Dating

[Mystique]

Originally Posted by Narona

You're forgetting the other possibilities. A girl of 16 who becomes the girlfriend of a guy who is 20 doesn't mean she will instantly becomes a housewife and will abandon everything else.
When I read you, it's like it's impossible. It feels like reading a sad person who only see the bad sides (sorry). In my case, i prefer to be optimistic and see that in some cases it ends up really well.

That's the side I present to this debate, so no need to apologise. I am playing the side no one typically wants to hear, just cause that's the way i've grown up lately and those closest to me (friends wise) relate in the same way.
We're all out there trying our hardest, striving, struggling, hoping for the best, but we make sure to ground each other too. Just be aware of the good and bad and the worst cases.
- I didn't state the good cause that's obvious.
It's obvious that life isn't dealt in absolutes; it's obvious that when 60-70% of a situation is bad, 30-40% is good. It's obvious that there are typically two sides to it.
It's obvious, Amray's gonna try to make this work through his troubles, however I don't agree when he said 'age doesn't matter' - during the teens I believe it does, and thus I gave an example of a situation when relationships last long from an early age, (I assume first loves too) and the other external factors that usually add grief to a couple with that age difference.
My example is only just that: an example.
To list all the possibilities would flood the forums, so there's no need for me to say the others, i just use words such as 'typically', 'in most cases' 'commonly', 'can', 'perhaps' - they're not absolutes.

And again, don't look down at the girls who make the choice to become housewife whatever their age. It's not simple and in my opinion, a girl who make a career choice or other things like that is not better and can end up less happy. Wanting to be a housewife and/or a mother at home is also an Ambition (It feel like that you didn't read my last post)

*laughs* Because i said the same thing myself:
'being a housewife is an ambition'
Usually a full time one at that, especially once kids come into play too.
But it feels you're so caught up with your defence when i'm not even attacking here, that anything i say in relation to my claim is gonna get a retaliation, so at this point, i won't add anything further to Amray's situation or regarding young girls getting together with older guys.
I like dancing, but we've danced this dance before and circles are no fun.

@Samari

What worries me in your theory is that I wonder if You protected yourself. Because if she is not on the pills, she can get pregnant. And if she didn't remember how it happened, it's even worse...

Making out = American slang for a couple kissing and groping only. No masturbation, oral, or intercourse.
(unless this definition got updated in the last 10 years, someone tell me) >.>

[Narona]

Originally Posted by Mystique

Making out = American slang for a couple kissing and groping only. No masturbation, oral, or intercourse.
(unless this definition got updated in the last 10 years, someone tell me) >.>

Thanks for the infos, I wasn't sure

And so I wonder why he is so worried

[Waking_Dreamer]

Originally Posted by Narona

Thanks for the infos, I wasn't sure

And so I wonder why he is so worried

I guess hes just a really nice guy....

[Narona]

Originally Posted by Waking_Dreamer

I guess hes just a really nice guy....

Yes he is!

Sorry if what I said can be seen as mean. That wasn't my intention. I am pleasantly surprised. I don't know a lot of guys here who will be so worried for that, in most cases, they are worried only when they actually "did" it.

[Eczema]

What is everyone's opinion on work place relations? At my casual job, I do customer service/retail, and there's a cafe integrated into our building, and I'm interested in the waitress there. I'm not sure if it's appropriate to just drop by and have a chat, especially if I'm not buying anything. Any comments?

[othera]

^ Well i don't think there is anything wrong with it, personaly i would only go there if i was buying something also.

Work place relationships seem to normaly work out fine.

[Mystique]

In bigger multinational organisations, some companies actually embed it as part of your contract, 'no relationships with another staff member' on the chance if it turns sour, it could jeopardise your work or motivation or make the atmosphere downright hostile.
- In more relaxed workplaces like the libraries (in my case) parents and kids, boyfriends and girlfriends have been known to work in the same branches or other ones, but relations of some sort are around.

