Infinite Stratos Character Creation and Fanfiction Discussion

[ZeroXSEED]

Originally Posted by Eratas123

@ Senpai - Could you please be more specific? I've been re-reading V7 and her reasoning is really vague. Also, I mentioned before that the "Knight in Shining armor" can apply to any of the three protags.

Not as in "protect them from bullies", but as in saved her from loneliness and despair. Remember everyone look too high (being Tatenashi's sister) and too low at her (being Tatenashi's Sister), only Ichika accept her as individual entity.

[demino_hellsin]

How much conventional scientific theory can I use without breaking canon in half? D:

[wavehawk]

"Hi, Gramps."

Ange stood in front of the elaborate mausoleum, one that housed the remains of her grandparents. She never liked it, oversized and grandiose it was sitting in the center of the cemetery. Even in death her family called attention to themselves.

"I don't even know what I'm doing here. It's not like you were around when I was born." The girl began, scratching the back of her short brown hair. One arm held a bouquet of flowers--Edmund's idea, not hers. "An it's not as if dad's buried here. Nobody ever found his or Uncle Jim's body."

Ange went through the motions of laying the bouquet at the foot of her grandparents' grave, but thoroughly ignored the one that indicated her father's resting place.

"I don't believe he or Uncle Jim are dead. not for one second." Ange crossed her arms, more defiant than morose. "Dad would never let a couple of tanks or missiles take him down. No way."

There was a rustling of feathers. Not real, Ange knew. The mausoleum played tranquil, heavenly effects like small singing flutes and harps, and doves flying. No real bird ever set foot within these walls.

"Cheesy, Gramps. Real cheesy." Ange scoffed. "Let's get one thing straight: Dad's alive. I'm not mourning anybody."

As if on cue, the fluttering turned into the refrain from a halleluiah chorus.

"Dad always did say you had a sick sense of humor, Gramps." Ange couldn't help it--she was snickering madly at the change of mood. "I'll be back next month. 'kay?"

Ange Stark took her time before leaving the mausoleum. There was no hurry, as the school day had ended. All she wanted now was time to herself, to think through other configurations for her pet project.

"You skipped school again, Ange."

"Well, I would go to class if they actually had SOMETHING to teach me that I didn't already know." Stark replied without the hint of surprise as she smiled at the girl waiting outside for her. "Seriously, Shay. Professor Poppinsmock hasn't got the first clue about nanoskin gel theory."

"It's Professor Pollock." Shay Cunningham replied, the image of forced calm. One of Stark's few real friends in school, and barely able to handle her eccentricities. "Cut her some slack. The Professor's theories on exoskeletal frames were cutting-edge before the IS was invented."

"Whatever." Ange made a show of shrugging and walked on, causing Shay to follow. "I don't like Poppinsmock."

"Pollock." As the class representative, Cunningham was normally more taciturn towards her classmates. However, Angelina Stark always had a way of getting her goat.

And gaining her trust.

"She was pretty annoyed that you didn't turn up in class today."

Stark stopped and gave an exaggerated look of surprise. "My god. Poppinsmock misses me."

"Ange, can you tone down the smartassery a smidge?" Shay let out a breath as heavy as he world. "It's not easy having a friend who's a smartass genius tomboy with an electra complex."

"You just said 'smartass' twice."

"Ange!" Cunningham was about to let out a retort, then thought better of it. "Why do I even bother?"

"Change of subject." Stark spun around, her trademark smirk promising further mischief. "I think I've cracked the secret behind the 4th-generation IS Fold-Out armor."

"Normal girls talk about boys, fashions, and shoes. We talk about IS technology." Cunningham remarked flatly. "Dear god, we sound more like boys than boys do."

"Shay? Just a little interest would be good?"

"I'm sorry, Ange. But I don't believe it." Cunningham crossed her arms. "You're smart, true. But there's no way you could have developed a 4th-gen IS in your back yard. Just--no."

Ange had to agree with her friend's logic. Most of the world had only started research and development into 3rd-generation Infinite Stratos exoskeletons. 4th-generation Is in the world were rare. In fact, only two existed.

"Got it." Stark nodded with a smile. We'll see who laughs last. "Can I borrow your lecture notes, though?"

Shay wordlessly handed over her notebook. "You're lucky I didn't tell Ms. Hannigan about how you hacked those Rafale Revives."

"No lasting damage." Ange took the notes with a smile. "I just wanted to see what kind of protocols Dunois had to protect their systems from a hack. The answer is: none."

Shay rolled her eyes. "What will you think of next?"

"Now that you mentioned it, there's this hair removal liquid that..."

"ANGE. NO."

[Eratas123]

@ Senpai - Here, the end of the flashback arc. It's just short but please tell me what you think.

