Taking the thread in a mildly less dark direction, here's some of that Hayate/Vivio crack that DC requested from me ages ago and I only just got around to writing.
It... er... doesn't exactly fit the canon she, Shigan, and Eagle have put together.
At all.
But if it gets a laugh, I truly don't mind. XD
Spoiler for Unforeseen Complications:
“Lieutenant General Yagami, it’s been too long.” Chrono Harlaown said.
“Chrono, please. We’re friends, you don’t have to stand on decorum when it’s just the two of us.” Hayate Yagami said as she sat in front of the desk of her fellow flag officer and old friend, Admiral Chrono Harlaown.
Chrono smiled softly, but continued, “We are here on business, General. I think ranks are appropriate.”
“… very well, Admiral Harlaown.” Hayate said.
“Thank you.” Chrono. “I know it’s inconvenient, but you’ll have to bear with me for the moment. The top brass has been getting some… disturbing reports about you.”
“What sort?” Hayate asked.
“Keeping unusual hours. Repeatedly seen in the company of a young female recruit. Certain… erm… cases of rumpled uniforms, shall we say? And I believe an ensign saw you coming out of a storage closet last week when your keycard said you were logged into a terminal on the other side of the base.”
“… … … busted, eh?” Hayate said.
“I’m sorry.” Crono said. “I know this must be awkward for you, but you know as well that relationships between flag officers like yourself and lower-ranked members have to be carefully monitored. Amy and I had to do the same thing before she too early retirement to take care of our children; we can’t allow special treatment of recruits by their superiors, you know that.”
“Of course.” Hayate said sadly. “It’s just that… well, the relationship is very young, and admittedly a bit awkward. I had hoped to shield myself and Vivio from the public eye.”
Chrono winced.
“… are you okay?” Hayate asked, not sure what to make of the expression.
“Vivio. You’re… dating Vivio?” Chrono said.
“Yes…” Hayate said doubtfully.
Chrono winced again.
“What was that?” Hayate asked. “Is it… is it her age? Because I’m not doing anything illegal. I won’t lay a finger on her until she’s eighteen. And if it’s her status as my junior officer, obviously that’s why I’m here, so…” Hayate said.
“It’s not that…” Chrono said, still trying not to look Hayate in the eyes. “It’s just… well.”
“… what? Well what?”
Chrono murmured something that couldn’t be quite heard.
“C-Chrono?”
“That’s… kind of a dick move.” Chrono said.
“… … … … eh?”
“It’s a dickish thing to do! Dating your best friend’s daughter? Really?” Chrono asked.
“She’s dating who?” Griffith Lowran, Chrono’s current aide, said as he poked his head into the room.
“Her best friend’s daughter.”
Griffith winced. “Vivio? Wow. Dick move.”
“… that’s… that’s what…” Hayate began. “You’re not concerned with her age, or that she’s my subordin-“
“Her best. Friend’s. Daughter.” Griffith said. “That is just… wow.”
“I know, right?” Chrono said. “Just… gah. It’s just gaaaaah.”
“… … … eh?” Hayate said.
“Dick move. Such a dick move.” Griffith said.
“I’m confused.” Hayate admitted, about ten minutes after such a statement was warranted.
“Look, Hayate, if you want to date someone underage, or someone who’s a subordinate, then that’s workable.” Chrono said. “You have to be very, very cautious about it. Give your relationship a ridiculous amount of transparency to ensure you don’t give her special treatment, don’t break any laws, but if you’re willing to put up with that scrutiny the relationship is permissible. But…”
“Your friend’s daughter.” Griffith said.
“Such a dick move.” Chrono said.
“I… you can’t explain why?” Hayate said.
“Because she’s… well…” Chrono said.
“She’s your friend’s daughter.” Griffith said.
“Really? Wow, dick move.” Vice said, wincing.
“... where did you come from?!” Hayate squeaked, jumping about a foot in the air and turning on Vice. “And why does everyone keep wincing?!”
“I came from outside.” Vice said vaguely. “But what about you? Your best friend’s daughter? Seriously, now?”
“Look, why are you all focusing so much on th-“
“Because it’s such a totally dick move.” Vice said.
“… why?!”
“Because it is.” Griffith said.
“It just is.” Vice said.
“It’s so obvious it doesn’t need explanation, honestly.” Chrono said.
“I would kick your ass.” Vice said without the slightest hesitation.
“But… but why…?” Hayate asked.
“Because it would be a total dick move.” Vice and Griffith said in unison.
“… … I am confused.” Hayate said, thus entering into the running for ‘Understatement of the Year Award’.
“Look. Hayate. It’s like this…” Chrono said. “Dating your friend’s family is a dick move. It just is.”
“But you and Nanoha were friends, and she married your sister…”
“Hayate… when was the last time you saw me really speak to Nanoha? Even be in the same room as her?” Chrono said.
Hayate thought back over the last decades. The Scaglietti crisis, the Einhart Stratos case, the Huckebeins… “… I… can’t recall. Even at work, it was mostly Fate or I that you usually speak too…”
“That’s because it’s been years since I’ve had a genuine conversation with her.” Chrono growled. “She was my friend, and then she… she defiled my little sister…”
“God, what a dick move.” Vice said, patting Chrono on the shoulder.
“Nanoha and Fate couldn’t possibly be happier with each other! Why are you so upset that your sister is happy?” Hayate asked in growing disbelief.
“I’m overjoyed that my sister is happy. I’m happy that she found someone.” Chrono said.
“Then-“
“I’m just not happy that someone found her.” Chrono snarled. “I never thought Nanoha was such a dick, but I can hardly ignore the evidence.”
“She was totally your friend and she still went after your sister like it was nothing.” Vice said sympathetically.
“Dick move.” Griffith said, nodding.
“Why?!” Hayate moaned.
“It just-“ All three men began.
“-is. Yeah, yeah.” Hayate grumbled.
“So, Lt. General. Your… relationship…” Chrono said, saying the word as though it were poisonous. “Is technically not in violation of any military or civilian law, provided you submit to a certain level of scrutiny. You can pursue it as long as you wish… if you’re a dick.”
“Totally.” Vice and Griffith said in unison.
Hayate blinked a few times. She considered saying some words, but honestly, none came to mind.
“Well? If there’s nothing else, I believe our discussions here are concluded.” Chrono said, once again quite suddenly all business. “Good luck with your new relationship, General.”
“… … … thank you?” Hayate said.
***
“And he really just called you that? Right there in his office?” Verossa Acous said, raising one eyebrow in disbelief.
“I know!” Hayate said, sipping her coffee. “It was intensely unprofessional, and frankly insulting... he's not even my superior! We're in different service branches! He had no right to say any of that, but I was caught so off-guard that I didn’t know how to respond.”
“I can hardly blame you.” Verossa said with a slightly uncertain smile. He had met Hayate for lunch following her appointment, to offer her congratulations if it went well and condolence if it went poorly. He was not, at the moment, sure which he was supposed to be offering.
“Of course! You’re among my closest, dearest friends.” Verossa said.
“And… let’s say I were to ask out Carim…”
Verossa winced.
“What!? Why do people keep wincing?!” Hayate said.
“Well, it’s just… I mean…” Verossa said doubtfully. He stopped, staring at Hayate as if sizing her up. “I probably wouldn’t beat you up, but mostly because Vita would crush my bones to powder.”
“… … why?!”
“It’s just… well… I mean… my sister… it’s just… a… a…”
“… dick move?” Hayate asked with a sigh.
“Yes. Yes, that’s about right!” Verossa said. “Thanks.”
“And… just out of curiosity…” Hayate said. “If dating your sister was a… a…”
“Dick move.”
“Yes, that. Then… let’s say your hypothetical daughter was…”
“Such a dick move.”
Hayate sighed. “I am not going to be finding a lot of support among my male acquaintances, am I?”
Verossa’s eyes widened. “Wait, you are dating a friend’s daughter? … Jeez, Hayate. I mean, it’s your life, but honestly, that’s a really—“
“Yes, I get the point.”
***
“Thank you, Nanoha.” Hayate said, taking the cup of tea from her good friend. “I’ll confess, I was expecting to get some flak from people when… you know, the relationship… became known. I understand it’s not really… normal. I can admit that. But I wasn’t expecting such a wall of… well, I guess ‘accepting scorn’. It’s like nothing I’ve experienced. Nobody was openly upset, but they kept telling me I was being a horrible person.”
“I wonder why?” Nanoha asked. “I mean, really. I’ll confess that, as her mother, I feel a bit strange about Vivio seeing you. But I trust and love both of you. I know that if you truly want to be with each other, then you deserve your chance to be happy. It may be… unorthodox. But I wish you and Vivio nothing but happ-.”
Yuuno winced.
“Gaaaaaaaah!” Hayate and Nanoha said, jumping.
“Y-Yuuno?! Where did you come from?” Nanoha squeaked.
“Outside.” Yuuno said. “But… did I hear that correctly? Hayate is… is…”
“… I suppose it’s become public knowledge at this point.” Nanoha said. “Hayate and… and Vivio have begun a relationship. And Fate and I have our misgivings, but we support th—are you okay?” She said, as Yuuno winced again.
“I’m… okay.” Yuuno said, though he was noticeably making an effort to not look directly at Hayate.
“Nanoha, maybe I should go.” Hayate said, standing up.
“No! Absolutely not!” Nanoha said, placing her hand on Hayate's shoulder to push her back onto the sofa. “Hayate, you are going to stay here. Yuuno, you are going to explain why every man we know has been treating Hayate like a pariah!”
“It’s… well. Have you ever…” Yuuno began. “It’s hard to explain. It’s like… well, I mean… it’s good that Vivio is happy. And it’s good that Hayate is happy. But… that they’re happy together, is… well, Hayate, Vivio is your friend’s daughter and the whole thing is… well… dating her is…”
“I… get the picture.” Hayate said wearily.
“No! No, you don’t.” Nanoha said stubbornly. “Yuuno, you haven’t explained what the problem is.”
“You… you don’t know?” Yuuno asked. “I mean, any anger directed at Hayate is for your sake…”
“… … … … what?!”
“Vivio isn’t our daughter. The one Hayate’s being a dick towards…”
“I was wondering when that word would pop up…” Hayate muttered.
“… is you, Nanoha. You and Fate.” Yuuno said, seemingly unwilling to directly look at any other person in the room.
“Yuuno, we’ve given her our blessing. We know there’s some problems, but this is what makes Vivio happy.” Nanoha said, gently but firmly.
“I know, and that’s wonderful, but…” Yuuno said.
“But what?”
“… … … … it’s such a dick move.” Yuuno finally choked out.
