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Old 2008-10-31, 10:15   Link #821
Rodo K.
The Other Alice
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
I've never really dated anyone in my whole 16 years. My mom thinks i'm too young, and she's probably right. Plus I'm not ready for a relationship or all the drama. I'm just way too childish or shy. :/
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Old 2008-10-31, 12:09   Link #822
NightShade99
Naughty & Nice
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: I travel alot....but at the moment i'm in Hawaii
Age: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rodo K. View Post
I've never really dated anyone in my whole 16 years. My mom thinks i'm too young, and she's probably right. Plus I'm not ready for a relationship or all the drama. I'm just way too childish or shy. :/
I think you and your Mom is 100% right becuz there is so much
drama when it comes to a realationship and you have to be ready ^_^
and saying that ur not ready for a relationship or the drama
tells me me that ur actually not childish ^_^
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Old 2008-10-31, 12:36   Link #823
Amray
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: England
Age: 33
There is no girl that is above me as it is usually vice versa. I am just really good looking, you see.

More seriously though, if ever a girl does seem a lot more higher and out of reach towards me then I usually do not like them anyway. The type of girls that care more about their appearance than their education and what not, yes they may seem pretty, but they are more dimmer than a campfire that has been lit in a storm for five hours. Not my type of girl at all.

I prefer a specific type of girl so I do not have to look up at these girls that are too good for me, if there are actually any. I like the small and cute girls, so that is all that I look for.
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Old 2008-10-31, 12:37   Link #824
Xvoki
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: UK
Age: 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rodo K. View Post
I've never really dated anyone in my whole 16 years. My mom thinks i'm too young, and she's probably right. Plus I'm not ready for a relationship or all the drama. I'm just way too childish or shy. :/
I agree with your mom, 16 is to young... In fact, I think a law should be in place to ban all dating before the age of 21! Enjoy your childhood first, it doesn't last long, then you have the rest of your life to date.
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Old 2008-10-31, 12:39   Link #825
Waking_Dreamer
Dreamer King
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: lost - with no intention to be found...
Age: 38
Wow, its must be really something to be able to pick and chose among so many who approach you .

I know as a guy when one of my friends gets a girlfriend, while dont get me wrong Im happy for him/them, its not so much an achievement if she was the one that asked him out. Its like its nice you have a girlfriend but you shouldn't be bragging too much, I mean the ability to say yes or no isnt that awe-inspiring .

On the other hand I also have friends who built up the courage - put their heads on the chopping block and asked the girl out. One time a girl admired from afar, (she was a cute waitress at a restaurant), and another scenario with a girl who was a close friend he hanged out with a lot...Lest just say we dont go to a particular restaurant or see a particular girl anymore...

Anyway, while they never did get the girl and spent some time rolling on the floor to extinguish the fires of that plane wreck, respect to those friend definitely went up .
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Old 2008-10-31, 12:48   Link #826
Waking_Dreamer
Dreamer King
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: lost - with no intention to be found...
Age: 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xvoki View Post
I agree with your mom, 16 is to young... In fact, I think a law should be in place to ban all dating before the age of 21! Enjoy your childhood first, it doesn't last long, then you have the rest of your life to date.
I totally agree too! The law should have been made long a go. 21 so that everyone has a solid chance of getting their emotions/hormones and head on straight...and also so that now I dont have to catch up so much
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Old 2008-10-31, 12:51   Link #827
NightShade99
Naughty & Nice
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: I travel alot....but at the moment i'm in Hawaii
Age: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by Waking_Dreamer View Post
I totally agree too! The law should have been made long a go. 21 so that everyone has a solid chance of getting their emotions/hormones and head on straight...and also so that now I dont have to catch up so much
But still I had one of my biggest crushes when i was 14 and dated
this amazing guy.......but he had to leave T_T..........i guess its good as
long as it is puppy love.........nothing too intensive ^_^
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Old 2008-10-31, 13:09   Link #828
Waking_Dreamer
Dreamer King
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: lost - with no intention to be found...
Age: 38
Yea...I know as a teenager you are totally racked with insecurities (some unfortunately more so than others) and you feel all these highs and lows and you dont know why or how to deal with it.

The sensation of simply holding someones hand in public knowing they like you can be a total high, while the anger and sadness of not know why they dont anymore can be crushing. Of course you dont have to be in relationships at that age to not get whats happening in you life. I remember at 14 I could being so angry at times...and I didnt even know why...freaking hormones.

