AnimeSuki Forums

Solafighter · 2009-02-26, 09:44

Elderly ladies in a car

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it.
She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving ?"

---------------------------------

Friends for many decades

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me .. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

---------------------------------

Old ladies

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."

---------------------------------

Older Folks 3.

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know... The one that's red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

RAVNEN · 2009-02-26, 10:01

^ I like the first two...ah...kinda get me remember the good old days.

Gordy Lechance · 2009-02-27, 00:19

Cows With Guns

Demongod86 · 2009-02-27, 01:04

An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to get him to the emergency room.
After what seemed like a very long wait, the ER Doctor appeared, wearing his scrubs and a long face. Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid he is brain-dead, but his heart is still beating."
"Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks with shock! "We've never had a Republican in the family before!"

Evil Rick · 2009-02-27, 01:23

Claude · 2009-02-27, 18:02

Spoiler for Cat:

Spectacular_Insanity · 2009-02-27, 21:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claude

Spoiler for Cat:

This explains everything!!!

CatQueen · 2009-02-27, 23:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claude

Spoiler for Cat:

As funny as this was, I just realized that I'm hopelessly outnumbered by my cats.

TinyRedLeaf · 2009-02-28, 00:28

^ Safe for work

kguthrie · 2009-02-28, 00:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evil Rick

Awesome - ROFL

Demongod86 · 2009-02-28, 10:56

As you may know, Ben & Jerry created the "Yes Pecan!" ice cream flavor for Obama. They also asked for suggestions from the public for a George Bush flavor. Here are some of their favorite responses:
Grape Depression
The Housing Crunch
Abu Grape
Cluster Fudge
Nut'n Accomplished
Iraqi Road
Chock 'n Awe
Impeach Cobbler
Guantanmallow
ImPeachmint
Heck-of-a-Job-Brownie!
Cookie D'oh!
Nougalar Proliferation
Death by Chocolate and Torture
Chocolate Chip On My Shoulder
Credit Crunch
Mission Pecanplished
Country Pumpkin
Caramel Preemptive Stripe
I Broke the Law and am Responsible for the Deaths of Thousands...... With nuts

RAVNEN · 2009-02-28, 13:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claude

Spoiler for Cat:

Okay that funny & make me nervous.

Mystique · 2009-02-28, 16:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claude

Spoiler for Cat:

okay... you've inspired me, i couldn't resist posting this xD
(and there's more from the 'simon's cat' series from the user themself)

sa547 · 2009-02-28, 22:28

Dunno if it's right to be posted here or at the general anime discussion section. Picked this up at Japanator while browsing. It maybe a least two years old but it's probably the most stoned anime dubbing I ever heard

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcINhIjAxUA

escimo · 2009-02-28, 22:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by sa547

Dunno if it's right to be posted here or at the general anime discussion section. Picked this up at Japanator while browsing. It maybe a least two years old but it's probably the most stoned anime dubbing I ever heard

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcINhIjAxUA

Oh man that just made me so proud of my nationality...

I first though that was a joke...

sa547 · 2009-02-28, 23:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by escimo

Oh man that just made me so proud of my nationality...

I first though that was a joke...

In my life I thought I have heard it all... until now. Then when I pushed play on the video clip, half a cup of coffee I was drinking went out of my nose. After sneezing, I muttered, "Jesus, this one went beyond weird!"

By the way, it turned out that a defunct Agapio "Racing Team" was responsible for that bonged-out Takeru.
http://koti.mbnet.fi/wheany/agapio/english.php
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agapio_Racing_Team

LaceNFrills · 2009-02-28, 23:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claude

Spoiler for Cat:

Lol! This is why I like dogs more xD . Now I'm a little scared of cats now D:

Demongod86 · 2009-03-02, 10:34

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'
80% held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.
'Mrs. Neely? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'
'I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.
'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?'
'Ninety-eight,' she replied.
'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?'
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, 'I outlived the bitches!'

sa547 · 2009-03-02, 10:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demongod86

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'
80% held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.
'Mrs. Neely? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'
'I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.
'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?'
'Ninety-eight,' she replied.
'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?'
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, 'I outlived the bitches!'