“WHY?!” Hayate finally roared. “People have been saying that all damn day! There are a lot of reasons to disapprove of me and Vivio! I know it, she knows it, and God knows it’s going to be damn struggle to fight through it. If you’re going to disapprove, then go ahead! I’m ready for it! But for the love of all that’s HOLY, would you GIVE ME A REAL REASON?!”
Yuuno sighed. “All right. Okay. It’s hard to explain exactly why… it’s like… like… well, it’s how guys work. We know our friends, all right? And we know our family.
Yuuno sighed, as if this next part would be a real, physical effort to say. “And… and we know our friends aren’t good enough for our family.”
“Of course they are!” Nanoha said. “Hayate is… she couldn’t be better for Vivio. She’s kind, and gentle, and wise, and she genuinely cares for her. Of course she’s good enough for Vivio!”
“Is she? Is she really?” Yuuno asked. “Think about Hayate. Not about her good points, but about all the things you only know about because you’re her friend.”
“Well… I mean… um… she’s a bit… into cosplay? But that’s not bad… except when the costumes get extremely oversexualized. Which is always. And… well, there’s the groping. Which… is just affectionate teasing, I’m sure. Except it hasn’t stopped, even though she’s almost thirty and she’s in a relationship now. And she ignores it when people ask her to stop. Which doesn’t speak well for either her maturity or her self-control, really. But really, I know she’s mature, no matter how she acts in private! I’ve seen how hard she works! … really hard. All the time. In fact, she works most of the day. Takes so little free-time. Not really enough to maintain a relationship, I worry. So… so she works constantly and on the rare occasion she isn’t working, she’s sort of immature.”
Yuuno put a hand on her shoulder. “And now, picture that person dating your daughter. Not the elegant, dignified general. Not the person who has made you smile since you were kids. Picture the real Hayate dating your family.”
Nanoha pictured it.
She pictured it for roughly fifteen minutes of the most agonizing silence Hayate could have possibly imagined.
“It…” She finally said, in a voice barely above a whisper. “It can’t be that bad…”
“And it probably won’t be,” Yuuno admitted. “But deep in your mind, you’ll always think it is. On some primal level, you’ll always be aware that your buddy, with all her many, many, many flaws...”
“Not that many…” Hayate muttered, but there was no force behind the statement.
“… is dating your little girl. And she did it, filling you with this worry for the rest of their time together, even though she’s your friend. And Nanoha… what do you really think of that?”
Nanoha blinked a few times. “It’s… it’s rather… it’s rather inconsiderate, I-I suppose…”
“No, Nanoha.” Yuuno said gently. “It’s a total dick move.”
Nanoha looked at Hayate as if seeing her for the first time.
“I… I think I should leave.” Hayate said.
“Maybe you should.” Nanoha said, staring into Hayate’s eyes with… frankly unnerving intensity.
“Like… go home. Get some rest.”
“Maybe.”
“It’s been a very busy day. I’m… I’m rather tired…” Hayate said, taking several steps backwards toward the door. She was afraid to break eye contact with Nanoha for fear the other woman might go for her spine if she exposed it, but she also felt a driving need to escape. “I’ll talk to you later…”
“Don’t push yourself.” Nanoha said very, very quietly.
Hayate turned and ran for the door, sensing that speed was more important than safety at this point. She opened the door and ran out, leaving it swinging behind her.
***
“Mama says you’re not invited for Christmas Dinner anymore. It’s cancelled, in fact. She wouldn’t say why.” Vivio said.
“I figured that.” Hayate said glumly.
“She said you don’t have to come over on Fridays for drinks and games, either. That she ‘understands how busy you are’.” Vivio said.
“Not a shock.”
“And she has said that it’s kind of… um… hard on her shoes to walk all the way to your door, so she’s going to start dropping Vita off down the street from your house after training sessions.”
“I’ll… I’ll tell Vita.”
“… … … … … … … did you two have a fight?”
“I think for it to be a fight, I really needed to have some hope of winning.” Hayate said.
“Um… do you want me to leave you alone for a bit?” Vivio asked. “I wanted to see if you wanted to go out, but you… don’t seem in the mood.”
“… yeah, I think moping is the order of the day.” Hayate said, smiling sadly. “Sorry, Vivi. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”
Vivio smiled and leaned forward to kiss her girlfriend on the cheek. “I hope you feel better tomorrow, then.” She stood, walking toward the door, before halting briefly. “Um… Hayate… a quick question.”
“Hmmm?”
“Well, I saw Zafira on my way here. You hadn’t told him about us?”
“Um… no, the others know, but we’ve been out of the house at incompatible hours lately. I haven’t had the chance to sit down with him. Why do you ask?” Hayate said.
“Because I kinda let is slip, and he… well… he winced, and then said something under his breath. I’m not sure what it was, but…”
Hayate buried her hand in her heads and sighed. “I can guess.”
Spoiler for Author's Note:
What can I say?
Such a dick move
And I like how you took canon to the cracky conclusion and made Chrono giving the same treatment to Nanoha all these years. Pity there's not much of a Groper Hayate jokes...
Taking the thread in a mildly less dark direction, here's some of that Hayate/Vivio crack that DC requested from me ages ago and I only just got around to writing.
It... er... doesn't exactly fit the canon she, Shigan, and Eagle have put together.
At all.
But if it gets a laugh, I truly don't mind. XD
Spoiler for Unforeseen Complications:
“Lieutenant General Yagami, it’s been too long.” Chrono Harlaown said.
“Chrono, please. We’re friends, you don’t have to stand on decorum when it’s just the two of us.” Hayate Yagami said as she sat in front of the desk of her fellow flag officer and old friend, Admiral Chrono Harlaown.
Chrono smiled softly, but continued, “We are here on business, General. I think ranks are appropriate.”
“… very well, Admiral Harlaown.” Hayate said.
“Thank you.” Chrono. “I know it’s inconvenient, but you’ll have to bear with me for the moment. The top brass has been getting some… disturbing reports about you.”
“What sort?” Hayate asked.
“Keeping unusual hours. Repeatedly seen in the company of a young female recruit. Certain… erm… cases of rumpled uniforms, shall we say? And I believe an ensign saw you coming out of a storage closet last week when your keycard said you were logged into a terminal on the other side of the base.”
“… … … busted, eh?” Hayate said.
“I’m sorry.” Crono said. “I know this must be awkward for you, but you know as well that relationships between flag officers like yourself and lower-ranked members have to be carefully monitored. Amy and I had to do the same thing before she too early retirement to take care of our children; we can’t allow special treatment of recruits by their superiors, you know that.”
“Of course.” Hayate said sadly. “It’s just that… well, the relationship is very young, and admittedly a bit awkward. I had hoped to shield myself and Vivio from the public eye.”
Chrono winced.
“… are you okay?” Hayate asked, not sure what to make of the expression.
“Vivio. You’re… dating Vivio?” Chrono said.
“Yes…” Hayate said doubtfully.
Chrono winced again.
“What was that?” Hayate asked. “Is it… is it her age? Because I’m not doing anything illegal. I won’t lay a finger on her until she’s eighteen. And if it’s her status as my junior officer, obviously that’s why I’m here, so…” Hayate said.
“It’s not that…” Chrono said, still trying not to look Hayate in the eyes. “It’s just… well.”
“… what? Well what?”
Chrono murmured something that couldn’t be quite heard.
“C-Chrono?”
“That’s… kind of a dick move.” Chrono said.
“… … … … eh?”
“It’s a dickish thing to do! Dating your best friend’s daughter? Really?” Chrono asked.
“She’s dating who?” Griffith Lowran, Chrono’s current aide, said as he poked his head into the room.
“Her best friend’s daughter.”
Griffith winced. “Vivio? Wow. Dick move.”
“… that’s… that’s what…” Hayate began. “You’re not concerned with her age, or that she’s my subordin-“
“Her best. Friend’s. Daughter.” Griffith said. “That is just… wow.”
“I know, right?” Chrono said. “Just… gah. It’s just gaaaaah.”
“… … … eh?” Hayate said.
“Dick move. Such a dick move.” Griffith said.
“I’m confused.” Hayate admitted, about ten minutes after such a statement was warranted.
“Look, Hayate, if you want to date someone underage, or someone who’s a subordinate, then that’s workable.” Chrono said. “You have to be very, very cautious about it. Give your relationship a ridiculous amount of transparency to ensure you don’t give her special treatment, don’t break any laws, but if you’re willing to put up with that scrutiny the relationship is permissible. But…”
“Your friend’s daughter.” Griffith said.
“Such a dick move.” Chrono said.
“I… you can’t explain why?” Hayate said.
“Because she’s… well…” Chrono said.
“She’s your friend’s daughter.” Griffith said.
“Really? Wow, dick move.” Vice said, wincing.
“... where did you come from?!” Hayate squeaked, jumping about a foot in the air and turning on Vice. “And why does everyone keep wincing?!”
“I came from outside.” Vice said vaguely. “But what about you? Your best friend’s daughter? Seriously, now?”
“Look, why are you all focusing so much on th-“
“Because it’s such a totally dick move.” Vice said.
“… why?!”
“Because it is.” Griffith said.
“It just is.” Vice said.
“It’s so obvious it doesn’t need explanation, honestly.” Chrono said.
“I would kick your ass.” Vice said without the slightest hesitation.
“But… but why…?” Hayate asked.
“Because it would be a total dick move.” Vice and Griffith said in unison.
“… … I am confused.” Hayate said, thus entering into the running for ‘Understatement of the Year Award’.
“Look. Hayate. It’s like this…” Chrono said. “Dating your friend’s family is a dick move. It just is.”
“But you and Nanoha were friends, and she married your sister…”
“Hayate… when was the last time you saw me really speak to Nanoha? Even be in the same room as her?” Chrono said.
Hayate thought back over the last decades. The Scaglietti crisis, the Einhart Stratos case, the Huckebeins… “… I… can’t recall. Even at work, it was mostly Fate or I that you usually speak too…”
“That’s because it’s been years since I’ve had a genuine conversation with her.” Chrono growled. “She was my friend, and then she… she defiled my little sister…”
“God, what a dick move.” Vice said, patting Chrono on the shoulder.
“Nanoha and Fate couldn’t possibly be happier with each other! Why are you so upset that your sister is happy?” Hayate asked in growing disbelief.
“I’m overjoyed that my sister is happy. I’m happy that she found someone.” Chrono said.
“Then-“
“I’m just not happy that someone found her.” Chrono snarled. “I never thought Nanoha was such a dick, but I can hardly ignore the evidence.”
“She was totally your friend and she still went after your sister like it was nothing.” Vice said sympathetically.
“Dick move.” Griffith said, nodding.
“Why?!” Hayate moaned.
“It just-“ All three men began.
“-is. Yeah, yeah.” Hayate grumbled.
