2009-10-14, 23:02 | Link #1882 | |
It's the year 3030...
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Spaceport Colony Sicilia
Age: 39
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2009-10-15, 01:52 | Link #1883 | |
Protecting the Throne
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Asia Tour
Age: 32
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It definitely isn't over yet stubby I'd say you still have chances of winning her heart. But she's probably the kind of girl that you have to spend time with. You have to nurture your relationship with her. You have to be patient and take things one step at a time. So you confessed already and she kinda turned you down. Is all hope lost? No As for the texting thing I'd say she was just really really busy. Numerous circumstances can just pop up and make someone so busy they can't even sip a cup of coffee for 1 minute You also mentioned she had problems. Your text message was fine stubby. Nothing wrong with it. It didn't come on too strong at all I don't really know her real personality but generally speaking, this kind of girl, in my opinion is someone worth going for. She probably has a good grasp on her priorities. My advice is just to to continue talking with her and nurturing your relationship. You seem like a pretty nice guy anyways stubby. Be careful not to do anything overboard too though. You don't wanna annoy her. Good luck!! and keep us updated in case you recognize any changes
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2009-10-15, 12:04 | Link #1884 | ||
Love Yourself
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 38
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Just figure they're busy, and wait a bit... if a week or so passes and you really want, you could try another message. But you don't want to come off as fretting about it and overthinking it. Quote:
Of course, not all people do that. Some people seem to date for fun. I'd imagine that those sorts of relationships go in a manner similar to how I described, with the key difference being that if the relationship doesn't seem like something they'd want for life, they'll still stick with it unless it's really, really bad. Why? I don't know - maybe because it's something. To me it's a waste of time, as that's time you could spend meeting with and getting to know other potential mates for life, but that's the difference in mentality I suppose. Neither is better than the other. Still, as I see it (from my limited vantage point and biased opinions) unless you're looking for a plaything or extremely short-term relationship, you'd be better off taking time for yourself. You may intend for it to just be a light relationship, but yours aren't the only desires that would be involved, nor can you predict or control what you might feel down the road. It's not certain disaster if you don't give yourself that time, of course. Good luck either way, and I hope that it all works out for you whichever decision you make. Stories, stories! We want to hear stories!
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2009-10-15, 18:24 | Link #1885 | |||
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: UK/Canada
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Thanks man, to be honest I've kind of decided not to worry about it, like I said before I live 4 and a half hours away, theres no point worrying about it when shes made her position clear and the amount of times I'll actually see her will be sporadic at best. Quote:
But yeah I'll keep you guys updated if anything happens. Quote:
Anyway thanks everyone, theres nothing I can do without being needy and I dont want to be that guy so if she wants to be friends we'll be friends if not then thats fine too. |
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2009-10-15, 18:26 | Link #1886 |
Dietrich fan #681675
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Stopped by her place to chill before she had to go to her class...I ask about the flowers on the kitchen counter and they turned out to be from someone else she was seeing...
So rather than deceive me, she told me the truth...I was okay with it.
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2009-10-15, 21:43 | Link #1887 |
Love Conquers All!
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: The Suzumiya Haruhi Section of AnimeSuki, (I placed my main Otaku HQ box there)
Age: 29
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I'm waiting for the right person.
I would want to be with someone who shares my interests (Anime or video games, preferably anime) and gives loads and loads of hugs. And someone who is nice. Looks dun matter. But I have been kissed before ^ _ ^
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2009-10-15, 22:33 | Link #1889 |
Dietrich fan #681675
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And another piece of advice...that first girl you will meet will most likely not be the one.
To be specific...if things were not to work out...it is not the end of the world. You'll meet many, many people in your lifetime and each subsequent girl you meet will be better than the last. It's a big world...don't think there is only one other girl literally.
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Last edited by whitepearl; 2009-10-15 at 22:37. Reason: So I can sound less callous lol |
2009-10-15, 22:47 | Link #1890 | |
Love Conquers All!
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: The Suzumiya Haruhi Section of AnimeSuki, (I placed my main Otaku HQ box there)
Age: 29
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I just said, I'm waiting for someone who has similar interests to me and stuff.
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2009-10-16, 04:23 | Link #1891 | |
Frandle & Nightbag
Join Date: Oct 2009
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Settling in the love department never did anyone any good.
