I'm actually most in support of the miko outfit suggestion, though I don't see Yuki splashing water on Kyon... more likely she would pour the water onto the headphones or something.
What if, instead, there was something wrong with Kyon, and not the headphones? The screwiness associated with the headphones is merely the result of Kyon's projection of his newfound corruption?
What if Yuki believed the above, and was wrong? Kyon would be humorously hurt for no reason.
What if, Yuki was sadistic?
Spoiler for Actually, this is pretty lousy writing, but I took the effort to type it, so... :p:
Kyon: So, how are we going to exor... (SPLASH!) What are you doing, Nagato?!
Yuki: (holding bucket) Water is an agent for purification according to local hypothesis.
Kyon: I don't think it works like that!
Yuki: Indeed. Abnormal data still detected. Proceeding with exorcism/shinto protocols until deletion. (PUFF!)
Kyon: ... Did you just dump sand on me?
Yuki: (holding a different bucket) Sand is also an agent for purification according to local hypothesis.
Kyon: Look, could you please tell me what you're about to do before you do it?
Yuki: (Nods) This is ceremonial salt. (holds it in front of Kyon)
Kyon: ...and are you going to dump it on me?
Yuki: Affirmative. (Blows it into Kyon's face)
Kyon: AHH! MY EYES! (writhes in pain) Nagato, stop doing this! For goodness sake, why didn't you do the water purification now? I could at least wash sand and salt away.
Yuki: Understood. Rearranging order of remaining protocols to minimise discomfort. Next, I have prepared ceremonial sake.
Kyon: (The pain subsided) Don't dump it on me!
Yuki: Indeed. Sake is imbibed as per protocols.
Kyon: Really? I'm still underaged... but why not? (Start chugging)
Yuki: Final protocol, fire and lots of it. Alcohol should have increased your pain tolerance by inhibiting neuron impulses.
Kyon: (Chokes, unable to protest, but screaming clears the throat instantly) THE PAIN, THE SAKE DOES NOTHING! OH, GOD, WHY! NAGATO, IT BURNS MY HUMAN FLESH!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heatth
Which don't mean he can't wear something else. At last it is simpler, it just need some lines in the text.
For why he would wear something else, dunno. Maybe to help in the exorcism. For that matter, why would Yuki wear anything different? Since when she needs it? And since when it would help? Her powers are not related to her clothes, as far I can tell.
If costumes are useless, how about high tech equipment? A pair of proton packs and a muon trap.
Yuki and Kyon aiming at the metal box.
Kyon: Oi, Nagato, isn't this dangerous?
Yuki: Just don't cross the streams...
What if, instead, there was something wrong with Kyon, and not the headphones? The screwiness associated with the headphones is merely the result of Kyon's projection of his newfound corruption?
What if Yuki believed the above, and was wrong? Kyon would be humorously hurt for no reason.
This is what I think, though it doesn't explain how Yuki also gets affected by the FLASHES IN SPACE.
Quote:
What if, Yuki was sadistic?
Spoiler for Actually, this is pretty lousy writing, but I took the effort to type it, so... :p:
Kyon: So, how are we going to exor... (SPLASH!) What are you doing, Nagato?!
Yuki: (holding bucket) Water is an agent for purification according to local hypothesis.
Kyon: I don't think it works like that!
Yuki: Indeed. Abnormal data still detected. Proceeding with exorcism/shinto protocols until deletion. (PUFF!)
Kyon: ... Did you just dump sand on me?
Yuki: (holding a different bucket) Sand is also an agent for purification according to local hypothesis.
Kyon: Look, could you please tell me what you're about to do before you do it?
Yuki: (Nods) This is ceremonial salt. (holds it in front of Kyon)
Kyon: ...and are you going to dump it on me?
Yuki: Affirmative. (Blows it into Kyon's face)
Kyon: AHH! MY EYES! (writhes in pain) Nagato, stop doing this! For goodness sake, why didn't you do the water purification now? I could at least wash sand and salt away.
