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Old 2010-01-29, 16:42   Link #22761
Alavon
Worshipper of Nanoha...
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: In my imagination...
Quote:
Originally Posted by intangible ink View Post
New here. :]

I had this idea that wouldn't stop bothering me...

So here's an AU crack-ish plot bunny, in which Alicia is still alive, they're all in a modern setting, etc. I haven't really done any research so if their jobs seem weird and stuff... well, just tell me and I'll try to fix it. Also, I’m not gonna bother with honorifics (-chan, -san) because they're too confusing and I don't know if it's proper, blah blah.

Anywho, I call it...

Spoiler for Untitled:


By the way, is Nanoha brunette? Because her hair is kind of reddish, so it's like... auburn?
Hi and welcome.

I like your fic but the "The Big Important Company Over Here" just seems a bit off. Other than that, very good. I wasn't expecting the end to be like that; you totally caught me off guard. Please write more.

And again, welcome.

@Nanoha's Hair: We write that she's brunette.
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Old 2010-01-29, 17:41   Link #22762
intangible ink
電脳コイル'd
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: In a house.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alavon View Post
I like your fic but the "The Big Important Company Over Here" just seems a bit off.
Yeah, I was just using that as a fill-in kinda thing, until I can think up of a name for both companies. I haven't even really thought up of what the companies do yet, so... Anyways, I'll edit it later, when I have some sort of idea. ^^;
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Old 2010-01-29, 17:42   Link #22763
deathcurse
Queen of Tragedy
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Place of rocks and trees, and trees and rocks...and water.
Age: 33
MWAHAHAHA! Finally, we did it!

RB and I proudly present the Epilogue to Case File: Runaways!

Warning: As we wrote other Logs while writing this one, there is a tiny spoiler for an upcoming log buried inside this monstrosity. Read at your own risk!

Daily Activity Log of Officers F. Testarossa and N. Takamachi

Spoiler for Log #7: Feb-3, Runaways Epilogue:

Spoiler for Logs Archive:

Last edited by deathcurse; 2010-03-04 at 01:24. Reason: one word change
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Old 2010-01-29, 19:03   Link #22764
RadiantBeam
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So yes, finally, our first Case File is complete.
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Old 2010-01-29, 19:47   Link #22765
Nanya01
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Well...

It's been a while...

And I've been thinking and...

Sounds like I'm trying to say that I'm leaving for good, huh?

NAH!

Well, I wrote up the next chapter of my "Time Loops" Story... Chapter 4. (As it would be on FF.Net)

I'll share here before I post it there. You can find all previous chapters on FF.Net.

Yes, it's a crossover. It's why I'm actually hesitant to post it here. Most people seem to dislike crossovers.

Spoiler for Numbers in Nerima - Chapter 3:


Another long chapter from me. Go figure.
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My fics Due to certain things, I am not here, find me over on TFF.
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Old 2010-01-29, 21:00   Link #22766
isagrimorie
Zombie Slayer in Training
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Asia
Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
MWAHAHAHA! Finally, we did it!

RB and I proudly present the Epilogue to Case File: Runaways!

Warning: As we wrote other Logs while writing this one, there is a tiny spoiler for an upcoming log buried inside this monstrosity. Read at your own risk!

Daily Activity Log of Officers F. Testarossa and N. Takamachi

Spoiler for Log #7: Feb-3, Runaways Epilogue:

Spoiler for Logs Archive:
OMG! OMG! The ending! The ending! The ending! That was fantastic! I can't wait for more! Jail's turning out to be a pretty effective villain! Also, more tantalizing hints on Fate's mysterious background and another Signum scene! Yay!

I love Fate's scene with Grahem and the 'interrogation' scene with Misato (yay for bringing her in!).

And Nanoha being her crazy fun but quietly supportive self. I liked her arguments about the cons of adopting the whole litter of kids, right now, in that point of her life Fate isn't ready for that responsibility and adding in Misato was a great way to solve that adoption question.

BTW, I noticed that this Nanoha has an affinity for speed, its not a big thing but it does make me curious, if you switched up skillsets between Nanoha and Fate? In the canon speed is what Fate's known for both by reputation and as a hobby (Cardiche!) but it seems in this world, Nanoha's the one shown to out run Fate and gushing about speedy car chases was that deliberate?
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Old 2010-01-29, 21:13   Link #22767
deathcurse
Queen of Tragedy
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Place of rocks and trees, and trees and rocks...and water.
Age: 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Well...

It's been a while...

And I've been thinking and...

Sounds like I'm trying to say that I'm leaving for good, huh?

NAH!

Well, I wrote up the next chapter of my "Time Loops" Story... Chapter 4. (As it would be on FF.Net)

I'll share here before I post it there. You can find all previous chapters on FF.Net.

Yes, it's a crossover. It's why I'm actually hesitant to post it here. Most people seem to dislike crossovers.

