Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[vic-vic]

Originally Posted by Yasanagi

Spoiler for More MD!:

From her spot on the command deck, Yami saw the explosions behind the multi-coloured barrier before it flickered and vanished. ‘As expected of the Starlight Destroyer…’

Speaking of Seikou, she received a quick telepathic call from the Nanoha replica. “Mission accomplished. Also-”

“Good work. I’ll prepare the docking area right away.” Material-D activated the switch to open the external doors and allow her companions to enter the ship safely. Once she confirmed that the ship had safely retrieved the trio, she restored life support to the area and restored pressure levels to normal.

…… wait a second. A trio? “Can someone explain why I’m detecting three life signs down there?”

“It would probably be better if you came down yourself and spoke to Material-L on this. She has apparently acquired a ‘sidekick’.”

“I’ll be there in a bit.” The Hayate replica closed the telepathic connection and got up from her chair just in time to run into Yuuno who nearly dropped the small stack of papers he had in his hand.

“Sorry!” The Librarian quickly passed by the Lord of Darkness and took a seat before his fingers flew across the navigation control to enter in a new flight plan.

“Just what has gotten you so excited, peasant?” asked Yami in a tone that was a mixture of curiosity and irritation.

“I finally figured it out! I know how to compensate for the natural warp in the space time fabric that you and the others create by being near each other!” He was going back and forth between his notes and the work console.

“Ah, yes… I believe that Material-S had brought that to my attention earlier…” She paused for a moment, wondering if this would be a good time to talk about what she did to him but upon seeing him hard at work, Yami decided to leave it be for now. There would be another opportunity later. “Well then, I’ll leave you to your work.”

As she slipped out, she felt Yersinia Kreuz connect with her mind. So it appears the spell is holding quite nicely. It looks like he’s now ready to be molded into the ideal servant.

‘Hmph…’

What’s with that attitude? Did I do something to annoy you?

‘I’m not annoyed at you. I’m annoyed at myself for not achieving what I wanted.’ Yami paused in her walk to the docking area where the others should be. ‘My natural charisma wasn’t enough to make him see the value of becoming my subject. In the end, I had to resort to using a spell to set his mind free. I cannot take any true satisfaction in this.’

It wasn’t like we had a choice. He perfectly understood what needed to be done and yet he still refused due to his beliefs about mutual feelings and that other gibberish.

‘In a sense, I find that an admirable quality. To hold on to his loyalties and principles to the end, even if that loyalty was misplaced to begin with-’ Material-D paused as she felt an odd throbbing in her head. ‘Ungh…… blasted migraine.’

Blame it on your friend for bringing this troublesome point up. What’s done is done so what’s the point of revisiting this foolishness?

She shook the headache off before resuming her walk. ‘You…… have a point. But at the very least, I should see him privately. Determine what has to be done and if her point of making amends is valid.’

The Tome merely grumbled in response. How utterly troublesome…

**********

*THUD*

“Ooff!” It was the only sound Touma made as he ended up with his back on the ground thanks to that reversal throw that Einhart pulled off. “Ugh… if you don’t mind, can we take five?”

“Very well.”

“Thanks.” He rolled over and managed to get his hands and knees against the surface to rise from the ground. It took a bit longer than expected since he was also trying to catch his breath.

As for his companion, she carefully observed him with a critical eye. ‘Hm… if I continue his physical conditioning at this rate, agility and coordination should increase by 5% in a week. Speed and physical strength will probably rise by 6% and his muscular development should benefit as a result. He should be well on his way to obtaining the optimal body mass index just like my ancestor Claus.’

“And… up we go…!” grunted Touma under his breath.

‘Yes, the optimal body mass index. Perfect pectorals, perfect posterior-’ All train of thought came to a screeching halt in Einhart’s mind. ‘WHAT AM I THINKING?!’

After finally getting back to his feet, the boy noticed his friend’s face that was turning redder by the second. “Uh… you okay?”

“Okay, break time’s over! Let’s go!” Yes, sparring with the boy should help her keep these hormone driven thoughts out of her brain.

“Aw, geez. Already?” And he thought Nove-sensei was a harsh trainer…

**********

Yuuno finally finished inputting in the flight path into the navigational control. Now that he has calculated the compensating factor, even if the Materials warp the space time fabric, the ship will still end up only a light distance away from Mid-Childa. As it was suggested by his research to activate the course lock-in module to prevent other flight deviations, he took the time to find the function on the X-3’s drive and activate it.

‘Everything’s all set! Course set… and engage!’ Once he tapped the last key and felt the ship move back into dimensional space, he let out a happy sigh. This time, he will make it home for sure! The others should be pleased to hear this as well…

And speaking of the girls, they were squabbling rather loudly in the hall. Best to do something about that. The minute he got up from his seat and opened the door, he felt someone tackle him to the ground.

“Does she hafta go back, Yuu-nii? She gave me those sad, sad puppy doggy eyes! I had to take her with me!” wailed Material-L who had deactivated her barrier jacket and was straddling him in that tight purple leather outfit of hers.

“Wait… what? Can someone explain what’s going on?” groaned Yuuno as he tried to get his bearings.

“She did not look at you with ‘sad, sad puppy doggy eyes’ as you put it so crudely,” came the sharp tone of Material-D from behind.

“You took her because you wanted a sidekick for your magical girl adventures,” said Material-S in her usual monotone before hearing a rustling sound and stepping aside.

A quick glance showed that the noise came from the tall woman who just emerged from one of the spare quarters. She had pink hair and was dressed in some spare clothes that had probably belonged to one of the previous occupants. It consisted of a simple blue dress shirt, a pair of jeans and black boots.

“Um… who are you and where did you come from?” asked the bewildered Librarian.

“My designation is Sette. I originated from Cell #4316 of the 'Lubsoulim' Orbit Prison’s 6th branch on Uninhabited World 17,” said the pink haired woman in a neutral tone that sounded a lot like Seikou’s.

“………would you please leave me alone for a moment? I want to engage in a meditation technique passed down through my clan for centuries.”

“What is it called, Yuu-nii?” asked Rai in a curious tone.

“Screaming.”

Poor Yuuno, he can`t take a break out of Materal`s weirdness.
But Yami thought show IMHO that she at last have a thing for Yuuno.

