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Old 2008-12-05, 14:58   Link #11321
Jimmy C
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Well, Vivio wasn't in a "adult film entertainment" studio, she was paid to be recorded for some local guys.
"for" or "by"? Slight difference. Unless those hicks were filthy rich anyway, they'd have to sell those movies to earn back their production costs.
That part is clear. The point is, by the time Vivio got to her current employer, she's beyond scared of being screwed already. Either she'd shut it all inside and showing nothing, or just show a "let's just get this over with" expression.

Quote:
Yup, I researched a lot!
All online? That's ok. But if you have the opportunity, take a peek at the women's section in the local bookstore. You won't be surprised to find something on and by the women who passed through this industry there.

Quote:
She even told her video diary and updated webpage that she was dating someone.
That's not the problem. It's the people in the studio she's been talking to. Or those who overhear her blabbing. She might be able to conciously avoid mentioning Syn by name online and in the interview, but did she mention her name to her colleagues and friends? Because if she did, there's no way the secret's been held by now.
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Old 2008-12-05, 15:34   Link #11322
krisslanza
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Originally Posted by Jimmy C View Post
Lina should not have been allowed anywhere inside of the studio buildings. Because, if you can be sure about anything about a movie studio (even an AV one), they'll have posters of their productions on the walls for people to see. And you do not want kids to see the posters of these productions.
Perhaps you should consider moving the encounter with Lina to outside the building. That would require reshuffling the timeline, but I strongly feel that's better than letting her run loose inside the studio even briefly.
Clearly I'm just a horrible mother
Joking aside...

Technically speaking you don't really HAVE to correct anything a person says (aside from spelling) because you can really say anything you want without worrying about 'proper' sentence structure - so long as its that character's way of speaking. Nitpicking here
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Old 2008-12-05, 16:10   Link #11323
Satashi
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Quote:
"for" or "by"? Slight difference. Unless those hicks were filthy rich anyway, they'd have to sell those movies to earn back their production costs.
That part is clear. The point is, by the time Vivio got to her current employer, she's beyond scared of being screwed already. Either she'd shut it all inside and showing nothing, or just show a "let's just get this over with" expression.
local "small town" video. When Vivio first started working for an agency, she thought everyone was "show up, do your thing, leave". she first made her friends when she met people who she realized were different and gave her respect.

Quote:
All online? That's ok. But if you have the opportunity, take a peek at the women's section in the local bookstore. You won't be surprised to find something on and by the women who passed through this industry there.
I don't have enough money to buy books right now, so internet is all I can get. Surprisingly there are a lot out there, and they are really "realistic". Besides, I feel a little awkward reading at bookstores, even if they do have chairs and stuff for you to try out the books before you buy. I keep feeling like they're thinking "Is that person going to buy or what?"

Quote:
That's not the problem. It's the people in the studio she's been talking to. Or those who overhear her blabbing. She might be able to conciously avoid mentioning Syn by name online and in the interview, but did she mention her name to her colleagues and friends? Because if she did, there's no way the secret's been held by now.
Well, Vivio is popular and a local star but she just got to the point of being really famous. The contract she signs will boost her popularity. They are basically going to make Vivio famous just because they thrust her into the spotlight. Send someone to hang with really popular stars, get her in tons of magazines, and put her in top of the line clubs for guest appearances. The sudden exposure will spark the paparazzi to get the scoop on the "sudden explosion"

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Clearly I'm just a horrible mother
True story.
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Old 2008-12-05, 16:21   Link #11324
Satashi
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Spoiler for Previously:
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.54:
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Old 2008-12-05, 18:52   Link #11325
Kagerou
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QUIT BEING PRODUCTIVE D:
... nah j/k *glomps Satashi*

*ahem* Anyway felt like writing a short, inspired by my headache today.
And by short, I mean really short.

Spoiler for Ow my head:
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Old 2008-12-05, 21:17   Link #11326
RadiantBeam
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Ugh...

