AnimeSuki Forums

BradleySmith · 2013-01-28, 12:17

I mean, Makes me want to try and find a girlfriend but i doubt i will ever find the courage because in this world people have to try and be perfect, I don't think i would be able to get one without fixing myself first which is stupid really but its how i feel, Its like if i hate that part of my body someone else will too.

Anime made me realise that all the stuff you think matter, Like appearance,Personality,interests,music.
Dont really matter too much, What matters is that you love that person for being them, And you enjoy there company,

has a anime changed the way you think of relationships?

Kudryavka · 2013-01-28, 13:18

No dude, you don't have to be perfect to find a girlfriend...

Don't listen to anime and fictional media about what's right in finding a relationship, please. Have realistic standards, brush your teeth, and don't be a douche. You'll find someone someday.

willx · 2013-01-28, 13:20

^ Also don't have unrealistic expectations about what a girlfriend is supposed to be like. Perfectly unmarred skin, perfect proportions and completely overlooking all your flaws is likely not something valid to expect. That is unless you are extremely wealthy or otherwise are the perfect example of such previously stated attributes.

Kudryavka · 2013-01-28, 13:24

It seems that you need a little more self confidence. Unfortunately that's what turns a lot of people away, so just be proud of yourself.

People wont hate you, but they'll sense that you aren't sure about yourself.

BradleySmith · 2013-01-28, 13:29

Im definitely not self confident, I also hear that is something a girl can feel, Im screwed lol

Kudryavka · 2013-01-28, 13:30

Yea have self confidence.

The first step is to stop feeling like you need a girlfriend...

DonQuigleone · 2013-01-28, 13:34

Concentrate on being happy by yourself first, and the rest should flow from there.

Hopefully.

BradleySmith · 2013-01-28, 13:37

Thing is being 20 and having my last relationship in school around 6 years ago, I feel like i am ready and i do want one, If i keep going without wanting one i will probably be without one forever.

LeoXiao · 2013-01-28, 13:38

Of all the girls whom I have gotten along with well, never was there one where the conversations were forced. Unless you have natural ability, you won't be able to pick and choose. The only thing you can do is improve yourself in other areas (studies, discipline, etc) and increase your chances to bump into someone naturally.

You never know where or when you might find someone. You just have to take the effort to put yourself out there. Not everyone is easy to talk to or will match you, but that's why you need to keep at it. Don't avoid going to an event just because the last one turned out boring or awkward.

As for anime changing my view on relationships, not really, but what it can do is make real life seem bleak since a lot of things in anime, like any fictional medium, are unrealistic and even the realistic bits are only the parts that are most interesting. Real life is mostly boring, but you have to be patient.

ArchmageXin · 2013-01-28, 13:45

anime can really work in weird ways, I am a asian guy, tall with glasses, and for some ungodly reason I fit in several anime stereotypes that gotten female attention. But soon I discover most of them seem to lose interest once they discover I don't have super powers. (Cept that aggressive redhead girl who wanted to sleep with me and my roommate at a anime Con and at the same time, thankfully she told us she was 15.5 so we declined)

But anyhow, Don't let anime affect how you think. Anime are no different than Hollywood, and if truth be told, if they are right, 80% of the population shouldn't be allowed to breed if anime or Hollywood A-list body-like qualities are needed for a relationship.

@OP, how old are you by the way? Our advice might be a tad bit more useful if we know your age level. Advice to a 15 years old is different than one is 25 or 35.

ArchmageXin · 2013-01-28, 13:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by BradleySmith

Thing is being 20 and having my last relationship in school around 6 years ago, I feel like i am ready and i do want one, If i keep going without wanting one i will probably be without one forever.

Ahh, don't say that. Gosh, 20 was awkward time too for me.

Advice:

1) Avoid trying to pickup girls in Anime Clubs/Game Clubs.

2) Avoid the whole pick up drunk girl at Frat Parties. It can seriously backfire. If other guys con you to do it, don't. If you meet a girl at a party and she is at least half sober and you were able to get to know her, fine. But don't be stupid.

3) Get to know a girl from ordinary means. In general, find common interests. Nothing wrong with asking a girl next to you at your (Class X) to go "grab a bite" later at some off campus location, chat. Just don't expect much, be polite. Sometime it will work, sometime it will not. Work the flow

4) Try okcupid.com

5) For the really silly, one of my friends end up with A LOT of girls when he went over there to teach in China

MUAHAHAHAHAHA · 2013-01-28, 13:54

Anime makes me realize that dumb and clueless male leads in a harem setting is never a good boyfriend material.

