To Aru ... Fanfiction Discussion Thread

[demino_hellsin]

Again, Meltdowner. That will make for all kinds of awkward >.>

Spoiler for another magic side bad guy:

Name: Lise
Age: unknown
gender: female
Alignment: "Malefic", mage mercenary troop

Description: A short young woman who has dyed blonde hair with some strands still showing the original black color. She wears 3 layers of clothes with the first being a violet and white striped catsuit. Over that is a sky blue dress with chiffon laced shoulders, no sleeves and a matching white sash. Over that is a crimson dress top which is cut diagonally to cover only the right shoulder but the whole of her left torso and a puffy red long sleeve. On her head she wears a small crown and a pair of steam punk styled goggles. On her face she wears distinctive Black stain and deep purple eyeliner. She carries with her a double-edged knife and a chained guillotine blade engraved with the four card suites on each corner.

History: a girl obssessed with the story of Alice in Wonderland. She was born in a family of mages and when she was initiated she had quickly decided to base her magics around it. She is in fact so greatly influenced that her abilities from idol worship are frighteningly more powerful than her peers. She actually believes that the story of Alice is real and strives to find the Wonderland and live there forever more. In order to do that she is aiming to become Alice herself. She is quite insane and regularly has a smile on her face.


Magics:
"Off with her head!": This spell is an enchantment on Lise's guillotine blade. She can easily swing it with her left hand which represents the queen of hearts. As the guillotine was the execution tool of the queen of hearts and its blade followed only her command. Once someone has offended Lise, she can declare their wrong and name then judge them accordingly saying "Off with your head!". Once done, the guillotine can be thrown and it will seek to chop off the head of the person declared.

Card Soldiers: Familiars born of the army of trump cards the queen of hearts commanded. They are just normal cards, but once infused with life they will follow the will of their master. They are typically used to pass messages, scouting as well as a distraction.

Vorpal Sword: the double-edged knife Lise carries symbolizes the Vorpal Blade carried by the knight. It is blessed with the ability to cut through aberrations of the world. It is stronger than a normal blade, capable of even cutting through stone like butter.

Cheshire grin: An ability derived from the Cheshire cat, symbolized by the purple and white suit Lise wears underneath all her clothes. She needs only grin and she can turn invisible or even completely teleport.

Beware the Jabberwock: Lise invokes this monster of unforetold plagues with the distinctive make-up she wears. It is made with various poisons which she has carefully adapted herself to be immune to. She either breathe poison with this spell or become the beast itself.

Through the looking glass: Lise can see the world for its truths when she wears her goggles. She can see leylines, how magic is formed, personal realities/AIM fields, as well as thoughts and feelings. This has similar powers to the Eyes of Alice but is an imperfect copy. She is capable of withstanding the overabundant information due to her own insanity which does not complicate her thought processes with doubts and contradictions between the world she sees and the real world as is.

Shrink/Grow: Unable to complete the replication, this spell tries to recreate the effect of Alice growing and shrinking when she ingests the potions in the story. Instead Lise has gained the power to change her biological age. She normally prefers her 12 year old form as it matches her style of dress very well.

She hunts down the owner of the Eyes of Alice to make them her own.

[MeisterBabylon]

I seriously cannot see any synergy between Meltdowner and Metal Control though. Even their powers are diametric opposites: Tarou builds, Mugi melts.

[demino_hellsin]

But there are so many ways XD

reminded of hardboildr connected with accelgunner. Funny stuff

[MeisterBabylon]

While building up Tarou further, to make him his own 'rider', I analyzed what works and discarded what doesn't. In doing so...

...he ceased to be a Kamen Rider. Wearing nothing but Obsidium, building gadgets and fielding the latest in misappropriated technology, Tainaka is a different kind of hero.

Spoiler for Tarou's real catchphrase!!:

"How dare you, Metal Control!!"

"I'm not Metal Control."

Tainaka lanced a glare at his opponent.

"Ore wa Metal Hero da!"

