AnimeSuki Forums

Kyero Fox · 2008-10-26, 19:27

tempest, your lucky anyone even cares about your fan fics =\

blitz1/2 · 2008-10-26, 19:28

I care, I read almost everything if I am bored XD.

Kyero Fox · 2008-10-26, 19:36

I ment that in a good way..

Magin · 2008-10-26, 19:53

Kyero, you're just jealous

admit it

Tempest35 · 2008-10-26, 20:03

*bops Magin on the noggin*

So, write about something different, Kyero.

RadiantBeam · 2008-10-26, 20:06

...

...

...

I like Tempest's fic...

But I'd like to see what you could come up with too, Kyero.

Kyero Fox · 2008-10-26, 20:06

why bother? no one gives a shit. I'm Jealous and annoyed. I'm not good at writing fan fics that include female characters, i suck at doing female roles.

now Im going to go play Dead Space..... so expect me to come back real soon with wet pants...

my fan fics usualy have my OC getting together with one of the girl characters, which people don't like that, Specialy with Mizore...

Magin · 2008-10-26, 20:58

... that last part is probably because there's way too Mizore fanatics around here who want Mizore for themselves as well

And besides, probably the worst thing about your fics is perhaps the pacing... you need to slow down the scene a little, and put in more description

blitz1/2 · 2008-10-26, 21:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyero Fox

why bother? no one gives a shit. I'm Jealous and annoyed. I'm not good at writing fan fics that include female characters, i suck at doing female roles.

now Im going to go play Dead Space..... so expect me to come back real soon with wet pants...

my fan fics usualy have my OC getting together with one of the girl characters, which people don't like that, Specialy with Mizore...

Where is your fanfic? Send me a link.

kenjiharima · 2008-10-26, 21:10

When Iam at my break or sometimes not busy or doing something I read fanfics to kill time also. I copy paste them in wordpad and save them then read them later whenever someone posts.

Kyero Fox · 2008-10-26, 21:13

I didn't post the Fan Fic, just a Plot summary,

OC/fanfic stuff

Spoiler:

Tempest35 · 2008-10-26, 21:52

Look, I'm not too keen on stuff like this but, if you seriously want to become a better writer - READ. I was lucky - I came into the anime scene when Ranma 1/2, and Sailor Moon were the big ones and they nearly as many fanfiction as Naruto seems to have...

And since I was in highschool, there were some GREAT fanfiction writers that I followed during that time - they helped me a lot in structuring paragraphs, narrative flow, a COHESIVE PLOT

, and most importantly, giving me the passion to continue what they had done with fanfiction - GOOD fanfiction. Granted, I'm not nearly as big as they were comparatively speaking, but maybe next year.

lol

Only problem is, I don't know what you like to read...

About OCs - OC's are by nature, very tricky. They are 'hit-or-miss' characters - either the reader likes them or doesn't like them. So actually, the trick is not so much to get the targeted female character to like the OC, but to get the reader to like to OC enough to say, "hn, okay I can see her with him now". The reader should already know the female character(s) well enough but they hardly know anything about the OC. What really turns a reader off form an OC is if they do 'character bashing' - as in 'smacking sense' into the present male lead with knowledge that is usually only privy to us as fans. Making a character, putting them into a story and having them 'making everything right' according to the author's whims, is generally regarded as the worst among fanfiction. Good authors know not to re-write a certain 'verse' just to suit them/ an OC - those that do most likely doing it just for crack pairings that have no real basis to them in the first place.

Gah, getting off on a tangent there...

Anyway, it's not that people do not want to support your writing efforts, Kyero...but the character you made is not someone that we can readily accept. Because, for me, it feels as if you've replaced Moka and Tsukune for your OC Kyero as the story lead. For me, that is an ancient taboo(circa 1998) that was taught to me to NEVER do in a fanfiction involving an OC.

This was also further hammered in as I was also in anime RPG groups when I was younger, but I digress.
I suggest that you re-evaluate just why you created Kyero in the first place - was it to make a good Rosario+Vampire story? or was it to make Rosario+Vampire into a good story for you?

Self-insertion fanfics are an almost guarrenteed 'no-read'. They are just wishful dreams of rabid fanboys/girls to be with their favorite character (even though said character would NEVER go for their type in the first place) and basically act out their fantasies....yeah, you got that sick feeling too, right? That's why no one reads them - who wants to read about what someone has potential wetdreams about at night?

