. She was not amused to discover it turning to follow her, nor happy to find that it was extremely fast. It would catch her rather quickly, unless... Rider did not smile as the idea struck her, but only because she was by nature a rather stoic woman. She veered sharply, weaving in and out of multiple alleys with the arrow on her tail until she found what she was looking for: Saber, only just having climbed out of the impact crater she'd made. Rider charged her as she oriented herself, and Saber instantly dropped into a defensive stance. She was caught slightly off-guard, then, when Rider did not attack her but jumped over her, so closely Saber could feel the other woman's body graze her hair. Her attention was then caught more strongly by the red bullet following in Rider's footsteps and preparing to go through her in order to get there. She brought her sword into the path of the arrow, Invisible Air screaming as the red bolt collided with the raging wind, the conflicting energies kicking up a small hurricane. This arrow was stronger than the last... she could feel the asphalt beneath her boots cracking from the pressure. But she was not in the air, this time. And with her feet planted and her blade held firmly, she was a different foe altogether. Pouring mana into her arms and her sword, with a cry of exertion she swung her blade with all her might. For just a second, her wind scabbard parted to reveal the golden blade beneath, and the greatest of holy swords sliced the offending projectile in half. The pieces of the shattered black sword struck the street on either side of the knight with enough force to pierce into it until they totally disappeared from view. The force of the blast did little more than ruffle her hair and dress, her blade and mana absorbed the blast so thoroughly. She turned to rebuke Rider for using her as a human shield, only to find that the black Servant was already long gone. Archer stepped back from the edge of the building, his bow disappearing to be replaced by the twin swords Kanshou and Bakuya. The extra charge he'd given to that second arrow meant it would take him at least twenty seconds to bring up another of that caliber, and he didn't have that much- Rider leapt up over the edge of the building, having crossed the remaining distance and scaled the structure before those twenty seconds were up. Apparently she was even quicker when she could just sprint in a straight line without dodging, and she'd correctly deduced that the increased power of the second shot had come at a price. Still, her Master was Shinji, which had to hold her back a good margin. If it had been one-on-one, he was absolutely certain he could defeat her despite her talents as a Servant. The problem was, Saber was also on her way, and two Servants was a tall order if he wanted to actually have some prayer of winning. In particular, going into melee with Saber was just asking for death unless she was the only thing he had to worry about; she'd cut him to pieces if he also had to deal with keeping Rider's spikes out of his neck. So he needed to at least immobilize Rider before Saber arrived, and that was difficult since he probably had less than a minute. Leaping backwards to avoid the chain spike that impaled itself in the roof where he had been standing, Archer landed in a crouch, dug his blades into the roof, and spun in a quick circle. His cape whirling around him, he fell through onto the top floor of the empty office building, throwing Kanshou up through the newly created hole before he even landed. Rider dove for the opening, only to pull back abruptly as the black blade came whirling out of it. A transparent ploy to buy a few seconds, she thought. He didn't want to engage her in melee, apparently; appropriate for an Archer. She dove down through the hole, to see something strange... the other sword, the white one, was planted in the floor at the bottom of the hole she'd dropped into. She heard something cutting the air behind her. The black sword was coming back, far more quickly than gravity should have allowed, being pulled toward the white...! She snapped her chain into a nearby wall, using it to pull herself out of her descent and away from the area between the two blades before she was sliced in half. She caught a glimpse of Archer, smiling, with an arrow knocked, but he wouldn't hit her by aiming where he was, she was too quick for... Oh no. He knew he wasn't going to hit her, didn't he? Archer hurled another pair of Kanshou and Bakuya, this set Broken, to collide with the flying black sword in midair... and explode very, very close to Rider. He decided with not-inconsiderable satisfaction that blasting her out the window of a thirty-story building was a decent way to immobilize her for a few minutes. It probably wouldn't kill her, since the final impact at the bottom was mundane, of little value against a Servant, but she would not be going anywhere for a bit. His satisfaction was dampened as Saber leapt in through the window shattered by Rider's fall, the wind howling as she crossed the space to him in less than a second and took a nasty chunk out of his chest as his dodge was not quite