Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by Satashi

On that note, may I ask what everyone thinks about my Vampire!Fate and Sick_girl!Nanoha first person POVs? Taking into consideration their AU personalities, of course.

In the context of the story, I like it :3

In terms of in relation to their pre-established personalities in the series, I think they are not even in-character. Fate wouldn't be that outgoing, although she does have a series side as we've seen in StrikerS, which you have down fine. But she's most definitely not out going.

As for Nanoha, I have to rewatch the series to really make a comment on her XD

[Tk3997]

Originally Posted by Ryand-Smith

Stop putting SG-1 and Nanoverse together, it works too well. Nice little shorts, but the timing is odd, but I like it. You have got to get the plot moving, it is getting a bit too much explanation heavy for my tastes.

Well at the point in Stargate when they introduced an earth space cruiser with an Alternate Reality Drive I just gave up and decided they WANT people to write crossovers about Stargate.

[NorthernFallout]

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Yep. Another double post.

Spoiler for Act 4:

--

Voting for The Machinator, on my part.
If there was something that caught my mind, it was the use of storytelling. It was more like the voice telling the events was there, involving himself in the events. Either I got confused on some parts or it was that good blended in.

For other aspects, a good source to gather more gore inspiration from. I'm still struggling with vocabulary and I saw a few words I can bend that I didn't know about, to evolve a bit.
Love the fight scenes, filled with power. I'm beginning to see the talk about Noland being thrown around here

Some points did confuse me though, things I have learned never to do myself, as for example including screaming or the like as dialogue. As you've certainly seen from IRC, I do not hold hard on grammar rules and want more freedom myself plus I tend to be flexible.
For my part, the use of grammar and words were no problem at all and just added to the events and feeling.

Also glad to see Chrono and Yuuno being awesome :3

Feel like I have something more to say, but can't think of anything more right now than: Want more delicious gore stories.

[Evangelion Xgouki]

Originally Posted by TheShinySword

Here's a play by play of my reactions.

Spoiler for the reaction:

DON'T TOUCH IT! Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-Oh shi-ow ow ow ZAFFY TT_TT ow gore gore gore *runs off to throw up* Chrono get it together and go do something. Poor Yuuno ow ow ow ow ewwwww gore gore gore morbid *More barfing* Oh it was all in their heads that's cool His name is Noland he was a show gir-Bad crack bad Oh shi- blah blah Chrono blah- oh shi-! Gambit!yuuno! noooooooo yuuno! Erio Stabu! Erio get crushued. Chrono and Rein COMBINE. Chrono and Rein fail. Wait dead amy? I mean I'd figured it out but Chrono's twins: Daddy doesn't love us D:
....
...
..
.
wtf Awwww Zaffy

Spoiler for confusion:

The ending made me go :t witch: I'm not sure if it's supposed to be clear to us whether the evens of the last 4 parts were indeed real or just a story Vivio was reading.
And Zafira shouldn't let children read such violent things

Heh, you should have been there when we were discussing these parts at Otakon. Oh the vivid imagery and talks of how to make it even more brutal

Originally Posted by Tk3997

Eva you bastard! You went and started writing a SG/Nanoha cross and didn't tell me?! I Have half a mind to kill you where you stand! But since it's acutally good and doing so would mean I wouldn't get more you'll be allowed to live, for now!

So I guess this means I shouldn't end this anytime soon, huh?

Originally Posted by Ryand-Smith

Stop putting SG-1 and Nanoverse together, it works too well. Nice little shorts, but the timing is odd, but I like it. You have got to get the plot moving, it is getting a bit too much explanation heavy for my tastes.

It's not my fault Jack gets himself into these strange situations .

And don't go blaming the Stargate, either. It can't argue back

[Satashi]

Spoiler for Vampire Fate pt. 1:

The dust on the roof of the building I landed on after my three story jump spun away from the impact area. Before it had a chance to settle once more I was already across the site, leaping to a building that was two stories taller. I cleared the jump cleanly and saw Tia grip the side of the fenced off area before kicking up off of it to flip herself up the rest of the way. The girl was good for being so young, and I felt a little bit thankful that she was working along with me at the current moment.

I knew Nanoha was in danger, and from Tia's reaction, so was Subaru. we both ran together and leapt again, falling a good ways before landing and then jumping the rest of the way to the ground. I landed and Tia rolled, springing ahead of me for a moment before we both stopped and stared at an note nailed into a wall of the allyway with a cross.

The paper was void of words, instead it only had two red smears on it. One I could recognize as Nanoha's instantly from the unsettling sickness in my stomach, and the other I had associated with Subaru because it smelt faintly of the girl next to me.

"Bitch!" Tia's swear was loud, ringing out as she ripped the note from the wall. I had only a moment to act, tackling the stupid child to the side as a bright explosion tore the wall apart. Several pellets of metal embedded in the stone behind us and the concrete beneath our bodies.

As I stood up, I glared at Tia and spoke with a small snarl in my voice. "And you called me stupid the first time we met?"

"Stow it, I wanted to get their scent so I could sniff them out."