“So, Lt. General. Your… relationship…” Chrono said, saying the word as though it were poisonous. “Is technically not in violation of any military or civilian law, provided you submit to a certain level of scrutiny. You can pursue it as long as you wish… if you’re a dick.”
“Totally.” Vice and Griffith said in unison.
Hayate blinked a few times. She considered saying some words, but honestly, none came to mind.
“Well? If there’s nothing else, I believe our discussions here are concluded.” Chrono said, once again quite suddenly all business. “Good luck with your new relationship, General.”
“… … … thank you?” Hayate said.
***
“And he really just called you that? Right there in his office?” Verossa Acous said, raising one eyebrow in disbelief.
“I know!” Hayate said, sipping her coffee. “It was intensely unprofessional, and frankly insulting... he's not even my superior! We're in different service branches! He had no right to say any of that, but I was caught so off-guard that I didn’t know how to respond.”
“I can hardly blame you.” Verossa said with a slightly uncertain smile. He had met Hayate for lunch following her appointment, to offer her congratulations if it went well and condolence if it went poorly. He was not, at the moment, sure which he was supposed to be offering.
“Of course! You’re among my closest, dearest friends.” Verossa said.
“And… let’s say I were to ask out Carim…”
Verossa winced.
“What!? Why do people keep wincing?!” Hayate said.
“Well, it’s just… I mean…” Verossa said doubtfully. He stopped, staring at Hayate as if sizing her up. “I probably wouldn’t beat you up, but mostly because Vita would crush my bones to powder.”
“… … why?!”
“It’s just… well… I mean… my sister… it’s just… a… a…”
“… dick move?” Hayate asked with a sigh.
“Yes. Yes, that’s about right!” Verossa said. “Thanks.”
“And… just out of curiosity…” Hayate said. “If dating your sister was a… a…”
“Dick move.”
“Yes, that. Then… let’s say your hypothetical daughter was…”
“Such a dick move.”
Hayate sighed. “I am not going to be finding a lot of support among my male acquaintances, am I?”
Verossa’s eyes widened. “Wait, you are dating a friend’s daughter? … Jeez, Hayate. I mean, it’s your life, but honestly, that’s a really—“
“Yes, I get the point.”
***
“Thank you, Nanoha.” Hayate said, taking the cup of tea from her good friend. “I’ll confess, I was expecting to get some flak from people when… you know, the relationship… became known. I understand it’s not really… normal. I can admit that. But I wasn’t expecting such a wall of… well, I guess ‘accepting scorn’. It’s like nothing I’ve experienced. Nobody was openly upset, but they kept telling me I was being a horrible person.”
“I wonder why?” Nanoha asked. “I mean, really. I’ll confess that, as her mother, I feel a bit strange about Vivio seeing you. But I trust and love both of you. I know that if you truly want to be with each other, then you deserve your chance to be happy. It may be… unorthodox. But I wish you and Vivio nothing but happ-.”
Yuuno winced.
“Gaaaaaaaah!” Hayate and Nanoha said, jumping.
“Y-Yuuno?! Where did you come from?” Nanoha squeaked.
“Outside.” Yuuno said. “But… did I hear that correctly? Hayate is… is…”
“… I suppose it’s become public knowledge at this point.” Nanoha said. “Hayate and… and Vivio have begun a relationship. And Fate and I have our misgivings, but we support th—are you okay?” She said, as Yuuno winced again.
“I’m… okay.” Yuuno said, though he was noticeably making an effort to not look directly at Hayate.
“Nanoha, maybe I should go.” Hayate said, standing up.
“No! Absolutely not!” Nanoha said, placing her hand on Hayate's shoulder to push her back onto the sofa. “Hayate, you are going to stay here. Yuuno, you are going to explain why every man we know has been treating Hayate like a pariah!”
“It’s… well. Have you ever…” Yuuno began. “It’s hard to explain. It’s like… well, I mean… it’s good that Vivio is happy. And it’s good that Hayate is happy. But… that they’re happy together, is… well, Hayate, Vivio is your friend’s daughter and the whole thing is… well… dating her is…”
“I… get the picture.” Hayate said wearily.
“No! No, you don’t.” Nanoha said stubbornly. “Yuuno, you haven’t explained what the problem is.”
“You… you don’t know?” Yuuno asked. “I mean, any anger directed at Hayate is for your sake…”
“… … … … what?!”
“Vivio isn’t our daughter. The one Hayate’s being a dick towards…”
“I was wondering when that word would pop up…” Hayate muttered.
“… is you, Nanoha. You and Fate.” Yuuno said, seemingly unwilling to directly look at any other person in the room.
“Yuuno, we’ve given her our blessing. We know there’s some problems, but this is what makes Vivio happy.” Nanoha said, gently but firmly.
“I know, and that’s wonderful, but…” Yuuno said.
“But what?”
“… … … … it’s such a dick move.” Yuuno finally choked out.
“WHY?!” Hayate finally roared. “People have been saying that all damn day! There are a lot of reasons to disapprove of me and Vivio! I know it, she knows it, and God knows it’s going to be damn struggle to fight through it. If you’re going to disapprove, then go ahead! I’m ready for it! But for the love of all that’s HOLY, would you GIVE ME A REAL REASON?!”
Yuuno sighed. “All right. Okay. It’s hard to explain exactly why… it’s like… like… well, it’s how guys work. We know our friends, all right? And we know our family.
Yuuno sighed, as if this next part would be a real, physical effort to say. “And… and we know our friends aren’t good enough for our family.”
“Of course they are!” Nanoha said. “Hayate is… she couldn’t be better for Vivio. She’s kind, and gentle, and wise, and she genuinely cares for her. Of course she’s good enough for Vivio!”
“Is she? Is she really?” Yuuno asked. “Think about Hayate. Not about her good points, but about all the things you only know about because you’re her friend.”
“Well… I mean… um… she’s a bit… into cosplay? But that’s not bad… except when the costumes get extremely oversexualized. Which is always. And… well, there’s the groping. Which… is just affectionate teasing, I’m sure. Except it hasn’t stopped, even though she’s almost thirty and she’s in a relationship now. And she ignores it when people ask her to stop. Which doesn’t speak well for either her maturity or her self-control, really. But really, I know she’s mature, no matter how she acts in private! I’ve seen how hard she works! … really hard. All the time. In fact, she works most of the day. Takes so little free-time. Not really enough to maintain a relationship, I worry. So… so she works constantly and on the rare occasion she isn’t working, she’s sort of immature.”
Yuuno put a hand on her shoulder. “And now, picture that person dating your daughter. Not the elegant, dignified general. Not the person who has made you smile since you were kids. Picture the real Hayate dating your family.”
Nanoha pictured it.
She pictured it for roughly fifteen minutes of the most agonizing silence Hayate could have possibly imagined.
“It…” She finally said, in a voice barely above a whisper. “It can’t be that bad…”
“And it probably won’t be,” Yuuno admitted. “But deep in your mind, you’ll always think it is. On some primal level, you’ll always be aware that your buddy, with all her many, many, many flaws...”
“Not that many…” Hayate muttered, but there was no force behind the statement.
“… is dating your little girl. And she did it, filling you with this worry for the rest of their time together, even though she’s your friend. And Nanoha… what do you really think of that?”
Nanoha blinked a few times. “It’s… it’s rather… it’s rather inconsiderate, I-I suppose…”
“No, Nanoha.” Yuuno said gently. “It’s a total dick move.”
Nanoha looked at Hayate as if seeing her for the first time.
“I… I think I should leave.” Hayate said.
“Maybe you should.” Nanoha said, staring into Hayate’s eyes with… frankly unnerving intensity.
“Like… go home. Get some rest.”
“Maybe.”
“It’s been a very busy day. I’m… I’m rather tired…” Hayate said, taking several steps backwards toward the door. She was afraid to break eye contact with Nanoha for fear the other woman might go for her spine if she exposed it, but she also felt a driving need to escape. “I’ll talk to you later…”
“Don’t push yourself.” Nanoha said very, very quietly.
Hayate turned and ran for the door, sensing that speed was more important than safety at this point. She opened the door and ran out, leaving it swinging behind her.
***
“Mama says you’re not invited for Christmas Dinner anymore. It’s cancelled, in fact. She wouldn’t say why.” Vivio said.
“I figured that.” Hayate said glumly.
“She said you don’t have to come over on Fridays for drinks and games, either. That she ‘understands how busy you are’.” Vivio said.
“Not a shock.”
“And she has said that it’s kind of… um… hard on her shoes to walk all the way to your door, so she’s going to start dropping Vita off down the street from your house after training sessions.”
“I’ll… I’ll tell Vita.”
“… … … … … … … did you two have a fight?”
“I think for it to be a fight, I really needed to have some hope of winning.” Hayate said.
“Um… do you want me to leave you alone for a bit?” Vivio asked. “I wanted to see if you wanted to go out, but you… don’t seem in the mood.”
“… yeah, I think moping is the order of the day.” Hayate said, smiling sadly. “Sorry, Vivi. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”
Vivio smiled and leaned forward to kiss her girlfriend on the cheek. “I hope you feel better tomorrow, then.” She stood, walking toward the door, before halting briefly. “Um… Hayate… a quick question.”
“Hmmm?”
“Well, I saw Zafira on my way here. You hadn’t told him about us?”
“Um… no, the others know, but we’ve been out of the house at incompatible hours lately. I haven’t had the chance to sit down with him. Why do you ask?” Hayate said.
“Because I kinda let is slip, and he… well… he winced, and then said something under his breath. I’m not sure what it was, but…”
Hayate buried her hand in her heads and sighed. “I can guess.”
Spoiler for Author's Note:
What can I say?
Maybe I'm a too serious guy, but I honestly can't laugh from this. It was funny at the beginning, but then everything just spirals... The logic here Yuuno presented is so terribly wrong, not to mention unjust, that I'm starting to feel the beginnings of a anger-induced heart attack. I'm not even going to start with the why...
Nanoha's reaction in the end is just...
I know this is a crack and that it is really well written but sorry, really can't read it a second time.
Maybe I'm a too serious guy, but I honestly can't laugh from this. It was funny at the beginning, but then everything just spirals... The logic here Yuuno presented is so terribly wrong, not to mention unjust, that I'm starting to feel the beginnings of a anger-induced heart attack. I'm not even going to start with the why...
Nanoha's reaction in the end is just...
I know this is a crack and that it is really well written but sorry, really can't read it a second time.
Unfortunately, you are not the only one with the anger-induced heart attack. I, like Dezo, prefer if Nanoha didn't get it to stick with the gender-induced gag.
If Moczo extends his story and tells how Hayate committed suicide and still they talk about that, then it'll be epic and not just a mere crack. No, the story'll be complete.
Location: Pennsylvania. It's sort of like a real state.
