Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by Kaijo

Okay, here is my Christmas fic for you all, since it doesn't look like I'll get to the fics that people want to see until sometime after Christmas. But I did manage to whip this up at work, over the course of a couple of days. Hope it entertains...

Spoiler for Vivio's Close Encounter of the Jolly Kind:

Vivio's Close Encounter of the Jolly Kind


Twas the night before Christmas, a holiday not without merit,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a ferret.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that a gift-giver soon would be there.

An adpoted daughter was nestled all snug in her bed,
While visions of Kaiser form danced in her head.
With her mammas in their big bed, and her unable to sleep
she crept out her room, on her presents to peep

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
she peeked out a window, to see what was the matter.
Her first thoughts that came, that she wanted to know,
was "Since when did Clanagan ever get snow?"

The twin moons alighted the shiny white stuff,
"But to make a snowman," she pondered. "Was there enough?"
When, what to her wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight costumed reindeer.

With a little mage driver, the mistress of cosplay,
Vivo knew in a moment it must be Hayate.
And in a manner the young girl thought was quite lame,
The fake Clause cracked a whip, while she called them by name!

"Now Signum! Now, Vita! Now, Shamal and Yuuno!
On, Zafira! On, Arf-san! On Lindy and Chrono!"
"Hayate," whined Vita. "Could you at least lose the whip?"
"Reindeer don't speak!" she shot back. "So don't give me no lip!"

With the attitude of salarymen, tired from work,
The "reindeer" huffed under the cosplayer-gone-berserk.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys pulled by a strange, motley crew.

And then, in a twinkling, she heard on the roof
the sound of annoyed people, and one tired woof
Vivio dashed for cover, while Ms. Claus was ported in
revealing the fact the fact that she was no longer thin

She was dressed all in fur, from her foot to her head,
demonstrating the main reason why she was still quite unwed
A bundle of gifts she had flung on her back,
And she looked rather gleeful, just opening her pack.

She paused for a moment, to adjust her large beard
the entire situation, the eight-year-old finding quite wierd.
She even came with a couple of small floating elves,
who seemed a bit defeated, quite embarrassed themselves

"Did we really have to wear these outfits?" Agito complained.
Rein's eyes widened, the color from her face being drained.
"I'm sorry," Hayate told her, "if it's not to your liking;
I've got more outfits; how about a cute, little Viking?"

"I get the point!" Agito said, her hands in a defensive position.
"Good!" Hayate smiled. "Now shall we get on with our mission?"
The whole group of them, Vivio found quite insane;
But they were bringing more presents, so who was she to complain?

They spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,
Although Agito mumbled something that sounded like "jerk."
After they had finished laying out their huge stash,
Hayate Claus gave the signal, and they disappeared with a flash!

She sprang to her sleigh, to her team cracked a whip,
And away they all flew, to continue their trip.
Then Hayate exclaimed, as she drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Although a few parts were too similar to the original, I did laugh at it. It was cute and funny, and also had the amusing rhyme thing down pat. Points for Hayate

[EDIT] Page claim for S&M Santa(unwed)!Hayate

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Kaijo

Okay, here is my Christmas fic for you all, since it doesn't look like I'll get to the fics that people want to see until sometime after Christmas. But I did manage to whip this up at work, over the course of a couple of days. Hope it entertains...

Spoiler for Vivio's Close Encounter of the Jolly Kind:

Vivio's Close Encounter of the Jolly Kind


Twas the night before Christmas, a holiday not without merit,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a ferret.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that a gift-giver soon would be there.

An adpoted daughter was nestled all snug in her bed,
While visions of Kaiser form danced in her head.
With her mammas in their big bed, and her unable to sleep
she crept out her room, on her presents to peep

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
she peeked out a window, to see what was the matter.
Her first thoughts that came, that she wanted to know,
was "Since when did Clanagan ever get snow?"

The twin moons alighted the shiny white stuff,
"But to make a snowman," she pondered. "Was there enough?"
When, what to her wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight costumed reindeer.

With a little mage driver, the mistress of cosplay,
Vivo knew in a moment it must be Hayate.
And in a manner the young girl thought was quite lame,
The fake Clause cracked a whip, while she called them by name!

