Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[Evangelion Xgouki]

Well, seems like some people in the OC thread want me to post this here, so...


A Day at the Amusement Park, a GenerationS side story

Spoiler for A Day at the Amusement Park:

In the nearly clear, blue sky above the sun shined its warming rays as it passed its apex. The rays of warmth heated the surrounding air of the city below bursting with activity. Men and women milled around inside and out going about their daily business. Some sought out the refuge of the tall, air conditioned buildings. Others took advantage of the warm weather and spent the day out to take in some fresh air. The local amusement park was especially busy with the pleasant weather. Groups of friends gathered and milled about. Families of all sizes and relations wandered the park led on by smiling, eager children. There were also some mixes of the two groups enjoying a day at the park.

“Waaa~!”

One Vivio Takamachi took in the amazing sights around her with a mix of curiosity and wonder. Her mismatched eyes darted from ride of ride, from display to display as she almost skipped in joy on one of the many concrete paths. If she was able to have her own way, she would be running about from attraction to attraction. However her escorts on either side of her for the day preferred a more casual pace at the moment.

“Vivio, what would you like to ride first?” asked the young lady holding onto her hand on her left.

“Everything!” replied the young girl with a bright smile.

The young man on her right chuckled at her enthusiasm.

“Well, I don’t think we can ride them all at once, Vivio.”

That caused Vivio to pause her current train of thought and ponder for a moment. She placed a finger from her free hand on her chin as her eyes wandered upwards in what appeared to be deep thought. A short moment passed before she excitedly pointed at the Merry-Go-Round.

“That one Nanoha-mama!”

“Alright. Let’s go!” exclaimed Nanoha Takamachi, the famed Ace of Aces (as well as infamous White Devil) of the TSAB, as she smiled down at her adopted daughter.

The heterochromatic girl giggled in excitement as she sprinted towards the selected ride, dragging her mother along side her hand in hand. From the rear, head librarian of the TSAB Infinity Library Yuuno Scrya couldn’t hold back the wide smile as he watched the two run off.

“Yuuno-kun~! Hurry up!” called back Nanoha as she tried to keep up with her daughter.

“Coming,” he called back, breaking into a jog to catch up to the pair.

With the large crowds that day, the majority of the rides were fairly busy. Lines at the more popular attractions had several hour waits as people continued to pile into the robed-off areas. The Merry-Go-Round was no exception as the pair stood in line. Nanoha glanced around her to find her friend sitting down on one of the nearby benches positioned around the ride area.

“Eh? What are you doing over there, Yuuno-kun?”

The blonde-haired young man lifted the camera that was resting around his neck and gestured to it, “You two go on. It’d be harder to get good pictures if I was right next to you.”

“Mou…are you sure?” remarked the brunette with a slight frown.

“I’m sure, Nanoha,” he replied with a laugh, “Besides, the signs say they only allow one adult to be standing per child and she is your daughter.”

“Oh, fine. You had better get some good pictures then, you silly ferret.”

“I will, I promise.”

A tug on her arm brought Nanoha’s attention to the girl besides her as she knelt down to answer some question she had. From the bench, Yuuno leaned back and watched the mother-daughter pair with a smile. He had known the famous mage for over a decade now. In a way, all of this was his fault.

‘No that wasn’t right,’ he corrected himself, ‘I was the catalyst that started a journey and an adventure.’

The line moved at a fairly quick pace due to the large capacity of the Merry-Go-Round and its rather short duration compared to most other rides. Based on his estimates, they would only have to wait another two sets of people before it would be their turn. He sets the camera down on his lap and allows his mind to wander while he waits.

‘Nanoha…a very close and dear friend to me that I’ve known since the beginning of, well, all of this. We’ve been through thick and thin together in those two Lost Logia incidents. It’s still rather odd how it all turned out back then,’ he chuckles, ‘To think that she would be the one to pick up where I failed and push forward to collect the remaining Jewel Seeds. And out of her own resolve to help me, too. At first I felt guilty for throwing all this on her shoulders, but when she scolded me and wanted to do it for herself to help…’

His eyes blink as he straightens up and scan over the line looking for where they were. They were now closer to the front, but still at least one set of people away. It looked like Vivio was asking her mother some questions to which Nanoha was happily replying if the bright smile on her face was any sign. The sight of mother and daughter smiling was too much as a smile crept up on Yuuno’s lips.

‘Yes, I think it was then that I began treating Nanoha more as a friend rather than a partner. Back then I was still young and naïve, but now I think about it that was probably when I started to fall for that girl whose smile and determination could surpass extraordinary odds.’

The large group of people exiting the ride brought him back to reality. Picking up the camera, he scans the circular ride for the pair. Even with the mass of people wandering looking for an open spot he manages to pick out the brunette and her rather unique off-centered ponytail on the outer ring of the ride. He watches as she helps Vivio up onto the ornate horse. The little girl smiles and giggles as she grips the pole running through the seat. Behind her Nanoha rests one hand protectively on her waist, just in case.

Yuuno hefts the camera up and peers through the viewfinder as the bell in the center rings announcing the start of the ride. The platform begins its slow rotation with music pouring from the numerous speakers in the ceiling. He centers and snaps a few shots of Vivio as she smiles even brighter with the horse slowly bobbing up and down. They pass out of view for a moment, allowing him to set the camera down to rest his arms before coming back around. This time he zooms out to get a few shots of the pair passing by smiling happily.

As he snaps the last photo for the rotation, Yuuno’s mind wanders a bit to the older woman in the photo. Having known her since she was nine, he’s had the opportunity to watch as she developed and matured over the years. From that little, energetic girl she had grown to be a stunning woman with an incredible track record with the TSAB, her career practically set for her.

‘Her figure had also filled out quite nicely, too. Not to mention how great she looks in that skirt…’
He quickly coughs, trying to clear that train of thought from his mind. It was well known throughout the TSAB of the three Aces from the Non-Administered world and their spectacular feats from the young age of nine with no prior knowledge of magic or formal training (with the exception of Fate). Over the past few years their stunning beauty and continuing single status also became fairly well known. Many men, from recruits to high-ranking officers, tried their hand at attempting to court one of the famed Aces only to be turned down. Some had compared the chances to dating one of them to taking them on one-on-one with no limiters and no attack restrictions. This comparison had also kept many from even trying in the first place, yet some still tried their luck now and then.

Setting the camera down on his lap, Yuuno recalls what Hayate had told him before they left for the park.

“Can we talk for a bit, Yuuno-kun?” Hayate spoke audibly, winking in Nanoha’s direction.

“Uh… Sure…” Yuuno glanced at Nanoha.

Nanoha paused in confusion, but then shrugged and said, “Alright. Don’t be late, Yuuno-kun~!” before running off after Vivio.

Hayate dragged him around a bit before settling behind a wall. She stood up straightly with her hands akimbo, a confident smile on her face.

Yuuno pushed up his glasses nervously, “What did you want to talk about, Hayate?”

“So you’ve finally made a first move, huh, Yuuno-kun?”

“But…” Yuuno sighed, “Like we said, it’s just a-Wha?!” he jolted as Hayate’s finger was pointed directly at his nose.

“Whatever it is, you must do your best so as not to disappoint Nanoha-chan,” Hayate warned him with one eye closed, her other hand rose to form an encouraging fist, “Okay?”

‘The first move, huh?’ he mentally sighs.

While the others had never said anything about it, Hayate had been the one to confront him about the ‘status’ between Nanoha and himself. As much as tried to deny any romantic interest in the girl, he knew that it was a lie and he was also lying to himself. He had given her a lot of space when she first started her TSAB career so she could find her calling. The atrocious lack of organization in the Infinity Library had also kept him quite busy at the same time. Now, however she’s an instructor for the new TSAB recruits and plans on remaining such as her refusals of promotions after the Cradle Incident have shown. Not to mention that she has a daughter to look after.

‘Perhaps now would be the best time to give into Hayate’s urgings…,’ he ponders.

The lack of music and rise in voices breaks his train of thought. He instinctively stands and looks around for the pair from the crowded ride’s exit. A slender hand waving above the sea of heads catches his eye. Moments later the trio is reunited by the bench with Vivio giggling happily between the two adults.

“Mama! Mama! Let’s go on another one!” she urges while tugging on Nanoha’s arm.

Nanoha nods, taking a moment to look around at the sea of people around the park.

“Alright. Which one do you want to ride?”

The young girl grins and takes off running down one of the paths. With her hand still locked with her daughters, Nanoha had no choice but to keep up behind the excited bundle of energy the best she could. Behind them Yuuno couldn’t help but laugh as he watched the ‘great’ Ace of Aces being dragged along by a little girl. It definitely was quite an unusual sight.

