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Old 2011-12-22, 10:04   Link #4141
Shiek927
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Originally Posted by Claymore! View Post
Loved it
Except the stuff about Deneve, but other than that it was pretty funny
Glad you enjoyed it

You didn't like the parts with Deneve? how come?
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Old 2011-12-22, 10:11   Link #4142
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Originally Posted by Shiek927 View Post
Glad you enjoyed it

You didn't like the parts with Deneve? how come?
I don't like it at all when people call her "Dr. Deneve"
When people say that it just annoys me, a lot.
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Old 2011-12-22, 14:14   Link #4143
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I don't like it at all when people call her "Dr. Deneve"
When people say that it just annoys me, a lot.
Heh, you know it's true about her behavior though ...

The chapters are mostly intended as satire though - this one for example was based alot on the shenanigans of the last chapter discussion thread, hence the leadership topic for example .
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Old 2012-01-09, 08:09   Link #4144
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Heh, didn't really expect to find funny stuff here, but they were pretty good .. xP

How come this thread have started getting "buried"?

Anyways, I hope a new chapter of Silver Eyed Empress comes out soon .. If it were illustrated by someone it would be pretty interesting ..
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Old 2012-01-10, 17:32   Link #4145
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Hmm, a new season of claymore? I understand good?
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Old 2012-01-10, 21:14   Link #4146
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Originally Posted by Rigald View Post
Heh, didn't really expect to find funny stuff here, but they were pretty good .. xP

How come this thread have started getting "buried"?

Anyways, I hope a new chapter of Silver Eyed Empress comes out soon .. If it were illustrated by someone it would be pretty interesting ..
I honestly have no idea -- for some reason, interest in fanfiction, at least on this website, has taken a huge nosedive the last couple of months (or maybe even years at this point 0_o).

I could be wrong, but I can only go purely by the people who comment - maybe lurkers read the story, but I just don't know if people don't comment/review - essentially, authors are writing stories unfortunately to brick walls, it feels.

A shame because it's not like lack of quality has gone down the last couple of years - if anything, with regards to quality, it's actually gone up I feel; It's just a shame more people can't take five seconds to even say "update!" or at least something.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comeda
Hmm, a new season of claymore? I understand good?
Uhhh....no?

Why are you asking here anyway?
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Old 2012-01-11, 07:50   Link #4147
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I feel kind of guilty now, seems I am kind of a lurker .. But sometimes I indeed have not much to contribute with .. Neither am I that much of a forum guy, so may see things differently ..

Comeda, maybe you are confused if I understood correctly .. "The Silver Eyed Empress" is a fanfiction story based on Claymore(almost a continuation of it from some point after, but of course it differs greatly). No new season of Claymore that I know of .. Although I'd really like it

With all the Dr. Deneve stuff I see, I can imagine a modern story about Deneve having survived till now and being a psychologist for some secret agency or something .. xP
Now that I think of it, maybe it could ..
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Old 2012-01-11, 12:20   Link #4148
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I can't speak for anyone else but I've been doing other things lately and need to get back to doing some writing.
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Old 2012-01-16, 13:15   Link #4149
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rigald View Post
Heh, didn't really expect to find funny stuff here, but they were pretty good .. xP

How come this thread have started getting "buried"?

Anyways, I hope a new chapter of Silver Eyed Empress comes out soon .. If it were illustrated by someone it would be pretty interesting ..
There's a new chapter finally out for "The Silver-eyed Empress", as I finally have some free writing time.

As for illustrating my stories, Bmesias063 has decided to do an illustrated version of my first book's prologue.

Spoiler for Claymore: New Era Prologue in illustrated form (unfinished):
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Old 2012-01-19, 23:21   Link #4150
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Hi there,


I am here to give some news in that the second part of the new RakiXLuciela story, "Strange Consorts: Bad for Business" is now ready.


It is below for the forum's interest


Spoiler for Strange Consorts: Bad for Business (Part 2):



Admittedly, this story will be a little longer for a practical reason rather than the two parts envisioned, but I think this would be a more effective method for the readership (if any ).


Thanks again,


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Old 2012-01-20, 00:44   Link #4151
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Ooo hoo hoo, that was an exciting read Blue -- reading the second chapter, many things are coming to mind that show how different this story is from yours.

For one thing, the pace is alot different -- perhaps I'm mistaken and it hasn't changed at all, but I think, to make myself understandable, developments are taking place -- fast. The previous story was very slow, and, it wasn't until Luciella fought the Yoma and Dahl, did the story feel like the pace had begun to accelerate...because tensions was now thick and action-packed events were taken place.