Toaru Chounouryouku no Tantei Steel (ESP Detective Steel), tadaima SANJOU!!

[demino_hellsin]

Better than janperson...

[MeisterBabylon]

Originally Posted by demino_hellsin

Better than janperson...

janperson?

[demino_hellsin]

*facepalm*

*double facepalm* If you could only see that one freak out scene.

Oh yeah, so does the character I posted have too much magic at her disposal?

[MeisterBabylon]

Originally Posted by demino_hellsin

*facepalm*

*double facepalm* If you could only see that one freak out scene.

Oh yeah, so does the character I posted have too much magic at her disposal?

See? This is why I didn't even REALIZE I made a metal hero. So not familiar with the universe. Even when Tarou's a Child Error, experimented on, extensively modified and got included in an incident in which RSPK was discovered and 199 other Matter Control espers died. And is now fighting to make up for the sin of surviving.

Personally, I thot magic people were just crazy. You'd need to pass it by someone else, but for me she's okay.

[demino_hellsin]

I'll stick to kamen rider. Gavan was cool and all but... yeah. KR still has the better bikes.

Plus the cool thing about W and TAMNI xover is the fact Kamen Rider in W-verse is specifically regarded as a hero, a title given by the people to its champion. God knows AC needs a hero

[MeisterBabylon]

Originally Posted by demino_hellsin

I'll stick to kamen rider. Gavan was cool and all but... yeah. KR still has the better bikes.

Plus the cool thing about W and TAMNI xover is the fact Kamen Rider in W-verse is specifically regarded as a hero, a title given by the people to its champion. God knows AC needs a hero

That was the entire point of my fic.

Nevertheless, Metal Hero and Kamen Rider have merged so much they are really quite similar these days.

And because Tainaka has a bike, is going to get a better one, keep upgrading it, and in return the bike upgrading his armor once the database got advanced enough.

Is he a Metal hero with a cool bike, or a Kamen Rider with an iron mask? It is the duality of the two that makes Tarou Hardboiled. :3

[demino_hellsin]

Well sounds more like kamen rider to me. Metal heroes may be made of metal but they have more attachment to the armor than their vehicle

[MeisterBabylon]

Originally Posted by demino_hellsin

Well sounds more like kamen rider to me. Metal heroes may be made of metal but they have more attachment to the armor than their vehicle

Well, I'll let the fans decide.

Spoiler for All hands, TRANSFORMATION!:

"I got it!"

Tarou stepped out of the smoke, dusty but untouched.

"Tarou-kun!!" Tsubomi cried out in relief.

"Thanks for the help, Bomi," he said softly. "I'll handle the rest."

He stopped holding out a tablet device, strangely reinforced with polished plates and visible rivets.

"I'm sorry, but this device isn't going to level you up."

Daiki sneered. "You're a terrible liar, kid."

"Then, let me tell you something good," Tainaka said as he moved the device slowly within his hand, then glanced back at his opponent. "It's for henshin."

"Henshin?" Tsubomi asked.

"Henshin?" Captain Thresher wondered.

"Henshin?" Said the live-streaming newscasters.

That certain shut-in took a swig out of the Dr Pepper at home. "Du-huhu."

"Henshin?!" Cried the boys in class who were watching the news.

"Heh..." Saten blinked in incredulity.

"Henshin desu!" Uiharu cheered.

Kuroko however wasn't impressed. "What is he talking about masuno?!"

And so was Daiki.

"Henshin?" He said as he leaned forward in a taunt. "What the hell are you going on about?"

"Watch and learn," Tarou said as his expression turned serious. He brought the device down to his waist, screen facing out, and conjured a ring of pure Obsidium around his waist to form a mounting belt. L-clamps slid into place with a clang, locking the phablet into place.

[Driver, on!] It declared as the device powered on into the lock screen. [Swipe now.]

Tarou shifted into a wide stance, with his left hand drawn into a fist by his side and his right arm crossed his chest in a slant, hand half open in a claw position.

"Henshin!"