As the daylight slowly faded away, the trio would ride several more of the attractions, with Vivio promptly dragging them off to the next one with an excited look on her face. Now the sun was nearing the end of its journey across the sky for that day. A spectrum of reds and yellows replaced the lively blue sky. Many groups had already left the park for the day to either make their way home or find a place to eat. The slowly thinning crowds and dimming sky was not lost to the two adults.

“It’s starting to get late, Nanoha. We should probably start heading out soon before we get stuck in the rush out.”

The brunette nods in agreement, “That would be a good idea. Come on, Vivio. Let’s head home.”

Vivio, however, had other ideas.

“No! I don’t want to…,” she complained.

Both adults sighed softly, having realized that this was probably the reaction they would get from the girl. Nanoha knelt before Vivio and placed her hands on her shoulders.

“Vivio, it’s starting to get late. We can always come back another time. Plus Fate-mama is waiting at home for us.”

The little girl crossed her arms over her chest and pouted, puffing her cheeks out as she shook her head to stand by her original decision. As Nanoha tried to reason with her daughter, Yuuno couldn’t help but grin as she watched the little girl whose mannerisms reminded him so much of her mother.

“How about this Vivio,” he starts as he squats down next to Nanoha, “We’ll do one more ride. Any ride you want, okay?”

“Mou, Yuuno-kun. Are you sure?”

Before the librarian could respond, Vivio points her finger at a ride behind them.

“That one!”

Yuuno and Nanoha both rise and turn to look at what the girl was pointing at. Two pairs of eyes fell upon the large Ferris Wheel towering near the end of the park. With the sunlight slowly beginning to wane the giant wheel was lit up all over by bright lights, slowly spinning its passengers around in enclosed passenger pods. Finding herself unable to come up with any opposition to the proposed agreement, Nanoha straightens up and smiles.

“Alright. One more ride.”

Vivio lets out a cheer and grabs the adults’ hands as she excitedly makes her way to the ride. At the same time the pair wonders where she gets all this energy of hers from.

A short time later the trio finds themselves slowly rising from the ground in one of the silver pods. At one end of the pod Vivio kneels on the plastic seat with her hands pressed against the window. Green and red eyes gaze out over the brightly lit park rides and buildings slowly sinking as the wheel turns with curiosity and fascination. On the other end Nanoha and Yuuno sit next to each other and watch over the young girl.

‘Oh boy…I guess it’s now or never,’ he tells himself.

“Nanoha?”

The brunette turns her attention to the blonde boy, “Hm? What is it Yuuno-kun?”

“Erm…ah, Vivio has quite a family, huh?” he blurts out in nervousness.

“Yea, she does doesn’t she?” she says leaning back against the seat, “Fate-chan and I take care of her most of the time. Sometimes Hayate and her Knights watch her watch her when we’re busy with Bureau stuff. Now that I think about it, I think Vita-chan looks to her like an older sister although I doubt she’ll ever admit it.”

Nanoha giggles as she glances over at Vivio, “Maybe I should tell Vivio to start calling her ‘Nee-chan’ from now on.”

That got a chuckle from the young man, especially with the scene of the powerful Iron Knight blushing in embarrassment and stuttering denials floating around his mind.

“Yes, that would be interesting to see.”

“All the Forwards have some attachment to her before RF6 was disbanded. Even Chrono-kun can’t deny that he’s fond of Vivio with how he grins every time she calls him ‘Uncle Chrono.’”

“She does have that effect on people.”

Straightening himself up, Yuuno takes a deep breath to gather what courage he can.

“Ah, what would you say about me Nanoha?”

“Oh, you’ve also been a huge help. I feel kinda bad sometimes when I keep having to ask you to watch her,” she replies in a bit of embarrassment.

“Don’t worry about. I don’t mind at all, especially with all that’s been going on lately everyone’s been pretty busy. Although…”

“Although…?” she questions as she turns to look at him curiously.

He knew that there was no turning back now.

“I-I want to be there for you and Vivio, Nanoha. To be there when you need help,” he pauses as she stares back with her blue orbs waiting for him to continue, “What I mean to say is you, Vivio…would you…”

“Mama look!”

Both adults nearly fall out of their seat in surprise as Vivio jumps between them and points at the window she had come from. Nanoha is the first to recover from the slight scare.

“Look at what Vivio?”

As the young girl excitedly leads her mother over to the other window, Yuuno takes a moment to calm down. He leans back on the seat and watches Vivio excitedly point out different things outside to her smiling mother.

‘I guess now just wasn’t the right time, huh?’ he muses.

Although he was disappointed, he was also a bit glad that Vivio did what she did. He had known Nanoha for a long time and couldn’t deny that he liked her. There were probably others that could see it, but Hayate had always been the most open about encouraging him to ‘make his move’ as she would say.

Yet he was also worried about what would happen when he actually did ask her to go out with him. He knew what he felt, but he never could really tell how she felt towards him. She never really gave any signs of liking him, yet she also never gave any signs of not being against it either. If it meant ruining the friendship they had he didn’t want to risk it, but at the same time he won’t know until he tries.

“Mama, over there! So pretty~”

Yuuno smiles as he continues to watch the pair. There was no use to rush things. Sometimes it was better to just stand back and wait for the right moment. If it was meant to be he’ll wait for that moment. Until then he’ll be there for her as he was back then, watching her and protecting her in anyway he could.

I got 'volunteered' to write this up after they read GenerationS Chapter 1a

[Gillian]

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

Well, seems like some people in the OC thread want me to post this here, so...


A Day at the Amusement Park, a GenerationS side story

Spoiler for A Day at the Amusement Park:

In the nearly clear, blue sky above the sun shined its warming rays as it passed its apex. The rays of warmth heated the surrounding air of the city below bursting with activity. Men and women milled around inside and out going about their daily business. Some sought out the refuge of the tall, air conditioned buildings. Others took advantage of the warm weather and spent the day out to take in some fresh air. The local amusement park was especially busy with the pleasant weather. Groups of friends gathered and milled about. Families of all sizes and relations wandered the park led on by smiling, eager children. There were also some mixes of the two groups enjoying a day at the park.

“Waaa~!”

One Vivio Takamachi took in the amazing sights around her with a mix of curiosity and wonder. Her mismatched eyes darted from ride of ride, from display to display as she almost skipped in joy on one of the many concrete paths. If she was able to have her own way, she would be running about from attraction to attraction. However her escorts on either side of her for the day preferred a more casual pace at the moment.

“Vivio, what would you like to ride first?” asked the young lady holding onto her hand on her left.

“Everything!” replied the young girl with a bright smile.

The young man on her right chuckled at her enthusiasm.

“Well, I don’t think we can ride them all at once, Vivio.”

That caused Vivio to pause her current train of thought and ponder for a moment. She placed a finger from her free hand on her chin as her eyes wandered upwards in what appeared to be deep thought. A short moment passed before she excitedly pointed at the Merry-Go-Round.

“That one Nanoha-mama!”

“Alright. Let’s go!” exclaimed Nanoha Takamachi, the famed Ace of Aces (as well as infamous White Devil) of the TSAB, as she smiled down at her adopted daughter.

The heterochromatic girl giggled in excitement as she sprinted towards the selected ride, dragging her mother along side her hand in hand. From the rear, head librarian of the TSAB Infinity Library Yuuno Scrya couldn’t hold back the wide smile as he watched the two run off.

“Yuuno-kun~! Hurry up!” called back Nanoha as she tried to keep up with her daughter.

“Coming,” he called back, breaking into a jog to catch up to the pair.

With the large crowds that day, the majority of the rides were fairly busy. Lines at the more popular attractions had several hour waits as people continued to pile into the robed-off areas. The Merry-Go-Round was no exception as the pair stood in line. Nanoha glanced around her to find her friend sitting down on one of the nearby benches positioned around the ride area.

“Eh? What are you doing over there, Yuuno-kun?”

The blonde-haired young man lifted the camera that was resting around his neck and gestured to it, “You two go on. It’d be harder to get good pictures if I was right next to you.”

“Mou…are you sure?” remarked the brunette with a slight frown.

“I’m sure, Nanoha,” he replied with a laugh, “Besides, the signs say they only allow one adult to be standing per child and she is your daughter.”

“Oh, fine. You had better get some good pictures then, you silly ferret.”

“I will, I promise.”

A tug on her arm brought Nanoha’s attention to the girl besides her as she knelt down to answer some question she had. From the bench, Yuuno leaned back and watched the mother-daughter pair with a smile. He had known the famous mage for over a decade now. In a way, all of this was his fault.

‘No that wasn’t right,’ he corrected himself, ‘I was the catalyst that started a journey and an adventure.’

The line moved at a fairly quick pace due to the large capacity of the Merry-Go-Round and its rather short duration compared to most other rides. Based on his estimates, they would only have to wait another two sets of people before it would be their turn. He sets the camera down on his lap and allows his mind to wander while he waits.

