The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya [Spoilers Aplenty]

[Ithekro]

Yep....Madness.

I'd recommend Umineko...but you'll just get that Endless Eight feeling again...just with more bloodshed if Higurashi is even close to pattern.

[CrowKenobi]

So... now that Kaisos has taken his football and gone home, what can be worked on in the meantime?

Nevermind, he came back.

[Ithekro]

The original project? Or drive ourselves to greater madness by going each loop of Endless Eight animated?

[Kagedanji]

So, five weeks left of endless eight, unless the next ep or an ep after that shortens the next five/four iterations. See you in a month and week at most Kaisos.

[Jintor]

To be frank we've got a tonne of stuff that can still be written/done for now. There's about a month or two's worth of buffer content already existing, if we can be bothered to start writing scenes Kaisos hasn't written yet (but has plotted).

[ClockWorkAngel]

Everything begins to dissolve once again, let us wait for the end. Summer time progress awaits, rest up for now, before the great Troll which is TokyoAnimation unleashes another wave of depression!

Doom! Doom! Run for your livesssss!

I propose we all take alittle bit of a breather while the Trolling of Suzumiya Haruhi ends.

[vivify93]

Uh...what?

I'm sorry, but what? Where did we hear this again? I'm out of the loop apparently.

[wittyusername]

...;__;

Man, I was already all "hargle blargle goddamn KyoAni", and this didn't help. Oh well, though, shit tends to happen occasionally, and I guess it just...occurred.

Yeah, I'm less coherent than usual when I'm trying to avoid lapsing into yet more "blergh friggin' Endless Eight."

[besieger]

When it hits the fan...

[vivify93]

Uh, wow. Just found out where we heard this from--and this sucks.

Hmm, another project I'm following dies down. Now what...

[CrowKenobi]

We soldier on! The obvious thing is to cross a later bridge and figure out how the genderbended version of Endless Eight would work...

To start off: I think Haruki's list of things to do would be, in some ways, very different than Haruhi's. Would he include some more "manly" things for Mitsuuru to do, what would be the equivalent to the buying of new yukatas?

[besieger]

Buying Hakamas?

[Tyabann]

Due to the original author deciding that mercyragequitting is for losers (cookie if you actually get the reference) the Haruhi Seitenkan Visual Novel project "The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya" is once again open.

And I knew you'd fuck up my carefully plotted plot if I left.

Yes I'm a baby shut up.

So, to start with...

Spoiler for September the Second, Day One, Universe 1: Classroom- Normality:

Normality
[Note: Yes, I changed the title from what it was in the flowchart no I don't care this works better.]

Somehow, no matter what time I come to school, that person is always there before me.

Of course, I'm late today, so it's no surprise at all that Haruhi Suzumiya is already sitting in the seat behind mine, looking at me with the grin of the devil plastered on her face.


Haruhi: Good morning, Kyon. You're late!


How many times have I heard that over the past few months? Let's see... we've gone on... four or five excursions outside school, she says this to me whenever I'm late for class so add like a hundred... hundred and ten or so... wait, crap, I'm forgetting last month... screw it, I'm not bothering to count things I don't remember.

That was a long sentence.


Haruhi: Hey, stop muttering to yourself and sit down. Don't you have anything to say to me?


One time, I tried coming about an hour and a half before school began. She was there before me then too, saying something about being unable to sleep the previous night or something like that. It's the exact same whenever I try to arrive early for one of our brigade outings. I'm becoming convinced that reality bends itself around her to always make it so that our clocks run differently.

In fact, the only time I can remember ever showing up before her was a couple days after the gah not thinking about that either.


Haruhi: Who said you could ignore me?! I'm the Chief, the Chief! You have to listen to me! Say something!

[Note: I can't write any of the original SOS girls worth a damn. This is why I want other people to work on the fluff in their routes... Apologies.]


…

[DECISION POINT HERE]

1)Say “Yo” and sit down.
2)Strike up a conversation.


Still, Normality
[Note: Yes, I changed it again. Why? Because looking through the scene titles I must have been seriously high when writing them or something, because they SUCK.]


Kyon: Yo.

Haruhi: Whe- That's not something you say in the morning!

Kyon: It's not? I thought that's exactly what people said in the morning.


Even though she's aggravating, it's good that she's not in a bad mood again. But I guess that isn't really a surprise, either.


Haruhi: 'Yo' is a normal thing to say in the morning. Normal. Ordinary. Boring. Like you.


Which is exactly what I want.


Haruhi: Haah? And what, exactly, do you think the SOS Brigade is about?