I rolled my eyes. "Please, if it were that easy I would have never had to make connections to get information." I began to speed walk out of the alley before any police came to investigate the sudden explosion that had caused so much chaos around us.

"Where are you going!?" Tia ran after me. "Do you have any clues? so help me if you hold out-"

I shook my head at her. "First you need to calm down, you won't get anywhere being rash."

"So where?"

"To a night club. I have a feeling someone is waiting for me there."

Spoiler for Vampire!Fate pt.2 (Fate):

It was still early in the day by the time we arrived at the Roxburry. The bouncer at the door let me in after seeing who I was and I looked around the almost empty floor to spot my prey. Yuuno was where I thought he would be, sitting at the bar while sipping a girly looking drink. I made my way to him but Tia passed me along the way.

The girl grabbed Yuuno's shoulders and spun him around, holstering him into the air. "Where are they!?" She demanded furiously.

Yuuno looked down at the girl holding him and smirked before looking over at me with a questionive glance. "She your new partner?"

I shook my head and moved to break up the small fight but Tia had other ideas. Moving to bring Yuuno close to her face, she snarled at him. "What makes you think I won't kill you right now?

"Tia," I stated firmly, only half expecting her to listen to me. "Let him go, if violence worked again yuuno I would have done so long ago."

"Listen to her," Yuuno advised while bringing up one hand to place on the wrist holding him.

The gunslinger snarled once more. "Answers!"

Yuuno tightened his grip and glared at Tia for a few moments before he was released to drop the few inches to the floor. Tia stood in the same position, eyes wide in shock. "Relax," the male told her while straighteneing his suit top. "The paralasis is only temperary." I looked at Tia and then back to Yuuno, raising an eyebrow. "I pricked her arm while she was holding me and injected something into her blood. She'll be able to move again shortly."

Just as he said, I noticed Tia's fingertips starting to twitch again. "Anway," I began calmly. "Nanoha. She was kidnapped."

"I know." Yuuno sat on his barseat again and I sat next to him. "Subaru and Nanoha were both aprehended a few hours ago."

"I need to know where they are. Preferably quickly."

Yuuno took a folder from his briefcase and handed it to me. "Everything you need to know is in there. What I can't do for you, however, is open the security doors. I'm not getting involved that deep."

I nodded and glanced at the contents quickly. "I think I know someone who will." Closing the folder, I looked at the man once more. "Not going to charge me?"

"Let's just say that at the current moment, our interest are the same."

Not wanting to waste more time, I filed that little bit of information in my mind to be investigated on at a later date. Right now I wanted Nanoha back, and I'll be damned if I waste any time going about it. "Tia, let's go."

The girl was moving sluggishly but still followed me out while rubbing her wrist. "How can you be so calm?" She asked after a few moments of silence.

"Rash actions will only make your life harder. I want to get Nanoha out quickly without causing any harm to her. If we go in full force then they might even hurt them to get to us." She stayed quiet a few moments more, probably thinking over what I had just said.

"Who do you know that may help us?"

I turned a corner and looked at a familiar hot dog stand, seeing a short brittish girl enjoying a meal. "Her." I walked forward despite tia's protest and leaned over the girl's shoulder. "Hayate."

Hayate looked over at me, a soft blush on her cheeks. "Yes, Fate?"

"I need your help. Please, Nanoha is in danger." My words made her blink but she stood up anyway, scarfing the last of her meal before nodding at me. "Come to my house." I took her wrist and dragged her along with me, meeting up with Tia who apparently knew the girl already by the skeptical look.

A.)Nanoha
B.)Fate

[al103]

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

So I guess this means I shouldn't end this anytime soon, huh?

Eeeeeeeh??? (C) Nanoha
Grrrrrr (C) jewelseeded dog from MGLN.

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by Satashi

*snip*
A.)Nanoha
B.)Fate

Hmm....I say.... B again

[Tk3997]

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

Heh, you should have been there when we were discussing these parts at Otakon. Oh the vivid imagery and talks of how to make it even more brutal

I kind of found it a tad... worrying myself since the guy discussing it knew where I was sleeping and had a knife suitable for a psycho killer with him in his room.

So I guess this means I shouldn't end this anytime soon, huh?

That depends entirely on how long you want to live.

It's not my fault Jack gets himself into these strange situations .

And don't go blaming the Stargate, either. It can't argue back

It's not Jack it's anyone remotely associated with the SGC that entire organization is a gigantic weirdness magnet.

O’Neil: I knew it was magnet behind it all along!

Shut up.

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by mercurianangel

Spoiler for Lyrical Days cover:

And reference if you didn't get it XD

Anybody remember this? D:

Whatever happened to this anyways? Did it get lost in the shuffle or something?

[Tempy]

It died. Just like everything else worthwhile.[/troll]

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

It died. Just like everything else worthwhile.[/troll]

Isn't that such as the nature of this channel -.-

*whacks the troll out of Tempest*

Out, OUT I SAY!!

[Evangelion Xgouki]

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

It died. Just like everything else worthwhile.[/troll]

Hmm...well sometimes the dead don't stay dead . Just find the Necronomicon and you can bring it back.