‘Nanoha…a very close and dear friend to me that I’ve known since the beginning of, well, all of this. We’ve been through thick and thin together in those two Lost Logia incidents. It’s still rather odd how it all turned out back then,’ he chuckles, ‘To think that she would be the one to pick up where I failed and push forward to collect the remaining Jewel Seeds. And out of her own resolve to help me, too. At first I felt guilty for throwing all this on her shoulders, but when she scolded me and wanted to it for herself to help…’

His eyes blink as he straightens up and scan over the line looking for where they were. They were now closer to the front, but still at least one set of people away. It looked like Vivio was asking her mother some questions to which Nanoha was happily replying if the bright smile on her face was any sign. The sight of mother and daughter smiling was too much as a smile crept up on Yuuno’s lips.

‘Yes, I think it was then that I began treating Nanoha more as a friend rather than a partner. Back then I was still young and naïve, but now I think about it that was probably when I started to fall for that girl whose smile and determination could surpass extraordinary odds.’

The large group of people exiting the ride brought him back to reality. Picking up the camera, he scans the circular ride for the pair. Even with the mass of people wandering looking for an open spot he manages to pick out the brunette and her rather unique off-centered ponytail on the outer ring of the ride. He watches as she helps Vivio up onto the ornate horse. The little girl smiles and giggles as she grips the pole running through the seat. Behind her Nanoha rests one hand protectively on her waist, just in case.

Yuuno hefts the camera up and peers through the viewfinder as the bell in the center rings announcing the start of the ride. The platform begins its slow rotation with music pouring from the numerous speakers in the ceiling. He centers and snaps a few shots of Vivio as she smiles even brighter with the horse slowly bobbing up and down. They pass out of view for a moment, allowing him to set the camera down to rest his arms before coming back around. This time he zooms out to get a few shots of the pair passing by smiling happily.

As he snaps the last photo for the rotation, Yuuno’s mind wanders a bit to the older woman in the photo. Having known her since she was nine, he’s had the opportunity to watch as she developed and matured over the years. From that little, energetic girl she had grown to be a stunning woman with an incredible track record with the TSAB, her career practically set for her.

‘Her figure had also filled out quite nicely, too. Not to mention how great she looks in that skirt…’
He quickly coughs, trying to clear that train of thought from his mind. It was well known throughout the TSAB of the three Aces from the Non-Administered world and their spectacular feats from the young age of nine with no prior knowledge of magic or formal training (with the exception of Fate). Over the past few years their stunning beauty and continuing single status also became fairly well known. Many men, from recruits to high-ranking officers, tried their hand at attempting to court one of the famed Aces only to be turned down. Some had compared the chances to dating one of them to taking them on one-on-one with no limiters and no attack restrictions. This comparison had also kept many from even trying in the first place, yet some still tried their luck now and then.

Setting the camera down on his lap, Yuuno recalls what Hayate had told him before they left for the park.

“Can we talk for a bit, Yuuno-kun?” Hayate spoke audibly, winking in Nanoha’s direction.

“Uh… Sure…” Yuuno glanced at Nanoha.

Nanoha paused in confusion, but then shrugged and said, “Alright. Don’t be late, Yuuno-kun~!” before running off after Vivio.

Hayate dragged him around a bit before settling behind a wall. She stood up straightly with her hands akimbo, a confident smile on her face.

Yuuno pushed up his glasses nervously, “What did you want to talk about, Hayate?”

“So you’ve finally made a first move, huh, Yuuno-kun?”

“But…” Yuuno sighed, “Like we said, it’s just a-Wha?!” he jolted as Hayate’s finger was pointed directly at his nose.

“Whatever it is, you must do your best so as not to disappoint Nanoha-chan,” Hayate warned him with one eye closed, her other hand rose to form an encouraging fist, “Okay?”

‘The first move, huh?’ he mentally sighs.

While the others had never said anything about it, Hayate had been the one to confront him about the ‘status’ between Nanoha and himself. As much as tried to deny any romantic interest in the girl, he knew that it was a lie and he was also lying to himself. He had given her a lot of space when she first started her TSAB career so she could find her calling. The atrocious lack of organization in the Infinity Library had also kept him quite busy at the same time. Now, however she’s an instructor for the new TSAB recruits and plans on remaining such as her refusals of promotions after the Cradle Incident have shown. Not to mention that she has a daughter to look after.

‘Perhaps now would be the best time to give into Hayate’s urgings…,’ he ponders.

The lack of music and rise in voices breaks his train of thought. He instinctively stands and looks around for the pair from the crowded ride’s exit. A slender hand waving above the sea of heads catches his eye. Moments later the trio is reunited by the bench with Vivio giggling happily between the two adults.

“Mama! Mama! Let’s go on another one!” she urges while tugging on Nanoha’s arm.

Nanoha nods, taking a moment to look around at the sea of people around the park.

“Alright. Which one do you want to ride?”

The young girl grins and takes off running down one of the paths. With her hand still locked with her daughters, Nanoha had no choice but to keep up behind the excited bundle of energy the best she could. Behind them Yuuno couldn’t help but laugh as he watched the ‘great’ Ace of Aces being dragged along by a little girl. It definitely was quite an unusual sight.

As the daylight slowly faded away, the trio would ride several more of the attractions, with Vivio promptly dragging them off to the next one with an excited look on her face. Now the sun was nearing the end of its journey across the sky for that day. A spectrum of reds and yellows replaced the lively blue sky. Many groups had already left the park for the day to either make their way home or find a place to eat. The slowly thinning crowds and dimming sky was not lost to the two adults.

“It’s starting to get late, Nanoha. We should probably start heading out soon before we get stuck in the rush out.”

The brunette nods in agreement, “That would be a good idea. Come on, Vivio. Let’s head home.”

Vivio, however, had other ideas.

“No! I don’t want to…,” she complained.

Both adults sighed softly, having realized that this was probably the reaction they would get from the girl. Nanoha knelt before Vivio and placed her hands on her shoulders.

“Vivio, it’s starting to get late. We can always come back another time. Plus Fate-mama is waiting at home for us.”

The little girl crossed her arms over her chest and pouted, puffing her cheeks out as she shook her head to stand by her original decision. As Nanoha tried to reason with her daughter, Yuuno couldn’t help but grin as she watched the little girl whose mannerisms reminded him so much of her mother.

“How about this Vivio,” he starts as he squats down next to Nanoha, “We’ll do one more ride. Any ride you want, okay?”

“Mou, Yuuno-kun. Are you sure?”

Before the librarian could respond, Vivio points her finger at a ride behind them.

“That one!”

Yuuno and Nanoha both rise and turn to look at what the girl was pointing at. Two pairs of eyes fell upon the large Ferris Wheel towering near the end of the park. With the sunlight slowly beginning to wane the giant wheel was lit up all over by bright lights, slowly spinning its passengers around in enclosed passenger pods. Finding herself unable to come up with any opposition to the proposed agreement, Nanoha straightens up and smiles.

“Alright. One more ride.”

Vivio lets out a cheer and grabs the adults’ hands as she excitedly makes her way to the ride. At the same time the pair wonders where she gets all this energy of hers from.

A short time later the trio finds themselves slowly rising from the ground in one of the silver pods. At one end of the pod Vivio kneels on the plastic seat with her hands pressed against the window. Green and red eyes gaze out over the brightly lit park rides and buildings slowly sinking as the wheel turns with curiosity and fascination. On the other end Nanoha and Yuuno sit next to each other and watch over the young girl.

‘Oh boy…I guess it’s now or never,’ he tells himself.

“Nanoha?”

The brunette turns her attention to the blonde boy, “Hm? What is it Yuuno-kun?”

“Erm…ah, Vivio has quite a family, huh?” he blurts out in nervousness.

“Yea, she does doesn’t she?” she says leaning back against the seat, “Fate-chan and I take care of her most of the time. Sometimes Hayate and her Knights watch her watch her when we’re busy with Bureau stuff. Now that I think about it, I think Vita-chan looks to her like an older sister although I doubt she’ll ever admit it.”

Nanoha giggles as she glances over at Vivio, “Maybe I should tell Vivio to start calling her ‘Nee-chan’ from now on.”

That got a chuckle from the young man, especially with the scene of the powerful Iron Knight blushing in embarrassment and stuttering denials floating around his mind.

“Yes, that would be interesting to see.”

“All the Forwards have some attachment to her before RF6 was disbanded. Even Chrono-kun can’t deny that he’s fond of Vivio with how he grins every time she calls him ‘Uncle Chrono.’”

“She does have that effect on people.”

Straightening himself up, Yuuno takes a deep breath to gather what courage he can.

“Ah, what would you say about me Nanoha?”