Kyon: 'Finding aliens, time travelers, and espers, and having fun with them'?

Haruhi: Well, yeah, that's true, but it's more about having a sense of adventure and freedom, a will to go beyond what people call 'normal' and really and truly be yourself!

Kyon: If you had put that on a flyer and passed it out I'm sure we'd have more members right now.

Haruhi: What are you--? Grr, I'm not talking to you anymore.


Haruhi crosses her arms and glares out the window, leaving me with a few precious minutes of silence.


...She, of all of us, doesn't know that 600 years passed during that summer.

She doesn't know what it's like to be us.

She never will.


IF DebtSlave = True THEN

Later, in English class, I felt the distinct pain of a mechanical pencil being pushed into the space in between my shoulder blades.

I gave it a minute or two before I responded, in which the pencil continued to cause pain.


Kyon: What?


I thought you weren't talking to me anymore.


Haruhi: Hey, don't forget that you're buying me lunch today.


It never ends!


Abnormality
[Note: About half of the titles on day one are pure shit, half are not. I guess I was like, half high? The original one here still sucked though.]

Maybe I'll indulge her whims for once.

Hey, I can introduce my theory to the suspect herself!


Kyon: You ever find that the clock on your cellphone is running faster than every other clock?

Haruhi: Not really. Why? Is yours?


An instant response!


Kyon: No, mine would the opposite. For some reason, whenever I'm supposed to meet up with you, I'm inevitably late, and I was just wondering...

Haruhi: You sure it's not because you're incredibly lazy?

Kyon: No, I'm sure it's uh, mysterious events at work. Yeah.

Haruhi: …


In a swift motion, she grabs my watch arm and pulls her cellphone out of her skirt pocket.


Haruhi: ...They're the exact same time. Nope, nothing mysterious there.

Kyon: Oh. That's too bad.


...Hey, wait a minute. Don't you find something incredibly wrong with the conversation we just had!?

Weren't the roles reversed just a little? And isn't having the exact same time on two different clocks mysterious in and of itself?

In fact, wouldn't that confirm my theory!?


Kyon: Maybe the universe, uh, twisted itself in that moment to make--

Haruhi: Stop trying, Kyon. I appreciate your effort and all, but mysteriously wrong clocks are small-time in the realm of the mysterious.
[Note: Imagine her wiggling her fingers when she says “mysterious” here. It helps.]


I didn't know there was a Realm of the Mysterious... wait, no, please don't let it be real, please.


Haruhi: Plus, you don't always show up after me every time. There was that one...


She stops suddenly, and gets an odd look on her face. (I actually can't describe it in words.)


Haruhi: Nevermind. Anyway, since you're starting to put more effort into your job as an SOS Brigade member--


Job!?


Haruhi: --That I've decided to promote you one rank from “Lowest Ranked Member” to “Second Lowest Ranked Member”!

Kyon: Really?


Crap, I think that sounded too excited. I really don't care, believe me.


Haruhi: In fact, everyone's been doing such a good job lately that I've decided to promote you all one rank!


That's... wait. That means... I'd still be at the bottom.

Dammit! She's laughing, watching me figure it out! Damn you!

I'll get even one day!

Sigh...

Even though it's aggravating for me, watching her enjoy herself like this is much better than watching her suffer in melancholy.

It'd be good if she could be like this all the time, for nothing to bother her. If nothing bothered her, then all of the mysterious events would slowly go away, and we could all live normal lives again.

And not have to go through an endless, repeating summer, ever again...

Haruhi doesn't know what it's like to be us, to have to deal with all the problems she creates.

And if that keeps her laughing like she is now, that's probably...


Haruhi: Haha... Seriously though, Kyon, you need to lighten up! Life's an adventure! That's one of the creeds of the SOS Brigade!


...A very good thing.


IF DebtSlave = True THEN

Later, in English class, I felt the distinct pain of a mechanical pencil being pushed into the space in between my shoulder blades.


Kyon: Sigh... what is it?

Haruhi: Hey, don't forget that you're buying me lunch today.


My suffering never ends!

[Tyabann]

NEXT.

Spoiler for September the Second, Day One, Universe 1: Clubroom- The Falling Satellite:

The Falling Satellite

IF DebtSlave = False THEN

I always eat with Taniguchi and Kunikida at lunch break, for reasons that are a mystery even to me.

Today Taniguchi was ranting on and on as always, this time something about a 'betrayal' and a 'skank'.

I really didn't want to hear it, so I ate my lunch quickly, wished Kunikida luck, and headed to the clubroom to escape.


