Dating

[Habhome]

Originally Posted by Narona

That's good that you discussed about it. I don't want to scare you, but yes that kind of Ball can have a certain effect, and whatever how she could feel about it, since you talked both about it, she'll remind herself that she should not lost her mind because of that "special/magical" bal aura.

I understand your concern perfectly, and no it's not bad to have felt something. Feel better now ?

A bit perhaps ^^

Originally Posted by Narona

Just post this to them next time:

Spoiler for .:

Hehe, that kind of explains our situation quite well. We didn't really plan for this to happen when deciding to meet for the first time IRL last summer =P

Originally Posted by Narona

You're 17-18. If you start learning czech now, in about 10 years max you will be able to understand her. If she can't resolve the problem, then resolve it yourself =D

True, I have thought about learning Czech. Though I have absolutely no idea how to xD Don't think they have classes for it in Uni, and I dunno where else to go for language classes.
EDIT: And yes, I am 18.

Originally Posted by Narona

Don't take things for granted over the years. Don't lower your guard, but for now, i don't see any problems

Unless something happens on my end which drastically change the situation, I definitely won't let my guard down ^^

[Samari]

I want to hear the board's thoughts about a particular issue in regards to women and night clubs. There seems to be a generalization about certain women when they go to a dance club. A lot of them dress very sexy and can easily draw the attention of men. That being said, women do deserve respect no matter how they dress at a club. They don't deserved to be grouped, belittled, and treated like trash. If a girl says "no", then she means it. I want to get that out of the way first.

Now that I've said that, I do want to state that there are some women out there that really like to flaunt their independence and attitudes if you try to move in on them or even sincerely ask for a dance or just try to have a conversation. In my opinion some girls need to realize that if you dress a certain way you're going to get certain attention...and you shouldn't feel violated or surprised if a guy tries to approach you. Men naturally like attractive women. I know there are creeps out there and that women deserve to be treated with respect, but if you feel uncomfortable...then why go dancing? Even if it's with your friends, I don't see the point in going some place where you don't feel comfortable. Comedian David Chappelle does a funny sketch up of what I'm talking about:

So I'm curious about people's experiencing going to clubs and dealing with this issue. Both guys and girls. I don't really go to clubs anymore seeing as I have a girlfriend, but back in the day I had some weird situations come up. But that was rare. 90% of the time things went well if I asked a girl for a dance.

[Mystique]

*is giving up going out to an MJ night tonight*
Kinda wiped and it'll cost me a fair bit, though am curious to check out more of the club nightlife in central Tokyo

As for club life, I dress semi casual as I'm going there to dance and escape and not catch the eye of guys, so that's as far as I can go in regards to dressing up.
This however doesn't stop guys from approaching me once in a blue moon, it's kinda hard to say 'no', if a guy who can dance well kinda catches your eye and you decide to share space on the dance floor for a bit
For me personally, if a guys got moves, he's got my attention for the night, just as a woman who may be half naked may catch the attention of the male kind.

Brits for most part claim to not be able to dance as a whole... without the use of alcohol (lame in my opinion)
So usually when there's about 2 hours left to go and most people are wasted, I have many a time, just hung out with my mates (or by myself) on the stairs or balcony and watched drunken peeps "dance" for amusement sake.
- Girls begin to grind more, either with their female friends or with a guy.
- Couples begin to make out more some more.
- Others really then begin to let loose and actually can dance pretty well, it's just a shame that they feel they need alcohol to let themselves go.

The Japanese however are somewhat interesting. Similar to Brits, they'd go for a round or two of liquid courage, but for most part, they actually just get up and move.
They also smoke waaaaaaay too much x.x;;;

Depending on the size of the club, bigger ones naturally will have different atmospheres from room to room. Sometimes meeting up with people in the lounge and chatting and hanging out isn't so bad.
Smaller clubs are naturally warmer and friendlier and have their own end of night 'customs' which make it fun to de-stress and have a good laugh with.

Clubs at the end of the day are somewhat like first dates. Most people will glam up for a 'night out with the girls/lads' and most are looking for fun or a good time, so it becomes somewhat of a 'game' sometimes if the different genders are trying to get with each other.

