Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[panzerfan]

@Keroko: there's no way for it to be a total carbon copy. I am certain that you can talk of the central themes and follow the general sum of paths without issue. An anime-like progression will simplify that process. At any rate, would you be able to imagine Deed and Otto to actually talk to the delinquent Teana just like? I mentally see bouts of awkward silence in front of Teana while they stare at the person that gave those two a beating a few years back!

(come to think of it, it makes for decent comedy material as they observe the oddities of Subaru's comrade)

[Sheba]

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

And of all the actors they could have picked to play the pregnant man, they picked Arnold

It may not have been the greatest movie starring Arnie, but damn it was silly and kinda fun.

[Keroko]

Well, actually Otto and Deed have become much more talkative in SSX.

Anyway, as it stands Sein and Wendi aren't really fit in their roles either. I noted Otto because she is one of the more shy ones among the numbers. Well, her and Nove, but I think we can safely say that Nove would make a really bad Ryou.

[panzerfan]

Well, it's most certainly not too late at this point to replace all sein and wendi with otto and deed. I am not sure how their mentality will develop though. Whatever it is, this is already going to make S1 ep 18's lunch showdown pretty much of hell on earth if we add even moar competing 'numbers' sitting at that table staring at Tomoy... Teana. There will be shitstorm by the very end of that episode too given that casting.

EDIT1: I thought about it even more, and here be a radical solution and give Cinque the role of Ryou, then leave wendi be. There's no perfect fit of personality anyways, so why not let the story tell itself and given how that these numbers are under one same roof supposedly, things can get really hectic when the issue of the fight to be the chosen path arises.

[BPHaru]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Spoiler for Vampire!Fate pt.2 (Nanoha):

I awoke with a start when I felt cold water being doused on my head. Despite the water pooling around my face I couldn't quite seem to find the energy to lift my cheek off of the floor. My eyes saw nothing but a clean white floor spanning in front of me leading to the feet of what seemed to be someone wearing crystaline armor that held a pinkish-red tint to it.

"Get up." A female voice demanded of me. When I didn't do as requested I cried out as her foot connected with my side to flip me onto my back. The attack probably wouldn't have hurt many people too badly but I felt the spot stinging and tears came to my eyes from the pain. My body was too weak as it was, and right now I desperately needed my medicine.

"I don't think she is able to." An almost metallic voice stated simply.

"Shut up." The first voice demanded and I felt my hair being grabbed. After a twist I was holstered up and throw against a wall back first. I cried out again and leaned forward, weakly coughing blood while trying to breathe.

"She is hurt, she needs medical attention." The second female voice spoke again and I tried to weakly look up to see who the nicer person was. The only other person in the room was a girl wearing a quite revealing set of armor. Light red crystal covered her joints and a white material covered the rest of herself in a short miniskirt and open jacket. Her breasts were supported by a matching blue bra and what seemed to be panty sides were lining her hips.

"I said shut up, you worthless piece of scrap. Just because you can think doesn't mean you can tell me what to do." The woman spoke to the other that I couldn't see and I tried my best to look at her so I wouldn't get hit again. "Stop crying, dammit." She reared back to strike me but stopped before her open palm made contact. "damn it, it you stop my motions one more time I'll destroy your mainframe and format you!" The hand moved again and I got a lighter slap than I had anticipated.

"Where... Am I?" My throat stung and my lungs were stinging along with most of my body.

"That doesn't matter. I want to know what your girlfriend's weakness is, and you're going to tell me."

I tried to rack my brain with something to say but instead I found myself grabbed and lifted up in the air, back pressing against the wall and hand around my neck. "I.. can't breathe..." I gasped out desperately for air and then saw a face in front of mine. Dark green eyes were staring at me, piercing into me so hard I could actually feel my body shiver from it. The hand let me go and I landed on my feet before collapsing yet again.

"Che, this girl is pathetic!"

"She must have something wrong with her body. I suggest leaving her alone or no information will be obtained."

I groaned against my will and hugged myself, shaking as the female knelt down in front of me. Against my will I opened my eyes again to look at her and felt tears running down my cheeks. I wanted to say something but I was so scared my mouth wouldn't open. She, on the other hand, smirked at me and spoke smoothly. "Unfortunately for you, I don't like listening to my partner." She stood up fully and flexed her hand. "Strike Flame."

"Command denied."

"Back talk me again and I swear to the gods that I'll destroy you! Now, Strike Flame!"

I hugged myself tighter and chocked on my tears as I saw a long line of red energy come from the girl's hand. "I'm sorry," the other voice told me softly.

Spoiler for Vampire!Fate pt.3 (Nanoha):

~**~

When I awoke again I felt the pain come back to me all at once. My body ached with every heartbeat and I knew that if my body could support itself I would be throwing up right now. Unfortunately all I could do was lay on the ground where I was and pray to pass out again. When I realized that I wouldn't be able to go under again, I opened my eyes weakly. There was blood on the floor, staining the clean white surface. My vision was flashing red and loud sounds were all around me.

Slowly, I closed my eyes again and took a deep breath. I don't know how long I layed on the floor but when my body was gently lifted to be cradled I suddenly felt a surge of energy come into me from the nice feeling. I could swear I heard my name being called and I opened my eyes to see the hazy face of Subaru above me.

"Oh thank god," she gasped out in worry. "I was scared they killed you."

"Subaru..." I winced at the feeling of my voice moving through my throat and had to cough. "What's...going on?"

"Shh, don't talk. Fate sent me to get you." She lifted me up to carry and my head fell to the side. The sight before me made my world stop for several seconds. A body, the female from before, was dead... torn apart... My body lurched and I almost fell from the arms holding me as I threw up, both from the sight and the movement happening. I closed my eyes but the vision was still there... blood everywhere... ripped apart...

"Nanoha! Are you okay!?"

I panted, gasping for air as saliva dripped from my lips, leaning strands behind them. It was then that I noticed that the flashing red wasn't from my eyes but from an alarm light running above the room. Another loud noise came and I recognized it as an explosion this time. "What...?"

"Let's go. I have to get you out of here. Can you stand?"

I was so confused. "N-no..."

"Dammit..." Subaru lifted me again and I looked involuntarily at the mess on the wall and floor, catching sight of a small red orb that was laying not far from it. The words 'I'm sorry' were repeating on it over and over, forming one word at a time in a scrolling sequence.

Just because you can think doesn't mean you can tell me what to do.

"Subaru..." She looked at me and I weakly pointed at the gem. "Get that... Please..."

"Okay," Subaru carried me to the gem and grabbed it, handing the sphere over to me. "Now rest, we're getting out of here."

"Okay..." I clutched the orb in my palm and felt a voice enter my head...

I can't believe I almost missed this...

Great job as always, it seems like Fate is the responsible of all that mess, and now that Nanoha got RH I bet you have plans of letting her join Fate in the near future. It's good that she's safe now. Also the plot is becoming more interesting.

Cuídense y sigan sonriendo

[DezoPenguin]

*slowly pokes the plot along with a stick*

Spoiler for Stahlkönigin--Chapter 11:

Verdance was one of the more unlovely cities on Midchilda. An industrial center, it lacked the gleaming, ultra-modern style of Cranagan or the old-world elegance of the Belkan Autonomous Zone. Plants for processing, refining, or manufacturing were common, and while the magitech base for operation made the city's industry function cleanly and efficiently, there was a brute functionality to the design that many outsiders found mechanistically oppressive.