Spoiler:

POV: Allen

Location: Unknown

"Haaa Haaa, Damn it!"

The pain was intense, the stab managed to pierce though my stomach and through my backside. I could feel the blood clotting, trying to seal the wound, but I knew it was pointless.

Everything around me was black, I couldn't open my eyes.

"What's happening, Joshua?" A voice above me asked. The voice sounded older, a man by the sounds of it.

"I don't know, it looks like his stomach was pierced through along with chipping his spine." The man who replied seemed to be a doctor by the sounds of things.

"Is he gonna be alright" This time the voice sounded younger, more familiar.

"It's possible to save him, but....."

"But what!?"

"This isn't a hospital, I'm afraid I don't have the necessary materials to help him. I'm sorry."

"..."

So this is how it's going to end? Me dying at some unknown place after getting stabbed through? Well, as long as Yuri's safe-

"Let me join you!"

What?

"You're just a kid, you'd be useless."

That's right, this is your chance for a normal life!

"I know how the cores work and how to destroy them! I've been learning about them for the past months! I wont be useless!"

"What do you think, Joshua?"

"I disagree, he's a child and shouldn't get involved, but the final decision rests on you, Mason."

"...Alright, we'll give you a chance."

'No, I can't let this happen!'

I try to move my arms but all I can manage is some slight shaking. Damn it, he's signing up to die and there's nothing else I can do!?

'No! If I'm dying, I'm not letting him die either!'

I try to ignore the pain and push my body to move.

"Allen!"

I open my eyes and dizziness immediately takes hold. I look to the right to see Yuri with a worried look on his face.

"Yuri-" I struggle to move my hand but he held it before I could.

"Allen, it's alright."

No, it wasn't alright! He was putting a death sentence to himself and there's nothing I can do!

"Yuri....don't-" I couldn't finish what I was going to say before another surge of pain went through me.

"Don't worry, Allen. I won't"

"You won't?" He wasn't going to let himself die?

"I won't let her live, she'll die for what she's done."

"No-" Another surge of pain and my hand starts to go limp, I wasn't going to be here for much longer.

"Just rest, Allen. I'll see you soon."

My vision was fading, I couldn't stay awake much longer.

"Goodbye, Allen. I'll miss you."

'I'll miss you too....'

Everything went black, I was going to leave him now.

*Sniff*

I felt something moist drop on my hands. I'm sorry Yuri, I did the best I could.

"So,we're gonna have to call you something now that you're here."

"..."

"You were lucky to survive that camp, let's call you "Irish" then"

"...Alright."

Goodbye, Yuri. I love you.

Please tell me what you think.

[ZeroXSEED]

Originally Posted by Eratas123

@ Senpai - Here, the end of the flashback arc. It's just short but please tell me what you think.

Spoiler:

POV: Allen

Location: Unknown

"Haaa Haaa, Damn it!"

The pain was intense, the stab managed to pierce though my stomach and through my backside. I could feel the blood clotting, trying to seal the wound, but I knew it was pointless.

Everything around me was black, I couldn't open my eyes.

"What's happening, Joshua?" A voice above me asked. The voice sounded older, a man by the sounds of it.

"I don't know, it looks like his stomach was pierced through along with chipping his spine." The man who replied seemed to be a doctor by the sounds of things.

"Is he gonna be alright" This time the voice sounded younger, more familiar.

"It's possible to save him, but....."

"But what!?"

"This isn't a hospital, I'm afraid I don't have the necessary materials to help him. I'm sorry."

"..."

So this is how it's going to end? Me dying at some unknown place after getting stabbed through? Well, as long as Yuri's safe-

"Let me join you!"

What?

"You're just a kid, you'd be useless."

That's right, this is your chance for a normal life!

"I know how the cores work and how to destroy them! I've been learning about them for the past months! I wont be useless!"

"What do you think, Joshua?"

"I disagree, he's a child and shouldn't get involved, but the final decision rests on you, Mason."

"...Alright, we'll give you a chance."

'No, I can't let this happen!'

I try to move my arms but all I can manage is some slight shaking. Damn it, he's signing up to die and there's nothing else I can do!?

'No! If I'm dying, I'm not letting him die either!'

I try to ignore the pain and push my body to move.

"Allen!"

I open my eyes and dizziness immediately takes hold. I look to the right to see Yuri with a worried look on his face.

"Yuri-" I struggle to move my hand but he held it before I could.

"Allen, it's alright."

No, it wasn't alright! He was putting a death sentence to himself and there's nothing I can do!

"Yuri....don't-" I couldn't finish what I was going to say before another surge of pain went through me.

"Don't worry, Allen. I won't"

"You won't?" He wasn't going to let himself die?

