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demino_hellsin · 2012-11-06, 08:06

Hmmm... odd title. Tell me what you think.

"Her Star and His Sky"

Eratas123 · 2012-11-06, 08:08

@ Senpai - I was planning to change Irish's fighting style to require less flip and add more on quickness and brutality. So far Dual wielding knives and a larger weapon seem to be best.

ZeroXSEED · 2012-11-06, 08:12

Once again, one knife is better. First thing first, you use the other hand freely. Example, grab someone, stab the jugular, shove aside, stab the second guy in the stomach etc.

Source: real boot camp in the nearby base

Of course, there's always rule of cool to consider.

Eratas123 · 2012-11-06, 08:16

Yeah, rule of cool's in effect here

Example: He uses a machete and stabs the person through the mouth, pushes the hilt to the left so hard that the head spins 360, then grabs the Machete again.

ZeroXSEED · 2012-11-06, 08:17

Lolwut

Just like Ichika in the dark AU

err... where is that draft again? I forgot where to put it

Eratas123 · 2012-11-06, 08:23

As I said, I planned to make him more of an Anti-hero rather than "Good guy who happens to be on the wrong side".

That means less likeable traits, more pragmatic fighting style, and decidedly unheroic actions.

ZeroXSEED · 2012-11-06, 08:39

Well, AU!Ichika is less unheroic and more like Knight Templar. He found a hacker that tinkering with military training operation for a kick, causing many injured and at least one death, well... Ichika put him in an outdated mech in the next combat deployment separated from everyone else, cue slaughter by the aliens.

"Where is your reset button?" indeed.

demino_hellsin · 2012-11-06, 08:47

Is 1 week too fast to roll out a mass production series of the fake IS in limited production?

ZeroXSEED · 2012-11-06, 08:51

Depends

If you put a country's worth of industrial facilities, that might be possible.

I use Gundam as parameter, BTW.

demino_hellsin · 2012-11-06, 08:53

Does Phantom Task's resources count for a country's?

ZeroXSEED · 2012-11-06, 08:57

Seems to imply a couple of third world country, so maybe yes.

In mine though, their output is barely reach ten per month. This is because logistic track has to be kept at bare minimum, even though PT is larger than canon. ad to the fact that their supporters are mostly poor, dissatisfied corporation and countries.

This changes after forced takeover though.

demino_hellsin · 2012-11-06, 09:00

Guess I'll have to do some tweaking. Thanks zero. I'ma sign out early today.

Eratas123 · 2012-11-06, 09:19

Need to make the next chapter for Synchronicity. Going to sleep now.

agetreme · 2012-11-06, 12:15

I don't think I have show much of Watt's personality in the first chapter... which means I don't need to rewrite the entire thing. Just a few modification and show his crazy side by through his interaction with others.

demino_hellsin · 2012-11-06, 21:11

Spoiler for part 2 of Chifuyu's opening statement:

The late night was eating away at her vision. The pounding in her head slowly developing into nausea as she stopped by a section of fence to lean on. Another session of emptying her stomach threatened to happen when she tasted bitter bile rising up her throat. She held it in and tilted her head up. She closed her eyes hoping the vile mixture would go down.

Once the danger of embarrassing herself further subsided, the woman opened her eyes and saw a dark night sky. There were no stars, just the moon. She laughed to herself. For some reason this vast darkness echoed with something inside of her. A starless night, one that swallowed everything and covered it in nothingness. Reminiscing her youth, other girls would wish on stars whenever they fell from the sky. She had always thought it foolish. She stopped believing in such things the moment when she learned she had to grow up. No one could save her, the only one who could save anyone was herself. But even as these thoughts filled her, she couldn't help whispering words of hope.

“Someone, please save me.”

She felt like an idiot when she realized what she'd done. Twenty and three, still wishing on stars. All the worse as there were no stars to wish on. Chifuyu sighed and determined to continue her floundering walk home.

A flicker of light called back the depressed woman's attention. Her peripheral vision just catching that thread of white carving down the black canvas sky. Hysterical laughter slowly bubbled up in Chifuyu. It was all too surreal and maybe even absurd. It almost seemed like the skies were giving her a sign. She settled down soon enough and enjoyed the rest of the dim light show. Her heart lifting with every star that fell.

It was over in a minute, one that felt like forever in the darkness. Chifuyu waited in case there were more but there seemed to be none left, except for one. She'd noticed it before. It was a bright point of light. While all the others fell, it just seemed to grow brighter and brighter as seconds ticked by. She thought it odd but didn't mind it much in favor of the others. But now it was over, it called all of her attention to it.

“What a weird star. Almost reminds me of the North Star.”, Chifuyu pushed herself off the fence, feeling a hundred times better.