“Oh, you’ve also been a huge help. I feel kinda bad sometimes when I keep having to ask you to watch her,” she replies in a bit of embarrassment.

“Don’t worry about. I don’t mind at all, especially with all that’s been going on lately everyone’s been pretty busy. Although…”

“Although…?” she questions as she turns to look at him curiously.

He knew that there was no turning back now.

“I-I want to be there for you and Vivio, Nanoha. To be there when you need help,” he pauses as she stares back with her blue orbs waiting for him to continue, “What I mean to say is you, Vivio…would you…”

“Mama look!”

Both adults nearly fall out of their seat in surprise as Vivio jumps between them and points at the window she had come from. Nanoha is the first to recover from the slight scare.

“Look at what Vivio?”

As the young girl excitedly leads her mother over to the other window, Yuuno takes a moment to calm down. He leans back on the seat and watches Vivio excitedly point out different things outside to her smiling mother.

‘I guess now just wasn’t the right time, huh?’ he muses.

Although he was disappointed, he was also a bit glad that Vivio did what she did. He had known Nanoha for a long time and couldn’t deny that he liked her. There were probably others that could see it, but Hayate had always been the most open about encouraging him to ‘make his move’ as she would say.

Yet he was also worried about what would happen when he actually did ask her to go out with him. He knew what he felt, but he never could really tell how she felt towards him. She never really gave any signs of liking him, yet she also never gave any signs of not being against it either. If it meant ruining the friendship they had he didn’t want to risk it, but at the same time he won’t know until he tries.

“Mama, over there! So pretty~”

Yuuno smiles as he continues to watch the pair. There was no use to rush things. Sometimes it was better to just stand back and wait for the right moment. If it was meant to be he’ll wait for that moment. Until then he’ll be there for her as he was back then, watching her and protecting her in anyway he could.

I got 'volunteered' to write this up after they read GenerationS Chapter 1a

sounds good, even though I prefer NxF storys

edit:
after I read Satashi-samas Review of Road of Love, I think, I'll hide everything from him

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by Gillian

after I read Satashi-samas Review of Road of Love, I think, I'll hide everything from him

don't remind me...that's still hampering my inspiration to write.

[SpaceBrotha]

Originally Posted by Gillian

sounds good, even though I prefer NxF storys

edit:
after I read Satashi-samas Review of Road of Love, I think, I'll hide everything from him

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

don't remind me...that's still hampering my inspiration to write.

Holy crap!
That's not satashi's 5 cents, that's a full blown dollar and a half!

certainly, if you correct all that, you'd have a far better fic, but a wall of critique is still one hell of a inspiration killer...
...take it as a challenge to improve yourself, i'm pretty sure that's how she wanted to portray her critique, instead of the shotgun blast to the head as it came out.

[Gillian]

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

don't remind me...that's still hampering my inspiration to write.

I'm sorry to bring it back

[Satashi]

-.-; Come on, it was just one person's look on it. There's NO reason to be so down about it or let it hinder you >< You don't have to change anything. Taking reviews like that with a grain of salt is something you'll have to get used to as an author. I'm sorry I bummed you out but while reviewing I always look at it from a neutral view as best I can so I can offer a little advice and just generally say things I thought or saw. It's saying a lot that I would go through the trouble of doing it. If you look at the reviews I leave I've only reviews like.....three...... Nanoha fics. I try to avoid it all together but yours was enough to make me honestly want to do it. Although, I know, it was a little harsh and straight forward I really hope you can look past that and see that your story was good enough to make someone who doesn't even really read fanfiction to take all that time and comment on it.

But still, it was only one person. Lots said they liked it. Take the bad with the good and get off your butt and write more

Originally Posted by SpaceBrotha

Holy crap!
That's not satashi's 5 cents, that's a full blown dollar and a half!

more like three-fifty

[Liingo]

Got struck by the hammer of inspiration today and have started writing a new fic. Figured I better at least get some of it down first. Hopefully this'll make me want to get a move on with my OC work, which has been stalled for over a month now.. T__T

For people who haven't read any of my works before,
' ~ ' = thoughts
" ~ " = speech

Spoiler for Our Mistress:

Prologue: Aftermath

Beep….Beep….Beep…

It was a sparse room, lightly furnished, designed for ease of access. A cluster of displays hovered in the air just over the centre line of the room. It didn’t matter that the information that they displayed was available elsewhere, just that those who were in charge felt more comfortable with them there. All of them had met her personally at one stage or another during their careers, a meeting that had changed them all for the better.

He entered the door closing behind him silently until it hit the wall with a muffled thud. He looked up hopefully towards the figure lying peacefully beneath the displays, wondering if there was any change. The figure showed no sign of having heard the door. ‘Well, it’s still early days after all. Given the extent of her injuries, it’s a small miracle that she’s alive at all.’

Bathed in the soft green glow of the displays, she looked a hundred times better than how she had looked when she arrived early in the morning. It was nowhere near her true condition, but the vision of her there bathed in such a glow gave him hope that the danger had passed, at least for the moment. A team of doctors and surgeons had worked for nearly half the day, even with the times where breaks had to be taken for fresh nurses to come in and take over. She was out of the worse of it, but time would tell how well she would recover. ‘And even if she does recover physically, none of us are sure whether she is going to be able to live on after what has happened.’

As he moved closer to the bed, the faint hiss of the ventilator could be heard. It was but one of a slew of devices that surrounded her. Satisfied that the devices were all functioning correctly, he doubled checked that all the catheters were firmly secured, before pulling the cover further up her body. He turned away from her after uttering a short prayer over her, heading for the door. If anyone had been watching, the glow of the devices would have revealed the tears flowing down his face.

He made sure that the door closed softly as he exited the room. ‘Time to get some rest, I’ll be glad once this night is over.’ As he made to move away from the patient’s room, a figure came around the corner.

“How is she?” they asked.

“As good as can be expected by one in her position. Better in fact. I’ve never dealt with injuries like these but some of the others have remarked that she’s a good few hours ahead of what they’ve experienced in these cases.”

The tension in the figure facing him eased considerably, “It’s going to ok right, she’d going to get better?”

He scratched the back of his head, “Well it looks good so far, I can’t make any guarantees though. Can you please get some rest now; you’re in no position yourself to be up at this hour, not with those injuries.”

“She’s going to live. No matter what. Their sacrifice is not going to be in vein.” With that they headed back in the direction of their room.

‘I hope you’re right. I really hope you do.’

****

Pain coursed through Agito’s body as she finally made it back to her room. Despite her bravado, the possibility that she wouldn’t make it was ever present in the back of her mind. While the doctor was correct that letting her body rest and recover was the best thing to do, what had happened kept playing in her mind, preventing her from getting to sleep.

We are the Wolkenritter, sworn guardians of the Mistress of the Night Sky. Death to those that attempt to harm her. Seeing that she has been hurt already, I’ll just have to make sure you have a fate worse than death.

It's quite short I know, but I think it's a good place to leave it for now. It could probably be a little longer if I had a bit more description, but I'm happy with the lenght at the moment for it.

Comments, critiques welcome since this is my first attempt at just using canon characters as the focus to the story.

Liingo

Satashi, It'll get posted to FF.net shortly, once I figure out how to... and also once I've had the time to read through and catch any minor errors.

[SpaceBrotha]

Originally Posted by Liingo

Got struck by the hammer of inspiration today and have started writing a new fic. Figured I better at least get some of it down first. Hopefully this'll make me want to get a move on with my OC work, which has been stalled for over a month now.. T__T

For people who haven't read any of my works before,
' ~ ' = thoughts
" ~ " = speech

Spoiler for Our Mistress:

Prologue: Aftermath

Beep….Beep….Beep…

It was a sparse room, lightly furnished, designed for ease of access. A cluster of displays hovered in the air just over the centre line of the room. It didn’t matter that the information that they displayed was available elsewhere, just that those who were in charge of the room felt more comfortable with them there. All of them had met her personally at one stage or another during their careers, a meeting that had changed them all for the better.

He entered the door closing behind him silently until it hit the wall with a muffled thud. He looked up hopefully towards the centre of the room, wondering if there was any change. The figure in the centre of the room showed no sign of having heard the door. ‘Well, it’s still early days after all. Given the extent of her injuries, it’s a small miracle that she’s alive at all.’

Bathed in the soft green glow of the displays, she looked a hundred times better than how she had looked when she arrived early in the morning. It was nowhere near her true condition, but the vision of her there bathed in such a glow gave him hope that the danger had passed, at least for the moment. A team of doctors and surgeons had worked for nearly half the day, even with the times where breaks had to be taken for fresh nurses to come in and take over. She was out of the worse of it, but time would tell how well she would recover. ‘And even if she does recover physically, none of us are sure whether she is going to be able to live on after what has happened.’

