Part 1: Horizon’s emotions
“Aoi. I want to hear your thoughts.
For collecting the Logismoi Oplo, … what do you allow?
Can you still say now, at this point? –That you would not rule out all-out war.”
———————-
“Right…”
Everyone looked at Aoi as he crossed his arms. And then he, after a moment, stood up, and after yet another moment slowly lowered his hips, and then stood back up, and repeated,
“—–”
“Don’t start doing squats while completely naked-!”
They yelled, and Aoi fully naked began panting as he said,
“Well, but, you know, you asked me a really hard question out of the blue.”
“– Dumb brother.”
That was when a voice flew forth. Aoi Sister, who had been combing Mukai’s hair, spoke without even a trace of a smile.
“Have you forgotten about then? Or… are you going to say those words were spoken when we were stupid?”
… Then?
For Seijun to not know what was being talked about, meant that it was something from the past that only this group would know. She didn’t know how far back they were talking about, and she inwardly tilted her head to the side, wondering what could be brought forth in the discussion about Aoi’s decision.
… Maybe one day, they’ll tell me, too.
She thought, when a new voice came flying through.
“Kimi.”
The next voice came from Asama. Seijun turned and glanced and saw that her brows were furrowed a bit,
“That was important for us, but it was a starting point. And because starting points are simple… if you use the starting point as a standard, everything else becomes relatively tough.
That’s why we should add things to the starting point, and then use what we’re left with as a standard. Do you understand what I mean?”
“Fufufu, this no-bra miko. I understand that far more than you. After all, I used to use a small cup too, and I would keep being strained by it, and by shedding the bra over and over again I came to where I am now.
Do you understand the sorrow that comes from realizing that all the bras you’ve bought to that point are useless!? And then the indignation when your mother picks that timing to take the initiative to buy an old woman’s type of bra …! Truly like ‘come and replace it, your over-brazier!’
On the other hand, aren’t you the carefree one. You receive blessing as yours grows.”
“Th- there are less good than bad when it comes to large breasts! When they grow your shoulders start cramping, your body starts tilting forward so you have to put extra effort into keeping your back straight, and–”
Asama began speaking, but Balfette, facing down, forcefully raised her right arm from the elbows on.
Hiding her expression with her frontal hair and glasses,
“I will agree that there is nothing good to come of having big breasts. That’s within acceptable bounds of pardon.”
However,
“– if your breasts are lacking, it strikes at your pride. Definitely.”
At that, everyone quieted down. And after some time,
“……”
There was applause. And at the sound of the clapping of hands, Masazumi couldn’t help but nod her head with agreement, but,
“Ah, hey, let’s get back on topic.”
Come to think of it, she did not know their past.
And they understood that too. That was why Aoi Sister shrugged her shoulders, and asked,
“Dumb brother.”
“Mm.”
The completely naked brother turned to her and scratched his head. Then, he looked at his sister and,
“Haven’t forgotten. But–”
He tried to continue. But at that moment. Abruptly, Aoi Sister said:
“Fufu, dumb brother. Then that’s fine. You need not say any more.”
Aoi Sister smiled and cut short the conversation.
———————-
Huh? Everyone seemed to stared, but the sister narrowed her eyes and curled her mouth into an upward crescent moon.
“Because, political stuff isn’t my area. –You know? I’m fine knowing that dumb brother hasn’t forgotten his own promise.”
Her lips clearly formed a smile as she spoke.
“Sister and brother’s confirmation ends there. Now, here, I have no intention of letting the Far East’s political confirmation take precedence over this. Right, –dumb brother, I’ll go ahead and add some explanation without you, but it’s probably like this, right?
… you haven’t forgotten the starting point. But, other things have begun attaching themselves to it, and dumb brother has likewise not been able to gather his dumb, simple thoughts, right? If I’m wrong, prostrate before me.”
However, the fool mumbled, slightly troubled.
“It was simple up to the point where Horizon came back.”
However,
“But after that, it doesn’t suit me, but I started thinking too much. Like, frankly I got too excited and got carried away and I need to say ‘stay!’ at myself. Nee-chan you get it? The level of beast-ness where the wild beast inside you wants you to take it out for a walk so it’s barking and yelping as it rubs itself against you…!”