IF DebtSlave = True THEN

And so, when lunchtime came around, Haruhi dragged me to the cafeteria to buy her lunch. I don't know why her mom doesn't make lunch for her, but she always eats here.

Haruhi immediately ordered the most extravagant and expensive items on the menu, and then looked at me expectantly.

All this for a plate of pasta!?

I don't have a money tree in my backyard! Order something cheaper!

Haruhi tried to get me to sit and eat with her, but I, having had enough, respectfully declined and ran out of the cafeteria before she could catch me.

What I wouldn't give to be eating with Taniguchi and Kunikida right now!

...And I just realized I left my lunch in the cafeteria with Haruhi. I guess I'll head to the clubroom to hide, then.


As always, Nagato is sitting and reading inside of the SOS Brigade clubroom. I just realized I've never actually seen her eat lunch here.


Kyon: Yo, Nagato.


She doesn't answer, not that I expected her to, but she does look up in acknowledgment.

Good enough for me.

Maybe I'll play around on the computer for a bit... eh?

That's strange. It's rare to see Nagato rereading a book.

It's even one of the first books I ever saw her reading, that big foreign one, the one she lent me.

What was it called again...? One would think I'd remember, as I did read the book... though I didn't understand most of it.

Ah!

[DECISION POINT HERE]

1)“You're rereading The Fall of Hyperion, Nagato?”
2)Ignore it and go back to the computer.



Not Unique the Second Time


Kyon: You're rereading The Fall of Hyperion, Nagato.

Yuki: Yes.


...As always, this person is difficult to hold long conversations with. I pride myself on my ability to do just that, however.


Kyon: I didn't know you reread books.

Yuki: …

Kyon: It's, well, there's always more out there, huh? Or, uh...


Gah, I sound like an idiot.


Yuki: …I already read them all.

Kyon: Huh?


Oh no way. I must have misheard.


Kyon: I'm sorry, what did you say?

Yuki: I have read all the books that interest me already.


...Nagato reads fast enough to go through several books a day. If I'm right....


Kyon: Is that what you did... last summer?

Yuki: Yes.


Say, four books a day. 594 years times 365 days times four books... 867240 books.

I can see how she would have read everything that could interest her, then.


Kyon: But, new books are coming out all the time, right?

Yuki: Yes. Which is why I am rereading while I wait. But...

Kyon: But... reading a book over again, it just isn't the same, is it?

Yuki: No.


...Suddenly, I can't think of anything to say.


The Boredom of Yuki Nagato
[Note: Should mention here that we're using western order for names. Why? Because eastern order only applies if you're speaking in an eastern language, that's why.]

No, never mind. People reread their favorite books all the time, even Nagato.

Nothing wrong at all.

…

…

But still, as I look over at her, just like with the endless summer...

She seems... bored.

I should talk to her, but since I've sat down and started to surf the Internet already I don't feel as I can really start up a conversation.

Damn me. I have to talk to her again later, if I get the chance.

Yes I suck at writing Nagato shut up.

And yes I realize it's impossible to code in the dialogue differences due the DebtSlave thing the way I've written it. I guess we can use separate scenes or something.

[Tyabann]

Spoiler for September the Second, Day One, Universe 1: Classroom: Guillotine:

Guillotine

On a normal school day like today, there's only one thing I hear from Haruhi when the last bell rings.


Haruhi: Go straight to the clubroom, or heads will roll!


Or something along those lines. And then, zoom, she's off. Could somebody please post a speed limit in the hallways?

Today she mentioned something about a “special brigade meeting” before dashing off ... I would be going anyway, but that kind of declaration doesn't exactly put me in the mood for it.

Of course, I don't exactly have to run there, either.

[DECISION POINT HERE]

1)Go straight there.
2)Walk around a bit first.


The Slave of Suzumiya

I don't want to see Haruhi's angry eyes, so I'll head straight to the clubroom. I could run, but that would put me at the risk of looking like an idiot. Like a certain someone I know.

Besides, who knows? This “special brigade meeting” could actually be kind of fun.

...No, no it won't be, and I should be shot for even considering the possibility.

Sigh... such is my everyday life. Is there everyone else who could claim to have an everyday life like this and not have died of ulcers?

I think I'm a medical miracle.


No Promotion for You

Yeah, I'm just going to take my time.

Although showing initiative would impress the leader of any normal brigade, I have doubts that any initiative on my part would impress the leader of this one.

So I'll just walk around the hallways for a bit.

Of course, this risks the angry look of Haruhi Suzumiya, but at least I can still count myself as independent.

I'm independent, right?