"I won't let her live, she'll die for what she's done."

"No-" Another surge of pain and my hand starts to go limp, I wasn't going to be here for much longer.

"Just rest, Allen. I'll see you soon."

My vision was fading, I couldn't stay awake much longer.

"Goodbye, Allen. I'll miss you."

'I'll miss you too....'

Everything went black, I was going to leave him now.

*Sniff*

I felt something moist drop on my hands. I'm sorry Yuri, I did the best I could.

"So,we're gonna have to call you something now that you're here."

"..."

"You were lucky to survive that camp, let's call you "Irish" then"

"...Alright."

Goodbye, Yuri. I love you.

Please tell me what you think.

Nice, is this a draft? if so, can you make a more detailed expression on Allen's despair (both physically and psychically helpless) in the full chapter? Maybe that'll help pushing the emotion a bit more.

@General Hawk

LAWL Ange is awesome!

[wavehawk]

Originally Posted by ZeroXSEED

@General Hawk
LAWL Ange is awesome!

- And the more i look at close-ups of this figure the more I'm convinced this is a perfect representative for Ange. I mean look, the way her eyes look and how she smirks is perfect. Right down to Ange's character...
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1EFM56MWvz.../s1600/111.jpg

...I predict that "Ange. No." will quickly become a popular byword on this forum...

[Eratas123]

@ Senpai - How do I do that? I'm afraid I'm not very good in that sort of thing.

Anyway, here's a draft of the end of Michael's.

Spoiler:

I grit my teeth and hold onto my abdomen as hard as I could. The gunshot didn't hit anything fatal but I still lost some blood for it. The shards of glass really weren't helping things.

'He said there were other bombs, I need to go!'

I struggle to stand and I make my way towards the entrance. If what Nate said was true, then there were bombs on the industrial areas and the hospital, I can't let them go off!

I see the entrance and try to speed up my running. The more I stay here, the longer the chances of those things going off and killing thousands of people.

*BAM*

I smash through the door but I was facing another problem.

"Freeze!"

There was a barricade covering the entire area in front of me. Men and Women of different ages were pointing their guns at me.

"Put your hands in the air!"

"Wait...you don't understand!"

They didn't know about the bombs, if I let myself get caught then they'll go off.

"Stand down and put your hands in the air!"

"Let me through! People will die if you don't!"

I was acting delirious. Everything was hazy, the loss of blood and panic were getting to me.

"If you do not surrender, we will be forced to-"

I have no time for this!

I need to show them, then maybe they'll understand.

I grab the detonator for the disabled bomb and raise it above my head.

"Look! if you don't let me through-"

*BANG* *BANG*

Two gunshots rang through the air and I suddenly felt myself falling back and hitting the pavement. Blood oozed all around me and my vision started to fade.

"Good work, Akira!"

"Let's check his body for anything. He might have more detonators."

Footsteps were closing in all around me, I knew I was going to die.

"The detonator-" I struggle to say something, anything to warn them.

"Sir, this detonator was disabled!"

"What!?"

It looks like they figured it out. I don't think I can warn them anymore, everything was going dark.

"Hey, what's the meaning of this!?"

I couldn't answer him, I couldn't do anything anymore. Joshua, Irish, I'm sorry. I hope you can do what I couldn't.

"Sir, he's dead."

Please tell me what you think.

[ZeroXSEED]

Originally Posted by Eratas123

@ Senpai - How do I do that? I'm afraid I'm not very good in that sort of thing.

Anyway, here's a draft of the end of Michael's.

Spoiler:

I grit my teeth and hold onto my abdomen as hard as I could. The gunshot didn't hit anything fatal but I still lost some blood for it. The shards of glass really weren't helping things.

'He said there were other bombs, I need to go!'

I struggle to stand and I make my way towards the entrance. If what Nate said was true, then there were bombs on the industrial areas and the hospital, I can't let them go off!

I see the entrance and try to speed up my running. The more I stay here, the longer the chances of those things going off and killing thousands of people.

*BAM*

I smash through the door but I was facing another problem.

"Freeze!"

There was a barricade covering the entire area in front of me. Men and Women of different ages were pointing their guns at me.

"Put your hands in the air!"

"Wait...you don't understand!"

They didn't know about the bombs, if I let myself get caught then they'll go off.

"Stand down and put your hands in the air!"

"Let me through! People will die if you don't!"

I was acting delirious. Everything was hazy, the loss of blood and panic were getting to me.

"If you do not surrender, we will be forced to-"

I have no time for this!

I need to show them, then maybe they'll understand.

I grab the detonator for the disabled bomb and raise it above my head.

