Can a Man and a Women be just friends?

[Daniel E.]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Really? My best friends are guys. I don't feel like I relate to my gal pals as well as I do to my guy friends.

It's a generalized comment, really. I am sure many guys get along better with other dudes than they do with girls and viceversa. True also about people getting along better with the oppositive gender.

In a general sense, I do think the article holds a bit of truth to it.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Daniel E.

It's a generalized comment, really. I am sure many guys get along better with other dudes than they do with girls and viceversa. True also about people getting along better with the oppositive gender.

In a general sense, I do think the article holds a bit of truth to it.

Huh. I wonder why that is.

[Daniel E.]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Huh. I wonder why that is.

Why do I think the article holds a bit of truth? Personal experience mostly. I live in a country where machismo dictates a lot of actions among men, a way of thinking that doesn't get too emotional for the simply heck of not thinking of it as manly.

I grew up in that environment and won't deny it's effects on my way of thinking.

I do try to see things from other angles, though.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Daniel E.

Why do I think the article holds a bit of truth? Personal experience mostly. I live in a country where machismo dictates a lot of actions among men, a way of thinking that doesn't get too emotional for the simply heck of not thinking of it as manly.

I grew up in that environment and won't deny it's effects on my way of thinking.

I do try to see things from other angles, though.

I can see that.

I mean, why do we sometimes feel more comfortable and open around friends of the opposite gender instead of friends of the same gender? Shouldn't it be the other way around?

[Daniel E.]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I mean, why do we sometimes feel more comfortable and open around friends of the opposite gender instead of friends of the same gender? Shouldn't it be the other way around?

Maybe our childhoods have something to do with it. If a girl spends her younger years with many boy-friends (I hate you english ) she could easily learn to trust them more than other girls around her.

At the same time, it could also be a factor among many.

[Cinocard]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I can see that.

I mean, why do we sometimes feel more comfortable and open around friends of the opposite gender instead of friends of the same gender? Shouldn't it be the other way around?

I think with same-sex friends, many times we see ourselves in them, and see them in ourselves, so we hold back and not talk about certain issues.

Furthermore, we are often more "active," harsh and "ruthless" when it come to advices for same sex friends, and there's a lot of reasons for this. If it's someone of the opposite sex, we somehow become a better listener. Personally, when I feel that talking to my gal friends make me feel at ease, the one who can be straightforward and show me where my life is wrong is not a woman, but always a man.

[Irkalla]

No, absolutely not. If the guy doesn't want to jump the girls bones, the girl most definitely wants to jump his. And the later is more often, because all girls are closet whores deep down anyway.

[npcomplete]

I would modify and qualify the poll question:

Can a man and women who are not attracted to each other be just friends?
- Yes

Can a man and women who are attracted to each other act as friends?
- Yes

Can a man and women who are attracted to each other think of each other as just friends?
- No

[Gin]

Originally Posted by Zaseka

No, absolutely not. If the guy doesn't want to jump the girls bones, the girl most definitely wants to jump his. And the later is more often, because all girls are closet whores deep down anyway.

So can I safely assume that you want to 'jump my bones'?

Originally Posted by npcomplete

I would modify and qualify the poll question:

Can a man and women who are not attracted to each other be just friends?
- Yes

Can a man and women who are attracted to each other act as friends?
- Yes

Can a man and women who are attracted to each other think of each other as just friends?
- No

Exactly, if both people are heterosexual, and one of them is attracted to the other, then no they can't be just friends. But I also think that having sex with a girl shouldn't stop me from beings friends with her.

[cheyannew]

Originally Posted by npcomplete

I would modify and qualify the poll question:

Can a man and women who are not attracted to each other be just friends?
- Yes

Can a man and women who are attracted to each other act as friends?
- Yes

Can a man and women who are attracted to each other think of each other as just friends?
- No

I have to disagree with this; I have friends to whom I'm attracted, and vice versa. We're just friends and always will be; why would we think we're anything other than friends? My friend can't help that he's ungodly hot LOL Besides, we're both married, and he's not poly, so friends is it, and I'm a-ok with that.

I also wanted to mention something on the whole opposite gender friend thing.

Girls tend to have male friends because let's face it, women can be catty and nasty, the competition factor, and whatnot. Males can't be sensitive, vulnerable creatures with their male friends, so almost every guy I know has some female ones, they come to for advice, etc, because their guy friends would razz the hells out of them for being "weak" or whatever stupidity.

