Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[Astral Corruption]

Originally Posted by Yasanagi

Spoiler for MD?!:

His sense of awareness was stirred by the sound of a heartbeat’s slow rhythm. But when Yuuno opened his green eyes, he saw only endless darkness.

It was only a small wish.

‘What was that?’ That voice sounded familiar.

The wish to grow up happy and healthy surrounded by loved ones is something many take for granted. But for children in broken homes, children who were suddenly struck by reality far too early…

In a second, the scenery changed to an accident scene at a traffic intersection in Nanoha’s hometown. Ambulances, police and fire crew were there, assessing the multi vehicle collision. On the left side, Yuuno could see a number of bodies being covered by sheets while survivors were being carried on stretchers by paramedics. Among them was a young girl with short brown hair, no older than seven.

He recognized her face quickly. ‘What is Hayate doing there?!’

They say that life is unfair and unforgiving. That is a fact created by an illogical and irrational world.

The librarian moved over to help but found that he was simply an observer of events once he saw someone pass through his body. ‘How did I get pulled into Hayate’s memory? What’s going on here?’

Dealing with the trauma from an event like this was more than enough for a young child to bear. But the flawed system created by human hands served only to magnify the mental stress.

The scenery changed again, showing the young Hayate stuck in a wheelchair in different waiting areas in Japanese family courtrooms.

They had the best of intentions to care for the wellbeing of the child but there was no sense of cohesion and harmony. Every decision was debated, every action was questioned and every single individual expressed their own opinion, save for the child herself. With such a flawed system, it was no wonder that old Uncle Graham managed to set things up the way he did.

It was only now that Yuuno recognized the voice. At first, it sounded a lot like Hayate but as it continued, the tone grew more cynical and regal. Just like…

It was truly a foolish tragedy, caused by the world’s lack of logic.

The scene exploded in a flurry of black feathers that eventually assembled into the familiar figure of Material-D. Yuuno tried to approach her but it was like his body refused to move. “Yami, what is this?”

“It is time to fix the irrationality of the world. We have to do this to ensure no more foolish tragedies like hers happen again. The people have had many opportunities over the centuries to correct this mistake. For all the ‘power’ that they have to make life free, to make life a beautiful adventure and create happiness, what have they accomplished?”

Her statement was accompanied with her magical aura flaring up.

“We are through with waiting. It is time to usher in the new era and fix the logic of the world once and for all.”

A beat…

“Even if we must drag every man, woman and child kicking and screaming to their new future.”

[hr]

“That took longer than expected. I thought you had mentioned that this spell of yours would be able to destroy all of these dragons simultaneously,” commented Sette as the last of the dragons finally sputtered their last breaths.

“Einheimische Seuche should have triggered a full reaction from each dragon the moment the carrier’s life force was extinguished. Perhaps it is because we used a hatchling as a carrier while the other dragons were older with stronger immune systems…?” Yami had her usual scowl on her face as she tried to figure out this riddle. “That should not make any difference! Accursed universal logic…”

“Universal logic?” That was the first time the Combat Cyborg heard of such a concept.

“All aspects of life and magic are governed by a general set of rules and logic as defined by the Root of Genesis, a metaphysical object believed to be the source of everything. Since Dragons in general are considered to be fierce creatures and highly resilient in many cultures, the Root reinforces that concept and makes them very difficult to deal with.”

She noted that her two retainers had spent quite a considerable amount of energy to deal with those creatures as it took nearly forty minutes for the first symptoms to show up once the carrier had been killed. Then it took nearly another forty five minutes to mop up everything as the effects of the Endemic Plague spell took a while to fully manifest and cause physical and mental fatigue for those elder dragons and actually become easy pickings.

“With this much time elapsed, they certainly would have escaped from the planet by now,” said Material-S with her usual monotone laced with a hint of anger.

“No, they’re still on this world,” replied Material-L.

“How do you know?” remarked the Starlight Destroyer.

“Because I have the techniques of Mantracker, my good friend.” Rai got into a pose. “Know your land, know your prey.”

“Then go apprehend them already!” screeched Yami.

Within moments, the Fate replica was blasting off back to the Alpine compound to begin her search there. A lot of things had definitely been packed up, mostly essential items and items of strong emotional value. It was obvious that they did not stay for too long here so her next step was to check the immediate outdoor surrounding of the residence.

