Most Ridiculous Naruto theories

[Luminion Lancer]

-If the title didn't tip you all off then this explaination should be enough. This is by no means a "serious" discussion thread (but it's not something Yellow Flash posts either) rather it's purpose is to see how crazy and hilarious we can make the Naruto series seem.

-Akatsuki Leader

Spoiler:

is in fact none other than Sephiroth from Final Fantasy 7. After a bad visit to the hair salon left Sephiroth's hair in a complete mess, Sephiroth decided to leave his world for a new one and try his luck there.

-Naruto

Spoiler:

is in fact a super genious. His idiotic behaviour is just a front because he fears his head will explode from all that intelligent thinking if he ever decided to use it. Currently he has only used 5% max of his true brilliance. If he went all out the world as we know it would end, Hell would freeze and Heaven would fall.

-Kyuubi and Yondaime Hokage

Spoiler:

were in fact lovers and are Naruto's parents. But the funny thing is, Kyuubi is the father and Yondaime is the mother. Why? Well Yondaime is in fact a female, she just constantly kept up her version of the Orioke no Jutsu. So instead of appearing as a woman she appeared as a man. She fell in love with the Kyuubi and eventually gave birth to Naruto, and then immediately went to fight the Kyuubi and seal him up in her son. What an unpleasant and disturbing secret no?

-Sasuke

Spoiler:

His appearance in the last arc was the result of Uchiha Rave drugging Kishimoto-sensei long enough to bend the story to her own desires. That's why Sasuke appeared to be so strong and unbeateable back then. This was later corrected when Kishimoto-sensei regained his senses and made it so that the reason Sasuke is so strong is because of drugs. Kishimoto-sensei is now guarded with a large number of bodyguards around the clock so something like this never happens again.

-More will come soon.......*que fanfare music*

[Rurik]

I got one form a friend that said that Orochimaru not only belonged to Akatsuki, but to another unknown evil organization, this is because When Akasuki said “Oro left the organization 7 years ago” in no moment mentioned the word “Akatsuki”.

Although this tread is a good idea, and a good laugh, I don’t think mods are going to approve of it, either way, if you want really interesting and sometimes off the mark theories, you should visit the Naruto Fan section of Theories.

And LOL to those thories, specialy the last one (Rave is going to kill us both)

[Luminion Lancer]

Originally Posted by Uchiha_Rurik

Although this tread is a good idea, and a good laugh, I don’t think mods are going to approve of it, either way, if you want really interesting and sometimes off the mark theories, you should visit the Naruto Fan section of Theories.

And LOL to those thories, specialy the last one (Rave is going to kill us both)

-Aw darn it all. I hope they actually let the thread live, I really put some effort into those theories of mine. Wait isn't a member able to appeal to a mod if the thread is closed? Anyway I'm glad at least someone ejoyed it.

-And thank you for the heads up on Narutofan, I didn't know that.

[Rurik]

Originally Posted by KatonMakai

-Aw darn it all. I hope they actually let the thread live, I really put some effort into those theories of mine. Wait isn't a member able to appeal to a mod if the thread is closed? Anyway I'm glad at least someone ejoyed it..

Who knows, I’m not a mod so I could not tell, a lot of YF thread were allowed to live a long time, maybe this one could do it.

Just that I see that in some point, some poster could begin using theories of other poster as ridiculous and then start flaming each other, at least that’s the possible problem I see with this thread.

[Luminion Lancer]

Originally Posted by Uchiha_Rurik

Just that I see that in some point, some poster could begin using theories of other poster as ridiculous and then start flaming each other, at least that’s the possible problem I see with this thread.

-Oh so that woukld be the reason why? I see, well let it stand for the record that it was never my intention to start a flame war of any kind. I just wanted to put up a thread where people could get a good laugh kind of like the "Things a Naruto Character would Never Say" thread. Really the theories posted here are meant to be a joke and not taken seriously. But I guess there's always gonna be some people who do take it seriously and ruin the fun for the rest of us.