Kudryavka · 2013-01-28, 14:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by BradleySmith

Thing is being 20 and having my last relationship in school around 6 years ago, I feel like i am ready and i do want one, If i keep going without wanting one i will probably be without one forever.

Chill man, you're only 20. Unless you have a terminal illness (in which case I am very sorry

), don't act like the end of the world is near and you have to complete your bucket list. There are people in their 40s, 50s, maybe later who date (the oldest I knew was in her 50s).

LeoXiao · 2013-01-28, 14:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kudryavka

Chill man, you're only 20. Unless you have a terminal illness (in which case I am very sorry

), don't act like the end of the world is near and you have to complete your bucket list. There are people in their 40s, 50s, maybe later who date (the oldest I knew was in her 50s).

Maybe he wants to have kids before getting too old, or wants to experience a relationship while he's still young? Both are valid causes for slight concern.

synaesthetic · 2013-01-28, 14:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by MUAHAHAHAHAHA

Anime makes me realize that dumb and clueless male leads in a harem setting is never a good boyfriend material.

Anime makes me realize that the authors of harem/romance/yaoi/etc series have never been in an actual human relationship and thus have no idea how it really works.

BradleySmith · 2013-01-28, 14:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeoXiao

Maybe he wants to have kids before getting too old, or wants to experience a relationship while he's still young? Both are valid causes for slight concern.

Thats right i do want to have a relationship while young

Akito Kinomoto · 2013-01-28, 14:35

If all of the problems IRL resolved themselves as idealistically as they do in fiction, some people wouldn't bother using the latter as escapism. It (fiction) doesn't change the perspective; it changes what the viewer envies. In my case anyway.

Xefi · 2013-01-28, 14:35

man, when i was 20, i was still jumping out of air craft in the U.S. Army...lol. i can
never really focus into having a relationship then.

anyways, anime have made me a more gentler person. i use to not like cute stuffs or
animals. if anything, people dont really like me much because i put up a "get away from
me" type of barrier. ever since i watch anime, i have become more adapt to talking to
people more and more open minded. i actually appreciate life more now.

as for relationship, i dont really care much. i really am enjoying my life right now as a
single and not marry type of person.

BradleySmith · 2013-01-28, 14:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xefi

man, when i was 20, i was still jumping out of air craft in the U.S. Army...lol. i can
never really focus into having a relationship then.

anyways, anime have made me a more gentler person. i use to not like cute stuffs or
animals. if anything, people dont really like me much because i put up a "get away from
me" type of barrier. ever since i watch anime, i have become more adapt to talking to
people more and more open minded. i actually appreciate life more now.

as for relationship, i dont really care much. i really am enjoying my life right now as a
single and not marry type of person.

Thats something i need to do, Be more open minded and talking to people more, US army sounds fun

DonQuigleone · 2013-01-28, 15:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by BradleySmith

Thing is being 20 and having my last relationship in school around 6 years ago, I feel like i am ready and i do want one, If i keep going without wanting one i will probably be without one forever.

Hey, I'm 24, and as single as you can imagine. Don't worry about it.

But if you do want to meet women, online dating is not necessarily a bad idea. I found clubs/activities to be fairly fruitless.

Though if you want to get used to being around women, I might recommend dancing classes, particularly couple dancing like ballroom or salsa. You have to physically handle a partner, as well as talk to them. Can help you get over nerves. However you probably won't make a girlfriend out of it. You will get experience associating with women though.

EDIT: should this be merged with the dating thread?

2013-01-28, 12:17	Link #1
BradleySmith Senior Member IT Support Join Date: May 2012 Location: United Kingdom,Essex Age: 31	Does anime change your view on relationships? I mean, Makes me want to try and find a girlfriend but i doubt i will ever find the courage because in this world people have to try and be perfect, I don't think i would be able to get one without fixing myself first which is stupid really but its how i feel, Its like if i hate that part of my body someone else will too. Anime made me realise that all the stuff you think matter, Like appearance,Personality,interests,music. Dont really matter too much, What matters is that you love that person for being them, And you enjoy there company, has a anime changed the way you think of relationships? __________________ Youtube.com/onza120 Check me out!

