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Old 2011-02-28, 22:06   Link #921
blitz1/2
Tenshi's Defense Squadron
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Fighting against those who oppress the system
Guys, it's up. Please review.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6786033/...ined_encounter
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Old 2011-02-28, 22:38   Link #922
Miraluka
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ritsu026 View Post
listen to MrTerrorist. I made my character cooler and stronger and now I'm not so sure that the readers will like him , but since I'm going to make another one in alternate world where Ted didn't like Banri , he liked Misaka I don't care. The story will be about their daughter when she's 17 and her friend Yuriko Musujime (son of Accelerator and Awaki Musujime). She posses the ability to copy abilities and their levels and can have copy only one ability copied and because of that the scientists can't tell which level is her ability and she's level 0 (something like Touma's case). Yuriko has Accelerator's powers and he's albino just like him. I think that it will be more interesting than the first one , but I still didn't start it so it won't be ready soon. I'll start it after I finish the first one.
Interesting, you mean copy an ability at time? I don't find reason to label her Level 0.
I recommend you to make the character to set a certain condition in order to copy the ability, a condition that will make scientists (probably, unknown to them) to label her as a Level 0.
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Old 2011-02-28, 22:58   Link #923
SuzushinaYuriko
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blitz1/2 View Post
I thought it was okay, but that some parts felt like they didn't connect together well. It felt like this could have been a good multi-chapter fic but was condensed into a story that was too short.

Quote:
listen to MrTerrorist. I made my character cooler and stronger and now I'm not so sure that the readers will like him , but since I'm going to make another one in alternate world where Ted didn't like Banri , he liked Misaka I don't care. The story will be about their daughter when she's 17 and her friend Yuriko Musujime (son of Accelerator and Awaki Musujime). She posses the ability to copy abilities and their levels and can have copy only one ability copied and because of that the scientists can't tell which level is her ability and she's level 0 (something like Touma's case). Yuriko has Accelerator's powers and he's albino just like him. I think that it will be more interesting than the first one , but I still didn't start it so it won't be ready soon. I'll start it after I finish the first one.
One problem - Yuriko is a girl's name. You'd have to find a way to make it masculine somehow.

If she can copy other people's abilities, wouldn't that mean it would be an active power similar to Rikou's AIM Stalker and as such cannot be labeled a Level 0?

Other than that, I think it's good.
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Old 2011-02-28, 23:38   Link #924
blitz1/2
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Fighting against those who oppress the system
Quote:
Originally Posted by yukirosuzuka View Post
I thought it was okay, but that some parts felt like they didn't connect together well. It felt like this could have been a good multi-chapter fic but was condensed into a story that was too short.



One problem - Yuriko is a girl's name. You'd have to find a way to make it masculine somehow.

If she can copy other people's abilities, wouldn't that mean it would be an active power similar to Rikou's AIM Stalker and as such cannot be labeled a Level 0?

Other than that, I think it's good.
Yea, I knew I should have went with my first instinct again (I was planning on making it multiple chapters at first, but then I know that if I do that, I would end up forgetting the story and somehow lose the motivation to write).
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Old 2011-03-01, 02:24   Link #925
Tsukino Kage Spectre
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by WiliamZ0 View Post
I have a new concept about new TAMnI fanfic

It called TAMnI: Alternative Testament

Like it named said it is TAMnI (followed a little from LN) with a lot of changes applied.

Here are the concept so far:

Mikoto and Touma meet Index at same time, while doing their usual 'chasing'
Involvement of Mikoto in Magic World
Touma never lost his memories ~
Reminds me a bit of the Kanon Manga, which added a new twist by making Nayuki accompany Yuuichi doing most of his protagonist things.

Touma with memories should mean less angst and more wtf pwn on the bad guys.
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Old 2011-03-01, 07:30   Link #926
Ritsu026
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OK I'll find a new name for Accelerator 2 and Misaka Misae (that's Misaka's daughter) will have to touch the original ability user in order to copy the ability. I was thinking for making her power to copy magic too , but maybe it will be too much and I'll make her super strong again. In the meantime this explains why the scientists made her level 0 and one of the original reasons for that was because she copies the level of the ability too so she doesn't have her own level of powers. She's like level changer. She can only have one ability copied at a time I mean she have to copy the loosen ability like the first time when she copied it. If she can copy magic attacks then it's meaningless to make her touch the person and it'll be better to touch the ability in order to copy it. Something like Touma's Imagine Breaker. He has to touch the power and then blocks it the only difference is that Misae don't block , she take the damages and then is she's still alive attacks the enemy with his own magic or ability.
Tell me which version is better. This time I plan to put some magic in the fanfic so it'll be better to copy magic too , but I'll let you to decide this fact , because The last time I decided something like that I made Ted level 6 and multiple power user with 16 powers.
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Old 2011-03-01, 14:08   Link #927
Miraluka
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If the character can copy magic this will mean she didn't passed trough esper development curriculum. And every studen has to pass through it which means their brains are messed and using magic will made them explode like Tsuchimikado.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsukino Kage Spectre View Post
Touma with memories should mean less angst and more wtf pwn on the bad guys.
Touma with memories was a dubious guy who will ran away.
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Old 2011-03-02, 02:35   Link #928
WiliamZ0
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsukino Kage Spectre View Post
Reminds me a bit of the Kanon Manga, which added a new twist by making Nayuki accompany Yuuichi doing most of his protagonist things.