As he moved closer to the bed, the faint hiss of the ventilator could be heard. It was but one of a slew of devices that surrounded her. Satisfied that the devices were all functioning correctly, he doubled checked that all the catheters were firmly secured, before pulling the cover further up her body. He turned away from her after uttering a short prayer over her, heading for the door. If anyone had been watching, the glow of the devices would have revealed the tears flowing down his face.

He made sure that the door closed softly as he exited the room. ‘Time to get some rest, I’ll be glad once this night is over.’ As he made to move away from the patient’s room, a figure came around the corner.

“How is she?” they asked.

“As good as can be expected by one in her position. Better in fact. I’ve never dealt with injuries like these but some of the others have remarked that she’s a good few hours ahead of what they’ve experienced in these cases.”

The tension in the figure facing him eased considerably, “It’s going to ok right, she’d going to get better?”

He scratched the back of his head, “Well it looks good so far, I can’t make any guarantees though. Can you please get some rest now; you’re in no position yourself to be up at this hour, not with those injuries.”

“She’s going to live. No matter what. Their sacrifice is not going to be in vein.” With that they headed back in the direction of their room.

‘I hope you’re right. I really hope you do.’

****

Pain coursed through Agito’s body as she finally made it back to her room. Despite her bravado, the possibility that she wouldn’t make it was ever present in the back of her mind. While the doctor was correct that letting her body rest and recover was the best thing to do, what had happened kept playing in her mind, preventing her from getting to sleep.

We are the Wolkenritter, sworn guardians of the Mistress of the Night Sky. Death to those that attempt to harm her. Seeing that she has been hurt already, I’ll just have to make sure you have a fate worse than death.

It's quite short I know, but I think it's a good place to leave it for now. It could probably be a little longer if I had a bit more description, but I'm happy with the lenght at the moment for it.

Comments, critiques welcome since this is my first attempt at just using canon characters as the focus to the story.

Well, that certainly got my attention,

Spoiler for can't spoil this:

though i think that mentioning the sacrifice(s) causes a sort of "someone will definitely die" mentality that ruins a bit of the emotion in the actual death scene.
The implications that hayate got seriously injured, as did agito apparently, is enough to set suspense into the story...
...besides, a sudden death has greater shock value, than one that you're constantly waiting to happen.
Also, "a figure came around the corner" followed by "they asked"... wut?

...but it's only a personal opinion, so don't mind that, keep on writing.

[Liingo]

Originally Posted by SpaceBrotha

Well, that certainly got my attention,

Spoiler for can't spoil this:

though i think that mentioning the sacrifice(s) causes a sort of "someone will definitely die" mentality that ruins a bit of the emotion in the actual death scene.
The implications that hayate got seriously injured, as did agito apparently, is enough to set suspense into the story...
...besides, a sudden death has creater shock value, than one that you're constantly waiting to happen.
Also, "a figure came around the corner" followed by "they asked"... wut?

...but it's only a personal opinion, so don't mind that, keep on writing.

Hmmm, you raise some good points there....

Spoiler for response:

On the second part first, perhaps I could have worded that a bit more clearly... it was the figure coming around the corner that was asking the doctor.

About point of the sacrifice.... I'll have to look into seeing how I can change it. It's far too late here for me to be thinking straight tonight..

Thanks alot for the comments. Oh and don't expect the next part for at least a week.. or two...

[Estavali]

Originally Posted by Liingo

Got struck by the hammer of inspiration today and have started writing a new fic. Figured I better at least get some of it down first. Hopefully this'll make me want to get a move on with my OC work, which has been stalled for over a month now.. T__T

For people who haven't read any of my works before,
' ~ ' = thoughts
" ~ " = speech

Spoiler for Our Mistress:

Prologue: Aftermath

Beep….Beep….Beep…

It was a sparse room, lightly furnished, designed for ease of access. A cluster of displays hovered in the air just over the centre line of the room. It didn’t matter that the information that they displayed was available elsewhere, just that those who were in charge of the room felt more comfortable with them there. All of them had met her personally at one stage or another during their careers, a meeting that had changed them all for the better.

He entered the door closing behind him silently until it hit the wall with a muffled thud. He looked up hopefully towards the centre of the room, wondering if there was any change. The figure in the centre of the room showed no sign of having heard the door. ‘Well, it’s still early days after all. Given the extent of her injuries, it’s a small miracle that she’s alive at all.’

Bathed in the soft green glow of the displays, she looked a hundred times better than how she had looked when she arrived early in the morning. It was nowhere near her true condition, but the vision of her there bathed in such a glow gave him hope that the danger had passed, at least for the moment. A team of doctors and surgeons had worked for nearly half the day, even with the times where breaks had to be taken for fresh nurses to come in and take over. She was out of the worse of it, but time would tell how well she would recover. ‘And even if she does recover physically, none of us are sure whether she is going to be able to live on after what has happened.’

As he moved closer to the bed, the faint hiss of the ventilator could be heard. It was but one of a slew of devices that surrounded her. Satisfied that the devices were all functioning correctly, he doubled checked that all the catheters were firmly secured, before pulling the cover further up her body. He turned away from her after uttering a short prayer over her, heading for the door. If anyone had been watching, the glow of the devices would have revealed the tears flowing down his face.

He made sure that the door closed softly as he exited the room. ‘Time to get some rest, I’ll be glad once this night is over.’ As he made to move away from the patient’s room, a figure came around the corner.

“How is she?” they asked.

“As good as can be expected by one in her position. Better in fact. I’ve never dealt with injuries like these but some of the others have remarked that she’s a good few hours ahead of what they’ve experienced in these cases.”

The tension in the figure facing him eased considerably, “It’s going to ok right, she’d going to get better?”

He scratched the back of his head, “Well it looks good so far, I can’t make any guarantees though. Can you please get some rest now; you’re in no position yourself to be up at this hour, not with those injuries.”

“She’s going to live. No matter what. Their sacrifice is not going to be in vein.” With that they headed back in the direction of their room.

‘I hope you’re right. I really hope you do.’

****

Pain coursed through Agito’s body as she finally made it back to her room. Despite her bravado, the possibility that she wouldn’t make it was ever present in the back of her mind. While the doctor was correct that letting her body rest and recover was the best thing to do, what had happened kept playing in her mind, preventing her from getting to sleep.

We are the Wolkenritter, sworn guardians of the Mistress of the Night Sky. Death to those that attempt to harm her. Seeing that she has been hurt already, I’ll just have to make sure you have a fate worse than death.

It's quite short I know, but I think it's a good place to leave it for now. It could probably be a little longer if I had a bit more description, but I'm happy with the lenght at the moment for it.

Comments, critiques welcome since this is my first attempt at just using canon characters as the focus to the story.

Liingo

Satashi, It'll get posted to FF.net shortly, once I figure out how to... and also once I've had the time to read through and catch any minor errors.

Hmm.......

I hope rape isn't included in your plans, my friend....

And why are you always thinking about sexual violence, hmm, Estavali? Wash that filthy brain of yours, now!

This smells of heavy CC casualties, especially from the Yagami-ke. Not to mention some very serious mental breakdown.

More, please.

[Aaron008R]

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

Well, seems like some people in the OC thread want me to post this here, so...


A Day at the Amusement Park, a GenerationS side story

Spoiler for A Day at the Amusement Park:

In the nearly clear, blue sky above the sun shined its warming rays as it passed its apex. The rays of warmth heated the surrounding air of the city below bursting with activity. Men and women milled around inside and out going about their daily business. Some sought out the refuge of the tall, air conditioned buildings. Others took advantage of the warm weather and spent the day out to take in some fresh air. The local amusement park was especially busy with the pleasant weather. Groups of friends gathered and milled about. Families of all sizes and relations wandered the park led on by smiling, eager children. There were also some mixes of the two groups enjoying a day at the park.

“Waaa~!”

One Vivio Takamachi took in the amazing sights around her with a mix of curiosity and wonder. Her mismatched eyes darted from ride of ride, from display to display as she almost skipped in joy on one of the many concrete paths. If she was able to have her own way, she would be running about from attraction to attraction. However her escorts on either side of her for the day preferred a more casual pace at the moment.

“Vivio, what would you like to ride first?” asked the young lady holding onto her hand on her left.

“Everything!” replied the young girl with a bright smile.

The young man on her right chuckled at her enthusiasm.

“Well, I don’t think we can ride them all at once, Vivio.”

That caused Vivio to pause her current train of thought and ponder for a moment. She placed a finger from her free hand on her chin as her eyes wandered upwards in what appeared to be deep thought. A short moment passed before she excitedly pointed at the Merry-Go-Round.

“That one Nanoha-mama!”

“Alright. Let’s go!” exclaimed Nanoha Takamachi, the famed Ace of Aces (as well as infamous White Devil) of the TSAB, as she smiled down at her adopted daughter.