‘If they had taken into the air, Seikou’s search spells would have picked up something.’ That left moving along the ground and in a few moments, her senses picked up light traces of movement such as footprints on the soil and blades of grass bending at a different angle due to someone moving past them. There had been some attempt to cover their tracks but it had been a rushed job as she could still pick up a trail.

And so Material-L moved. Each disturbance of the surroundings along with the attempted spell to hide those was quickly categorized and calculated to extrapolate the trail. But by the time she caught sight of them near a stretch of buildings no longer in use, a transportation spell had taken effect and teleported the group away. This time, they were definitely off world and judging by the magical array she had spotted before the group vanished; it was of Mid-Childan origin.

The prey had escaped and there was only one thought that ran through Rai’s head at the moment.

“With a performance like that, I would probably flunk Mantracker auditions.”

[hr]

Sickbay had been a flurry of activity with medical personnel being divided to look after their new patients. More of the focus was on Erio, Caro, Fried and Garyu as they had the more serious injuries. Lutecia did have someone examine her and thankfully, the ship had the tools to deal with the paralysis enchantment placed earlier so it was one less thing for Megane to worry about. However, her state of mind did not improve much.

For starters, they had essentially lost everything they had built on Carnaaji. Even with a big bank account on Mid-Childa thanks to years of interest on her savings and an offer from the Bureau to assist with housing needs, nothing could replace what they considered their home for many years.

Another thing that bothered Megane was the whereabouts of the Combat Cyborg who accompanied Yuuno and the Materials. She did mention this to the captain as part of the witness situation report she had given as soon as she came on board. Of course, he didn’t seem too pleased hearing about that development but said he would bring this up with the fleet commander.

So in the meantime, while the medical staff spent more time treating the injuries on the insectoid warrior and the Dragon summon, Megane could only sit by her child and listen to her vent as both Erio and Caro were asleep, recovering from their wounds.

“All those device projects I had been working on are down the drain. And it’s going to take a long time to build a new device workshop and restock it with all those parts.” Lutecia sighed. “I had been looking forward to testing those upgrades on Brunzel to see if it would have cut down on the time to create a Golem. Also, I had a surprise for Solfège but I guess that’s out the window for now.”

She was chattering away, trying to seem like her usual self but her mother was observant enough to see otherwise. “You should just rest for now.”

The sliding sound of the sickbay doors opening alerted her to the arrival of the ship’s captain, a seasoned man in his forties with light skin and hints of grey in his otherwise black hair. “I see that everyone is recovering nicely. That’s good news.”

“Captain, if you wanted a status report, you could have just called from the bridge,” replied one of the nurses assisting with Garyu’s treatment.

“Shouldn’t you be glad that I’m actually taking your advice and getting more exercise?” joked the other man.

“Um, Captain Jarama?” Megane suddenly stood up. “If I may ask, what was the outcome of your discussion with the fleet commander?”

He paused for a moment before addressing her. “Let’s take this discussion somewhere more private.”

[hr]

“So, yeah… that’s what happened. Their bodies turned all sparkly and disappeared. It kinda reminded me about transporter energizing special effects from the Enterprise-D and-”

“Enough.” That one single word from the Starlight Destroyer immediately caused Material-L’s yapping to cease. “It’s unfortunate that things have turned out like this but if I recall correctly, Her Majesty has sufficient information to transport us to where Yuuno-san is being held.”

Yami looked a little startled before responding. “To be honest, I would like a bit more certainty in regards to where those coordinates would lead us.”

“Even in the event that we do transport into the heart of enemy territory, we will be mentally prepared for the possibility of fighting our way out while the enemy would be caught completely off guard.”

Rai quickly grinned. “So today is the day you plan to surpass Asura? Defy all sense of logic with recklessness just to get Yuu-nii back?”

Any response Seikou might have had was cut off by Sette. “Incoming objects detected.”

Rifugio Spirituale.

The instant the spell had been activated by Sette’s book to protect the group, one of the objects slammed hard on the ground. Even though the actual landing was five kilometres away from their position, it still created quite the shockwave and sent dust and debris scattering everywhere.

“Ugh… it’s raining photon torpedoes!” complained Material-L.

“So they’ve resorted to orbital bombardment,” muttered Material-D. “Everyone standby and prepare for Dimensional Transfer!”

“How long will you need to prepare for transport?” asked Sette as another charge detonated in close proximity to the shield.

On cue, a large Belkan Triangle sprang up beneath the group of four. “Everything is already in place. However, the spell is likely to take a fairly large amount of magical power. I will need some time to recover afterwards.”

