To Aru ... Fanfiction Discussion Thread

[Ilidsor]

Would anybody mind telling me if I'm getting Misaki right in this:

Spoiler for Toums' Busy Day 9:

“Why do you have to show up again?” Touma complained.

“Shut up! Do you have something better to do then talk to me?”

“Well… not right now.”

“What’s with that response!?” Sarah Stone yelled at him. The first two times they had met she had attacked him, but now she was talking to him as if they were old friends.

“Nothing. So? What happened with your brother?”

Sarah lost all of her energy and her face became a mask. “He… he wouldn’t tell me. He made up a story but… it was obviously a lie. I don’t…”

“I’m sorry.” Touma said with as much sympathy as he could. He couldn’t imagine what finding out that a family member that you had looked up to your whole life was a criminal would be like…. Well aside from that moment during the Angel Fall incident where he had suspected his father but that didn’t really count since from his perspective he had just met the man.

“Yeah… It’s fine. I guess I never really knew him in the first place.”

“If you ever need any help, just let me know.” Touma offered a little awkwardly. He wasn’t entirely sure what to say.

Luckily it seemed to be enough. Sarah smiled at him and said. “Thank you. I will.”

For some reason Touma couldn’t help but think that she looked oddly cute.

“Hmm? What’s this romantic moment?” A new voice cut in.

“Romantic moment?” Sarah yelled with a little blush. “What are you talking about!?”

“Isn’t that obvious?” Shokuhou Misaki, the number five level five, asked. “I’m talking about how you two are flirting so much.

“Who's flirting!?”

Misaki grinned at her and ran over to Touma, grabbing onto his left arm like a lover. “Oh? So you aren’t interested in him at all? Not even a little bit? So it doesn’t matter to you if I do this?”

“Not at all!” Sarah hotly denied.

Misaki pulled out one of her remotes from her bag. “Tell the truth.” She commanded in a sing-song voice.

“It bothers me a little. I think he’s kind of cute and find you holding yourself against him kind of irritating.” Sarah said. “Wait. What just happened!? Why did I say that!? What did you make me do!?”

“I just made you tell the truth. It’s not my fault you said something like that.”

“It’s totally your fault!”

“Now, how should I punish you for lying? How about you show your panties?”

“Don’t just ignore what I said! Wait a minute, what are you doing!?” To her horror her hands were reaching down towards her skirt and then slowly pulling it upwards.

“That’s enough!” Touma finally yelled out. Just before something horrible could happen he grabbed Sarah’s arm with his right hand. Her hands stopped rising and she dropped her skirt.

“That was too far!” Sarah yelled. A sword made of fire materialized in her hands and she charged at Misaki, attempting to skewer her on it.

“Stop.” Was all Misaki needed to say. With the push of a button Sarah halted in mid-step and held completely still, her sword of fire still burning in her hands.

“What are you doing to me!?” Sarah demanded. “How is this happening?”

“This is my power.” Misaki explained. “I can control people’s minds.”

“What a despicable power!”

“How rude. Am I the one who just tried to burn another person to death? Isn’t that much more despicable?”

“You deserved it! How could you try and make me do something like that!?”

“You are very quick to get angry aren’t you?” Misaki said. “Now it’s time for your punishment for trying to kill me. Showing your panties isn’t enough so how about I have you strip down completely?”

“I will not!” Sarah yelled. “Even if I can’t move I can still do this!” The sword of fire turned into a more normal looking flame that shot out from her hands at Misaki.

The sound of shattering glass filled the air as Touma stopped the ball of fire from burning Misaki to death. “Stop that!” He yelled. “What the hell do you think you’re doing!? She could have died!”

Misaki clung to Touma’s back. “Thank you. That’s twice in one day you’ve saved my life.”

“You stop it too! Why are you antagonizing her like that?”

“What are you talking about? Don’t you want to see more of her?”

“As if I would!”

Misaki skipped over to Sarah and pressed a button on her remote. “Make an erotic pose.” She said and Sarah had no choice but to follow the order.

“I’ll burn you to cinders!”

“Stop trying to attack me.” Misaki commanded. “I don’t know how you’re making fire when your mind says you aren’t an esper… but as long as I use that command it doesn’t really matter.” She struck a cute pose beside Sarah. “So, how about it? Would you like to enjoy both of us?” She asked Touma.

“I won’t allow that!” Sarah yelled out. “I don’t want my first time to be like this!”

“Who said anything about sex?” Misaki taunted. “I was just going to let him kiss us a few times. What a perverted mind you have.”