[Nitramy]

Twin Fates chapter 5 is up~

...hope you guys don't mind me giving Nanoha even a little background in her family's techniques.

[Moczo]

Originally Posted by Yasanagi

Spoiler for More MD!:

From her spot on the command deck, Yami saw the explosions behind the multi-coloured barrier before it flickered and vanished. ‘As expected of the Starlight Destroyer…’

Speaking of Seikou, she received a quick telepathic call from the Nanoha replica. “Mission accomplished. Also-”

“Good work. I’ll prepare the docking area right away.” Material-D activated the switch to open the external doors and allow her companions to enter the ship safely. Once she confirmed that the ship had safely retrieved the trio, she restored life support to the area and restored pressure levels to normal.

…… wait a second. A trio? “Can someone explain why I’m detecting three life signs down there?”

“It would probably be better if you came down yourself and spoke to Material-L on this. She has apparently acquired a ‘sidekick’.”

“I’ll be there in a bit.” The Hayate replica closed the telepathic connection and got up from her chair just in time to run into Yuuno who nearly dropped the small stack of papers he had in his hand.

“Sorry!” The Librarian quickly passed by the Lord of Darkness and took a seat before his fingers flew across the navigation control to enter in a new flight plan.

“Just what has gotten you so excited, peasant?” asked Yami in a tone that was a mixture of curiosity and irritation.

“I finally figured it out! I know how to compensate for the natural warp in the space time fabric that you and the others create by being near each other!” He was going back and forth between his notes and the work console.

“Ah, yes… I believe that Material-S had brought that to my attention earlier…” She paused for a moment, wondering if this would be a good time to talk about what she did to him but upon seeing him hard at work, Yami decided to leave it be for now. There would be another opportunity later. “Well then, I’ll leave you to your work.”

As she slipped out, she felt Yersinia Kreuz connect with her mind. So it appears the spell is holding quite nicely. It looks like he’s now ready to be molded into the ideal servant.

‘Hmph…’

What’s with that attitude? Did I do something to annoy you?

‘I’m not annoyed at you. I’m annoyed at myself for not achieving what I wanted.’ Yami paused in her walk to the docking area where the others should be. ‘My natural charisma wasn’t enough to make him see the value of becoming my subject. In the end, I had to resort to using a spell to set his mind free. I cannot take any true satisfaction in this.’

It wasn’t like we had a choice. He perfectly understood what needed to be done and yet he still refused due to his beliefs about mutual feelings and that other gibberish.

‘In a sense, I find that an admirable quality. To hold on to his loyalties and principles to the end, even if that loyalty was misplaced to begin with-’ Material-D paused as she felt an odd throbbing in her head. ‘Ungh…… blasted migraine.’

Blame it on your friend for bringing this troublesome point up. What’s done is done so what’s the point of revisiting this foolishness?

She shook the headache off before resuming her walk. ‘You…… have a point. But at the very least, I should see him privately. Determine what has to be done and if her point of making amends is valid.’

The Tome merely grumbled in response. How utterly troublesome…

**********

*THUD*

“Ooff!” It was the only sound Touma made as he ended up with his back on the ground thanks to that reversal throw that Einhart pulled off. “Ugh… if you don’t mind, can we take five?”

“Very well.”

“Thanks.” He rolled over and managed to get his hands and knees against the surface to rise from the ground. It took a bit longer than expected since he was also trying to catch his breath.

As for his companion, she carefully observed him with a critical eye. ‘Hm… if I continue his physical conditioning at this rate, agility and coordination should increase by 5% in a week. Speed and physical strength will probably rise by 6% and his muscular development should benefit as a result. He should be well on his way to obtaining the optimal body mass index just like my ancestor Claus.’

“And… up we go…!” grunted Touma under his breath.

‘Yes, the optimal body mass index. Perfect pectorals, perfect posterior-’ All train of thought came to a screeching halt in Einhart’s mind. ‘WHAT AM I THINKING?!’

After finally getting back to his feet, the boy noticed his friend’s face that was turning redder by the second. “Uh… you okay?”

“Okay, break time’s over! Let’s go!” Yes, sparring with the boy should help her keep these hormone driven thoughts out of her brain.

“Aw, geez. Already?” And he thought Nove-sensei was a harsh trainer…

**********

Yuuno finally finished inputting in the flight path into the navigational control. Now that he has calculated the compensating factor, even if the Materials warp the space time fabric, the ship will still end up only a light distance away from Mid-Childa. As it was suggested by his research to activate the course lock-in module to prevent other flight deviations, he took the time to find the function on the X-3’s drive and activate it.

‘Everything’s all set! Course set… and engage!’ Once he tapped the last key and felt the ship move back into dimensional space, he let out a happy sigh. This time, he will make it home for sure! The others should be pleased to hear this as well…

And speaking of the girls, they were squabbling rather loudly in the hall. Best to do something about that. The minute he got up from his seat and opened the door, he felt someone tackle him to the ground.

“Does she hafta go back, Yuu-nii? She gave me those sad, sad puppy doggy eyes! I had to take her with me!” wailed Material-L who had deactivated her barrier jacket and was straddling him in that tight purple leather outfit of hers.

“Wait… what? Can someone explain what’s going on?” groaned Yuuno as he tried to get his bearings.

“She did not look at you with ‘sad, sad puppy doggy eyes’ as you put it so crudely,” came the sharp tone of Material-D from behind.

“You took her because you wanted a sidekick for your magical girl adventures,” said Material-S in her usual monotone before hearing a rustling sound and stepping aside.

A quick glance showed that the noise came from the tall woman who just emerged from one of the spare quarters. She had pink hair and was dressed in some spare clothes that had probably belonged to one of the previous occupants. It consisted of a simple blue dress shirt, a pair of jeans and black boots.

“Um… who are you and where did you come from?” asked the bewildered Librarian.

“My designation is Sette. I originated from Cell #4316 of the 'Lubsoulim' Orbit Prison’s 6th branch on Uninhabited World 17,” said the pink haired woman in a neutral tone that sounded a lot like Seikou’s.

“………would you please leave me alone for a moment? I want to engage in a meditation technique passed down through my clan for centuries.”

“What is it called, Yuu-nii?” asked Rai in a curious tone.