Age: 39
Erm, sorry, but I'm not going to continue it and kill Hayate. I wrote it as a humor piece explicitly as a favor to deathcurse, and I didn't post it until she personally approved it. I'm certainly not going to alter a piece she enjoyed that much to make it the exact opposite of what she's already said she liked.
Location: Place of rocks and trees, and trees and rocks...and water.
Age: 33
Well, honestly, the idea of disliking anyone for such a reason isn't something I'd condone at all . But it's crack, so I turn off my moral brain and look at it from a humourous perspective. And it's crack from Moczo, which means that it just keeps crossing the lines and turns even funnier with each paragraph. Amorally, of course .
My Evil Overlord mentor had taught me that humour is based on the reaction of the characters to issues that normally would not get those reactions, and the juxtaposition is what makes it funny . So guys (and Nanoha) treating Hayate badly due to the fact that she's in love with Vivio? Not cool. The fact that they're all taking this "dick move" business so seriously (when it's really not)? Hilarious .
Location: Pennsylvania. It's sort of like a real state.
Age: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse
Well, honestly, the idea of disliking anyone for such a reason isn't something I'd condone at all . But it's crack, so I turn off my moral brain and look at it from a humourous perspective. And it's crack from Moczo, which means that it just keeps crossing the lines and turns even funnier with each paragraph. Amorally, of course .
My Evil Overlord mentor had taught me that humour is based on the reaction of the characters to issues that normally would not get those reactions, and the juxtaposition is what makes it funny . So guys (and Nanoha) treating Hayate badly due to the fact that she's in love with Vivio? Not cool. The fact that they're all taking this "dick move" business so seriously (when it's really not)? Hilarious .
Or maybe I have a morbid/twisted sense of humour?
Hee hee.
Thanks, and yeah... it's not a fic that is meant to be taken remotely seriously.
There are reasons not to date a close friend's family member. A lot of reasons, many of which are perfectly valid and a big part of the reason why I, personally, would never consider it.
These reasons are considerably better than 'it's a dick move'.
Okay, I just read like 20 pages of backlog or so. I've been away doing stuff; mostly playing games, although I did marathon Puella Magi Madoka Magicka last night.
Anyway, I did read all of it, and I must say that everyone who was writing was doing quite well .
The next morning was Monday. The girls awoke bright and early and prepped for school whilst Shamal and Signum cooked a simple breakfast of rice, miso soup, and some Tamagoyaki with radish. Breakfast was a quiet affair - although Fate and Nanoha were energetic, Hayate wasn't a morning person so her words mostly consisted of grumbles and growls. They ate quickly and hurried out, taking the walk to the metro for their school across the city. Zafira escorted them, ever the vigilant protector, and certainly a giant dog prevented people from approaching too close to the girls.
Zafira split when the girls stepped on the train, but they kept close to a certain redhead dressed in an elementary school outfit. It was funny how Fate's school uniform fit Vita so well, but it suited the girl to appear normal. The school she "attended" was also close to the one that the girls were headed for. Vita acted nonchalant as she sat listening to an iPod, occsaionally flicking her eyes toward Hayate as the ride dragged on. Perverts were always abundant on these cramped trains, but any lechers seemed to give the girls enough space.
The doors opened and the girls shuffled out. Vita joined a throng of elementary school students and headed off in the other direction, but like clockwork Shamal stepped in behind, dressed in a business suit and blending in perfectly with the crowd of adults. Nanoha suppressed a grin as Shamal "talked" on a cell phone, acting as normal as possible while guarding her Mistress.
It was well known that between the three, the girls wouldn't need any protection, but Hayate enjoyed the company of her knights, doing their duty as guardians without being obvious about it. Each of them had melded into their various roles that Hayate had assigned them seamlessly, as she was able to easily pick out which of them would look best at their role. The young mage remembered with amusement how last year, her knights posed as police, standing at crosswalks that conveniently went the same direction as Hayate's school (except Vita, who stood on a skyscraper acting as overwatch). They dropped the roles when people started asking questions, but they quickly found new disguises.
Shamal turned and headed down another sidewalk toward one of the larger buildings, leaving the girls alone. The loss of protection was only temporary, however, as Signum sat along their path on a bench, reading the morning paper. She noted with only the slightest movement at the girls' approach, acting really interested in what she was reading.
"Good morning," Hayate said, acting as if she never met Signum before.
"Good morning, Mi-" Signum cut herself short, looking away from her Mistress. Hayate giggled at the almost-slip, Fate and Nanoha acting as if they heard nothing.
As the girls walked away, they were finally alone for the last stretch toward school. It was then that the girls loosened up a bit, smiling at each other.
"Always protected, Mistress," Nanoha joked, causing Hayate to blush slightly. Nanoha laughed and raised her arms up, stretching. "Aah, not really looking forward to school today."
"Who does?" Fate said, staring at the school building as its gates rose up to meet them. "I'd rather be doing combat drills than be here."
"At least you two get a class together," Nanoha pointed out. "I get to be all by myself halfway across the building."
"Aw, Nano-chan, we're always with you!" Hayate turned around and pulled Nanoha into a tight hug. "We're always in your heart~"
"S-stop that, Hayate-chan!" Nanoha exclaimed, eliciting a giggle out of the teasing girl. "Always so touchy!"
"But you like it don't you, Na-no-ha~" Hayate giggled again. Nanoha started to blush darkly and tried to pull the girl off of her.
"Mou, Hayate, we're going to be late for homeroom," Fate complained, helping Nanoha pry the brunette off of her.
"No fun, no fun~" Hayate continued teasing. Laughing, the three girls ran past the school gates, beginning the school day with a burst of energy.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Meanwhile...
I recall a pulling sensation, something like falling. It was a feeling that should be impossible, given my current location. I slowly pulled myself together as I felt the tendrils of magic begin to pull at my coffin, my myriad of souls coming together to reform my body. It was a strange feeling as my body reconstituted itself for the first time in millenia, and I moved my arms and legs just to regain the feeling of having them.
My coffin fell through the dimensions, pulled out of Jupiter's core like a vegetable being pulled out of the ground. I felt a familiar sinking feeling as I fell into the space between dimensions, an area of pure chaos, where raw plasma and pure magic flowed together like water, becoming something like the energy that formed the Big Band, yet was totally different at the same time. It was hard to describe the sensations I felt; imagine hearing with your sense of smell, feeling with your sight, or smelling ozone with your hearing. It was a total mindscrew for your average person, and people who were unfortunate to be caught in what we called the Malestrom would get to go mad before they died.
I hit cold hard ground with a loud thud... well, my coffin did. I couldn't imagine the shockwave it sent across whatever I hit - the force of the Malestrom accelerated everything to a minimum of half of light speed, so I figured that whatever crater I just caused probably made the planet I more than likely hit have a major facelift. Only my defensive magics prevented me from barreling through the crust into the core of this world.
There was a long pause, which I filled with by looking around the dark room, casting some rudimentary Light spells of various colors, seeing once again. I created the smell of strawberries, my favorite fruit, and heard myself breathe. After so long in an ethereal form, becoming human again was glorious to say the least.
Curiosity tugged at the back of my head. Did the suspension magics on this coffin simply wear out? Or did someone release me? I sincerely hoped for the latter. I was starving, desperate for a soul after so long without feeding.
My questions slowly started to come to light as I heard the mechanical voice of the coffin call out the programs to unlock the doors. This was no accident, I knew; someone had released me. Elation was tempered by caution; although I doubted that whoever released me could me more powerful than me, it took an incredible magic potential to pull me out from a planet's core, then between dimensions; that said, someone also had to discover me. My Search magics that I had relied on to observe the outside world revealed only a quiet landscape around me; a barren, red landscape, devoid of life. I wondered how I didn't create a crater or horribly maim the planet's surface that I had landed on.
The door opened, and for the first time I breathed in air. It was stale and almost completely devoid of oxygen, but a simple spellcast began to recycle the carbon dioxide into oxygen, giving me breathable air. I stepped out from the coffin slowly, my legs shaking from only moments ago having been nothing but its seperate atoms. A chill swept through me, and I guesstimated that the temperature was about 18 degrees Celsius. I looked down and frowned at my nude form, and quickly cast a spell to create the clothing I had been so well known for: a red and white robe, trimmed with gold; black steel gauntlets; leather pointed boots; and my mask, resembling a creature you would call a "Wolf", though in my time it was something else entirely.
I looked around the red landscape and understanding began to touch me. The dirt beneath me was mostly iron, and with the familiar looking mountain range in the distance, I could surmise I was on Ares. I had fallen between the dimensions, and yet emerged in the same one as my prison - not just that, I had emerged on the fallen capital itself! Surely, this was no accident.
I looked around, but the area around me was devoid of life. The occasional bacteria moved - I could feel their vibrations through the air - but other than that, nothing surrounded me. In the distance, covered mostly by red dirt, I could see the Throne of Souls. I opened a Dimension Door and stepped through it, emerging next to the mammoth structure. Before me lay a tunnel carved into the ground too circular to be anything but a spell, and confidently I strode inside.
The doors to the Throne had been burst open from the outside, obviously suggesting a break-in. I stepped through without pause, taking in my surroundings. It had been a long time since I had been in the Throne, but it looked exactly the same: A circular bank of computers, surrounding an almost violently green, swirling column of countless souls of varying colors. I could see that few souls remained now, less than a hundred, and as my eyes trailed up the column of energy, I could make out a familiar red and grey soul: My surviving Guardians.
This was too good to be true, and the familiar sound of footsteps against the metal floor instantly set me into a defensive stance. I erected a Barrier and a Diamond spell, expecting trouble. But what I half-expected to be a hostile force, perhaps someone who expected me to die, I saw only an old woman - well, that wasn't quite right - but she appeared old. Her hair was dark, not quite black, and her eyes were a deep violet. She was dressed in the most ridiculous getup I had ever seen, but she walked with a defined grace.
I lowered my guard and assume my standard assertive posture, waiting for her to speak. The woman regarded me, and a faint sense of familiarity crossed her face. I questioned it before disregarding it as perhaps her seeing my face on one of the still-active computers. She paused about fifteen meters from me and stared at me, as if sizing me up in case of a fight. I could feel her power - she radiated it - but she made no hostile movements.
"So... you are the one the computers list as Thanatos," she said, her eyes never moving from my mask. "You are just as they say; your power truly is immense."
I was in no mood for flattery. "Who are you, and why have you released me?" I asked, getting to the point. "You obviously know who - what - I am, and yet you have taken me from my prison. Who are you, and what do you want?"
The woman laughed, and I realized then that this woman was mad, touched by the Malestrom yet somehow alive. Her power was immense yet uncontrolled. I frowned; this meant that her soul was nearly worthless. I could use its memories and take a fraction of its power, but if I consumed all of it, then I would go just as mad as her. "My name is Testarossa, and that's all you'll get," she said smugly. "And I have released you because I can use your power."