The heterochromatic girl giggled in excitement as she sprinted towards the selected ride, dragging her mother along side her hand in hand. From the rear, head librarian of the TSAB Infinity Library Yuuno Scrya couldn’t hold back the wide smile as he watched the two run off.

“Yuuno-kun~! Hurry up!” called back Nanoha as she tried to keep up with her daughter.

“Coming,” he called back, breaking into a jog to catch up to the pair.

With the large crowds that day, the majority of the rides were fairly busy. Lines at the more popular attractions had several hour waits as people continued to pile into the robed-off areas. The Merry-Go-Round was no exception as the pair stood in line. Nanoha glanced around her to find her friend sitting down on one of the nearby benches positioned around the ride area.

“Eh? What are you doing over there, Yuuno-kun?”

The blonde-haired young man lifted the camera that was resting around his neck and gestured to it, “You two go on. It’d be harder to get good pictures if I was right next to you.”

“Mou…are you sure?” remarked the brunette with a slight frown.

“I’m sure, Nanoha,” he replied with a laugh, “Besides, the signs say they only allow one adult to be standing per child and she is your daughter.”

“Oh, fine. You had better get some good pictures then, you silly ferret.”

“I will, I promise.”

A tug on her arm brought Nanoha’s attention to the girl besides her as she knelt down to answer some question she had. From the bench, Yuuno leaned back and watched the mother-daughter pair with a smile. He had known the famous mage for over a decade now. In a way, all of this was his fault.

‘No that wasn’t right,’ he corrected himself, ‘I was the catalyst that started a journey and an adventure.’

The line moved at a fairly quick pace due to the large capacity of the Merry-Go-Round and its rather short duration compared to most other rides. Based on his estimates, they would only have to wait another two sets of people before it would be their turn. He sets the camera down on his lap and allows his mind to wander while he waits.

‘Nanoha…a very close and dear friend to me that I’ve known since the beginning of, well, all of this. We’ve been through thick and thin together in those two Lost Logia incidents. It’s still rather odd how it all turned out back then,’ he chuckles, ‘To think that she would be the one to pick up where I failed and push forward to collect the remaining Jewel Seeds. And out of her own resolve to help me, too. At first I felt guilty for throwing all this on her shoulders, but when she scolded me and wanted to it for herself to help…’

His eyes blink as he straightens up and scan over the line looking for where they were. They were now closer to the front, but still at least one set of people away. It looked like Vivio was asking her mother some questions to which Nanoha was happily replying if the bright smile on her face was any sign. The sight of mother and daughter smiling was too much as a smile crept up on Yuuno’s lips.

‘Yes, I think it was then that I began treating Nanoha more as a friend rather than a partner. Back then I was still young and naïve, but now I think about it that was probably when I started to fall for that girl whose smile and determination could surpass extraordinary odds.’

The large group of people exiting the ride brought him back to reality. Picking up the camera, he scans the circular ride for the pair. Even with the mass of people wandering looking for an open spot he manages to pick out the brunette and her rather unique off-centered ponytail on the outer ring of the ride. He watches as she helps Vivio up onto the ornate horse. The little girl smiles and giggles as she grips the pole running through the seat. Behind her Nanoha rests one hand protectively on her waist, just in case.

Yuuno hefts the camera up and peers through the viewfinder as the bell in the center rings announcing the start of the ride. The platform begins its slow rotation with music pouring from the numerous speakers in the ceiling. He centers and snaps a few shots of Vivio as she smiles even brighter with the horse slowly bobbing up and down. They pass out of view for a moment, allowing him to set the camera down to rest his arms before coming back around. This time he zooms out to get a few shots of the pair passing by smiling happily.

As he snaps the last photo for the rotation, Yuuno’s mind wanders a bit to the older woman in the photo. Having known her since she was nine, he’s had the opportunity to watch as she developed and matured over the years. From that little, energetic girl she had grown to be a stunning woman with an incredible track record with the TSAB, her career practically set for her.

‘Her figure had also filled out quite nicely, too. Not to mention how great she looks in that skirt…’
He quickly coughs, trying to clear that train of thought from his mind. It was well known throughout the TSAB of the three Aces from the Non-Administered world and their spectacular feats from the young age of nine with no prior knowledge of magic or formal training (with the exception of Fate). Over the past few years their stunning beauty and continuing single status also became fairly well known. Many men, from recruits to high-ranking officers, tried their hand at attempting to court one of the famed Aces only to be turned down. Some had compared the chances to dating one of them to taking them on one-on-one with no limiters and no attack restrictions. This comparison had also kept many from even trying in the first place, yet some still tried their luck now and then.

Setting the camera down on his lap, Yuuno recalls what Hayate had told him before they left for the park.

“Can we talk for a bit, Yuuno-kun?” Hayate spoke audibly, winking in Nanoha’s direction.

“Uh… Sure…” Yuuno glanced at Nanoha.

Nanoha paused in confusion, but then shrugged and said, “Alright. Don’t be late, Yuuno-kun~!” before running off after Vivio.

Hayate dragged him around a bit before settling behind a wall. She stood up straightly with her hands akimbo, a confident smile on her face.

Yuuno pushed up his glasses nervously, “What did you want to talk about, Hayate?”

“So you’ve finally made a first move, huh, Yuuno-kun?”

“But…” Yuuno sighed, “Like we said, it’s just a-Wha?!” he jolted as Hayate’s finger was pointed directly at his nose.

“Whatever it is, you must do your best so as not to disappoint Nanoha-chan,” Hayate warned him with one eye closed, her other hand rose to form an encouraging fist, “Okay?”

‘The first move, huh?’ he mentally sighs.

While the others had never said anything about it, Hayate had been the one to confront him about the ‘status’ between Nanoha and himself. As much as tried to deny any romantic interest in the girl, he knew that it was a lie and he was also lying to himself. He had given her a lot of space when she first started her TSAB career so she could find her calling. The atrocious lack of organization in the Infinity Library had also kept him quite busy at the same time. Now, however she’s an instructor for the new TSAB recruits and plans on remaining such as her refusals of promotions after the Cradle Incident have shown. Not to mention that she has a daughter to look after.

‘Perhaps now would be the best time to give into Hayate’s urgings…,’ he ponders.

The lack of music and rise in voices breaks his train of thought. He instinctively stands and looks around for the pair from the crowded ride’s exit. A slender hand waving above the sea of heads catches his eye. Moments later the trio is reunited by the bench with Vivio giggling happily between the two adults.

“Mama! Mama! Let’s go on another one!” she urges while tugging on Nanoha’s arm.

Nanoha nods, taking a moment to look around at the sea of people around the park.

“Alright. Which one do you want to ride?”

The young girl grins and takes off running down one of the paths. With her hand still locked with her daughters, Nanoha had no choice but to keep up behind the excited bundle of energy the best she could. Behind them Yuuno couldn’t help but laugh as he watched the ‘great’ Ace of Aces being dragged along by a little girl. It definitely was quite an unusual sight.

As the daylight slowly faded away, the trio would ride several more of the attractions, with Vivio promptly dragging them off to the next one with an excited look on her face. Now the sun was nearing the end of its journey across the sky for that day. A spectrum of reds and yellows replaced the lively blue sky. Many groups had already left the park for the day to either make their way home or find a place to eat. The slowly thinning crowds and dimming sky was not lost to the two adults.

“It’s starting to get late, Nanoha. We should probably start heading out soon before we get stuck in the rush out.”

The brunette nods in agreement, “That would be a good idea. Come on, Vivio. Let’s head home.”

Vivio, however, had other ideas.

“No! I don’t want to…,” she complained.

Both adults sighed softly, having realized that this was probably the reaction they would get from the girl. Nanoha knelt before Vivio and placed her hands on her shoulders.

“Vivio, it’s starting to get late. We can always come back another time. Plus Fate-mama is waiting at home for us.”

The little girl crossed her arms over her chest and pouted, puffing her cheeks out as she shook her head to stand by her original decision. As Nanoha tried to reason with her daughter, Yuuno couldn’t help but grin as she watched the little girl whose mannerisms reminded him so much of her mother.

“How about this Vivio,” he starts as he squats down next to Nanoha, “We’ll do one more ride. Any ride you want, okay?”

“Mou, Yuuno-kun. Are you sure?”

Before the librarian could respond, Vivio points her finger at a ride behind them.

“That one!”

Yuuno and Nanoha both rise and turn to look at what the girl was pointing at. Two pairs of eyes fell upon the large Ferris Wheel towering near the end of the park. With the sunlight slowly beginning to wane the giant wheel was lit up all over by bright lights, slowly spinning its passengers around in enclosed passenger pods. Finding herself unable to come up with any opposition to the proposed agreement, Nanoha straightens up and smiles.

