2004-06-04, 22:58 | Link #165 | |
だいすきが大好きです!
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HEY YOU! get to posting jokes!!! here. i will Spoiler for rauchy:
Last edited by hobobaggins; 2004-06-04 at 23:26. |
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2004-06-06, 01:51 | Link #166 |
Lord Chairman God King
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The Best Page in the Universe
It's damn funny. Warning: You might be offended about some of the things on the site. (Oh wait, you will be offended.) Have a good time. |
2004-06-06, 01:53 | Link #167 | |
だいすきが大好きです!
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Quote:
... ... a bit old, but at least people are posting funny stuff! |
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2004-06-06, 13:37 | Link #171 |
has big feet
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: UK
Age: 35
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5 amazing jokes
For this joke you need to know that irish and welsh people are considered stupid for no reason. 1) an irish man and a welsh man are walking through a forest and suddenly the irish man falls down a hole. welsh man : "did you break anyhting mate" irish man : "no, theres nothing down here to break" welsh man : "is it dark down there?" irish man : "i dont know i can't see anything" welsh man : "do you want me to call you an ambulance?" irish man : "yeah, ok" welsh man : "haha your an ambulance" Spoiler for slightly rude joke:
again you'll only get this one if you live in england and know what welsh people are like, anyway... Spoiler for slightly rude joke:
4) 2 irish people are walking through a desert and are very thirsty. They stumble across a bar. They walk in and ask the barman for a drink but they have no money. irish guys : please give us a drink we’ll do anything to pay for it Barman : ok. I have this horrible disease which means I have loadsa scabs on my body. You can have a drink if you pick em all off irish guys : ok mate. But it only takes one of us. (after rock, paper, scissors one irish man sits outsideof the pub) an hour later : the one irish man finishes picking the scabs, puts them in a black bag and throws them outside the bar. He then gets the drinks and brings them outside irish man : look I got the drinks irish man outside : you wont believe it I found a black bag full of pork scratchings. I spose I should have saved you some. 5) an irish man, a welsh man, a Scottish man, a jewish man and a Chinese man walk in to a bar. The barman says : “what is this some kind of joke” |
2004-06-06, 13:59 | Link #172 |
だいすきが大好きです!
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kakashilion was the only one to post any jokes??? :l
Why do Scottsmen wear kilts? Because Sheep can hear Zippers what do you get... ...when you cross a sheep with a Welshman? I don't know, but I've seen it tried. One day the teacher walked in the class and seen the word penis written on the board in very small letters. She payed it no mind she just took her hand and rubbed it off the board. The next day penis was written on the board but this time a little bigger. She rubbed it off again. This continued for the next week and each time the words became bigger. She walked in the classroom expecting to rub the word off the board again but this particular day the board read. The more u rub it the bigger it gets |
2004-06-06, 22:27 | Link #176 |
aka. ZP
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Looks like you need Quicktime to play the link above... iBrator .. You get the idea...
Hmmm Looking through my archived links... I know these are old. Simon's Stuff - Be sure to read Bastard Operator From Hell and a few other Writings... Oxymorons - Need I say more. Fun with Words is a place to find many jokes and many other fun wordplay. This page also has a lot of good links. |
2004-06-06, 22:47 | Link #177 | |
だいすきが大好きです!
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Quote:
(BTW: did you frequent ApezRO forums?) Spoiler:
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2004-06-07, 12:52 | Link #179 |
Cantonese Dimples
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Since everyone has been in a political bashing mood, here's a few quotes to hopefully brighten your day:
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. --G. Gordon Liddy A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. --George Bernard Shaw Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. --Douglas Casey (1992) Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. --P.J. O'Rourke Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. --Frederic Bastiat I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. --Will Rogers If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. --P.J. O'Rourke Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. --Pericles (430 B.C.) No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.--Mark Twain (1866) Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. --Mark Twain The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. -Winston Churchill The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. --Mark Twain We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. --Winston Churchill What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. --Edward Langley and finally, from our most recently deceased former US President (RIP), Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. -- Ronald Reagan (1986) Talk is cheap-except when Congress does it. The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other. --Ronald Reagan ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Light hearted Bush humour from Russia - Last SuperPower Condoleeza Rice and Dubya are in the Oval Office... George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. George: Great. Lay it on me. Condi: Hu is the new leader of China. George: That's what I want to know. Condi: That's what I'm telling you. George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China? Condi: Yes. George: I mean the fellow's name. Condi: Hu. George: The guy in China. Condi: Hu. George: The new leader of China. Condi: Hu. George: The Chinaman! Condi: Hu is leading China. George: Now whaddya' asking me for? Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China. George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China? Condi: That's the man's name. George: That's who's name? Condi: Yes. George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China? Condi: Yes, sir. George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East. Condi: That's correct. George: Then who is in China? Condi: Yes, sir. George: Yassir is in China? Condi: No, sir. George: Then who is? Condi: Yes, sir. George: Yassir? Condi: No, sir. George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. Condi: Kofi? George: No, thanks. Condi: You want Kofi? George: No. Condi: You don't want Kofi. George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N. Condi: Yes, sir. George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.! Condi: Kofi? George: Milk! Will you please make the call? Condi: And call who? George: Who is the guy at the U.N? Condi: Hu is the guy in China. George: Will you stay out of China?! Condi: Yes, sir. George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N. Condi: Kofi. George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. (Condi picks up the phone.) Condi: Rice, here. George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East.Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East? |
2004-06-07, 13:55 | Link #180 |
Lord Chairman God King
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Let the Bushisms begin!
Bushisms:
Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning? Europe should have more countries. I know how hard it must be to put food on your family. I understand small business growth, I was one. The ground grounds me. To the C students, I say to you: you, too, can be president of the United States. I think we ought to raise the age at which juveniles can have a gun. They misunderestimated me. You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass the literary test. These are real quotes said by Dubya. |
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