For a casual job such as yours, I’d say it's fine to go for a chat/ get a date. Just be aware that she's near ya if anything were to go wrong.
If in doubt, you may wanna consult a higher staff member for advice

[Xvoki]

@Exzema

I would feel odd about just going in and talking to her without buying something first. Hope the coffee tastes nice. ^_^

[Amray]

Originally Posted by Kakashi

If my girlfriend knew I watched anime in my spare time, she would dump me. In a way I look down on her for not dumping me already.

If that is the case then I would recommend that you end the relationship. If this girl really would seperate herself from you just because you watch Japanese animated programmes then that is, no offense, but quite pathetic. If she would actually do this then she obviously does not love you in the way that she should.

If I were you I would much rather be single for a period of time until I find a girl that would accept me for who I am and respect me and my interests. If I was in a relationship with a girl that is likely to leave me because I like anime, then I would leave them first because I would think them foolish and petty.

[Falcon1991]

Originally Posted by Amray

If I were you I would much rather be single for a period of time until I find a girl that would accept me for who I am and respect me and my interests. If I was in a relationship with a girl that is likely to leave me because I like anime, then I would leave them first because I would think them foolish and petty.

I really agree. I find that sometimes there may be cases when you may find a girl pretty, and they find you pretty. But then when you find their interests, you are no longer interested.

So I'd much rather have a girl that I love due to her interests, rather than her looks. Personally.

[Eggs in a Bottle]

I've have a natural radar that beeps every time I see girl that may have similar interests with me.

When I'm talking to a gorgeus girl and the beeper does not beep, I do not worry about my appearance at all, since I have no sexual interest of the girl.

It's kind of weird, yea.

[Mystique]

Originally Posted by Amray

If that is the case then I would recommend that you end the relationship. If this girl really would seperate herself from you just because you watch Japanese animated programmes then that is, no offense, but quite pathetic. If she would actually do this then she obviously does not love you in the way that she should.

If I were you I would much rather be single for a period of time until I find a girl that would accept me for who I am and respect me and my interests. If I was in a relationship with a girl that is likely to leave me because I like anime, then I would leave them first because I would think them foolish and petty.

xD
And so kakashi learns not to make a joke in a thread were people are giving genuine advice and taking each post seriously
- I think Ledgem was the only one who caught onto that tbh...

Originally Posted by Kakashi

That was just a joke. I made her watch an episode of Death Note so she didn't question my maturity, while saving Naruto for another time.

[Amray]

Originally Posted by Mystique

xD
And so kakashi learns not to make a joke in a thread were people are giving genuine advice and taking each post seriously

Well when one states a joke in the middle of a discussion that people are taking seriously it is expected that some people are to have such reactions. Kakashi should also learn that there is a time and a place for jokes.

Anyway it does not matter, that can just be counted as some advise from me just in case somebody is actually going through with a relationship similar to that. I doubt that it has never happened. Some people do have relationships with people that would threaten to leave them for stupid reasons. That is not a sign of love at all, so my advise would be to leave them.

[othera]

Originally Posted by Amray

Kakashi should also learn that there is a time and a place for jokes.

Anyway it does not matter, that can just be counted as some advise from me just in case somebody is actually going through with a relationship similar to that. I doubt that it has never happened. Some people do have relationships with people that would threaten to leave them for stupid reasons. That is not a sign of love at all, so my advise would be to leave them.

I agree, i would HATE to be in a relationship like that, one of my friends is and i just don't understand why 0.o

And yeah kakashi.. there is a time and place for everything

[Xvoki]

Relationships can be a pain in the ass. XD

[Amray]

Originally Posted by othera

I agree, i would HATE to be in a relationship like that, one of my friends is and i just don't understand why 0.o

Act upon my lovely advise and try persuading him that a relationship like that will not work out.

Originally Posted by Xvoki

Relationships can be a pain in the ass. XD

Put simply, yes. It varies though. People that are actually involved in an easy and happy, love-filled relationship are simply very lucky.

[Zoned87]

Relationships are a waste of time, and 9 out of 10 times they end in disaster.

The time is better spent trying to improve your own life and living situation.

