Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Archon_Wing

I'm more interested at assigning them to anime characters.

Tsunderes are usually E/ISFJ.

[Archon_Wing]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Tsunderes are usually E/ISFJ.

Damn, tsunderes are not the ones I would care to find out about.

[Larthak]

As an introverted person myself, I find the surrounding world increasingly hostile to my "being". Seeing how things progress, I fear I may become sour and hostile to others as the years go by.

Job interviews are a nightmare, social media intrudes on my daily life, everyone can call me on the phone whenever they feel like it, not when I consider it appropriate. Heck, even gaming is getting rídiculous. Always online? Persistent worlds? Reliance on thers? Drop-in coop?

Not a lot of people with similar ways of thinking around either. Music is the only saving grace now. The last bastion of my sanity, if I were to feel overly dramatic.

What about you guys? Do you find it difficult being introverts in today's world? Yes or no, feel free to tell why. Others might learn something useful from it.

[frivolity]

I often find that having a personality like mine makes it difficult to survive in the world, but that's not because of introversion itself. I don't think I have any psychological disorders, but on top of being an introvert, I'm also shy, pessimistic sometimes to the point of paranoia, hypersensitive, ... the whole lot.

Blushing when answering a question in class, no matter how simple, even if I know my answer is right. Finding it difficult to initiate conversation with a customer who comes into the store. Always stuttering during phone conversations, sometimes not being able to articulate my thought processes on the spot. While traits like these are often found in introverts, they're caused by other factors that happen to be correlated with introversion and not by the introversion itself.

I'm not going to complain about all these though. The world and the economy has transformed in certain ways for a reason, and if I can't change the world, I'll have to change myself. Discriminating against people who are shy and have those other traits I listed above, thankfully, is different from racism. While people can't change their ethnicity, many psychological traits can be changed, and I hope to change them.

On the other hand, I believe introversion is innate and cannot really be changed, but I hope to embrace it and harness its strength rather than complain about it.

[TooPurePureBoy]

Major introvert here. Funny thing is (or not so funny depending on your outlook) I've been raised and surrounded by extroverts for most of life. This made me think for a long time that there was something wrong with me. Most people in my life for example would always be saying that I should snap out of my antisocial outlook, or just generally acting like it's an excepted thing that I'm not normal and need to change.

Anyone else had similar experience of being an introvert surrounded by extroverts who act like there is something wrong with being an introvert?

[NorthernFallout]

Originally Posted by frivolity

Blushing when answering a question in class, no matter how simple, even if I know my answer is right. Finding it difficult to initiate conversation with a customer who comes into the store. Always stuttering during phone conversations, sometimes not being able to articulate my thought processes on the spot.

Sounds like a copy of myself, though it's gotten a lot better in recent years. Add a general slowness in my mental capabilities, and a need to get to know someone before actually talking, and it becomes a royal problem.

Originally Posted by frivolity

On the other hand, I believe introversion is innate and cannot really be changed, but I hope to embrace it and harness its strength rather than complain about it.

"Be yourself" is a common advice. And it's somewhat bull since, as you and others say, being an introvert is not the "default" mode and so becomes stigmatized (even if it holds truth or not). As you, I also think it's innate and part of who you are. Hence, yes, embracing the strengths is something I agree with.

Originally Posted by TooPurePureBoy

Anyone else had similar experience of being an introvert surrounded by extroverts who act like there is something wrong with being an introvert?

Most of my friends. I was never a partygoer, which is something they have never been able to understand. This continues to this day and while I'm a little more outgoing now, it's more of a necessary evil. They cannot fathom this. I miss the days of a simple night at the movies and retarded discussion the entire night...

[Kudryavka]

You cannot change if you are introverted, but you can learn to be more open and outgoing to new people. Not that learning to be open to people is necessary, I'm just saying it is possible to learn traits of the opposite personality.

Originally Posted by Irenicus

So, like, can you keep the tempo up basically indefinitely? No sense of exhaustion after an hour or two, no running out of things to talk about? And say, after a whole day of hanging out, shopping or whatever, are you refreshed and ready to go for more?

I'm actually pretty curious how this extroversion thing really works. Introversion, that I know.

Well, if we have good chemistry the other person finds something to talk about when I run out. Or if we don't I'll just make something up (not something completely lame like "Wow the sky is clear!"). I never really get exhausted of talking, but there are people with whom I just don't work, at least not at first, so the conversation just dies and we go our separate ways.

And yes, I loove shopping!! Shopping is relaxing, especially at a busy beautiful mall. Usually I only go home when I run out of money or it gets too late...

[ChainLegacy]

Originally Posted by TooPurePureBoy

Major introvert here. Funny thing is (or not so funny depending on your outlook) I've been raised and surrounded by extroverts for most of life. This made me think for a long time that there was something wrong with me. Most people in my life for example would always be saying that I should snap out of my antisocial outlook, or just generally acting like it's an excepted thing that I'm not normal and need to change.

Anyone else had similar experience of being an introvert surrounded by extroverts who act like there is something wrong with being an introvert?