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2009-10-16, 07:39 | Link #1892 | |
Honyaku no Hime
Fansubber
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the eastern capital of the islands of the rising suns...
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6 pages in 6 days with some pretty heavy stuff, sorry i've not been able to keep on top of this (or even the other threads I mingle around in GC tbh), I see Ledgem and a few others have all been equally dispensing some pretty danm good advice out there, so since everyone is tossing their 2 pence around, seems I can lurk and try to continue from the last page at present. (aaaanyone wanna write me a 'summary' of each person's current issue and their progress?) On Splitpersonality's note, your issue was the girl who wanted to experiment and we had a few peeps in here more or less tell you to tell her 'gtfo'? xD - Seems you've 'parted' on a mutual note, congrats for being an adult bout it and keeping it civil
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2009-10-16, 08:31 | Link #1893 | |
Love Yourself
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 38
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Hobbies and interests can and will change over time. My fiancee was never into anime, but we've now watched quite a few series together. She isn't a raging anime fan, though. Actually I wouldn't even classify her as an anime fan, she just enjoys watching some of them. To be honest, these days I guess people wouldn't classify me as an anime fan, either. Ah, I remember back when I was 15 or so, I used to watch every single series that was listed on AnimeSuki and managed to keep up with all of them. These days I'm lucky if I can stick with even one... change of interests, change of lifestyle. The big reason I'm replying was just to say that looks do matter. You have the right idea that they're not the most important thing to look for, but don't tell yourself that they don't matter at all. It isn't shallow to say that. You want to be with someone who is attractive to you. You want to be proud of them in all aspects, you want to feel good walking next to them and bringing them out to social functions, and you want to be able to look over at them and think to yourself "wow, she (or he) is so beautiful/handsome, what an amazing person, I'm so lucky." It matters. If your sole connection is based on hobby then you might as well just be good friends and nothing more, and once hobbies change then the relationship might be in jeopardy. I'll just clarify (partly to keep Narona at bay ) that the beauty aspect should be based on your opinion. If the whole school (or the whole office, for you adults) feels that one girl/guy is the absolute best-looking human on the face of the planet, that shouldn't have anything to do with your desire for him/her. If you find him/her attractive (or unattractive) that is all that needs to be considered. How much does it matter overall? I'd subjectively rank it third, with similar life values being #1 and similar relationship goals being #2. A girl doesn't have to be into anime and videogames for you to get along great with her and find other, potentially new shared interests.
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2009-10-16, 09:23 | Link #1894 | |
Counting days
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Not even close to the Caribbean anymore
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On another note, when I was an undergraduate, I went out a few times with a guy who was about 8 years older than I. The age gap didn't matter to me, but sometimes I wonder if I was too shallow because I never wanted to really date him because he had some fake teeth he would remove whenever we were going to eat, making me cringe. In that sense, sometimes it's not just the looks, but other things too that can affect, unless one is able to overlook them somehow. |
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2009-10-16, 09:42 | Link #1895 |
I don't give a damn, dude
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In Despair
Age: 37
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@Mystique,
LOL, a summary of what I've been up to will still take a looooooong while...... That said, update on my situation: We're heading into the crunch time period of the term. She's starting to get real busy, and I'm facing the prospect of having a bunch of stuff to do myself. Things look like they're gonna be this way for the next couple or three weeks, and this is the first week in recent memory that we haven't been able to go on a date, although that's mostly because we just haven't been able to meet in campus. Considering the work we're having to deal with at this stage, I'd say it's for the better anyway; so the question I have is actually fairly minor. How do I strike a balance between not jeopardizing her grades and mine as well, and not letting what we have cool down from neglect? Otherwise, everything is going good; we're still talking quite a bit despite the schoolwork, and we're going to see the MJ movie on the 30th (....what? She liked MJ. ), so there's no real trouble brewing actually. I just need to figure out how to strike that balance between now and until then; heck, I'll probably need to do that again when it comes time for the exam period. So yeah, to reiterate, how do I do that? Is finding opportunities to snuggle her for brief periods sufficient? Or anything else I can consider trying? *pokes Ledgem* |
2009-10-16, 09:55 | Link #1896 |
カカシ
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Looks can say an aweful lot about lifestyle, it's not a completely superficial aspect of dating. You want to date someone who looks healthy and vibrant, not a zombie who's clearly been up all night for several nights in a row, or who's been eating junk. Again, it reflects their chosen lifestyle, and when a person puts in effort to do all the right things (like GO to the dentist), they want...or expect a similar level of mindfulness from a partner. It ties in to life values in a way.