The fact is dating can come more easily for some people than others. Some start young, some start in their 20s some haven't even dated once at the age of 26. Its really unfortunate its not fair. If only you could approach someone you had interest in, spend some time talking to them, getting to know them - without any embarrassment or awkwardness and whether it pans out or not just say your farewells without reverberating issues.
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Old 2008-10-31, 13:25   Link #829
Amray
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: England
Age: 33
Love is both the most greatest, yet the most tragic thing there is.

Relationships are nice and happy when in progress, but if it ends it is a horrible thing for somebody to go through with a lot of sorrow to follow it.
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Old 2008-10-31, 13:32   Link #830
Narona
Emotionless White Face
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystique
Refused to start? O.o
Short of them doing something or having habits that are on your 'no no' list, that's a bit judgemental, no?
When you felt nothing towards someone, it's not hard to know that you don't want to start anything with that person . For the "habits" comment, I replied in the PM.

Quote:
Also as you get older you tend to find things aren't so black and white. Sometimes someone who you think is no good at the start could really be the one for you.
I explained myself by PM. I will add that being single doesn't mean that you can't enjoy Life and be happy

One of my most precious wish in my life though is to have children, to be with a man as great as my father (I know I know, freud blablabla <_<.) and to be a mother as great as my mom, but it might not happen. As I said in another thread, you can't always get what you want.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Anh_Minh View Post
I think life would be simpler if people wore nametags, color coded for marital status.

Though I guess there'd be problems with wearing the color for "married, but looking for an affair."
I'm rolling on the floor XD

Last edited by Narona; 2008-10-31 at 13:42.
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Old 2008-10-31, 13:45   Link #831
BOOKGLUTTON
;;'
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: California
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xvoki View Post
In fact, I think a law should be in place to ban all dating before the age of 21!
That's insane, I hope you aren't serious. Granted some relationships literally do nothing but drama and retardation, it would be cruel to deprive someone of the chance at finding love.
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Old 2008-10-31, 14:05   Link #832
Xvoki
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: UK
Age: 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by BOOKGLUTTON View Post
That's insane, I hope you aren't serious. Granted some relationships literally do nothing but drama and retardation, it would be cruel to deprive someone of the chance at finding love.
Yes. I am evil... Har,har,har.......
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Old 2008-10-31, 14:48   Link #833
Anh_Minh
I disagree with you all.
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xvoki View Post
I agree with your mom, 16 is to young... In fact, I think a law should be in place to ban all dating before the age of 21! Enjoy your childhood first, it doesn't last long, then you have the rest of your life to date.
Exactly. If you're not old enough to get plastered on tequila and wake up married to a stranger, you're not old enough to date.
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Old 2008-10-31, 14:52   Link #834
Amray
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: England
Age: 33
So I am restricted from dating Loli's?
That is no problem actually though as I only go for fictional ones anyway.
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Old 2008-10-31, 14:55   Link #835
Waking_Dreamer
Dreamer King
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: lost - with no intention to be found...
Age: 38
Just curious on the whole old enough for dating...

For the people who havent started dating and for those who have, or currently single what is the age where you should have at least started dating...?

Is it all on the individual or is there and age where you reach, the fact you havent started dated seems a bit...peculiar (not wrong...just a little unusual). Any opinions?
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Old 2008-10-31, 15:00   Link #836
Amray
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: England
Age: 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Waking_Dreamer View Post
For the people who havent started dating and for those who have, or currently single what is the age where you should have at least started dating...?
There is no specified age for which people should start dating, and nor should there be one at all. It is up to the individual at what age they should start having 'dates' and also whether they actually want to.

I have refused starting relationships with girls that 'liked' me for the simple fact that I would rather have college and education out of the way first. Having a relationship carrys a very big burden, one in which I am not willing to carry until I am successful in my chosen career path and have completed college. If I meet someone really special during that time then I may consider it but that is all.
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Old 2008-10-31, 19:13   Link #837
Mystique
Honyaku no Hime
*Fansubber
 
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the eastern capital of the islands of the rising suns...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amray View Post
There is no specified age for which people should start dating, and nor should there be one at all. It is up to the individual at what age they should start having 'dates' and also whether they actually want to.