It wasn't that farfetched to say so. It was probably big enough to cover with her thumb now. Chifuyu tested that theory and smiled when it was true. The view of it under her thumb was pretty much exact compared to before when it was a pinprick. The smile faded when that point began to diverge into an oval. Then it slowly became a line. Chifuyu's heart sank as she realized what was going on. A meteorite was going to fall near her.

The first instinct Chifuyu had was to run and seek shelter. Sheer absurdity and disbelief of the situation rooted her to the place as she wondered how bad her luck had to be to get caught in a meteor crash. Light swallowed her up as the star crashed. A silent explosion that reverberated through the air without a sound. Everything was bathed in blue and white light, marred only by the black of shadows.

Chifuyu awoke with a start. Her breathing hitched as she surveyed her surroundings. She was lying on the street, unaware of how much time had passed nor how she'd even lost consciousness in the first place. Her body felt oddly light, as if the night of drinking and puking had never happened. But that night was real, it is real. She could still see the small puddle of her own make in the dark half a block away, sizzling its acids like radioactive ooze. It didn't seem any drier indicating the short passage of time.

Tracing back her haze of memories, Chifuyu tried to determine why she was on the ground. She sat up and saw white as blood rushed quickly into her head. White... yes! White! The last thing she remembered was everything going white. The star--meteorite! She looked towards the direction she saw it last. She didn't exactly where it was but she had an inkling of the area. This place was near the district she lived in. it would probably take her a few minutes to get around there.

She got on her feet and ran swiftly, her clicking heels seemingly no impediment to her urgency.

Eratas123 · 2012-11-06, 23:30

@ Senpai - Going to make a draft later. Should I use Tatenashi or Karon? Their personalities are alike.

@ Demi - Okay, she's going kinda overboard. Hopefully she pnly acts like that while drunk.

demino_hellsin · 2012-11-07, 05:22

Hmm... too soft?

Eratas123 · 2012-11-07, 05:48

Too sad more like.

demino_hellsin · 2012-11-07, 06:09

It'll be happening a lot sadly. Since most of the scenes that involve Chifuyu have her either drunk or depressed out of her mind. Though it will be balanced with strict Chifuyu

Eratas123 · 2012-11-07, 07:31

Why so depressing?

2012-11-06, 08:08	Link #38022
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	@ Senpai - I was planning to change Irish's fighting style to require less flip and add more on quickness and brutality. So far Dual wielding knives and a larger weapon seem to be best. __________________

2012-11-06, 08:12	Link #38023
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	Once again, one knife is better. First thing first, you use the other hand freely. Example, grab someone, stab the jugular, shove aside, stab the second guy in the stomach etc. Source: real boot camp in the nearby base Of course, there's always rule of cool to consider. __________________

2012-11-06, 08:16	Link #38024
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	Yeah, rule of cool's in effect here Example: He uses a machete and stabs the person through the mouth, pushes the hilt to the left so hard that the head spins 360, then grabs the Machete again. __________________

2012-11-06, 08:17	Link #38025
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	Lolwut Just like Ichika in the dark AU err... where is that draft again? I forgot where to put it __________________

2012-11-06, 08:23	Link #38026
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	As I said, I planned to make him more of an Anti-hero rather than "Good guy who happens to be on the wrong side". That means less likeable traits, more pragmatic fighting style, and decidedly unheroic actions. __________________

2012-11-06, 08:06	Link #38021
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	Hmmm... odd title. Tell me what you think. "Her Star and His Sky"

2012-11-06, 08:39	Link #38027
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	Well, AU!Ichika is less unheroic and more like Knight Templar. He found a hacker that tinkering with military training operation for a kick, causing many injured and at least one death, well... Ichika put him in an outdated mech in the next combat deployment separated from everyone else, cue slaughter by the aliens. "Where is your reset button?" indeed. __________________

2012-11-06, 08:47	Link #38028
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	Is 1 week too fast to roll out a mass production series of the fake IS in limited production?

2012-11-06, 08:51	Link #38029
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	Depends If you put a country's worth of industrial facilities, that might be possible. I use Gundam as parameter, BTW. __________________

2012-11-06, 08:53	Link #38030
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	Does Phantom Task's resources count for a country's?

2012-11-06, 08:57	Link #38031
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	Seems to imply a couple of third world country, so maybe yes. In mine though, their output is barely reach ten per month. This is because logistic track has to be kept at bare minimum, even though PT is larger than canon. ad to the fact that their supporters are mostly poor, dissatisfied corporation and countries. This changes after forced takeover though. __________________

2012-11-06, 09:00	Link #38032
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	Guess I'll have to do some tweaking. Thanks zero. I'ma sign out early today.