fast enough. Fighting to maintain his footing and composure, he brought new copies of his favored swords into existence and parried her second blow, feeling the shock up his arms from her power and the strength of her sword. Amazing as ever... these weapons really are no match... Oddly enough, when he jumped back and over an overturned desk to get some space, she did not follow, merely kept him within dashing distance so he could not begin using projectiles again. She looked... cautious? "Where..." She asked in a worried tone, "... is Rin?" Archer smiled. "You missed her? She was headed right past you, I believe." Saber's eyes widened. "Shirou...!" "Good plan, no? I was actually somewhat proud when Rin came up with it. Why bother with you when your Master is such an easy target, right? She'll probably do something fluffy like try to make him give up his Command Seals before she turns to violence, but at least she spotted a sensible path to victory and took it. She's growing, don't you think? And when she has to kill those two because they won't give in, she'll grow even more." Archer said calmly. "She's not ruthless enough, not willing to make all the necessary sacrifices. Even if you have to kill one, dozen, a hundred people to win this war, isn't that better than letting people like Shinji Matou and his blood-drinker get their hands on a power like the Holy Grail? Maybe seeing real combat and bloodying her hands a bit will drive that point home." "Archer, you...!" Saber said, bristling both at the threat to her Master and at his frank admission of his satisfaction at the thought of the honestly likable girl she'd met the previous night turning into a coldhearted killer. She fully intended to defeat Rin for the Holy Grail, but she had wanted it to be a fair and genuine contest in deference to the girl's pleasant personality. Now... "Don't waste your venom on me. Whatever my thoughts on her development, it's still a solid tactic to focus on the Master first. Shirou Emiya and Shinji Matou are no match for a genuine Magus like Rin. And if you try to go stop her, you can know for a fact that I'll shoot you in the back at the first opportunity." Archer said calmly. "So now that you finally understand what's going on, tell me, Saber... you can probably defeat me, but do you think you can do it before Rin finishes your worthless Master off?" ------------------------------- Shirou and Shinji sat in awkward silence. "So... you're a Master?" Shirou asked. "... don't talk to me." Shinji said. His head still hurt. A lot. Shirou fell silent. Honestly, he'd just found out his friend, who he would have called 'an okay guy with some rough spots' yesterday at this time, was going around feeding people to his summoned monster. ... What do I do if she dies? Or if there have been other victims? He wondered. If she was the first, and she survives, I could maybe still redeem Shinji. Let him off with just being removed from this War. But if she dies, or if she wasn't the first, if he's... if he's a murderer... What should he do? Shinji couldn't be prosecuted by human law for crimes committed by a Servant. Should he... should he just kill Shinji? Just... just grab a rock or something and bash his head in? Order Saber to cut him down where he stood? Eye for an eye justice? A hero stops the villain, doesn't he? He was standing over that woman and watching her die like it was funny, does he deserve mercy? Shirou asked silently. God, he's Shinji, I've known him for years, he's Sakura's brother! I can't just kill him, but I can't just let him go either...! And then something slammed into the ground next to the tree, invisible but with a pressure he could still feel somehow. He silently thanked whatever it was for giving him a problem he could understand more easily. "I know where you are, boys. Come out, surrender peacefully, and you can both leave with nothing but the Command Seals ripped out of your nerves. Losing use of an arm is pretty merciful compared to what some Masters would do to you." Rin Tohsaka's voice commanded. "Don't play nice, and the next shot punches that tree in half." Shinji's eyes widened in panic. "Wh-where did she... damn! I'm calling Rider, we need to..." "No! I don't think either of our Servants should fight Archer alone!" Shirou said. "Who cares about them? They're supposed to die anyway, I just want to get out of here alive!" Shinji countered. Shirou stared at him for several seconds. "All right, I have a plan. That spell was called 'Gandr'. I learned about it from my father... it causes a virus in the target for a few days. It won't kill you." "... it won't kill me?" "Yeah. Because I'm using you as a shield until I can find some kind of weapon." Shirou said. "What?" "I can only do reinforcement magic. So unless I can find a... a stick, or something to use as a weapon, I can't beat her. So I need a shield to block at least her first shot until I can find one." "So? You can't use me!" Rider! Rider get your ass back here right n- "You have a weapon in your chest pocket, right? You can maybe hold her off for a few seconds." Shirou said reassuringly. "I'll help as soon as I can, and she won't kill you, I know