“Screaming.”

Another good chapter. It's nice to see Yami starting to show some remorse, although obviously all three of them have a LOT to discuss with Yuuno. They, well... did kind of kill some folks.

[yuiseppe]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Huzzah, procrastination! I do that. A lot. Just look at my horrible, horrible track of updates...

*looks at horrible track of updates*

Indeed!

Obviously I myself got around to a fair bit of procrastination, but this was inspired by you:

Spoiler for A half windsor:

Not too happy with Lulu's expression - too wooden. The smoldering effect kind of fizzled on me. And it's 4am.

[SNobleJr]

Originally Posted by Yasanagi

Spoiler for More MD!:

-snip-

Heh. The punchline had me chuckling for a while.

Also, the tension's really building now; I'm getting rather curious about how the eventual confrontation between Yuuno and Material-D is gonna go down.

[Diamonds Dream]

Hi! I thought I'd join in with a little something that's bean bugging me for some time now, it'll give me something to do well I wait for the next chapter of Future Tense.

As a note, boys might not want to read this.

Spoiler for Time of the Month:

Fate leaned against the sink, her long hair falling forward unrestrained as she gently splashed her face with cold water. Shaking, she slowly brought her cupped hands to her mouth, letting the cool liquid slide between her lips. That's better, I don't feel so hot anymore, she thought groggily, her mind still hazy and half asleep. She pulled herself up to standing, her heart still racing from the dream that had awoken her in the first place. Just as Fate reached the door a wave of dizziness over took her and she fell to her knees, head spinning. What's happening? She was about to try standing up again when she heard footsteps coming toward her.

"Fate-chan? Fate-chan, where are you? Fate-chan!"

Almost instantly Fate felt Nanoha's arms wrap around her shoulders, tenderly pulling her into a comforting embrace, her head pressed against the other girl's chest. They stayed like that for almost five minutes, Nanoha whispering softly in Japanese, before Fate gently pushed away, slowly disentangled herself from her best friend. As she did this Nanoha tensed up, the look on her face somewhat disappointed.

"I'm sorry Nanoha, it's just too uncomfortable to stay like that." And it was true, the slight pain that had the been there when she woke up was now much worse, twisting her stomach into knots, and even spreading to her lower back. It made want to vomit.

"That's okay," Nanoha replied, shifting her position so that Fate could sit more up-right.

"Thank you." Fate said, slowly moving closer to the other girl, who put her arms around her again. Just then Fate became aware of the warm wetness spreading between her legs, hesitantly looking down she froze, there, seeping through her pajama bottoms, was a bright stain of blood.

Well, that didn't turn out like I expected, for one thing it was supposed to be longer, and the plot was different. Doesn't matter though, it was great to get that plot bunny off my chest.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by yuiseppe

*looks at horrible track of updates*

Indeed!

Obviously I myself got around to a fair bit of procrastination, but this was inspired by you:

Spoiler for A half windsor:

Not too happy with Lulu's expression - too wooden. The smoldering effect kind of fizzled on me. And it's 4am.

Yes, it's a horrible track. A very, very horrible track. Also, huzzah, I inspire fanart!

It looks awesome. And really, I actually love Lulu's expression there; I always imagined her either blanking out or freezing up when Vivio flirted with her like that, so I thought it fit her. ^^ Thank you very much!

Originally Posted by Diamonds Dream

Hi! I thought I'd join in with a little something that's bean bugging me for some time now, it'll give me something to do well I wait for the next chapter of Future Tense.

As a note, boys might not want to read this.

Spoiler for Time of the Month:

Fate leaned against the sink, her long hair falling forward unrestrained as she gently splashed her face with cold water. Shaking, she slowly brought her cupped hands to her mouth, letting the cool liquid slide between her lips. That's better, I don't feel so hot anymore, she thought groggily, her mind still hazy and half asleep. Pulling herself up to standing, her heart still racing from the dream that had awoken her in the first place. Just as Fate reached the door a wave of dizziness over took her and she fell to her knees, head spinning. What's happening? She was about to try standing up again when she heard footsteps coming toward her.

"Fate-chan? Fate-chan, where are you? Fate-chan!"

Almost instantly Fate felt Nanoha's arms wrap around her shoulders, tenderly pulling her into a comforting embrace, her head pressed against the other girl's chest. They stayed like that for almost five minutes, Nanoha whispering softly in Japanese, before Fate gently pushed away, slowly disentangled herself from her best friend. As she did this Nanoha tensed up, the look on her face somewhat disappointed.

"I'm sorry Nanoha, it's just too uncomfortable to stay like that." And it was true, the slight pain that had the been there when she woke up was now much worse, twisting her stomach into knots, and even spreading to her lower back. It made want to vomit.

"That's okay," Nanoha replied, shifting her position so that Fate could sit more up-right.

"Thank you." Fate said, slowly moving closer to the other girl, who put her arms around her again. Just then Fate became aware of the warm wetness spreading between her legs, hesitantly looking down she froze, there seeping through her pajama bottoms was a bright stain of blood.

Well, that didn't turn out like I expected, for one thing it was supposed to be longer, and the plot was different. Doesn't matter though, it was great to get that plot bunny off my chest.

Oh, ouchies, first one. I remember that. Not especially fondly. I didn't exactly panic since I knew it was coming, but I still got a little scared and called for my mom. My sister thought I was dying.

[Diamonds Dream]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Oh, ouchies, first one. I remember that. Not especially fondly. I didn't exactly panic since I knew it was coming, but I still got a little scared and called for my mom. My sister thought I was dying.

Yeah. Though my first one really wasn't that bad, just embarrassing.
Also, glad you liked the fic.

[deathcurse]

@Diamonds Dream: If it wasn't for the title, I would have thought that Fate was dying bloodily or something! The tone leading up to that last sentence really gave off this ominous air .

A rough update...Fate's testimony and the end of Trial Day 2. Looks like things aren't going so well between the three Aces...

Crime Never Sleeps
Part 11: Trial Day 2 end

“The worst things we do are always by our own choice.”

Spoiler for Crime Never Sleeps, part 11: Trial Day 2 end:

Trial Day 2 – Expert Witness Testimony #4

Fate swallowed—it wasn’t the first time she had testified in a courtroom, but the circumstances were different this time. She gave herself the luxury of glancing through the stands to make eye contact with her wife, letting Nanoha’s warm and encouraging smile boost her spirits again.