“Fufufu dumb brother, now I get that your wild beast is like a Spitz. Like a cute dog, how nice.”
And after a bit of odd talk about dogs.
“Well, gather your thoughts soon. As Howard said during the noon conference, –we’re having a conference with Britain after the first day of the festival a week from now, where we’ll decide how Musashi will proceed.
You don’t have to be absolutely clear by then, but I want you to at least know ‘what’s alright what’s not alright.”
Even if you don’t decide, the world’s moving, and we can be forced to decide.
I’d appreciate it if you can figure it out by the time we have that conference.”
“Yeah, then well, I want to have something to say by then, but,”
Aoi looked at Masazumi, then turned toward everyone else, and spoke.
“I’m dumb, so I can’t really say what exactly to do and the likes. But, I’d prefer to never budge from knowing what’s right. So,”
He looked at Masazumi again,
“Can you wait a bit? I’ll definitely come up with an answer.”
And then he decides to ask Horizon out on the date. Why?
“Well, because –and it’s embarrassing to admit, but.”
He took a deep breath, and positioned himself so that he could only see her,
“Horizon, I, want to look at you, talk to you about stuff. Because we skipped all of that and went straight to confession time, right? So I want to sit down and just talk to you about stuff.”
“Talk, about?”
Horizon tilted her head to the side. And then he said welllll, as a precursor to thinking, and then,
“I want to, for Horizon, … I want to reclaim all the things that I made you lose, right? But, I wondered how Horizon feels.”
“How?”
“Well, you know, … Horizon doesn’t have much interest in emotions. I made you cry at the Mikawa battle, and if you find that sort of thing rough, then you might think, there’s no need for them.”
“To be direct,”
Horizon immediately replied without giving any time for thought.
“–Currently, Horizon believes emotions to be unnecessary.”
———————-
[Nate] saw that he was looking at the sky as opened his mouth. His words:
“Yeah, sounds about right. Emotions, you don’t really need’em. They’re a pain.”
Mitotsudaira realized that [he didn't die from sadness] due to his words. That Horizon wouldn’t want emotions, he had probably long expected this.
… after all, they walk parallel paths.
Horizon’s decision was born out of being an automata, out of preferring efficiency. That was why, it seemed, Kimi sent inquiring words toward Horizon.
“Horizon, the wolf seems like she’s going to become a guard dog, so can you tell your future sister? –why, they’re unnecessary?”
“Jud., to be direct, Horizon has spent the past year without them. Horizon determines that there was no problem. Then, Horizon determines that the effort of retrieving them is simply adding accessories to daily life.”
Right, Toori mumbled, still staring at the sky.
“Well, even if Horizon doesn’t want them, I decided long ago that I’d retrieve everything.”
He lowered his gaze, staring at the sand. And then, scratching his head with his right hand,
“Since it was my fault, I have to get them back. –You know, like replacing broken goods.”
———————-
Replacing broken goods.
Mitotsudaira quickly looked away to hide the fact that she was about to burst out laughing at his word choice. She could hear others suck in their breath for the same reason, as they reacted the same way.
… why did he feel so much responsibility for such strange reasons?
But, she could tell he was desperate. He was the type of person to think nothing of his actions, but in the end he would always stand before you looking at you straight in the eye.
That was why this was so hard for him, Mitotsudaira thought.
If he wasn’t so fixated on where he would end up standing, he would be able to enjoy life more.
So when she stifled her laughter and looked up, she noticed that he had been looking toward them. With the warm gaze that looked over them over Horizon’s shoulder, he began, you know.
“Nate probably already started noticing, or maybe you heard from someone else or something, but,
We, … me, Shiro, Neshinbara, Tenzou and such, when the Logismoi Oplo were distributed among other countries, we thought ‘that’s suspicious.’ I mean, Horizon’s dad, Motonobu created ‘great sins,’ after all. …we thought, if you combine all of that, you get a person, right? Then Horizon, even if you didn’t come back, even if Mikawa never exploded, we, …would piggyback on the end of the world and negotiate with every country, not necessarily for Musashi or the Far East or anything, somehow we’d gather the Logismoi Oplo, and then you know, Eight Sins Gattai…! or like, Eight Steps Combine – True Great Sin! or like… I mean, sorry! Really, sorry! We really said those things and if it rubs you the wrong way sorry please don’t glare at me-!”