Just...be sure to get the words right...

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

Hmm...well sometimes the dead don't stay dead . Just find the Necronomicon and you can bring it back.

Just...be sure to get the words right...

Am I missing something?

[Tempy]

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

Am I missing something?

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

[BPHaru]

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

Hmm...well sometimes the dead don't stay dead . Just find the Necronomicon and you can bring it back.

You can't revive the dead. Just ask Ed and Al's mother =O

Originally Posted by Satashi

Spoiler for Vampire!Fate pt.2 (Fate):

It was still early in the day by the time we arrived at the Roxburry. The bouncer at the door let me in after seeing who I was and I looked around the almost empty floor to spot my prey. Yuuno was where I thought he would be, sitting at the bar while sipping a girly looking drink. I made my way to him but Tia passed me along the way.

The girl grabbed Yuuno's shoulders and spun him around, holstering him into the air. "Where are they!?" She demanded furiously.

Yuuno looked down at the girl holding him and smirked before looking over at me with a questionive glance. "She your new partner?"

I shook my head and moved to break up the small fight but Tia had other ideas. Moving to bring Yuuno close to her face, she snarled at him. "What makes you think I won't kill you right now?

"Tia," I stated firmly, only half expecting her to listen to me. "Let him go, if violence worked again yuuno I would have done so long ago."

"Listen to her," Yuuno advised while bringing up one hand to place on the wrist holding him.

The gunslinger snarled once more. "Answers!"

Yuuno tightened his grip and glared at Tia for a few moments before he was released to drop the few inches to the floor. Tia stood in the same position, eyes wide in shock. "Relax," the male told her while straighteneing his suit top. "The paralasis is only temperary." I looked at Tia and then back to Yuuno, raising an eyebrow. "I pricked her arm while she was holding me and injected something into her blood. She'll be able to move again shortly."

Just as he said, I noticed Tia's fingertips starting to twitch again. "Anway," I began calmly. "Nanoha. She was kidnapped."

"I know." Yuuno sat on his barseat again and I sat next to him. "Subaru and Nanoha were both aprehended a few hours ago."

"I need to know where they are. Preferably quickly."

Yuuno took a folder from his briefcase and handed it to me. "Everything you need to know is in there. What I can't do for you, however, is open the security doors. I'm not getting involved that deep."

I nodded and glanced at the contents quickly. "I think I know someone who will." Closing the folder, I looked at the man once more. "Not going to charge me?"

"Let's just say that at the current moment, our interest are the same."

Not wanting to waste more time, I filed that little bit of information in my mind to be investigated on at a later date. Right now I wanted Nanoha back, and I'll be damned if I waste any time going about it. "Tia, let's go."

The girl was moving sluggishly but still followed me out while rubbing her wrist. "How can you be so calm?" She asked after a few moments of silence.

"Rash actions will only make your life harder. I want to get Nanoha out quickly without causing any harm to her. If we go in full force then they might even hurt them to get to us." She stayed quiet a few moments more, probably thinking over what I had just said.

"Who do you know that may help us?"

I turned a corner and looked at a familiar hot dog stand, seeing a short brittish girl enjoying a meal. "Her." I walked forward despite tia's protest and leaned over the girl's shoulder. "Hayate."

Hayate looked over at me, a soft blush on her cheeks. "Yes, Fate?"

"I need your help. Please, Nanoha is in danger." My words made her blink but she stood up anyway, scarfing the last of her meal before nodding at me. "Come to my house." I took her wrist and dragged her along with me, meeting up with Tia who apparently knew the girl already by the skeptical look.

A.)Nanoha
B.)Fate

B for Fate seems the only possibility now, otherwise we should be missing part of the story.
Anyway it seems like I forgot who was Hayate in this fic. She appeared before this chapter, right? Was she a Nanoha's friend?

Cuídense y sigan sonriendo

[Evangelion Xgouki]

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

Clatto Verata Nicto

Originally Posted by BPHaru

You can't revive the dead. Just ask Ed and Al's mother =O

Oh, you can bring back the dead. Now if you want the original soul with that body, that's another thing

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by BPHaru

You can't revive the dead. Just ask Ed and Al's mother =O

Keine'Thuzad is happy to say that you're wrong.

Yes, that's a genderbent Kel'Thuzad, yes she is claimed for OC purposes.

[Evangelion Xgouki]

Originally Posted by Keroko

Keine'Thuzad is happy to say that you're wrong.

...Gweh?!

Originally Posted by Keroko

Yes, that's a genderbent Kel'Thuzad, yes she is claimed for OC purposes.

Wait...what? Claimed for...OC? The hell?

[Tempy]

Originally Posted by Keroko

Keine'Thuzad is happy to say that you're wrong.

Yes, that's a genderbent Kel'Thuzad, yes she is claimed for OC purposes.

Keine? KEINE?! KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEE !!!

Keine-sensei... what happened? ;__;

[Evangelion Xgouki]

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Keine? KEINE?! KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEE !!!

I saw that one coming

I wonder if she'll be given a pet frost wrym...and what her 'loot drops' are