Yuki: Understood. Rearranging order of remaining protocols to minimise discomfort. Next, I have prepared ceremonial sake.
Kyon: (The pain subsided) Don't dump it on me!
Yuki: Indeed. Sake is imbibed as per protocols.
Kyon: Really? I'm still underaged... but why not? (Start chugging)
Yuki: Final protocol, fire and lots of it. Alcohol should have increased your pain tolerance by inhibiting neuron impulses.
Kyon: (Chokes, unable to protest, but screaming clears the throat instantly) OH, GOD, WHY! NAGATO, IT BURNS MY HUMAN FLESH!
Kyon might be one of my fav characters, but that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve this sometimes
Quote:
If costumes are useless, how about high tech equipment? A pair of proton packs and a muon trap.
Yuki and Kyon aiming at the metal box.
Kyon: Oi, Nagato, isn't this dangerous?
Yuki: Just don't cross the streams...
Yuki would just be helping Kyon destroy his past. Wait... what if...maybe this was Kyon's plan all along, and he just made up an excuse for it?!
It would make sense.
Something like...
Spoiler for Kyon's true intentions:
Kyon: Nagato-san, I don't want to go near that box again, so just CONVENIENTLY destroy it for me, ok?
Yuki: Affirmative.
*destroys box*
Yuki: It is over.
Kyon: (There are some things there that are better left destroyed.)
Spoiler for Actually, this is pretty lousy writing, but I took the effort to type it, so... :p:
Kyon: So, how are we going to exor... (SPLASH!) What are you doing, Nagato?!
Yuki: (holding bucket) Water is an agent for purification according to local hypothesis.
Kyon: I don't think it works like that!
Yuki: Indeed. Abnormal data still detected. Proceeding with exorcism/shinto protocols until deletion. (PUFF!)
Kyon: ... Did you just dump sand on me?
Yuki: (holding a different bucket) Sand is also an agent for purification according to local hypothesis.
Kyon: Look, could you please tell me what you're about to do before you do it?
Yuki: (Nods) This is ceremonial salt. (holds it in front of Kyon)
Kyon: ...and are you going to dump it on me?
Yuki: Affirmative. (Blows it into Kyon's face)
Kyon: AHH! MY EYES! (writhes in pain) Nagato, stop doing this! For goodness sake, why didn't you do the water purification now? I could at least wash sand and salt away.
Yuki: Understood. Rearranging order of remaining protocols to minimise discomfort. Next, I have prepared ceremonial sake.
Kyon: (The pain subsided) Don't dump it on me!
Yuki: Indeed. Sake is imbibed as per protocols.
Kyon: Really? I'm still underaged... but why not? (Start chugging)
Yuki: Final protocol, fire and lots of it. Alcohol should have increased your pain tolerance by inhibiting neuron impulses.
Kyon: (Chokes, unable to protest, but screaming clears the throat instantly) THE PAIN, THE SAKE DOES NOTHING! OH, GOD, WHY! NAGATO, IT BURNS MY HUMAN FLESH!
Spoiler for Actually, this is pretty lousy writing, but I took the effort to type it, so... :p:
Kyon: (Chokes, unable to protest, but screaming clears the throat instantly) THE PAIN, THE SAKE DOES NOTHING!
... Kyon is now portrayed by Rainier Wolfcastle?
__________________
WARNING: Kogetsu Shirogane cannot be held accountable for any actions taken by someone else. Potential side effects of communicating with this user include headaches, mild confusion, insanity, delirium, and jumping into fires. Do not expose this user to sunlight or water or feed this user after midnight.
For the past couple of hours, Nagato had been muttering strange phrases under her breath, readjusting the position of what few objects she had in the room, and, explicably, drawing a small magic circle on the floor in what appeared to be salt.
Kyon: That's good, but... is this all really necessary?
Yuki: Not exactly.
Then what was the point of all that just now!?
Yuki: It will help you to relax during the ceremony.
Kyon: ...You sure about that?
It's actually making me at lot more nervous.