“Anybody would assume that you were talking about that! You’re a pervert! A complete pervert!”

“Who’s a pervert? Why don’t you tell us what your most perverted thought is?”

“I really want to try doing that on the beach. No! No, I definitely don’t want that! You just made me say that with your power!”

“There’s no point in denying it to me.”

“I’ll kill you! I swear I’ll kill you eventually!”

“Don’t be silly, how do you intend to kill a level five like me?”

“I’ll find a way! I’m a magician! I can do anything with enough preparation!”

“Magic? Are you really going to try and stop me with those kinds of cheap tricks?”

Touma backed away. Slowly. The girls were so caught up yelling at each other that they didn’t even notice until he was completely gone.

“What the heck was that?” He asked himself when he was finally alone. “Such misfortune.”

Normally I'm pretty confident that I get her right, but I'm not so sure here. Any opinions?

[omega253]

That was perfect, considering her conversation with Misaka at the start of NT8.

Troll Misaki for the win!

[Ilidsor]

Excellent, thanks. Hopefully I'll have the new chapter out by Sunday or Monday. Maybe Tuesday if something comes up.

[tsunade666]

Originally Posted by Gray Servant

Touma handled sword spam from both Fiamma and Birdway just fine. The problem is Gilgamesh's overwhelming physical superiority. Touma won't ever land a hit if Gilgamesh decides to actually move.

True which is why I also said it when considering the fight.

Sword spam of Fiamma is so freaking big and not explosive. Birdway too but what if destroying a noble phantasm result in explosion of prana stored in it. Negating it thoughtlessly would be a problem but your probably right.

It would be a hard fight if Gil starts moving but strength wise. I don't think Gil has strong physical strength unlike the other heroic spirits. He is more of an owner and sword spammer. Not a fighter which is why Shirou manage to win against him on UBW even if its a fluke or Shirou manage to surprise him.

Gil is just too arrogant for his own sake.

Touma can exploit that weakness of him with a surprise attack too.

A good crossover of index/fate is

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8953384/...hth-Contestant

I love this fic. It doesn't felt much force in the interaction between Touma and Kuritsugu though how the heck Touma manage to dimension travel felt a bit force but I let that go. I also like dimension travelling but IB is a problem for that one but initially it needed to be ignore if one needs to accept Touma dimension travelling.

ah.... Omega >_> I'm having problem with your to ascend now. It just doesn't felt right. Too much ooc on the characters and well its AU but I felt that some character are pushing it too the limits. And Touma would just steamroll everything. It doesn't felt right if there is not enough conflict and problem.

I like a story that even if the MC is OP. His OP would be render useless if his in trouble 24/7 that he can't think straight between problems.

Ah. Ilidsor. I like your fic of Touma's busy day. Its really busy

[omega253]

Sorry to hear that, tsunade.

I kind of feel that I really rushed that chapter too....

Gah, it's alright if you don't want to read it anymore. Sometimes it really feels like I screwed the pooch with the character interaction and putting an AU Arc.

I just want to get this Arc over with.....

[tsunade666]

Originally Posted by omega253

Sorry to hear that, tsunade.

I kind of feel that I really rushed that chapter too....

Gah, it's alright if you don't want to read it anymore. Sometimes it really feels like I screwed the pooch with the character interaction and putting an AU Arc.

I just want to get this Arc over with.....

Its not that I don't want to read it anymore ( o_o I stop reading when Tsuchimikado is narrating on how crazy Touma is )

Its just that I love tension in the story OP characters are nice as long as there is still problem that even them can't solve easily.

Remember that I said I love the battle between touma and Index but I don't like when the place they battled with just fix. Its just felt super mary sue if everything is going to be fine.

I love battle. I'm a battle maniac but problems and unexpected turn of event spice up the story more. So I always prefer unexpected twist.

Look at how Othinus wins the game in NT 8. Nothing beats that kind of twist.

Even with enough preparation and no matter how hax your character is. There would be always a flaw and flaw makes a character likable and not a fu*ki*g sue!! YOU HEAR ME YOU DARN BLACKS SWORDSMAN! THAT CAN F*C*ING OVERCOME THE COMMAND OF THE GAME CREATOR!!! F*CKING SUE!

[SmokinFerret88]

Tsun, breathe, breathe, I'm in agreement with you here; so please just breathe.

[omega253]

Ahh, I know what you mean. I already have a big twist planned for the next chapter. Luckily I feel like if I play my cards right, I can just end it in the usual length of 5-6k words.

At this point, I seriously think I need a beta.