"And why should I give you even a touch of my power?" I asked, crossing my arms. "You think I should be grateful for you releasing me? I was content to observe the universe grow old and die, and yet you bring me out so you could use me? Ha!" I made a dismissive gesture. "Begone, and I'll let you live."
"Listen to me!" Testarossa shouted. Her eyes went wide and glared. "I care not for what you want to do, but just grant me one thing, and I will leave you alone! I have traveled across the dimensions here to find the power of Al-Hazared, and yet you mock me for releasing you!" She summoned a staff to her hand and pointed it at me. She dared to become hostile?! "Grant me part of your power! Or I will take it from you!"
I was about to have enough of this upstart. She then produced nine small objects. "Do you see these? These are the Jewel Seeds which your civilization used! They provide me with immense power; power to defeat you!" I stared at her then couldn't help but laugh!
"Those?" I asked. "Those pathetic things are what we use to power our most basic of objects!" I reached out and pulled them to me, shocking the violet-eyed mad woman. "I can produce these things in my sleep!" I dropped them to the ground and crushed them underfoot, and then immediately produced fifteen copies swirling around my head.
They were actually illusions, but she didn't need to know that.
"See?" I said to her, doubling my amount. "These things are as if water to me! And yet you threaten me with them? Who the hell do you think I am?!"
I almost regretted the words. The woman warped next to me and hit me with her staff, the magically-empowered blow shattering my mask and sending me flying backward. I regained control and righted myself up, glaring at the woman. She glared back, but then the strangest thing occurred. Her eyes widened disbelivingly, she dropped her staff, and an accusing finger stabbed up at me. "You!" She screamed. "But that's impossible! You're just a child!"
"Hardly," I said, teleporting down to the ground and grabbing the woman by the throat. I lifted both of us into the air and squeezed. "You dare mock with the power of a god, and then call me a child?! How dare you?!"
Testarossa reached out and shoved her hand onto my face. Instantly, I was flooded with the most curious image - it was of myself, only much younger and wearing a strange outfit, with sapphire eyes and wielding a golden staff. Next to me was a blonde girl of the same age, with beautiful red eyes and lush blonde hair, wearing a black outfit designed for speed rather than protection.
How did this woman conjure such an image?
"Nanoha!" A voice yelled in the background; it sounded like a young boy. "Be careful, Precia is very powerful!"
She had my name, the girl did. And she had the potential to be powerful, I could tell just from looking at her. I wondered, and then it hit me.
My soul. This child has my soul.
I dropped Precia. She fell to the ground with a thud. I lowered myself and stared at her. "Who is this girl? Where is she?"
"Give me what I want, and I'll give you what you want," Precia coughed. I had to admire her spirit, no matter how completely bloody insane it was. Even in the face of death, she still demanded payment. I cocked my head sideways and then turned away. I reached into my robe and pulled out a small onyx sphere. This was Nocture, my Magic Augmentation Unit, Type IV... I guess what you would call an Intelligent Device. I named it because of its color.
"Nocturne, show this woman our power," I whispered the words mildly into his heart.
<Yes, Master.> It said in its female voice. <Shall we finish her quickly?>
I looked at Precia. Indeed, I had enough of this upstart. I would take what I want, just as I always had. "Yes, we shall,"
Precia vanished through the floor and rematerialized above me, raising her staff high. An infinite number of magic shots appeared, each one pointed and deadly. "Black Lancer!" She shouted, and the violet bolts screamed at me. I erected a Barrier and used Flash, appearing across the room with my own staff held in both hands. I pointed it at her and began to gather my energy.
"Divine Shooter! I called, and my own storm of magic bolts fired at Precia, their bright green shots clashing with her violet shots. Magical explosions detonated between us, and I could see the Throne of Souls vibrate with the shockwaves.
Something caught my attention only briefly; was that a girl in a crystal?
"Black Smasher!" Precia shifted to a blast spell, gathering four spheres of energy into four seperate magic circles and firing them at me. I took flight, raising higher into the air and along the walls of the Throne. Two of the blasts smashed harmlessly against the wall, but the other two were a direct hit, and I gritted my teeth in pain as the blasts carried me up to the ceiling.
I regained enough self control to dispell the blasts before permanent damage could be done and pointed downward, locking in on Precia as she created illusions of herself to confuse me. An admirable attempt, and I would be fooled if I couldn't attack all of them at once.
Eight green spheres of energy surrounded me. "Divine Buster!" I shouted, sending the beams forth and elimating the illusions before coming around and hitting the real mage form eight different angles. I grinned as I heard Precia's mad scream, but dropped my smirk when she appeared unscathed from the attack.
"Just like her!" She cried, her eyes wide with madness and rage. "You're spells have her names for them!" She lifted her staff. "Black Photon Cannon!"
I marveled as she created thirty of those same blast spells and sent them screaming in my direction from all angles. There was no way to even shift out of this, so I called forth my strongest barrier just in time. The blasts began to beat into my shield, and I could feel Precia's hunger for blood through them.
<She means business.>Nocture quipped.<The time for playing around is over, Master.>
"I agree," I replied, shifting my Device into a form that resembled what you would call a rifle. "Time to Break her."
I began to gather the collective energy of the area, sacrificing one of my souls in the process. My Device started charging, and I could feel my weapon heat up with energy. I dropped my shield and let the energy of the spells course into me. Pain, unholy pain, ripped into me, and I felt my robes disintegrate until only the middle of them and my boots remained.
I locked onto Precia. "Starlight Breaker Alpha," I whispered. "Break, shoot." A thin green energy beam, powerful enough to tear a city block asunder, screamed for Precia at half the speed of light, penetrating her body and ripping her in half with its force alone. The blast widened, destroying everything under her heart, and as the blast subsided, she fell to the ground.
I shifted my Device back into Storage Form and landed, staring down at the... she was alive?!
I again marveled at Precia as she reached for me with futility, blood seeping out of everything. "Alicia..." she gasped. I knelt next to the woman and stared at her. Alicia must be the girl in the crystal, I surmised. Maybe her daughter? I wasn't sure but it was likely. I saw tears in Precia's eyes and I knew that in her last moments, she was regaining her sanity. Of course, death does that to someone.
I touched Precia's heart and felt her energy from her soul slowly fading out. "I will take her under my wing," I told the woman. "She will live. That is your wish."
Hey, I could use the apprentice. Also, I was starving.
"Soul Shackles," I whispered, and Precia gasped as I ripped her soul out of her body and took it in as my own. I instantly absorbed her memories, her personality, and her force of being itself as she and I became one. I sifted through the memories, coming back to the girl I saw in the vision she gave me.
Nanoha... Takamachi. That was the blue-white I saw in the vision. I saw her spells, heard their names, and knew that, somehow, my soul had found a small child and became it. This girl who knew nothing of what she had inherited.
I smiled. In a way, I lived on.
Also, it provided an easy out. Should I ever be defeated... well, one can always reclaim their soul.
Precia's body expired, and her essence became distilled into my body. Her energy sustained me, like a great feast to a starving man, and I felt refreshed. I pocketed my Device and reformed my clothing, stood up, and looked about the room. In the corner, was the crystal with the girl. I began to move toward it.
Spoiler for Author Notes:
The focus was less on Nanoha and Co. for this scene because it was supposed to show the difference in what is going on between here and there.
I always imagined that the Knights kept a close eye on Hayate no matter what. I imagine that with Hayate's implied cosplay abilities, she would be able to disguise them effectively, and so this is what I came up with.
Originally, the girls were going to walk to school, but I wanted to put the school across the city from them in order for future events to occur.
If you really want a good idea of where the school is, it's basically across town from everyone, but I can't give you a good location.
The scene with the girls had a lot of filler before I cut it out due to it not adding a whole lot to character development. If you must know, it was mostly descriptions of the immediate area surrounding the girls rather than the characters themselves.
Vita wasn't originally in this scene until I stumbled across an old fanart I used to have of her wearing Hayate's uniform. I turned it into Fate's because I don't imagine that the girls were all proportioned exactly the same when they were 9... and also I rolled a 1d4-1.
Shamal in a business suit actually comes from a fanart of her dressed up as Ritsuko Akagi from Evangelion. Why it turned into a business suit I don't know, but that's how it happened.
Signum reading a paper comes from the fact that she's in my mind the most responsible of the knights, even though they're all about equal. She seems to me to be the most mature of the Knights - obviously more than Vita, but with Shamal it could be a close race.
Originally, Zafira was going to be in his human form, but the idea of a teenage girl with a bigass wolf escorting her was just too much for me not to do. It just seemed awesome.
Scene 2 is a rewrite of my original pitch for Morrigan's character.
I decided that Morrigan (or Thanatos as she's called right now) would be written from the first person; you almost never get antagonists written this way, so I decided to try something different.
Morrigan's thinking is very analytical, and you're only getting a fraction of her conscious thought. She can think on several levels, but writing all of them out would boggle the human mind, or so I like to think.
In the MSLN movie, Precia is listed as rank SS... I wanted to show that she could fight, even while insane, if only because of her immense power.
Precia's spells are obviously "evil" versions of Fate's. I did that because Fate had to get the ideas from somewhere, and why not "dearest mommy"?
Morrigan's spells being named after Nanoha's (or rather the other way around in this 'verse) is obviously to show their connection. The fact that they're green rather than pink shows their difference, although its a subtle one.
Sacrificing a soul to fire Starlight Breaker Alpha shows that Morrigan considered Precia a true threat, one that she needed to take out quickly before more damage was done. This is due to Precia's power.
Precia's death is a lot more violent than what I originally had in mind. I figure this must have something to do with just watching Madoka, but it seemed like it would be a good way to show how lethal Morrigan is.
Taking the thread in a mildly less dark direction, here's some of that Hayate/Vivio crack that DC requested from me ages ago and I only just got around to writing.
It... er... doesn't exactly fit the canon she, Shigan, and Eagle have put together.
At all.
But if it gets a laugh, I truly don't mind. XD
Spoiler for Unforeseen Complications:
Yuuno winced.
“Gaaaaaaaah!” Hayate and Nanoha said, jumping.
“Y-Yuuno?! Where did you come from?” Nanoha squeaked.
“Outside.” Yuuno said. “But… did I hear that correctly? Hayate is… is…”
Spoiler for Author's Note:
What can I say?
HEhehehe favourite lines quoted. How Yuuno can audibly wince... XD
Taking the thread in a mildly less dark direction, here's some of that Hayate/Vivio crack that DC requested from me ages ago and I only just got around to writing.
It... er... doesn't exactly fit the canon she, Shigan, and Eagle have put together.
At all.