Bart Pacer figured that it suited him just fine.

He hadn't wanted to come halfway across the planet, mind you. Some things, though, required the personal touch; he had to agree with Sonoma on that point. This was the trickiest part of the smuggling operation apart from getting the Nest off Jarentil--and how sweet was it that the JFP had ended up being their best ally in pulling that off!--and he wanted to be on hand to prevent slip-ups.

Not that Pacer anticipated anything going wrong. He'd planned things out carefully with his various transport contacts, making sure that they were reliable. It was a little more complex than the usual smuggling run, but not so much that it hadn't been done before. And the added links had proven useful in shaking off the Enforcers from their trail.

Now it was just a matter of getting the container off the Lagoon, through customs, and onto the rail system. In two days, it would be in Cranagan. Simplicity itself.

"Hey, Bart."

Pacer grinned as he saw the uniformed woman approaching. Her green uniform looked faded in the steel-gray dawn, stripped free of bright color like everything else in the city.

"Callie."

Agent Packard, Midchilda Customs Service, returned his grin. Customs was a matter of local administration, not TSAB, though there was plenty of overlapping jurisdiction more interesting to lawyers than ordinary citizens. The point was, an experienced courier like Pacer had to know who was available for what, and who had their hand out for extra retirement contributions.

"Nice evening," she said. "What've you got for me?"

"Industrial parts," he told her. "Client's in a big rush to get started, but just had to get delivery on the cheap." He sighed. "Ask me, he should've just bought from a Mid manufacturer and saved most of the hassle. But then, most of those folks figure time and money are completely different things."

He reached for a pack of cigarettes and lit up, the pale glow at the coffin-nail's tip a bright spot in the gloom of the shipping yard.

"Guess I shouldn't complain. I mean, hey, it's more business for me, right? Not my fault if a guy being dumb puts more cash into my pocket."

"Only way to think of it," Packard agreed. She was around forty, with shoulder-length blonde hair and sharp features. She'd been pretty twenty years ago, Pacer guessed, but time and trouble had thinned her out to emphasize the angles of nose and chin while coarsening the skin. He didn't know if it was some personal problem (family? medical bills? loan payments?) that had first made her willing to look the other way on the job, or if she was just greedy by nature. Sonoma, he thought, would have known; their leader liked to make a psychological study of people on a regular basis, a matter of routine. Pacer was admittedly more casual about it. If he knew that he could get someone to do what he wanted, and how he could make it happen, the why usually didn't interest him.

"Shipment came in on the Lagoon yesterday afternoon," Pacer said. "Owner's name is Peregrine Technical Ltd. I need it to be on the 8:18 rail freight to Menador today or my rump's gonna be in a sling."

Packard touched her belt-mounted sub-Device to make the port transit logs open up on a screen before her. She searched with practiced ease, soon calling up the record of standard shipping container No. 07836A29L. The details of weight, contents, and other manifest information popped right up. Of course, none of it was true except for the weight and what ship had brought it in; Pacer figured that humanity had invented the first forged manifest the day after it had invented the shipping crate.

"This one yours?" she asked.

"Yep."

"Let's go take a look, then, and see what we can do to make your client happy."

They walked through the cargo yard side by side, their steps nearly silent in the soft-soled boots both wore for traction on often-slick pavement and the metal interiors of cargo containers. The stacks were like the rest of Verdance: some containers brand-new with fresh paint, others crusted with rust, but all of them solid and functional, the oblong shapes standardized for use in spacecraft, sea, rail, or road travel. There was nothing aesthetic or poetic about them, but they still made Pacer think of old ghosts, of deaths by violence, some at his own hands. It hadn't been a peaceful life, these past twenty years. But then again, what chance had he had, once the TSAB-backed government troops had been done ruining everything he held dear.

"That's you, third from the bottom," Packard said, checking her screen. Pacer recognized the container's identifying marks. "I'm sorry; I have to scan it for mass-weapon explosive compounds."

Pacer waved it off.

"Go ahead." There wasn't anything in the container that would show up on that kind of scan anyway.

Packard reconfigured her screen, and a pale gold aura bathed the container for thirty seconds, a scrying cast built into the sub-Device. This was where the sharp limits of the customs service's equipment helped. A true scrying mage would have gathered all kinds of information about the container and the Nest within, but Packard's toy was limited to doing what was asked of it and now more.

"Looks like you're clear. Now, let's see, I just need to make a visual inspection and check the clearance documents." Technically, in order to give expedited clearance in accordance with the law, Customs was supposed to open up the container and look inside. Pacer took a thick envelope out of a pocket and handed it over. Hard currency still had its place in the world and probably always would, so long as there were transactions where the link between payer and payee wasn't something either wanted to acknowledge.

Packard opened the envelope and riffed through the contents.

"I hope your visual inspection was satisfactory?" Pacer said, grinning faintly.

"I completely approve of what I saw." She put the money away, then noted her approval on the screen. With that taken care of, the container would automatically be taken to the rail freight depot and loaded onto the train later in the morning. Almost, he thought. We're almost there. If Sonoma can get us what we need...

"Hey, what are you two doing!" a sharp voice barked. There was a hint of a squeak in the cry, though, suggesting nervousness. That worried Pacer. The nervous were unpredictable. They made mistakes.

Next to him, Packard made a little growling noise deep in her throat, then turned.

"Agent DeSoto." Her voice sounded more exasperated than angry. "Exactly what does your fresh-scrubbed, two-weeks-on-the-job nose think it's sticking itself into?"

"Agent Packard?" Surprise replaced nervousness. Pacer turned his head just enough to see a slim, dark-haired man--boy, really, no older than twenty--dressed in a Customs Service uniform that was so new it almost sparkled even in the pale dawn. "What's going on? Is this man trespassing?"

Packard sighed.

"No, DeSoto, he isn't trespassing."

"But this area is supposed to be off-limits to everyone but the Customs Service and the shipyard personnel, and he hasn't got a dockworker's badge."

Pacer wondered how many dockworkers actually wore their ID tags while they were doing actual work. In his experience, that answer was "not a hell of a lot."

"He's a shipper, DeSoto, concerned about his shipment. I've just finished expediting his clearance for it."

"Oh, okay...but hey, there's no crane around here. You couldn't have gotten the container down for inspection."

Sharp eyes for someone new and stupid, Pacer thought. Which is too bad for him.

Packard kept on trying to brazen it out, which wasn't necessarily such a bad plan.

"For Heaven's sake, DeSoto, I'm doing my job here. Maybe when you've spent more than a month on it you'll realize that it doesn't all work like it's written up in the training manuals if we actually want to move cargo." There was genuine feeling there, not just the fear at being caught out. Kids with theoretical knowledge and no experience were the bane of veterans in every profession.

"You're not supposed to skip the visual inspection. Most contraband won't show up on the scans, and if a release is being expedited it's important to--" He broke off, eyes widening with the realization. "You--this--you didn't inspect it because there is contraband, didn't you?" His hand dropped to his hip for the grip of his ANT. "You're deliberately letting this man smuggle something into or out of the port! That's why he's here! He's giving you some kind of bribe!"

"What the hell? Go home, kid; your little cops-and-robbers fantasies aren't impressing anyone."

"No! I'm bringing you two back in to the customs house, and we'll have his container searched. We'll find out what you're up to!"