"Now Signum! Now, Vita! Now, Shamal and Yuuno!
On, Zafira! On, Arf-san! On Lindy and Chrono!"
"Hayate," whined Vita. "Could you at least lose the whip?"
"Reindeer don't speak!" she shot back. "So don't give me no lip!"

With the attitude of salarymen, tired from work,
The "reindeer" huffed under the cosplayer-gone-berserk.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys pulled by a strange, motley crew.

And then, in a twinkling, she heard on the roof
the sound of annoyed people, and one tired woof
Vivio dashed for cover, while Ms. Claus was ported in
revealing the fact the fact that she was no longer thin

She was dressed all in fur, from her foot to her head,
demonstrating the main reason why she was still quite unwed
A bundle of gifts she had flung on her back,
And she looked rather gleeful, just opening her pack.

She paused for a moment, to adjust her large beard
the entire situation, the eight-year-old finding quite wierd.
She even came with a couple of small floating elves,
who seemed a bit defeated, quite embarrassed themselves

"Did we really have to wear these outfits?" Agito complained.
Rein's eyes widened, the color from her face being drained.
"I'm sorry," Hayate told her, "if it's not to your liking;
I've got more outfits; how about a cute, little Viking?"

"I get the point!" Agito said, her hands in a defensive position.
"Good!" Hayate smiled. "Now shall we get on with our mission?"
The whole group of them, Vivio found quite insane;
But they were bringing more presents, so who was she to complain?

They spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,
Although Agito mumbled something that sounded like "jerk."
After they had finished laying out their huge stash,
Hayate Claus gave the signal, and they disappeared with a flash!

She sprang to her sleigh, to her team cracked a whip,
And away they all flew, to continue their trip.
Then Hayate exclaimed, as she drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

....

I think you broke my brain. Please fix it, thanks.

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge

Hysterical!

Though there was one mood whiplash moment:

"demonstrating the main reason why she was still quite unwed"

That made me and .

Everything else was brilliant.

Personally speaking, I'd still marry Hayate if given the chance, even if I'm forced to wear weird outfits a lot.

Originally Posted by Satashi

Although a few parts were too similar to the original, I did laugh at it. It was cute and funny, and also had the amusing rhyme thing down pat. Points for Hayate

[EDIT] Page claim for S&M Santa(unwed)!Hayate

Yeah, "some parts being too close" was a bit calculated, to keep it with a slightly familiar feel to the original. Although I was wondering if I should try altering more of it. I just wanted to do something silly with Hayate.

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

....

I think you broke my brain. Please fix it, thanks.

I've had no luck fixing mine, so my goal is to bring everyone else to my level. ^_^

[Rising Dragon]

Kaijo, I don't think my cat's amused by this poem. :V Not after the spit-take I did on her when I read it.

[Dark Knight Gafgar]

Originally Posted by Kaijo

Spoiler for Vivio's Close Encounter of the Jolly Kind:

snip

Various typos and in one line you repeated "the fact" twice. Other than that, however, nice.

[TheShinySword]

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

Uh, let's get this thread back on track here. So here's a look at what I'm working on right now:

Spoiler for How the Nakajimas Saved Christmas preview:

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

"… u… ru…”

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

“W… ke…”

The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of…

“S… b… u…!”

Sugar-plums danced…

“I said wake up damn it!”

“Huh, what?” Subaru’s head snapped up from her drool soaked pillow and looked around in confusion. Quickly coming to her senses, she scanned the darkness to find two familiar silhouettes. “Nove, Wendi, what is it? I know you want to open presents, but it’s not morning yet…”

“We know that!” Nove whispered fiercely. “But we have a problem!”

“Me and Nove went downstairs to take a little peek,” Wendi explained. “But there’s some strange person down there!”

“What do you mean?” This caused Subaru to spring out of her bed. “Is it a burglar?”

“We’re not sure, but it could be!” Wendi said urgently. “Come on, we’ll show you!”

The three cyborgs made their way downstairs on their tip toes, careful not to cause the floorboards to creek. They poked their heads through the doorway into the living room, where they saw a large shadow shuffling in the blackness.