But if it gets a laugh, I truly don't mind. XD
Spoiler for Unforeseen Complications:
“Lieutenant General Yagami, it’s been too long.” Chrono Harlaown said.
“Chrono, please. We’re friends, you don’t have to stand on decorum when it’s just the two of us.” Hayate Yagami said as she sat in front of the desk of her fellow flag officer and old friend, Admiral Chrono Harlaown.
Chrono smiled softly, but continued, “We are here on business, General. I think ranks are appropriate.”
“… very well, Admiral Harlaown.” Hayate said.
“Thank you.” Chrono. “I know it’s inconvenient, but you’ll have to bear with me for the moment. The top brass has been getting some… disturbing reports about you.”
“What sort?” Hayate asked.
“Keeping unusual hours. Repeatedly seen in the company of a young female recruit. Certain… erm… cases of rumpled uniforms, shall we say? And I believe an ensign saw you coming out of a storage closet last week when your keycard said you were logged into a terminal on the other side of the base.”
“… … … busted, eh?” Hayate said.
“I’m sorry.” Crono said. “I know this must be awkward for you, but you know as well that relationships between flag officers like yourself and lower-ranked members have to be carefully monitored. Amy and I had to do the same thing before she too early retirement to take care of our children; we can’t allow special treatment of recruits by their superiors, you know that.”
“Of course.” Hayate said sadly. “It’s just that… well, the relationship is very young, and admittedly a bit awkward. I had hoped to shield myself and Vivio from the public eye.”
Chrono winced.
“… are you okay?” Hayate asked, not sure what to make of the expression.
“Vivio. You’re… dating Vivio?” Chrono said.
“Yes…” Hayate said doubtfully.
Chrono winced again.
“What was that?” Hayate asked. “Is it… is it her age? Because I’m not doing anything illegal. I won’t lay a finger on her until she’s eighteen. And if it’s her status as my junior officer, obviously that’s why I’m here, so…” Hayate said.
“It’s not that…” Chrono said, still trying not to look Hayate in the eyes. “It’s just… well.”
“… what? Well what?”
Chrono murmured something that couldn’t be quite heard.
“C-Chrono?”
“That’s… kind of a dick move.” Chrono said.
“… … … … eh?”
“It’s a dickish thing to do! Dating your best friend’s daughter? Really?” Chrono asked.
“She’s dating who?” Griffith Lowran, Chrono’s current aide, said as he poked his head into the room.
“Her best friend’s daughter.”
Griffith winced. “Vivio? Wow. Dick move.”
“… that’s… that’s what…” Hayate began. “You’re not concerned with her age, or that she’s my subordin-“
“Her best. Friend’s. Daughter.” Griffith said. “That is just… wow.”
“I know, right?” Chrono said. “Just… gah. It’s just gaaaaah.”
“… … … eh?” Hayate said.
“Dick move. Such a dick move.” Griffith said.
“I’m confused.” Hayate admitted, about ten minutes after such a statement was warranted.
“Look, Hayate, if you want to date someone underage, or someone who’s a subordinate, then that’s workable.” Chrono said. “You have to be very, very cautious about it. Give your relationship a ridiculous amount of transparency to ensure you don’t give her special treatment, don’t break any laws, but if you’re willing to put up with that scrutiny the relationship is permissible. But…”
“Your friend’s daughter.” Griffith said.
“Such a dick move.” Chrono said.
“I… you can’t explain why?” Hayate said.
“Because she’s… well…” Chrono said.
“She’s your friend’s daughter.” Griffith said.
“Really? Wow, dick move.” Vice said, wincing.
“... where did you come from?!” Hayate squeaked, jumping about a foot in the air and turning on Vice. “And why does everyone keep wincing?!”
“I came from outside.” Vice said vaguely. “But what about you? Your best friend’s daughter? Seriously, now?”
“Look, why are you all focusing so much on th-“
“Because it’s such a totally dick move.” Vice said.
“… why?!”
“Because it is.” Griffith said.
“It just is.” Vice said.
“It’s so obvious it doesn’t need explanation, honestly.” Chrono said.
“I would kick your ass.” Vice said without the slightest hesitation.
“But… but why…?” Hayate asked.
“Because it would be a total dick move.” Vice and Griffith said in unison.
“… … I am confused.” Hayate said, thus entering into the running for ‘Understatement of the Year Award’.
“Look. Hayate. It’s like this…” Chrono said. “Dating your friend’s family is a dick move. It just is.”
“But you and Nanoha were friends, and she married your sister…”
“Hayate… when was the last time you saw me really speak to Nanoha? Even be in the same room as her?” Chrono said.
Hayate thought back over the last decades. The Scaglietti crisis, the Einhart Stratos case, the Huckebeins… “… I… can’t recall. Even at work, it was mostly Fate or I that you usually speak too…”
“That’s because it’s been years since I’ve had a genuine conversation with her.” Chrono growled. “She was my friend, and then she… she defiled my little sister…”
“God, what a dick move.” Vice said, patting Chrono on the shoulder.
“Nanoha and Fate couldn’t possibly be happier with each other! Why are you so upset that your sister is happy?” Hayate asked in growing disbelief.
“I’m overjoyed that my sister is happy. I’m happy that she found someone.” Chrono said.
“Then-“
“I’m just not happy that someone found her.” Chrono snarled. “I never thought Nanoha was such a dick, but I can hardly ignore the evidence.”
“She was totally your friend and she still went after your sister like it was nothing.” Vice said sympathetically.
“Dick move.” Griffith said, nodding.
“Why?!” Hayate moaned.
“It just-“ All three men began.
“-is. Yeah, yeah.” Hayate grumbled.
“So, Lt. General. Your… relationship…” Chrono said, saying the word as though it were poisonous. “Is technically not in violation of any military or civilian law, provided you submit to a certain level of scrutiny. You can pursue it as long as you wish… if you’re a dick.”
“Totally.” Vice and Griffith said in unison.
Hayate blinked a few times. She considered saying some words, but honestly, none came to mind.
“Well? If there’s nothing else, I believe our discussions here are concluded.” Chrono said, once again quite suddenly all business. “Good luck with your new relationship, General.”
“… … … thank you?” Hayate said.
***
“And he really just called you that? Right there in his office?” Verossa Acous said, raising one eyebrow in disbelief.
“I know!” Hayate said, sipping her coffee. “It was intensely unprofessional, and frankly insulting... he's not even my superior! We're in different service branches! He had no right to say any of that, but I was caught so off-guard that I didn’t know how to respond.”
“I can hardly blame you.” Verossa said with a slightly uncertain smile. He had met Hayate for lunch following her appointment, to offer her congratulations if it went well and condolence if it went poorly. He was not, at the moment, sure which he was supposed to be offering.
“Of course! You’re among my closest, dearest friends.” Verossa said.
“And… let’s say I were to ask out Carim…”
Verossa winced.
“What!? Why do people keep wincing?!” Hayate said.
“Well, it’s just… I mean…” Verossa said doubtfully. He stopped, staring at Hayate as if sizing her up. “I probably wouldn’t beat you up, but mostly because Vita would crush my bones to powder.”
“… … why?!”
“It’s just… well… I mean… my sister… it’s just… a… a…”
“… dick move?” Hayate asked with a sigh.
“Yes. Yes, that’s about right!” Verossa said. “Thanks.”
“And… just out of curiosity…” Hayate said. “If dating your sister was a… a…”
“Dick move.”
“Yes, that. Then… let’s say your hypothetical daughter was…”
“Such a dick move.”
Hayate sighed. “I am not going to be finding a lot of support among my male acquaintances, am I?”
Verossa’s eyes widened. “Wait, you are dating a friend’s daughter? … Jeez, Hayate. I mean, it’s your life, but honestly, that’s a really—“
“Yes, I get the point.”
***
“Thank you, Nanoha.” Hayate said, taking the cup of tea from her good friend. “I’ll confess, I was expecting to get some flak from people when… you know, the relationship… became known. I understand it’s not really… normal. I can admit that. But I wasn’t expecting such a wall of… well, I guess ‘accepting scorn’. It’s like nothing I’ve experienced. Nobody was openly upset, but they kept telling me I was being a horrible person.”
“I wonder why?” Nanoha asked. “I mean, really. I’ll confess that, as her mother, I feel a bit strange about Vivio seeing you. But I trust and love both of you. I know that if you truly want to be with each other, then you deserve your chance to be happy. It may be… unorthodox. But I wish you and Vivio nothing but happ-.”
Yuuno winced.
“Gaaaaaaaah!” Hayate and Nanoha said, jumping.
“Y-Yuuno?! Where did you come from?” Nanoha squeaked.
“Outside.” Yuuno said. “But… did I hear that correctly? Hayate is… is…”
“… I suppose it’s become public knowledge at this point.” Nanoha said. “Hayate and… and Vivio have begun a relationship. And Fate and I have our misgivings, but we support th—are you okay?” She said, as Yuuno winced again.
“I’m… okay.” Yuuno said, though he was noticeably making an effort to not look directly at Hayate.
“Nanoha, maybe I should go.” Hayate said, standing up.
“No! Absolutely not!” Nanoha said, placing her hand on Hayate's shoulder to push her back onto the sofa. “Hayate, you are going to stay here. Yuuno, you are going to explain why every man we know has been treating Hayate like a pariah!”
“It’s… well. Have you ever…” Yuuno began. “It’s hard to explain. It’s like… well, I mean… it’s good that Vivio is happy. And it’s good that Hayate is happy. But… that they’re happy together, is… well, Hayate, Vivio is your friend’s daughter and the whole thing is… well… dating her is…”
“I… get the picture.” Hayate said wearily.
“No! No, you don’t.” Nanoha said stubbornly. “Yuuno, you haven’t explained what the problem is.”
“You… you don’t know?” Yuuno asked. “I mean, any anger directed at Hayate is for your sake…”
“… … … … what?!”
“Vivio isn’t our daughter. The one Hayate’s being a dick towards…”
“I was wondering when that word would pop up…” Hayate muttered.
“… is you, Nanoha. You and Fate.” Yuuno said, seemingly unwilling to directly look at any other person in the room.
“Yuuno, we’ve given her our blessing. We know there’s some problems, but this is what makes Vivio happy.” Nanoha said, gently but firmly.
“I know, and that’s wonderful, but…” Yuuno said.
“But what?”
“… … … … it’s such a dick move.” Yuuno finally choked out.
“WHY?!” Hayate finally roared. “People have been saying that all damn day! There are a lot of reasons to disapprove of me and Vivio! I know it, she knows it, and God knows it’s going to be damn struggle to fight through it. If you’re going to disapprove, then go ahead! I’m ready for it! But for the love of all that’s HOLY, would you GIVE ME A REAL REASON?!”
