2012-02-08, 23:19
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Link #21342 |
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I am no one
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Inside your head
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As they grow up, they began to set some priority.
As they get into adolescence, the priorities itself suddenly piling up, creating worries and uncertain. This is why Adolescence is considered a crisis in a person's life, either you succeed or fluked. (And the reason people said Growing up Suck)
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2012-02-09, 00:18
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Link #21346 |
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Head of FRACTURE R&D
Join Date: Oct 2011
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Well, I'm back from chores.
@ Eratas and anyone else interested in HotM's rewrite: The story will have some similarities, and some differences. First thing needed to be addressed is Kyuukai. He will be revamped to be more believable, likeable, and a more fleshed out character from the outset. The next thing is his relationship with Laura. It will be changed from the beginning to be more believable, romantic, and plausible. The final thing is the plot. The general idea along the canon timeline shall be the same. But it will take a serious turn when Kyuukai goes to fight a bit earlier than planned. The reason he's out on the battlefield will also be more plausible. Instead of being enlisted, his first "legitimate" battle is because he snuck out with a squad to fight. He ends up saving one of them during a firefight, while he pisses his pants and nearly gets killed. Ryuu Tokiwa will gain a slightly larger role, so will Tabane. And I have a COMPLETLELY fleshed out plot ahead for Ichika. So you can expect half of the POV to be of Kyuukai, and the other half to be Ichika's. Not exactly 50/50 per chapter, but by the time the story is finished, they will have more or less equal spotlight. Those are my main points. Detail is another, I guess. I want to make it more detailed instead of just one sentence descriptions. Example A (Old writing style): I looked into my mother's eyes, through the aftermath of the explosion. She was disheveled, and looked down on me with a pout. "Don't do that, Kyuu-chan." Example B (New writing style): I looked into wine-red eyes through the smoke, as grimy hands softly held my shoulders. A fair face was framed by purple hair, freckled with dirt. A mechanical whirr reached my ears as two long ears, those of a rabbit's, flapped at me. "Did I do something wrong?" The woman, my mother, shook her head. "No, Kyuu-chan. But you know better than that to disturb Mommy when she's working with weapons of mass destruction." She chimed. Her mechanical ear flicked dirt off her hair. And it landed in my eye. Surprisingly delicate hands brushed away at the mix of oils and dust. She giggled, bounding up and down on her heels. "Okay Mommy." I answered. She brushed away drywall from my hair, placing a cloth to my mouth so I wouldn't breathe in anything bad. "Come on, Kyuu-chan. Let's get you somewhere safer." |
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2012-02-09, 02:13
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Link #21354 |
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I am no one
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Inside your head
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You say that Lazy? I spend hours upon hours in this very thread (Character Creation and Fanfiction discussion thread, by the way) and neglecting my duty as writer. That's not even comical, I missed the point COMPLETELY.
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2012-02-09, 02:37
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Link #21356 |
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I am no one
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Inside your head
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At least you're having other fic (which arguably, less gratuitous because you're already developed your skill), in case of mine, I was tormented between which route I should I take with my OC, and he's not even the main character.
 Note - Laura, overall.
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| fanfic ideas, fanfiction, ff.net, harem, is fanfic, warning fanfic spoilers, wincest |
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As always, I'll be copying that writing style for 1st person POV's. I borrowed Fujin's for third person.