“Understood,” replied Material-S. “Rai, Sette: form a perimeter around Yami.”

“Hmph… and now you go back to not calling me ‘Your Majesty’,” grumbled the Hayate replica. Once the others got into position, she triggered the spell and within moments, the four were off the planet.

It's a miracle! Material Days got updated! Also I liked learning Yami's reasons for wanting to rule the universe.

[Chanthien]

Hm, so I have another question I would like to ask you guys regarding Vivid. I didn't really follow the series past the first few chapters, but I still remembered how it portrayed Nanoha as essentially having nothing to do with her job at the TSAB, while only staying at home and care for Vivio. Is this a wrong impression to have? If so, what is the true interpretaion? If not, then are there any explanations for this?

[Filraen]

During ViVid Nanoha is on a medical leave, as the events of StrikerS were a heavy toll on her linker core. She still trains recruits but isn't allowed to exhert herself magically.

[Chanthien]

Thanks for the information, then.

[Moczo]

New Infinity is live here. Truthfully, this is another one I'm not really sure about... reviews have been fairly split so far, with half the reviewers calling it the greatest thing ever, and the other half saying I've gone so far into Villain Sue territory that there is no hope of salvaging the story. To which I can mainly just say... well, both sides kinda have valid points and I'm the first to admit that I may have gone overboard with the villainous power levels here.

On the other hand... well, it is the climax. Perhaps not the absolute ending of the story, though that is (FINALLY) coming up rather soon. But this sequence is the emotional climax of the story, the finale of Susa and Tsuku's character arcs alongside Nanoha and Fate. The 'action' finale comes later, but the 'dramatic' finale is unfolding right now, and I had to make it big. Did I make it too big? I leave that up to each reader to decide for him or herself. All I can do is hope it's enjoyed, and keep plugging along.

Slowly.

Sooooo... slowly.

Must work on that.

[Tiresias]

...I'm not gonna lie, this arc is getting stale. Maybe I'll post a more elaborate review on the chapter later.

[Justin_Brett]

I'm more interested in those new guardians that have been getting mentioned.

[Moczo]

Hey, all! For the first time in a long time, I have started a new Nanoha Story. Sort of a palette cleanser between big ones, along with being a present I rather owe a friend. Hopefully it's fun for everyone. As a warning, it uses one character from Infinity, but only one. It is not canon to that story and by no means do you need to read it to understand what's going on.

To give you some hint as to the nature of the work, the title is 'Fate T. Harlaown and the Case of the Murderous Murder'.

Yeah.

The first chapter can be found here. Enjoy!

[Nagumo]

Originally Posted by Moczo

New Infinity is live here. Truthfully, this is another one I'm not really sure about... reviews have been fairly split so far, with half the reviewers calling it the greatest thing ever, and the other half saying I've gone so far into Villain Sue territory that there is no hope of salvaging the story. To which I can mainly just say... well, both sides kinda have valid points and I'm the first to admit that I may have gone overboard with the villainous power levels here.

On the other hand... well, it is the climax. Perhaps not the absolute ending of the story, though that is (FINALLY) coming up rather soon. But this sequence is the emotional climax of the story, the finale of Susa and Tsuku's character arcs alongside Nanoha and Fate. The 'action' finale comes later, but the 'dramatic' finale is unfolding right now, and I had to make it big. Did I make it too big? I leave that up to each reader to decide for him or herself. All I can do is hope it's enjoyed, and keep plugging along.

Slowly.

Sooooo... slowly.

Must work on that.

I just finished reading your newest chapter. I have to admit, this was sort of blah chapter as we have great fight scenes but not much else. I am in the camp where people think the enemies are getting way too powerful and it's difficult to see how it's going to end in the favor of our heroes.

[Tiresias]

Scaglietti.

[Moczo]

Originally Posted by Nagumo

I just finished reading your newest chapter. I have to admit, this was sort of blah chapter as we have great fight scenes but not much else. I am in the camp where people think the enemies are getting way too powerful and it's difficult to see how it's going to end in the favor of our heroes.

Sigh. Nobody believes in me. I have been planning this out for awhile, y'know? I admit some missteps have been made here and there, but I do wish people would stop assuming I have hit an inescapable corner when I have a fairly good reputation for getting out of such corners satisfyingly. Perils of a slow update schedule, I guess.

[Tiresias]

Eh, it's not the planning, but the execution.