“How many times do I need to tell you I’m not glaring. –This is the first.”
“Nuooh that’s so hard to respond to!!”
Everyone went and placated them.
And then after a moment, he sat back down, and looked at Horizon and said.
“Well, we were scheming, to gather them all in your likeness, and then go from there.”
“Then…”
She began, but everyone could tell where she was going. What he was trying to do, originally, was something that was done without her. Then,
“Horizon was unnecessary for what Toori-sama and others were doing. Then please stop calling Horizon into this place and claiming that the reason is to retrieve emotions.”
After all, Mitotsudaira imagined her continuing, but Horizon continued for her.
“After all, everyone getting hurt in conflict, ends up being ‘because Horizon existed.’
Whether Horizon wants emotions or not. To go on a date to confirm this, is that because you want to make everything Horizon’s fault?”
“Of course not.”
Then, Horizon said.
“You don’t need Horizon. Horizon doesn’t need to be–”
with everyone, she was about to continue.
And then Mitotsudaira saw. A tear drop from the edge of Horizon’s eyes.
… what?
Why, she thought, and then she realized.
Horizon has the emotion of grief. That was the one and only that had been returned. Then,
… Why.
“Horizon–”
She spoke.
“– doesn’t need the unnecessary.”
———————-
Mitotsudaira sucked in her breath at Horizon’s tears and words.
… This–.
Was different from the automata’s determination of efficiency, and was more a decision that was inefficient and which came from her soul.
Even if efficiency dictated that it would be preferable that she did not exist,
… for her to become something that never existed, for her to become something that wasn’t needed…, is a sad thing.
Mitotsudaira knew of that sadness.
… she had come here alone from home.
However, Horizon did not have memories, and did not experience much life. She had just the basic knowledge of automata, and knowledge she’d gleaned from books, so she was like a young lady with only superficial knowledge, but,
… having herself become unnecessary, just that alone was enough, …to make her feel sad.
Like a child crying to make her parents look at her.
———————-
“Let’s go on a date, Horizon.”
“I do not understand what you are saying.”
She looked at him with narrowed eyes, but he raised his right thumb and eyebrows and laughed.
“Idiot, hey, you can’t say that after crying! Alright? You’re going on a date with me, and then we’re going to look at things, eat things, play around, grope breas- ahyan! S- sorry I got carried away please forgive me. And, to get back on topic, umm, in other words–”
He said.
“Let’s test and see if you become interested in emotions.”
“I inquire, test…, and then what?”
“If you become interested, let’s go retrieve the Logismoi Oplo together, Horizon. And if you can’t, then make some food for us and wait. That’s more than enough, I think.
Because, you’re here, and for me, you’re already ‘here.’ Then, that goes for everyone. That’s why, if, if, okay? If you become interested in emotions, and end up wanting to retrieve them for yourself–”
He breathed.
“We’ll, carry on your expectations. And you will have expectations of us, as we all move forward. In the end, each person, gets what they want, and the powers of everything get doubled, right?”
“… if, Horizon cannot become interested?”
“Then we can just go at it singularly, right? That’s normal. Everything above that is bonus.”
Horizon’s eyes remained narrowed at his words. However,
“… A dangerous thought. After all, you are telling Horizon, that if Horizon wants emotions, to go start a World War.”
“Hey hey, World Domination is mine. –You should come up with something else, parallel.
World Domination is all mine, so you should look for something more fun, even if it’s parallel.
So to get to that point, let’s go on a date, to see if you become interested in emotions, alright?”
“Do you intend to carry a doll outdoors?”
No, he said, as he took her hand.
“I’m holding your hand and leading you outside.”
Part 2: Toori’s decision
There is a plaza made of stone.
There is a fountain in the center, and it is surrounded by tall buildings, a plaza in the middle of a main street.
Two shadows sat on the stone make of the fountain. A boy and a girl. The girl, an automata with silver hair, wore a hat with feather decorations along with a sleeveless British uniform, while the boy wore a black, Far East uniform.
The girl looked around at the festival carts lining the sides of the plaza,
“Now, we have come all the way around back to the center of the city, so what shall we do. Toori-sama.”
