Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[Saharet]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Saved by the Bell is now printed :3 It's something awesome to have one of your fics in book format in your hands <3 I'll scan some later

OMG WANT!!!! O_O
*cough*
Nice sataa~ :3

[spawnofthejudge]

The Many Masters of the Malevolent Manuscript

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Part Seven
Part Eight
Part Nine
Part Ten

Spoiler for Part Eleven: Programming:

There was a hole inside of her.

It wasn’t a visible hole, nor a literal one. It was an… emptiness. It was an emptiness that was constantly with her. Something that she felt no matter what was going on around her. If it wasn’t so uncomfortable, it would be comforting for its constant presence… something that Signum could not count on for any other aspect or feeling she had. And, as it was plain, this included the other Knights. Them being missing, however, seemed to increase the hole’s size and impact on her psyche.

She didn’t remember this happening before, though she knew that there had been other times that she had been separated from the other Knights in much the same way as this time. The hole had not, however, grown as a result… if she remembered the events correctly. Unfortunately, she likely didn’t. It was a subject of much conversation among the Knights when they had the opportunity to discuss themselves: their memories, among the many other myriad things that were wrong with the Book of Darkness, were faulty.

But she could not discuss her discovery about the hole with her companions now. It made it all the worse that the reason the hole had changed was their absence. Something that Signum hated. Something that she had never wanted to experience again after the first time. She couldn’t even remember the first time anymore… there were too many times in between. Too many times that she had been ripped away from one of her companions. Or vice versa. That all implied that the hole was something that Signum hated to not be with was absent at all times… made bigger when more things went missing.

She suddenly looked up, causing the soldiers standing guard to level their weapons at her, but she paid them no mind. It’s almost over now, she thought to herself. The Book is complete.

~************~
Programming
~************~

Red lights flashed and alarms blared all throughout the Hestia, but neither Tanya nor George could answer the frantic calls from Paige to determine why the alarm pad in the brig had been activated. “I can’t reach either of them, and I can’t get a clear visual of the cell block!”

“Incoming hail from the remaining fleet, Admiral!” the on-bridge tech officer called out, preventing Admiral Harlaown from giving further instructions to Paige.

“Put him through, Thomas.”

The face of the fleet’s Admiral showed surprise and sudden worry when the screen illuminated with his features. “Clyde-kun?” he asked with obvious shock. He collected himself quickly, however. “What can we do?”

“We don’t know what’s going on yet,” was his answer from Clyde Harlaown. “Paige! Keep trying! And send the squad down there with first instructions to report to us a status!”

“Yes, sir!”

Clyde turned back to the screen. “It’s possible that my Enforcers found the Master trying something, but they haven’t been answering calls.”

“The alarm was triggered from the…”

“The cell block, yes, Admiral.” Clyde nodded. “I don’t know what we’ll need yet, if anything…”

“I’ll transfer a pair of Enforcers and a squad to your ship. Keep me posted on what the trouble is.”

“You know I will. Hestia out.”

The communication closed, and there was a beat where all that sounded was the siren of the alarm, and all that moved was the red flashing light. Then Clyde said. “Alert is at highest level until I say otherwise. All personnel arm yourselves!”

“Yes, sir!”

~******~

“I will fulfill my Master’s wish.”

Tanya and George were the only other people standing other than the woman with the black wings that didn’t seem to be the Master of the Book of Darkness anymore. Something had changed about her, but neither of the Enforcers were given the time to muse upon that point.

“Diabolic Emission.” A Dark Sphere was forming above the woman’s outstretched hand. She was merely ignoring the fact that some bars separated her and the Enforcers. “Merge with the Darkness…”

“If she breaches the hull…!” George called out, trying to cast a barrier.

Tanya stopped him with a word. “Stop! It’s Spatial! Shield up!” Her warning came just in time.

“Envelop,” Tanya’s Phoenix stated.

“Round Shield,” George’s Starfall intoned.

