[Spoilers] What a Naruto character would never say

[Mr. Johnny 5]

Naruto vs Itachi.

Naruto: Itachi!! Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!
Itachi: !!
Itachi: I give up.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Naruto (eating) & Sakura (looking at Naruto)
Sakura: Naruto...
Naruto: Get lost! I am eating.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ninja Academy
Random kids: Sensei who is that!?
Iruka: Kakashi?
Iruka: What are you doing in my class?
Kakashi: I need to learn how to read! I got a new book from Jiraiya-sama but this one doesnt have any pictures.
Kakashi: And he told me this one is the best so far.
Iruka: Do you want me to read it for you? Kids listen up...i'll tell you a story from this book.
Kakashi: No, wait that's my...
Iruka: Let's see....!!!!
Kids: Well read it!
Iruka:

[MadaraUchiha]

Originally Posted by Mr. Johnny 5

Naruto vs Itachi.

Naruto: Itachi!! Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!
Itachi: !!
Itachi: I give up.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Naruto (eating) & Sakura (looking at Naruto)
Sakura: Naruto...
Naruto: Get lost! I am eating.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ninja Academy
Random kids: Sensei who is that!?
Iruka: Kakashi?
Iruka: What are you doing in my class?
Kakashi: I need to learn how to read! I got a new book from Jiraiya-sama but this one doesnt have any pictures.
Kakashi: And he told me this one is the best so far.
Iruka: Do you want me to read it for you? Kids listen up...i'll tell you a story from this book.
Kakashi: No, wait that's my...
Iruka: Let's see....!!!!
Kids: Well read it!
Iruka:

HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Ninja academy i love the faces here is mine.

Spoiler for ojdsbvpq:

At a village wide press conference with reporters and all available village ninja.
*Hokage walks outside*
*crowd applauds+
Hokage: Please be seated.
Hokage: Hello, Konoha. As you know there is an Asteroid the size ot Tsunade's boobs speeding towards the country as we speak. I would like to take a moment out of the say to adress the allegations that this is somehow me fault.
*Holds up the KONOHA TIMES with the headline ASTEROID COMING... Old Hokage's Fault
Hokage: Firstly, i would like to say that these allegations are absolutely and 100% False.
Hokage: Secondly, and most importantly, I would like to say that You MOTHERF@#%ers DISGUST ME!!! You're God Damn right i said it.
Hokage: If you knew just one of the things i was sworn to secrecy to you would buckle under the goddamn pressure.
Reporter: Sarutobi! Sarutobi! Like what?
Hokage:How about this?
*Pulls out a medical vile full of a red liquid*
Hokage: I have here in my hand the cure for AIDS! We've had this for 20 yrs.
*Throws bottle into crowd where it is caught by a reporter*
Hokage: Go meet Jirayia he'll show you some girls that will give you a GREAT weekend.Did i shock you? Are you crazy yet? Well, i have someone I'd like you to meet. Come up here Shodiame.
*Gasps from everyone on the crowd as the first hokage approaches*
Hokage: Konoha, I'd like you to meet my good freind Shodaime. And here's Shodaime again.*another Shodaime approaches*. And here's Shodaime one more time.* a Third Shodaime approaches*. We cloned these three B!@$%!es in a Labrotory some 19 odd years ago. Not only that we added a pinch of Orochimaru Genes so that they could do things like this.
* The three Shodaime's lash out there snake tounges and all three suggestively rub them together.*
Hokage: Thank you, that will be engough. Oh, Shodaime, here is the cure for AIDS sorry about last night.
Hokage: Hem hem, freaked out yet? Have I blown your mind? Or do you still think you can handle my job? Because if you're cocky and you think you've got a hold of this I still got some information for you. Would you like to know if NAruto will become a Hokage.
Crowd: Yes! Yes! Will he?
Hokage: Yes! Naruto will become a hokage. With the help of a gun. Yes, guns, firearms and sophisticated technology not known to many of us do exist and have been, to our knowledge, for around 2,000 years.
Hokage:I am not finished yet I have some more information that might startle you.
*Hokage Sighs*
Hokage: The R. Kelly sex tapes. That wasn't R. Kelly, that was ME! That's right, I urinate on people when i have sex with them. I am a disgusting human bieng and I apologize to all the people I have hurt and Peed on. I bet that blew your mind right there now didn't I? I'm really on a roll when I dont care cuz the world"s gonna end any day now.
Hokage: I just want to say there is no hop for us, theres no way to stop the Asteroid and your all gonna die. Everyone except for me because i am in Fact...The ARCHITECT!!! HAHAHAHAHAHH. HA HA HHAHAHAHAH. MUAHAHAHAHAH. Oh and by the way...PSYCHE!!!!