2012-11-06, 09:19	Link #38033
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	Need to make the next chapter for Synchronicity. Going to sleep now. __________________

2012-11-06, 12:15	Link #38034
agetreme Just another Idiot Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Delusion world	I don't think I have show much of Watt's personality in the first chapter... which means I don't need to rewrite the entire thing. Just a few modification and show his crazy side by through his interaction with others. __________________ Ara Han

2012-11-06, 21:11	Link #38035
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	Spoiler for part 2 of Chifuyu's opening statement: The late night was eating away at her vision. The pounding in her head slowly developing into nausea as she stopped by a section of fence to lean on. Another session of emptying her stomach threatened to happen when she tasted bitter bile rising up her throat. She held it in and tilted her head up. She closed her eyes hoping the vile mixture would go down. Once the danger of embarrassing herself further subsided, the woman opened her eyes and saw a dark night sky. There were no stars, just the moon. She laughed to herself. For some reason this vast darkness echoed with something inside of her. A starless night, one that swallowed everything and covered it in nothingness. Reminiscing her youth, other girls would wish on stars whenever they fell from the sky. She had always thought it foolish. She stopped believing in such things the moment when she learned she had to grow up. No one could save her, the only one who could save anyone was herself. But even as these thoughts filled her, she couldn't help whispering words of hope. “Someone, please save me.” She felt like an idiot when she realized what she'd done. Twenty and three, still wishing on stars. All the worse as there were no stars to wish on. Chifuyu sighed and determined to continue her floundering walk home. A flicker of light called back the depressed woman's attention. Her peripheral vision just catching that thread of white carving down the black canvas sky. Hysterical laughter slowly bubbled up in Chifuyu. It was all too surreal and maybe even absurd. It almost seemed like the skies were giving her a sign. She settled down soon enough and enjoyed the rest of the dim light show. Her heart lifting with every star that fell. It was over in a minute, one that felt like forever in the darkness. Chifuyu waited in case there were more but there seemed to be none left, except for one. She'd noticed it before. It was a bright point of light. While all the others fell, it just seemed to grow brighter and brighter as seconds ticked by. She thought it odd but didn't mind it much in favor of the others. But now it was over, it called all of her attention to it. “What a weird star. Almost reminds me of the North Star.”, Chifuyu pushed herself off the fence, feeling a hundred times better. It wasn't that farfetched to say so. It was probably big enough to cover with her thumb now. Chifuyu tested that theory and smiled when it was true. The view of it under her thumb was pretty much exact compared to before when it was a pinprick. The smile faded when that point began to diverge into an oval. Then it slowly became a line. Chifuyu's heart sank as she realized what was going on. A meteorite was going to fall near her. The first instinct Chifuyu had was to run and seek shelter. Sheer absurdity and disbelief of the situation rooted her to the place as she wondered how bad her luck had to be to get caught in a meteor crash. Light swallowed her up as the star crashed. A silent explosion that reverberated through the air without a sound. Everything was bathed in blue and white light, marred only by the black of shadows. Chifuyu awoke with a start. Her breathing hitched as she surveyed her surroundings. She was lying on the street, unaware of how much time had passed nor how she'd even lost consciousness in the first place. Her body felt oddly light, as if the night of drinking and puking had never happened. But that night was real, it is real. She could still see the small puddle of her own make in the dark half a block away, sizzling its acids like radioactive ooze. It didn't seem any drier indicating the short passage of time. Tracing back her haze of memories, Chifuyu tried to determine why she was on the ground. She sat up and saw white as blood rushed quickly into her head. White... yes! White! The last thing she remembered was everything going white. The star--meteorite! She looked towards the direction she saw it last. She didn't exactly where it was but she had an inkling of the area. This place was near the district she lived in. it would probably take her a few minutes to get around there. She got on her feet and ran swiftly, her clicking heels seemingly no impediment to her urgency.

2012-11-06, 23:30	Link #38036
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	@ Senpai - Going to make a draft later. Should I use Tatenashi or Karon? Their personalities are alike. @ Demi - Okay, she's going kinda overboard. Hopefully she pnly acts like that while drunk. __________________

2012-11-07, 05:22	Link #38037
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	Hmm... too soft?

2012-11-07, 05:48	Link #38038
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	Too sad more like. __________________

2012-11-07, 06:09	Link #38039
demino_hellsin That one guy Join Date: Nov 2011	It'll be happening a lot sadly. Since most of the scenes that involve Chifuyu have her either drunk or depressed out of her mind. Though it will be balanced with strict Chifuyu

2012-11-07, 07:31	Link #38040
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	Why so depressing? __________________