It was only due to the combined force of the shields did the Enforcers take negligible damage from the attack. From the sheer force of the spell, they knew that they were outmatched. Starfall gave off the chime that indicated that Paige was hailing him with the emergency code signal, but George couldn’t even give Starfall the order to open the connection so that he could talk to her.

“Blast Rain.” The woman stated… her tone similar to the Devices. George and Tanya were both forced to dive to either side of the attack, but the hail of magical blasts continued unabated. George let the Auto-guard take the brunt of the attack as he forced himself toward the prisoner. When he saw an opening, he took it.

“Luna Buster!” he called, letting loose Starfall’s blast attack, but the only effect was that the woman no longer had the bars separating her from the Enforcers. George quickly spun to avoid another set of the Blast Rain attack that yet continued from the woman’s fist. She hadn’t even paused to block his blast.

Tanya had apparently used her time more effectively. “We have engaged the Book of Darkness itself! Yes, the Defense Program! The Book is complete! Repeat! The Book is comp-” She was cut off by being struck dead on with one of the Blasts, but her Barrier Jacket absorbed the impact and her only symptom was to lose her breath. She had to take a more active role in defending herself.

George managed to maneuver so that he and Tanya trapped their adversary between them. The moment the Blast Rain ended and she started charging a new attack, Tanya and George both went on the offensive.

“Flamethrower!”

“Luna Buster!”

“Panzerschield.” The Defense Program flung out her hands, catching both of the attacks with shields that arose from her palms. The purple triangular Belkan shields were easy match for the Buster attacks, and when Tanya and George paused, she retaliated. “Blutiger Dolch,” the Book in her hand stated. Sharp red points dug into both Enforcer’s breaking off their attacks completely. George was now bleeding from a tear in his Barrier Jacket on his shoulder. Tanya had several tears, but no breakthroughs.

Tanya immediately charged as the Defense Program turned her head to George and fired an attack at him that he didn’t even hear the name of. “We’ll think of something!” she called for George’s benefit before “Burning Strike!”

But what else can we do? George thought, bringing up Starfall’s Round Shield again. We can’t bombard her, even if we got the chance to charge; we’d risk a hull breach. Had to keep it in mind, though, if a Buster-class attack wouldn’t even phase her, and she was easily able to handle two.

~******~

“I am the Administration Program,” she said quietly. “I have the power to affect basic things about the Tome if you command me to.”

“Can you tell me what’s going on now?”

“Of course. The Automated Defense Program is taking care of the external threats.”

“I can’t use the spells of the Book myself?”

“The Book acts to protect its Master.”

“I didn’t want to retreat into a pocket dimension and have someone else do my dirty work! I owe them a beating, and I intend to give it to them! Let me handle this with the power granted to me by the Book!”

“I cannot.”

“…what did you say?” The Master’s tone was deadly.

“I cannot. I am flawed.”

“Then what use are you?! Can you get me out of here at all?!”

“No, Master. We must hope the Automated Program successfully takes out all external threats quickly enough. Before…”

“Before what?!”

“Before she loses control. I am…” Crack. The Administration Program found her head turned to the side.

“I do not care to hear excuses,” she spat at the silver-haired Program. “Nor apologies.”

“Then I can say nothing, Master.”

~******~

The squad had been useless, but at least the addition of two more Enforcers had made the playing field a little more level. Not that George and Tanya were too useful after being battered about by the Defense Program for nearly ten minutes. George knew that he was going to be laid up in an infirmary for weeks and Paige would never forgive him for attempting to fight through such injuries.

But he didn’t have a choice in the matter.

They had tried everything they could think of short of guaranteeing a hull breach with a bombardment attack, but they hadn’t seemed to make any sort of significant dent in the Program’s Armor. One of the newcomer Enforcers, being a melee specialist with a pair of daggers as his Device’s primary form, had managed to keep her occupied by himself for several minutes, but that had been the best success they had. And they had it no more when he was thrown against the broken cell and impaled upon one of the bars.