With a deft sweep, Tainaka drew a line across his body, running over the lock screen, and kept going until his arm was stretched out in a downward angle.

[Steel.] the device reacted. [App Load!]

Black soot erupted from his feet as the device screamed out heavy metal riffs. The metal particulate AIM field swirled as it formed around both Kataru and Tainaka, completely obscuring both of them from view. Daiki took a step back and emptied the M61's drum into the swirling ink, but now the armor-piercing rounds simply disintegrated on the erupting AIM field. Parts of the cloud began to solidify, taking on shapes of boots and sculpted plates. Then, like particles drawn into a black hole, the semi-formed armor flicked inward as the cloud imploded. Loud clangs rang out as each part slammed into place before fully tempering into existance.

When the dust cleared, Kataru put her arms down and turned to Tarou...

...and gaped. So did Daiki; this was something way out of the ordinary, even for Tainaka. For the boy was now covered head to toe in an eldritch black metal, the same one used to make his shields and swords. It was well-sculpted to the form underneath, and bore glowing blow hemmings pulsing with energy flowing out from the ring-like insignia on his chest. Most significantly, Tarou’s head was encased in a black polished helm devoid of any features save a brilliant glowing ring.

Henshin KITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

...across the planet...

...across the stars...

...and back again.

...AAAAAAAA!!

[demino_hellsin]

That was crazy O.o

I found another reference. Kaitou... And he still uses a gun XD

does it indicate her as overpowered if I say that the Church doesn't want to tangle with her because they've made an estimate that they would lose at least a quarter of their forces to kill her?

Name: Doti
Age: 42
Gender: female
Alignment: "Malefic" mage mercenary troop,

Description: wears a white dress with a red sash and a white cardiggan over them. An eyepatch covers her right eye while her left eye resembles fake glass like a doll. On her feet are a curious pair of slippers colored silver. In battle she uses an axe and a sword. For accessories she keeps a silver whistle around her neck. Looks 14.

History: Doti is a witch. She is well known within circles of magic as the predator witch. The reason for this is her active hunting of witches despite being a witch herself. Shes kills them to consume their magic as well as their life. This increases her power and allows her to retain her youth. It is easy for her to kill, as she treats the existence of everyone as merely a tool or material for prolonging her life or entertaining her.

Born a witch in a secluded town of America, she grew up in a closed society raised by a witch mother but no father. She was taught all outsiders were of evil descent. But she witnessed her own people perform unspeakable acts of cruelty. She eventually began to take on their personalities. They would kill animals and even people, take their innards, use them for their magics and ceremonies. She was instilled with the ideals that humans were less than witches and witches could do as they pleased with people as one would with cattle to increase their power. This combined with being the strongest in their coven, Doti wondered what would happen if she used witches as her own material? That same night, she killed everyone including her own bloodmother. she continued her witch hunts and suffered many losses for every gain she obtained, her eyes, her feet, her heart. Her hunts eventually brought her to Lise in whom she found an equal, someone who was more than just material for herself. Thus she was brought into the Malefic fold.

Magics:
overlooking eye: this spell is affected to Doti's left eye. It's glass and enchanted to act as Doti's left and only functional eye. It affords her vision with greater clarity than 20:20 vision. Her vision extends to kilometers in its scope and focus. Her range extending to 20-30. There is no problem in removing this eye and leaving it with another person or elsehwere.

eye of oblivion: the covered right eye is actually a mouth. It's filled with fanged teeth that seals it shut. When open it will seek out all living things in the area. It's function is to consume souls and magic. It is a power demonic in nature even capable of harming those existing beyond the boundaries of humanity.

placebo craft: Doti is innately skilled in forging idols, fetishes and magic tools. She can even enchant objects which look nothing like to original to even fool adepts at appraising the supposed product of their craft.

false heart: Doti's heart is a fake of her own design. It is nothing special but it does not tire. If she ever becomes winded it's due to her lungs and muscles which are still flesh.