“Jud., alright listen Horizon. –according to nee-chan’s manual, now that I’m sitting beside you, I subtly place my arm around your shoulder, and whisper something that fits the mood!”
He said, and Horizon placed an elbow to Toori’s shoulder. With her narrowed eyes, she looked at him,
“Arm around shoulder. Yes yes, like this. … And? Toori-sama, is this fun? What sort of mood is this currently? Now, please.”
“S- shit, I feel like a loser dog mood–!”
However, Toori pulled out a B5-size sheep-skin date manual from his coat pocket. He looked down at it,
“That’s weird. According to nee-chan’s orders we should have kissed three times by now.”
“To be frank, even if Kimi-sama’s battle plan is correct, you are not executing it properly.
See, here, ‘look good at the firing range and increase favor points,’ but earlier some fool couldn’t hit anything and went, ‘that’s odd, does this thing really have bullets?’ and peered into the gun and the employees all took off and ran.
Because, no matter how you want to spin it, that looked only like some fool couldn’t hit anything and wanted to commit suicide.”
“Huh? I thought that got some laughs but was I wrong? The shopkeep even gave us a stuffed animal. See, the ‘evil fairy teletubby Akako,’ the food-eating version.”
“Seeing as how that fairy was recreated from the records discovered in the ruins, Britain is quite a deep and fascinating place.”
However, Toori looked at the warnings written by the girls in the manual. Yet most of them amounted to “if you do anything weird you’re getting punished.”
Hmm, Toori leaned back and took a breath, then looked at Horizon.
“Right now, there’re no bothersome people nor straightmen, so I feel like I’m in an advantageous position, but what do you think?”
“Jud., there are no buffers nor places to run from Horizon’s attacks. To somehow believe that this reality is advantageous for you, is quite worrisome.”
“… huh? For Horizon…”
Toori asked. You know, he scratched his head, and feeling awkward,
“For Horizon, is everyone else –on my side?”
———————-
Horizon quietly replied to Toori’s question.
“I have not had a long-enough relation to distinguish between sides. However, currently, Horizon’s friends, as according to confirmed acknowledgement, would only be the kuromo (the black balls) and Masazumi-sama.”
———————-
“–Jud., automata are specifically designed to help people.”
At that, Toori’s face broke into a smile. But, Horizon furrowed her brows,
“… what’s with that face, how inexplicable.”
“Horizon is Horizon, I thought.”
“Jud., logically that is true and cannot be false. However, Toori-sama, why–”
Horizon began asking.
“Horizon determines based on pattern, but why do you create the expression of a smile? Toori-sama.”
———————-
“–why I smile when Horizon is Horizon?”
I don’t really know, Toori said while smiling.
“It’s the same as eating, Horizon.”
? Horizon tilted her head to the side, and then tilted her head to the other side, and then,
“Eating… when you eat, it is lost.”
Then, she stood up. She looked around the festival carts scattered about the plaza, then greeted Toori,
“– this festival will not continue forever, either. It will end, then disappear. … No, Horizon determines that there is nothing that does not end. Similarly, even if you have a relationship like a friend, for instance due to graduation or moving, as soon as distance is created the friendship tends to change.
And, including all of those, everything, makes you sad, when they are lost.
And to gain, to go, to engage in such things, is there a meaning to it?
Horizon does not want to become sad. Then what Horizon should do is to live a conservative, repetitive life. With a minimal amount of human relationships, with the minimal amount of meaning, … is that not enough?”
She took a breath.
“Toori-sama wants Horizon to become interested in emotions.
However, emotions are born toward existence. –There is an assumption that you have a relationship with something. And, the emotion of sadness, is born out of the loss of said relationship. At the end of every relationship remains loss, and this cannot be avoided. Then–”
Then,
“That which requires relationships – ‘emotions’ – Horizon cannot think of it as necessary.
To have a relationship with someone, with something, will inevitably lead to different paths which leads to sadness.
And Horizon does not want to gain sadness, so Horizon rejects everything else. Other emotions, relations with people and things, Horizon rejects everything. –So how is it?”
Horizon asked.
“If you are left with loss and sorrow in the end, what reason is there to have emotions, to have relations for emotions?”