"The boy's a regular Super Robot Ranger," Pacer said, disgusted.

"Probably still wears the underwear," Packard agreed.

"Come on, let's go!" He had his ANT out, pointing towards them with a surprisingly steady hand. Full of himself and wet behind the ears he might be, but he was at least maintaining some level of composure in a high-stress situation.

Pacer almost felt sorry for him.

"You're kidding, right?" he said. "You seriously expect us to just stroll back in with you?" He brushed his hand against his vest pocket, palming an item the size and shape of a playing card. He spun it between his fingers and he was suddenly holding a two-foot "magic wand."

DeSoto fired his weapon, but Pacer stopped it easily with a Defenser barrier. ANTs were fine non-lethal weapons to use against F-rank nulls, but not a serious threat against a competent mage.

Pacer pointed the tip of his Storage Device at the young agent. DeSoto fumbled with his belt, belatedly realizing that he needed to call for backup.

"Strike down the foe before me!" Pacer incanted. "Flash Bolt!"

A surge of bright green light snapped from the top of the device to DeSoto's body; he crumpled to the pavement unconscious.

"You know what has to happen now, right?" he said to Packard. "The kid's a witness."

She looked almost as green as the faded color of her uniform, but she nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, I know."

"Accident's the best way. Rookie mistake, unstable equipment, maybe."

Packard nodded again.

"Easy to see how it could happen," she agreed. She was a practical woman, quickly coming to terms with what had to be done. Or maybe just an easily corrupted one. Bribery, smuggling...and now murder?

Someone so false didn't make for a reliable ally unless some strong self-interest was involved, Pacer thought.

Packard evidently thought the same thing.

"Of course, two accidents on the same night wouldn't be particularly routine," she pointed out. "That kind of coincidence would make an administration check the records, maybe take a second look at the last few things a person was doing."

"Relax. I've got better ways to keep you quiet. By this time tomorrow, they'll have no chance of finding me, leaving just you to look at for corruption charges and the death of a fellow agent. Yeah, I don't think you'll be all too motivated to open your mouth."

"Just so as we understand each other."

Pacer shrugged.

"Business is business, right? Everyone wants to know where they stand. Now come on. Kid's not going to nap forever, and the morning shift's going to be on soon enough."

He gave her another sharp look, and she nodded, accepting yet another piece of practical reality. It made Pacer perversely glad, seeing the faded-out customs agent with her faded-out soul, that he still had something he believed in enough to put his neck on the line for besides just money and self-interest.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Eileen McLaren shivered. Her imprisonment wasn't cold or dank; rather it looked to be an ordinary basement, with brick walls and bare pipes and utility conduits, but to her it might as well have been the deepest, darkest hole on the planet, some medieval oubliette. The steel chain that manacled her right wrist led to a heavy staple embedded in the wall just like in some dungeon, as did the one that bound her son's ankle. It rubbed painfully at her wrist, but if she pressed her back to the wall and stretched, there was just enough length for her to be able to hold Billy's hand.

She'd spent a lot of their time doing that.

Often, the pounding beat of music could be heard. It was muffled, but even that told her how loud it truly was, louder and more forceful than from an ordinary movie system. She didn't have her watch, but it played for long hours, confirming that it was more than just from somebody's home, probably a stage or club DJ's system. Eileen didn't miss the irony of it: somewhere in the same building were people partying, celebrating, having a good time, while she and Billy were...

The music was silent now, though what that meant she didn't know. Across the room a door creaked open.

"Breakfast time for our guests," mocked the blonde woman who'd led the original kidnapping. She tossed a paper bag; it hit the concrete floor between two prisoners. At no time had anyone even approached within arms' reach of them; they took no chances.

"Please," Eileen said. "Please, for pity's sake, let me talk to my husband!"

"I don't think so. He's doing an important job for us, and we don't want him distracted."

An important job, she thought. What are they making him do? She knew that in his position he had access to sensitive data and important computer facilities. It didn't take a genius to figure out the general kind of thing they'd want from him. It made Eileen shudder. Espionage? Treason? Those were foul words, even sinful ones when one considered that the Church was a loyal supporter and key member of the TSAB.

Yet she was also a mother, and more than anything else she wanted her children to be safe, the living and the yet-unborn both. Where she'd have urged Georg to tell his superiors everything if it were only her own life at stake...

"Mom?" the boy whimpered. "Mom, are we going to be okay?"

"It's...we..." She wanted to reassure him, but the lies choked on her lops; she couldn't make herself believe them even for long enough to say them. "Pray," she finally said. "Pray to Her Majesty to keep us all safe."

Previous chapters:

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

*slowly pokes the plot along with a stick*

Spoiler for Stahlkönigin--Chapter 11:

Verdance was one of the more unlovely cities on Midchilda. An industrial center, it lacked the gleaming, ultra-modern style of Cranagan or the old-world elegance of the Belkan Autonomous Zone. Plants for processing, refining, or manufacturing were common, and while the magitech base for operation made the city's industry function cleanly and efficiently, there was a brute functionality to the design that many outsiders found mechanistically oppressive.

Bart Pacer figured that it suited him just fine.

He hadn't wanted to come halfway across the planet, mind you. Some things, though, required the personal touch; he had to agree with Sonoma on that point. This was the trickiest part of the smuggling operation apart from getting the Nest off Jarentil--and how sweet was it that the JFP had ended up being their best ally in pulling that off!--and he wanted to be on hand to prevent slip-ups.

Not that Pacer anticipated anything going wrong. He'd planned things out carefully with his various transport contacts, making sure that they were reliable. It was a little more complex than the usual smuggling run, but not so much that it hadn't been done before. And the added links had proven useful in shaking off the Enforcers from their trail.

Now it was just a matter of getting the container off the Lagoon, through customs, and onto the rail system. In two days, it would be in Cranagan. Simplicity itself.

"Hey, Bart."

Pacer grinned as he saw the uniformed woman approaching. Her green uniform looked faded in the steel-gray dawn, stripped free of bright color like everything else in the city.

"Callie."

Agent Packard, Midchilda Customs Service, returned his grin. Customs was a matter of local administration, not TSAB, though there was plenty of overlapping jurisdiction more interesting to lawyers than ordinary citizens. The point was, an experienced courier like Pacer had to know who was available for what, and who had their hand out for extra retirement contributions.

"Nice evening," she said. "What've you got for me?"

"Industrial parts," he told her. "Client's in a big rush to get started, but just had to get delivery on the cheap." He sighed. "Ask me, he should've just bought from a Mid manufacturer and saved most of the hassle. But then, most of those folks figure time and money are completely different things."

He reached for a pack of cigarettes and lit up, the pale glow at the coffin-nail's tip a bright spot in the gloom of the shipping yard.

"Guess I shouldn't complain. I mean, hey, it's more business for me, right? Not my fault if a guy being dumb puts more cash into my pocket."

"Only way to think of it," Packard agreed. She was around forty, with shoulder-length blonde hair and sharp features. She'd been pretty twenty years ago, Pacer guessed, but time and trouble had thinned her out to emphasize the angles of nose and chin while coarsening the skin. He didn't know if it was some personal problem (family? medical bills? loan payments?) that had first made her willing to look the other way on the job, or if she was just greedy by nature. Sonoma, he thought, would have known; their leader liked to make a psychological study of people on a regular basis, a matter of routine. Pacer was admittedly more casual about it. If he knew that he could get someone to do what he wanted, and how he could make it happen, the why usually didn't interest him.