Normally, she testified to put criminals away. But this time, Fate kind of wished for a new experience.

She knew that it wasn’t fair of her to sympathize with Raven just because Raven was a young child. But Fate had children; she rescued children. Fate had lost parents; she had comforted orphans of violence.

Fate had gotten a second chance.

Wasn’t it only fair that she wanted to give another lost child that same chance?

Officer Jettal cleared his throat, getting Fate’s attention again. “Enforcer Harlaown, can you please describe the sentence you received from the TSAB after the Jewel Seed crisis?”

“I joined the TSAB as a temporary mage after I was acquitted for the charges I committed under my mother, Precia Testarossa’s, command,” Fate said carefully.

“Why were you acquitted for your charges?”

“I was just a minor at the time, and…” Fate took a breath, letting the calm settle in her stomach before continuing. “And I had wanted to be loyal to my mother.”

“In your opinion, are all children so inclined to please their parents?”

“Oh, yes.”

“Enforcer Harlaown, would you consider Raven to have been affected by the same desire to please her murdered parents, by bringing their murderers to justice?”

“Objection!” Auris cried out. “There is no proof that all of the defendant’s victims were involved in the Gallants’ murder.”

“Sustained,” Grangaitz said, his deep voice starting to sound weary.

Jettal gave a stiff jerk of his head and asked again, “Enforcer Harlaown, would you consider Raven to have been affected by the same desire to please her murdered parents, by bringing their perceived murderers to justice?”

“Yes.”

“From the previous day’s testimony, we know that child offenders are often unaware of the consequences of their actions. Add to this a desire to please or make up to her parents, it shows that Raven was influenced by mitigating factors when she killed the Hellhound gang members.” Fate could see Auris considering an objection to that last statement but held back, her eyes flicking over at Hayate and looking pleased at what she had seen there.

Thomas Jettal finished, “Historically, the TSAB has been lenient on misguided child offenders, choosing to rehabilitate them to give these youth a second chance to repent for their crimes and to become valuable members of society—such as the chance Ace Enforcer Fate Harlaown had once received from this court.”

Now Hayate stood for her cross-examination, and Fate swallowed, feeling her muscles tense. She felt Bardiche pulse inside her pocket as her partner reacted to her tension, although thankfully he didn’t set-up. Fate didn’t think that there was any counter-argument Hayate could make that wouldn’t sound hypocritical to the audience and jury, since although the Book of Darkness case hadn’t been brought forward as a direct example, everyone knew of it—and with that history, Hayate couldn’t openly strike down Jettal’s argument.

But in a way, that made it worse—since Fate knew that Hayate must have some plan of her own.

She would have preferred Auris Gaiz; since at least then, Fate didn’t have to take the questioning personally. With Hayate, even though Fate knew that she shouldn’t, she really couldn’t help it…and neither would Nanoha. Things were tough enough between the three of them already…

“Not all child offender cases are the same,” Hayate said to the room, and from the self-deprecating smile on her face she showed that she was very aware of the elephant in the room. “In previous cases, the charges revolved around property damage, possession of Lost Logia and resisting TSAB officials—not multiple counts of murder.

“Not only that, but the base motivation in the case of the juvenile offender Fate Testarossa differs from the case of juvenile murderer Raven Gallant. The defendant had already testified that she and her parents had a close, loving relationship.” She turned to Fate. “Enforcer Harlaown, was your mother, Precia Testarossa, physically abusive towards you?”

Fate barely kept herself from flinching, but she managed it. “Yes.”

“Was she physically or magically capable of killing you?”

“…Yes.”

“Precia Testarossa had killed her familiar Linith, and also tried to kill your familiar Arf for disobeying her, correct?”

“Yes, she did.” A tight feeling constricted inside Fate’s stomach, and she felt her legs tremble. Please, Hayate, don’t go there…

“Enforcer Harlaown, if you disobeyed your mother, would she have punished you?”

“I never disobeyed her. I…I disappointed her, when I failed to obtain her objectives.”

“The question was a hypothetical question, but please answer it.” Hayate laid a hand on the rail in front of Fate, looking straight at her with her intense blue eyes. Mercilessly, knowingly, Hayate pressed, “Do you believe, judging from her mental state and her past behaviour towards you, towards Linith and towards Arf, that your mother would have killed you if you had disobeyed her?”

Fate stared at Hayate, feeling her heart bleeding out from the pain of the past that she thought she had hidden deep enough away. If she said she didn’t know, she wouldn’t be lying. But she knew what she believed, and Hayate knew it too.

Fate had once told her so.

“…Yes.”

She barely heard the rest of Hayate’s argument, painting her past as someone forced into criminal activity due to fear and naïveté…that Raven Gallant didn’t have the same kind of circumstances that Fate had…Fate heard all this through a numb, throbbing haze.

It wasn’t the memories, but the emotions that the confession had unearthed.

Fate didn’t cry. But inside her heart, that lost and wounded nine-year old girl did.

**O**

Nanoha barely waited for the prosecutors and defence council to finish their ending statements for the day, perched on the edge of her seat and aching to rush up to the front and throw her arms around Fate. The moment Judge Grangaitz pounded his gavel down to end the court day Nanoha shot from her seat, practically flying down the steps towards her wife. She didn’t care that the judge had barely left the room before she had started moving; all Nanoha cared about was getting down to the front, where Fate was still sitting with her shoulders hunched and her head down.

“Fate-chan?” Nanoha gently lifted Fate’s chin, kissing her on the forehead and rubbing Fate’s back, wishing more than anything that she could kiss away the deep pain that Fate was rapidly trying to hide.

“It’s nothing, Nanoha,” Fate murmured, averting her gaze. Her soft voice barely audible over the noise of everyone exiting, and Nanoha only caught her last sentence because their heads were so close together. “Can we just go home now please?”

