Infinite Stratos Character Creation and Fanfiction Discussion

[ZeroXSEED]

Eh I like the original better, it has a very certain charm on it, where despite being OC centric, it was completely original flavor, without most of the stupidity of canon.

That said, the rewrite is not a finished product, so the real judgement is still up in the air.

[coco6561]

Wow your writing is good. It deserves way more reviews then 8. Do you have any writing tips. I don't do so well on action parts.

Let me know when you post the re-write

I got a bit confused at some parts though.

[StratoSpear]

Thanks you two

The original was written as I go with a blurry plotline. The re-write goes further that alot of crap happens and you have the OCs switching from one machine to another within a couple of chapters. Imagine GSD: Stargazer, introduce a unit in action in one chapter, gets totaled in the next.

Hell even the supposed IS pilot OC uses a Minerva unit at one point.

[coco6561]

I would be honored if you could read my fanfiction and give me and advice, tips, critism, anything. I just want to make my work better so everyone can enjoy it.

[MeisterBabylon]

Originally Posted by StratoSpear

WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING!?

Also, i'm left with one more chapter summary for Athena's first arc, which consists of 7 chapters. Wanna beta them when I'm done?

I plan to take an ordinary girl and turn her into an IS while exploring the concept of ispers.

I could try but my english sucks.

[StratoSpear]

Originally Posted by coco6561

I would be honored if you could read my fanfiction and give me and advice, tips, critism, anything. I just want to make my work better so everyone can enjoy it.

Sure, just drop me the link via PM and I'll give it a read after work.

Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon

I plan to take an ordinary girl and turn her into an IS while exploring the concept of ispers.

I could try but my english sucks.

Not sure if you're planning to turn her into an idol while ait it...

[ZeroXSEED]

Originally Posted by StratoSpear

Not sure if you're planning to turn her into an idol while ait it...

You jinked it, now prepare for suffering

[coco6561]

Originally Posted by StratoSpear

Sure, just drop me the link via PM and I'll give it a read after work.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/1036561...-Young-Secrets

Here's my story. So far it has seven chapters with an eighth on the way. Let me know what ya think.


Not sure if you're planning to turn her into an idol while ait it...

well

[MeisterBabylon]

Originally Posted by StratoSpear

Not sure if you're planning to turn her into an idol while ait it...

Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED

You jinked it, now prepare for suffering

More like a... sentient concept? IS operating system? A bridge between humans and IS? Kazakiri? Everything in between. While becoming increasingly OP as hell.

[demino_hellsin]

Just turn her into an equalizer. That's what I did with my idea of this.

[Rokumonsen]

I suddenly felt the urge to write a smut feat. Ichika, Houki & Char in a 3-some. I wonder why...

[Chevalier]

^ You naughty writer.

I could have written a three time steamy scene with that but in fear of stupid Critcs United, they might ban me

[wavehawk]

Originally Posted by MeisterBabylon

The F35Ts just have very chatty programs and arent very smart. They are used to automate weapons and target tracking partially. You see they were programmed by Tabane and so have a rather... annoying chirpiness.

Tabane: "All right, let's have an Easter Egg hunt!"

F-35Ts: "RA-DIYAAA!!!" (wings salute)

Originally Posted by coco6561

I'll help beta it if you wish

- So would these guys:

[Tempest35]

... So glad that Madoka isn't as adorable as Mikan (To-Love-Ru) Just watched the newest OVA from them - so much softcore, it's unbelievable...

Still...

Ichika: *still asleep* Hnnn~ marshmellows~ *his hands squeeze firmly several times*

Madoka: Uwaa~ *frantically trying to keep her voice down* "Those aren't marshmellows, Baka-chika!"

Ichika: *right hand drifts down her tummy and slips right into her pants*

Madoka: !!! **Is this why Chifuyu told me not to come in here!? I should have list- Aaahn~** He-Hey! Your...fingers....don't go...there...!

Ichika: "Hnnn, marshmellow...sticky... ...peaches?"

Madoka: Mou, enough already! *pinches the hell out of his hand*

Ichika: ...uwaaaah, the marshmellow bit me~ *still asleep*

Madoka: *trying to get her breathing under control* ...what a pervert...!

~*~

Chifuyu: *was leaning against the wall just outside the door* ... well, that should be enough 'punishment' for one night. *leans off the wall and goes back to her room* Now she knows why Ichika sleeps alone...

[Chevalier]

^ mind sending me a link of that OVA? I havent watched it yet ><

[wavehawk]

Originally Posted by Tempest35

... So glad that Madoka isn't as adorable as Mikan

"My soul was broken a thousand times
and will yet be broken times two.
I know not who it who'll breaks me next,
But I swear it will never be you."
- Madoka

[Fireminer]

“Doctor, I thought the plan was to use the shield as a distraction?”
“… Like sister, like brother, I guess?”
The number of [Geoffrey] was reduced to a mere 3. However, they were giving Ichika much heads: After the initial assault, Ichika had lost his element of surprise and was forced to face them in the ope. While not being designed for extreme-Close-Quarter-Combat, the sole [Geoffrey] was standing ground to him in a knife fight. And he could not freely obliterate him: the other targets were constantly whipping lines of fire toward his direction.
Letting the enemy to score a slash against him, Ichika closed the distance and jammed forward his tantos. However, without the unique [One-off Ability] of [Yukihira Nigata], [Burizādo] and [Kyōfū] were equal to a pup’s claws, nothing more.
But what choice did he have? His shield meter was in the red level – one more [Reiraku Byakuya] and that would be all. Even if he rolled the dice, her would only be able to cripple one enemy.
Continue this cat-and-mouse was also not an option. Ichika could sensed that those three were trying to surround him. A triangle of sort had already in the process of forming, and if he attacked one vertex, two others would be free to rain bullets on him.
He had to stop that, first by cornering them in a closed space.

Summary of the previous part: Byakushi+Shield+Ichika=Mobile Drill.

[StratoSpear]

Originally Posted by coco6561

well

I see you're more to domestic interaction with the CCs. Now I understand why you prefer cross-overs

It's not so bad, really. You have some twists in place to deviate the attention of the readers, especially me. Honestly I thought it'll be like another story of a second male IS pilot - which is, from what I understand, if a severe turn-off to most readers.... especially those who preach canon. (They have the strongest flak guns against those who would tread the canon zone in their fanfics)

[coco6561]

Originally Posted by StratoSpear

I see you're more to domestic interaction with the CCs. Now I understand why you prefer cross-overs
Yup. I guess that is more my style.
It's not so bad, really. You have some twists in place to deviate the attention of the readers, especially me. Honestly I thought it'll be like another story of a second male IS pilot - which is, from what I understand, if a severe turn-off to most readers.... especially those who preach canon. (They have the strongest flak guns against those who would tread the canon zone in their fanfics)

Thank you. Anything you think I should try to improve on?

[StratoSpear]

Grammar, for start. I see you made quite a few faults in the early chapters (but some of the reviewers already pointed it out). You got better with each chapter but can still be improved nonetheless... Not much to say about the plot though.