———————-
Horizon asked.
“Toori-sama lost Horizon once.
Horizon reasons that you must have felt sorrow, –how is it?”
She asked.
“If you are with Horizon, then eventually, you will lose Horizon, then be sad.
Even so, does Toori-sama seek to have a relationship with Horizon?”
She said, as she looked at Toori.
However, he was not where she looked, on the stone fountain. Where, she thought, and then she noticed that she was sitting on the stone tiling. It seemed he was trying to tie a string from the stuffed animal they’d received to one of her hardpoints on her hip,
“Stop. –It is unnecessary for Horizon.”
“Why?”
“–It will eventually be lost, and is unnecessary for living, so Horizon has no need for it.”
“Tsk, if you said it will eventually be lost, I was going to negotiate using the tactic of not needing clothes…”
Hmmhmm, he nodded, and he finished tying the stuffed animal to her. As she thought that an unnecessary weight had been placed on her – however light – Toori stood and smiled.
“You know, honestly, even if you were to take good care of this, it’ll become all dusty within a month, …and after a while you might not even want to look at it anymore and throw it away.”
“Jud., then, what meaning is there to such a thing? It’s just forcing sadness upon Horizon.”
Right, Toori said. However,
“But, you’ll remember that you received this, that you had it on you, right? from here on forth.”
“Jud., automata memory is perfect. Yes, –during preparation of the school festival, you kept staring at Masazumi-sama’s butt as she climbed the ladder, a total of twenty three times.”
“Wrong it was 25, the 7th and 15th happened while you were go-, s, sorry sorry Horizon-sama, … wait my memory’s pretty good too isn’t it?”
“Hoho, I see you are trying to change the subject.”
“Y- you’re the one who changed it!!”
“–within acceptable bounds. So, … Horizon’s memory, however, what is the meaning of that?”
Right, Toori scratched his head.
“I can’t really explain myself well, but. When you died once before, I was pretty down? But, nee-chan and the other brutes helped me get back on my feet.
That was when I realized something.”
That was,
“Even with you, whenever something happened I realized I thought, ‘if Horizon were here, she would do this, and then say this.’”
“Then?”
Jud., Toori said.
“Even if you’re nowhere, you’re with me.”
———————-
Toori answered.
“When there’s loss, of course you’re sad. Because we have the emotion of sorrow.
But even when I was just a kid, by having relations with you, by talking to you, by brushing by you, by spending time with you, I could know what type of person you are.
Because we had such a relationship, even when you disappeared, I wasn’t just sad. Even after that, …the you that I know stayed by my side.”
But, he said. And he glanced at the sky,
“I, grew taller, but I’m still dumb, but the guys around me, they became really mature.
What the Horizon inside me could do, wanted to do, everyone started being able to do, and you know, forget once, after several times, I started to, you know, think.
Maybe I should let Horizon free.
The Horizon who was with me as a kid, who stayed by my side when I was sad, couldn’t be with me for much longer, … and it’s not like I could just magically fix that.
So, after gathering the Logismoi Oplo, after giving them back to the Horizon inside me, I decided that I would give the old me to Horizon.”
“The old me, you say…?”
What do you mean, she asked, and Toori nodded.
“Next to the tombstone for you, I would place another one, –and I would continue living the next me.
Not starting over. Continuing. Just that, I would say thank you to the old me and to you, to try to find a new person like you.”
Don’t tell anyone though, Toori said.
“I haven’t told anyone what I just said. … though, to be honest they probably figured.”
“Jud., I understand. It is also no longer necessary. However–”
However, Horizon said.
“… in other words, Toori-sama wants a relationship with Horizon, because even if Horizon is lost, you can store in your memories all of Horizon’s action patterns?
That even if Horizon is lost, you can create a replica in your mind.”
Then, she placed her fingers on the stuffed animal by her waist.
“In order to maintain a minimal relationship, a single instance of a reaction to every incident is sufficient. Then, after gathering all information, Horizon is free to die.”
“Nah, that’s wrong.”
Toori said, still smiling.
“We’re not having fun so that you can die. It’s the opposite.
If you have fun, even if someone dies, you naturally get the extra change.”
“However.”
Horizon said.
“– how can you get the feeling of fun?”