Spoiler for Numbers in Nerima - Chapter 3:


Another long chapter from me. Go figure.
I just skimmed it a bit, but I liked the attention to detail of how their fight didn't disturb the yard at all . For some reason, that image appeared stronger in my head than the typical "trash everything" kind of fight scene.

Quote:
Originally Posted by isagrimorie View Post
OMG! OMG! The ending! The ending! The ending! That was fantastic! I can't wait for more! Jail's turning out to be a pretty effective villain! Also, more tantalizing hints on Fate's mysterious background and another Signum scene! Yay!

I love Fate's scene with Grahem and the 'interrogation' scene with Misato (yay for bringing her in!).

And Nanoha being her crazy fun but quietly supportive self. I liked her arguments about the cons of adopting the whole litter of kids, right now, in that point of her life Fate isn't ready for that responsibility and adding in Misato was a great way to solve that adoption question.

BTW, I noticed that this Nanoha has an affinity for speed, its not a big thing but it does make me curious, if you switched up skillsets between Nanoha and Fate? In the canon speed is what Fate's known for both by reputation and as a hobby (Cardiche!) but it seems in this world, Nanoha's the one shown to out run Fate and gushing about speedy car chases was that deliberate?
Thanks! ^^ This was an absolute joy to write, even though some parts were really tough to get over (hence why we finished two other Logs before completing this one )

I'm sure you can guess whose idea it was to bring Misato in !

Ah, thanks for pointing out the Nanoha speed thing...maybe we should clean up the beginning, it's actually Fate driving, but I think the writing is vague.... I had put Nanoha with the motor unit because I thought that it was a little wild, more Nanoha-rebel , but you make a really good point about associating Fate with speed....I'll have to confer with RB on this ^^.

As always, thanks for the reviews! It helps to know what's going well, and what things we've missed!

EDIT: I changed one word at the beginning of the Log that will hopefully clarify subtly who was driving?

Last edited by deathcurse; 2010-01-29 at 23:15.
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Old 2010-01-29, 23:20   Link #22768
deathcurse
Queen of Tragedy
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Place of rocks and trees, and trees and rocks...and water.
Age: 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by intangible ink View Post
New here. :]

I had this idea that wouldn't stop bothering me...

So here's an AU crack-ish plot bunny, in which Alicia is still alive, they're all in a modern setting, etc. I haven't really done any research so if their jobs seem weird and stuff... well, just tell me and I'll try to fix it. Also, I’m not gonna bother with honorifics (-chan, -san) because they're too confusing and I don't know if it's proper, blah blah.

Anywho, I call it...

Spoiler for Untitled:


By the way, is Nanoha brunette? Because her hair is kind of reddish, so it's like... auburn?
Sorry for the double-post , but I think I've edited one post enough.......

Anyways, I loved this . I'm a sucker for HayatexAlicia (even if Hayate is panting after Fate in this one ), and the mistaken identity-thing sets up a typical humourous case of misunderstandings, but there's a nice feel about your writing that interests me.

I hope you continue this ^^.
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Old 2010-01-30, 00:15   Link #22769
isagrimorie
Zombie Slayer in Training
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Asia
Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Ah, thanks for pointing out the Nanoha speed thing...maybe we should clean up the beginning, it's actually Fate driving, but I think the writing is vague.... I had put Nanoha with the motor unit because I thought that it was a little wild, more Nanoha-rebel , but you make a really good point about associating Fate with speed....I'll have to confer with RB on this ^^.

As always, thanks for the reviews! It helps to know what's going well, and what things we've missed!

EDIT: I changed one word at the beginning of the Log that will hopefully clarify subtly who was driving?
Heh, that's only because I recently re-watched the episode where Fate was driving the cardiche and how she revved it up and just zoomed her way back to HQ

Oh, don't worry, its not the who's driving that had me puzzled just that bit about the motor unit and Nanoha outrunning Fate in the Jan 22 log, I think.
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Old 2010-01-30, 01:11   Link #22770
Mae
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Age: 33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by intangible ink View Post
New here. :]

I had this idea that wouldn't stop bothering me...

So here's an AU crack-ish plot bunny, in which Alicia is still alive,...

...Anywho, I call it...

Spoiler for Untitled:

Oh my. I do hope you continue this! Oh please, oh please! :3 I need more of it~ ! @~@ I love teh cuteness~

Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post

Spoiler for Log #7: Feb-3, Runaways Epilogue:
That freaked me out big time. I honestly shivered as I read the sniper part and looked around my room. Really well done if it did that to me-- I also might just be a huge wimp. >w<;;;

Last edited by Mae; 2010-01-30 at 01:29.
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Old 2010-01-30, 02:51   Link #22771
deathcurse
Queen of Tragedy
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Place of rocks and trees, and trees and rocks...and water.
Age: 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by isagrimorie View Post
Heh, that's only because I recently re-watched the episode where Fate was driving the cardiche and how she revved it up and just zoomed her way back to HQ

Oh, don't worry, its not the who's driving that had me puzzled just that bit about the motor unit and Nanoha outrunning Fate in the Jan 22 log, I think.
Ah, I see! Damn, you make a really good point...I guess I thought of Nanoha as more the "physical" one and Fate as the more "smarts" one....nice catch! I think for the motor unit Nanoha just likes the rebel-feel of the motorcycle .