[Abel-kun]

Naruto: 'KAAAMEEEEHAAAMEEEHAAA!'
actualy to be honest i dunno if i wuld put this past kishi

[2Fang]

Rock Lee: Close-combat fighting is for losers.

Ouch.

[kazune-kun]

Naruto (singing) : "Nani ga okite mo kibun wa heno-heno kappa CHA-LA HEAD CHA-LA!!" (transforms into a huge alien gorilla and starts stomping his feet)

[kuzon234ray]

Uhmmmm, somewhat spoilers... I guess

Deidara: Itachi, your awsome!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deidara: Art? Pssh, that's dumb....

Orochimaru: Ew! Snakes! Get them away from me!

Tobi: Don't worry. I'll take care of this fight.


Uhhhhh, that's all I got....

[Vizard.King]

i read this in a comic somewhere:

hinata: hey naruto i wanted to have (sex)
intercome:attention
hinata:with u
intercome:the next match begins in 5 mins
hinata:<he probably thinks im a dirty slut right now>
naruto:<wat does she wanna hav w/ me lunch? yeah that seems 'bout right> sure hinata we can eat out
hinatah thank u naruto-kun

srry for the double post but:

Jiriaya:hey tsunade wanna come over for some gambling
tsunade:hell yeah
orochimaru:lets play strip poker the first one to lose gets raped

2 hours later

tsunade: im never games with u 2 ever again
jiraiya:but it was fun
orochimaru:its not my fault i was hoping jiraiya would lose
jiraiya and tsunade:
orochimaru; i've said too much
3rd hokage:hey guys wanna play some card games?
<tsunade runs up and punches him in the face>
3rd hokage(now with a bloody nose): wats her problem

[Mr. Johnny 5]

Originally Posted by MadaraUchiha

HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Ninja academy i love the faces here is mine.

Spoiler for ojdsbvpq:

At a village wide press conference with reporters and all available village ninja.
*Hokage walks outside*
*crowd applauds+
Hokage: Please be seated.
Hokage: Hello, Konoha. As you know there is an Asteroid the size ot Tsunade's boobs speeding towards the country as we speak. I would like to take a moment out of the say to adress the allegations that this is somehow me fault.
*Holds up the KONOHA TIMES with the headline ASTEROID COMING... Old Hokage's Fault
Hokage: Firstly, i would like to say that these allegations are absolutely and 100% False.
Hokage: Secondly, and most importantly, I would like to say that You MOTHERF@#%ers DISGUST ME!!! You're God Damn right i said it.
Hokage: If you knew just one of the things i was sworn to secrecy to you would buckle under the goddamn pressure.
Reporter: Sarutobi! Sarutobi! Like what?
Hokage:How about this?
*Pulls out a medical vile full of a red liquid*
Hokage: I have here in my hand the cure for AIDS! We've had this for 20 yrs.
*Throws bottle into crowd where it is caught by a reporter*
Hokage: Go meet Jirayia he'll show you some girls that will give you a GREAT weekend.Did i shock you? Are you crazy yet? Well, i have someone I'd like you to meet. Come up here Shodiame.
*Gasps from everyone on the crowd as the first hokage approaches*
Hokage: Konoha, I'd like you to meet my good freind Shodaime. And here's Shodaime again.*another Shodaime approaches*. And here's Shodaime one more time.* a Third Shodaime approaches*. We cloned these three B!@$%!es in a Labrotory some 19 odd years ago. Not only that we added a pinch of Orochimaru Genes so that they could do things like this.
* The three Shodaime's lash out there snake tounges and all three suggestively rub them together.*
Hokage: Thank you, that will be engough. Oh, Shodaime, here is the cure for AIDS sorry about last night.
Hokage: Hem hem, freaked out yet? Have I blown your mind? Or do you still think you can handle my job? Because if you're cocky and you think you've got a hold of this I still got some information for you. Would you like to know if NAruto will become a Hokage.
Crowd: Yes! Yes! Will he?
Hokage: Yes! Naruto will become a hokage. With the help of a gun. Yes, guns, firearms and sophisticated technology not known to many of us do exist and have been, to our knowledge, for around 2,000 years.
Hokage:I am not finished yet I have some more information that might startle you.
*Hokage Sighs*
Hokage: The R. Kelly sex tapes. That wasn't R. Kelly, that was ME! That's right, I urinate on people when i have sex with them. I am a disgusting human bieng and I apologize to all the people I have hurt and Peed on. I bet that blew your mind right there now didn't I? I'm really on a roll when I dont care cuz the world"s gonna end any day now.
Hokage: I just want to say there is no hop for us, theres no way to stop the Asteroid and your all gonna die. Everyone except for me because i am in Fact...The ARCHITECT!!! HAHAHAHAHAHH. HA HA HHAHAHAHAH. MUAHAHAHAHAH. Oh and by the way...PSYCHE!!!!

