The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya [Spoilers Aplenty]

[BookOfMages]

Originally Posted by shaoron

but Haruhi wasn't.. only Taniguchi...

which means Haruki won't be there as well.

a much more interesting conversation would be Taniguchi asking Kyonko what really happened and what "far fetched" story would kyonko concoct to hide what really happened

"I SWEAR NOTHING WAS GOING ON! H-HE JUST SLIPPED ON A BANANA PEEL AND FELL ON TOP OF ME! AND BECAUSE HE WAS A GENTLEMEN HE HELPED ME UP!" [-Said while frantically waving her hands and blushing-]

what the hell kind of response was that!? I can't believe I just said that, that must've been the most..

"...........So what really happened?"

ITT Kyonko phails at coming up with an explanation. I still go with Kyonko with her hair down, and suggessive position in this scene.

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

Well... it'd make about as much sense as the "fainted as a result of anemia" excuse in the original... or that could be tweaked so Kyonko tries to catch Yuuki and ends up as a human mattress as a result

[BookOfMages]

Originally Posted by Kogetsu Shirogane

Well... it'd make about as much sense as the "fainted as a result of anemia" excuse in the original... or that could be tweaked so Kyonko tries to catch Yuuki and ends up as a human mattress as a result

Ryo cuts of Kyonko's ribbon as she ducks from his first slash.

Kyonko attempt to catch Yuuki = Yuuki's Head on Kyonko's chest [Fans jealous]

Taniguchi coming in as Yuuki struggles to get up resulting it. [-Shock-]

Misunderstood situation.

Ohshi- angry Yuuki fangirls+fanboys.

[Puffendahl]

Originally Posted by Kang Seung Jae

154 cm is too short.

Gee, thanks *is 154 cm tallshort*

Sorry, just joking there (Except for the being 154 cm part, unfortunately). But even after having to endure this height for a rather long time, I wouldn't say it's all too short for someone that age, especially if Japanese (from what I’ve seen).

Sure, according to my experience, it leads to people always having time to make sure you're aware of how short you are, but it's still not that hard to be around people who are, say, around 180 cm (sure, you have to look up all the time, but the common myth that it gets painful for one’s neck is not true). Although one note; if it's really windy outside, and the person you're speaking to actually is around 180, they might not always hear what you say

Then again, Haruki might like that, since he'd have an excuse not to listen to Kyonko's objections. Kind of like "Sorry, can't hear you, you're just too short" on a windy day, I guess

In other words, I think there’s nothing wrong with Kyonko being 154 cm. It’s not like being short ruins a character or anything, especially if she’s supposed to be that way.

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

... actually the hair ribbon was cut off as part of Ryou's "fun"... unless that gets removed in the editjob...

[Kang Seung Jae]

Originally Posted by Puffendahl

In other words, I think there’s nothing wrong with Kyonko being 154 cm. It’s not like being short ruins a character or anything, especially if she’s supposed to be that way.

Well, in my mind, Kyonko would be slightly shorter than the Japanese average (158 cm).

Hence why I chose 156 cm.

[BookOfMages]

........I'm okay with 154cm and 156cm lawl.

Yuki Nagato height is perfect though IMO.

[Aebliss]

Originally Posted by shaoron

@Aebliss
Wa wa wa wasuremo... UAGH!

....

Suman....
GOYOKURIIiiiiii......

I, umm ... o.o ... I kinda have no idea what that means. You seem emotional, though. Translation?

[Puffendahl]

Originally Posted by Kang Seung Jae

Well, in my mind, Kyonko would be slightly shorter than the Japanese average (158 cm).

Hence why I chose 156 cm.

Makes sense, since she isn't getting the endless "wow, you're really short!" comments all of the time (lucky girl... it's annoying ). And 2 cm doesn't really make that big of a difference, really... So I think 156 cm is equally fine too.

But if she's short, I wouldn't make her taller than that (I guess that makes me bitter ).

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

Originally Posted by Aebliss

I, umm ... o.o ... I kinda have no idea what that means. You seem emotional, though. Translation?

I'm fairly certain that would be Taniguchi's lines during the whole "awkward moment" scene involving Yuki and Kyon.

[shaoron]

Originally Posted by BookOfMages

ITT Kyonko phails at coming up with an explanation. I still go with Kyonko with her hair down, and suggessive position in this scene.

simple!
one of asakura's attack barely misses kyonko but hits her hairband.
done!

Originally Posted by Kogetsu Shirogane

I'm fairly certain that would be Taniguchi's lines during the whole "awkward moment" scene involving Yuki and Kyon.

the answer to your questions

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

. . .

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Asakura brought the katana up behind my head. I felt him cut the tie holding my hair up, which came down in one smooth motion.

“Ah, there. Much better. You look a lot nicer with your hair down. Makes you look more wild.” Asakura continued to smile kindly at me.