"Shipment came in on the Lagoon yesterday afternoon," Pacer said. "Owner's name is Peregrine Technical Ltd. I need it to be on the 8:18 rail freight to Menador today or my rump's gonna be in a sling."

Packard touched her belt-mounted sub-Device to make the port transit logs open up on a screen before her. She searched with practiced ease, soon calling up the record of standard shipping container No. 07836A29L. The details of weight, contents, and other manifest information popped right up. Of course, none of it was true except for the weight and what ship had brought it in; Pacer figured that humanity had invented the first forged manifest the day after it had invented the shipping crate.

"This one yours?" she asked.

"Yep."

"Let's go take a look, then, and see what we can do to make your client happy."

They walked through the cargo yard side by side, their steps nearly silent in the soft-soled boots both wore for traction on often-slick pavement and the metal interiors of cargo containers. The stacks were like the rest of Verdance: some containers brand-new with fresh paint, others crusted with rust, but all of them solid and functional, the oblong shapes standardized for use in spacecraft, sea, rail, or road travel. There was nothing aesthetic or poetic about them, but they still made Pacer think of old ghosts, of deaths by violence, some at his own hands. It hadn't been a peaceful life, these past twenty years. But then again, what chance had he had, once the TSAB-backed government troops had been done ruining everything he held dear.

"That's you, third from the bottom," Packard said, checking her screen. Pacer recognized the container's identifying marks. "I'm sorry; I have to scan it for mass-weapon explosive compounds."

Pacer waved it off.

"Go ahead." There wasn't anything in the container that would show up on that kind of scan anyway.

Packard reconfigured her screen, and a pale gold aura bathed the container for thirty seconds, a scrying cast built into the sub-Device. This was where the sharp limits of the customs service's equipment helped. A true scrying mage would have gathered all kinds of information about the container and the Nest within, but Packard's toy was limited to doing what was asked of it and now more.

"Looks like you're clear. Now, let's see, I just need to make a visual inspection and check the clearance documents." Technically, in order to give expedited clearance in accordance with the law, Customs was supposed to open up the container and look inside. Pacer took a thick envelope out of a pocket and handed it over. Hard currency still had its place in the world and probably always would, so long as there were transactions where the link between payer and payee wasn't something either wanted to acknowledge.

Packard opened the envelope and riffed through the contents.

"I hope your visual inspection was satisfactory?" Pacer said, grinning faintly.

"I completely approve of what I saw." She put the money away, then noted her approval on the screen. With that taken care of, the container would automatically be taken to the rail freight depot and loaded onto the train later in the morning. Almost, he thought. We're almost there. If Sonoma can get us what we need...

"Hey, what are you two doing!" a sharp voice barked. There was a hint of a squeak in the cry, though, suggesting nervousness. That worried Pacer. The nervous were unpredictable. They made mistakes.

Next to him, Packard made a little growling noise deep in her throat, then turned.

"Agent DeSoto." Her voice sounded more exasperated than angry. "Exactly what does your fresh-scrubbed, two-weeks-on-the-job nose think it's sticking itself into?"

"Agent Packard?" Surprise replaced nervousness. Pacer turned his head just enough to see a slim, dark-haired man--boy, really, no older than twenty--dressed in a Customs Service uniform that was so new it almost sparkled even in the pale dawn. "What's going on? Is this man trespassing?"

Packard sighed.

"No, DeSoto, he isn't trespassing."

"But this area is supposed to be off-limits to everyone but the Customs Service and the shipyard personnel, and he hasn't got a dockworker's badge."

Pacer wondered how many dockworkers actually wore their ID tags while they were doing actual work. In his experience, that answer was "not a hell of a lot."

"He's a shipper, DeSoto, concerned about his shipment. I've just finished expediting his clearance for it."

"Oh, okay...but hey, there's no crane around here. You couldn't have gotten the container down for inspection."

Sharp eyes for someone new and stupid, Pacer thought. Which is too bad for him.

Packard kept on trying to brazen it out, which wasn't necessarily such a bad plan.

"For Heaven's sake, DeSoto, I'm doing my job here. Maybe when you've spent more than a month on it you'll realize that it doesn't all work like it's written up in the training manuals if we actually want to move cargo." There was genuine feeling there, not just the fear at being caught out. Kids with theoretical knowledge and no experience were the bane of veterans in every profession.

"You're not supposed to skip the visual inspection. Most contraband won't show up on the scans, and if a release is being expedited it's important to--" He broke off, eyes widening with the realization. "You--this--you didn't inspect it because there is contraband, didn't you?" His hand dropped to his hip for the grip of his ANT. "You're deliberately letting this man smuggle something into or out of the port! That's why he's here! He's giving you some kind of bribe!"

"What the hell? Go home, kid; your little cops-and-robbers fantasies aren't impressing anyone."

"No! I'm bringing you two back in to the customs house, and we'll have his container searched. We'll find out what you're up to!"

"The boy's a regular Super Robot Ranger," Pacer said, disgusted.

"Probably still wears the underwear," Packard agreed.

"Come on, let's go!" He had his ANT out, pointing towards them with a surprisingly steady hand. Full of himself and wet behind the ears he might be, but he was at least maintaining some level of composure in a high-stress situation.

Pacer almost felt sorry for him.

"You're kidding, right?" he said. "You seriously expect us to just stroll back in with you?" He brushed his hand against his vest pocket, palming an item the size and shape of a playing card. He spun it between his fingers and he was suddenly holding a two-foot "magic wand."

DeSoto fired his weapon, but Pacer stopped it easily with a Defenser barrier. ANTs were fine non-lethal weapons to use against F-rank nulls, but not a serious threat against a competent mage.

Pacer pointed the tip of his Storage Device at the young agent. DeSoto fumbled with his belt, belatedly realizing that he needed to call for backup.

"Strike down the foe before me!" Pacer incanted. "Flash Bolt!"

A surge of bright green light snapped from the top of the device to DeSoto's body; he crumpled to the pavement unconscious.

"You know what has to happen now, right?" he said to Packard. "The kid's a witness."

She looked almost as green as the faded color of her uniform, but she nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, I know."

"Accident's the best way. Rookie mistake, unstable equipment, maybe."

Packard nodded again.

"Easy to see how it could happen," she agreed. She was a practical woman, quickly coming to terms with what had to be done. Or maybe just an easily corrupted one. Bribery, smuggling...and now murder?

Someone so false didn't make for a reliable ally unless some strong self-interest was involved, Pacer thought.

Packard evidently thought the same thing.

"Of course, two accidents on the same night wouldn't be particularly routine," she pointed out. "That kind of coincidence would make an administration check the records, maybe take a second look at the last few things a person was doing."

"Relax. I've got better ways to keep you quiet. By this time tomorrow, they'll have no chance of finding me, leaving just you to look at for corruption charges and the death of a fellow agent. Yeah, I don't think you'll be all too motivated to open your mouth."

"Just so as we understand each other."

Pacer shrugged.

"Business is business, right? Everyone wants to know where they stand. Now come on. Kid's not going to nap forever, and the morning shift's going to be on soon enough."