New theories

-Gaara

Spoiler:

Many believe that it was the Shukaku that made Gaara suffer from insomnia. However this is false. The culprit was none other than Gaara's teddy bear Mr. Snuffles, who was in fact a carnivorous, murdering, alien entity set for global domination. He did so by constantly whispering to Gaara while he was asleep. And that's why Gaara never wanted to go to sleep.

-Itachi

Spoiler:

never intentionaly killed off his entire clan. In fact it was all just an accident. See what happened was that Itachi conducted an unknown virus and when he sneezed at a family meeting the virus spread from one family member to another. Only Itachi and Sasuke were somehow able to escape the virus' clutches. the virus was also what made Sasuke believe Itachi killed the entire clan.

[Rurik]

And I know you never intended such thing, but you get my point, we can’t control what every poster post.

But lest hope the Mods and the posters take this in account and just let this thread be ^___^

[Luminion Lancer]

Originally Posted by Uchiha_Rurik

And I know you never intended such thing, but you get my point, we can’t control what every poster post.

But lest hope the Mods and the posters take this in account and just let this thread be ^___^

-Thank you for the support ^_^.

-Shikamaru

Spoiler:

It is a well known fact that Shikamaru always complains and claims that everything is tiresome with a tired expression on his face. Well there's a reason for that fatigue. That's right. It's because out of all the Naruto characters Shikamaru has the biggest sex life. In fact so many girls want him that it keeps him up at night. Furthermore, the chasing has gotten so bad that Shikamaru has to use viagra to keep up with all the girls that want him. He's both lucky and cursed at the same time.

[Rurik]

Originally Posted by KatonMakai

-Thank you for the support ^_^.

-Shikamaru

Spoiler:

It is a well known fact that Shikamaru always complains and claims that everything is tiresome with a tired expression on his face. Well there's a reason for that fatigue. That's right. It's because out of all the Naruto characters Shikamaru has the biggest sex life. In fact so many girls want him that it keeps him up at night. Furthermore, the chasing has gotten so bad that Shikamaru has to use viagra to keep up with all the girls that want him. He's both lucky and cursed at the same time.

LOL, that could explain his issues wiht Women!

[Nuzzles]

The Kyuubi and Yondaime one doesn't seem all that ridiculous, you know.

[T1BillionX]

I got one!

-The Sannins

Spoiler:

Yondaime is the illegitimate love child of Tsundae and Jiraiya and Orochimaru because he was going to propose to Tsunade but He found out that she and Jiraiya were in fact Yondaimes parents

[tkdtiger]

Actually I think Naruto is smarter then people give him credit for...alot of his low marks was because in the beginning he goofed off, because he was trying to get people attention, but if you look at it his seemingly lack of interlligent is, because he's now playing catchup not because he's a complete idiot although he's not a genius either...just a hard worker making him averafe

[Luminion Lancer]

Originally Posted by Nuzzles

The Kyuubi and Yondaime one doesn't seem all that ridiculous, you know.

-Wow I made a joke-intended theory sound plausible? Man I must be a better writer than I thought. Glad you liked the theory Nuzzles.

-Sai

Spoiler:

We all know from Sai's get-up/ninja wardrobe that he likes to show off his belly/mid section. But why is that exactly? Well it is because, in reality, Sai's dream is to be a male Belly dancer for the Hokage! That's right everybody, this is the dream of both Sai and his "brother". They were planning to go to broadway too but Danzou found them and made them Root Anbu members. Man life just plain sucks don't it?

-Akatsuki's Plan

Spoiler:

is in fact to collect the Biju for a grand purpose. To awaken the King of Monsters. That's right everybody they're trying to summon GODZILA into the Narutoverse! Think about it: Kyuubi king of the Biju. Godzila King of All monsters. They're just swaping one king for another. Yup, pretty soon everyone in the Narutoverse is going to be screaming Godzila's name in horrible 1980's dubbings.

-Who is Sakura destined to marry? Naruto? Sasuke?

Spoiler:

Well who said anything about it having to be a man, or anyone of the "human" species altogheter?

-Naruto's Ultimate Jutsu

Spoiler:

is in fact him doing the henge to become the Orange Power Ranger. With his trusty Gamabunta-zord he will save the day from recycled animations and fight scenes. Tada mystery solved.