I have refused starting relationships with girls that 'liked' me for the simple fact that I would rather have college and education out of the way first. Having a relationship carries a very big burden, one in which I am not willing to carry until I am successful in my chosen career path and have completed college. If I meet someone really special during that time then I may consider it but that is all.
He kinda says it all with his own example.
Like I've mentioned before, relationships during early/mid teens tend to be like a shooting star, incredibly strong and poignant but they can burn out fast (by this i mean from a month to a year)
It's a period of such rapid change, physically, mentally and emotionally, not to mention everyone is going through various stages of education, where going to uni (or 6th form for us at age 16) may cause distance between the couple, sometimes it's easier to mutually break up and find your own paths.
For some people, they simply don't want the responsibility nor can dedicate their energy to keeping a relationship healthy, but would rather focus on their studies and themselves first.
For some people in their teens, they see dating as 'practice', don't look for anything too serious until they are in their 20's and are slightly mature.
Depends on the individual and from i'm hearing lately, the area where pple live for the opportunity.
Me personally say '17/18 onwards' cause at this time high school is over, we're in the transition stage before entering uni and for some reason people suddenly mature a hell of a lot in 6th form colleges, lol.
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"If you ain't laughin', you ain't livin'." - Carlos Mencia
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Old 2008-10-31, 19:34   Link #838
Ledgem
Love Yourself
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
I am one of them. I always refused to start a relationship because I knew they were not the right person.
I may be echoing mystique or I may just like to think that she agrees with me, but I don't think you can judge it. You need to get to know the person in a one-on-one setting. You can do this by becoming close friends or by dating. If you do it through the friend route that introduces a few other complications, although it's still viable. I just don't believe that you can tell who is perfect for you as though there were some sixth sense, and I partially speak from experience. I consider myself to be an exceptional judge of character, and while I was looking for a relationship I was not so desperate that I would link up with someone who did not meet my high standards. In hindsight, I did a good job of convincing myself that the first person I linked up with met and surpassed these expectations. After a few weeks of dating I recognized my own inner feelings of hurt and dissatisfaction, and I cut the relationship.

No drama, no mucking around. I discovered new things about myself from that relationship (which was sex-less, by the way) and more importantly, I discovered that there was an incompatibility. Or perhaps there was a compatibility, but I wasn't strong enough to deal with any conflicts that arose.

Either way, some dating experience can only help you. You'll learn about how to communicate with a partner, you'll learn what you really like and dislike, and you'll learn about some of those feelings that you may have not yet experienced. I disagree that you need to date a lot, but definitely don't enter into a relationship immediately thinking "this is the one - for life." From my own experience, while it may make you more dedicated, it'll also make you less honest with yourself. That may cause you to prolong a bad relationship.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NightShade99 View Post
I think you and your Mom is 100% right becuz there is so much
drama when it comes to a realationship and you have to be ready ^_^
There doesn't have to be drama.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Waking_Dreamer View Post
I know as a guy when one of my friends gets a girlfriend, while dont get me wrong Im happy for him/them, its not so much an achievement if she was the one that asked him out. Its like its nice you have a girlfriend but you shouldn't be bragging too much, I mean the ability to say yes or no isnt that awe-inspiring .
Don't take this the wrong way, but you sound jealous. Having a girl come to you could mean a few things; it could be that you're so dashingly good-looking that she couldn't help herself, but it could also be that you charmed her into it. That takes some talent and good chemistry. Of course, at the end of the day a relationship shouldn't be a trophy, or a mark of skill or courage.
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Old 2008-10-31, 20:19   Link #839
Narona
Emotionless White Face
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ledgem View Post
I may be echoing mystique or I may just like to think that she agrees with me, but I don't think you can judge it. You need to get to know the person in a one-on-one setting. You can do this by becoming close friends or by dating. If you do it through the friend route that introduces a few other complications, although it's still viable. I just don't believe that you can tell who is perfect for you as though there were some sixth sense, and I partially speak from experience. I consider myself to be an exceptional judge of character, and while I was looking for a relationship I was not so desperate that I would link up with someone who did not meet my high standards. In hindsight, I did a good job of convincing myself that the first person I linked up with met and surpassed these expectations. After a few weeks of dating I recognized my own inner feelings of hurt and dissatisfaction, and I cut the relationship.

No drama, no mucking around. I discovered new things about myself from that relationship (which was sex-less, by the way) and more importantly, I discovered that there was an incompatibility. Or perhaps there was a compatibility, but I wasn't strong enough to deal with any conflicts that arose.