her." "She's a Master! Of course she'll kill m-" Shinji began. He didn't finish because Shirou picked that moment to grab him by the shirt-front, spin him around the tree, and physically chuck him at Rin. He then, you know, went off to find a stick or something to use as a weapon. ------------------------------- Saber was becoming frustrated. No matter how her invisible blade moved, Archer seemed to know precisely what weak point she was aiming at and just barely manage a defense. And he didn't allow her to retreat, either, despite the fact that his Archer class should be trying to get to higher ground for sniping purposes. Whatever else could be said about him, two things were obvious. First, he was a highly skilled and intelligent opponent to keep up with her blade, even as weakened as she was by Shirou's inability to supply her with power. Second... he knew. He knew who she was! There was simply no other explanation. He knew the precise size and shape of her sword, or he couldn't have defended so perfectly. And while that could be explained away by saying that he could see through illusions or had analyzed Invisible Air in her fight with Rider, he was also staying close to her. He knew that with them so near the rooftops, he shouldn't get too far away from her or she would be able to use her Noble Phantasm without fear of hitting innocent bystanders. Somehow, he knew who she was. Saber stopped her attack, her sword held cautiously at her side. "You... I don't know you, so how...?" Archer smirked, holding Kanshou slightly behind and below Bakuya in a defensive posture that should allow him to get at least one sword into the path of any attack. "Maybe I was in your army, your majesty. Do you remember every knight under your command?" "Of course not, no king can know every soldier in their army. But a warrior of your caliber would have had an honored seat at my table, and since you did not, I can say that I did not know you in my life." She said frankly. "HA! Well, I guess it's a shame I wasn't born in your kingdom, then... some recognition would have been nice." Archer said, his smirk remaining firmly in place. "On the other hand, considering how your kingdom ended up..." Her next attack slashed completely through Kanshou and halfway through Bakuya before his guard managed to stop it. He saw the promise of death in her pretty eyes. He pulled back, inviting her to continue her lunge, and she obliged, once again with a vicious two-handed chop that ruined another pair of newly-projected swords. Razor-sharp... lightning fast... he thought, fighting to keep his expression worried so that she wouldn't comprehend what he was really trying to do. ... and blessedly predictable. A part of him felt bad, honestly. He knew how sensitive she was about the subject of her kingdom, and knew that anger would dull her reactions, make her strokes more obvious. And stronger, granted, but he could get new swords easily enough. Better to project a new weapon with each exchange than deal with Saber at her best. She was stronger than him, had a better weapon, and was a more talented natural swordswoman; his hope for victory lie in making her fight with emotion and cloud her instincts so she was easy to read and he knew exactly where those powerful blows would land. The sword dance continued like that, shards of metal from shattered sword after shattered sword being hurled through the building only to vanish as old projections ended and new began. Saber's anger made her attacks lack the finesse they should have had, and her wild swings would eventually leave... There. An opening. Her next step forward would take her onto uneven ground, a piece of rubble that would throw off her footing and make her already in-progress swing lose its killing edge. He would hook her unbalanced sword on Kanshou, letting him hold her just enough to give him the second he needed to flick Bakuya into her throat. It wouldn't take her head off, so she wouldn't die, but not even Saber could just keep fighting with her neck slashed open. He could finish her off at will. She lunged, exactly as planned. Tripped, exactly as planned. He caught the sword, prepared to make the tiny flick of his wrist needed to end the fight... She snapped one hand off her sword and in front of her face. She winced in pain as his blade slashed through armor and into flesh, but not so much pain that she wasn't able to disengage her sword and leap backward, eyes wide. "Damn... I thought I had you for a moment there." Archer said. "Should have known you weren't as angry as I thought you were. Still, I came close, and one of your arms isn't such a bad consolation prize." "Archer..." Saber said, her eyes still wide with shock and fear as she looked around the shadows, searching for something. "Where is Rider?" Archer considered this for a moment. He was certain he hadn't killed her, just wounded. And he'd been so caught up in the duel that he hadn't even considered that Rider hadn't made any sort of a reappearance, despite the fact that she would have had a considerable advantage in this darkness... "Damn!" He said, breaking into a sprint and preparing to leap out the window to get