I hate it when people flame you for a story you've written that's longer than one chapter, and when you check out the statistics the flame was sent to... the first chapter. -__-
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Old 2008-12-05, 22:23   Link #11327
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This is a complete rewrite of Shadows of Intent. It will have the same story and same cast as the original but the start was not working well for me so I'm rewriting it. Contains a fair few OC's and I'm going to try and stay as canon as i can but may stray a little bit.
Spoiler for Shadows of Intent Prologue:
I wrote this a bit on the fly because I've been busy so if there is any problems please point them out and i will try to fix them. Also as usual any questions?
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Old 2008-12-05, 23:25   Link #11328
Jimmy C
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
When Vivio first started working for an agency, she thought everyone was "show up, do your thing, leave".
Oh well, it's a trivial matter, so I'm not going to push it. I just think that if Vivio had a expression during that first day with this studio at all, it would be like Fate's when Nanoha first saw her in ep4.

Quote:
Besides, I feel a little awkward reading at bookstores, even if they do have chairs and stuff for you to try out the books before you buy. I keep feeling like they're thinking "Is that person going to buy or what?"
That's so different from me. I go to the local Borders once a week just to find a book to sit down and read. I've been reading in bookstores for most of my life.
Pick a seat next to someone already reading.
If it helps, you can easily find entire books online. I just don't know if anyone will bother to rip titles like these.

And for ch54, it's "head to toe" not "foot". Your southern dialect again?

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Originally Posted by Kagerou View Post
Anyway felt like writing a short, inspired by my headache today.
If the headache was today and you're well enough to write already, it wasn't much compared to the one I got when I was 14. When it hit, it felt like a metal band was being slammed into my head if I just turned my head around. I was disabled for a week even after seeing the doctor right away.
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Old 2008-12-06, 00:22   Link #11329
Hiria
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Another BtBR short, hopefully cuter and funnier than "This Is The Way (A Heart Breaks)". Timeline wise I say this lil' guy occurs after Nanoha gets her gun, but before she pulls the trigger in "This Is The Way (A Heart Breaks)". So she's still learning her limits and whatnot.

Spoiler for They have insurance for this, right?:
LOL. Typical Nanoha thing to do.
and Fiasse is smart. XDXD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for Previously:
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.53:
Vivio has many things to say about Syn. ^^

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for Previously:
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.54:
Nice chapter! :] Syn is really accepting Vivio's job now.
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Old 2008-12-06, 00:55   Link #11330
TheShinySword
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy C View Post

And for ch54, it's "head to toe" not "foot". Your southern dialect again?


.
I've heard both expressions used before. The implication is the same there's no real need to change it.
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Old 2008-12-06, 01:47   Link #11331
Evil Rick
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for Previously:
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.54:
Interesting chapter I must say, a bit wierd but truly funny

@Thread: I like how the things are going here, we have lots of new faces since I joined here on February , it has been quite an experience, most enjoyable... fans working for the fans, asking nothing in return, that's just beautifull

We all come from diferent parts of the world, not all of us uses english as his main language, this fact makes thie thread even better

Why do I say this? I don't know... just tough that it was the right time
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Old 2008-12-06, 02:19   Link #11332
Raging Heart
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for Previously:
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.54:

Lolz the last part make laugh, what did happen with Vivio really? and Syn accepts Vivio's job, nicely done by the way.