Nagato instructed me to place the headphones in the middle of the circle. Since I didn't want to touch them with my bare skin, I just put the box there instead. Hey, Nagato, maybe you can exorcise my childhood while you're at it?
Yuki: Let us begin.
I followed Nagato's lead and sat across the salt circle from her, putting my hands together. ...Is this really going to work? It's not that I doubt Nagato's powers... it's just more that I doubt even she can deal with something as strange as this.
And then she began to chant.
Nagato's 'incantations' are normally incomprehensible gibberish, sped up a hundred times... but today... something is different.
I can't put my finger on it, but... it's somehow like it's not Nagato that's chanting, but... her entire apartment?
We sat like this for a few moments, which quickly turned to minutes. Nothing happened, but then...
Nagato's incantations suddenly started to make sense.
Yuki: Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage.
Uh. That doesn't sound exactly--
All of a sudden, something somewhere shifts, and I'm thrown off-balance, falling flat on my face. In front of my eyes, the circle of salt slowly starts to glow.
Yuki: Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage.
With my ear to the floor, I can hear it. A rumbling noise is gradually building up beneath the floorboards, as though the noise itself is straining to break free.
...So this is an exorcism, huh?
With a loud CRACK, the top of the box flies open, and slowly, ever so slowly, the headphones begin to rise up... and the noise beneath the floor with them.
It's screams. Thousands of screaming voices erupt at once, resounding their despair in unison. Screams that sound almost as they're taking the form of a song.
As I struggle to my knees against the growing pressure, I realize: They're not like a song. They ARE the songs. All the music that has ever passed through those headphones has now changed into screams.
Now that's just a bit eerie.
Yuki: Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage.
So is that.
...? This... isn't good.
I feel the taste of bile in the back of my throat... in fact, it seems as though I'm about to gllllllrchcchckkk.
Suddenly I'm hurling all over the floor. The mess burns as it comes up, and...
It's burning far too much.
...I'm not throwing up vomit. What's on the cracked and twisted floor isn't anything recognizable. In fact, it's even transparent.
What I have been expelling from my mouth resembles what you'd get if you took heat waves and made them semisolid. It's a pile of steaming invisible goo.
And yet. I don't feel as though this is a dream at all. This is all actually happening, right in front of me.
Nagato? Help? Please?
God, what the hell is going on?
A whirlwind has begun to whip up around the ever-screaming headphones, sucking in the solidified heat that I just disgorged.
Yuki: Perish.
And with that, the headphones cracked and twisted upon themselves into a ball of scrap and fell back into my box of memories, which immediately snapped shut.
I exhaled. And for a moment, everything was finally calm.
Until both Nagato and I noticed that the solidified heat was still suspended in midair. Floating, ominous.
Kyon: Nagato? What is that?
Yuki: ...Your possessor.
The stuff trickled down to the floor, and started to form translucent feet... legs... a torso... arms and hands... and head. Complete with a big, wide smile.
It tried to reach out to me, but when its hands crossed over the edge of Nagato's magic circle, it shrank back as though in pain.
Yuki: Do not worry. It cannot pass through the barrier I have constructed.
The thing looked down at its captor, apparently in displeasure. The salt circle exploded outward.
As did the walls.
We suddenly found ourselves in the middle of a desert... the same environment, in fact, where we fought that cave cricket all those months ago.
Alternate space.
Yuki: Duck. Quickly.
I duck... just in time to avoid the thing, which, snarling like a tiger, had launched itself at me. It hit a sand dune, and righting itself, prepared to pounce again.
Kyon: What the hell are you!?
That's a question I'd really like an answer to right now.
The thing chuckled.
???: I? wHaT aM i?
It spoke in the voices of two thousand singers, two thousand artists, two thousand songs.
???: PlEaSe AlLoW mE To InTrOdUcE mYsElF.
The voice sounded as though it was older than time.
???: I aM a MaN oF WeAlTh AnD tAsTe.
Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess his name.
