Public restrooms.

[Roloko vi Britannia]

Originally Posted by Samari

I've used the headphone technique. Works really well.

Look at this funny glossary I found regarding public restrooms. Hilarious.

Spoiler for Bathroom glossary:

ESCAPEE
Definition: A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic/embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urinal, pretend that you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with escapee)
Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine guns pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen do not panic, remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH
Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME
Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk-up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
Definition: A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out of the Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out of the Closet pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN)
Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPERS and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVEN
Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR
Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that occur when work taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH
Definition: A phony cough which alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE
Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON
Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET
Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an escapee. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.

UNCLE TED
Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

FLY BY
Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in, check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

CRACK *****
Definition: A crapper that has seen more ass than a Greyhound Bus. Tell tale signs of a CRACK ***** include pubes, piss stains and streaks. Avoid a CRACK WHORES at all cost. Try finding out when the janitor cleans each particular bathroom. Don't forget, a CRACK ***** can become a SAFE HAVEN.

I don't take dumps in public restrooms, but this made me laugh especially the watermelon one.

[Proto]

I just don't really ming going to one. Human beings weren't made so fragile as to die from something so punny as a something slightly unsanitary. It's all just psychological.

And I got to love how most people feeling on the prudish side are from the US.

[Hooves]

The fact I don't have a slight clue what to expect when I go to a public restroom... Scares me to be honest... So Fly By is the only tactic I will ever use in it as I said in a previous post.

And I got to love how most people feeling on the prudish side are from the US.

Wait what does that mean o.o

[Envy]

Public restrooms are like my worst enemy. No way I'd ever use them, I avoid them.

Surprisingly enough, for me it's not really a matter of how gross they are, it's a matter of privacy. There just isn't enough in public restrooms. I hate even going at home when my parents are there. It's just so embarrassing to me. Stupid, I know, but that's just how I am.

[Veldenz]

I rarely have to use a public restroom because most days I just use the bathroom in the morning and then I'm set for the day and won't have to use it again. But I have no problem ever using them, some can be pretty disgusting but it's nothing a tissue barrier along the seat won't solve. I'd much rather use the public restroom than risk having something slip down the side of my leg when I can't hold it in any longer, haha.

My biggest problem is trying not to burst out laughing when I start making a lot of noises.

[sergho]

Being male I will pee anywhere and on anything. When I have to sit down, I get a little picky.

[Hippo]

Ha ha, wow this thread! I am usually happy to use public toilets- everyone has to pee after all. Sometimes though there are some that are in horrible condition, for example portaloos at music festivals- usually I hold it in until I can hear the cleaning van making the rounds and I dash in before anyone has the time to sully the stall! I do get bladder shy though and I hate it when someone stands right outside the stall door when I am trying to go, I get a bit nervous about it and then start worrying that they think I am constipated or something!

[Kafriel]

Public restrooms? yeah, I hear they gots some top-notch egg salad sandwiches over there Never really had to use one, but yeah I'll avoid it if possible. Worst case scenario would be having expired food/drinks while inside a restaurant or something...I'm just glad I got intestinal fortitude

[Arbitres]

I have pride. I will not stoop so low as to use something that doesn't seem hygenic. If I see a poor maintenanced public rest room... Well, I reject the temptation and decide to hold it in.

Of course, this one time I heard the female rest rooms were allot cleaner, so I went to check.... The cleanness was a lie. And on the way out I was caught.

.... I learned something though. Two things. Don't go into places you don't belong, and don't use the excuse "I had to pee" when in a girl's restroom.

The end.

[white wing]

regarding hygiene, here in indonesia like every restrooms that is not in a high end malls/restaurants are fuckin dirty, especially in stations, or even schools.

and i fuckin hate when i have to poo in school or some other places especially when they don't have the usual sitting toilet, but this kind of toilet requires us to duck and i hate that.

so sometimes i have to use the teacher's restroom because it has the sitting toilet and showers, fuck what's with that

also it's stinky
man i wish i could avoid them

[Souka]

I've never used public restrooms or even those in my school, I just can't when I imagine the number of people who used them, I am too picky when it comes to this kind of stuff, plus some are really dirty. Thanks to all the times I had to hold it in, for really long sometimes, I became abnormally good at it.

[white wing]

Originally Posted by Souka

I've never used public restrooms or even those in my school, I just can't when I imagine the number of people who used them, I am too picky when it comes to this kind of stuff, plus some are really dirty. Thanks to all the times I had to hold it in, for really long sometimes, I became abnormally good at it.

yeah me too and i sometimes hold it in up to 2 or even 3 hours, but i really hate it when i am having exams, so i just go there.

[thevil1]

Has anyone posted this yet?

[Sides]

What about festivals and camping, excluding wild camoping, do you guys hold it back till you get home or what?

[LeoXiao]

Originally Posted by Sides

What about festivals and camping, excluding wild camoping, do you guys hold it back till you get home or what?

Camping is in the wild, and so it's okay to use the bushes.

Btw, the video was awesome.

[Kusa-San]

Originally Posted by thevil1

Has anyone posted this yet?

This video is the video of truth. Never speak to another person when you're using the restrooms. That will lead to the end of humanity

[Kyero Fox]

Originally Posted by Samari

I've used the headphone technique. Works really well.

Look at this funny glossary I found regarding public restrooms. Hilarious.

Spoiler for Bathroom glossary:

ESCAPEE
Definition: A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic/embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urinal, pretend that you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with escapee)
Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine guns pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen do not panic, remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH
Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME
Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk-up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
Definition: A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out of the Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out of the Closet pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN)
Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPERS and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVEN
Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR
Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that occur when work taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH
Definition: A phony cough which alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE
Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON
Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET
Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an escapee. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.

UNCLE TED
Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

FLY BY
Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in, check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

CRACK *****
Definition: A crapper that has seen more ass than a Greyhound Bus. Tell tale signs of a CRACK ***** include pubes, piss stains and streaks. Avoid a CRACK WHORES at all cost. Try finding out when the janitor cleans each particular bathroom. Don't forget, a CRACK ***** can become a SAFE HAVEN.

HAHAHA Omg I couldn't stop laughing XD I started to cry XD

[Dragonar Fan]

I walked into to a public restroom with Blood guts & scales everywhere , I ran cause STUNK like Fish & Crap , & I had a serious migrane that night so yeah you can see where this is going

[Hooves]

I just cannot find the reason how people have the bravery to use the restroom with others in their.... I mean unless they just could not hold it in any longer...

[Suomi]

Public restrooms are cleaner than your keyboard.