Either way, some dating experience can only help you. You'll learn about how to communicate with a partner, you'll learn what you really like and dislike, and you'll learn about some of those feelings that you may have not yet experienced. I disagree that you need to date a lot, but definitely don't enter into a relationship immediately thinking "this is the one - for life." From my own experience, while it may make you more dedicated, it'll also make you less honest with yourself. That may cause you to prolong a bad relationship.
My wording was bad, I was talking about the persons who asked me on a date, but I didn't want to start something just like this with those persons.

About the rest, you're not aware about a lot of things (I don't blame you at all!), but I just don't feel like writing another PM to another person about a private thing like this. ^^

About the bolded part, I don't want to change, so I hope it will not happen for me.
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Old 2008-10-31, 20:54   Link #840
Mystique
Honyaku no Hime
*Fansubber
 
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the eastern capital of the islands of the rising suns...
Actually, I’ll step in a little, since she did pm me with specifics of which I won’t mention here, but I think her meaning was slightly lost in translation.

@ narona – first off I think your concept of a date, in comparison to like me or Ledgem is different.
For us, we’re saying that when you get good vibes of someone on the first meet, when you see that they seem to share similar ideas and beliefs are you, the ‘date’ is just another meeting that could simply be at a café, where you continue to talk and find out about each other.
The media portrays a date as, fancy restaurants, lots of money spent, it can get to that stage but that isn’t the only environment a date can be in.
All depends on the people involved.
You said you wanna get to know someone better before going on a date, but then how are you gonna get to know then if you don’t go on a date…?
- Is why I was thinking your thoughts were somewhat judgemental.
Secondly, ideals of marriage and babies, well see to mention that straight up on the first few dates would probably scare most men, lol.
You kinda enter a relationship with the intention, though I can understand the guys who’re like ‘kids?! Marriage!? Uh no, let’s just mess around.’
Then sure, I can understand why you’re like ‘no thanks.’

But you’re 20 and basing a ‘1 person for life’ ideology from how your parents met (which may apply to most of our parents generation) and comparing that to the teenagers of society today, (which we all seem really fickle in comparison huh?)
It can’t be done, times change, attitudes towards sex change too.
I’ll give an example, a friend of mine is now engaged to the woman he hopes to spend the rest of his life with and have kids.
When they began, it was on a casual basis and they were friends for many many years.
Huge, big risk they took, but luckily for him it’s paying off.
Before that, he met the 1st love of his life when he was 18 and did everything for her, she was ‘the one’, kids, marriage, the whole bundle.
Up until life changed and she had to go abroad to study, (they were 24 by this time, so 6 years) – and she sadly was unfaithful.
You never know, you can never tell.

I think with Ledgem’s last point, he’s also saying ‘be careful not to delude yourself into staying in an unhealthy relationship’
If the person seems like the ‘right one’ but later in life he changes to the point where he doesn’t respect you, don’t think ‘but we share the same ideas.’ – marriage and kids are initial desires, but then when those are done what next?
What else do you share that’ll keep you interested in each other for life?
While some guys may not express that they want kids and marriage anytime soon, that doesn’t mean they don’t want it at all.
That also doesn’t mean that you’d have to have sex before marriage either, like I said it depends on the people involved. A relationship can go as fast or as slow as the couple involved want, it just matters if you’re both honest and dedicated to spend energy on seeing if something can work out between the pair of you.
While the ideals of our parents generation are seeming harder to find, since we’re all drowning in a sex obsessed world (within the west)
–remember there are people out there who feel the same as you, just the initial way of finding them may not seem as clear cut from the start as it was 30 years back.
Hence I said, give some people a chance, be patient too.
But you’re 20, so it gets to like 23 ish when guys may take kids and marriage into more consideration.
Be aware though that you can also be manipulated within the first few meetings or dates. While you may see someone who ‘seems’ like the perfect person, the further you dedicate yourself to them, the more trapped you’ll end up being when they show their true colours.

I guess the bottom line is to ‘keep an open mind’ – don’t refer to methods or experiences used 10,20 years back to find the one true love, keep your beliefs but don’t be so quick to cross of potential people who may seem not so suitable at first.
Sometimes it may take 2 or 3 semi serious relationships before you find them, instead of the 1, but through those experiences, you'll be a stronger, (hopefully) more confident person by the time you finally find the one for you.
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"If you ain't laughin', you ain't livin'." - Carlos Mencia
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