I'll have the rest up later tonight, and probably the next Haruki scene too if I have enough energy. No promises, though.
What I have been expelling from my mouth resembles what you'd get if you took heat waves and made them semisolid. It's a pile of steaming invisible goo.
Sorry guys, but it's way too late in my timezone. You can definitely expect a lot more stuff tomorrow, and I'm sure you don't want Kyon or Haruki complaining about how tired they are anymore, so...
I have a theory about who our Man of Wealth and Taste is, and ties into my current theory on Midori. It would take a long while to write up, and I still want to see more of the story before I jump to any conclusions (after all, we just met the Man of Wealth and Taste), but suffice it to say that I believe that these two characters are the "midpoints" of two sides of the Square.
Okay, finally. Full version of the Noon sequences.
Spoiler for September the Seventh, Day Six: Noon:
Through the Cracks
Haruhi: So, where do you think we should go next?
Kyon: How about home?
Haruhi: No! We're not leaving until we find something mysterious!
Kyon: And how are we supposed to do that!?
We haven't even looked for a damn thing! All you've done all day is drag me around to various stores and bought things that you don't even need! And I still paid for your breakfast!
What's more, Haruhi made me hold all her purchases, stating that “you're a guy, so it's your duty!” Because of this, she's the one in control of the umbrella.
Haruhi: Hmph, if you're going to be like that, you can just soak.
She stalks away, leaving me to be drizzled upon. ...This is about the fifth time now. Still, I caught a glimpse of her smile... she's having fun.
Great.
I manage to catch up to her, which is no easy task given the amount of bags I'm carrying.
Kyon: So where are we going to go?
There's not a lot we can do on a rainy day...
Haruhi: I know, right? The forecast was lying again... I was really looking forward to spending more time in the sun, too. Oh well, let's just go look around some more shops.
You mean you're not done yet?! If this is all we're doing to do, we'll never be going home...
I step forward, and then... it happens.
I passed through something. I didn't know at the time what it was, but it felt like a layer of cold.
Washed.
Vegetables.
And then everything went grey. All movement stopped, living things vanished, and the world turned grey.
Even the raindrops had frozen in place. I reached out and touched one, and it shattered into smaller droplets, which slowly drifted away...
Haruhi: Kyon, what are you doing?
She's still here. Moreover, she's not grey. Haruhi Suzumiya is still in living color.
What's going on?
Haruhi: Honestly...
She locks her free arm around mine and pulls. My face hits several more droplets, and I blink involuntarily.
Haruhi: If you're just gonna stand around in a daze, we're never going to get anywhere. Take life by the horns!
You can't tell me you don't see this, Haruhi. Or are you just in denial? Or is it just me?
The headphones are kilometres away, locked tight in a steel box... there's no way it's their fault this time.
This is something else.
But why can't Haruhi tell that we're in Closed Space?
Haruhi: Hey, hey, look at that dress! Isn't the color awesome?! Hey, don't you think it would look good on me?
There are no colors, Haruhi. Only grey.
Haruhi: Hey, check out that old woman over there. Doesn't she look suspicious? I'm going to go interrogate her.
There's no one there, Haruhi. You're interrogating thin air.
...Am I going nuts? No, of course not. That's not even a possibility. If I were ever going to go nuts, I would have when Ryoko Asakura attacked me nearly half a year ago. ...Of course, that's a possibility too.
Regardless, this is... extremely strange and unnerving. I want to scream, but I can't let Haruhi know that anything's wrong.
Somewhere along the line, I must have slipped through the cracks, somehow... is this your doing?
Haruhi: What? Is there something on my face? Speak up, if that's it! You've gone all quiet.
Kyon: No, it's nothing. Everything's fine.
...Why am I in Closed Space, but she isn't?
On the edge of my peripheral vision, something moves. Reflexively, I jerk my head in that direction.
Haruhi: Kyon...?
Someone is slowly walking towards us, shattering the frozen raindrops as he goes. He's wearing a school uniform, a yellow headband, and a ghoulish smile.