‘See, we told you!’ Nove said mentally.

‘You’re right!’ Subaru frowned. ‘There’s no way I’m letting some crook steal Christmas! Let’s get him, girls!’

The other two nodded as they slowly crept into the room. The intruder seemed too busy in whatever he was doing to notice the three girls, so they easily got the drop on him. With suppressed battle cries, they jumped him and let their fists do all the talking.

The shadow gave muted yelps of pain as he was pummelled until his movement eventually ceased.

“Wendi, get the lights!” Subaru ordered. Wendi obliged and with the lights on, the three studied their quarry.

He was fat, wore a red suit, and had a fluffy white beard.

Subaru, Nove, and Wendi looked at him, then each other, and then him again.

“AHHH! WE KILLED SANTA CLAUS!” Subaru and Nove screamed.

“… You mean he really exists?” Wendi blinked and then she freaked out. “AND WE KILLED HIM!!!”

Subaru is going to be waiting for me under my tree this Christmas, so I felt it fitting that I use her as the starting point. Also, for being my 2nd favourite character I've never written a fic that featured her predominately (except that one time I had her watching GaoGaiGar with Vice ).

I laughed because it reminded me of two things. A. My favorite Chirstmas movie of all time, The Santa Clause. And B. The 9 page fic "A Very Zaffy Christmas" that I never finished last year Same premise different characters.

[Mae]

Originally Posted by Kaijo

Okay, here is my Christmas fic for you all, since it doesn't look like I'll get to the fics that people want to see until sometime after Christmas. But I did manage to whip this up at work, over the course of a couple of days. Hope it entertains...

Spoiler for Vivio's Close Encounter of the Jolly Kind:

Vivio's Close Encounter of the Jolly Kind


Twas the night before Christmas, a holiday not without merit,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a ferret.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that a gift-giver soon would be there.

An adpoted daughter was nestled all snug in her bed,
While visions of Kaiser form danced in her head.
With her mammas in their big bed, and her unable to sleep
she crept out her room, on her presents to peep

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
she peeked out a window, to see what was the matter.
Her first thoughts that came, that she wanted to know,
was "Since when did Clanagan ever get snow?"

The twin moons alighted the shiny white stuff,
"But to make a snowman," she pondered. "Was there enough?"
When, what to her wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight costumed reindeer.

With a little mage driver, the mistress of cosplay,
Vivo knew in a moment it must be Hayate.
And in a manner the young girl thought was quite lame,
The fake Clause cracked a whip, while she called them by name!

"Now Signum! Now, Vita! Now, Shamal and Yuuno!
On, Zafira! On, Arf-san! On Lindy and Chrono!"
"Hayate," whined Vita. "Could you at least lose the whip?"
"Reindeer don't speak!" she shot back. "So don't give me no lip!"

With the attitude of salarymen, tired from work,
The "reindeer" huffed under the cosplayer-gone-berserk.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys pulled by a strange, motley crew.

And then, in a twinkling, she heard on the roof
the sound of annoyed people, and one tired woof
Vivio dashed for cover, while Ms. Claus was ported in
revealing the fact the fact that she was no longer thin

She was dressed all in fur, from her foot to her head,
demonstrating the main reason why she was still quite unwed
A bundle of gifts she had flung on her back,
And she looked rather gleeful, just opening her pack.

She paused for a moment, to adjust her large beard
the entire situation, the eight-year-old finding quite wierd.
She even came with a couple of small floating elves,
who seemed a bit defeated, quite embarrassed themselves

"Did we really have to wear these outfits?" Agito complained.
Rein's eyes widened, the color from her face being drained.
"I'm sorry," Hayate told her, "if it's not to your liking;
I've got more outfits; how about a cute, little Viking?"

"I get the point!" Agito said, her hands in a defensive position.
"Good!" Hayate smiled. "Now shall we get on with our mission?"
The whole group of them, Vivio found quite insane;
But they were bringing more presents, so who was she to complain?

They spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,
Although Agito mumbled something that sounded like "jerk."
After they had finished laying out their huge stash,
Hayate Claus gave the signal, and they disappeared with a flash!