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mae View Post
That freaked me out big time. I honestly shivered as I read the sniper part and looked around my room. Really well done if it did that to me-- I also might just be a huge wimp. >w<;;;
Thanks for that, it was supposed to creep you out , so I guess we did a good job?
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Old 2010-01-30, 03:02   Link #22772
RadiantBeam
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Heck, when DC first sent me the PM I was creeped out! And that's saying something!
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Old 2010-01-30, 03:25   Link #22773
isagrimorie
Zombie Slayer in Training
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Asia
Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Ah, I see! Damn, you make a really good point...I guess I thought of Nanoha as more the "physical" one and Fate as the more "smarts" one....nice catch! I think for the motor unit Nanoha just likes the rebel-feel of the motorcycle .
But your rebel motor thing does make sense though! So, in the wise words of the Godfather, 'fugged about it!'

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Heck, when DC first sent me the PM I was creeped out! And that's saying something!
I'm going to vote twice about that creepy thing there 'cause it is creepy!
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Old 2010-01-30, 03:30   Link #22774
deathcurse
Queen of Tragedy
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Place of rocks and trees, and trees and rocks...and water.
Age: 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by isagrimorie View Post
But your rebel motor thing does make sense though! So, in the wise words of the Godfather, 'fugged about it!'
LOL! XD Maybe after that humiliating race with Nanoha, Fate decides to do some hard-core running training?

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Heck, when DC first sent me the PM I was creeped out! And that's saying something!
Quote:
Originally Posted by isagrimorie View Post
I'm going to vote twice about that creepy thing there 'cause it is creepy!
Yes, success! Seems all that practice writing Precia paid off !
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Old 2010-01-30, 04:01   Link #22775
Satashi
Vividly Vivio
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Join Date: Jun 2007
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Age: 40
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Well, since I made Nanoha's gun, might as well do Fate's......
(not canon)
Spoiler for DAL!Fate's gun:

Last edited by Satashi; 2010-01-30 at 04:12.
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Old 2010-01-30, 10:14   Link #22776
Tabasco
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Age: 41
Nitpick alert:

Doesn't Fate use a revolver in the Logs?

Otherwise, the colors are perfect, and I like the little decal on the grip from the Image thread.
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Old 2010-01-30, 10:28   Link #22777
Lockdown-51
Peace Out!
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Under a tree
Kinda new to this stuff but I hope this fic is worth your while. It may look all militaryish and stuff but I plan it to be a little more romantic. I borrowed inspirations from Ace Combat 4 about meteors falling from the sky and all that.

Ahem, anyway, here it is. Please comment on it and if possible, tell me where I went wrong. I haven't watched the series in a while so I may have forgotten a thing or two.

Spoiler for Shattered Skies:
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Old 2010-01-30, 10:45   Link #22778
Satashi
Vividly Vivio
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Join Date: Jun 2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tabasco View Post
Nitpick alert:

Doesn't Fate use a revolver in the Logs?

Otherwise, the colors are perfect, and I like the little decal on the grip from the Image thread.
I didn't think of that. I thought Fate mentioned a clip before, but I guess it was Nanoha.
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Old 2010-01-30, 16:28   Link #22779
intangible ink
電脳コイル'd
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: In a house.
One.

I'm going to try to make this make sense, but most likely at one point, it won't so... try to correct me. :P

PLOT HOLES galore!

Spoiler for Untitled:
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Old 2010-01-30, 16:37   Link #22780
deathcurse
Queen of Tragedy
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Place of rocks and trees, and trees and rocks...and water.
Age: 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by intangible ink View Post
One.

I'm going to try to make this make sense, but most likely at one point, it won't so... try to correct me. :P

PLOT HOLES galore!

Spoiler for Untitled:
Nice . First off, I'd recommend coming up with a title ....anything is fine, but it just makes it easier to remember and to refer to your story for readers.

I like how Fate immediately noticed Alicia's change in routine, that really shows just how attuned to each other they are . I also laughed at how hypocritical that situation was, with both of them being mad at the other person for impersonating the other, but yet both of them admitted to doing it .

Great work! ^^

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tabasco View Post
Nitpick alert:

Doesn't Fate use a revolver in the Logs?

Otherwise, the colors are perfect, and I like the little decal on the grip from the Image thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
I didn't think of that. I thought Fate mentioned a clip before, but I guess it was Nanoha.
Fate does use a revolver . I can't recall where I made a reference to a clip, but if it was for Fate and not for Nanoha, I meant how apparently some revolvers do have the bullets clipped together so that you don't have to load each chamber individually?
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