———————-
Horizon stated.
“The Logismoi Oplo gave Horizon the negative feeling of sadness.
The Logismoi Oplo did not give Horizon a positive emotion.
Then, even if we were to gather the Logismoi Oplo, Horizon will be filled with negative emotions.”
Then,
“– I don’t need them.”
She said, and then,
“—”
She cried.
It appears that she was weak to the word unnecessary, Horizon determined. The Logismoi Oplo were created using her emotions as a base, so if that is a negative emotion, then she thought even if it belonged to her, she did not want it.
Believing that rejecting herself was correct, yet she felt that if she rejected herself, then who would accept her? However,
“That’s why we’re returning your emotions to you, Horizon.”
“…?”
She wiped away her tears and looked at him, and saw that he had stuck a few roasted apples from a nearby cart in a bag and bought them.
She accepted one, and placed it in her mouth to forget her tears,
“Good?”
Jud., Horizon nodded. And then she thought of responding to her question,
“It has strong acidity, but when it’s roasted, the sweetness also becomes strong. –Horizon can determine that this falls under delicious.”
Alright, Toori gave the old man behind the cart a thumbs up. The old man also raised his thumb and smiled. And then the storekeep took a green apple from a basket,
“Here, if this is your first time tasting these, take one that’s not roasted, too. If you like it, head over to the market. Though if you’re eating it raw I recommend eating it with a salad, so take a look at the vegetables, too.
Also, –don’t make girls cry, brother.”
Aye aye, Toori caught the apple that was thrown to him, and then patted Horizon’s shoulder. And then he turned his back to her as if he meant to walk around the plaza.
“Do you hate negative emotions, Horizon?”
“Jud., –Sorrow alone, is sufficiently painful.”
“Then you have positive emotions, Horizon.”
“Why?”
Because, he continued.
“If you only have negative emotions, you wouldn’t struggle against it – you’d accept it. And then you’d soak yourself in it.
But you’re struggling against it. That means you have positive emotions.”
“Then.”
Horizon hit him with a question she’d asked herself many a time. Placing a hand over her breast,
“What exactly is a positive emotion!?”
She took a breath,
“What is the positive emotion that Horizon simultaneously gained with the negative emotion?”
In response to her question, well, she did get a response. That was, his, while scratching his head,
“Well to be honest, I don’t really know myself-”
I want to punch you, Horizon honestly thought.
<Insert pigeon scene here>
“Hey, Horizon”
“What is it?”
She asked back, with the sound of pigeons flapping their wings firmly in her ears, and he shot back another question.
“– Are you, feeling sad right now?”
———————-
Horizon tilted her head at his question. Of course she wasn’t feeling sad, how could she be? What exactly is he asking, she thought, as she answered,
“I am not sad, … but why?”
“Then, Horizon.”
His smile broadened as he spoke.
“If you’re not sad, it means you’re happy, Horizon.”
———————-
I think, Toori thought to himself. But, however,
“Probably, because you started from zero, you don’t realize it. That not having anything is normal. But, that’s actually not true. Emotions react to everything and anything, you know.”
“… is that so?”
THat is so.
“Immediately, man, immediately! When you’re walking next to me and your breasts jiggle pewwwww! When I see the sides of your breasts through your armpits boooom! When you crouch and your legs- s, sorry I got carried away…!”
“Hurry up and keep talking.”
Yes yes, Toori did a quick standing prostrate as he continued.
“Whether the emotions from the great sins are giving you the emotion of rejection, or whether the great sins are just reacting to emotions that were within you from the start I don’t know.
But you have an emotion, a will to struggle against the emotions of the great sins.”
“Then the emotion toward sadness–”
Yeah, Toori thought about the past. About an answer to Horizon’s question. That was,
“To wish for happiness, which isn’t sadness. Which is like, thinking of nothing happening as happiness, which is a really foolish and luxurious emotion I think, but that’s probably–”
He couldn’t explain it very well, but,
“As usual, I think, isn’t it.”
———————-
“As usual…”
It was hard to understand his expression, but she understood what he meant.
That feeling of relief, after being freed from the a state of sorrow, was probably what he meant.
… Like–.