She sprang to her sleigh, to her team cracked a whip,
And away they all flew, to continue their trip.
Then Hayate exclaimed, as she drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

>w< b Mae approves this Christmas poem. Full of win

[Alavon]

Originally Posted by Kaijo

Okay, here is my Christmas fic for you all, since it doesn't look like I'll get to the fics that people want to see until sometime after Christmas. But I did manage to whip this up at work, over the course of a couple of days. Hope it entertains...

Spoiler for Vivio's Close Encounter of the Jolly Kind:

Vivio's Close Encounter of the Jolly Kind


Twas the night before Christmas, a holiday not without merit,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a ferret.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that a gift-giver soon would be there.

An adpoted daughter was nestled all snug in her bed,
While visions of Kaiser form danced in her head.
With her mammas in their big bed, and her unable to sleep
she crept out her room, on her presents to peep

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
she peeked out a window, to see what was the matter.
Her first thoughts that came, that she wanted to know,
was "Since when did Clanagan ever get snow?"

The twin moons alighted the shiny white stuff,
"But to make a snowman," she pondered. "Was there enough?"
When, what to her wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight costumed reindeer.

With a little mage driver, the mistress of cosplay,
Vivo knew in a moment it must be Hayate.
And in a manner the young girl thought was quite lame,
The fake Clause cracked a whip, while she called them by name!

"Now Signum! Now, Vita! Now, Shamal and Yuuno!
On, Zafira! On, Arf-san! On Lindy and Chrono!"
"Hayate," whined Vita. "Could you at least lose the whip?"
"Reindeer don't speak!" she shot back. "So don't give me no lip!"

With the attitude of salarymen, tired from work,
The "reindeer" huffed under the cosplayer-gone-berserk.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys pulled by a strange, motley crew.

And then, in a twinkling, she heard on the roof
the sound of annoyed people, and one tired woof
Vivio dashed for cover, while Ms. Claus was ported in
revealing the fact the fact that she was no longer thin

She was dressed all in fur, from her foot to her head,
demonstrating the main reason why she was still quite unwed
A bundle of gifts she had flung on her back,
And she looked rather gleeful, just opening her pack.

She paused for a moment, to adjust her large beard
the entire situation, the eight-year-old finding quite wierd.
She even came with a couple of small floating elves,
who seemed a bit defeated, quite embarrassed themselves

"Did we really have to wear these outfits?" Agito complained.
Rein's eyes widened, the color from her face being drained.
"I'm sorry," Hayate told her, "if it's not to your liking;
I've got more outfits; how about a cute, little Viking?"

"I get the point!" Agito said, her hands in a defensive position.
"Good!" Hayate smiled. "Now shall we get on with our mission?"
The whole group of them, Vivio found quite insane;
But they were bringing more presents, so who was she to complain?

They spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,
Although Agito mumbled something that sounded like "jerk."
After they had finished laying out their huge stash,
Hayate Claus gave the signal, and they disappeared with a flash!

She sprang to her sleigh, to her team cracked a whip,
And away they all flew, to continue their trip.
Then Hayate exclaimed, as she drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

I couldn't stop laughing! XD Great job!!!!!

[Outlaender]

Originally Posted by Kaijo

Okay, here is my Christmas fic for you all, since it doesn't look like I'll get to the fics that people want to see until sometime after Christmas. But I did manage to whip this up at work, over the course of a couple of days. Hope it entertains...

Spoiler for Vivio's Close Encounter of the Jolly Kind:

Vivio's Close Encounter of the Jolly Kind


Twas the night before Christmas, a holiday not without merit,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a ferret.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that a gift-giver soon would be there.

An adpoted daughter was nestled all snug in her bed,
While visions of Kaiser form danced in her head.
With her mammas in their big bed, and her unable to sleep
she crept out her room, on her presents to peep

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
she peeked out a window, to see what was the matter.
Her first thoughts that came, that she wanted to know,
was "Since when did Clanagan ever get snow?"

The twin moons alighted the shiny white stuff,
"But to make a snowman," she pondered. "Was there enough?"
When, what to her wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight costumed reindeer.

With a little mage driver, the mistress of cosplay,
Vivo knew in a moment it must be Hayate.
And in a manner the young girl thought was quite lame,
The fake Clause cracked a whip, while she called them by name!

