Dating

[cheyannew]

OK folks, if you have to battle someone one on one (or at all, IMO), please take it to PMs, lest the topic get too far derailed...

There's no reason things can't be debated civilly, without insults and th elike being hurled about...


(Sorry, I just have to watch (and moderate) forum battles all day at work, seeing it here is meh)

[Ricky Controversy]

Originally Posted by Jjo

Not very romantic, just a normal non-"girly" (his words) date that my boyfriend can't complain about.

Seeing as you're in Boston, there's a wealth of things to do:
1. You could visit the MFA, if either of you are much into the arts.
2. You could try an independent restaurant you haven't before, in which case I have a few recommendations.
3. Head to the Prudential shopping center and look through the stores before seeing a movie nearby.
4. Take a walk through Newbury Street and the surrounding area, perhaps down to the Commons, where, if it's your thing, you can go ice-skating this time of year.
5. See a concert, perhaps at the House of Blues (formerly Avalon) near Fenway Park.

That's just a small sampling of options.

[Ricky Controversy]

Might I also add that Harvard Square, Porter Square, Davis Square and Kendall Square are all hoppin' places to spend an evening and are readily accessible by the Red Line? Central Square can be lively, but it can also get a bit sketchy at night time, so I'd advise against it. I spend a fair bit of time just hanging out in the city, so I can always give more specific recommendations.

[NightWish]

As you might notice I've removed a bunch of posts. Some might have been collateral damage, so sorry to anyone who lost a post because a couple of people couldn't stay civil and on-topic.

Please remind yourselves of this if you feel the urge to veer off again:

Originally Posted by cheyannew

if you have to battle someone one on one (or at all, IMO), please take it to PMs, lest the topic get too far derailed...

Emphasis added by me.

[Asuras]

Sorry.

Okay, so I realize before I've posted about my refrain from getting into a relationship, and how education is my priority.

Well I'm in a predicament now.

There's a girl named Crystal on my swim team, and we've been talking together for quite awhile now. I've had a hunch over her feelings, and they've slowly been becoming more and more apparent. I like her too, and though I've said before the a girlfriend at this age is pointless, I can't help but still feel.

As I realize we're growing closer and closer, and the fact that I've never been in a relationship (or even close to one for that matter), I have no idea how it eventually turns out?

Do I ask her to go out with me if it eventually gets to that point? How do I know when that point is here? Do I ask her to be my girlfriend? When?

I realize that this isn't necessarily the way it will turn out, as we may just be becoming better and better friends, but just in case.

[Ricky Controversy]

Originally Posted by Asuras

Sorry.

Okay, so I realize before I've posted about my refrain from getting into a relationship, and how education is my priority.

Well I'm in a predicament now.

There's a girl named Crystal on my swim team, and we've been talking together for quite awhile now. I've had a hunch over her feelings, and they've slowly been becoming more and more apparent. I like her too, and though I've said before the a girlfriend at this age is pointless, I can't help but still feel.

As I realize we're growing closer and closer, and the fact that I've never been in a relationship (or even close to one for that matter), I have no idea how it eventually turns out?

Do I ask her to go out with me if it eventually gets to that point? How do I know when that point is here? Do I ask her to be my girlfriend? When?

I realize that this isn't necessarily the way it will turn out, as we may just be becoming better and better friends, but just in case.

If you like her and you think there's a chance she may reciprocate, you may as well take a chance and go on some dates. While I tend to be the super-committal type, this doesn't need to be how you go about things: not every dating situation has to be in pursuit of 'the one and only'.

As for how you know whether you're at 'that point' or not...that's something only you can judge, because 'that point' is different for everyone. Some people will ask others out simply if they like the way that person looks. Others have to fall head-over-heels to even consider it. I will say that if you find yourself seriously reconsidering your 'no relationships at this age' statement for this girl, then you are probably at 'that point'.

[Knightrunner]

Originally Posted by Asuras

Sorry.

Okay, so I realize before I've posted about my refrain from getting into a relationship, and how education is my priority.

Well I'm in a predicament now.

There's a girl named Crystal on my swim team, and we've been talking together for quite awhile now. I've had a hunch over her feelings, and they've slowly been becoming more and more apparent. I like her too, and though I've said before the a girlfriend at this age is pointless, I can't help but still feel.

As I realize we're growing closer and closer, and the fact that I've never been in a relationship (or even close to one for that matter), I have no idea how it eventually turns out?

Do I ask her to go out with me if it eventually gets to that point? How do I know when that point is here? Do I ask her to be my girlfriend? When?

I realize that this isn't necessarily the way it will turn out, as we may just be becoming better and better friends, but just in case.

If I were you I would take her out for coffee or jamba juice. Or maybe you guys can talk more in your university cafeteria (usually a nice place). This way you can have a fun time and maybe a valuable friend

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by Asuras

Sorry.

Okay, so I realize before I've posted about my refrain from getting into a relationship, and how education is my priority.

Well I'm in a predicament now.

There's a girl named Crystal on my swim team, and we've been talking together for quite awhile now. I've had a hunch over her feelings, and they've slowly been becoming more and more apparent. I like her too, and though I've said before the a girlfriend at this age is pointless, I can't help but still feel.