[BOOKGLUTTON]

Originally Posted by Eczema

What is everyone's opinion on work place relations? At my casual job, I do customer service/retail, and there's a cafe integrated into our building, and I'm interested in the waitress there. I'm not sure if it's appropriate to just drop by and have a chat, especially if I'm not buying anything. Any comments?

You're gonna need to do something that will make you seem different than the average customer who hits on a waitress. I suggest coming in late or close to closing and ask her to join you for coffee, or maybe offering her to a nice meal at a restaurant? Stay away from movie theaters and such because it basically screams "I'm going to fondle you". Hope it all works out.

edit: only if you choose the wrong person pal. ^

[Mystique]

Originally Posted by Zoned87

Relationships are a waste of time, and 9 out of 10 times they end in disaster.

The time is better spent trying to improve your own life and living situation.

On the initial basis yes, a lot of people chase the desire to be with someone and can't stand being alone rather than simply enjoying their own company and hobbies and lives first.
But 9/10 seems to be extreme no? lol
Rather think of what the relationship brought to each person's life rather than the outcome.
They're a lot of hard work, that's what pple don't realise.
After the initial rush of lust, excitement and giddiness, when years start settling in (this is based if you're livin with someone or see them almost everyday)
- Then it's for both peeps to make the extra effort to communicate, to keep things interesting, to discuss and support.
Perhaps more often than not, some element doesn't happen and thus people split or drift apart, who knows.
But you gotta try
You go into a relationship with faith that'll it work, (not just with relationships, but anything in life tbh)
Else what would be the point of living?

[Samari]

Originally Posted by Mystique

@ Samari - oooooooh, it's one of those huh
She's somewhat heartbroken and intoxicated and you guys end up making out.
That usually counts for nada in my book, but it isn't so much what happened as much as 'what's gonna happen now?'
- What is her personality like when sober? Is she generally a serious and mature student? What kind of crowd does she hang with? Does she seem shy by nature or generally out going?
I cannot speak for her or what she may be feeling (if she remembers), but most girls kinda regret that action too.
"Oh gosh, I kissed some random guy last night, I can't bear to face him. What if he thinks more of it? Was he just a rebound? What if he thinks I'm easy?"
Etc etc.

As for 'pathetic' - don't beat yourself up so much. You already are contemplating your actions and thinking of a suitable resolution, have assessed the situation at hand - that's a lot of mature points right there of which girls actually appreciate.
You're human, you make mistakes - the difference is whether you're a person who takes responsibility for them and you seem to be a guy who does.

Anyways, good luck future wise, hope things work out between you and her so it's not to awkward anymore.

She seems like quite a nice girl that isn't too wild or anything, but not that sheltered. Like a normal, casual, friendly girl when she's sober. I don't know her that well because I only met her several times. But she's really cute, and even before the party I was attracted to her to a decent degree. Like I said, I just didn't really capitalize on it that much because we go to different schools and I'm quite busy with other things going on in my life. Obviously I want to get to know the "genuine" version of this girl.

Originally Posted by Waking_Dreamer

@ Samari

Interesting story...I agree with Mystique its not too bad a situation.

As a guy I admit that would be a very tempting situation and if it is the first time you find yourself in that scenario, heck i would have done exactly the same thing. Actually, from what ive seen when girls are at that level of drunkness, yea they can act totally out of character...and the next day they have absolutely no recollection of the night before (or at least thats what they say...maybe they say that just to avoid awkwardness...hmm...) so i think your in the clear.

It would be interesting to see her reaction if you went up to her and said hi. She probably doesn't remember though.

Btw: was she a good kisser? ...just kidding never mind...

Meh, I'll probably say hi if I see her. But like I said, I won't bring up the incident. If she wants to talk about it then I guess we can.

Originally Posted by Narona

Yes he is!

Sorry if what I said can be seen as mean. That wasn't my intention. I am pleasantly surprised. I don't know a lot of guys here who will be so worried for that, in most cases, they are worried only when they actually "did" it.

No we didn't go the full distance. I don't I would have let that happen. As far as the actual incident goes, yeah I guess you can just consider me too "nice" of a guy.