“Of course,” promised Nanoha. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Auris clap Hayate on the shoulder, looking pleased before the NSIS director left, leaving Hayate to gather up her documents into her briefcase non-chalantly as if she hadn’t just stabbed a friend in the heart—

Nanoha crossed the floor and caught onto Hayate’s forearm tightly, forcing Hayate to stop in her attempt to slip out quickly. As much as Nanoha needed to lay into her friend, doing it in front of witnesses wasn’t a good idea—Nanoha wouldn’t do that to Hayate—so Nanoha delivered her rant telepathically.

Hayate-chan! How could you do that to Fate-chan, when you know how she feels about Precia! How could you?

Hayate kept her head down and tried to pull away, but Nanoha wouldn’t let go. She knew that this was really a bad time to do this, but after seeing that lonely, sad look take over Fate’s vulnerable eyes again after Hayate’s cruel questioning made Nanoha see red.

What kind of things are you letting Auris Gaiz talk you into? The Hayate-chan I know, the kind mistress of your Knights—she would never have joined in this cruel act! Nanoha blinked back angry tears of her own, hurting for Fate. She was equally confused and hurt herself, and that made Nanoha continue on and demand, Didn’t you once fight to give people second chances, Hayate?!

Something snapped in Hayate’s eyes, and her friend shoved Nanoha back, her free hand clamped around Nanoha’s wrist just as tightly as Nanoha’s own grip on Hayate. Hayate’s mental voice came low and hissing, making Nanoha recoil, the words almost black in Nanoha’s mind.

How sympathetic would you be, if Fate had been the undercover agent? What if it had been Fate, and that her death had absolutely no meaning but collateral damage? Would you still be so forgiving of a little girl’s “grief-ridden rampage” then, Nanoha?

Loathing.

A jagged loathing cut its way up Nanoha’s throat, stealing any voice she had to respond. Nanoha couldn’t believe that she could ever feel that way towards a friend—but a hot hurt and a chilled fury carved into Nanoha’s chest as she glared tearfully at the person who had just struck Nanoha in her weakest spot, just like what she had done to Fate minutes before.

Hayate jerked free and hurried off, Rein zipping after her mistress urgently without glancing back at Nanoha.

Despite her blinding rage, Nanoha knew that not all of her anger was fair…because even if Hayate had expected her to answer that question, Nanoha didn’t know what her answer would have been.

There was always a second chance, there was always a way to win while holding tight to her morals…

But if it had been Fate-chan…

Nanoha walked back to her wife and wrapped her arms tightly around Fate, holding her love close—and she felt her heart sink in self-recriminating shame.

**O**

Rein hovered by the bathroom door, keeping a look-out for anyone who might enter and catch her mistress off-guard. “Hayate, are you okay?” She glanced behind herself in concern. The moment they had left the courtroom Hayate had stumbled into the nearest bathroom and proceeded to collapse over the sink, vomiting and trembling so badly she was in danger of falling.

“Hayate?!”

Gasping, Hayate’s response was to cough and throw up again, nearly causing Rein to send a medical alert to Shamal immediately before Hayate managed to push herself up. “Yes,” she panted, rinsing her mouth out and giving Rein an utterly unconvincing smile. “I’m just a little…under the weather.”

“You’re overstressed,” Rein said firmly. “Running the city defences, overseeing the NSIS, handling all the parts of the Gallant case…” And hurting her friends so terribly, and being hurt by them in return, Rein didn’t add. “I think you should tell Shamal—”

Hayate interrupted her by shaking her head, a weak smile on her lips. She didn’t have to explain, Rein knew why. Sometimes it sucked being Hayate’s aide, since the other Wolkenritter would grill Rein for details about their mistress but sometimes Rein had swore to Hayate not to tell them things. It was scary to stand up to Signum or Vita when they were angrily worried…Gnashing her teeth together to keep from retorting, Rein watched Hayate scrub her face with cold water, still worried. “Cancel your meeting with Director Gaiz tonight and go home early.”

“I can’t, we need to go over our counter-arguments—”

Rein steeled herself and interrupted her mistress, channelling Agito’s tone as she said belligerently, “If you don’t, I’ll tell Signum and Shamal and Vita and Zafira that you’re making yourself sick over this case, and then Shamal will write you a medical order that will make you rest!”

Hayate blinked, stared at her, then laughed, a real smile appearing on her tired face. “Rein, are you blackmailing me?”

Flushing red, Rein wanted to cry, but she defended herself tearfully, “Yes, if it’ll make you rest…” She sniffed, wiping her eyes and looking down in shame. “I’m sorry Mistress, but…”

A warm hand pulled her close into a gentle hug, and Rein cried against Hayate’s collar as the brunette gently stroked her partner’s back with a finger. “Don’t call me that, Rein…I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry for upsetting you so much.” Sighing, Hayate rubbed her eyes wearily. “I know you’re just trying to look out for me.” After a pause, Hayate lifted Rein up to eye level and smiled wanly at her. “Rein, can you send a message to Director Auris asking her to reschedule our meeting for tomorrow night?”

Stunned, Rein dried her tears then beamed. “Yes, Hayate!” Quickly, she did just that, then zoomed in a happy circle before coming back down to sit on Hayate’s shoulder. “Let’s go home, and let Signum and Vita give you hugs, and Shamal to make you dinner and Zafira come over for you to hug and make everything better!”

“Alright!” Hayate laughed, and let Rein lead the way out to the parking lot. Flying ahead of her mistress, Rein didn’t see the weary flicker of sad resignation come across Hayate’s face when she looked down at the Gallant file in her hands.

Spoiler for Author's Note:

I'm not as happy with the subtle distinction between the defence and prosecution's arguments during Fate's testimony , since I didn't want to go over already treaded ground and I had to really struggle through it. Don't be afraid to let me know if it sucks and what I could possibly do to fix it!

The focus will drift back to the Shadows from here on, as more and more things slowly get revealed!

New Part 1-4A
New Part 4B
New Part 5: Trial Day 1A
New Part 5: Trial Day 1B
New Part 5: Trial Day 1C and New Part 6
New Part 7
Part 8 and Part 9: Trial Day 2
Part 10: Trial Day 2

Sadly, this will likely be my last update before NaNo swallows me alive!

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by deathcurse

@Diamonds Dream: If it wasn't for the title, I would have thought that Fate was dying bloodily or something! The tone leading up to that last sentence really gave off this ominous air .

A rough update...Fate's testimony and the end of Trial Day 2. Looks like things aren't going so well between the three Aces...