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2009-10-16, 15:25 | Link #1897 |
It's the year 3030...
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Spaceport Colony Sicilia
Age: 39
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@Ascaloth:
You're still talking quite a bit, it seems, which is a good thing. That, in itself, may be enough to keep what you have going strong, without jeopardizing each others grades. By the same token (forgive me for being unable to recall if we've moved past this bit), this may be a good opportunity to give her the time to sort out her feelings without the whole physical aspect of the relationship have an affect on her decision. You could always suggest a specific day and time where the two of you decide to meet up for a short period; a coffee or something of that nature. I'm sure the opportunity to get away from your studies, if only for a brief time, would be of benefit to both of you, so that your brains don't burn out from staring at text books and classroom material for umpteen consecutive hours.
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2009-10-16, 16:26 | Link #1898 | |
Love Conquers All!
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: The Suzumiya Haruhi Section of AnimeSuki, (I placed my main Otaku HQ box there)
Age: 29
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I would still rather be with someone with similar interests then a good looking girl. I dun wanna think of the girl I'm with as a prize, I want to think of her as someone I can enjoy sharing my hobbies with. I'm not lowing my standeds, no no no, I just dun actually care much about looks. Otaku's and gamers Pwn looks, (IMO) And besides, I'm still young, sooo, I can't really think of what else I would be getting into besides playing video games and watching anime and going to movies ^ _ ^ (And hugs and kisses) Anyway, and as for social fluctu-something, I've never been extremely social with many people ^ _ ^ (More then 4 people makes me feel crowded) And I've never liked partys, and never put tooo many efforts to act the same as the group. Lolz. So how I look socially dun matter to me, I just be a nice person and see where it takes me.
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Last edited by Otaku Emperor; 2009-10-16 at 16:47. |
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2009-10-16, 17:39 | Link #1899 | |||
Emotionless White Face
Join Date: Feb 2008
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Actually I entirely approve what you said (that happens quite a lot lately ). Quote:
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I'll be honest, I dislike bitter people. I don't know if it's your case, but I heard so many bitter people saying things like that, that I feel like posting about it. I apologize in advance if you're not part of those people. I dislike the ones who failed something (whatever the goal) and so hang around spreading the words that the other people will most likely fail too (actually, from my pov, that should not stop them to actually cheer for those who have still the chance to achieve what they failed to achieve, instead of already syaing to them that "it is ok to fail"). I hope I will not bring misfortune on Ledgem's couple (I sincerely wish you and your GF a lot of happiness, Ledgem.), but so far, and to give an example of people we know a bit here on AS (so I hope i'll not be neg repped this time by Mister/Miss I hate Narona's examples) it seems that his soon-to-become wife did wait a bit for the right guy, and actually met him. I'll not say that such things happens often, but for those who seek such goal (so not everyone obviously), I think it's good to say to them that it can definitely happen, and I think that's not something "bad" to not experience failed relationships (again I hope i'll not bring misfortune on your couple, Ledgem >.< ). I don't see the point of crushing people hopes. So, my opinion is, and I believe that it's true for a lot of goals you could have (well, I talk about realistic goals, like not expecting to be the first RL Sayajin)), till everything is not over, continue to fight. Don't start doing something while thinking that "it will probably fail so let's alreday start comforting myself that it will be ok to fail", that will only slow you, and put even more obstacles on your way. Instead, do your best, abd work harder than hard. This way, imo, you'll give yourself more chances of success, and you'll have no, or at least less regrets if it fails. |
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2009-10-16, 18:12 | Link #1900 | |
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: UK/Canada
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Now thats not to say your going after super models because your probably not but in a very, very rapid amount of time you've decided if another person is attractive or not based purely on apperence. Of course theres a distinct possibility that personality wise or life stylewise they might not be a match but thats why you talk to a person and fliter with them, both of you are trying to decide if each other is a good match. Like it or not there have been extensive studies into sexual attraction, its a pretty interesting subject, I just skim read this article and its probably worth checking out. sexual attraction |
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Tags |
advice, break-ups, dating, dating after divorce, divorce, happiness, love, pairings, single dad, single mom |
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