Dating

[Sumeragi]

Originally Posted by Decagon

I'm a bit lost on dating. What do women perceive as signals that a guy is looking to start a romantic relationship and not just continue a friendship? I've been told that I'm like a brother, a father (by someone older than me, even), a very nice guy, but I haven't been able to ford that river of just friends. How much should I chalk to polite rejection through feigned ignorance and how much to my own ineptitude?

Depends on the girl. However, given my sexuality, I'll let other's answer this more clearly.

[Kafriel]

Originally Posted by Decagon

I'm a bit lost on dating. What do women perceive as signals that a guy is looking to start a romantic relationship and not just continue a friendship? I've been told that I'm like a brother, a father (by someone older than me, even), a very nice guy, but I haven't been able to ford that river of just friends. How much should I chalk to polite rejection through feigned ignorance and how much to my own ineptitude?

Depends on the person, as well as the people who influence said person; if she is used to having around her people who can express themselves more than necessary, she won't take a hint even if you tell her in the face "I want us to go on a very romantic date, just the two of us". This actually happened, fortunately not to me...
Now, if you have any reason to believe that you're being kindly rejected, but are not too sure about it, you can try again, maybe you'll get a different answer. If by ineptitude you mean inability to express yourself, I don't know how you approach others, so I can't tell how far that goes...but remember, people love having friends, but know that relationships have ups and downs, so if you want to start a romantic relationship with someone you know, don't wait too long to ask them out, otherwise you will become a part in their daily or weekly life that they wouldn't want to miss.

[Flinch]

There always are the exception of when you're in the friend zone for long enough, the friend zone tends to move farther from your current position. It is the exception, though.

[King Lycan]

Its not very hard to get out of the friend zone as people think it is

[HasuMasu]

Its not very hard to get out of the friend zone as people think it is

really? that would've been useful info to me like, 2 years ago i guess

[luniz]

Depends on your age too, the older you are, the easier to move out of the friends zone (mostly via drunken hookups). However if you're told you're like a father that's a bad sign. That means you're overprotective and/or overbearing and women generally don't like that. You will have more luck if you can share interests/experiences more as equals, rather than trying to impress her.

[Flinch]

Originally Posted by Da_Box

oh regrets, how i loath thee

Then don't regret them. Do everything to the best of your ability. Knowing that your best wasn't good enough is a lot more comforting than mulling over all the possibilities again and again.

[Samari]

You could always grab her ass. The direct approach. Just kidding.

[HasuMasu]

Originally Posted by Samari

You could always grab her ass. The direct approach. Just kidding.

curious, doe that ever work?

[Khu]

I'm tempted to say no, but it actually probably does. o_o;

(then again, I hug people and they don't seem to mind...then again, it's winter, and I'm apparently warm and cuddly...^^; )

[HasuMasu]

Originally Posted by Khu

I'm tempted to say no, but it actually probably does. o_o;

(then again, I hug people and they don't seem to mind...then again, it's winter, and I'm apparently warm and cuddly...^^; )

hugging random people on the street works!!!???

but only during winter!!!????

then i better move to a country with winter dammit!!!!

jk

[Tsuyoshi]

Just a question of curiosity, and I won't give my opinion here just yet (Kaze, if you see this, you already know what I think of this )

What's everyone's standpoint on dating your cousin given that they were third degree or below? (i.e. legal)

[Ascaloth]

Originally Posted by Tsuyoshi

Just a question of curiosity, and I won't give my opinion here just yet (Kaze, if you see this, you already know what I think of this )

What's everyone's standpoint on dating your cousin given that they were third degree or below? (i.e. legal)

Well at that point, it's about the same as dating some random broad off the street, yes?

[Tsuyoshi]

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

Well at that point, it's about the same as dating some random broad off the street, yes?

In my case, we've known each other since we were very little, and my family's always been close with hers, particularly since they're....well....family So you're saying it'd be no different from dating a childhood friend, no?

[Ascaloth]

Originally Posted by Tsuyoshi

In my case, we've known each other since we were very little, and my family's always been close with hers, particularly since they're....well....family So you're saying it'd be no different from dating a childhood friend, no?

Ah, ha. Yeah, I'd say that's pretty much how it is, and if you have any sort of queasy feeling about it, well, we all know where that one likely came from.

[DonQuigleone]

I don't really see the attraction in going out with a girl you've known from childhood, regardless of relation. The whole westermarck thing holds true.

On the other hand, there's no hard reason not to, incest has no big effect at that level of relatedness (except when repeated several times over successive generations) so if you're both okay with it I see no reason not to...

That would even apply if you were first or second cousins too.

[Kafriel]

Originally Posted by Tsuyoshi

In my case, we've known each other since we were very little, and my family's always been close with hers, particularly since they're....well....family So you're saying it'd be no different from dating a childhood friend, no?

It really depends on how much you view her as family...I, for one, would never even think of dating my cousins, because despite all the good fun and happy nights out, I can't think of them as anything but friends and family.

[Samari]

Originally Posted by Da_Box

curious, doe that ever work?

99% of the time no.

Well, it's right out of the blue and you don't know her that well. If it's a girl you might be flirting with and the feeling is mutual or whatever...then a lot of girls may not have an issue with it. But really, you'd pretty much have to already be close to the point that you guys would be dating to pull off such a gesture. I guess it would be like "closing the case" after the "mission was accomplished".

Originally Posted by DonQuigleone

I don't really see the attraction in going out with a girl you've known from childhood, regardless of relation. The whole westermarck thing holds true.

On the other hand, there's no hard reason not to, incest has no big effect at that level of relatedness (except when repeated several times over successive generations) so if you're both okay with it I see no reason not to...

That would even apply if you were first or second cousins too.

Eww. I could never, ever date someone I was related to.

[Sumeragi]

Originally Posted by Tsuyoshi

What's everyone's standpoint on dating your cousin given that they were third degree or below? (i.e. legal)

Notwithstanding the fact that there are some countries that allow marriages between closer relations..... I'm engaged to my second cousin.

[Flinch]

Originally Posted by Tsuyoshi

What's everyone's standpoint on dating your cousin given that they were third degree or below? (i.e. legal)

I guess I might be one of the odd ones here if I think there's nothing wrong with dating one's cousin. If two people genuinely love each other, who's place is it to tell them it's inherently wrong? Guess I'm just really open-minded about these things.

Originally Posted by Tsuyoshi

In my case, we've known each other since we were very little, and my family's always been close with hers, particularly since they're....well....family So you're saying it'd be no different from dating a childhood friend, no?

In response to that, I did go out with one of my childhood friends after senior year for about a year and a half. Even though it's over, there aren't any hard feelings and we're still both extremely close. As long as you're close to them to begin with, it shouldn't be too much of a problem (results may vary).