Crime Never Sleeps
Part 11: Trial Day 2 end

“The worst things we do are always by our own choice.”

Spoiler for Crime Never Sleeps, part 11: Trial Day 2 end:

Trial Day 2 – Expert Witness Testimony #4

Fate swallowed—it wasn’t the first time she had testified in a courtroom, but the circumstances were different this time. She gave herself the luxury of glancing through the stands to make eye contact with her wife, letting Nanoha’s warm and encouraging smile boost her spirits again.

Normally, she testified to put criminals away. But this time, Fate kind of wished for a new experience.

She knew that it wasn’t fair of her to sympathize with Raven just because Raven was a young child. But Fate had children; she rescued children. Fate had lost parents; she had comforted orphans of violence.

Fate had gotten a second chance.

Wasn’t it only fair that she wanted to give another lost child that same chance?

Officer Jettal cleared his throat, getting Fate’s attention again. “Enforcer Harlaown, can you please describe the sentence you received from the TSAB after the Jewel Seed crisis?”

“I joined the TSAB as a temporary mage after I was acquitted for the charges I committed under my mother, Precia Testarossa’s, command,” Fate said carefully.

“Why were you acquitted for your charges?”

“I was just a minor at the time, and…” Fate took a breath, letting the calm settle in her stomach before continuing. “And I had wanted to be loyal to my mother.”

“In your opinion, are all children so inclined to please their parents?”

“Oh, yes.”

“Enforcer Harlaown, would you consider Raven to have been affected by the same desire to please her murdered parents, by bringing their murderers to justice?”

“Objection!” Auris cried out. “There is no proof that all of the defendant’s victims were involved in the Gallants’ murder.”

“Sustained,” Grangaitz said, his deep voice starting to sound weary.

Jettal gave a stiff jerk of his head and asked again, “Enforcer Harlaown, would you consider Raven to have been affected by the same desire to please her murdered parents, by bringing their perceived murderers to justice?”

“Yes.”

“From the previous day’s testimony, we know that child offenders are often unaware of the consequences of their actions. Add to this a desire to please or make up to her parents, it shows that Raven was influenced by mitigating factors when she killed the Hellhound gang members.” Fate could see Auris considering an objection to that last statement but held back, her eyes flicking over at Hayate and looking pleased at what she had seen there.

Thomas Jettal finished, “Historically, the TSAB has been lenient on misguided child offenders, choosing to rehabilitate them to give these youth a second chance to repent for their crimes and to become valuable members of society—such as the chance Ace Enforcer Fate Harlaown had once received from this court.”

Now Hayate stood for her cross-examination, and Fate swallowed, feeling her muscles tense. She felt Bardiche pulse inside her pocket as her partner reacted to her tension, although thankfully he didn’t set-up. Fate didn’t think that there was any counter-argument Hayate could make that wouldn’t sound hypocritical to the audience and jury, since although the Book of Darkness case hadn’t been brought forward as a direct example, everyone knew of it—and with that history, Hayate couldn’t openly strike down Jettal’s argument.

But in a way, that made it worse—since Fate knew that Hayate must have some plan of her own.

She would have preferred Auris Gaiz; since at least then, Fate didn’t have to take the questioning personally. With Hayate, even though Fate knew that she shouldn’t, she really couldn’t help it…and neither would Nanoha. Things were tough enough between the three of them already…

“Not all child offender cases are the same,” Hayate said to the room, and from the self-deprecating smile on her face she showed that she was very aware of the elephant in the room. “In previous cases, the charges revolved around property damage, possession of Lost Logia and resisting TSAB officials—not multiple counts of murder.

“Not only that, but the base motivation in the case of the juvenile offender Fate Testarossa differs from the case of juvenile murderer Raven Gallant. The defendant had already testified that she and her parents had a close, loving relationship.” She turned to Fate. “Enforcer Harlaown, was your mother, Precia Testarossa, physically abusive towards you?”

Fate barely kept herself from flinching, but she managed it. “Yes.”

“Was she physically or magically capable of killing you?”

“…Yes.”

“Precia Testarossa had killed her familiar Linith, and also tried to kill your familiar Arf for disobeying her, correct?”

“Yes, she did.” A tight feeling constricted inside Fate’s stomach, and she felt her legs tremble. Please, Hayate, don’t go there…

“Enforcer Harlaown, if you disobeyed your mother, would she have punished you?”

“I never disobeyed her. I…I disappointed her, when I failed to obtain her objectives.”

“The question was a hypothetical question, but please answer it.” Hayate laid a hand on the rail in front of Fate, looking straight at her with her intense blue eyes. Mercilessly, knowingly, Hayate pressed, “Do you believe, judging from her mental state and her past behaviour towards you, towards Linith and towards Arf, that your mother would have killed you if you had disobeyed her?”

Fate stared at Hayate, feeling her heart bleeding out from the pain of the past that she thought she had hidden deep enough away. If she said she didn’t know, she wouldn’t be lying. But she knew what she believed, and Hayate knew it too.

Fate had once told her so.

“…Yes.”

She barely heard the rest of Hayate’s persuasive argument, painting her past as someone forced into criminal activity due to fear and naïveté…that Raven Gallant didn’t have the same kind of circumstances that Fate had…Fate heard all this through a numb, throbbing haze.

It wasn’t the memories, but the emotions that the confession had unearthed.

Fate didn’t cry. But inside her heart, that lost and wounded nine-year old girl did.

**O**

Nanoha barely waited for the prosecutors and defence council to finish their ending statements for the day, perched on the edge of her seat and aching to rush up to the front and throw her arms around Fate. The moment Judge Grangaitz pounded his gavel down to end the court day Nanoha shot from her seat, practically flying down the steps towards her wife. She didn’t care that the judge had barely left the room before she had started moving; all Nanoha cared about was getting down to the front, where Fate was still sitting with her shoulders hunched and her head down.

“Fate-chan?” Nanoha gently lifted Fate’s chin, kissing her on the forehead and rubbing Fate’s back, wishing more than anything that she could kiss away the deep pain that Fate was rapidly trying to hide.

“It’s nothing, Nanoha,” Fate murmured, averting her gaze. Her soft voice barely audible over the noise of everyone exiting, and Nanoha only caught her last sentence because their heads were so close together. “Can we just go home now please?”