This threw Tanya, George and the remaining Enforcer into combat with the Program once again, but Tanya and George were clearly flagging. The remaining Enforcer’s weapon flashed constantly, trying to draw all attention and attacks to herself. She succeeded enough that Tanya and George were able to line up shots across from each other, though during the countdown both took hits to their Barrier Jackets. They only had one more chance at this, so they attempted to grunt through the pain.

“Count zero.”

“Supernova!” George called, managing somehow to charge the necessary power into the attack. He dimly heard Tanya’s answering cry of her own bombardment, and both slammed into the Program at nearly point-blank range. Even with the significant damage the prison area of the ship had taken, there still wasn’t all that much room to maneuver in it.

The pale white of George’s attack and fierce red of Tanya’s met with the deep purple of the Program’s answering shields. This time the shields were obviously buckling though. There was a chance they could break through! But suddenly the Program was no longer in the blast sight and the two attacks were hitting each other. George and Tanya broke off the attack, but not before the Program had made it to Tanya’s side and blasted right through the center of her Barrier Jacket as if it weren’t there.

“TANYA!” George shouted, his voice hoarse from expended effort. She didn’t answer; she only slumped to the floor.

The dissipating energies of the powerful bombardment attacks flared to life once more, which surprised all three combatants, but the Program only for a moment. She closed her eyes as she turned away from her fallen adversary. “It’s begun again…” she said quietly, and then her eyes were open and hard again. And George attempted to steady himself alongside an Enforcer he didn’t even know the name of.

~******~

This is when I wish we could go out there.

Just now?

I mean, every time. She’s always alone when this happens to her.

Signum’s alone too, you know.

I know that, but Signum will be back with us soon enough. When Signum’s about, there’s often hope. There’s never hope when she’s about and alone.

It’s a sadness she has to bear.

It’s not a sadness I’d wish on anybody, much less one of us. She’s the most broken of all of us.

And yet the strongest. She manages. We would do well to emulate her.

Maybe… but I wish we could help her.

~*~

Spoiler for Author's Notes:

I'm not sure how much I like this chapter. There's chance of heavy revision >_<.

It's also the first chapter with a huge chance of canon inconsistencies. Please point out any you may spot.

And if you've bothered to read to this point, thank you. I hope you're enjoying it.

[Jimmy C]

Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge

It's also the first chapter with a huge chance of canon inconsistencies. Please point out any you may spot.

Not an inconsistency, yet, but I can't quite see how this fight is going to go from rampaging Defense Program to sprouting branches all over the Hestia to take over it, which is how it was shown in A's.

And if you've bothered to read to this point, thank you. I hope you're enjoying it.

I certainly am. Looking forward to future chapters.

And perhaps you could reconsider this line,

That all implied that the hole was something that Signum hated to not be with was absent at all times…

The amount of negatives in that line is just staggering. I think it'd be easier to understand if you could reduce it down to two, tops. Also, I think it'd sound better if you put a "was" before "made bigger" that follows this line.

[Evil Rick]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Saved by the Bell is now printed :3 It's something awesome to have one of your fics in book format in your hands <3 I'll scan some later

That's cool

[illidan182]

I would like to start off my re-emergance with a big... and I mean big...


GRATS SATASHI

>_> Ok then... This is going to be HELL for me to go thru this backlog, but well here I go, wish me luck Shiny!!

[TheShinySword]

Originally Posted by illidan182

I would like to start off my re-emergance with a big... and I mean big...


GRATS SATASHI

>_> Ok then... This is going to be HELL for me to go thru this backlog, but well here I go, wish me luck Shiny!!

*clears throat* Good! Luck! Good! Luck! Good! Luck! GOOOOOO!

@Satashi: This is a silly request but could you take a picture of the spin? I kinda wanna see how thick it is

[spawnofthejudge]

Originally Posted by Jimmy C

The amount of negatives in that line is just staggering. I think it'd be easier to understand if you could reduce it down to two, tops. Also, I think it'd sound better if you put a "was" before "made bigger" that follows this line.