...There's only one person this can be.
I turn to Haruhi to tell her to run, but... I'm knocked aside by some force.
He was all of a sudden right in front of her.
Haruhi: Geez... you're being really, really weird lately, you know that? ...Are you feeling okay?
There's no one there, Haruhi. I'm on the ground, in pain. You're talking to thin air. The only person in front of you... is him.
...He's a lot bigger than I thought he was. He's not just six foot... more like seven... no, eight.
An optical illusion? Or reality?
He clenches his huge fingers around Haruhi's white neck, and lifts her about three feet off the ground.
Haruhi: Really... cough... we had better get you... gcchk... checked out... hcck... sometime...
Get... get off her!
I leap to my feet and try to push him down, but I pass through his form as though he was merely smoke and mirrors.
The choking Haruhi continues to look at me.
Haruhi: Tha... it... you...
She looks concerned, but still happy. What else would she look like? She still believes she's on the other side, searching for the mysterious in clothing stores.
I try to pull her out of his grip, but Haruhi, too, has become only a shadow to my touch.
There's nothing I can do. And so...
Snap. Her neck breaks. Only then does he let her go, still wearing that ghoulish smile. I manage to catch her before she his the ground, but it's far too late.
Anyone with eyes could tell you that she's dead.
But still, she looks at me with that curious expression. And even though her neck is broken and her windpipe crushed, she speaks.
Haruhi: You really do look like you're gonna faint. What's the matter?
“Did you see a corpse?”
This dead body is talking to me.
How mysterious. This is definitely a very mysterious event.
Hey, Haruhi, can I go home now?
Stereotypical Stalking
For the past few hours, Asahina-san and I have been following someone. ...I'm still not sure why, though I have my suspicions.
When we got to the station at about noon, Asahina-san had looked around, clearly spotted something, and then requested that I follow her, as she “had somewhere she wanted to go”.
It wasn't long before I myself noticed who we were following... a boy in what appeared to be a Victorian-era suit, complete with Victorian-era umbrella.
...I don't normally begrudge people on their choice of clothing, but isn't that just a little odd?
At the time, I had asked Asahina-san what we were even doing, but she only shushed me nervously. Very comforting, Asahina-san.
We followed him all the way around the shopping district, down to the riverbank (where, mercifully, Haruhi was not making her presence known) up through the residential area (we even passed by my house!) and now on the road that leads up to the nearby mountain.
...Does this guy have any sense of purpose?
And so, Asahina-san and I are peeking out from behind a telephone pole, staring at the Victorian boy, who has decided to stop in the middle of the road and stare up at the sky. We look so stereotypical that I'm surprised no one's called the police yet.
By the way, I'm not an idiot. At this point, it's obvious today's outing wasn't Asahina-san's idea at all, but that of her superiors... I'm feeling a little hurt that she had to lie to me, but this is probably more important than my feelings anyway.
The Victorian boy slumps his shoulders. He's clearly depressed about something... oh, look, he's turning around.
Kyon: What do we do, Asahina-san? If he comes any closer, he's going to see us.
I felt the pattern of the rain all of a sudden. Asahina-san has vanished.
Kyon: ...Huh? Where'd she...?
I step out of the shadows to look for her... and find myself right in front of the boy we've been following this whole time.
Kyon: ...
Mitsuuru: ...
Kyon: Uh. Greetings.
His face darkens slightly. He knows.
The Ceremony
Yuki: Everything is in place.
For the past couple of hours, Nagato had been muttering strange phrases under her breath, readjusting the position of what few objects she had in the room, and, explicably, drawing a small magic circle on the floor in what appeared to be salt.
Kyon: That's good, but... is this all really necessary?
Yuki: Not exactly.
Then what was the point of all that just now!?
Yuki: It will help you to relax during the ceremony.
Kyon: ...You sure about that?
It's actually making me at lot more nervous.
Nagato instructed me to place the headphones in the middle of the circle. Since I didn't want to touch them with my bare skin, I just put the box there instead. Hey, Nagato, maybe you can exorcise my childhood while you're at it?