to the park more quickly, Saber following on his heels. Dammit, Rin, this is what Command Seals are for! He screamed mentally. Call me, call me, call me! ------------------------------- Rin's eyes widened in surprise as something warm and soft slammed into her midsection. The wind knocked out of her, she, elegantly and with the dignity appropriate the Tohsaka heir, fell on her ass. She looked down in confusion to see what, exactly, had come whipping around the tree at that unusual speed, and saw Shinji Matou's familiar blue mop. He had his face buried in her stomach, and he had reflexively grabbed onto her legs. So she, elegantly and with the dignity appropriate the Tohsaka heir, said, "Who the Hell do you think you're touching?!" And punched him in the side of the head as hard as she could. That was a mistake. Bone on bone hurt her hand as much as his head. "Ow... ow... ow..." Shinji said, raising his head. Rin's eyes widened slightly at the look on his face. He didn't seem 'angry' so much as... inhuman. "I... am so sick... of you people treating me like your punching bag!" She leveled her palm in his direction, the Tohsaka Magic Crest gleaming upon her forearm. "Then you shouldn't be so good at getting hit. Surrender, or..." He threw his hand inside his shirt, extended his other, and something dark, cold, and sharp roared towards her. Fortunately, Rin Tohsaka was actually pretty good at this. Her physical training was flawless, and her instincts were sound. She might not have been very experienced, but experience was the only thing she was lacking, and dodging such a simplistic magic as this blade of darkness was no problem. Still, she could admit to a certain amount of surprise that Shinji was capable of even that much. "Not bad, Matou." She said. "A Servant, some low-grade battle spells... considering you're not even a Magus, you've put together a passable defensive package. I wouldn't say I'm impressed, but at least I'm... amused." Shinji stood facing her, a small book clenched in his hands. "See if you're still amused in a second, bitch." He spat, his face contorted in frankly unsettling fury. She'd known Matou was a weasel, but she was suspecting now that he was legitimately unstable. And the book... Rin was an excellent Magus. She knew a magic like that by sight. Ah. Ah-ha. So that's how a no-count like this managed to take control of Rider. She put on her best smirk. "Shinji, Shinji, Shinji. I know your family tree is a bit withered, but depending on charity? Did grandpa decide he couldn't be bothered to get up this week, but wanted into the War anyway?" "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Shinji growled, more of the same blades of darkness slicing through the night air towards her. She did not even bother to dodge, merely held her Magic Crest in front of her and willed a counter blast. The blades were shredded by her own spell, hurling Shinji to his knees once again. She hoped he enjoyed the pain to go on top of his new virus, she'd put in the extra effort for a physical blow. "Do you really think your bargain-bin sorcery and stolen mana can handle a real magus, Shinji?" He smiled horribly and wiped blood from his nose, his skin already looking pale. "Not really. Bet she can, though." He hissed. Rin never even saw Rider hit her. One moment she was in control of the situation, the next she was pinned to the ground with her Crest arm twisted painfully behind her... and a soft hand pushing her hair away from her neck. "What have we here?" Rider purred. "Lunch?" Eyes wide in horror, Rin tried to pour mana into her crest, simply make a burst to blast the Servant away... and cried out as Rider twisted the arm harder. She heard tendons pop. "There, there. It will only hurt for a second, and then it feels rather good." Rider chided her, leaning towards her bared neck. She made it about halfway there before something heavy and blunt smashed into the back of her skull. It didn't really hurt, but it was enough to be a nuisance, so she slammed the captive Mage's head into the dirt once to dizzy her and leapt into a defensive stance. The Servant nearly laughed out loud at the sight of the red-haired boy, brandishing a stick with a frankly pitiful aura of magic about it as though it were a sword. "E... Emiya...?" The dazed Magus said. Her head was heavy and her arm hurt like Hell, but she thought she could focus enough to see... "Emiya, whose side are you on?! She was going to kill us both! I'm just returning the favor!" Shinji protested. "She wasn't. And even if she were, I wouldn't let you just feed her to that thing! She's a person, not food!" Shirou said firmly. Rider sighed in annoyance. "Master, I had a head start, but their Servants will be here shortly..." Shinji smiled in triumph. "Well... it seems like I'm saying this more and more often these days. Kill them both, Rider." ------------------------------- Ilya was no longer divided. Rin had not been intending to kill onii-chan, so she had not intervened. The girl might talk big, but unlike Ilya, who had no problem with death unless it happened to someone she actually liked, Rin was squeamish. She didn't truly want to kill even