The only thing I could offer advice for guys as this is something I've heard happens a fair bit is if there is a girl you like who is with her mates and you want to try your luck, beware of the cockblockers.
(1.The act of obstructing one person's advances towards another. ) typically in form of the girls 'best friend' who 'rescues' her from your evil clutches if you manage to get some time alone and hang out.

Then again, these are clubs typically of Urban music or Pop music, but what about metal or rock clubs?
Do most just go to mosh and get wasted or is there some form of cross gender interaction, attempts at gaining dates or digits and so on?

[Samari]

Originally Posted by Mystique

The only thing I could offer advice for guys as this is something I've heard happens a fair bit is if there is a girl you like who is with her mates and you want to try your luck, beware of the cockblockers.
(1.The act of obstructing one person's advances towards another. ) typically in form of the girls 'best friend' who 'rescues' her from your evil clutches if you manage to get some time alone and hang out.

Then again, these are clubs typically of Urban music or Pop music, but what about metal or rock clubs?
Do most just go to mosh and get wasted or is there some form of cross gender interaction, attempts at gaining dates or digits and so on?

This is very true. Especially with a group of females. No matter where I go...whether it's some place in California or Tokyo...there is the common trend of the "group circle" that girls use to protect themselves from guys intruding. If there is a girl you are interested in that is within this circle, you might as well forget it...unless you have very good "skills".

[cheyannew]

Originally Posted by Mystique

Then again, these are clubs typically of Urban music or Pop music, but what about metal or rock clubs?
Do most just go to mosh and get wasted or is there some form of cross gender interaction, attempts at gaining dates or digits and so on?

Can't speak for anywhere other than the Metro DC area, but here, there is a degree of scoping out the chicks or whatever. I'm thankfully spared all that, since 90% of the shows I go to I'm actually working the merchandise table for my friend's band, and they assume I'm a band wife (not that I'd mind, cause he's horrifically hot, but alas, already married to an amazing woman and they are not poly. feh)

When I am not working the table, I have seen people trying to mingle, but a lot of the time, they're there to see the bands, and're there with friends so they kind of stay in their own groups. The bar room (which is separated from where the bands play) is a slightly different story, and I have been forced to growl a time or two when some drunken moron comes over to hit on me. Usually the "death glare" works, but sometimes, they're too drunk to figure it out, or for whatever stupid reason, they think they're interesting enough to bypass it. Oh, wait, they're drunk, that's the stupid reason. Silly me.

[cheyannew]

Originally Posted by Samari

This is very true. Especially with a group of females. No matter where I go...whether it's some place in California or Tokyo...there is the common trend of the "group circle" that girls use to protect themselves from guys intruding. If there is a girl you are interested in that is within this circle, you might as well forget it...unless you have very good "skills".

Ahh, sounds like that's the time you want to bring a female friend of yours, as she would be able to penetrate the "circle" and get you phone #s

[RadiantBeam]

I've never been to any clubs myself. Been to a couple parties with friends, but a club atmosphere really isn't my place. I tend to stay away from them and just stick with what I know and feel comfortable with. I'm probably missing out on tons of chances to meet guys by not going to clubs, but I feel fine without going to them.

I wonder if something's wrong with me...

[Habhome]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I've never been to any clubs myself. Been to a couple parties with friends, but a club atmosphere really isn't my place. I tend to stay away from them and just stick with what I know and feel comfortable with. I'm probably missing out on tons of chances to meet guys by not going to clubs, but I feel fine without going to them.

I wonder if something's wrong with me...

Not at all. I have never been to much of a club, the place me and my friends goes to is more of a pub, which turns more into a club later in the night. But we just hang out there together, rarely speaking to anyone outside our group.

[cheyannew]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I've never been to any clubs myself. Been to a couple parties with friends, but a club atmosphere really isn't my place. I tend to stay away from them and just stick with what I know and feel comfortable with. I'm probably missing out on tons of chances to meet guys by not going to clubs, but I feel fine without going to them.

I wonder if something's wrong with me...