He gave her another sharp look, and she nodded, accepting yet another piece of practical reality. It made Pacer perversely glad, seeing the faded-out customs agent with her faded-out soul, that he still had something he believed in enough to put his neck on the line for besides just money and self-interest.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Eileen McLaren shivered. Her imprisonment wasn't cold or dank; rather it looked to be an ordinary basement, with brick walls and bare pipes and utility conduits, but to her it might as well have been the deepest, darkest hole on the planet, some medieval oubliette. The steel chain that manacled her right wrist led to a heavy staple embedded in the wall just like in some dungeon, as did the one that bound her son's ankle. It rubbed painfully at her wrist, but if she pressed her back to the wall and stretched, there was just enough length for her to be able to hold Billy's hand.

She'd spent a lot of their time doing that.

Often, the pounding beat of music could be heard. It was muffled, but even that told her how loud it truly was, louder and more forceful than from an ordinary movie system. She didn't have her watch, but it played for long hours, confirming that it was more than just from somebody's home, probably a stage or club DJ's system. Eileen didn't miss the irony of it: somewhere in the same building were people partying, celebrating, having a good time, while she and Billy were...

The music was silent now, though what that meant she didn't know. Across the room a door creaked open.

"Breakfast time for our guests," mocked the blonde woman who'd led the original kidnapping. She tossed a paper bag; it hit the concrete floor between two prisoners. At no time had anyone even approached within arms' reach of them; they took no chances.

"Please," Eileen said. "Please, for pity's sake, let me talk to my husband!"

"I don't think so. He's doing an important job for us, and we don't want him distracted."

An important job, she thought. What are they making him do? She knew that in his position he had access to sensitive data and important computer facilities. It didn't take a genius to figure out the general kind of thing they'd want from him. It made Eileen shudder. Espionage? Treason? Those were foul words, even sinful ones when one considered that the Church was a loyal supporter and key member of the TSAB.

Yet she was also a mother, and more than anything else she wanted her children to be safe, the living and the yet-unborn both. Where she'd have urged Georg to tell his superiors everything if it were only her own life at stake...

"Mom?" the boy whimpered. "Mom, are we going to be okay?"

"It's...we..." She wanted to reassure him, but the lies choked on her lops; she couldn't make herself believe them even for long enough to say them. "Pray," she finally said. "Pray to Her Majesty to keep us all safe."

Previous chapters:

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10

At least your plot is moving. *gives BtBR bunny a light kick to the rump*

Still feels a little fillerish to me, but at least you're introducing the core of the baddies (I'm assuming that Packard is one of the "core" members, or at least she'll be enough of a threat on her own) and making me like them less and less the more you write them.

I feel a twinge of irony with Eileen praying that Vivio will save them. Foreshadowing, perhaps? Hmmm.

[spawnofthejudge]

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

but Packard's toy was limited to doing what was asked of it and now more.

I think you know what you meant there ^_^

I wonder if we'll see Packard again. It'd be odd if we didn't, but I think you could still get away with it. She's only a corrupt customs official, as of right now. Too bad for the kid; he was almost cool too. Oh well. Definitely still filler here, but I think the customs scene was necessary for Pacer's development. We'll certainly see, won't we?

Still really liking the story thread.

[markesellus]

Originally Posted by Lute

On a wholly different note, here's some crack for TSS (gotta keep the waifu happy, after all):

Spoiler for Red Rabbit:

How could one tell, even to one’s best friends, that the evening previous one had engaged in incestual intercourse with one’s adopted daughter while pretending that she was one’s best friend whom one secretly wished to become a lover to but never dared to voice one’s feelings for years because of the fear of losing the friendship and wrecking the relationship?

Spoiler for Author Comments:

Okay, so this is degenerating from crack to story-of-messed-up-love...

Wow, you come up with some really cracked up ideas. I wouldn't mind this turning into a story of messed up love. I mean you've got Vivio, Hayate, Vita, and potentially Fate in the future, all with Nanoha. That is seriously messed up....and intriguing.

Originally Posted by TerranReaper

Spoiler for Chapter 18:

“You have nothing to thank me for. You saved my life anyway. You know Hayate, do a little more good deed and perhaps I shall reconsider the deal we made,” Ralph said.

I've been hidden for far too long.

It looks like Hayate's managed to prove to them that she really is good. Let's hope she's not just faking it all, that would suck. That new cyborg is an ominous foe, let's see how they take her down. Welcome Back!

Originally Posted by Lute

I live to serve The Soviet Union The Shiny Sword! Yes, the run-on sentences and other aspects of the employed style were deliberate.

I call the following DWP (dribble without plot).

Spoiler for Cracked:

She would sooner drink her own urine than to press that button more often than she needed to... perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea, she mused. Taking care of two birds with one stone... it would be sterile, since if it wasn't she'd have a bladder infection, and she would definitely know painfully if she did... her thoughts did go on strange and unfathomable tangents when she was alone and unable to sleep. She dismissed these crazy ideas. Her needs weren't all that urgent.

Definitely not dribble, this has some really good ideas. I want to see more of the plot revealed! NanoHaya is always welcomed.

Originally Posted by itanshi1

Something I thought of while writing a crack AU fic. This is more canonical.

Ok, I took creative licenses and borrowed a bit from Jurassic park and another obvious movie.

Subaru and Teana on a mission together. Stuff happens, fast. :P Fate is not even in the fic, so relax.

Spoiler for Snake's Den:

She stroked the arm gently. Subaru's voice echoed in her mind, the scream that was her last. She tried futilely to call out for her. She could only think of the stories she told. The times they shared together. The mall fire was not lost on her. The ringing in her ears had dulled, but the headache was not going away.

Well that was interesting. Poor Subaru, cyborg or not, that has got to suck. Teana hanging onto her arm was so depressing, yet cute.

Originally Posted by TheShinySword

Whoo time for a one-shot thingy (It was gonna be up on FF.net but it's acting up :-/)

Lunch With Arf

Spoiler for Lunch With Arf:

Spoiler for Note:

I was writing something entirely different at first when a song on my ipod gave me all sorts of ideas. Thus the following is inspired by the song “Lunch with Gina”. It's also a slight slight AU where Zafira never fought or even saw Arf in adult human form.

“Zafira!” She happily called. Her outfit was awfully familiar though he'd never seen it as filled out in certain... chestial regions. Wait a minute if Zafira remembered correctly...

No. It couldn't be. It was true that Arf had both a fully grown form and a puppy form but it hadn't occurred to Zafira that the same could be true for her human self. But when she sat across from him with the same toothy smile it was undeniable.

“Sorry I'm late,” She picked up the menu, “Did you wait long?”

Zafira could only shake his head as all words had fled his mouth.

“Oh good I was worried you'd wait for too long and blah blah blah...” Arf started talking but Zafira could no longer hear her really, his thoughts were stuck on one thing, if lunch with Arf lasted forever it would still end too soon.

Spoiler for Afternote:

He he I invented a word :3. Poor Zaffy, Arf acts pretty obsessive in this one. But it's not really her fault, Hayate told her the best way to win a man's heart is to bug him all the time.

LOL, I can always count on you for some Zarf. I love how they called him a loli killer. All the kids gotta love manly wolf man Zafira! I like his ringtone. The ending line was insanely cute though. Also, Chestial?

Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge

Well, I guess it's appropriate to post a chapter on Nanoha's birthday ^_^

The Many Masters of the Malevolent Manuscript

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six

Spoiler for Part Seven: Discovery:

I sense one I think I can take quickly enough, Zafira interjected, possibly unaware of the short conversation between his companions. I’ll report when I need the Book.