“Alright. One more ride.”

Vivio lets out a cheer and grabs the adults’ hands as she excitedly makes her way to the ride. At the same time the pair wonders where she gets all this energy of hers from.

A short time later the trio finds themselves slowly rising from the ground in one of the silver pods. At one end of the pod Vivio kneels on the plastic seat with her hands pressed against the window. Green and red eyes gaze out over the brightly lit park rides and buildings slowly sinking as the wheel turns with curiosity and fascination. On the other end Nanoha and Yuuno sit next to each other and watch over the young girl.

‘Oh boy…I guess it’s now or never,’ he tells himself.

“Nanoha?”

The brunette turns her attention to the blonde boy, “Hm? What is it Yuuno-kun?”

“Erm…ah, Vivio has quite a family, huh?” he blurts out in nervousness.

“Yea, she does doesn’t she?” she says leaning back against the seat, “Fate-chan and I take care of her most of the time. Sometimes Hayate and her Knights watch her watch her when we’re busy with Bureau stuff. Now that I think about it, I think Vita-chan looks to her like an older sister although I doubt she’ll ever admit it.”

Nanoha giggles as she glances over at Vivio, “Maybe I should tell Vivio to start calling her ‘Nee-chan’ from now on.”

That got a chuckle from the young man, especially with the scene of the powerful Iron Knight blushing in embarrassment and stuttering denials floating around his mind.

“Yes, that would be interesting to see.”

“All the Forwards have some attachment to her before RF6 was disbanded. Even Chrono-kun can’t deny that he’s fond of Vivio with how he grins every time she calls him ‘Uncle Chrono.’”

“She does have that effect on people.”

Straightening himself up, Yuuno takes a deep breath to gather what courage he can.

“Ah, what would you say about me Nanoha?”

“Oh, you’ve also been a huge help. I feel kinda bad sometimes when I keep having to ask you to watch her,” she replies in a bit of embarrassment.

“Don’t worry about. I don’t mind at all, especially with all that’s been going on lately everyone’s been pretty busy. Although…”

“Although…?” she questions as she turns to look at him curiously.

He knew that there was no turning back now.

“I-I want to be there for you and Vivio, Nanoha. To be there when you need help,” he pauses as she stares back with her blue orbs waiting for him to continue, “What I mean to say is you, Vivio…would you…”

“Mama look!”

Both adults nearly fall out of their seat in surprise as Vivio jumps between them and points at the window she had come from. Nanoha is the first to recover from the slight scare.

“Look at what Vivio?”

As the young girl excitedly leads her mother over to the other window, Yuuno takes a moment to calm down. He leans back on the seat and watches Vivio excitedly point out different things outside to her smiling mother.

‘I guess now just wasn’t the right time, huh?’ he muses.

Although he was disappointed, he was also a bit glad that Vivio did what she did. He had known Nanoha for a long time and couldn’t deny that he liked her. There were probably others that could see it, but Hayate had always been the most open about encouraging him to ‘make his move’ as she would say.

Yet he was also worried about what would happen when he actually did ask her to go out with him. He knew what he felt, but he never could really tell how she felt towards him. She never really gave any signs of liking him, yet she also never gave any signs of not being against it either. If it meant ruining the friendship they had he didn’t want to risk it, but at the same time he won’t know until he tries.

“Mama, over there! So pretty~”

Yuuno smiles as he continues to watch the pair. There was no use to rush things. Sometimes it was better to just stand back and wait for the right moment. If it was meant to be he’ll wait for that moment. Until then he’ll be there for her as he was back then, watching her and protecting her in anyway he could.

I got 'volunteered' to write this up after they read GenerationS Chapter 1a

FieryAeon and Tormenk were right in picking you! I loved how they interacted and reading Yuuno's reflections! The insert from my fic got me surprised though. Thanks for doing it!

Originally Posted by Liingo

Got struck by the hammer of inspiration today and have started writing a new fic. Figured I better at least get some of it down first. Hopefully this'll make me want to get a move on with my OC work, which has been stalled for over a month now.. T__T

For people who haven't read any of my works before,
' ~ ' = thoughts
" ~ " = speech

Spoiler for Our Mistress:

Prologue: Aftermath

Beep….Beep….Beep…

It was a sparse room, lightly furnished, designed for ease of access. A cluster of displays hovered in the air just over the centre line of the room. It didn’t matter that the information that they displayed was available elsewhere, just that those who were in charge of the room felt more comfortable with them there. All of them had met her personally at one stage or another during their careers, a meeting that had changed them all for the better.

He entered the door closing behind him silently until it hit the wall with a muffled thud. He looked up hopefully towards the centre of the room, wondering if there was any change. The figure in the centre of the room showed no sign of having heard the door. ‘Well, it’s still early days after all. Given the extent of her injuries, it’s a small miracle that she’s alive at all.’

Bathed in the soft green glow of the displays, she looked a hundred times better than how she had looked when she arrived early in the morning. It was nowhere near her true condition, but the vision of her there bathed in such a glow gave him hope that the danger had passed, at least for the moment. A team of doctors and surgeons had worked for nearly half the day, even with the times where breaks had to be taken for fresh nurses to come in and take over. She was out of the worse of it, but time would tell how well she would recover. ‘And even if she does recover physically, none of us are sure whether she is going to be able to live on after what has happened.’

As he moved closer to the bed, the faint hiss of the ventilator could be heard. It was but one of a slew of devices that surrounded her. Satisfied that the devices were all functioning correctly, he doubled checked that all the catheters were firmly secured, before pulling the cover further up her body. He turned away from her after uttering a short prayer over her, heading for the door. If anyone had been watching, the glow of the devices would have revealed the tears flowing down his face.

He made sure that the door closed softly as he exited the room. ‘Time to get some rest, I’ll be glad once this night is over.’ As he made to move away from the patient’s room, a figure came around the corner.

“How is she?” they asked.

“As good as can be expected by one in her position. Better in fact. I’ve never dealt with injuries like these but some of the others have remarked that she’s a good few hours ahead of what they’ve experienced in these cases.”

The tension in the figure facing him eased considerably, “It’s going to ok right, she’d going to get better?”

He scratched the back of his head, “Well it looks good so far, I can’t make any guarantees though. Can you please get some rest now; you’re in no position yourself to be up at this hour, not with those injuries.”

“She’s going to live. No matter what. Their sacrifice is not going to be in vein.” With that they headed back in the direction of their room.

‘I hope you’re right. I really hope you do.’

****

Pain coursed through Agito’s body as she finally made it back to her room. Despite her bravado, the possibility that she wouldn’t make it was ever present in the back of her mind. While the doctor was correct that letting her body rest and recover was the best thing to do, what had happened kept playing in her mind, preventing her from getting to sleep.

We are the Wolkenritter, sworn guardians of the Mistress of the Night Sky. Death to those that attempt to harm her. Seeing that she has been hurt already, I’ll just have to make sure you have a fate worse than death.

It's quite short I know, but I think it's a good place to leave it for now. It could probably be a little longer if I had a bit more description, but I'm happy with the lenght at the moment for it.

Comments, critiques welcome since this is my first attempt at just using canon characters as the focus to the story.

Liingo

Satashi, It'll get posted to FF.net shortly, once I figure out how to... and also once I've had the time to read through and catch any minor errors.

Sorry, but your warning in the OC thread piqued my interest. I'm glad I read it though. The premise is very interesting. Though at the damage. Will wait for more. XD

[Liingo]

Originally Posted by Estavali

Hmm.......

I hope rape isn't included in your plans, my friend....

And why are you always thinking about sexual violence, hmm, Estavali? Wash that filthy brain of yours, now!

This smells of heavy CC casualties, especially from the Yagami-ke. Not to mention some very serious mental breakdown.

More, please.

No, no rape..... that's an issue that I'd like to not touch at all for a good number of years if even at that.

Like I said... it might take a while..

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Sorry, but your warning in the OC thread piqued my interest. I'm glad I read it though. The premise is very interesting. Though at the damage. Will wait for more. XD

The damage is bad, but worse things happen in the fic outline that's in my head.

Now to just take the outline and write it up in such a manner that people know what's going on.

[Kourin]

Originally Posted by Liingo

Spoiler for Our Mistress:

Prologue: Aftermath

Beep….Beep….Beep…

It was a sparse room, lightly furnished, designed for ease of access. A cluster of displays hovered in the air just over the centre line of the room. It didn’t matter that the information that they displayed was available elsewhere, just that those who were in charge of the room felt more comfortable with them there. All of them had met her personally at one stage or another during their careers, a meeting that had changed them all for the better.

He entered the door closing behind him silently until it hit the wall with a muffled thud. He looked up hopefully towards the centre of the room, wondering if there was any change. The figure in the centre of the room showed no sign of having heard the door. ‘Well, it’s still early days after all. Given the extent of her injuries, it’s a small miracle that she’s alive at all.’