Nah;l I've never been to a CLUB per say, just a small venue where local acts play, I wouldn't call it a club cause it's not like there's dancing or anything. I suspect at my age, clubbing's not reall yon the list of "things you should do", and gods know, there is no way in all 9 hells I would dress in "club wear" like the people I see around here. There is not enough material in their skirts to cover my gargantuan arse LOL You wouldn't catch me wearing them, much less "dancing" in them.

[RadiantBeam]

I think I might have lost my chance.

It's about the same boy, who I find I'm annoyingly still hung up on. Unfortunately I didn't have a chance to try finding him again after I initially went down to the campus center because finals started up the week after we met, so I put all my time and energy into studying. Now we're on winter break, and I don't know what happened with him. I'm still holding on to the hope that he might be working the same job during our spring semester, but I know my chances of finding him are still slim to none right now.

Bah. I'm foolishly depressed about this. He really was a sweet guy. I liked talking to him.

[Timdog]

I think I'm destined to be girl's friends forever. I've tried on several girls to be more direct about my intentions with them but they always just think I'm so "adorable" and "cute." And if I start trying to be too confident/direct then they just think I'm an asshole. And being nice has never gotten me anywhere. I'm really ready to just give up on this whole thing, I've tried my ass off for a whole semester and just got a lot of female friends and nothing more. I'm desperate as hell since NO ONE has ever liked me that way but it's come to the point that I don't think it will ever happen. Being an asshole hasn't worked, being nice hasn't worked, trying to just be confident/direct hasn't worked. I've been rejected so many times that it makes me sick to my stomache to even think about it. I've tried having my female friends help me but that doesn't work either. I feel completely defeated now, like there's something majorly wrong with me that I can't ever have another person feel for me as more than a friend.

I've tried all the advice I got earlier in this thread but it's all just ended up in failure after failure. And I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life but that's honestly the only way I can envision my future now...

[synaesthetic]

Why not just try living your life and not worrying about specifically finding love?

In my experience, you don't find love. Love finds you, and generally it does so when you least want it to.

Since I'm sure you're a pretty normal heterosexual male, you've got a lot more going for you than I do, and I've had relationships in the past. ^^; They just happened. I didn't actively seek them out.

[RadiantBeam]

I have to agree with Syn on this, Tim. The way love is, you can't look for it. It looks for you. Don't worry about it too much; just live your life and do the things you want to do, and when you least expect it, you'll fall in love with a wonderful girl who loves you back. It just takes time, and sometimes it happens in unexpected ways, when you aren't even trying to find it anymore.

[Gin]

I have a question for the ladies and/or the guys who get dumped a lot, What is the best way to get a girl to break up with you/not like you any more?

[Timdog]

Originally Posted by synaesthetic

Why not just try living your life and not worrying about specifically finding love?

In my experience, you don't find love. Love finds you, and generally it does so when you least want it to.

Since I'm sure you're a pretty normal heterosexual male, you've got a lot more going for you than I do, and I've had relationships in the past. ^^; They just happened. I didn't actively seek them out.

The thing is that it's been 20 years and I've had no success. In fact, girls only are "interested" in me when they can use me as a cruel joke for their friends. Feign interest in me then once I start trying to take things forward they go giggling to their friends and point and laugh.

I really don't think it's going to just happen, people told me that's what would happen in HS and nothing ever did happen. If I don't try at all then I end up not even talking to girls at all. And to all the people who will come back at me saying "oh, there are plenty ofpeople your age like that" that's just complete BS. Are there many 20 year old virgins? Yes. Are there many 20 year olds who have never kissed a girl, never held hands, never been on a date, AND have tried really hard to get these things? No, they're most certainly are none. My female friends say there are plenty of people out there like that but then I ask for examples. Surprise surprise they can't think of any. Wonder why...

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Gin

I have a question for the ladies and/or the guys who get dumped a lot, What is the best way to get a girl to break up with you/not like you any more?

Most direct and painless way is to just break up with her. Trying to get her to not like you anymore or make her do the breaking up will only lead to a lot of pain and annoyance that can be avoided if you just do it yourself.

[synaesthetic]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I have to agree with Syn on this, Tim. The way love is, you can't look for it. It looks for you. Don't worry about it too much; just live your life and do the things you want to do, and when you least expect it, you'll fall in love with a wonderful girl who loves you back. It just takes time, and sometimes it happens in unexpected ways, when you aren't even trying to find it anymore.