Fight with the Saint’s blessing, Shamal said, and they all felt Zafira’s presence in the link fade to idle. The link between them was always there, though they could dismiss it to a degree that they didn’t have to think about it when they needed to focus on something else and not be disturbed. If any of the rest of them wanted to reach Zafira now, all they had to do was send a particularly strong jolt with their message, and he would get it. Though they would risk having him get it at an… inopportune time.

I’ve got one, Signum said. She said no more, and immediately faded from the link.

Fight with the Saint’s blessing, Shamal said anyway, though only Vita could hear her.

We will, Vita said along the link, as she honed in on a possible candidate for her own target. This is the easy part. Nobody’s expecting us now. Aha! A perfect candidate. I’ve got one too. Keep alert, Shamal.

Fight with the Saint’s blessing.

Again, very interesting to see the minds of the Wolkenritter. I like how Shamal says "Fight with the Saint’s blessing" it's really sweet. The last line gets a bit repetitive with all the masters in it. You might just want to say: I think the one that masters us will be the right Master.

Originally Posted by panzerfan

This was meant to be a little bit of a joke, but the people in fanfic_lounge suggests that I post it here and actually work on it more. As such, here's what I have on... it's arguably crack.

~CLANNANOHA~

Spoiler for On the sloped road where cherry blossoms flutter, part 1:

“They don’t get tired of doing that every day, do they?”
“Teana! STOP WATCHING AND HELP ME!”
“Subaru, I will get infected by your idiocy if I do.”
Teana responded. All the things that the hapless Suburu can say is “you’re so heartless” before the other cadets start to toss her about in a human wave while she spins in circle.
A red doggie walks in to the area, just in time to witness an individual picking up Subaru like a barrel and hurling her into the air then give her a kick that sends her skyward, and then these cadets proceeded to pass Subaru like a ball to one another in a line, and only to finish it all off with a tackle to send her onto the ground.
“Shut up-“
The dog transformed into a humanoid and ran towards the cadets. She loudly proclaims “Break it up already!” as she charges across the corridor of the dorm. This sends the cadets flying.
“For crying out loud… I’m the one that has to deal with the complaints from the orderlys.”
“Dorm supervisor sounds like a hard job.” Teana responded.
“Arf… come save me earlier please…” Subaru crawls up to the side of the red-haired familiar.

This is something of epicness! I can't wait to what will happen in this cracky little crossover. It's interesting that Teana takes the lead instead of the usual Nanoha, Fate, and (sometimes) Hayate.

Originally Posted by Satashi

Spoiler for Vampire!Fate pt.2 (Nanoha):

"I said shut up, you worthless piece of scrap. Just because you can think doesn't mean you can tell me what to do." The woman spoke to the other that I couldn't see and I tried my best to look at her so I wouldn't get hit again. "Stop crying, dammit." She reared back to strike me but stopped before her open palm made contact. "damn it, it you stop my motions one more time I'll destroy your mainframe and format you!"

Spoiler for Vampire!Fate pt.3 (Nanoha):

"Shh, don't talk. Fate sent me to get you." She lifted me up to carry and my head fell to the side. The sight before me made my world stop for several seconds. A body, the female from before, was dead... torn apart... My body lurched and I almost fell from the arms holding me as I threw up, both from the sight and the movement happening. I closed my eyes but the vision was still there... blood everywhere... ripped apart...

Yep, totally Raising Heart. I knew it when I read that line about thinking but not being able to boss her around. Now, I wonder how Nanoha will react when she finds out who did that to the body.... At least she's rescued now!

Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge

Best picture ever.

Originally Posted by panzerfan

I am more than open to suggestions on how to proceed. I don't really want to get way carried off with nothing but crack afterall.

Spoiler for On the sloped road where cherry blossoms flutter, part 2.:

“Miss Lanster, you’ll be late tomorrow.”
Teana goes into a freefall onto the ground upon hearing this announcement then she shouts back with “are you ridiculing me?!”
“That’s how the cards come out! I think this is how this sort of fortune-telling works.”
Sein answers with a few bewildered onlookers staring at the two of them.
“Think you say..?”
Sein completes her case. “On the way to tomorrow’s review, you’ll have a romantic meeting with somebody possessing a kind heart, forget about how much time has passed and therefore be late.”
“That’s rather detailed…” Teana seems visibly surprised, prompting yet another near-immediate response from Sein. “A… a maiden’s inspiration.”

Romantic meetings! Alright. Interesting characterizations, though I'm not complaining. Can't wait to see what you'll do with the rest of the cast.

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

*slowly pokes the plot along with a stick*

Spoiler for Stahlkönigin--Chapter 11:

"You know what has to happen now, right?" he said to Packard. "The kid's a witness."

She looked almost as green as the faded color of her uniform, but she nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, I know."

"Accident's the best way. Rookie mistake, unstable equipment, maybe."

Packard nodded again.

"Easy to see how it could happen," she agreed. She was a practical woman, quickly coming to terms with what had to be done. Or maybe just an easily corrupted one. Bribery, smuggling...and now murder?

Someone so false didn't make for a reliable ally unless some strong self-interest was involved, Pacer thought.

Packard evidently thought the same thing.

Kind of a filler, but the plot is moving albeit slowly. Important characterization with Pacer and with Packard. She's kind of a mystery character, but we seem to know a lot of thing's about her. I also though about Eileen's line. I do like her in the respect that she doesn't try to bullshit. Vivio to the rescue? But how?

@Thread: Thanks for all the comments on my short little fic. It was a weird week. Also for those of you who have a time difference that's ahead of me: HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY! Don't get pinched, wear green!

[Jimmy C]

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

*slowly pokes the plot along with a stick*

You're going to need more than a stick if you want to gain momentum before Force arrives. Like a racecar perhaps.
I hope you can manage it, I really do, even if it means writing a whole chapter a day until you're done.

Verdance was one of the more unlovely cities on Midchilda.

A thought, not too important, but you had Mid's transport and logistics method laid out similar to Earth's. That is, standardized shipping containers. That means, they can layout their facilities the same way we do: Manufacturing is placed a good distance from ports. That lets the factory be built on cheaper land. This port Pacer is visiting should be on the outskirts of the city at the closest. It doesn't change a thing you wrote, however.

In two days, it would be in Cranagan. Simplicity itself.

If it was just one battle, it seems you could end it within a week, story time. But something tells me you're aiming for more than that, yes?

"Looks like you're clear. Now, let's see, I just need to make a visual inspection and check the clearance documents."

A thought from a book I read about shipping containers, if you opened one up and saw a wall of boxes stacked from floor-to-celling marked "MACHINE PARTS" are you even going to pull them out to verify that that's all there is in the container? That seems to be a common cover for container-based smuggling.

"Of course, two accidents on the same night wouldn't be particularly routine,"

Pacer could add, "But two people dying in the same accident isn't so troublesome..."

[TheShinySword]

Originally Posted by markesellus

LOL, I can always count on you for some Zarf. I love how they called him a loli killer. All the kids gotta love manly wolf man Zafira! I like his ringtone. The ending line was insanely cute though. Also, Chestial?

Enough Heh's D: (you look like you ran a marathon) . Chestial is the bestest word ever that I made up :3. Refering to the Chest region when the word chest is just too stuffy (try saying it out loud it's fun)

[LoweGear]

Chestial Being?