As I realize we're growing closer and closer, and the fact that I've never been in a relationship (or even close to one for that matter), I have no idea how it eventually turns out?

Do I ask her to go out with me if it eventually gets to that point? How do I know when that point is here? Do I ask her to be my girlfriend? When?

I realize that this isn't necessarily the way it will turn out, as we may just be becoming better and better friends, but just in case.

No one knows just what to do for those first few dates and first relationship. But that's why you date and why you get into relationships, for the experience. The more you go on, the more you understand and the better you become at it; and we all have to start somewhere.

So yeah, just ask her out some place. Ask her if there's a place she'd like to go, or a movie she'd like to see... some place you two can just go and hang out. Ultimately, that's what dating is; two people doing stuff together to have fun. Think about where you'd go with a normal friend to have fun, and take her there. But I usually advocate asking, if you don't know where she'd like to go.

[Ascaloth]

Originally Posted by Asuras

Sorry.

Okay, so I realize before I've posted about my refrain from getting into a relationship, and how education is my priority.

Well I'm in a predicament now.

There's a girl named Crystal on my swim team, and we've been talking together for quite awhile now. I've had a hunch over her feelings, and they've slowly been becoming more and more apparent. I like her too, and though I've said before the a girlfriend at this age is pointless, I can't help but still feel.

As I realize we're growing closer and closer, and the fact that I've never been in a relationship (or even close to one for that matter), I have no idea how it eventually turns out?

Do I ask her to go out with me if it eventually gets to that point? How do I know when that point is here? Do I ask her to be my girlfriend? When?

I realize that this isn't necessarily the way it will turn out, as we may just be becoming better and better friends, but just in case.

Go on some dates? Coffee or jamba juice? Hang out at the movies or some such place?

Baaaah, what a bunch of wimps. Be a man and try this instead.

[Khu]

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

Go on some dates? Coffee or jamba juice? Hang out at the movies or some such place?

Baaaah, what a bunch of wimps. Be a man and try this instead.

HE'S A MANLY MAN.

Also, this is my form of asking someone out like a ninja.

And then my idea of following it up.

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

Go on some dates? Coffee or jamba juice? Hang out at the movies or some such place?

Baaaah, what a bunch of wimps. Be a man and try this instead.

I am glad I didn't follow that advice. Thus I lived to type this post today.

[SuigetsuKun]

I know what you mean Sin, but it can't be helped. No risk, no fun. That's the way it is. Some people decide not to take the risk, but that means forbidding oneself to fall in love - and of course that means you won't be loved.

It's stupid, but a lot of people get hurt deeply. One part is always more in love than the other and one breaks up while the other breaks apart afterwards.

Love is only that good because it gets so deep. There is no true superficial love. Love means taking risks. Nevertheless, you can do something to protect yourself from getting hurt. Love yourself. Nobody can love you when you don't love yourself. It will always be problematic when you don't come to loving yourself first. Once you love yourself, even the most surprising separation won't be as hard as what you've experienced by now.

Love yourself 100%, give 50% to your partner and let him or her give you 50% of the love she/he has for herself. That's a healthy symbiosis.

You can never fill the gap in a person's heart or make a person fill yours.

[Khu]

^ Don't end up like that. If you keep waitin and waitin, nothing will happen. Whatcha expect? XD

Cos I just haven't met you yet~

[Nightbat®]

Originally Posted by SuigetsuKun

Love is only that good because it gets so deep. There is no true superficial love. Love means taking risks. Nevertheless, you can do something to protect yourself from getting hurt. Love yourself. Nobody can love you when you don't love yourself. It will always be problematic when you don't come to loving yourself first. Once you love yourself, even the most surprising separation won't be as hard as what you've experienced by now.

Narcism?

I fail to see how that would help, I would imagine if you wish to love yourself you would grant yourself happiness, not heartache

I do not think there are any "preventing measures" you can take
In general I thing rationalising does help -afterwards-, since looking at things objectively already creates an emotional distance

In reality, dealing with heartache is the same as dealing with a death of a close one
the more it happens - the more desensitized you become - the easier it is to deal with

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Khu

^ Don't end up like that. If you keep waitin and waitin, nothing will happen. Whatcha expect? XD

Cos I just haven't met you yet~

Eh, I personally believe there's another kind of fun in hanging out and waiting. You never know who will cross your path.

[Miyuki-ism]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Eh, I personally believe there's another kind of fun in hanging out and waiting. You never know who will cross your path.

I believe you'd have to be a really lucky person to find someone without actively trying.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Miyuki-ism

I believe you'd have to be a really lucky person to find someone without actively trying.

It's happened to me before once or twice, so I have some faith in it, personally.

[GN0010 Nosferatu]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

It's happened to me before once or twice, so I have some faith in it, personally.

Likewise, sometimes they just come to you.

[Asuras]

Well the date to Panda Express turned out just fine.

Except for the fact that I forgot to pay for her. And I forgot to walker her home.

F***

[Ricky Controversy]

Originally Posted by Asuras

Well the date to Panda Express turned out just fine.

Except for the fact that I forgot to pay for her. And I forgot to walker her home.

F***

...get out of my sight, you savage. Where is your gentlemanly virtue!?

Just kidding: glad it went smoothly.

But seriously, get your s*** in order, SIR.