-Konohamaru

Spoiler:

well he's...uhh...ahh screw it, he's a ridiculous theory on his own!

[Laharu]

man these are suprisingly hilarious. kudos to you KatonMakai!!

[Luminion Lancer]

Originally Posted by Laharu

man these are suprisingly hilarious. kudos to you KatonMakai!!

-Thank you.

-Last Akatsuki Member

Spoiler:

is in reality Bob Barker, who has been resurected from the dead with Orochimaru's Edo Tensei. However before Orochimaru could make the deceased "Price Is Right" host his slave Itachi came and messed up his plans. Currently he works with Akatsuki to accomplish their goals. His most powerful jutsu is called "Guess the Price no Jutsu" where if you guess the price of one of his items. If you guess wrong, you will get a Chrysler LeBaron dropped on you and you'll die slowly as your bones are being crushed. You guess right...you'll still get a LeBaron dropped on you but you'll die much quicker.

[Rurik]

LMAO

Katon you a genius, are you making this yourself?...Im crying because of the laughs.

I loved the most Akatsukis plans

[Luminion Lancer]

Originally Posted by Lollerpants

I thought his ultimate jutsu was a fart D:

With that wind and all.

-Yup I forgot to mention that the Naruto (Orange Power Ranger) and Gamabunta-zord's ultimate attack goes like this: 1st Gamabunta-zord will fart a huge one. 2nd Naruto uses his wind power to spread the stench further thus suffocating all of his enemies (killing the O-zone layer as well but who cares about that?).

Originally Posted by Uchiha_Rurik

LMAO

Katon you a genius, are you making this yourself?...Im crying because of the laughs.

I loved the most Akatsukis plans

-Yup you got it. I'm just making this up as I go along.

[MobiuS]

FYI Uchiha Rave is on the verge on leaving the forums due to the amount of silly people here. So I doubt she saw that comment. It took a boatload of begging and handing over the pass to a precious account to convince her not to leave. -_-*

[IVIavrick]

Damn, I always thought that Yondaime's lover was none other than the Death God himself and the Kyuubi was their love child. Yes indeed, Yondaime is actually hundreds of years old, and that is why she knows the soul stealing jutsu. Also, she stays alive through her special jutsu that makes her into a baby with the Kyuubi incubating inside. So when Naruto comes of age, he will give birth to the Kyuubi and all the memories of Yondaime will flood into him. Yondaime also changes her sex every few generations to avoid people catching on, this is why Naruto is a male. Next generation he will be a female once more. This explains why Kyuubi only appears once every few dozen years. Also the true names of Yondaime and the Death God? Why, none other than Dante and Hohenheim of Light.
>but thats just the theory I thought of a while ago<

[Luminion Lancer]

Originally Posted by MobiuS

FYI Uchiha Rave is on the verge on leaving the forums due to the amount of silly people here. So I doubt she saw that comment. It took a boatload of begging and handing over the pass to a precious account to convince her not to leave. -_-*

-Oh boy I'm sorry to hear that but if she wants to leave then you can't really force her to stay. It's probably better to let her be...

-Recently one of my friends has seen this thread and decided to contact me to input his own sort of "unique" theories as well. Seeing as how my friend doesn't have a membership here he has asked me to post the theories in his place.

Spoiler:

Here we go! A Shintoshi special:

Hinata is actually studying under Jiraiya as of late to become an even better ninja (and possibly get closer to Naruto). In payment for his services, she provides Jiraiya with material for his novels through the use of her Byakugan. Dear God! Not Hinata!

Tsunade's summon is the poorest of the three for it is not, in fact, a slug but a homeless snail.

Kankuro has his own personal harem, the only problem is they're all made of wood. On another note, he is able to use a single medical jutsu for removing splinters.

Kiba taught his Akamaru his first jutsu because homosexuality is less frowned upon than the alternative

[sanghyun1990]

not ridiculous but whatever

Spoiler:

Naruto and Fourth Hokage are brothers and their parent are the founder of Akatsuki