Here though, Luciella and Raki seemed to have come to this town with a mission, a purpose; I think that is what I'm feeling...because it gives it an entirely different feeling then the previous story. That's not to say that this story isn't still big on slow build-ups and character developments which I love; too early to judge anyway.....however, to make an example, many events took place in this one single chapter -- the letter, Luciella's confrontation, Raki's confrontation....many things, and for me, it made the chapter go by very fast.

It's nothing bad; I'm implying nothing of the sort....it's just something that I noticed. The baddies in this story are the ever malevolent slave-traders, as I suspected; in their own way, since so much of slave-trading and the Org goes hand-in-hand.....messing with those one, seemingly key industry in this town, could very well have ramifications at Staff -- in other words, in her own way, Luciella is still fighting the war.

Nevertheless, even though it's too early to judge as I say, hopefully Raki and Luciella still have plenty of alone time (not like that...not that I wouldn't mind though ); again, almost entirely in the last story actually, so much of it was simply Raki and Luciella being together...in eachother's company, growing together.....it's interesting and curious that they have a 'mission' in this story, but hopefully that won't hog or interfere with their relationship -- fortunately though, they still get plenty of time together, Raki is still learning, and as we see, he's finally blossoming his self-confidence and willpower -- their is only so much he can do, but he still fights with everything he has, and Luciella backs him up when necessary

Another thing that really caught my attention is the vocabulary....Claymore has always been a medieval/modern story; in a way, I was reminded of that seeing so many words and descriptions for things you wouldn't expect in their world, but their is...your writing and vocab really helped to make a very clear picture of your story and the world within it, which is always something I enjoy.

One thing that gets my attention is still the same as before: the chapter title....now we're at Part 2....is that what it's going to be from now on? Part 3/4/5/etc? Believe me, I'm only trying to be as clear as possible Your last story never had any chapter titles, only numbers, so I'm assuming that's how it's going to be how it is with this one.

I'm also a little confused/intrigued about your words and the story being "a little bit longer"...are we talking about the story as a whole itself, this section/chapter etc? That's probably, as you can imagine, my biggest confusion -- if you don't mind, it would be easier if you could just spell out the format for how you are making the story

As always, I'm loving it...I like surprises, so I'm trying not to guess too much at what might happen; can't wait to hear from you again
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Old 2012-01-20, 22:02   Link #4152
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Hi again Shiek,


My...thank you for that very considerate and detailed review; it is very appreciated and I am grateful for your interest, as always.


Firstly, thank you for your commentary on the pacing and speed of the narrative. I had intended to blend both Luciela and Raki with a greater mission in this story; and I am glad that it resonates so well too in the reading, without biting into the prime dynamic which remains Luciela and Raki themselves.


The tone and pace of the story established, I am also happy that the world of Braeton is as vivid as it can be here; setting a textured and contoured scenery for the duo and their exploits. Of course, regarding the presentation of the stories through the numbering, I can say that the stories given would have numbers for each chapter, while stand alone's would have their title only, if that makes sense .


When saying that the story would be longer, I was referring to a earlier post in which I thought this story would be two parts long. This proved impractical for a few reasons, thus necessitating a part three in the coming future. But I can understand your concern with chapters and parts. Hopefully, a chapter will be whole unless necessary and for the reader's good digestion of the story inside .


Thanks again,


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Old 2012-01-21, 01:06   Link #4153
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Thanks for the reply

As for the chapter titles....I think I get; um, sort of......

Let's just take care of one step at a time - What is the name of the story? "Strange Consorts: Bad for Business" I presume?

If so, then we are on Chapter 2 right now....unless this is still actually the first chapter, which was so huge, that you cut it into two parts (In which "Chapter 1 Part 1/2").

If that's what it all boils down to, then that's all it should be - you've never named individual chapters before, which is why I'm assuming you aren't now (Bad for Business, i'm assuming, is the name of the sequel and not simply the name of this chapter -- because if so, then the story itself doesn't actually have a new title and is, again, 'Strange Consorts')

I'm also assuming by your words that, by the "longer" part, you are talking about the chapter and not the whole story itself....because a two or three-part story would be a very very short one by your standards

This whole thing sounds really silly in my opinion, but I would be lying if I said it wasn't confusing me -- again, just spell it out in plain english so I and others won't be confused (probably just me XD).
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Old 2012-01-21, 23:10   Link #4154
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Hi again Shiek,


My apologies. It seems that my talent for obsfucation rises now and again when only half knowing .