LoL that is really something Sandaime would never say indeed. I got another one though.

Within the village of Konoha our main characters Sakura & Kakashi are looking for Naruto....

Sakura: Where could he be?? We were supposed to meet here..
Kakashi: Hmmmm (thinking)....He must be at the Ramen Shop.

At the Ramen Shop
Owner: Welcome!
Sakura: Excuse me...Have you seen Naruto?
Owner: Hmm (thinking)....i think so...he came this direction but then suddenly ran away...he seemed in a hurry..
Kakashi & Sakura:
Kakashi: Well...let's check out if he's home.

At Naruto's door
{Knock Knock!!}
Naruto: Shit who is it?! (approaching the door)
Naruto: (opens the door) What is it!? Get lost or come in quick!
Sakura & Kakashi:
Sakura: Idiot! We have our mission! Get you equipment!
Naruto: ....
Kakashi: Well...it's an S-Rank if you want to know...
Naruto: I am not interested at the moment!
Kakashi:
Sakura:
Naruto: Sakura!!! Move Bitch!! Bleach is starting! You are in front of the TV!

================================================== =======
========================[Up next Shino!!]=====================

Spoiler for shocking!:

Somewhere deep in the forest are our other heroes...on their way home from their mission. They had to spend the night in the forest since it was getting too late to move.

Starring!


Hinata holds a secret...she hate bugs so sometimes at night when Kiba & Shino are sleeping she uses her anti-bug spray to kill a few. She also hates people that have a bad scent so every now and then she buy's some parfum and deodorant for Kiba and Akamaru.

Deep in the forest
Shino: We will camp here..
Kiba: Right...
Hinata: Mmmkay...

In their tent...Shino, Kiba & Akamaru seems to be sleeping.
Hinata: Let's see...where are my spray's...
Hinata: Shit where is it! Byakugan!

Hinata: Ahh there it is...
Shino: Hinata...why are you not sleeping?

Hinata: Ahh erhmmmm (starts to sweat!, quickly hides the spray's!!)
Hinata: (thinking shit!! i thought he was asleep)
Hinata: (thinking shit!! i am in trouble...what should i say...what should i do??)
Hinata: Eeeerrhmm.....I was thinking about how to seduce Naruto...

Shino: ....

Shino: Well...think tommorow about it...you need to rest. We had a rough mission.
Hinata: Uhuh.....okay.....

Next Morning!
Kiba: Shino...have you seen that deodorant of mine?
Shino: Yes they are there....
Kiba: (spraying like hell!!)
Kiba: ahhh shoot!! it's empty...
Shino: Did you had to empty that thing?
Kiba: Well i still have another one if you like....
Shino: Hm....well ok...because that's part of teamwork.
Hinata: Good morning...
Shino & Kiba: morning...
Akamaru: (barks)

Kiba: Huh...where is it? Well perhaps Hinata has another one in her bag.
Kiba: Ahh i got it... here Shino! You should also spray alot...
Shino: Well ok....because that's good for the teamwork...
Kiba: (Sneezes) That thing doesnt smell good...
Shino: Bugs starts to die....
Shino: !!! Kiba! Do you think that was funny?
Kiba: I didnt knew that!? Someone switched them!
Hinata: (noticed the bugs dying...smiling sneaky behind their backs)
Shino: Glaring at Kiba....