“Of course,” promised Nanoha. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Auris clap Hayate on the shoulder, looking pleased before the NSIS director left, leaving Hayate to gather up her documents into her briefcase non-chalantly as if she hadn’t just stabbed a friend in the heart—

Nanoha crossed the floor and caught onto Hayate’s forearm tightly, forcing Hayate to stop in her attempt to slip out quickly. As much as Nanoha needed to lay into her friend, doing it in front of witnesses wasn’t a good idea—Nanoha wouldn’t do that to Hayate—so Nanoha delivered her rant telepathically.

Hayate-chan! How could you do that to Fate-chan, when you know how she feels about Precia! How could you?

Hayate kept her head down and tried to pull away, but Nanoha wouldn’t let go. She knew that this was really a bad time to do this, but after seeing that lonely, sad look take over Fate’s vulnerable eyes again after Hayate’s cruel questioning made Nanoha see red.

What kind of things are you letting Auris Gaiz talk you into? The Hayate-chan I know, the kind mistress of your Knights—she would never have joined in this cruel act! Nanoha blinked back angry tears of her own, hurting for Fate. She was equally confused and hurt herself, and that made Nanoha continue on and demand, Didn’t you once fight to give people second chances, Hayate?!

Something snapped in Hayate’s eyes, and her friend shoved Nanoha back, her free hand clamped around Nanoha’s wrist just as tightly as Nanoha’s own grip on Hayate. Hayate’s mental voice came low and hissing, making Nanoha recoil, the words almost black in Nanoha’s mind.

How sympathetic would you be, if Fate had been the undercover agent? What if it had been Fate, and that her death had absolutely no meaning but collateral damage? Would you still be so forgiving of a little girl’s “grief-ridden rampage” then, Nanoha?

Loathing.

A jagged loathing cut its way up Nanoha’s throat, stealing any voice she had to respond. Nanoha couldn’t believe that she could ever feel that way towards a friend—but a hot hurt and a chilled fury carved into Nanoha’s chest as she glared tearfully at the person who had just struck Nanoha in her weakest spot, just like what she had done to Fate minutes before.

Hayate jerked free and hurried off, Rein zipping after her mistress urgently without glancing back at Nanoha.

Despite her blinding rage, Nanoha knew that not all of her anger was fair…because even if Hayate had expected her to answer that question, Nanoha didn’t know what her answer would have been.

There was always a second chance, there was always a way to win while holding tight to her morals…

But if it had been Fate-chan…

Nanoha walked back to her wife and wrapped her arms tightly around Fate, holding her love close—and she felt her heart sink in self-recriminating shame.

**O**

Rein hovered by the bathroom door, keeping a look-out for anyone who might enter and catch her mistress off-guard. “Hayate, are you okay?” She glanced behind herself in concern. The moment they had left the courtroom Hayate had stumbled into the nearest bathroom and proceeded to collapse over the sink, vomiting and trembling so badly she was in danger of falling.

“Hayate?!”

Gasping, Hayate’s response was to cough and throw up again, nearly causing Rein to send a medical alert to Shamal immediately before Hayate managed to push herself up. “Yes,” she panted, rinsing her mouth out and giving Rein an utterly unconvincing smile. “I’m just a little…under the weather.”

“You’re overstressed,” Rein said firmly. “Running the city defences, overseeing the NSIS, handling all the parts of the Gallant case…” And hurting her friends so terribly, and being hurt by them in return, Rein didn’t add. “I think you should tell Shamal—”

Hayate interrupted her by shaking her head, a weak smile on her lips. She didn’t have to explain, Rein knew why. Sometimes it sucked being Hayate’s aide, since the other Wolkenritter would grill Rein for details about their mistress but sometimes Rein had swore to Hayate not to tell them things. It was scary to stand up to Signum or Vita when they were angrily worried…Gnashing her teeth together to keep from retorting, Rein watched Hayate scrub her face with cold water, still worried. “Cancel your meeting with Director Gaiz tonight and go home early.”

“I can’t, we need to go over our counter-arguments—”

Rein steeled herself and interrupted her mistress, channelling Agito’s tone as she said belligerently, “If you don’t, I’ll tell Signum and Shamal and Vita and Zafira that you’re making yourself sick over this case, and then Shamal will write you a medical order that will make you rest!”

Hayate blinked, stared at her, then laughed, a real smile appearing on her tired face. “Rein, are you blackmailing me?”

Flushing red, Rein wanted to cry, but she defended herself tearfully, “Yes, if it’ll make you rest…” She sniffed, wiping her eyes and looking down in shame. “I’m sorry Mistress, but…”

A warm hand pulled her close into a gentle hug, and Rein cried against Hayate’s collar as the brunette gently stroked her partner’s back with a finger. “Don’t call me that, Rein…I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry for upsetting you so much.” Sighing, Hayate rubbed her eyes wearily. “I know you’re just trying to look out for me.” After a pause, Hayate lifted Rein up to eye level and smiled wanly at her. “Rein, can you send a message to Director Auris asking her to reschedule our meeting for tomorrow night?”

Stunned, Rein dried her tears then beamed. “Yes, Hayate!” Quickly, she did just that, then zoomed in a happy circle before coming back down to sit on Hayate’s shoulder. “Let’s go home, and let Signum and Vita give you hugs, and Shamal to make you dinner and Zafira come over for you to hug and make everything better!”

“Alright!” Hayate laughed, and let Rein lead the way out to the parking lot. Flying ahead of her mistress, Rein didn’t see the weary flicker of sad resignation come across Hayate’s face when she looked down at the Gallant file in her hands.

Spoiler for Author's Note:

I'm not as happy with the subtle distinction between the defence and prosecution's arguments during Fate's testimony , since I didn't want to go over already treaded ground and I had to really struggle through it. Don't be afraid to let me know if it sucks and what I could possibly do to fix it!

The focus will drift back to the Shadows from here on, as more and more things slowly get revealed!

New Part 1-4A
New Part 4B
New Part 5: Trial Day 1A
New Part 5: Trial Day 1B
New Part 5: Trial Day 1C and New Part 6
New Part 7
Part 8 and Part 9: Trial Day 2
Part 10: Trial Day 2

Sadly, this will likely be my last update before NaNo swallows me alive!