enchanted slippers: the silver slippers were Doti's first attempt at idol craft. She succeeded in a partial recreation of the silver shoes of the tale the Wonderful World of Oz. It retains the original spells of the silver shoes, granting the ability to travel anywhere in three paces. However it grants more abilities like increased speed and leg strength and the ability to walk on any space of any state. It was eventually cursed by one witch that Doti killed so it will turn red hot and burn whoever touches it. After losing her feet once and replacing them. Doti re-enchanted the shoes to take advantage of the curse instead.

silver whistle: a whistle which temporarily calls animals into Doti's service. They act similarly as familiars would.

tin arms: the axe and sword Doti wields are both cursed, always seeking blood. They will swing in the most effective way to rend as much flesh as they can, even if it means striking the wielder themselves. Doti has tamed them and uses them due to their bloodthirstiness.

[agetreme]

Deliberately over-powered. Serving as "Accelerator" in the story.

Spoiler for Missing Level 5:

Tokioka Tokimi
Ability: Level 4 Teleporter

Standing at the top of Sora Toki's girl's school due to being a level 4. As the "stray child" of the school, she is seldom seen around. Some say she join some Esper gang, others said that she is actually dead but the school attempt to cover it up.

Personality: Somewhat bipolar and may have some form of mental illness, one moment she could be bored, the next: axe-crazy.

A motor-mouth who can't seems to keep her mouth shut once she started talking. It would be nice if she make sense but whatever come out of her mouth will leave no doubt that this girl is a complete nutcase.

Spoiler for DELETED:

Level 5 Temporal Alteration
To put it simply: Time Space Manipulation power.

In another word: Strongest Teleporter.

According to Akashic Archive, all her record has been altered and falsified which is why nobody remember the true level of her ability. (Not to mention: She has the ability to alter her past)

Although she can't travel back beyond the time she first obtain her power but what she can do is virtually limitless.... Her (estimated) 192 years of experience in using her power isn't for nothing.

As a hint of her "brand of insanity" common in all Sora Toki's students: She placed lots of soft limits when it came to fighting others even if there is no reason to do so.

Her justification: She don't like to show off all the cards in her hand and she prefer play fair.

-

It is never a good idea to break somebody who is already psychologically unsound and has the ability to control time. Unless you are dumb enough to flip her switch.

Why?

Her darker and cruel side is a combination of Fate/Zero's Caster and Beatrice Eva. She will give you false hope and keep crushing that hope over and over again.

She won't reset the timeline until she have her fill... which would probably take a few 100 minutes if you are lucky and 100 years if you are not.

The experience is bad enough that one will remain traumatized even after time has been reset.

=

Once a bright young girl full of hope and dream, she lose all her family overnight due to an "accident" orchestrated by one of the Academy City's Higher-Up to "provide extra motivation".

When she found out..... not happy is an understatement.

She cursed her fate and swore to become powerful enough to rewrite the past.

As for the man who order the death of her family.... let just say that he was demoted from Academy City's Higher Up to Jinma's Test Subject.

=

About her being crazy.... Try spending 10,000 weeks trying and successfully killing yourself.

Unfortunately, things doesn't work out for her. Something is missing from the equation that allows her to surpass Level 5 to obtain level 6.

But Tokimi is a very determined person..... If 10000 weeks fighting against 10000 level 5 (herself) doesn't work, she just has to keep aiming higher and higher....

[demino_hellsin]

...thanks age... Hehehe

[Dyingbreath]

Originally Posted by agetreme

Deliberately over-powered. Serving as "Accelerator" in the story.

Spoiler for Missing Level 5:

Tokioka Tokimi
Ability: Level 4 Teleporter

Standing at the top of Sora Toki's girl's school due to being a level 4. As the "stray child" of the school, she is seldom seen around. Some say she join some Esper gang, others said that she is actually dead but the school attempt to cover it up.

Personality: Somewhat bipolar and may have some form of mental illness, one moment she could be bored, the next: axe-crazy.

A motor-mouth who can't seems to keep her mouth shut once she started talking. It would be nice if she make sense but whatever come out of her mouth will leave no doubt that this girl is a complete nutcase.