The first time overpowered airhead went "Waaagh, for muh family!" was fine. The second time, still okay. Having it shoved in your face for the umpteenth time...meh. I'm sure the latest chapter has great action, but I wouldn't know because I found myself barely skimming it just to see if this is finally over and I can get emotionally invested again.

(Man, I keep not having enough spare time to write a proper review)

[Moczo]

Originally Posted by Tiresias

Eh, it's not the planning, but the execution.

The first time overpowered airhead went "Waaagh, for muh family!" was fine. The second time, still okay. Having it shoved in your face for the umpteenth time...meh. I'm sure the latest chapter has great action, but I wouldn't know because I found myself barely skimming it just to see if this is finally over and I can get emotionally invested again.

(Man, I keep not having enough spare time to write a proper review)

I get what you mean about the arc fatigue... honestly, the whole story has run on too long, I am keenly aware of that, which is why I'm trying to streamline things and just get the damn thing over with. But there was really not much in the way of other options for ending the arc currently running. It was always gonna end with this showdown; I've been playing up Susanoo v. Fate and Tsukuyomi v. Nanoha since literally the first chapter. In order for the larger plot of the story to end, the character subplot of that rivalry has to be hammered out. And since all involved believe very strongly in their cause and are on opposite sides of the battle lines, this hammering out had to be done with a literal hammer, in true Nanoha fashion.

(Eh, I've read your review here, so it's not like I don't know your thoughts on the subject. And you did just admit you're barely skimming anyway, so it doesn't seem like taking time out to review a second time is worth the effort.)

[Moczo]

Well, I'm not sure if anyone here read the first one, but Part the Second of Fate T. Harlaown and the Case of the Murderous Murder is now live. It is actually proving surprisingly fun... trying to make a story that is both a passable mystery and funny appeals deeply to the Ace Attorney fan in me, and reception has been positive thus far. Hope you enjoy!

[Gx Hero]

Um I was reading Nanya's and radiant beams a day in the life and caught site of a pairing that might be of interest. Erio X cinque.

I mean it would add something different if nothing else. But I have no story idea to go with the pairing. most likely I will just add it to the I will write ventaly list.

Sorry if this seems random, new to posting.

[Gx Hero]

Originally Posted by Akiyoshi

Canon implies Genki Lutecia was the real Lutecia all along. The stoic Lutecia from StrikerS was the facade she made to cope with the loss of her mother. Years of healthy cohabitation with Megane and her beloved summons in a nice habitat helped her to go out from her carcass and become the happy young girl she should be from the beginning xD

Go, Lulu xD!

Yes yea. However I noticed that Lutecia seems to be able to build devices. How about a fic that Lutecia upgrades Nanoha's device, or Vivio's and puts Marial to shame, like every one starts going to her or somethng while mariel is like why , oh why.

[bhl88]

Originally Posted by Gx Hero

Um I was reading Nanya's and radiant beams a day in the life and caught site of a pairing that might be of interest. Erio X cinque.

I mean it would add something different if nothing else. But I have no story idea to go with the pairing. most likely I will just add it to the I will write ventaly list.

Sorry if this seems random, new to posting.

Cinque kidnaps Erio instead of Ginga. And he got molested by 12 cyborgs.

[Gx Hero]

sick , but there is more that could be done. Remeber in the 4 koma of the strker manga Jail has an intrest in him and Lutecia and Caro could burst in to save him or something

[bhl88]

Originally Posted by Gx Hero

sick , but there is more that could be done. Remeber in the 4 koma of the strker manga Jail has an intrest in him and Lutecia and Caro could burst in to save him or something

Yeah I think Jail said something about a pretty boy's land....

As for Lutecia, she keeps on messing with Caro.
Lutecia: Thank you for lending me Erio. <3
Caro: No I didn't. -_-

[Gx Hero]

more like Cinque takes erio because she likes him then lutecia finds out and gets Caro to help then at the end says thanks for your help and leaves while the rest are taking care of scaglati.

Plus should Scaglati decide to interfere, there are two very big summons that can be called to step on him.

Nanoha: "What happened to Scaglati"

Caro: "He Kidnapped Erio... He wanted to molest Erio."

Nanoha: "What..."

Caro: "That's why Lutecia and I teamed up. We summoned everything and laid him to waste. Unfortunately Volatre sat on Jail after losing balance. Any way we have... Where is Erio."

A screen pops up.

Lutecia: Sorry but I have plans for my future Husband I am Grateful for your help."

Screen closes.

Caro: Volatire After them NOWWW!!!"