[Tyabann]

Spoiler for September the Second, Day One, Universe 1: Hallway: I Will Have My Revenge:

I Will Have My Revenge Too

Before I was forcibly inducted into the SOS Brigade, I never quite appreciated how enjoyable it is to just walk around at your own pace.

Of course, walking around the halls of this school, for some reason, carries with it its own risks.


Boy: The time... has come.


In one of the hallways that connects to the Old Shack, I ran into a male student glaring out into the courtyard below, muttering to himself.


Boy: Soon... I shall once again be the master of that computer... soon, soon.


He seems familiar.

Ah, right, this is the president of the Computer Research Society. I've known him almost as long as I've been in the SOS Brigade. We don't really talk much, though.


CSP: Soon, yes, that bitch and her cronies will get what's coming to them, yes, yes, ahahahahaha!


The reason for that should be obvious.

By the way, he used to be more normal than this. He's a stunning example of why you don't involved with Haruhi.


CSP: With what is written on this piece of paper I hold in my hand right at this very moment, I, the Computer Society President, shall unhinge that horrid club from its... horrid... clubroom.

Kyon: You know, in my experience, Haruhi shows up whenever someone says bad things about the SOS Brigade.

CSP: Gah! Yoooooouuuuuuuu!


He instantly crumples the piece of paper he was holding and throws it out the window, then looks around innocently.

Uh. No, he was never like this at all.


Kyon: ...Did something bad happen recently?

CSP: Yes. Why do you ask? I'll tell you about it if you want to listen.

Kyon: Uh, no thanks. In fact, I'm kind of busy, later.

CSP: That's fine, fine. I'm also busy.


Busy with a psychiatric appointment, I hope.


CSP: Have to go get my piece of paper...


Or not.

When I finally got to the clubroom, Haruhi was there waiting for me.


Haruhi: You're late!


That's the second time I've heard that today from you.


Haruhi: Whatever, here, look at this. It fell under my head as I was walking through the courtyard.


...It's a crumpled piece of paper that reads, in feverish writing “IMPORTANT! EXPOSE ILLEGAL CLUBROOM OCCUPATION! FOR GLORY!”


Haruhi: Any idea what this means?

Kyon: ...Nope, none at all.


Normal days don't last very long when you're a member of the SOS Brigade.

Yay quadruple update.

Four more tomorrow and that finishes off Day One.

Also these two scenes were originally just going to be rewrites of the Universe A versions with a side of Greentext but I didn't have access to the originals, so I just rewrote these.

I think I improved them.

Also, this scene sets the "Revenge" variable to "True".

[Tyabann]

Lastly, as an ultimate FUCK YOU to KyoAni, and because I want to see it done...

For our next project, and as a prequel of sorts to the VN...

Why not turn Endless Eight into a visual novel?


I think it would be the most interesting thing ever. You'd replay the same two weeks over and over again, but you'd actually get CHOICES (not in the first week though, maybe.). Hell, if you wanted to, you could end the loop from the second time around. You could even actually take Koizumi's advice and tell Haruhi you love her, though I doubt that would end the loop.

Also, Kyon would automatically end the loop after 15498 iterations, if you actually play for that long.

And we'd have to have a hell of a lot of choices.

Most non-linear VN ever.

That's all I have so far, for now.

(I'm sorry for being a disappointment.)

Discuss.

[dkellis]

As apparently the one guy in the thread who is impulsive enough to volunteer to keep the archives (and FAQ) updated, despite increasingly less time:

If you're part of a project and you want to make an official announcement about leaving or stopping or whatever, please make it official, and make it stick.

I'm still listing Kaisos as the "official scribe" of the rewrites, because as far as I know you haven't actually stepped down officially. I was about to make a note in the VN archive post about the project going on hiatus, then had to revise it, then did away with it altogether.

Please make my life easier. Failing that, please find some other people to take some of the archiving work off my back. My time on AnimeSuki is spent pretty much scanning this thread for updates and trying to format them neatly, skimming through them in an effort to figure out where everything is supposed to go. As might be obvious, I'm not always (or even often) successful.

Yes, I am annoyed, because I have a zillion things in Real Life to deal with, and I've learned from experience that I'm not allowed to take a hiatus from this thread (ie trying to reduce my forum-surfing time), because the longer I stay away the harder it is to archive the backlog. Thread drama is the noise I have to wade through to get to the actual content signal.

[Tyabann]

I'll do the archive post, then. It fits, since I'm the one who writes most of this stuff anyway.

It's also a good punishment for the trouble I've caused everyone.

[besieger]

Hey, don't worry, we all get pissed off and lose it some time.

Plus, I got the reference, I chuckled, and that made it all better.