Kiba: Damn...sabotage?!? We were ambushed??! Akamaru do you smell someone!?!
Shino: Starts to glare at Hinata
Hinata:

[Mr. Johnny 5]

Lee: They call me a dropshot but my dad the slowpoke is called a genius?
Lee: I guess they judge me for my looks ..
Lee: What should i do? Dad...

Bruce: What did you call me? I'll teach you something that you will NEVER forget....

Spoiler for after the training:

What else did you expect but a serious punishment?

[Obito Uchiha]

Originally Posted by Mr. Johnny 5

Lee: They call me a dropshot but my dad the slowpoke is called a genius?
Lee: I guess they judge me for my looks ..
Lee: What should i do? Dad...

Bruce: What did you call me? I'll teach you something that you will NEVER forget....

Spoiler for after the training:

What else did you expect but a serious punishment?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[Luminion Lancer]

-The following is a Yaoi-parody for all those crazy fangirls who will read any yaoi manga that's dangled in front of them...

Sasuke: *depressing sigh*.
Naruto: Hey Sasuke! Wow you're quite the grouch ain't ya? Do you need a hug?
Sasuke: I am not a very huggable person.
Naruto: Then how about a kiss?
Sasuke: Are you hitting on me? Besides we already *angry mumble*...
Naruto: Whatever gave you that idea?
Sasuke: Well you're being kinda frontal about it...
Naruto: Please it's just a suggestion. Then how about I get some cream, pour it all over your body and lick it all off?
Sasuke: THERE you just did it AGAIN!
Naruto: Whatever do you mean?
Sasuke: Grrrr, that's it prepare to die! Fight me now!
Naruto: Alright let's go make hot, sweaty, monkey love....I mean "You're on-dattebayo!"

[Obito Uchiha]

Originally Posted by Fukitsu Naruto

-The following is a Yaoi-parody for all those crazy fangirls who will read any yaoi manga that's dangled in front of them...

Sasuke: *depressing sigh*.
Naruto: Hey Sasuke! Wow you're quite the grouch ain't ya? Do yo need a hug?
Sasuke: I am not a very huggable person.
Naruto: Then how about a kiss?
Sasuke: Are you hitting on me? Besides we already *angry mumble*...
Naruto: Whatever gave you that idea?
Sasuke: Well you're being kinda frontal about it...
Naruto: Please it's just a suggestion. Then how about I get some cream, pour it all over your body an lick it all off?
Sasuke: THERE you just did it AGAIN!
Naruto: Whatever do you mean?
Sasuke: Grrrr, that's it prepare to die! Fight me now!
Naruto: Alright let's go make hot, sweaty, monkey love....I mean "You're on-dattebayo!"

Funny...but gave me very disgusting mental pictures

[Mr. Johnny 5]

Originally Posted by Abel-kun

Naruto,Kiba,shino,shika,neji: 'ITS MORPHING TIME.............GO GO POWER NINJAS!!'

...

Naruto: Gamabunta! I choose you!
Naruto: Waterbullet attack!

[Spectacular_Insanity]

Originally Posted by Mr. Johnny 5

Within the village of Konoha our main characters Sakura & Kakashi are looking for Naruto....

Sakura: Where could he be?? We were supposed to meet here..
Kakashi: Hmmmm (thinking)....He must be at the Ramen Shop.

At the Ramen Shop
Owner: Welcome!
Sakura: Excuse me...Have you seen Naruto?
Owner: Hmm (thinking)....i think so...he came this direction but then suddenly ran away...he seemed in a hurry..
Kakashi & Sakura:
Kakashi: Well...let's check out if he's home.

At Naruto's door
{Knock Knock!!}
Naruto: Shit who is it?! (approaching the door)
Naruto: (opens the door) What is it!? Get lost or come in quick!
Sakura & Kakashi:
Sakura: Idiot! We have our mission! Get you equipment!
Naruto: ....
Kakashi: Well...it's an S-Rank if you want to know...
Naruto: I am not interested at the moment!
Kakashi:
Sakura:
Naruto: Sakura!!! Move Bitch!! Bleach is starting! You are in front of the TV!