"Look! if you don't let me through-"

*BANG* *BANG*

Two gunshots rang through the air and I suddenly felt myself falling back and hitting the pavement. Blood oozed all around me and my vision started to fade.

"Good work, Akira!"

"Let's check his body for anything. He might have more detonators."

Footsteps were closing in all around me, I knew I was going to die.

"The detonator-" I struggle to say something, anything to warn them.

"Sir, this detonator was disabled!"

"What!?"

It looks like they figured it out. I don't think I can warn them anymore, everything was going dark.

"Hey, what's the meaning of this!?"

I couldn't answer him, I couldn't do anything anymore. Joshua, Irish, I'm sorry. I hope you can do what I couldn't.

"Sir, he's dead."

Please tell me what you think.

That was horriffic, now I'm chilled.

As for how do you it, just remember when you want to write Laura's Daydream, replace the emotion, then let it loose. Don't think, write.

EDIT: it's me or OC limitation for female >> male?

[HasuMasu]

Originally Posted by Eratas123

@ Zero and Box - By the way, I'm thinking of adding Honne in daydreams. Agree?

@ demino_hellsin - She's a Yandere and blatantly attacks Ichika a lot of times. Authors tend to be put off by those and don't bother pairing her with OC's.

Houki - John Smith (codename: Kamizame)

Charotte - None yet

Rin - Adam (an OC of mine)

Cecilia - Inami Arisawa

Laura - Kyuukai Tokiwa

Tabane - Iori Senbei

Maya - Marvelous Maximillian

Chifuyu - Yoshi O'Brien

Tatenashi - Irish (Probably getting flamed to hell for this)

Kanzashi - None yet.

^ Updated.

[ZeroXSEED]

Mangatron won't be happy....

[Saint X]

Originally Posted by Eratas123

@ demino_hellsin - This is Japan! What teenager doesn't have a cellphone?

Yachiyo Todoroki wants to have a word with you.

*is sliced*

still typing left and right for me.

[Eratas123]

@ Senpai - Of course it's easier to write a female OC, they don't have the limitations that males do about piloting IS.

Side note - I'm afraid I screwed up the draft since I don't know how to write about dying protags. Hm, maybe I'll write one for Irish.

@ Hawke - Where is Ange's story taking place?

[demino_hellsin]

I misunderstood dark matter... particle physics is complicated...

[ZeroXSEED]

Originally Posted by Eratas123

@ Senpai - Of course it's easier to write a female OC, they don't have the limitations that males do about piloting IS.

That or we often fell to a trap about "In harem works, unbelievable girl is fine, unbelievable guy is no-no", incidentally because most of (normal) harem reader is male. You can just reverse the rule when it comes to reverse harem.

It's a challenge, but sometimes even my sister wonder about that (she helped me writing fic, but her English is even worse)

Originally Posted by Eratas123

Side note - I'm afraid I screwed up the draft since I don't know how to write about dying protags. Hm, maybe I'll write one for Irish.

Wut?????

Well, you might try, maybe if you use a more fleshed out character as training wheel, it'll be good.

(As long as it wasn't goin to be inserted in main story of course....)

Originally Posted by demino_hellsin

I misunderstood dark matter... particle physics is complicated...

That's why I said it's near implausible.

[Eratas123]

@ Senpai - I meant more on the fact that these characters who are dying have time to monologue about what their thinking.

[Yachiyo]

500 pages, wow

Edit: Still no progress in my fic Imma take a break for awhile,,,....

Originally Posted by Saint X

Yachiyo Todoroki wants to have a word with you.

*is sliced*

still typing left and right for me.

SOMEONE CALLED ME? No, that's not me...

I forgot my name

[ZeroXSEED]

Lawlz....

Still searching for scanner....

[Eratas123]

@ Senpai - Chidodev project ia killing me! Anyway, the Daydreams chapter for Laura is being annoying me since I don't know if I should include the VT system or not

[HasuMasu]

Ichika: "Dammit, another crime scene wiped to the last corner of evidence, just who could it be!?"
Tatenashi: "Ah~ Ichika-kun, they weren't able to get rid of everything, take a look. *points to floor*"
Ichika: "*picks up* Mother of God, this is...HAM!!!! It all makes sense now."
Tatenashi: "*jumps up and down* Oh, Ichika-sama praised me, onee-san loves you too. *tries to jump on Ichika*"
Ushio: "*facepalm* They're actually pretty good at this...when they focus."

Oh God, the crack is consuming me.

[Yachiyo]

Originally Posted by Eratas123

@ Senpai - Chidodev project ia killing me! Anyway, the Daydreams chapter for Laura is being annoying me since I don't know if I should include the VT system or not

Hi there, just asking about my fic now. I had a new idea in here, you can send me what you've revised in that chapter. I don't mind if it's done or not