*is shot by large particle beam*

[Sheba]

Originally Posted by LoweGear

Chestial Being?

*is shot by large particle beam*

Facehuggers and chestbursters ahoy.

[LoweGear]

Don't forget the abdominal mouth of doom...

*shivers then curses John Carpenter for that scene*

[NorthernFallout]

Originally Posted by LoweGear

Don't forget the abdominal mouth of doom...

*shivers then curses John Carpenter for that scene*

*has wonderful flashbacks while laughing during that scene*

[Alavon]

Just a short story that popped into my head after a heated-*coughs* friendly argument in school...

Spoiler for The Baby Devil:

The Baby Devil
By: Alavon

Nanoha could never have been more prouder. Her oldest child, Vivio, was finally graduating from Officer Academy with the highest honors that can be acheived there. Having been personally train by everyone (by everyone, meaning, Fate, herself, Yuuno, Subaru, Vita, just to name a few), it was only to be expected (says Vita). As a result, she was chosen to speak in front of the crowd as the represenative for her class.

Smiling, Nanoha took out the Camcoder and pressed the 'on' button. She wanted her parents to see their granddaughter at her proudest moment...

Vivio slowly marched towards the podium with a serious face but Nanoha knew better. Underneath that military mask, Vivio was smiling from happiness and only her closest relatives knew that. My baby girl all grown up...

***

"So, Captain Takamachi..."

"Hm?" Nanoha looked over her glass.

"Can you believe that Second Lt. Vivio [Takamachi] is leaving your house for good?"

Nanoha choked on her drink. Coughing, she replied, "Vivio is only 16 years old!"

The head of the Academy, General Verus Muslay, smirked.

"How old were you when you moved out of your parents house?"

Nanoha paled.

Muslay chuckled lightly. He patted Nanoha's shoulder and walked of to congraluate other parents for their kids accomplishment.

Nanoha ran a hand through her hair, panic gripping her. She wouldn't leave...would she?

"Hey, Nanoha!" She turned around and smiled slightly. Vita smiled in return.

"Hey, Vita. Everything going well?"

Vita raised an eyebrow. "That's my line." Nanoha looked at her and sighed. She may as well...

"I'm just worried that Vivio would leave me."

Vita burst into laughter.

Nanoha blinked. "Wha-what's so funny?"

When Vita recovered from her laughing fit, she replied, "Nanoha, you worry too much. Do you really think Vivio would just leave?"

"No but-"

"That's that. Besides, even if she does, you still have one more left."

And sure enough, as if on cue, Yukari Takamachi, Nanoha's youngest daughter, peeked around Vita's legs. She looked exactly like her mother. Her brunette colored hair was tied up to the side and her azure eyes looked up at Nanoha. She was only three years old.

Nanoha smiled gently and picked her up, noticing that Yukari was wearing a flight instructer uniform. Nanoha sighed. She never really understood Hayate's obsession for cosplaying...

"Hayate's at it again, huh?" said Nanoha, brushing a strand of hair from her daughters face.

"Yup. You should have seen Sadame. He wore an Enforcer uniform and Hayate almost made him wear a skirt but Fate threw a fit over it. I think Fate still hasn't got over the mood swings."

Nanoha chuckled but stop when she felt a gentle tug on her shirt.

"What is it, Yukari?" asked Nanoha, sweetly.

"Why Mama sad?"

"Mama is not sad."

Yukari frown and said, "Liar, liar, hams on wire."

"It's...never mind." Nanoha placed Yukari back on the ground and as soon as her little feet touched the ground, she ran of. Nanoha was about to run after her but Vita held her back.

"Don't worry. Zafira is watching her."

Nanoha nodded.

"I know this sounds harsh but sometimes I think she's not my daughter."

Vita looked up, an incredulous look plastered on her face.

"Why you say that?"

"The way she acts. She's always quiet and hardly ever makes a sound but when she does, they are not that comforting. Vivio is like the complete opposite of her. Sometimes Vivio seem more like my real daughter than does my own biological daughter."

Vita was silent for a while but then she shook her head.

"Nanoha...she is definitely your daughter. You are only thinking this way because Vivio is growing up and you don't want her to leave."

"Yeah? Well tell me one thing that Yukari has that shows that she's my daughter? And don't say 'she looks like you' because that won't cut it."

Vita was at a loss for words. She looked around to see if someone would save her from this pickle but no one came to her rescue. What do they have in common?

She was about to tell Nanoha to look away and then make a run for it but at that moment a huge explosion echoed around the area along with high-pitch screams. Nanoha and Vita looked at each other and ran toward the location of the explosion.

"What happened!" roared Vita.

"Where's my daughter!"

Nanoha! Vita! Zapfira limped towards them, Yukari dangling from his mouth and in her hands was...

"Raising Heart?''

[Sorry, my Master.]

"What happened here and why is Yukari with Nanoha's device?''

Nanoha took Yukari from him and he replied, "I don't know. I was hoping you could shed some light?"

"She must have taken Raising Heart while I was holding her."

"Mom! What happened!" Vivio arrived next to Nanoha, sweat trailing down her face.

"We were just wondering the same thing." said Nanoha, looking at her youngest daughter sternly. Yukari looked back with the same intensity.

"Mou...not my fault!"

"Then whose fault was it?"

Everyone was looking at the youngest member of the Takamachi family, waiting to see why she created a giant crater in the middle of a field.

"Well?" repeated Nanoha.

Yukari pouted and said, "Because the big-meanie squirrel kept stealing the trees peanuts."

Silence engulfed the area and then...screams erupted all around.

"It's a devil!"

"Baby devil!!"

"It's the White Devil's baby Devil!"

Vita laughed at both Vivio' and Nanoha's stunned faces.

"I guess you got your answer. Yukari is indeed your daughter."

Spoiler for Author's Notes:

The 'argument' in school was about Nanoha in Force. One side thinks that Nanoha would have a child (biologically speaking) while the other half thinks that...well...she will not have a child of her own. I ignored them of course but couldn't help but write a story about the argument. It then turn into a bloody Nanofate Vs. Yuunoha war...

[Jimmy C]

Cute story.
Regrettably for your argument, neither Nanoha nor Fate can be expected to have biological children during the series. That would nail down their pairings, which is something 7arcs appears to be eager to avoid.

[Alavon]

Originally Posted by Jimmy C

Cute story.
Regrettably for your argument, neither Nanoha nor Fate can be expected to have biological children during the series. That would nail down their pairings, which is something 7arcs appears to be eager to avoid.

That was part of the argument (from the 'not-going-to-be-a-mother' side)! It all began when someone came in the Studio saying that Nanoha would be 25 years old in Force (who knew bringing up someone's age could create a war?) I could care less if they had a biological child, though. But it would have been interesting if they did...

[markesellus]

Originally Posted by Alavon

Just a short story that popped into my head after a heated-*coughs* friendly argument in school...

Spoiler for The Baby Devil:

The Baby Devil
By: Alavon

Nanoha could never have been more prouder. Her oldest child, Vivio, was finally graduating from Officer Academy with the highest honors that can be acheived there. Having been personally train by everyone (by everyone, meaning, Fate, herself, Yuuno, Subaru, Vita, just to name a few), it was only to be expected (says Vita). As a result, she was chosen to speak in front of the crowd as the represenative for her class.