Yuki: Let us begin.
I followed Nagato's lead and sat across the salt circle from her, putting my hands together. ...Is this really going to work? It's not that I doubt Nagato's powers... it's just more that I doubt even she can deal with something as strange as this.
And then she began to chant.
Nagato's 'incantations' are normally incomprehensible gibberish, sped up a hundred times... but today... something is different.
I can't put my finger on it, but... it's somehow like it's not Nagato that's chanting, but... her entire apartment?
We sat like this for a few moments, which quickly turned to minutes. Nothing happened, but then...
Nagato's incantations suddenly started to make sense.
Yuki: Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage.
Uh. That doesn't sound exactly--
All of a sudden, something somewhere shifts, and I'm thrown off-balance, falling flat on my face. In front of my eyes, the circle of salt slowly starts to glow.
Yuki: Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage.
With my ear to the floor, I can hear it. A rumbling noise is gradually building up beneath the floorboards, as though the noise itself is straining to break free.
...So this is an exorcism, huh?
With a loud CRACK, the top of the box flies open, and slowly, ever so slowly, the headphones begin to rise up... and the noise beneath the floor with them.
It's screams. Thousands of screaming voices erupt at once, resounding their despair in unison. Screams that sound almost as they're taking the form of a song.
As I struggle to my knees against the growing pressure, I realize: They're not like a song. They ARE the songs. All the music that has ever passed through those headphones has now changed into screams.
Now that's just a bit eerie.
Yuki: Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage. Release this trapped soul from its innocent cage.
So is that.
...? This... isn't good.
I feel the taste of bile in the back of my throat... in fact, it seems as though I'm about to gllllllrchcchckkk.
Suddenly I'm hurling all over the floor. The mess burns as it comes up, and...
It's burning far too much.
...I'm not throwing up vomit. What's on the cracked and twisted floor isn't anything recognizable. In fact, it's even transparent.
What I have been expelling from my mouth resembles what you'd get if you took heat waves and made them semisolid. It's a pile of steaming invisible goo.
And yet. I don't feel as though this is a dream at all. This is all actually happening, right in front of me.
Nagato? Help? Please?
God, what the hell is going on?
A whirlwind has begun to whip up around the ever-screaming headphones, sucking in the solidified heat that I just disgorged.
Yuki: Perish.
And with that, the headphones cracked and twisted upon themselves into a ball of scrap and fell back into my box of memories, which immediately snapped shut.
I exhaled. And for a moment, everything was finally calm. Even the rain had stopped.
Until both Nagato and I noticed that the solidified heat was still suspended in midair. Floating, ominous.
Kyon: Nagato? What is that?
Yuki: ...Your possessor.
The stuff trickled down to the floor, and started to form translucent feet... legs... a torso... arms and hands... and head. Complete with a big, wide smile.
It tried to reach out to me, but when its hands crossed over the edge of Nagato's magic circle, it shrank back as though in pain.
Yuki: Do not worry. It cannot pass through the barrier I have constructed.
The thing looked down at its captor, apparently in displeasure. The salt circle exploded outward.
As did the walls.
We suddenly found ourselves in the middle of a desert... the same environment, in fact, where we fought that cave cricket all those months ago.
Alternate space.
Yuki: Duck. Quickly.
I duck... just in time to avoid the thing, which, snarling like a tiger, had launched itself at me. It hit a sand dune, and righting itself, prepared to pounce again.
Kyon: What the hell are you!?
That's a question I'd really like an answer to right now.
The thing chuckled.
???: I? wHaT aM i?
It spoke in the voices of two thousand singers, two thousand artists, two thousand songs.
???: I aM a MaN oF WeAlTh AnD tAsTe.
Treating the Symptoms
The rocks stopped hitting the window at about lunchtime. Since there was no call for lunch, it appears my mother and sister have gone out again. ...On a day like this?
...
It's raining really hard. I've decided to grab my blankets and huddle in the corner furthest from the window, and try to forget everything.