2013-01-28, 13:20	Link #3
willx Nyaaan~~ Join Date: Feb 2006 Age: 40	^ Also don't have unrealistic expectations about what a girlfriend is supposed to be like. Perfectly unmarred skin, perfect proportions and completely overlooking all your flaws is likely not something valid to expect. That is unless you are extremely wealthy or otherwise are the perfect example of such previously stated attributes. __________________ Nyaaaan~~

2013-01-28, 13:29	Link #5
BradleySmith Senior Member IT Support Join Date: May 2012 Location: United Kingdom,Essex Age: 31	Im definitely not self confident, I also hear that is something a girl can feel, Im screwed lol __________________ Youtube.com/onza120 Check me out!

2013-01-28, 13:37	Link #8
BradleySmith Senior Member IT Support Join Date: May 2012 Location: United Kingdom,Essex Age: 31	Thing is being 20 and having my last relationship in school around 6 years ago, I feel like i am ready and i do want one, If i keep going without wanting one i will probably be without one forever. __________________ Youtube.com/onza120 Check me out!

2013-01-28, 13:54	Link #12
MUAHAHAHAHAHA Hail the power of Fujoshi Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: hahahahahahahahaha Age: 35	Anime makes me realize that dumb and clueless male leads in a harem setting is never a good boyfriend material. __________________ A politically ignorant person who embraces only hedonism as the main philosophical doctrine. Old stuff but just a reminder that butthurt report form is here to help

2013-01-28, 13:18	Link #2
Kudryavka Senior Member Join Date: May 2009	No dude, you don't have to be perfect to find a girlfriend... Don't listen to anime and fictional media about what's right in finding a relationship, please. Have realistic standards, brush your teeth, and don't be a douche. You'll find someone someday.

2013-01-28, 13:24	Link #4
Kudryavka Senior Member Join Date: May 2009	It seems that you need a little more self confidence. Unfortunately that's what turns a lot of people away, so just be proud of yourself. People wont hate you, but they'll sense that you aren't sure about yourself.

2013-01-28, 13:30	Link #6
Kudryavka Senior Member Join Date: May 2009	Yea have self confidence. The first step is to stop feeling like you need a girlfriend...

2013-01-28, 13:34	Link #7
DonQuigleone Knight Errant Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Dublin, Ireland Age: 35	Concentrate on being happy by yourself first, and the rest should flow from there. Hopefully.

2013-01-28, 13:38	Link #9
LeoXiao 思想工作 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Vereinigte Staaten Age: 31	Of all the girls whom I have gotten along with well, never was there one where the conversations were forced. Unless you have natural ability, you won't be able to pick and choose. The only thing you can do is improve yourself in other areas (studies, discipline, etc) and increase your chances to bump into someone naturally. You never know where or when you might find someone. You just have to take the effort to put yourself out there. Not everyone is easy to talk to or will match you, but that's why you need to keep at it. Don't avoid going to an event just because the last one turned out boring or awkward. As for anime changing my view on relationships, not really, but what it can do is make real life seem bleak since a lot of things in anime, like any fictional medium, are unrealistic and even the realistic bits are only the parts that are most interesting. Real life is mostly boring, but you have to be patient.

2013-01-28, 13:45	Link #10
ArchmageXin Master of Coin Join Date: Mar 2008	anime can really work in weird ways, I am a asian guy, tall with glasses, and for some ungodly reason I fit in several anime stereotypes that gotten female attention. But soon I discover most of them seem to lose interest once they discover I don't have super powers. (Cept that aggressive redhead girl who wanted to sleep with me and my roommate at a anime Con and at the same time, thankfully she told us she was 15.5 so we declined) But anyhow, Don't let anime affect how you think. Anime are no different than Hollywood, and if truth be told, if they are right, 80% of the population shouldn't be allowed to breed if anime or Hollywood A-list body-like qualities are needed for a relationship. @OP, how old are you by the way? Our advice might be a tad bit more useful if we know your age level. Advice to a 15 years old is different than one is 25 or 35.

2013-01-28, 14:35	Link #18
Xefi 癸亥 (guǐhài) Graphic Designer Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ Age: 40	man, when i was 20, i was still jumping out of air craft in the U.S. Army...lol. i can never really focus into having a relationship then. anyways, anime have made me a more gentler person. i use to not like cute stuffs or animals. if anything, people dont really like me much because i put up a "get away from me" type of barrier. ever since i watch anime, i have become more adapt to talking to people more and more open minded. i actually appreciate life more now. as for relationship, i dont really care much. i really am enjoying my life right now as a single and not marry type of person. __________________ X.E.F.I.