LOL I remember the late Jeanne Calment, then the oldest woman in the world and who had outlived the guy who wanted to buy her house.

klowny · 2009-03-02, 20:37

My favorite quotes are
"Hey! I'm just a dinosaur!"
and
"They say he's a menace but i love him!"

2009-02-26, 09:44	Link #3641
Solafighter Hige Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: God only knows	Elderly ladies in a car Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving ?" --------------------------------- Friends for many decades Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me .. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?" --------------------------------- Old ladies Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door." --------------------------------- Older Folks 3. An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly." The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?" The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that's red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?" __________________

2009-02-26, 10:01	Link #3642
RAVNEN Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: malim nawar,malaysia Age: 36	^ I like the first two...ah...kinda get me remember the good old days. __________________

2009-02-27, 00:19	Link #3643
Gordy Lechance Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009	Cows With Guns <p>No iframe support, please <a href="http://youtu.be/FQMbXvn2RNI">watch on YouTube</a>.</p> __________________ This oversized signature has been removed.

2009-02-27, 01:23	Link #3645
Evil Rick Black Dragon Graphic Designer Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: In the Netherrealm, thinking who to betray next...	__________________

2009-02-28, 00:28	Link #3649
TinyRedLeaf Moving in circles Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Singapore Age: 49	<p>No iframe support, please <a href="http://youtu.be/e6RsJY3HzMw">watch on YouTube</a>.</p> ^ Safe for work

2009-02-27, 01:04	Link #3644
Demongod86 Gundam Boobs and Boom FTW Join Date: Dec 2005	An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait, the ER Doctor appeared, wearing his scrubs and a long face. Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid he is brain-dead, but his heart is still beating." "Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks with shock! "We've never had a Republican in the family before!"

2009-02-27, 18:02	Link #3646
Claude Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: North Carolina Age: 31	Spoiler for Cat:

2009-02-28, 10:56	Link #3651
Demongod86 Gundam Boobs and Boom FTW Join Date: Dec 2005	As you may know, Ben & Jerry created the "Yes Pecan!" ice cream flavor for Obama. They also asked for suggestions from the public for a George Bush flavor. Here are some of their favorite responses: Grape Depression The Housing Crunch Abu Grape Cluster Fudge Nut'n Accomplished Iraqi Road Chock 'n Awe Impeach Cobbler Guantanmallow ImPeachmint Heck-of-a-Job-Brownie! Cookie D'oh! Nougalar Proliferation Death by Chocolate and Torture Chocolate Chip On My Shoulder Credit Crunch Mission Pecanplished Country Pumpkin Caramel Preemptive Stripe I Broke the Law and am Responsible for the Deaths of Thousands...... With nuts

2009-02-28, 22:28	Link #3654
sa547 Senior Member Author Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Philippines Age: 47	Dunno if it's right to be posted here or at the general anime discussion section. Picked this up at Japanator while browsing. It maybe a least two years old but it's probably the most stoned anime dubbing I ever heard http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcINhIjAxUA __________________

2009-03-02, 10:34	Link #3658
Demongod86 Gundam Boobs and Boom FTW Join Date: Dec 2005	Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?' 80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady. 'Mrs. Neely? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?' 'I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly. 'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?' 'Ninety-eight,' she replied. 'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?' The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, 'I outlived the bitches!'

2009-03-02, 20:37	Link #3660
klowny OH NO Join Date: May 2007 Location: New York Age: 32	<p>No iframe support, please <a href="http://youtu.be/<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/YRmHNAP2gv4&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/YRmHNAP2gv4&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>">watch on YouTube</a>.</p> My favorite quotes are "Hey! I'm just a dinosaur!" and "They say he's a menace but i love him!"