Like when she’d gained the feeling of sorrow, when she realized the meaning behind losing her father, and crumbled. He had stayed by her side then, so,
… she was able to withstand it, was she allowed to say that?
Even now she would sometimes think of her father, and beat herself up over why she felt nothing whenever she crossed paths with him. However,
… Horizon–.
She lifted her arms, and the flock of pigeons that rested on them. And their flapping of wings hid her expression as Horizon asked.
“A Horizon that does not crumble and cry and scream over losing her father, as she did the first time… is a cruel person, is she not?”
“A parent that demands the child to keep crying and screaming is really mafioso, no? And if I can say another thing, don’t parents say? –don’t cry forever.”
She could definitively hear his words through the beating of wings.
“If you aren’t crying anymore, it means you’re fighting against the sadness.
And your father didn’t die to make you sad.
He said to gather your emotions and save the end of the world.”
“Then Horizon…”
“Don’t rush yourself, Horizon. Actors who jump at the first opportunity to use a joke can’t use the joke well.
… wait, that means me doesn’t it? Because I jumped at the Logismoi Oplo immediately upon seeing it at Mikawa!? Seriously!?”
”…..”
“… ah, are you angry!? You’re angry, Horizon!”
“I said I don’t have the emotion of anger. What is this boy going on about.”
“I feel like you’re really angry!!”
In any case, Horizon mumbled. The apple lost its shape, and she felt the weight of the pigeons that stopped flapping their wings,
“Regardless of what sort of negative emotion I may get, Horizon has positive emotions to struggle against it, … and right now, because I started from zero, I just don’t realize it?”
“Jud., because, no one can laugh just by being told to laugh. It’s the same thing.”
You know, he said.
“Let’s make a grave for your dad. When you’ve calmed down a bit.
I’ll say it again, but your dad didn’t die to make you sad. So you don’t need to feel sad, but we’re going to be busy with fun things from now on, so let’s make a grave to make a visible sign to remember your mafioso dad. And when you’ve got time to spare, look at it and feel sad.
And when you stop being sad, go greet him at Bon or New Years or whatnot, and talk to him.
– Lately I’ve been having fun doing this or that. Or can I do the reporting, as his son in law!? F- father!!”
This boy sometimes went into his own little world and didn’t come back, and this was one of those times.
In any case, she gazed at him with the pigeons, and eventually he seemed to have come back,
“- wow! Perfect! … like that! Right!?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
There there, the fool said. And then he continued,
“You’re fine, Horizon. You’ll be able to fight off any negative emotion. After all, your dad was mafioso, so he added Rebellious Age II with extra toppings.
Then all that’s left is for you to want to fight off any negative emotion.”
“If I fight them off, what happens?”
“I said it before, didn’t I? –Once you’ve gotten everything back, all that’s left is for you to gain a lot of happiness.”
“That’s–”
Is that good, Horizon thought?
Could she be able to overcome crumbling to sorrow?
She could not know. Their conversation was made up entirely of assumptions and predictions, and had nothing conclusive. That was when no matter how many answers they come up with, she could not make any judgment. Furthermore,
“Can Horizon, … for the sake of her own selfish wants, add to the war of the world?”
“Who knows. I mean, I don’t know.
If we gather the Logismoi Oplo which were made using your emotions, then we can save the world. That’s why, that’s already enough for you to join in retrieving the Logismoi Oplo, I think anyways.”
However,
“You want to avoid people dying, countries being demolished over your want of emotions, right?’
Jud., Horizon nodded. Because,
“The grief when father died, I would be spreading it for my selfishness.
Horizon can determine that this thought process is paradoxical.”
“Right? So, just think about it.”
“About what?”
“Jud., if, if, right? If you want to gather the Logismoi Oplo, and by gathering them you can save people from sadness and negative emotions–”
He took a deep breath.
“Then, you can war.”
———————-
”—”
As opposed to her, who’d been rendered speechless, the fool seemed not to understand the magnitude of his words, as he suggested it like a quick idea.
“It doesn’t matter when. If you feel like you can do that, at any time, just tell us.
Until then, we’ll be fighting a war on our own. If you can accept yourself, and can stand on your feet, then tell us that you want to war with us.
And at that time, probably, we’ll really, truly be — together.”
Horizon could not immediately reply to his words.