Yes, my mother could never understand the fact that I don't really enjoy mindless socializing. I don't blame her, but it was a struggle to get her to accept that it's not because I am too shy, have some mental problem, etc, but rather I genuinely don't feel happy in such circumstances.

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Archon_Wing

Damn, tsunderes are not the ones I would care to find out about.

Girls of my kind (INTJ) are usually yanderes.

Originally Posted by ChainLegacy

Yes, my mother could never understand the fact that I don't really enjoy mindless socializing. I don't blame her, but it was a struggle to get her to accept that it's not because I am too shy, have some mental problem, etc, but rather I genuinely don't feel happy in such circumstances.

Why do people often attribute introverted or homely people to some sort of mental illness? The last time a counsellor suggested this to me I asked if she is mentally handicapped because she has no brain to conduct deep thoughts - granted then I was incredibly angry at almost everyone because I am easily misunderstood due to bad language and conversational skills, but that insult is totally worth it.

[ChainLegacy]

Kaijo mentioned that extroverts cannot understand introverts as well as we can understand them. I think he's correct, at least typically. If you're like me, and do not have many 'typically associated' traits of being an introvert, the confusion is probably even greater.

[Triple_R]

Originally Posted by Archon_Wing

I'm more interested at assigning them to anime characters.

Well, the girl in your avatar is definitely an introvert.

The girl in your sig is probably an introvert as well. But Nanoha is almost certainly an extrovert. That's interesting - Nanoha/Fate are an extrovert/introvert pair. That's an interesting wrinkle to their relationship that I never really considered before.


The girl in my avatar probably leans slightly extrovert. The girl in my sig is probably introverted.

[SaintessHeart]

Fate is ISFJ. Sayaka is ENFP.

And they are both mine, so keep your grubby hands off my lolis.

[Archon_Wing]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Fate is ISFJ. Sayaka is ENFP.

And they are both mine, so keep your grubby hands off my lolis.

Fate is 25! She's too old for you.

Also, what about Nanoha? I'd imagine she'd be closer to Sayaka due to a strong desire for justice.

Originally Posted by Triple_R

Well, the girl in your avatar is definitely an introvert.

The girl in your sig is probably an introvert as well. But Nanoha is almost certainly an extrovert. That's interesting - Nanoha/Fate are an extrovert/introvert pair. That's an interesting wrinkle to their relationship that I never really considered before.

It's funny, since Mio is based strongly around this topic. And yea, I guess Fate isn't very fond of small talk.

Originally Posted by NorthernFallout

"Be yourself" is a common advice. And it's somewhat bull since, as you and others say, being an introvert is not the "default" mode and so becomes stigmatized (even if it holds truth or not). As you, I also think it's innate and part of who you are. Hence, yes, embracing the strengths is something I agree with.

Be yourself is such a worthless term that they use it for marketing. Be yourself... as long as you pay us money.

[DonQuigleone]

I don't know... I think being yourself is generally good policy. If you're someone else, and someone makes friends with you, then actually they're not making friends with the real you, are they? Not much point in having them as friends (in terms of conversation). Also, carrying a charade of "being someone else" is quite stressful too. You have to live a life of biting your tongue, all day every day.

That said, there are situations where you shouldn't "be yourself", say, Job Interviews:

"I like to spend all day playing video games and watching anime, while avoiding work of any kind..."

"Right..."

[Triple_R]

Originally Posted by Archon_Wing

Fate is 25! She's too old for you.

Ha ha! Good one!

Also, what about Nanoha? I'd imagine she'd be closer to Sayaka due to a strong desire for justice.

Well, since we're talking magical girls here...

Madoka - Slight extrovert

Homura - Introvert

Kyouko - A tough one. She's a definite loner but she's eager to speak her mind. Hhhmmm... I'm going to go with slight introvert. But I could be way off here.

Mami - Slight extrovert

Vita - Extrovert

Signum - Slight introvert

Yuuno - Slight extrovert

Subaru - Extrovert

Teana - Introvert

Precia Testarossa - Introvert

Jail Scaglietti - Extrovert. The guy clearly loves company given what he creates.


What do you think, Archon?

Be yourself is such a worthless term that they use it for marketing. Be yourself... as long as you pay us money.

Given that you strike me as almost never failing to be yourself, I find this very ironic coming from you.

[Archon_Wing]

Originally Posted by DonQuigleone

I don't know... I think being yourself is generally good policy. If you're someone else, and someone makes friends with you, then actually they're not making friends with the real you, are they? Not much point in having them as friends (in terms of conversation). Also, carrying a charade of "being someone else" is quite stressful too. You have to live a life of biting your tongue, all day every day.

That said, there are situations where you shouldn't "be yourself", say, Job Interviews:

"I like to spend all day playing video games and watching anime, while avoiding work of any kind..."

"Right..."

It is a good policy, though a lot of people that you must interact with aren't here to be your friends, as the amount of fucks one can give are limited, and well, to many, they have to go about their own ways and you are just there. Of course people that are your friends must learn to accept you for who they are, but honestly, a lot of people are just unable to grasp true acceptance of someone especially if they don't fit social norms too easily.