Touma with memories should mean less angst and more wtf pwn on the bad guys.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wilfriback View Post
Touma with memories was a dubious guy who will ran away.
And this where it is interesting my buddy

He ever show it once when he must choose to run or save Index

And this where the real character shows up!

And this one of reason why I make him with memories XD
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Old 2011-03-02, 03:04   Link #929
Chaos2Frozen
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Simply put, if it's to save himself Touma would run. If it's to save someone else, Touma would fight. This has been the same with or without memories, but in the beginning it looked like Touma was taking the first steps to becoming a hero by putting away his doubt in his powers and in himself (reference to PSI-Missing's lyrics) , much like what Accelerator is struggling to do with himself except Accelerator has this huge bottomless pit behind him that he calls his 'past'.
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Old 2011-03-02, 04:29   Link #930
kaizerknight01
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hey chaos how your fic doing? still waiting for the next chapter
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Old 2011-03-02, 04:33   Link #931
Chaos2Frozen
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Originally Posted by kaizerknight01 View Post
hey chaos how your fic doing? still waiting for the next chapter
Wait, which one ?
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Old 2011-03-02, 05:11   Link #932
kaizerknight01
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oops my bad, i forgot its a one shot, any fanfic projects your working on chaos?

Last edited by kaizerknight01; 2011-03-02 at 05:22.
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Old 2011-03-02, 06:08   Link #933
Chaos2Frozen
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Originally Posted by kaizerknight01 View Post
oops my bad, i forgot its a one shot, any fanfic projects your working on chaos?
Er... Define 'working' ?

Working as in you can physically see an effort being done, or working as in it's in my head kind of working...?

Depending on your answer you might be disappointed...

Last edited by Chaos2Frozen; 2011-03-02 at 06:26.
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Old 2011-03-02, 06:20   Link #934
kaizerknight01
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Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen View Post
Er... Definite 'working' ?

Working as in you can physically see an effort being done, or working as in it's in my head kind of working...?

Depending on your answer you might be disappointed...
All that i can say i that i wish you well on your endeavor
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Old 2011-03-02, 07:50   Link #935
Chaos2Frozen
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Originally Posted by kaizerknight01 View Post
All that i can say i that i wish you well on your endeavor
It's not that I don't want to... But unless you're willing to put that proverbial whip to use it's hard for me to find motivation
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Old 2011-03-02, 08:03   Link #936
blitz1/2
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Join Date: Dec 2005
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen View Post
It's not that I don't want to... But unless you're willing to put that proverbial whip to use it's hard for me to find motivation
Real life hits us really hard these days.
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Old 2011-03-02, 09:29   Link #937
Ritsu026
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Join Date: Aug 2010
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then it's decided. Misae can copy only esper powers and , because of her unknown level the scientists are taking her like level 0 , because it's really hard to find her real level and they're too lazy to do it. I hate scientists sometimes!!! So can someone give to Accelerator 2 a good male first name? Not Hisashi because the antagonist of the first fanfic is called Hisashi Nakamura.
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Old 2011-03-02, 12:40   Link #938
blitz1/2
Tenshi's Defense Squadron
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Fighting against those who oppress the system
Hake Yamikura?
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hai, hai. Onii-chan has his work cut out for him.
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Old 2011-03-02, 23:07   Link #939
Johnny
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen View Post
Simply put, if it's to save himself Touma would run. If it's to save someone else, Touma would fight. This has been the same with or without memories, but in the beginning it looked like Touma was taking the first steps to becoming a hero by putting away his doubt in his powers and in himself (reference to PSI-Missing's lyrics) , much like what Accelerator is struggling to do with himself except Accelerator has this huge bottomless pit behind him that he calls his 'past'.
QFT...

Not sure why people make that assumption since he did help Index and he did well try to help Misaka even though she didn't need to with his noggin intact...

I'd say his character wouldn't be so guarded and have a more open personality with memories. Without memories he has to second guess himself whether or not he has a history with whoever he might meet...

BTW blitz, that was a good little oneshot. I normally don't read gender switched stories, but gave it a shot and was thoroughly entertained...
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Old 2011-03-03, 09:04   Link #940
Ritsu026
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Originally Posted by blitz1/2 View Post
Hake Yamikura?
he already has last name Musujime , but I can use one of the names. Maybe Yamikura.
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