But I can't forget the pain in my face.
...
It's raining really hard.
---
Koizumi-san's still there, still looking up at me, although she's stopped throwing stones. Realizing how useless an umbrella like that is in the rain, she's cast it aside.
Dripping wet, she stares up at my bedroom, all alone. Her expression is full of melancholy, and, to use an old cliche, the water running down her face looks exactly like tears. ...If it wasn't raining, I'm sure it would be.
...She's going to catch a cold like that.
Kyon: Hey.
Itsuko: Ah, hello. Come to laugh at me? Or do you merely enjoy watching rain-soaked young women? I have a friend who has that exact same hobby. Maybe I'll introduce you two sometime.
Itsuko: Thank you so much for this. I mean it, you know.
Koizumi-san was towelling off in the living room. I noticed that she was rubbing her breasts extra vigorously, probably just to make me uncomfortable again. ...No, I can't keep thinking like that. The other shoe is just going to continue dropping.
I can't trust this person, but... I can't just leave her alone, either. Especially if she's just going to stand in my backyard all day.
So...
Kyon: You sure you don't want to change? I think my mom still has some old clothes...
Itsuko: I appreciate the offer, but these are fine, even if a little damp.
She sneezed cutely.
Itsuko: But why are you so insistent upon... unless... Gasp!
She covered her mouth after saying the word “gasp”.
Itsuko: You're planning to spy on me while I'm undressing, aren't you!? Naughty...
Kyon: ...Don't do that.
Itsuko: Oh, please. If you didn't react like such a prude I wouldn't say things like that to begin with.
Kyon: No, I mean... don't pretend to be cheerful when you're not. It's bad to just bottle things up.
This is just Koizumi-san's way of coping with things, but... I don't think it's healthy at all. Of course, it isn't good to just let everything out like a certain other person I know, but...
Itsuko: ...? But I am cheerful. I'm being paid (very) close attention to by a moderately attractive man inside a warm, comfortable home while the weather is terrible. What more could I want out of life?
The way she acts is... I think I've figured something out.
Kyon: You're not really Koizumi's cousin, right?
Itsuko: ...I should think that would be obvious at this point.
Kyon: You're actually his twin sister.
Itsuko: Pfffffff!
...Okay, that didn't sound stupid while it was still in my head. Stop laughing, Koizumi-san.
Itsuko: Hohohohoho... well, I suppose that's actually true, yes. Genetically, at least.
Kyon: ...
Itsuko: Listen, since you've been so good to me today, I'll tell you what. I'll find a way to hide your, ah, injury...
She taps my cheek lightly. ...It hurts.
Itsuko: And I'll even see to it that you get plastic surgery as soon as I can arrange it.
...Free facial reconstruction just for letting you borrow a towel?! Furthermore, isn't that a bit extreme?! It's only a scar... if I can just explain it to people plausibly, I don't mind that much.
Not that much.
Itsuko: Hmm, true, it is a bit of an inequivalent exchange... what else can I get out of you, I wonder?
Her stomach rumbles.
Itsuko: Ah, see? Good things come to those who wait. You can buy me lunch.
She glances out the window.
Itsuko: And a new umbrella. In pink, of course.
Why is that every woman I know uses me as a debit card?!
Passing on the Worst News
Stomach: Grooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaan.
Kyon: Not again.
Nayuki and I have decided to spend the day outside, since my mother is making me leave my door open from now on. ...What we're going to do tonight is something we haven't exactly figured out yet.
Nayuki: Don't look at me, smart guy. I wasn't the one who didn't serve dinner OR breakfast to the poor starving homeless girl camping out in his room. ...Oh gods, the pain...
Kyon: You're taking me for granted, you know. I could always NOT let you stay at my house.
Nayuki: And I could tell that girl you're so afraid of that I'm your secret lover. But you don't see me doing that.
How does she know about Haruhi!?