Smiling, Nanoha took out the Camcoder and pressed the 'on' button. She wanted her parents to see their granddaughter at her proudest moment...

Vivio slowly marched towards the podium with a serious face but Nanoha knew better. Underneath that military mask, Vivio was smiling from happiness and only her closest relatives knew that. My baby girl all grown up...

***

"So, Captain Takamachi..."

"Hm?" Nanoha looked over her glass.

"Can you believe that Second Lt. Vivio [Takamachi] is leaving your house for good?"

Nanoha choked on her drink. Coughing, she replied, "Vivio is only 16 years old!"

The head of the Academy, General Verus Muslay, smirked.

"How old were you when you moved out of your parents house?"

Nanoha paled.

Muslay chuckled lightly. He patted Nanoha's shoulder and walked of to congraluate other parents for their kids accomplishment.

Nanoha ran a hand through her hair, panic gripping her. She wouldn't leave...would she?

"Hey, Nanoha!" She turned around and smiled slightly. Vita smiled in return.

"Hey, Vita. Everything going well?"

Vita raised an eyebrow. "That's my line." Nanoha looked at her and sighed. She may as well...

"I'm just worried that Vivio would leave me."

Vita burst into laughter.

Nanoha blinked. "Wha-what's so funny?"

When Vita recovered from her laughing fit, she replied, "Nanoha, you worry too much. Do you really think Vivio would just leave?"

"No but-"

"That's that. Besides, even if she does, you still have one more left."

And sure enough, as if on cue, Yukari Takamachi, Nanoha's youngest daughter, peeked around Vita's legs. She looked exactly like her mother. Her brunette colored hair was tied up to the side and her azure eyes looked up at Nanoha. She was only three years old.

Nanoha smiled gently and picked her up, noticing that Yukari was wearing a flight instructer uniform. Nanoha sighed. She never really understood Hayate's obsession for cosplaying...

"Hayate's at it again, huh?" said Nanoha, brushing a strand of hair from her daughters face.

"Yup. You should have seen Sadame. He wore an Enforcer uniform and Hayate almost made him wear a skirt but Fate threw a fit over it. I think Fate still hasn't got over the mood swings."

Nanoha chuckled but stop when she felt a gentle tug on her shirt.

"What is it, Yukari?" asked Nanoha, sweetly.

"Why Mama sad?"

"Mama is not sad."

Yukari frown and said, "Liar, liar, hams on wire."

"It's...never mind." Nanoha placed Yukari back on the ground and as soon as her little feet touched the ground, she ran of. Nanoha was about to run after her but Vita held her back.

"Don't worry. Zafira is watching her."

Nanoha nodded.

"I know this sounds harsh but sometimes I think she's not my daughter."

Vita looked up, an incredulous look plastered on her face.

"Why you say that?"

"The way she acts. She's always quiet and hardly ever makes a sound but when she does, they are not that comforting. Vivio is like the complete opposite of her. Sometimes Vivio seem more like my real daughter than does my own biological daughter."

Vita was silent for a while but then she shook her head.

"Nanoha...she is definitely your daughter. You are only thinking this way because Vivio is growing up and you don't want her to leave."

"Yeah? Well tell me one thing that Yukari has that shows that she's my daughter? And don't say 'she looks like you' because that won't cut it."

Vita was at a loss for words. She looked around to see if someone would save her from this pickle but no one came to her rescue. What do they have in common?

She was about to tell Nanoha to look away and then make a run for it but at that moment a huge explosion echoed around the area along with high-pitch screams. Nanoha and Vita looked at each other and ran toward the location of the explosion.

"What happened!" roared Vita.

"Where's my daughter!"

Nanoha! Vita! Zapfira limped towards them, Yukari dangling from his mouth and in her hands was...

"Raising Heart?''

[Sorry, my Master.]

"What happened here and why is Yukari with Nanoha's device?''

Nanoha took Yukari from him and he replied, "I don't know. I was hoping you could shed some light?"

"She must have taken Raising Heart while I was holding her."

"Mom! What happened!" Vivio arrived next to Nanoha, sweat trailing down her face.

"We were just wondering the same thing." said Nanoha, looking at her youngest daughter sternly. Yukari looked back with the same intensity.

"Mou...not my fault!"

"Then whose fault was it?"

Everyone was looking at the youngest member of the Takamachi family, waiting to see why she created a giant crater in the middle of a field.

"Well?" repeated Nanoha.

Yukari pouted and said, "Because the big-meanie squirrel kept stealing the trees peanuts."

Silence engulfed the area and then...screams erupted all around.

"It's a devil!"

"Baby devil!!"

"It's the White Devil's baby Devil!"

Vita laughed at both Vivio' and Nanoha's stunned faces.

"I guess you got your answer. Yukari is indeed your daughter."

Spoiler for Author's Notes:

The 'argument' in school was about Nanoha in Force. One side thinks that Nanoha would have a child (biologically speaking) while the other half thinks that...well...she will not have a child of her own. I ignored them of course but couldn't help but write a story about the argument. It then turn into a bloody Nanofate Vs. Yuunoha war...

An interesting argument of course, too bad it turned into a war. But let's not bring up that topic here... >.>
Cute story indeed, I like the small amount of angst that Nanoha has about Vivio. I don't think that's a good similarity for Yukari to have. My favorite line was the "Liar, liar, hams on wire"

[Outlaender]

To get a small point of business out of the way- A week or so ago, the subject of being unable to display an umlaut for the gratuitous german that crops up when writing Belkan. Not a problem, really, the accepted solution is to simply add and "e" after the designated vowel. As in, "Stahlkoenigen" Hope this helps other writers of bits of Belkan out there.


[QUOTE=DezoPenguin;2277057]*slowly pokes the plot along with a stick*

Spoiler for Stahlkönigin--Chapter 11:

Been watching this for a while, lurking from the shadows. I've commented some on your other fics on FFnet (Geshron). This line ( "Pray," she finally said. "Pray to Her Majesty to keep us all safe." ) does make me feel the law of unintended consequences is about to strike our foes, where a little thread of their plot begins to unravel (but not before necessitating the "Big Dramatic Showdown!!" )

To whit- Eileen's car? I seem to remember that it was left behind? Or did our fiendish fiends think of that detail? Abandoned car leads to police checking the
house, asking neighbors, talking to Georg, and getting a funky reaction? Or giving Georg the chance to call for help, since actively refusing to talk to the police would ensure a closer look at the situation from the authorities. It remains to be seen what might crop up on Teana and her partner's end of course, a likely source of a breakthrough. A small possibility could be... Vivio visiting a sick classmate, and finding the house deserted? With neighbors not seeing anyone all day yesterday. (I think Eileen and Billy have been kidnapped for close to 24 hrs. as of the end of chapter 11? )

Your fiends are indeed fiendish- I find myself fearing for the continued safety and well being of Eilleen, Billy, baby to be, and Georg... depends on just how bloodthirsty and ruthless the terrorists are, since it appears they want to use a major orbital weapons system (Einherjar in the sky?) to commit mass mayhem. They never blindfolded their prisoners... Of course disguise magic would do the trick.


Packard... is a bitch. I hope she meets a deserving end... Leaving Packard alive is certainly the most convenient option, since trying to arrange an accident for the both of them on his own exposes Pacer to much greater levels of detection.

I do hope you'll carry on through to the end, and leave any revisions for new canon (if any) until the first version is done.