the slimy Makiri thing, though the world would certainly be a lot less sleazy without him. She had just meant to take the boy's Servant, and Ilya could not care less about Saber. But now, because Rin had not simply blown the Makiri Master's head off when she had the chance, his Servant was back. The two Masters might be able to hold Rider off for a time, as weakened as she was by her worthless Master, but the Servant would win in the end. Saber and Archer would not be there in time. But she was closer, and she had someone faster... She didn't know much about the boy, but she had come to one decision, after all of her thinking. Whatever else he was, he was hers. She had come to Japan solely for him, that much had not changed just because she was no longer certain what she wanted to do once she had him. If he died, it would be when she wished him to die. If she decided she did not wish for such a thing, then he would not die. And until she made up her mind, nobody was allowed to harm a single hair on his head, because he. Belonged. To her! Not to Makiri, not to Tohsaka, and not even to Einzbern; he was Ilya's. Her own. And nobody took something that belonged to her. "Go, Berserker." And the black giant roared, free to enter the battle at last. Spoiler for Author's Note::
Hmmm... well, I don't actually have anything to say, really. Need to work on some other stories, so it might be longer before the next update. Beyond that, as usual point out any genuine errors you spot, and hope you enjoy the chapter!
Last edited by Moczo; 2010-10-14 at 11:52. |
2010-10-13, 23:56 | Link #174 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Age: 38
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Spoiler for Hrunting / Beowulf:
Beowulf never killed anyone with Hrunting. He used it to fight Grendal's Mother, but it didn't do a damned thing to her, so he threw it away.
Other than that, I enjoyed it. Definitely nice seeing some battle prowess from Archer against someone other than Caster. |
2010-10-14, 03:53 | Link #175 |
Labda Prakarsa Nirwikara
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Pekanbaru (UTC+07:00)
Age: 37
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Very,very nice. Reading Archer's thought process as he modifies his weapon was a nice treat .
Hmm, about Hrunting, maybe he could just use a depowered Gae Bolg instead? So I guess no new chapter for a while. Back to Infinity ? Or maybe Sette ?
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2010-10-14, 06:00 | Link #176 | ||
"Hey, Isaac?"
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Posted the chapter to ff.net. |
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2010-10-14, 09:52 | Link #177 |
Test Drive
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You know, if Shirou plays this right, he might still end up partnered to Rin yet. He pretty much saved her life a second time, and from a much more dangerous threat than his own Saber. She's going to feel like she owes him again, and so it continues.... A little thing, but it was a nice touch to see Archer feeling guilty for manipulating Saber. It still shows that deep down he's the same as when he was alive, even in spite of what's happened to him.
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2010-10-14, 10:06 | Link #178 | |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Age: 38
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Not sure why the typemoon wiki seems to think he did, but the story itself specifically says that he threw it away after it was ineffective against her. |
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2010-10-14, 10:15 | Link #179 | |
"Hey, Isaac?"
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Nasu is well known for playing fast and loose with the legends he uses. To the best of my knowledge, there is no version of Arthurian Myth where King Arthur slays the entire enemy army with one strike from her sword that shoots lasers. |
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2010-10-14, 10:47 | Link #180 | |
Me, An Intellectual
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: UK
Age: 33
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However, I do have one problem: Everyone here seems a lot smarter than in the game. I suppose that's probably a good thing (I forgot to mention this in the Game thread, but just so you know, even though i bashed Shirou a lot for being an idiot, I still ended up rather liking him) but it does kinda feel odd. I just don't get the same feel for these characters here than I did in the game, though perhaps that might simply suggest that we have different interpretations. There's a lot of taunting that goes on. I could understand Archer doing it because he did it for practical reasons but I can't imagine Rider doing it. Plus it's a lot harder for me to just accept that all the civilians don't have a clue what's going on. Surely someone must've noticed by now? Oh and btw I think there's a typo in the third sentance in the last section; Quote:
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character, discussion, fanfiction |
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