Bathed in the soft green glow of the displays, she looked a hundred times better than how she had looked when she arrived early in the morning. It was nowhere near her true condition, but the vision of her there bathed in such a glow gave him hope that the danger had passed, at least for the moment. A team of doctors and surgeons had worked for nearly half the day, even with the times where breaks had to be taken for fresh nurses to come in and take over. She was out of the worse of it, but time would tell how well she would recover. ‘And even if she does recover physically, none of us are sure whether she is going to be able to live on after what has happened.’

As he moved closer to the bed, the faint hiss of the ventilator could be heard. It was but one of a slew of devices that surrounded her. Satisfied that the devices were all functioning correctly, he doubled checked that all the catheters were firmly secured, before pulling the cover further up her body. He turned away from her after uttering a short prayer over her, heading for the door. If anyone had been watching, the glow of the devices would have revealed the tears flowing down his face.

He made sure that the door closed softly as he exited the room. ‘Time to get some rest, I’ll be glad once this night is over.’ As he made to move away from the patient’s room, a figure came around the corner.

“How is she?” they asked.

“As good as can be expected by one in her position. Better in fact. I’ve never dealt with injuries like these but some of the others have remarked that she’s a good few hours ahead of what they’ve experienced in these cases.”

The tension in the figure facing him eased considerably, “It’s going to ok right, she’d going to get better?”

He scratched the back of his head, “Well it looks good so far, I can’t make any guarantees though. Can you please get some rest now; you’re in no position yourself to be up at this hour, not with those injuries.”

“She’s going to live. No matter what. Their sacrifice is not going to be in vein.” With that they headed back in the direction of their room.

‘I hope you’re right. I really hope you do.’

****

Pain coursed through Agito’s body as she finally made it back to her room. Despite her bravado, the possibility that she wouldn’t make it was ever present in the back of her mind. While the doctor was correct that letting her body rest and recover was the best thing to do, what had happened kept playing in her mind, preventing her from getting to sleep.

We are the Wolkenritter, sworn guardians of the Mistress of the Night Sky. Death to those that attempt to harm her. Seeing that she has been hurt already, I’ll just have to make sure you have a fate worse than death.

this has a great start... it's easy to follow, the suspense kept throughout. I like that the end part had Agito... but, some dark times ahead it seems... hope you write more soon. it was an evil place to stop and not have more to read.

just two very small things in the first two paragraphs
EDIT:

Spoiler:

A cluster of displays hovered in the air just over the centre line of the room. It didn’t matter that the information that they displayed was available elsewhere, just that those who were in charge of the room felt more comfortable with them there <--- repetition. could just leave out the second "of the room"

He looked up hopefully towards the centre of the room, wondering if there was any change. The figure in the centre of the room showed no sign of having heard the door. <--repetition. could use "on the bed" or something else.

no big deal, just that it's a little distracting when the same phrases/words get used too often or too close together. (just me being picky)

[Ryand-Smith]

I go to study, and I find all of this large ammount of NanohaXFate, Sigum and Shamal, and other assorted Fanfictions! I feel very happy, and in my next post, I'll have to start commenting

[Ryand-Smith]

Comment 1. Our Mistress. Its a nice look from the point of view of The Meisters, and the end scene gives me vibes almost like Hostel, or the propagation scene in the movie Pulp fiction. Its a well done preview for the background, and later scenes. Tell me, is Signum going to start... breaking the target?

Comment The Second. A Day at the Amusement Park. I was wondering if someone could use Vivo as a central binding force in a story, and you have made me happy to say, proved me right. The relationship between Yuuno and Nanoha seems how it should logically develop, conceding how close they were in A's and MGLN, The addition of Vivo makes it have the daily recommended amount of moeblob, not to much, and its... so damn.. cute..

Comment III ghazghkull's mini story

Oh fuck, its so good... I mean Vivio with both Zamber form and Raging Heart... I must find a artist... And the story seems like a nice summary of what I hope 7arcs does with Vivo's Character

Comment Quatre

Satashi's Mini Story

More Nanoha X Fate. I wasn't a shipper when I started with StrikerS (Subaru FTW!) but now I have been converted to Legion... We are many, after all, and its nice fluff. Always a good thing

[Ryand-Smith]

Spoiler for Riders:

Under the orange glow of the setting sun, people mingled about the end of their day of work. For some work was just about to begin for the evening shift. People talked and mingled about here and there, carrying on their normal routines in spite of the mysterious disappearances that had started to make the news. It was but a small abnormality in the larger world, our world. To them on the other hand, it was normal. It was survival.

IT, like the others of its kind, watched the humans mingle about, completely oblivious to its presence. IT didn't mind, as there was no way they could notice it anyway. They were its prey, its food.

From the clean glass plane IT watched and waited. There were too many around that would cause a commotion should it feast now. IT would wait until it could grab one without being noticed so as not to scare the food away from the hunting grounds.

The creature's patience would soon be rewarded as the crowds thinned as the bus departed from the now empty stop. A lone salary man made his way to the stop, oblivious to the danger around him. Yes, now was the time to strike. IT would soon have a well deserved meal. From the glass IT carefully reached out into our world towards the man. IT licked its lips in anticipation of the meal it was about to catch...

WHAM

IT stumbled back from the glass in its world as pain coursed through its stomach. Something had hit it. Hard. But that was impossible! Prey couldn't see IT when it reached into the prey's world. There was no way...

WHAM

Another blow sends the creature rolling across the floor, breaking its thoughts. IT stands quickly and steels itself to face its attacker. A quick scan of the area locates a lone figure standing where IT once stood by the glass. The attacker wore a white blouse and black skirt. Long hair was tied neatly into an off-centered ponytail.

A HUMAN?! Prey in its world?! Impossible! The only prey that came here were to be eaten. None could come under their own abilities. Unless...the rumors. IT had heard of rumors being passed amongst its kind.

The female held a black container in her hand. It looked like it was open at one end with a simple red orb set on one of the sides. She also wore...a belt? Why hadn't IT noticed noticed the large, silver belt before? The rumors! No! They couldn't be true!

She stared back into its inhuman eyes and said one word.

"Henshin."

With a quick arm movement, the black container slammed into the odd looking belt with a click...and glowed. IT had to cover its eyes from the light that emitted from the prey for a brief moment. Lowering its arms, IT took a step back. Gone was the female prey that had attacked it. Instead stood the things from the rumors. A creature of humanoid form covered in white armor. Blue stripes highlighted the armor sections on the body with blue gauntlets on the arms. Red, orval gems decorated the shoulders and boots. A white mask with large, blue almost bug-like orbs for eyes completed the outfit. An all too familiar belt was wrapped around its waist.

There was no doubt in its mind now. This was the thing from the rumors, the things that sought to destroy IT and its kind. The beings known to them only as Riders.

[/QUOTE]

Riders? In my Nanoha! Lords of Kobol I am going to die from the sheer amount of Awesome today

[arkhangelsk]

Originally Posted by Liingo

It's quite short I know, but I think it's a good place to leave it for now. It could probably be a little longer if I had a bit more description, but I'm happy with the lenght at the moment for it.

Frankly I hate this kind of setup. They leave me going WTF. Mostly I prefer the chronological style of storytelling, not the "Let's do Ep10, then jump back to Ep1" kind of storytelling.

Not your fault though - the writing is OK (my sensitivity only really allows for two reliable grades here, Pass and Fail, so for all I could tell you could have gotten a 80), so tell me when you've written Ch1, and I'll read the two together and probably enjoy it.

[SpaceBrotha]

Originally Posted by arkhangelsk

Frankly I hate this kind of setup. They leave me going WTF. Mostly I prefer the chronological style of storytelling, not the "Let's do Ep10, then jump back to Ep1" kind of storytelling.

Not your fault though - the writing is OK (my sensitivity only really allows for two reliable grades here, Pass and Fail, so for all I could tell you could have gotten a 80), so tell me when you've written Ch1, and I'll read the two together and probably enjoy it.

err... it's more like "let's give a teaser/trailer of things to come and then start the story for real", and not something out of haruhi where someone scrambled the entire timeline...

Personally i find it grasps the audiences/readers attention far better this way, and gives the author leeway for writing some boring parts and explanations without losing focus of the audience right away...

[krisslanza]

I heard something about rape... That again falls into my category. At least in No.47's past anyway... I'll peek at that writing in a bit (Having to catch up on stuff right now) and see what everyone is all saying about "damage". No one seems to react that much to the fact in Arc-en-Ciel the capital city of Mid-Childa is a massive wasteland more or less

[ghazghkull]

wow...I go to bed and this is what I get....the basically a whole new page of confusion...