Yuuno sighed. “All right. Okay. It’s hard to explain exactly why… it’s like… like… well, it’s how guys work. We know our friends, all right? And we know our family.
Yuuno sighed, as if this next part would be a real, physical effort to say. “And… and we know our friends aren’t good enough for our family.”
“Of course they are!” Nanoha said. “Hayate is… she couldn’t be better for Vivio. She’s kind, and gentle, and wise, and she genuinely cares for her. Of course she’s good enough for Vivio!”
“Is she? Is she really?” Yuuno asked. “Think about Hayate. Not about her good points, but about all the things you only know about because you’re her friend.”
“Well… I mean… um… she’s a bit… into cosplay? But that’s not bad… except when the costumes get extremely oversexualized. Which is always. And… well, there’s the groping. Which… is just affectionate teasing, I’m sure. Except it hasn’t stopped, even though she’s almost thirty and she’s in a relationship now. And she ignores it when people ask her to stop. Which doesn’t speak well for either her maturity or her self-control, really. But really, I know she’s mature, no matter how she acts in private! I’ve seen how hard she works! … really hard. All the time. In fact, she works most of the day. Takes so little free-time. Not really enough to maintain a relationship, I worry. So… so she works constantly and on the rare occasion she isn’t working, she’s sort of immature.”
Yuuno put a hand on her shoulder. “And now, picture that person dating your daughter. Not the elegant, dignified general. Not the person who has made you smile since you were kids. Picture the real Hayate dating your family.”
Nanoha pictured it.
She pictured it for roughly fifteen minutes of the most agonizing silence Hayate could have possibly imagined.
“It…” She finally said, in a voice barely above a whisper. “It can’t be that bad…”
“And it probably won’t be,” Yuuno admitted. “But deep in your mind, you’ll always think it is. On some primal level, you’ll always be aware that your buddy, with all her many, many, many flaws...”
“Not that many…” Hayate muttered, but there was no force behind the statement.
“… is dating your little girl. And she did it, filling you with this worry for the rest of their time together, even though she’s your friend. And Nanoha… what do you really think of that?”
Nanoha blinked a few times. “It’s… it’s rather… it’s rather inconsiderate, I-I suppose…”
“No, Nanoha.” Yuuno said gently. “It’s a total dick move.”
Nanoha looked at Hayate as if seeing her for the first time.
“I… I think I should leave.” Hayate said.
“Maybe you should.” Nanoha said, staring into Hayate’s eyes with… frankly unnerving intensity.
“Like… go home. Get some rest.”
“Maybe.”
“It’s been a very busy day. I’m… I’m rather tired…” Hayate said, taking several steps backwards toward the door. She was afraid to break eye contact with Nanoha for fear the other woman might go for her spine if she exposed it, but she also felt a driving need to escape. “I’ll talk to you later…”
“Don’t push yourself.” Nanoha said very, very quietly.
Hayate turned and ran for the door, sensing that speed was more important than safety at this point. She opened the door and ran out, leaving it swinging behind her.
***
“Mama says you’re not invited for Christmas Dinner anymore. It’s cancelled, in fact. She wouldn’t say why.” Vivio said.
“I figured that.” Hayate said glumly.
“She said you don’t have to come over on Fridays for drinks and games, either. That she ‘understands how busy you are’.” Vivio said.
“Not a shock.”
“And she has said that it’s kind of… um… hard on her shoes to walk all the way to your door, so she’s going to start dropping Vita off down the street from your house after training sessions.”
“I’ll… I’ll tell Vita.”
“… … … … … … … did you two have a fight?”
“I think for it to be a fight, I really needed to have some hope of winning.” Hayate said.
“Um… do you want me to leave you alone for a bit?” Vivio asked. “I wanted to see if you wanted to go out, but you… don’t seem in the mood.”
“… yeah, I think moping is the order of the day.” Hayate said, smiling sadly. “Sorry, Vivi. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”
Vivio smiled and leaned forward to kiss her girlfriend on the cheek. “I hope you feel better tomorrow, then.” She stood, walking toward the door, before halting briefly. “Um… Hayate… a quick question.”
“Hmmm?”
“Well, I saw Zafira on my way here. You hadn’t told him about us?”
“Um… no, the others know, but we’ve been out of the house at incompatible hours lately. I haven’t had the chance to sit down with him. Why do you ask?” Hayate said.
“Because I kinda let is slip, and he… well… he winced, and then said something under his breath. I’m not sure what it was, but…”
Hayate buried her hand in her heads and sighed. “I can guess.”
Spoiler for Author's Note:
What can I say?
Well done, Moczo. Thank you for bringing some humour into my Saturday morning.
'It's funny because it's true' type stories are something you should try more often.
__________________
Illusion, illusion, this is illusion. It cannot harm me.
Taking the thread in a mildly less dark direction, here's some of that Hayate/Vivio crack that DC requested from me ages ago and I only just got around to writing.
It... er... doesn't exactly fit the canon she, Shigan, and Eagle have put together.
At all.
But if it gets a laugh, I truly don't mind. XD
Spoiler for Unforeseen Complications:
“Lieutenant General Yagami, it’s been too long.” Chrono Harlaown said.
“Chrono, please. We’re friends, you don’t have to stand on decorum when it’s just the two of us.” Hayate Yagami said as she sat in front of the desk of her fellow flag officer and old friend, Admiral Chrono Harlaown.
Chrono smiled softly, but continued, “We are here on business, General. I think ranks are appropriate.”
“… very well, Admiral Harlaown.” Hayate said.
“Thank you.” Chrono. “I know it’s inconvenient, but you’ll have to bear with me for the moment. The top brass has been getting some… disturbing reports about you.”
“What sort?” Hayate asked.
“Keeping unusual hours. Repeatedly seen in the company of a young female recruit. Certain… erm… cases of rumpled uniforms, shall we say? And I believe an ensign saw you coming out of a storage closet last week when your keycard said you were logged into a terminal on the other side of the base.”
“… … … busted, eh?” Hayate said.
“I’m sorry.” Crono said. “I know this must be awkward for you, but you know as well that relationships between flag officers like yourself and lower-ranked members have to be carefully monitored. Amy and I had to do the same thing before she too early retirement to take care of our children; we can’t allow special treatment of recruits by their superiors, you know that.”
“Of course.” Hayate said sadly. “It’s just that… well, the relationship is very young, and admittedly a bit awkward. I had hoped to shield myself and Vivio from the public eye.”
Chrono winced.
“… are you okay?” Hayate asked, not sure what to make of the expression.
“Vivio. You’re… dating Vivio?” Chrono said.
“Yes…” Hayate said doubtfully.
Chrono winced again.
“What was that?” Hayate asked. “Is it… is it her age? Because I’m not doing anything illegal. I won’t lay a finger on her until she’s eighteen. And if it’s her status as my junior officer, obviously that’s why I’m here, so…” Hayate said.
“It’s not that…” Chrono said, still trying not to look Hayate in the eyes. “It’s just… well.”
“… what? Well what?”
Chrono murmured something that couldn’t be quite heard.
“C-Chrono?”
“That’s… kind of a dick move.” Chrono said.
“… … … … eh?”
“It’s a dickish thing to do! Dating your best friend’s daughter? Really?” Chrono asked.
“She’s dating who?” Griffith Lowran, Chrono’s current aide, said as he poked his head into the room.
“Her best friend’s daughter.”
Griffith winced. “Vivio? Wow. Dick move.”
“… that’s… that’s what…” Hayate began. “You’re not concerned with her age, or that she’s my subordin-“
“Her best. Friend’s. Daughter.” Griffith said. “That is just… wow.”
“I know, right?” Chrono said. “Just… gah. It’s just gaaaaah.”
“… … … eh?” Hayate said.
“Dick move. Such a dick move.” Griffith said.
“I’m confused.” Hayate admitted, about ten minutes after such a statement was warranted.
“Look, Hayate, if you want to date someone underage, or someone who’s a subordinate, then that’s workable.” Chrono said. “You have to be very, very cautious about it. Give your relationship a ridiculous amount of transparency to ensure you don’t give her special treatment, don’t break any laws, but if you’re willing to put up with that scrutiny the relationship is permissible. But…”
“Your friend’s daughter.” Griffith said.
“Such a dick move.” Chrono said.
“I… you can’t explain why?” Hayate said.
“Because she’s… well…” Chrono said.
“She’s your friend’s daughter.” Griffith said.
“Really? Wow, dick move.” Vice said, wincing.
“... where did you come from?!” Hayate squeaked, jumping about a foot in the air and turning on Vice. “And why does everyone keep wincing?!”
“I came from outside.” Vice said vaguely. “But what about you? Your best friend’s daughter? Seriously, now?”
“Look, why are you all focusing so much on th-“
“Because it’s such a totally dick move.” Vice said.
“… why?!”
“Because it is.” Griffith said.
“It just is.” Vice said.
“It’s so obvious it doesn’t need explanation, honestly.” Chrono said.
“I would kick your ass.” Vice said without the slightest hesitation.
“But… but why…?” Hayate asked.
“Because it would be a total dick move.” Vice and Griffith said in unison.
“… … I am confused.” Hayate said, thus entering into the running for ‘Understatement of the Year Award’.
“Look. Hayate. It’s like this…” Chrono said. “Dating your friend’s family is a dick move. It just is.”
“But you and Nanoha were friends, and she married your sister…”
“Hayate… when was the last time you saw me really speak to Nanoha? Even be in the same room as her?” Chrono said.
Hayate thought back over the last decades. The Scaglietti crisis, the Einhart Stratos case, the Huckebeins… “… I… can’t recall. Even at work, it was mostly Fate or I that you usually speak too…”
“That’s because it’s been years since I’ve had a genuine conversation with her.” Chrono growled. “She was my friend, and then she… she defiled my little sister…”
“God, what a dick move.” Vice said, patting Chrono on the shoulder.
“Nanoha and Fate couldn’t possibly be happier with each other! Why are you so upset that your sister is happy?” Hayate asked in growing disbelief.
“I’m overjoyed that my sister is happy. I’m happy that she found someone.” Chrono said.
“Then-“
“I’m just not happy that someone found her.” Chrono snarled. “I never thought Nanoha was such a dick, but I can hardly ignore the evidence.”
“She was totally your friend and she still went after your sister like it was nothing.” Vice said sympathetically.
“Dick move.” Griffith said, nodding.
“Why?!” Hayate moaned.
“It just-“ All three men began.
“-is. Yeah, yeah.” Hayate grumbled.
“So, Lt. General. Your… relationship…” Chrono said, saying the word as though it were poisonous. “Is technically not in violation of any military or civilian law, provided you submit to a certain level of scrutiny. You can pursue it as long as you wish… if you’re a dick.”
“Totally.” Vice and Griffith said in unison.