I don't have many female friends, because quite honestly, my interests aren't theirs; I'm a gamer, a geek, and so on. I could care less about fashion, etc etc, so I don't hang out with other women much, save for my girlfriend and a few others (it's of note, though, that most of those others are wives or girlfriends of my male friends). My husband only has a handful of friends, all male, but his best friend in the world, as he puts it, is me. He comes to me whenever he needs to do the anti-macho thing

I need to not post when sleep deprived, my ramblings end up not making sense even to me o.O

[Ascaloth]

Originally Posted by Narona

There's a difference between being direct as asking a girl out, and aiming for the girl's lips without any authorization! Just be happy that you tried that on the right girl! Cos it could have ended way worse

Nonono, I'm not referring to that story, I was referring to this story!

[npcomplete]

Originally Posted by cheyannew

I have to disagree with this; I have friends to whom I'm attracted, and vice versa. We're just friends and always will be; why would we think we're anything other than friends? My friend can't help that he's ungodly hot LOL Besides, we're both married, and he's not poly, so friends is it, and I'm a-ok with that.

Oh yeah I can believe that. I should clarify what I meant: that even when two people find each other attractive, it's certain possible to behave as friends forever. But to think of each other--to view each other--as you would an unattractive friend or just a good buddy is not possible from the fact that there is a desire in that attraction. A desire which is only tempered by your and/or the other persons own beliefs, moral views, societal taboos, etc.

I also wanted to mention something on the whole opposite gender friend thing.

Girls tend to have male friends because let's face it, women can be catty and nasty, the competition factor, and whatnot.

Really? Not angels?

Males can't be sensitive, vulnerable creatures with their male friends, so almost every guy I know has some female ones, they come to for advice, etc, because their guy friends would razz the hells out of them for being "weak" or whatever stupidity.

Yeah it's impossible for some guys to comprehend why their buddies would watch "girly" shows..

I don't have many female friends, because quite honestly, my interests aren't theirs; I'm a gamer, a geek, and so on. I could care less about fashion, etc etc, so I don't hang out with other women much, save for my girlfriend and a few others (it's of note, though, that most of those others are wives or girlfriends of my male friends). My husband only has a handful of friends, all male, but his best friend in the world, as he puts it, is me. He comes to me whenever he needs to do the anti-macho thing

Antipasto?

(and the part about you being his best friend is totally awesome btw)

[Narona]

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

Nonono, I'm not referring to that story, I was referring to this story!

It's true that it amused me I alreday said that not all girls dislike the men who do what you do, but you should still be careful, because the girls who dislike some things you do are also out there (i meant to steal kisses). Beside that, being direct about your feelings (minus when you steal kisses) is not a bad thing, because you know a lot of us are sharper, so no need to hide it. Being blunt and clear (minus for you know what) is a good point in my opinion.

Anyway, as I said, you seem to have met a girl who like you for what you are (even if so far she doesn't want your relationship to be official), so I hope it will work out

Originally Posted by npcomplete

Really? Not angels?

There there. There are some, but not all. Same for boys, no ?

[Ascaloth]

Originally Posted by Narona

It's true that it amused me I alreday said that not all girls dislike the men who do what you do, but you should still be careful, because the girls who dislike some things you do are also out there (i meant to steal kisses). Beside that, being direct about your feelings (minus when you steal kisses) is not a bad thing, because you know a lot of us are sharper, so no need to hide it. Being blunt and clear (minus for you know what) is a good point in my opinion.

Well, I'm pretty sure I'm good enough at telling which kind of girls are one I can steal kisses from and which kind of girls I can't, but....oui, madame.

Anyway, as I said, you seem to have met a girl who like you for what you are (even if so far she doesn't want your relationship to be official), so I hope it will work out

Merci, madame.

[Kusa-San]

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

Merci, madame.

When you talk to a young lady, "Mademoiselle" is better than "Madame" because like that you will not suffer her wrath

[RadiantBeam]

I'd comment, but I took Spanish in high scool, not French.

[Daniel E.]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I'd comment, but I took Spanish in high scool, not French.

Don't know a thing in French, but I am guessing it's similar to spanish in how one must never refer to a young (unmarried) lady as Señora and must always use Señorita instead.

Of course, if a girl never marries, she could be refered as a Señorita all her life.

[Kusa-San]

Yep it's the same In France even if it's also used to make the difference between a young lady and an older one

[Ascaloth]

Originally Posted by Kusa-San

When you talk to a young lady, "Mademoiselle" is better than "Madame" because like that you will not suffer her wrath

I have a fatal weakness. When it comes to the ladies, I love to tempt fate.

[Mystique]

Noting on the the gender female differences, it occurs in english too.
Ms vs Miss.

Typically, the social notion of Ms is a woman who has been divorced or is middle aged. Single young peeps are typically 'Miss' Mrs (naturally, is a married woman)

So applying Ms to me, does make me twitch too, lol.

Eitherway methinks we should skip back to topic on end or let the thread lie