This.

Originally Posted by Timdog

The thing is that it's been 20 years and I've had no success. In fact, girls only are "interested" in me when they can use me as a cruel joke for their friends. Feign interest in me then once I start trying to take things forward they go giggling to their friends and point and laugh.

I really don't think it's going to just happen, people told me that's what would happen in HS and nothing ever did happen. If I don't try at all then I end up not even talking to girls at all. And to all the people who will come back at me saying "oh, there are plenty ofpeople your age like that" that's just complete BS. Are there many 20 year old virgins? Yes. Are there many 20 year olds who have never kissed a girl, never held hands, never been on a date, AND have tried really hard to get these things? No, they're most certainly are none. My female friends say there are plenty of people out there like that but then I ask for examples. Surprise surprise they can't think of any. Wonder why...

I would be willing to bet that the reason you cannot find a girlfriend is largely due to the fact that you're so obsessed with finding one.

Desperation is not attractive to a girl, and no matter how hard you think you're hiding it under a veneer of self-confidence, the only girl you'll find when you're this desperate is someone else who is equally so, and the two of you end up in a codependent relationship. This never ends well.

[Gin]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Most direct and painless way is to just break up with her. Trying to get her to not like you anymore or make her do the breaking up will only lead to a lot of pain and annoyance that can be avoided if you just do it yourself.

Yeah, I already tried that, but it didn't really stick. She's more than just a little crazy.

[Mystique]

Originally Posted by Timdog

The thing is that it's been 20 years and I've had no success. In fact, girls only are "interested" in me when they can use me as a cruel joke for their friends. Feign interest in me then once I start trying to take things forward they go giggling to their friends and point and laugh.

I really don't think it's going to just happen, people told me that's what would happen in HS and nothing ever did happen. If I don't try at all then I end up not even talking to girls at all. And to all the people who will come back at me saying "oh, there are plenty ofpeople your age like that" that's just complete BS. Are there many 20 year old virgins? Yes. Are there many 20 year olds who have never kissed a girl, never held hands, never been on a date, AND have tried really hard to get these things? No, they're most certainly are none. My female friends say there are plenty of people out there like that but then I ask for examples. Surprise surprise they can't think of any. Wonder why...

20 years, the hell?!
You've been wanting relationships since you were a baby?

Technically it's been the odd... 5 years (let's say people try to commit somewhat seriously from about then at 15)
So take that in perspective, then look back at your environment (HS, yeah real good place to seek something genuine)
Those who are fortunate develop something amazing, but usually break once graduated.
And from the hell stories I seem to hear, American HS are more savage than the wild plains in some country in Africa.

20 years and no success is if you're like 38 years old and truly have been trying.
And then I could understand your frustration and suggest other possibilities and ways of finding that someone special.
But your bitterness (I sense via your words), may blind you sometime, so chill, relax and take it easy.
Yes, there are many 20 years olds with zero experience with the opposite sex, the world doesn't consist of just your social circle, you know.

If conventional ways seem not you be as successful as you like, then try other ways (ie, online friendship, dating websites)
Do keep your eyes open and do remain positive should a girl you like come your way and she seems like a winner.

But as you are, it wouldn't really attract many... least not the right company.

Originally Posted by Gin

Yeah, I already tried that, but it didn't really stick. She's more than just a little crazy.

What did you try and what was the result?

[Timdog]

Originally Posted by synaesthetic

This.



I would be willing to bet that the reason you cannot find a girlfriend is largely due to the fact that you're so obsessed with finding one.

Desperation is not attractive to a girl, and no matter how hard you think you're hiding it under a veneer of self-confidence, the only girl you'll find when you're this desperate is someone else who is equally so, and the two of you end up in a codependent relationship. This never ends well.

I've tried this in the past but I find it really hard when I'm constantly reminded of my failures. Just going about my day to day business and seeing couples depresses the hell out of me, going to parties and seeing all the couples making out depresses me even more, I can't watch romances anymore because they just remind me how much of a failure I am in that area. It's really damn hard to just ignore it when it's EVERYWHERE and my friends comment on it a lot too. I try to play it off with them that I don't really care but deep down I care a lot.