And how Othinus won was pretty awesome. I wonder Kamachi's going to pull out next. It seems like every time he gives a new volume, there's yet another mindscrew.

[demino_hellsin]

I wonder why I find Vento so captivating... Not really attractive, just captivating.

[SmokinFerret88]

I wonder why I find Vento so captivating... Not really attractive, just captivating.

It's the same reason why Touma saves people: you don't need a reason to find someone captivating.

[Flere821]

Originally Posted by Shockz

*paradrops in*

Sup, all. I was (admittedly rather narcissistically ) searching for discussions of In Memoriam around the web, and this thread turned up.

It's always nice to get a little unadulterated criticism, especially if it's something I can fix without having to alter or retcon existing material. That said, there were a couple things I wanted to address.

Hi there Shockz Compared to SB a lot of us here might be a bit more lenient and/or have differing opinions about what particularly is a bad thing for Raildex, so hopefully you won't be too put off by sticking around here and reading some of our comments

[omega253]

Right, so I just got a crack fic idea in my head and I'm going to share it with all of you cracky people.

The left hand counterpart to the Holy Right is......

Crazy Hand. From Super Smash Bros.

As in, the giant white glove that can do weird crap.

You may all proceed to imagine the crackiness.

[SmokinFerret88]

Sorry, no crack ideas coming my way here.

My ass is listening to music to gain some inspiration for future content with Project Darkness.

As it stands, I'm listening to Big Girls Don't Cry......don't ask why and don't you dare judge me.

[rubix22]

Ah, ah...

I remember I had this idea...

I called it 'Weekend at Bersti's'...

Basically, Kihara Kagun was pretty much dead on the onset... so it was up to Touma to drag his dead body around during the events of NT4... and make sure all his scenes would turn out more or less the same...

[Gray Servant]

Oh god that's horrible

I'd read it.

[omega253]

Another crack idea.

A magic spell somehow bypasses Touma's Imagine Breaker and turns him into a shota. Now, with the aid of Stiyl, Tsuchimikado, and other people that don't want to see the Kami-yan Disease: Shota Revision spread, they have to keep him safe from the crazed females that want to 'take care' of him.

[SmokinFerret88]

Kinda tramatising if you think about it. I mean, given Touma's personality and how guilty he felt about not being able to save Kagun during the events in Baggage City, I'd think this would probably be the hardest task he would ever be forced to do.

Carting around dead weight is bad enough, carting around the dead body of the person who helped him save everyone would just be just plain cruel. I can already imagine the backlash of guilt that would remain present in Touma's head the entire time he's forced to do this.

Not sure how I would feel about it, but I'd say it would be pretty heart-wrenching especially since Kagun was a pretty cool fella in my opinion.

A magic spell somehow bypasses Touma's Imagine Breaker and turns him into a shota. Now, with the aid of Stiyl, Tsuchimikado, and other people that don't want to see the Kami-yan Disease: Shota Revision spread, they have to keep him safe from the crazed females that want to 'take care' of him.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell, because I'd read it.

At least this way Birdway stands more of a chance since, you know, he's now in her age-range.

[Ilidsor]

Originally Posted by omega253

Another crack idea.

A magic spell somehow bypasses Touma's Imagine Breaker and turns him into a shota. Now, with the aid of Stiyl, Tsuchimikado, and other people that don't want to see the Kami-yan Disease: Shota Revision spread, they have to keep him safe from the crazed females that want to 'take care' of him.

Musujime would become very happy

[rubix22]

Originally Posted by SmokinFerret88

Kinda tramatising if you think about it. I mean, given Touma's personality and how guilty he felt about not being able to save Kagun during the events in Baggage City, I'd think this would probably be the hardest task he would ever be forced to do.

Well, it was a Super SS idea that's light hearted in delivery... The only reason I thought of it was because of the pun on 'Weekend at Bernie's'...

I guess what I had in mind was for Kagun to trip over himself and instantaneously die for no reason. And Touma, knowing how the events of the novel are supposed to develop, resorts to puppeteer him from his back... In fact, the reason why 'Kagun' insisted Kumokawa to find Touma was because Touma didn't want to carry around Kagun while helping her...

And the fight with Biyori dealing with 'near death' attacks was also a joke in itself.

[omega253]

And some of the onee-san girls (Kanzaki, Oriana, Orsola) would go crazy trying to treat him like a little kid. Touma himself would be somewhere between turning red as a tomato (becoming even more adorable in their eyes) or freaked out and trying to run.

Hell, even Laura and the Royal Family would get in on the chaos.

Not to mention what happens if Touma's class finds out....