...

Major ouchies all around here, on? I mean... ouch. I admit to having been a little disenchanted with NanoFate recently, but damn if Hayate doesn't know how to hit where it hurts.

... Also, I think it says something when my imagination takes the Hayate/Nanoha confrontation and somehow turns it into a Vivio/Nanoha confrontation in the main Shadow storyline. Oi.

[deathcurse]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

...

Major ouchies all around here, on? I mean... ouch. I admit to having been a little disenchanted with NanoFate recently, but damn if Hayate doesn't know how to hit where it hurts.

... Also, I think it says something when my imagination takes the Hayate/Nanoha confrontation and somehow turns it into a Vivio/Nanoha confrontation in the main Shadow storyline. Oi.

Yeah, Dezo slipped the idea into my head about how Nanoha may see things differently if Fate had been the murdered undercover officer, and I just had to put that in somewhere . And I couldn't resist having Hayate deliver that jab also .....is that cruel of me?

Disenchanted with NanoFate recently? =O Do you mean in Crime Never Sleeps, or in the general fandom?

*Already feeling pity for Nanoha in the main Shadow storyline....*

[00-Raiser]

Not following your fic, deathcurse, but RB's comments made me curious and I took a quick look. One line jumped out of me:

She barely heard the rest of Hayate’s persuasive argument,

This is a text book case of telling rather than showing. You shouldn't just say that Hayate's argument was persuasive, you have to back it up. I suggest describing how "the jurors hung onto her every word" or how "the defense wiped the sweat from his brow."

[deathcurse]

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

Not following your fic, deathcurse, but RB's comments made me curious and I took a quick look. One line jumped out of me:

This is a text book case of telling rather than showing. You shouldn't just say that Hayate's argument was persuasive, you have to back it up. I suggest describing how "the jurors hung onto her every word" or how "the defense wiped the sweat from his brow."

Thanks for pointing that out, but I did have a reason for telling there instead of showing; the entirety of the Trial Days are all about showing Hayate's persuasive arguments, and that specific section there was less about Hayate's powers of persuasive argument, but about how she absolutely stuck a knife in Fate's weak spot--and twisted . The section there is about Fate's reaction to Hayate's comment, not about Hayate's argument itself. Hopefully after all the previous cross-examinations, the readers would already be shown/convinced about Hayate's skills. I was trying to change tacks there and show that not only is Hayate seeming to compromise her morals in the story, but that she's also willing to be ruthless towards her friends to get her point across .

I may take out the word "persuasive" in the final version, to maybe take attention away from the fact that Hayate is making an argument there, so that readers will see that it's more about Fate's reaction to Hayate's backstabbing? I'll think about it, thanks ^^.

[DezoPenguin]

Originally Posted by yuiseppe

*looks at horrible track of updates*

Indeed!

Obviously I myself got around to a fair bit of procrastination, but this was inspired by you:

Spoiler for A half windsor:

Not too happy with Lulu's expression - too wooden. The smoldering effect kind of fizzled on me. And it's 4am.

I would like to note that, regardless of one's opinion of Lulu's expression...Vivio's expression is made of "rrrowr!"

Originally Posted by deathcurse

Crime Never Sleeps
Part 11: Trial Day 2 end

“The worst things we do are always by our own choice.”

Sadly, this will likely be my last update before NaNo swallows me alive!

Argh! I haven't even reviewed Part 10 yet! *headdesk* (Read eagerly yes, reviewed no) Thank heavens for NaNoWriMo...which gives me the chance to catch up on my reviews for the fics written by all you people who are doing it!

[Diamonds Dream]

N/A Not available.

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by deathcurse

I may take out the word "persuasive" in the final version

Yeah, I'd do that because...

Originally Posted by deathcurse

Hopefully after all the previous cross-examinations, the readers would already be shown/convinced about Hayate's skills.

If you've already established that her arguments are persuasive, then your readers already know this and you don't need to remind them.

[deathcurse]

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

Argh! I haven't even reviewed Part 10 yet! *headdesk* (Read eagerly yes, reviewed no) Thank heavens for NaNoWriMo...which gives me the chance to catch up on my reviews for the fics written by all you people who are doing it!

Hahaha, well, then you get to review the full Trial Day 2 all at once, rather than in bits and pieces! LOL, are you sure? Sure we can't tempt you into joining us for NaNoWriMo?

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

Yeah, I'd do that because...

If you've already established that her arguments are persuasive, then your readers already know this and you don't need to remind them.

Good point--edited!

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

I]Vivio's[/I] expression is made of "rrrowr!"

...

That line just gave me so many ideas about the potential build-up I could use for when Vivio finally turns eighteen.

[Diamonds Dream]

Was surfing around when I found this:
http://forums.animesuki.com/showthre...133#post708133
Anyone up for some Fate X Arf?

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by Diamonds Dream

So here it is, an open challenge (or two) that I am putting here because I will probably never get to Writing the ideas.

Spoiler for I can't think of what to call this challenge:

The SG-1 are returning from an expedition when all of a sudden someone is thrown through the stargate, unconscious.
Some ideas for who it could be:
Nanoha
Fate
Hayate
Shamal
Vivio
Einhart
Yuuno
Precia and Alicia (Do them! Do them! Do them!)
Time Line:
After the end of A's, up to the end of ViVid for Nanoha.
Anytime for stargate.

There are two ways you could do this:
1:Write both.
2:Write one.
Or you could take a third option and combine them into one fic. Yeah, that's it.
The rules are pretty simple, just credit me and follow the timelines given in the above challenges, you'll be fine. Also, no character bashing.
Oh yeah, I prefer NanoFate or YuuNanoFate (my OT3) when it comes to shipping the titular character. Please and thank you!

Well, you win points from me for Stargate references, heh (I tend to include them in fics I write). But I've pretty much got my hands full with the stuff I'm writing at the moment (I have 2-3 fics on hold, as well as a scattering of half-finished crack fics).

In general, most of the writers here are people are like that, so it's not likely that challenges get answered, although it does happen. Your better bet is to focus on writing something, as the more information you give, the more likely someone is to take you up on it. The shorter the fic, the more likely someone will write something.

Good luck.^^