Satashi you are a great writer, i am looking forward for more.
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Old 2008-12-06, 02:24   Link #11333
Jimmy C
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
I've heard both expressions used before. The implication is the same there's no real need to change it.
Interesting, I've never heard the other one before. It just sounded weird to me. IF that's the case, then I suppose it's ok.
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Old 2008-12-06, 03:34   Link #11334
Satashi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy C View Post
Interesting, I've never heard the other one before. It just sounded weird to me. IF that's the case, then I suppose it's ok.
I've heard both many times, so I'm sure "head to foot" would be okay :3
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Old 2008-12-06, 03:41   Link #11335
markesellus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.53:
Syn's learning some secrets about Vivio from Kriss. Every time I read Mark, I get confused for a second.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for PornStar!Vivio pt.54:
Looks like Syn's getting it. Relationship seems to be getting on the steadier side. Let's see what happens on Thanksgiving.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kagerou View Post
Spoiler for Ow my head:
I really liked this one, it's a bit on the sad side but I think that's what makes it better. Damn, that's one hell of a headache. Nanoha to the rescue! I like how all of Fate's times are really exact, down to the minute.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Striker117 View Post
This is a complete rewrite of Shadows of Intent. It will have the same story and same cast as the original but the start was not working well for me so I'm rewriting it. Contains a fair few OC's and I'm going to try and stay as canon as i can but may stray a little bit.
Spoiler for Shadows of Intent Prologue:
I wrote this a bit on the fly because I've been busy so if there is any problems please point them out and i will try to fix them. Also as usual any questions?
Seems a lot better. Some occasionally spelling and grammar mistakes though. I'm also going to assume you got permission to use Falling Soul from TSS. It looks like Mikazuki and Vivio are going to become friends...or enemies. Sophitia seems important, I wonder why?
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Old 2008-12-06, 04:29   Link #11336
Striker117
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Originally Posted by markesellus View Post
Seems a lot better. Some occasionally spelling and grammar mistakes though. I'm also going to assume you got permission to use Falling Soul from TSS. It looks like Mikazuki and Vivio are going to become friends...or enemies. Sophitia seems important, I wonder why?
Yeah i forgot to credit TSS because i was sleepy when i posted it so i'll do that now, Falling soul is property of TSS. Spelling and grammar errors? an example please, because whatever it is word didn't find it and i would like to fix it. All questions will be answered hopfully soon. I like to keep what's happening next a secret, it helps keep the suspence.
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Old 2008-12-06, 09:17   Link #11337
TheShinySword
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Quote:
Originally Posted by markesellus View Post


Seems a lot better. Some occasionally spelling and grammar mistakes though. I'm also going to assume you got permission to use Falling Soul from TSS. It looks like Mikazuki and Vivio are going to become friends...or enemies. Sophitia seems important, I wonder why?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Striker117 View Post
Yeah i forgot to credit TSS because i was sleepy when i posted it so i'll do that now, Falling soul is property of TSS. Spelling and grammar errors? an example please, because whatever it is word didn't find it and i would like to fix it. All questions will be answered hopfully soon. I like to keep what's happening next a secret, it helps keep the suspence.
Thanks for the credit.

Anyone can use Falling Soul as long as the credit me. They don't need to ask permission.
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Old 2008-12-06, 18:34   Link #11338
DezoPenguin
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@Satashi: I've heard it both ways before, too.

@RadiantBeam: *comfort* Trolls suck!

This is the first chapter of the fourth Vivio story (well, it's currently the fourth story; I could slip a few in there in between if I get lazy since there's a twelve-to-fifteen timeskip). It's much longer than any of my other Nanoha fics (the outline is longer than "Mending" and "Snowflakes" were), and I'm not keeping to any kind of schedule or anything with writing it. In fact, this is more of a "first draft chapter to gauge people's reactions" rather than an "official" posting; I haven't even bothered to proofread the thing...

Gee, that really made you want to read it, huh? :P

Spoiler for Stahlkonigin--Prologue:
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Old 2008-12-06, 20:03   Link #11339
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
@Satashi: I've heard it both ways before, too.

@RadiantBeam: *comfort* Trolls suck!

This is the first chapter of the fourth Vivio story (well, it's currently the fourth story; I could slip a few in there in between if I get lazy since there's a twelve-to-fifteen timeskip). It's much longer than any of my other Nanoha fics (the outline is longer than "Mending" and "Snowflakes" were), and I'm not keeping to any kind of schedule or anything with writing it. In fact, this is more of a "first draft chapter to gauge people's reactions" rather than an "official" posting; I haven't even bothered to proofread the thing...

Gee, that really made you want to read it, huh? :P

Spoiler for Stahlkonigin--Prologue:
Thanks, DezoPenguin.

And this chapter is awesome. Vivio isn't even on the scene yet and I'm itching to see what will happen.
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Old 2008-12-06, 20:43   Link #11340
RadiantBeam
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... I... seem to have a thing for double-posts...

Anyway, a short little omake based off my Lutecia/Vivio series, seeing as I've done two for BtBR and none for that yet.

Spoiler for Jealousy's just another form of love:
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Last edited by RadiantBeam; 2008-12-06 at 22:49.
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