"Now Signum! Now, Vita! Now, Shamal and Yuuno!
On, Zafira! On, Arf-san! On Lindy and Chrono!"
"Hayate," whined Vita. "Could you at least lose the whip?"
"Reindeer don't speak!" she shot back. "So don't give me no lip!"

With the attitude of salarymen, tired from work,
The "reindeer" huffed under the cosplayer-gone-berserk.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys pulled by a strange, motley crew.

And then, in a twinkling, she heard on the roof
the sound of annoyed people, and one tired woof
Vivio dashed for cover, while Ms. Claus was ported in
revealing the fact the fact that she was no longer thin

She was dressed all in fur, from her foot to her head,
demonstrating the main reason why she was still quite unwed
A bundle of gifts she had flung on her back,
And she looked rather gleeful, just opening her pack.

She paused for a moment, to adjust her large beard
the entire situation, the eight-year-old finding quite wierd.
She even came with a couple of small floating elves,
who seemed a bit defeated, quite embarrassed themselves

"Did we really have to wear these outfits?" Agito complained.
Rein's eyes widened, the color from her face being drained.
"I'm sorry," Hayate told her, "if it's not to your liking;
I've got more outfits; how about a cute, little Viking?"

"I get the point!" Agito said, her hands in a defensive position.
"Good!" Hayate smiled. "Now shall we get on with our mission?"
The whole group of them, Vivio found quite insane;
But they were bringing more presents, so who was she to complain?

They spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,
Although Agito mumbled something that sounded like "jerk."
After they had finished laying out their huge stash,
Hayate Claus gave the signal, and they disappeared with a flash!

She sprang to her sleigh, to her team cracked a whip,
And away they all flew, to continue their trip.
Then Hayate exclaimed, as she drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Bravo. Just... Bravo. ^_^

[Nanya01]

Seals is now up on FF.Net

Enjoy!

...I made no changes other than adding some notes.

[RadiantBeam]

....

I think this is the first time the FF.net version of "Day" has ever been completely caught up with the FFT version. o_O Not counting the second Omake with the kids, of course, but that should be up pretty soon given the time.

[Nanya01]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

....

I think this is the first time the FF.net version of "Day" has ever been completely caught up with the FFT version. o_O Not counting the second Omake with the kids, of course, but that should be up pretty soon given the time.

Well, when you post a chapter a day for a week...

[Alavon]

Great job Nanya and Radiantbeam! XD

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Alavon

Great job Nanya and Radiantbeam! XD

Uh, thanks....

Though when I think about it, the only reason I was able to dedicate so much time and energy to "Day" was because I was ignoring my other stories to work on it....

[Nanya01]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Uh, thanks....

Though when I think about it, the only reason I was able to dedicate so much time and energy to "Day" was because I was ignoring my other stories to work on it....

I think this is the longest this thread's gone without an update, but...

You know, if you ever wanted to stop, you can always tell me to stop (and not just because you're stressed from Finals)

[Tabasco]

Originally Posted by Nanya01

I think this is the longest this thread's gone without an update, but...

You know, if you ever wanted to stop, you can always tell me to stop (and not just because you're stressed from Finals)

Aw, not when it's really getting good!

But seriously, given the amount of wordage you two have put out over the last few months, a sabbatical is probably due.

[TheShinySword]

And considering how you've been feeling lately nanya I'd say bed rest and hot soup is in store for right now. *chucks Nanya in bed* Behave or I'll get Shamal to make the soup for you >:|

[Nanya01]

Originally Posted by TheShinySword

And considering how you've been feeling lately nanya I'd say bed rest and hot soup is in store for right now. *chucks Nanya in bed* Behave or I'll get Shamal to make the soup for you >:|

*Stumbles in* Soup sounds good... Too bad there's none around. *Stumbles back to bed, feeling the room spinning.*

[Nanya01]

Hey, I'm feeling much better today.

With that being said, Omake Special 2 is now up on FF.Net.

And now, all of "Day in the Life" that was posted in the FFT is now up on FF.Net.

[00-Raiser]

And this means my comments can now contribute to the creative process! Hurray!