The way you've presented your character so far is VERY close to that of an self-insertion fic.

...now that 'Writing Fanfiction 101' is now over....

Kyero Fox · 2008-10-26, 22:53

No he doesn't replace them, hes a side character like Gin, but more of a peice of the plot to advance than a main character.

and I knew OC's were hated. But whos gonna stop me from having fun with making them? Whats so bad about my OC? Except the fact that you belive hes replacing people. You have OC's too, yet people still read it.. well some

but some is better than none

Also like I said, I suck at writing stuff for female characters. I have a problem with being a female character.

EDIT: of course, How could I be so stupid.... of Course a small summary might make it seem like my character is tryin to steal the spot light.

Vikitehwaffu · 2008-10-26, 23:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyero Fox

No he doesn't replace them, hes a side character like Gin, but more of a peice of the plot to advance than a main character.

and I knew OC's were hated. But whos gonna stop me from having fun with making them? Whats so bad about my OC? Except the fact that you belive hes replacing people. You have OC's too, yet people still read it.. well some

but some is better than none

Also like I said, I suck at writing stuff for female characters. I have a problem with being a female character.

EDIT: of course, How could I be so stupid.... of Course a small summary might make it seem like my character is tryin to steal the spot light.

Even if you aren't replacing the main characters, having OC's take a huge role is tricky at best. People aren't reading Rosario fanfics for your OC's, they are reading for Tsukune, Moka, Mizore, etc. Otherwise, it feels disappointing and awkward like the other poster said.

Also, you are naming the character after yourself, which makes it a self insert. Why make the self insert such a big character with a tragic past? That calls too much attention to him.

Nobody is stopping you from writing your stories. But after being put on the internet, people will read, criticize, flame, admire, love, adore your work because you put it out there.

Why are you hooking up your OC with Mizore? Why does your story call for it? Is it because you like her the most? With the names being the same, it feels too much like wish fantasy writing which few people like to read.

Putting that aside, why would she like him? What aspects would draw Mizore towards him besides Tsukune dumping her for Moka? Can your OC even be interesting as a friend to her?

Quote:

moka's sister informs Kyero that he is just a Failed expirement. No Real Parents, No memories, No reason to live, nothing.

Why would Moka's sister care? She is all about inner Moka.

As a former fanfic writer and critic, I personally hated using/reading OC's and have problems with dialogue. I have seen OC's used well though. I am not trying to be mean towards your work, but you said you were jealous and wish people liked your works more and I am helping you.

Guide's on OC's:

http://oddlots.digitalspace.net/gues...nalcharas.html

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4468720/...nal_Characters

http://alswaiter.codedaemon.com/LOTR/Help/howto.htm

Kyero Fox · 2008-10-26, 23:57

Spoiler:

EDIT: I'ma put all that in spoiler

Vikitehwaffu · 2008-10-27, 00:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyero Fox

Not Kokoa lol, the new one that appears =\

I call all my OC's Kyero except for multipul ones of the same Anime, I hook up Kyero to mizore because hes Fire and she's Ice. that and shes my fav female character

I don't even want to go into details, I'll just be shot down by OC Haters.

Honestly, that's even worse, the fire/ice contrasts are cool etc. Mizore needs to suck on lolipops to regulate her coolness in her body. That's lethal to her. That's pretty uncomfortable at best because your character is fire. Even if he stays in human form for a while and controls fire, can a person really hide who they really are for their entire life and not resent their loved one? It's fine at the school because of policy, but what about after?

Kyero Fox · 2008-10-27, 00:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vikitehwaffu

Honestly, that's even worse, the fire/ice contrasts are cool etc. Mizore needs to suck on lolipops to regulate her coolness in her body. That's lethal to her. That's pretty uncomfortable at best because your character is fire. Even if he stays in human form for a while and controls fire, can a person really hide who they really are for their entire life and not resent their loved one? It's fine at the school because of policy, but what about after?

read the EDIT

Zenobian · 2008-10-27, 01:18

Hiya guys, just joined these forums, and I'm a big fan of the series, just thought I say hi. Oh, I'm love all the girls, but Mizore is my #1 <3

Tempest35 · 2008-10-27, 06:07

...