[sarc]Am I the only one who actually reads these?[/sarc]



And as for the link... thanks, you reminded me of the whole WAWAWA meme...

(sorry about the general unpleasantness of this post...)

[shaoron]

too much to read
couldn't process everything

[Jintor]

Chapter Five Part Three EDITJOB GET!

Spoiler for Chapter 5 part 3: Shoe Locker Letter:

Strange things had been set in motion that day. Nobody else had noticed because these events hadn't built up to their shocking climax just yet, but I had been thinking about them all day, ever since homeroom.

You see, while I was talking to Haruki, my mind was dwelling on something else. It all began with a simple note that was left in my shoe locker this morning.

The note said, "After school when everybody else has left, come to the 1-5 classroom".

The handwriting was angular and archaic-looking. It looked like it had been written by a guy. There was no signature.


------


So, what the hell was this all about? The differing opinions in my mind decided to hold an emergency meeting to debate amongst themselves.

The first thought said, "This has happened before". But the writing was different from the writing on the bookmark. Nagato (the "Living Humanoid Interface" for aliens from outer space) has handwriting so perfect it's like printed text, but this note, although well-written, isn't so flawless. And Nagato probably wouldn't be so direct as to stick a note in my shoe locker.

The second asked, "Could it be Asahina-senpai?" No, if it was Asahina-senpai, I doubted he'd just tear off a piece of paper and throw it into my locker casually. He seemed like the type of person who'd use an envelope for this kind of thing, anyway.

It was also kinda weird that the specified meeting location was my classroom.

"It can't be Haruki!?" exclaimed the third. That was even more ridiculous than my first or second thoughts. If Haruki had anything to say to me in private, he'd probably just carry me off over his shoulder and tell me directly - he wasn't the kind of guy to go for subtlety.

Based on that kind of reasoning (although omitting the 'carry over the shoulder' bit), I eliminated Itsuko from all the possible candidates. Finally, my fourth thought, stronger and louder than all the rest, asked the obvious question: "Could it just be a love letter from a stranger?"

I guess it made sense. The writer had specified that I should come "after everyone else is gone", and it had been stuffed into my shoe locker, which is where you'd expect to find a confession note. It's a big cliche, but an accurate one, I suppose. Still, in all my years of school, I'd never, ever gotten one of these. Why would they start coming now? I don't think I'm any better looking now than when I was in junior high...

My fifth thought, which were slightly more cynical than the rest of my thoughts, told me that "It's probably a prank". Yeah, Taniguchi and Kunikida would probably do that kind of thing; it certainly sounded more realistic than me having suddenly acquired a mysterious admirer. Taniguchi would play a stupid joke like that on me, though I think she probably would've written more.

I had been drifting aimlessly through my school day while these thoughts had been swirling around in my head. As I was wondering how I could escape from Haruki long enough to get to the meeting spot, he grumpily announced that he was going to go home and "Punch something".

Chance!

I decided to go to the clubroom first, because I didn’t want to look like some pining, lonely moron who was desperate enough to wait in a classroom all day for some random stranger. If Taniguchi suddenly walked in and said "Oh my God, Kyon! I’m so sorry! I didn’t think you’d take a letter like that so seriously!" while secretly trying to hide her laughter I'd be really pissed. No, kill some time first, then go peek into the classroom, and enter if there's no-one around. Yeah, that's the perfect strategy.

I arrived at the clubroom entrance. This time, I remembered to knock.

"Please come in!"

Once I had heard Asahina-senpai's voice, I opened the door and entered the clubroom. Regardless of how wrong it is, he still looks cute in that maid costume.

"You're a little late!" said Asahina-san happily, his back to me. He looked like he was brewing tea again. "Where's Suzumiya-san?"

"He went home. Actually, he seemed pretty tired. If you want to get some revenge, I’d do it now."

Asahina-senpai looked flustered. "I-I wouldn’t d-do anything like that!"

I was only joking, Asahina-senpai!

We sat down, face to face at the table and drank our tea while Nagato read silently in his corner. Without Haruki, I guess we were nothing more than a Brigade with no clear aims or goals.

"Itsuko still hasn't arrived?" I asked, eventually.

"Koizumi-san came earlier, but she said she’s got her part time job today, so she already left."

What kind of part-time job, exactly? Well, at least now I can confidently cross out Itsuko and Haruki from my list of suspects.

Since I had nothing to do but wait, I played a few games of Othello with Asahina-senpai while chatting a bit. After three games, I stopped playing and went to surf the internet for a little bit, and eventually, Nagato stopped reading and stiffly closed his book. Recently, we'd taken this action of his as a sign to call it day for our club activities (though what those club activities actually are is still unclear), and we all began to pack our stuff away.

Asahina-senpai turned to me. "I need to change, so you go on out first."

I left the room and proceeded to my classroom. The clock had said half past five when I glanced at it, so there shouldn't be anybody left in the classroom. Even if it were a prank by Taniguchi, she'd probably have gone home by now out of boredom. Despite that, I ran up the two flights of stairs to the top floor, just to be safe. I mean, what if it really was a confession?