FOCROFLMAO!!!

[kakashi22]

Naruto : Hokaji will become!

garra : a sign of love and compassion

Kakashi : Ninja Duplicator strong

Rock lee:they Sinpo young boy

Njie : trying to develop Albekojan

Sakura : trying to do something is not like past episodes

and many of them can not remind them that


thank you very match

kakashi22

[razor886]

Originally Posted by Obito Uchiha

Funny...but gave me very disgusting mental pictures

Omg me too... I don't I wanna see Naruto and Sasuke face off anymore... Sweaty...

[Gaburansu]

Originally Posted by Fukitsu Naruto

-The following is a Yaoi-parody for all those crazy fangirls who will read any yaoi manga that's dangled in front of them...

Sasuke: *depressing sigh*.
Naruto: Hey Sasuke! Wow you're quite the grouch ain't ya? Do you need a hug?
Sasuke: I am not a very huggable person.
Naruto: Then how about a kiss?
Sasuke: Are you hitting on me? Besides we already *angry mumble*...
Naruto: Whatever gave you that idea?
Sasuke: Well you're being kinda frontal about it...
Naruto: Please it's just a suggestion. Then how about I get some cream, pour it all over your body an lick it all off?
Sasuke: THERE you just did it AGAIN!
Naruto: Whatever do you mean?
Sasuke: Grrrr, that's it prepare to die! Fight me now!
Naruto: Alright let's go make hot, sweaty, monkey love....I mean "You're on-dattebayo!"

AHAHAHAHAHA Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged! XD Nice though

[KyuubiRocks]

Neji to Hynata : " Byakugan!..OMG!.....THONGS!!!"

Tsunade to Jiraiya : " Wanna see my Assets!"

The 4th Hokage when sealing the Kyuubi : "S__T!! Wrong kid..i was aiming for Sasuke!!"

Naruto and all the boys are standing outside the ramen shop while the girls look on from a distance...Sakura is then overcome with curiosity faces Hynata..


Sakura : "Hynata...Why do you like Naruto soo much?"

Hynata faces Sakura,with Tenten,Ino and Temari looking on with excitment.

Hynata : " Byakugan!!"

Sakura,Tenten,Ino and Temari : " ??? ".

Hynata : "......because SIZE matters"...

Sakura,Tenten,Ino and Temari : " !!!!"..

Sakura : " But I thought Sasuke.."

Hynata : " sorry , you thought wrong"...

LOL...

[0TaKu0]

Originally Posted by KyuubiRocks

Neji to Hynata : " Byakugan!..OMG!.....THONGS!!!"

Tsunade to Jiraiya : " Wanna see my Assets!"

The 4th Hokage when sealing the Kyuubi : "S__T!! Wrong kid..i was aiming for Sasuke!!"

Naruto and all the boys are standing outside the ramen shop while the girls look on from a distance...Sakura is then overcome with curiosity faces Hynata..


Sakura : "Hynata...Why do you like Naruto soo much?"

Hynata faces Sakura,with Tenten,Ino and Temari looking on with excitment.

Hynata : " Byakugan!!"

Sakura,Tenten,Ino and Temari : " ??? ".

Hynata : "......because SIZE matters"...

Sakura,Tenten,Ino and Temari : " !!!!"..

Sakura : " But I thought Sasuke.."

Hynata : " sorry , you thought wrong"...

LOL...

ROFLMAO!!! Awesome! Easily one of the best on this thread. (Lol Sasuke has a small pee pee.) >_> It's funny cause its true.

Itachi: Sasuke . . .
Itachi: You lack . . . penis!

[Obito Uchiha]

Originally Posted by 0TaKu0

ROFLMAO!!! Awesome! Easily one of the best on this thread. (Lol Sasuke has a small pee pee.) >_> It's funny cause its true.

Itachi: Sasuke . . .
Itachi: You lack . . . penis!

HAHAHAHAH...thats the irony of it all, they are all asian. And if you go off the stereotypes.....