Would it be possible for her to save anything by wanting war?
Just when would it be that she could find confirmation of that saving?
She did not know.
She did not know, but Horizon crafted words.
The thoughts that she’d gained her. That there are means of fighting back against sadness, that she has positive emotions. And including that there was space for her to find meaning to war, what she should say here, was neither rejection nor acceptance, but,
“Horizon will defer judgment, but –Toori-sama, what will you do?”
“Yeah, I’ve decided. Now, sort of.”
“… what?”
“I’m warring.”
Because, he smiled and sounded happy.
“You won’t lose to Great Sins. Then, I want to see you when you have all your emotions back.”
“– even if Horizon does not want that?”
That’s a dumb question, he said.
“Who cares. If that causes you to hate me, then that just means I go back to the start. –After I return everything to you, I’ll continue the next me somewhere.
It was a short time, but it was a lot of fun, I’d think. I would say thank you to you and all the idiots that helped me, and then go look for a new person like you.”
Alright? he said.
“I’m doing this all of my own accord. –I decided. I’d decided. Since when I killed you. And since when I saw you again.”
And then,
“That’s my way of exorcising my greatest sadness.”
Part 3: Horizon’s decision
This is ep 9. The anime kept a lot of the lines, but I don’t think you quite appreciate them until you read the previous two conversations between the two, because this “wraps it up.” The last part would be in the last episode, but I think that one doesn’t add as much, as it has mostly to do with the effects of Greed upon her newfound wants.
Toori clenched his fists too and yelled.
“Then there’s no helping it! Hey, Horizon. Ask him. Ask Tenzou your question.”
Jud., the one-haired automata turned to Tenzou without emotion. Her question, as she tilted her head to the side,
“It may be a redundant question, but, …why, are you going to save the person named Mary-sama?”
That was indeed a question that had been asked many times. He’d asked himself the same question over and over again.
However, the pondering would always end at the wound on his back. The meaning behind it was certain, so,
“I want to go take Lady Mary.”
“Take? Even if the person in question does not desire it, and wants death instead?”
It was like a parrot’s repetition, but Tenzou nodded.
“If Lady Mary is lost, I will be sad.”
That was it. It had nothing to do with how others, her included, felt.
“I do not like sadness. –Shinobi (忍) are when you hide the heart (心) beneath the blade (刃). It is a well-designed letter. That is why shinobi are often told to restrain their emotions. However,”
However,
“From the letter shinobi, the letter kokoro (heart) has never disappeared.”
“Then–”
She asked.
“In Horizon’s case, if Horizon were to be lost, … would someone have been sad?”
Not just Tenzou, but everyone here answered her question.
“… Jud.!”
Jud. Jud. Jud., they all said the same word that overlapped each other. That their decision was not a mistake.
“Then.”
Horizon asked. There was a bit of confusion mixed in,
“If Mary-sama is lost, would Horizon, too, be saddened?”
Everyone looked at him. How is it, they seemed to ask.
But the answer had already been known.
“Jud., even if you do not know her now, when the time comes that you know of her, –absolutely.
You would think that we had lost a good person, that you would have wanted to speak to her, you would absolutely think that.”
“Then.”
Then?
“–if Tenzou-sama saves Mary-sama, would that wish be granted.”
Her words were more like a confirmation than a question.
“Likewise, if, Horizon were to, choose to save people from all loss, then would Horizon be able to avoid feeling sorrow?”
… an astonishing statement…!
Horizon herself may not have realized it, but what she said was insane.
After all, the idiot sang the tune of conquering the world, and by his side his partner began singing the tune of saving the world.
… and that was simply because she did not want to feel sad!
Then, abruptly, Horizon nodded. She bowed her head to him,
“I am sorry, Tenzou-sama. The question just now, Horizon was given enough guidance to generate a solution within Horizon. That is–”
That is,
“Toori-sama, if Toori-sama is going to conquer the world to gather the Logismoi Oplo to save the world, in order to give negative emotions to Horizon and end up at happiness, then Horizon states, from the parallel line:”
She took a breath.
“It is parallel. –Horizon determines that Horizon will save the world from the greatest loss called the end of the world, and then, having no need of the negative emotions gained, will end up at happiness.”
2012-10-03, 02:52
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