I breathed in deeply in the silent corridor. The classroom doors all have slightly tinted windows, so I couldn't see anything clearly inside - only that the sunset had painted the room a wonderful orange-red (though that probably indicated some level of pollution around the town). Casually, I opened the door to classroom 1-5 and stuck my head inside.

/EDIT'd to conform with Discreet's stuff and JEBUS MAN TAKE NOTE OF WHAT GOD-DAMN TENSE I'VE BEEN CONSISTENTLY USING FOR ALL MY EDITS YEEESH

[Roger Rambo]

I really see no reason why Haruki can't be a 182cm. It's not that freakishly tall.

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

None of the characters in the original version are that tall. While 182cm might be acceptable to you, it's outside of the canonical height range.

[Roger Rambo]

Originally Posted by Kogetsu Shirogane

None of the characters in the original version are that tall. While 182cm might be acceptable to you, it's outside of the canonical height range.

We've just gender inverted the entire Haruhi universe.

I think we took continuity, clubbed it on the head, and raped it on the floor.

[otai]

I would like to suggest that Asakura restrains Kyonko with metallic tentacles (rather than squicky slimy organic ones). Why? Because it's traditional service; "alien captures schoolgirl with phallic tendrils" is right up there in the anime schoolgirl charter along with "flashing panties at hero the day you meet" and "boobs groped in exchange for arresting your fall". Because Kyoani would do it (eg Xia Yu Fan/Lan twincest).

EDIT: Besides, having Asakura simply casting "hold person" is kinda boring, don"t you think?

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by shaoron

kyonko is not a loli.
she's short, yes, but not loli-short
she's tsun, not loli-tsun
DFC, but not loli-DFC

making her loli would ruin her entire image

I've always thought of her as a loli, technically... how would that "ruin her image"? She's The Ruri of the cast.

And yeah, we should just use Yuki's height as the base.

Originally Posted by Aebliss

At the risk of rehashing something that's already been put on the wiki: wouldn't it be interesting after the fight between Nagato and Asakura, to have it be Kyon who is on the ground (having gone weak-kneed from the tension and relief, or just slipping on a banana peel or whatnot), with Nagato leaning over her? It'd make Nagato Yuuki look more physically tough than Nagato Yuki for one thing, if he could stay standing during and after regenerating those wounds, and would also preserve the original positioning (I sense bad jokes coming on, but what the hey) of the characters.

This idea came to me after reading Dkellis's excellent story about the Nagato Yuuki fan club. Just imagine the possibilities if A) It was Nagato leaning over Kyonko as it was Kyon over Nagato in the original version, and B) Tanaguchi had said something to someone and a debate raged between the fan club members and Kyonko's friends about 'who was trying to seduce whom', with Kyonko in the middle, frustrated and trying to convince people 'nothing really happened, I just felt faint and Nagato tried to help me back up!' Cue Tanaguchi saying: 'C'mon, Kyon! Don't be so bashful, you got lucky with a really bishie guy! Have some female pride!'

Nagato is going to collapse on top of her after the fight. And since, thanks to Asakura, she already has her hair down... it's going to look might suspicious when Taniguchi walks in.

Originally Posted by Kogetsu Shirogane

... actually the hair ribbon was cut off as part of Ryou's "fun"... unless that gets removed in the editjob...

Hair tie, not ribbon. She'll be getting a yellow ribbon later.

Originally Posted by Kang Seung Jae

Well, in my mind, Kyonko would be slightly shorter than the Japanese average (158 cm).

Hence why I chose 156 cm.

And I still think that's too tall. Removes some of her Ruri-ness.

Originally Posted by shaoron

simple!
one of asakura's attack barely misses kyonko but hits her hairband.
done!

Seriously guys, what's the point in posting if you don't read my stuff?

Originally Posted by Roger Rambo

We've just gender inverted the entire Haruhi universe.

I think we took continuity, clubbed it on the head, and raped it on the floor.

182 is still too tall. I'd think that 180 is about right.

Originally Posted by otai

I would like to suggest that Asakura restrains Kyonko with metallic tentacles (rather than squicky slimy organic ones). Why? Because it's traditional service; "alien captures schoolgirl with phallic tendrils" is right up there in the anime schoolgirl charter alonh with "flashing panties at hero the day you meet" and "boobs groped in exchange for arresting your fall". Because Kyoani would do it (eg Xia Yu Fan/Lan twincest).

...Do you people ever read my stuff? Ever?

[otai]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

...Do you people ever read my stuff? Ever?

But... its just not the same. At least the tradition continues elsewhere in Urusei Yatsura knockoffs.

Seriously, she could snark about how the situation with tentacles is hentai fantasy; to which Asakura goes 'Oh, really?' and proceeds to toy with her a bit.