Still, you have good points and I will try to clarify.


This story is presented as a successor to the first, but inside the same continuity as you know.


"Strange Consorts" is both the name of the original story and now lends that name to the series of stories about LucielaXRaki. "Bad for Business" is the title of the story within this series continuity - thus we get "Strange Consorts: Bad for Business". A layout similiarly seen in such games, for instance, as Harvest Moon and its sequels:Harvest Moon: Save the Homeland, Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life and Harvest Moon: A Magical Melody etc.


The story, a small collection of individual segments, is divided into chapters; and as you know some bigger chapters are divided into parts.


I hope that clears up the confusion, but feel free to ask again if it is still not clear .


Thanks,


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Old 2012-01-22, 00:01   Link #4155
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Okay, happy to get that cleared up...

One final question this time -- and it's one I actually already asked: this latest chapter...is this Chapter 2? or is this Part 2 of Chapter 1....because simply writing "Part 2" implies the former which may not be totally right. I'm assuming by your words (the bit about it needing to be 'longer'), that it's the latter though -- that this is simply Part 2 of Chapter 1, and not actually Chapter 2 or, gasp, the second part of the story as a whole (your words about envisioning the story originally as a two-parter.....made me think actually that you the story originally has only having two parts, which is extremely short ).

I can't believe something so easy as this is confusing me....then again, considering how little else I'm critiquing in your story, this is actually alright when you think of it like that
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Old 2012-01-22, 22:25   Link #4156
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Hi again, Shiek


That is entirely okay, and I am glad I could help. Though, I do understand your frustration; my own fault as I sometimes do employ that tangled system of chapters, parts etc.


Well, regarding the current story, SC: BfB, I can say that this part 2 is effectively chapter 2; not part 2 of chapter 1.


I envisioned SC: BfB as a beginning and middle, then middle and end story - essentially two chapters for what is a shorter story. But, due to certain factors, I decided to make it a three chapter (part) story to be presented here .


Also, to preclude any future troubles here, I have decided that stories will be divided up by chapters; with sub-chapters being called parts.


Thus, in a future multi-part story, we could have three chapters but also one such chapter divided into two parts or more. Admittedly, I will try to avoid the latter in that respect .


I hope that clarifies things for you, and please feel to voice any further questions too .


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Old 2012-01-23, 01:20   Link #4157
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Mr.Bulletin-board man is back

Blue....no offense, but it looks like you are just confusing yourself :heh;;

I mean, you said i was wrong, but then here ("Also, to preclude any future troubles here, I have decided that stories will be divided up by chapters; with sub-chapters being called parts."), so whatever the case, it looks like you changed your mind to what I basically said .

Quote:
Thus, in a future multi-part story, we could have three chapters but also one such chapter divided into two parts or more. Admittedly, I will try to avoid the latter in that respect .
.....Blue; you've already done that with the original SC story; every chapter was called a chapter; and Chapter 5, was so long and exciting, that you cut it up into two parts and rightly called them Part 1 and 2.

Their is nothing complicated about it; it's certainly more conventional, and what you did in the last story which may have been what I was thinking on -- I think in part though, what may have thrown me off is your words that, this new story, is actually extremely short -- I mean, your words imply that you literally envisioned it as a story with a beginning, middle and end - with a chapter, now 3, dedicated to each part: beginning, middle and end; short, but longer then what you say you had in mind before - where two chapters would cover the both halves entirely.

That seems to be what you are saying anyway, if I'm not mistaken.

I think I'm done on this subject at any rate.....I could be still wrong, but I don't mind anymore - if nothing else, it will be another thing that I brought up that I pushed to the side....my biggest concern with your works is simply to enjoy the ride and that's what I'm gonna do; nevermind nitpicking about the chapter labelling .
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Old 2012-01-24, 11:03   Link #4158
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Yes, with cape and all .


Still, yes, you do have a point and I may have gotten a little mixed up but I am happy you approve of the labeling approach.


In regards to the last issue of the story length, you would be right in that I did originally consider this as a very short story, and admittedly it does remain short too, though I initally considered this as a two part project. Upon reflection, I did decide to extend it to three, as it seemed more balanced and would allow me to tie things up without overly compacting part 2; considering that part 1 was quite short by past standards .


In all, I am glad we have, hopefully, resolved that and that you approve of the tale told, so far, but hopefully still feel free to critique things as they come .


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