Another 'popsicle' joins us... lol That's what I'm gonna call all the Mizore fans from now on - Popsicles.

HayashiTakara · 2008-10-27, 06:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zenobian

Hiya guys, just joined these forums, and I'm a big fan of the series, just thought I say hi. Oh, I'm love all the girls, but Mizore is my #1 <3

Woot, another lover of the beauty of the frozen north. (b '_')b

2008-10-26, 19:27	Link #4661
Kyero Fox Tastes Cloudy Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Snake Way Age: 35	tempest, your lucky anyone even cares about your fan fics =\ __________________

2008-10-26, 19:28	Link #4662
blitz1/2 Tenshi's Defense Squadron Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Fighting against those who oppress the system	I care, I read almost everything if I am bored XD. __________________ hai, hai. Onii-chan has his work cut out for him.

2008-10-26, 19:36	Link #4663
Kyero Fox Tastes Cloudy Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Snake Way Age: 35	I ment that in a good way.. __________________

2008-10-26, 19:53	Link #4664
Magin #1 Akashiya Moka Fan Author Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Where magic is real Age: 35	Kyero, you're just jealous admit it __________________ Gifted...or Cursed? R+V fanfic- Chapter 4 of A Water Bride and a Vampire is now up at FF.net! All fans of Inner or Outer Moka, come join her fanclub!

2008-10-26, 20:03	Link #4665
Tempest35 Awe of She Author Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Orlando	bops Magin on the noggin So, write about something different, Kyero. __________________ "Focus entirely on me, you ordinary soldier."

2008-10-26, 20:06	Link #4667
Kyero Fox Tastes Cloudy Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Snake Way Age: 35	why bother? no one gives a shit. I'm Jealous and annoyed. I'm not good at writing fan fics that include female characters, i suck at doing female roles. now Im going to go play Dead Space..... so expect me to come back real soon with wet pants... my fan fics usualy have my OC getting together with one of the girl characters, which people don't like that, Specialy with Mizore... __________________ Last edited by Kyero Fox; 2008-10-26 at 20:22.

2008-10-26, 20:58	Link #4668
Magin #1 Akashiya Moka Fan Author Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Where magic is real Age: 35	... that last part is probably because there's way too Mizore fanatics around here who want Mizore for themselves as well And besides, probably the worst thing about your fics is perhaps the pacing... you need to slow down the scene a little, and put in more description __________________ Gifted...or Cursed? R+V fanfic- Chapter 4 of A Water Bride and a Vampire is now up at FF.net! All fans of Inner or Outer Moka, come join her fanclub!

2008-10-26, 21:10	Link #4670
kenjiharima Mizore-chan Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Moe Land Age: 43	When Iam at my break or sometimes not busy or doing something I read fanfics to kill time also. I copy paste them in wordpad and save them then read them later whenever someone posts. __________________ Vampire+Sisters

2008-10-26, 21:13	Link #4671
Kyero Fox Tastes Cloudy Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Snake Way Age: 35	I didn't post the Fan Fic, just a Plot summary, OC/fanfic stuff Spoiler: I've already told magin about this, and I've also mentioned to him that it might change after a few chapters because im going on a complete and utter change of Story it Turns up that the Organization XIII is collecting Strong Youkai's to recreate the Legendary Youkai's, such as Diablos,Ifirit,Shiva,Kirin,so on and so on, turns out they need Mizore to recreate Shiva. But sense that failed thanks to Tsukune and Friends, they have to turn to the Other canidate, Kyero.. who they need to Recreate Ifrit. moka's sister informs Kyero that he is just a Failed expirement. No Real Parents, No memories, No reason to live, nothing. When he realizes his life has been just a lie he kinda loses him self and the Organization control him to attack Tsukune and his friends and steal Mizore back.... for the Organization of course.. __________________