Hayate blinked a few times. She considered saying some words, but honestly, none came to mind.
“Well? If there’s nothing else, I believe our discussions here are concluded.” Chrono said, once again quite suddenly all business. “Good luck with your new relationship, General.”
“… … … thank you?” Hayate said.
***
“And he really just called you that? Right there in his office?” Verossa Acous said, raising one eyebrow in disbelief.
“I know!” Hayate said, sipping her coffee. “It was intensely unprofessional, and frankly insulting... he's not even my superior! We're in different service branches! He had no right to say any of that, but I was caught so off-guard that I didn’t know how to respond.”
“I can hardly blame you.” Verossa said with a slightly uncertain smile. He had met Hayate for lunch following her appointment, to offer her congratulations if it went well and condolence if it went poorly. He was not, at the moment, sure which he was supposed to be offering.
“Of course! You’re among my closest, dearest friends.” Verossa said.
“And… let’s say I were to ask out Carim…”
Verossa winced.
“What!? Why do people keep wincing?!” Hayate said.
“Well, it’s just… I mean…” Verossa said doubtfully. He stopped, staring at Hayate as if sizing her up. “I probably wouldn’t beat you up, but mostly because Vita would crush my bones to powder.”
“… … why?!”
“It’s just… well… I mean… my sister… it’s just… a… a…”
“… dick move?” Hayate asked with a sigh.
“Yes. Yes, that’s about right!” Verossa said. “Thanks.”
“And… just out of curiosity…” Hayate said. “If dating your sister was a… a…”
“Dick move.”
“Yes, that. Then… let’s say your hypothetical daughter was…”
“Such a dick move.”
Hayate sighed. “I am not going to be finding a lot of support among my male acquaintances, am I?”
Verossa’s eyes widened. “Wait, you are dating a friend’s daughter? … Jeez, Hayate. I mean, it’s your life, but honestly, that’s a really—“
“Yes, I get the point.”
***
“Thank you, Nanoha.” Hayate said, taking the cup of tea from her good friend. “I’ll confess, I was expecting to get some flak from people when… you know, the relationship… became known. I understand it’s not really… normal. I can admit that. But I wasn’t expecting such a wall of… well, I guess ‘accepting scorn’. It’s like nothing I’ve experienced. Nobody was openly upset, but they kept telling me I was being a horrible person.”
“I wonder why?” Nanoha asked. “I mean, really. I’ll confess that, as her mother, I feel a bit strange about Vivio seeing you. But I trust and love both of you. I know that if you truly want to be with each other, then you deserve your chance to be happy. It may be… unorthodox. But I wish you and Vivio nothing but happ-.”
Yuuno winced.
“Gaaaaaaaah!” Hayate and Nanoha said, jumping.
“Y-Yuuno?! Where did you come from?” Nanoha squeaked.
“Outside.” Yuuno said. “But… did I hear that correctly? Hayate is… is…”
“… I suppose it’s become public knowledge at this point.” Nanoha said. “Hayate and… and Vivio have begun a relationship. And Fate and I have our misgivings, but we support th—are you okay?” She said, as Yuuno winced again.
“I’m… okay.” Yuuno said, though he was noticeably making an effort to not look directly at Hayate.
“Nanoha, maybe I should go.” Hayate said, standing up.
“No! Absolutely not!” Nanoha said, placing her hand on Hayate's shoulder to push her back onto the sofa. “Hayate, you are going to stay here. Yuuno, you are going to explain why every man we know has been treating Hayate like a pariah!”
“It’s… well. Have you ever…” Yuuno began. “It’s hard to explain. It’s like… well, I mean… it’s good that Vivio is happy. And it’s good that Hayate is happy. But… that they’re happy together, is… well, Hayate, Vivio is your friend’s daughter and the whole thing is… well… dating her is…”
“I… get the picture.” Hayate said wearily.
“No! No, you don’t.” Nanoha said stubbornly. “Yuuno, you haven’t explained what the problem is.”
“You… you don’t know?” Yuuno asked. “I mean, any anger directed at Hayate is for your sake…”
“… … … … what?!”
“Vivio isn’t our daughter. The one Hayate’s being a dick towards…”
“I was wondering when that word would pop up…” Hayate muttered.
“… is you, Nanoha. You and Fate.” Yuuno said, seemingly unwilling to directly look at any other person in the room.
“Yuuno, we’ve given her our blessing. We know there’s some problems, but this is what makes Vivio happy.” Nanoha said, gently but firmly.
“I know, and that’s wonderful, but…” Yuuno said.
“But what?”
“… … … … it’s such a dick move.” Yuuno finally choked out.
“WHY?!” Hayate finally roared. “People have been saying that all damn day! There are a lot of reasons to disapprove of me and Vivio! I know it, she knows it, and God knows it’s going to be damn struggle to fight through it. If you’re going to disapprove, then go ahead! I’m ready for it! But for the love of all that’s HOLY, would you GIVE ME A REAL REASON?!”
Yuuno sighed. “All right. Okay. It’s hard to explain exactly why… it’s like… like… well, it’s how guys work. We know our friends, all right? And we know our family.
Yuuno sighed, as if this next part would be a real, physical effort to say. “And… and we know our friends aren’t good enough for our family.”
“Of course they are!” Nanoha said. “Hayate is… she couldn’t be better for Vivio. She’s kind, and gentle, and wise, and she genuinely cares for her. Of course she’s good enough for Vivio!”
“Is she? Is she really?” Yuuno asked. “Think about Hayate. Not about her good points, but about all the things you only know about because you’re her friend.”
“Well… I mean… um… she’s a bit… into cosplay? But that’s not bad… except when the costumes get extremely oversexualized. Which is always. And… well, there’s the groping. Which… is just affectionate teasing, I’m sure. Except it hasn’t stopped, even though she’s almost thirty and she’s in a relationship now. And she ignores it when people ask her to stop. Which doesn’t speak well for either her maturity or her self-control, really. But really, I know she’s mature, no matter how she acts in private! I’ve seen how hard she works! … really hard. All the time. In fact, she works most of the day. Takes so little free-time. Not really enough to maintain a relationship, I worry. So… so she works constantly and on the rare occasion she isn’t working, she’s sort of immature.”
Yuuno put a hand on her shoulder. “And now, picture that person dating your daughter. Not the elegant, dignified general. Not the person who has made you smile since you were kids. Picture the real Hayate dating your family.”
Nanoha pictured it.
She pictured it for roughly fifteen minutes of the most agonizing silence Hayate could have possibly imagined.
“It…” She finally said, in a voice barely above a whisper. “It can’t be that bad…”
“And it probably won’t be,” Yuuno admitted. “But deep in your mind, you’ll always think it is. On some primal level, you’ll always be aware that your buddy, with all her many, many, many flaws...”
“Not that many…” Hayate muttered, but there was no force behind the statement.
“… is dating your little girl. And she did it, filling you with this worry for the rest of their time together, even though she’s your friend. And Nanoha… what do you really think of that?”
Nanoha blinked a few times. “It’s… it’s rather… it’s rather inconsiderate, I-I suppose…”
“No, Nanoha.” Yuuno said gently. “It’s a total dick move.”
Nanoha looked at Hayate as if seeing her for the first time.
“I… I think I should leave.” Hayate said.
“Maybe you should.” Nanoha said, staring into Hayate’s eyes with… frankly unnerving intensity.
“Like… go home. Get some rest.”
“Maybe.”
“It’s been a very busy day. I’m… I’m rather tired…” Hayate said, taking several steps backwards toward the door. She was afraid to break eye contact with Nanoha for fear the other woman might go for her spine if she exposed it, but she also felt a driving need to escape. “I’ll talk to you later…”
“Don’t push yourself.” Nanoha said very, very quietly.
Hayate turned and ran for the door, sensing that speed was more important than safety at this point. She opened the door and ran out, leaving it swinging behind her.
***
“Mama says you’re not invited for Christmas Dinner anymore. It’s cancelled, in fact. She wouldn’t say why.” Vivio said.
“I figured that.” Hayate said glumly.
“She said you don’t have to come over on Fridays for drinks and games, either. That she ‘understands how busy you are’.” Vivio said.
“Not a shock.”
“And she has said that it’s kind of… um… hard on her shoes to walk all the way to your door, so she’s going to start dropping Vita off down the street from your house after training sessions.”
“I’ll… I’ll tell Vita.”
“… … … … … … … did you two have a fight?”
“I think for it to be a fight, I really needed to have some hope of winning.” Hayate said.
“Um… do you want me to leave you alone for a bit?” Vivio asked. “I wanted to see if you wanted to go out, but you… don’t seem in the mood.”
“… yeah, I think moping is the order of the day.” Hayate said, smiling sadly. “Sorry, Vivi. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”
Vivio smiled and leaned forward to kiss her girlfriend on the cheek. “I hope you feel better tomorrow, then.” She stood, walking toward the door, before halting briefly. “Um… Hayate… a quick question.”
“Hmmm?”
“Well, I saw Zafira on my way here. You hadn’t told him about us?”
“Um… no, the others know, but we’ve been out of the house at incompatible hours lately. I haven’t had the chance to sit down with him. Why do you ask?” Hayate said.
“Because I kinda let is slip, and he… well… he winced, and then said something under his breath. I’m not sure what it was, but…”
Hayate buried her hand in her heads and sighed. “I can guess.”
Spoiler for Author's Note:
What can I say?
*puts hand to mouth, trying to keep the papaya juice in* xD! And no, this is never happening in the canon universe. Or well, maybe, I -am- planning to write a short on the Wolkenritter's first reaction.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Craxuan
If Moczo extends his story and tells how Hayate committed suicide and still they talk about that, then it'll be epic and not just a mere crack. No, the story'll be complete.
How on earth does that make the story complete??? O___o;;;
Well in my opinion the story brimmed with the potential of a dark comedy. As a crack it is fine, but for a madman like me well~
Writer's block lately, and I find myself wondering how I should cycle words so they don't repeat. It totally screwed up my writing, even piecing a normal forum reply now feels stupidly weird. Damn.
Location: Place of rocks and trees, and trees and rocks...and water.
Age: 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Craxuan
Writer's block lately, and I find myself wondering how I should cycle words so they don't repeat. It totally screwed up my writing, even piecing a normal forum reply now feels stupidly weird. Damn.
I know what you mean , I've noticed an annoying tendency for my recent writing to use the same vocabulary over and over, and it's bugging me. But it's not exactly a solution to just use a thesaurus and replace certain words, since then that affects flow and such .
2011-07-15, 21:03
.
Author
. So guys (and Nanoha) treating Hayate badly due to the fact that she's in love with Vivio? Not cool. The fact that they're all taking this "dick move" business so seriously (when it's really not)? Hilarious 
.