It is nice to talk about freedom, but in order for things to go more orderly, concessions have to be made since other people aren't likely to make way just for you. Unless you are 1.) totally awesome 2.) Manipulative 3.) Or just have a generally likable personality for many .

Originally Posted by Triple_R

Ha ha! Good one!




Well, since we're talking magical girls here...

Madoka - Slight extrovert

Homura - Introvert

Kyouko - A tough one. She's a definite loner but she's eager to speak her mind. Hhhmmm... I'm going to go with slight introvert. But I could be way off here.

Mami - Slight extrovert

Vita - Extrovert

Signum - Slight introvert

Yuuno - Slight extrovert

Subaru - Extrovert

Teana - Introvert

Precia Testarossa - Introvert

Jail Scaglietti - Extrovert. The guy clearly loves company given what he creates.


What do you think, Archon?

Take this test: http://psychology-tools.com/myers-br...ype-indicator/

Well, I would say that you're the only one that makes Jail an entertaining character to me, lol.

The rest is right, though Madoka is actually a fairly interesting case.

Given that you strike me as almost never failing to be yourself, I find this very ironic coming from you.

Well I think the whole term got sorta co-opted. Sorta like how hipsters try to be nonconformist.... by conforming to something else. Though my thought is that many preach tolerance but fewer manage to actually do it leading to more reservations.

Although I would say that being yourself is something that just happens and doesn't have to be said. If someone has trouble being themselves then there are other issues otherwise they would have done that already. Basically it wouldn't even have been an issue in the first place thus dispensing said advice is useless to people that actually need it. It's also harder for some people to be themselves depending on what it is, due to acceptance. I mean what's our common joke about writers like Mari Okada anyways?

[Demi.]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Fate is ISFJ. Sayaka is ENFP.

And they are both mine, so keep your grubby hands off my lolis.

You shouldn't be so greedy with them lolis. I'll take Fate, you can keep Sayaka. Win/win situation for the both of us.

Oh and where is Nanoha? Fate misses her already.

On topic: Not too many extrovert characters that I like. The characters that blurt out w/e they're thinking at the moment were never too appealing to me. I like the calm, thoughtful characters...Who may sometimes have trouble expressing their feelings and opinions, but are more than capable of it if asked directly.

[Solace]

Originally Posted by Archon_Wing

Take this test: http://psychology-tools.com/myers-br...ype-indicator/

Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator is: INFP, the “Dreamer”

Introversion: 60%
iNtutitive: 80%
Feeling: 55%
Perceiving: 65%

Fascinating.

[Ledgem]

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

Why do people often attribute introverted or homely people to some sort of mental illness?

Because they are potential signs of mental illness, and they're not associated with good health. Many psychological disorders (schizophrenia and its spectrum) hits people's interest in socialization, and the ability to relate to others. It's more of a concern if a person develops those traits where they didn't have them previously, but even if a person has been like that for almost their entire life it doesn't rule out a potential disorder. (Of course, that gets into the philosophical debate of whether it's really a disorder that should be treated or just something different from the norm.) Health-wise, some studies are beginning to find links between social isolation and depression and earlier death, but correlation isn't causation and all that - it could be that depression causes the other two, and so on.

Regarding introverts and extroverts, I wonder if part of it is "chemistry" with other people, and possibly perception of oneself. I was a shy introvert for much of my life, preferring to be alone and finding it very draining to be around others. A few years ago I made a group of friends that changed my views. I'd always enjoyed spending time with friends, but not too much time; with these guys, we could spend days doing things together and it was fun and energizing. Farther after that, my self-confidence and self-respect grew, and I found that engaging even with some random strangers could have an energizing effect. It seemed that increased confidence had expanded my "chemistry compatibility" with others.

I still slip into a shy mindset at times, and I still enjoy spending time alone. Some people are still draining to me; there are some days where it feels like everyone is draining to me. But now it seems as if I've developed extrovert characteristics.

I suppose it makes sense. We talk about introverts and extroverts as if they're traits like the color of your skin, but they're psychological traits. A person's psychology isn't unchangeable.

[Triple_R]

Originally Posted by Archon_Wing

Take this test: http://psychology-tools.com/myers-br...ype-indicator/

This is what I got...



Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator is: INFP, the “Dreamer”

Introversion: 90%
iNtutitive: 70%
Feeling: 70%
Perceiving: 50%

The rest is right, though Madoka is actually a fairly interesting case.

I agree, because Madoka doesn't exactly feel like an extrovert in her overall characterization. But I think at her core Madoka is an optimistic extrovert.

Spoiler for Madoka Magica spoilers:

While she can be a bit reserved and uncertain at times, she's very eager to make friends and she does talk a lot. Madoka strikes me as someone who thrives on social contact. She also adapted very well to people that, let's not forget, where total strangers to her (Homura, Mami, and Kyouko). I was particularly impressed with how calm, confident and open Madoka was in her conversations with Kyouko in Episode 9. Keep in mind that this is the person that only a few episodes ago was trying to kill one of Madoka's two closest friends.