Yeah, that was more confusing than intended, certainly. I'll play with it later...

Hopefully I can make it segue properly into the canon scenes, but we'll see.

[Jimmy C]

Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge

Hopefully I can make it segue properly into the canon scenes, but we'll see.

All the best to you. The way events in A's are potrayed, I think the Book was incomplete when it attempted to take over the Hestia like that. As you've written, the completed Book doesn't need to take over the ship to destroy the fleet.
Perhaps backtracking and rewriting it as the Book going into action before it's complete?

[spawnofthejudge]

Originally Posted by Jimmy C

All the best to you. The way events in A's are potrayed, I think the Book was incomplete when it attempted to take over the Hestia like that. As you've written, the completed Book doesn't need to take over the ship to destroy the fleet.
Perhaps backtracking and rewriting it as the Book going into action before it's complete?

Let me finish draft one first. I have an idea as to how to handle it, and I want to see what you all think.

[MeisterBabylon]

That's... just... nuts Satashi. how many did you print?! Which publisher?! Which store is carrying them?! @______________@

[Evil Rick]

Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon

That's... just... nuts Satashi. how many did you print?! Which publisher?! Which store is carrying them?! @______________@

Man, obviously it can't be published or sell, Satashi print is for personal use, he/she told me about the site si if I wanted to print my comics.

[itanshi1]

Yep, lots of webcomickers use lulu.com. Looks great, makes me want to reread it ^^

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by Evil Rick

Man, obviously it can't be published or sell,

One word: doujinshi.

[Advent000]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Saved by the Bell is now printed :3 It's something awesome to have one of your fics in book format in your hands <3 I'll scan some later

Wow, how did this happen.

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Saved by the Bell is now printed :3 It's something awesome to have one of your fics in book format in your hands <3 I'll scan some later

Spoiler:

*winces* Nice to see you printed it and all, but you really should have run that cover past some of the shoppers among us. The text and the images blur together, both on the front and the back, making them hard to read.

[Satashi]

@thread: Copyrights can be handled, but as of this moment, it's a personal Non-profit deal. Only one is printed right now, it was just to see how the pages were, how the book is, the quality, ect. Now that I have this one done I'm going to do it properly.

Also, as for doujinshi, Emerald Bell is getting an overhaul with a new front/back cover art and maybe some minor touch ups. It'll be printed on the high quality thicker paper, full color front/back, and the "perfect bound" binding (AKA like a real book, not staples) I think the doujin will run about 13-15 USD (that's including shipping I think.) and will be released probably through me at "cost" AKA, no profit for me.

As for Saved by the Bell, It's going to get a lot thicker than what I have. The font is way too small. I'm guessing it'll be about 400-450 pages long.

Also, will anyone be willing to make me nice front/back cover art for the real printing of it? Only Angel's pics, though.

If people want it or any other one of my fics, I'll have more printed and given to you, it was only 9$ for that book + shipping. Not going to "Sell" them until Lulu handles the copyrights, but I'd be more than happy to send you a copy for the base cost of what it cost me to print it :3

[Nina.Wolken]

Congratulation Satashi! That's a great achievement! m_m
Just one question : is international shipping available?

[Master Kosa]

@Satashi: it's kinda awesome. I think I really want the Bell set, so I second Nina's question (I live in EU).

[Satashi]

As I'm not publishing to the public (without copyrights) All I can legally do is private use for non-profit. AKA it's like printing it yourself at home and loaning to a friend, perfectly legal as long as you don't try and make money off of it.

So yes, if you want it, I'll have it printed, shipped to me, you can paypal me the shipping cost to wherever you live + book printing fee and I'll ship it to you <3 I'll even sign it if you want ( OMG *flails* signing a book!)

I need someone to beta read SbtB too, since Angel picked up on chapter 7-ish..... *tries to talk Angel into beta-ing*

Edit: My mom stole my book T_T so no scans tonight

[Keroko]

StrikerS isn't licensed though, so wouldn't this count as a doujinshi?