Spoiler for DELETED:

Level 5 Temporal Alteration
To put it simply: Time Space Manipulation power.

In another word: Strongest Teleporter.

According to Akashic Archive, all her record has been altered and falsified which is why nobody remember the true level of her ability. (Not to mention: She has the ability to alter her past)

Although she can't travel back beyond the time she first obtain her power but what she can do is virtually limitless.... Her (estimated) 192 years of experience in using her power isn't for nothing.

As a hint of her "brand of insanity" common in all Sora Toki's students: She placed lots of soft limits when it came to fighting others even if there is no reason to do so.

Her justification: She don't like to show off all the cards in her hand and she prefer play fair.

-

It is never a good idea to break somebody who is already psychologically unsound and has the ability to control time. Unless you are dumb enough to flip her switch.

Why?

Her darker and cruel side is a combination of Fate/Zero's Caster and Beatrice Eva. She will give you false hope and keep crushing that hope over and over again.

She won't reset the timeline until she have her fill... which would probably take a few 100 minutes if you are lucky and 100 years if you are not.

The experience is bad enough that one will remain traumatized even after time has been reset.

=

Once a bright young girl full of hope and dream, she lose all her family overnight due to an "accident" orchestrated by one of the Academy City's Higher-Up to "provide extra motivation".

When she found out..... not happy is an understatement.

She cursed her fate and swore to become powerful enough to rewrite the past.

As for the man who order the death of her family.... let just say that he was demoted from Academy City's Higher Up to Jinma's Test Subject.

=

About her being crazy.... Try spending 10,000 weeks trying and successfully killing yourself.

Unfortunately, things doesn't work out for her. Something is missing from the equation that allows her to surpass Level 5 to obtain level 6.

But Tokimi is a very determined person..... If 10000 weeks fighting against 10000 level 5 (herself) doesn't work, she just has to keep aiming higher and higher....

The idea is creative but it's a bit hard to conceive of. Are you going for a "butterfly effect" kind of power where she can change her own action? And then you'd need to take care to address any changes it causes in the story.
Speaking of the story... you talk about it a lot on here, how far along in the story are you? What's it called?

Originally Posted by demino_hellsin

false heart: Doti's heart is a fake of her own design. It is nothing special but it does not tire. If she ever becomes winded it's due to her lungs and muscles which are still flesh.
.

Normal hearts don't tire either, they are made of a special kind of tissue that can perform constantly without caving into the stress.

[demino_hellsin]

So being able to take out a quarter of anglican church while dying isn't considered OP?

[Dyingbreath]

Originally Posted by demino_hellsin

So being able to take out a quarter of anglican church while dying isn't considered OP?

Nope, it's called a minigun. (that is assuming they are all in one group and you only count the magicians rather than all the members, otherwise you'd need something bigger like this: http://www.popularmechanics.com/tech...litary/1281426 )
In the words of a wise russian man: "I have yet to meet man who can outsmart bullet"

[demino_hellsin]

well she does it with an axe and sword

Doti and Lise are partners in Malefic which takes contract work from Necessarius and anyone willing to pay the needed amount, which isn't really much. To speak they are cheap but very effective in what they do.

Does it fit well into the canonverse that instead of power levels, power/ability types decide who wins? well not really decide but there are decidedly good match-ups and bad ones?

[Dyingbreath]

Originally Posted by demino_hellsin

well she does it with an axe and sword

Doti and Lise are partners in Malefic which takes contract work from Necessarius and anyone willing to pay the needed amount, which isn't really much. To speak they are cheap but very effective in what they do.

Does it fit well into the canonverse that instead of power levels, power/ability types decide who wins? well not really decide but there are decidedly good match-ups and bad ones?

Well I suppose it isn't that over-powered if you don't go into detail and stress that it was just the flunkies... but then again this is coming from someone who's planning on having a character effectively knock out the entire ROC and another who tears Othinus into several trillion pieces.