2008-10-26, 21:52	Link #4672
Tempest35 Awe of She Author Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Orlando	Look, I'm not too keen on stuff like this but, if you seriously want to become a better writer - READ. I was lucky - I came into the anime scene when Ranma 1/2, and Sailor Moon were the big ones and they nearly as many fanfiction as Naruto seems to have... And since I was in highschool, there were some GREAT fanfiction writers that I followed during that time - they helped me a lot in structuring paragraphs, narrative flow, a COHESIVE PLOT , and most importantly, giving me the passion to continue what they had done with fanfiction - GOOD fanfiction. Granted, I'm not nearly as big as they were comparatively speaking, but maybe next year. lol Only problem is, I don't know what you like to read... About OCs - OC's are by nature, very tricky. They are 'hit-or-miss' characters - either the reader likes them or doesn't like them. So actually, the trick is not so much to get the targeted female character to like the OC, but to get the reader to like to OC enough to say, "hn, okay I can see her with him now". The reader should already know the female character(s) well enough but they hardly know anything about the OC. What really turns a reader off form an OC is if they do 'character bashing' - as in 'smacking sense' into the present male lead with knowledge that is usually only privy to us as fans. Making a character, putting them into a story and having them 'making everything right' according to the author's whims, is generally regarded as the worst among fanfiction. Good authors know not to re-write a certain 'verse' just to suit them/ an OC - those that do most likely doing it just for crack pairings that have no real basis to them in the first place. Gah, getting off on a tangent there... Anyway, it's not that people do not want to support your writing efforts, Kyero...but the character you made is not someone that we can readily accept. Because, for me, it feels as if you've replaced Moka and Tsukune for your OC Kyero as the story lead. For me, that is an ancient taboo(circa 1998) that was taught to me to NEVER do in a fanfiction involving an OC. This was also further hammered in as I was also in anime RPG groups when I was younger, but I digress. I suggest that you re-evaluate just why you created Kyero in the first place - was it to make a good Rosario+Vampire story? or was it to make Rosario+Vampire into a good story for you? Self-insertion fanfics are an almost guarrenteed 'no-read'. They are just wishful dreams of rabid fanboys/girls to be with their favorite character (even though said character would NEVER go for their type in the first place) and basically act out their fantasies....yeah, you got that sick feeling too, right? That's why no one reads them - who wants to read about what someone has potential wetdreams about at night? The way you've presented your character so far is VERY close to that of an self-insertion fic. ...now that 'Writing Fanfiction 101' is now over.... __________________ "Focus entirely on me, you ordinary soldier."

2008-10-26, 22:53	Link #4673
Kyero Fox Tastes Cloudy Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Snake Way Age: 35	No he doesn't replace them, hes a side character like Gin, but more of a peice of the plot to advance than a main character. and I knew OC's were hated. But whos gonna stop me from having fun with making them? Whats so bad about my OC? Except the fact that you belive hes replacing people. You have OC's too, yet people still read it.. well some but some is better than none Also like I said, I suck at writing stuff for female characters. I have a problem with being a female character. EDIT: of course, How could I be so stupid.... of Course a small summary might make it seem like my character is tryin to steal the spot light. __________________

2008-10-26, 23:57	Link #4675
Kyero Fox Tastes Cloudy Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Snake Way Age: 35	Spoiler: Not Kokoa lol, the new one that appears =\ I call all my OC's Kyero cuz its the only GOOD name i can come up with, I hook up Kyero to mizore because hes Fire and she's Ice. that and shes my fav female character I don't even want to go into details, I'll just be shot down by OC Haters, but She doesn't like him as he likes her, but still he wants to help Mizore in any way to make her happy even if that means giving her to Tsukune.... Shit I went into details. Trust me, my OC has a Back Story, Personality and so on. I've read the Original Character thing and It looks like I'm doing everything right so far, Hes not Perfect, he has many flaws and weaknesses (water,Memory problems,psyco split personality[a little Hollow Ichigo dash, it goes away after he gets his ass wooped by moka]Mizore,Jealousy/Lonelyness) Back Story changes from time to time do to him NOT HAVING REAL ONES! at times he thinks he killed his parents, at times he thinks their still alive, He doesn't really even know how he got into the school (still kinda workin on that part) EDIT: I'ma put all that in spoiler __________________ Last edited by Kyero Fox; 2008-10-27 at 00:12.

2008-10-27, 01:18	Link #4678
Zenobian Paladin Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Zenobia Age: 46	Hiya guys, just joined these forums, and I'm a big fan of the series, just thought I say hi. Oh, I'm love all the girls, but Mizore is my #1 <3

2008-10-27, 06:07	Link #4679
Tempest35 Awe of She Author Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Orlando	... Another 'popsicle' joins us... lol That's what I'm gonna call all the Mizore fans from now on - Popsicles. __________________ "Focus entirely on me, you ordinary soldier."