Nayuki: Oh please, it's written all over your face. You're horrible at hiding your true intentions. Now, I'd really like it if you bought me some lunch, unless you want to hear my stomach complaining all the rest of the day.
Like you and your stomach are any better at hiding your true intentions?
Kyon: Whatever, let's go. That cafe near the station probably has a good lunch menu.
Nayuki: Success! Oh, by the way, I'm not going to press you, but it'd be good if you'd buy me some new clothes, too. ...Yours really don't cut it.
It's true that she looks like a toddler in my oversized clothes, but... this way it just looks like I'm taking my sister out for a walk instead of a girlfriend. I could only grab one umbrella, since two would have looked suspicious, so... oddly enough, she doesn't seem embarrassed at all.
Kyon: You're bothered by the strangest things, you know that?
Nayuki: What's that supposed to mean, huh? I don't think I'm that weird.
You need to look in the mirror more often, then.
---
When we got to the now-familiar cafe-slash-restaurant, the idiot me decided that he had to use the bathroom and told me to order the cheapest thing on the menu before he left.
...You know, maybe I'm being a bit too mean? It's just that he's a somewhat convenient outlet, and something about his face just asks to be abused.
Am I the same way?
Well, whatever. I owe him a lot, but due to a kind of morbid curiosity, I kind of want to see how far I can push this before he explodes. Hence why I got the most expensive stuff on the menu instead.
Taking advantage of people is surprisingly fun. Is this how the other idiot feels all the time?
And so began my slow inevitable descent into darkness.
As I was enjoying my pasta (and the idiot me was enjoying the bathroom, apparently) I suddenly heard frantic footsteps and was suddenly greeted by a very wet and very harried-looking Itsuko.
Itsuko: Where have you been!? I've been worried sick! We've been combing the city all morning looking for you!
Ah. Crap. I knew should have contacted them, but, well... Besides, none of us have working cellphones, anyway. I can't be taking all the blame here.
Kyonko: Um, heh heh, well, I, uh. You're probably not going to believe this, but...
Itsuko: I don't need excuses right now. There's something you have to know.
She sits down opposite me, her expression completely serious. Instantly, I have a horrible premonition of what she's about to say.
Itsuko: We're not going to be able to go home.
Kyonko: ...Why? What happened? Wait, don't tell me--
Itsuko: The last report from Kimidori-kun seemed to indicate that... Haruki Suzumiya-san has destroyed our original universe completely.
Kyonko: .......Say again?
Itsuko: Suzumiya-san has destroyed everything and everyone we've come to know and love.
...No way. This is a joke, right? Haruki'd never do something like that. He's not that stupid, right?
The part of my brain containing common sense tells me that yes, he is.
This isn't a very funny joke. It's not very funny at all. No way no way, no way.
This can't be happening. I was actually starting to have fun here, too. Why did news like this have to ruin it? This isn't fair. No way.
I want to go home. I want to see my family again. I want to see my classmates again. I even want to see Haruki again... No way!
And you're telling me I can never do these things!? That's bull. You're lying. April Fool's isn't for half a year. This isn't funny, isn't funny at all! Where's the evidence of this? Who says Kimidori-senpai isn't lying? Who says you aren't lying!? Why should I believe any of you? No way no way no way in hell!
Itsuko: Just calm down and listen. Now, there might still be something we can do, but I do not--
Kyon: Oi! Doesn't that cost the most of anything here!? Do you want me to go broke?
An annoyed voice cuts through the fog of disbelief. Somehow, it's reassuring.
Somehow, it's the only thing that's managed to remain real.
And I thought I could start the new semester off peacefully. I should have known better.
I'm friends with Haruki Suzumiya. My life will never be peaceful again.
Please, god, would someone just end this?
Could it be you?
Noon
I sat in my room and did nothing of note.
I just waited.
Waited for what? I don't know the answer to that.
Soon enough, it was evening.
Only a few hours remained.
The only new stuff is the Kyonko and Itsuko scenes, as well as the default scene, of course, but I changed/added a couple lines in the others.
2010-02-25, 04:51
