Do you believe in love at first sight?

[Nobodyman9]

Q: Would you believe in a love at first sight?
A: Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time.

[Lost Cause]

I believe it can happen. If the energy (for lack of a better word) between two people is so strong that being away from him/her makes you crazy, then yes it can happen.
But in this new age of questioning everything and ignoring what's right in front of us "Love at first sight" is indeed dying! Sometimes going in "blind" can be good, but these days it pays to be careful and ask questions. In some ways it's a shame!

[Chrisjon]

I just don't see how something so fairytale-ish could happen in today's world. It's just not possible.

[Neat Hedgehog]

Well, since technically love is just a proper combination of chemical releases / productions / etc, it is possible to fall in love with anything at any time. If you had a mind to, you could probably make yourself fall in love with a pickle. It doesn't have anything to do with "today's world" or anything like that, and it's not any "cheaper" or "trivial" than any other "form" of love (not that there really are any different "forms" but people like to say there are).

[justinstrife]

No. Unless your definition of love is lust. In which case, yes.

Love has been so over-used by people, that it's lost much of it's meaning...

[Lio]

What do you mean by Love?

I have a feeling that everyone here has a different idea of what Love means to them.

Originally Posted by Kaijo

What's 1 or 2 years, when you'll be together for 40+ if it all works out? =)

Not everyone's into the 40+ years lifestyle that you're into.

Besides, an unforgettable 1 or 2 years with somebody so special that you'll remember them for the rest of your life - that's not half bad.

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by Lio

Not everyone's into the 40+ years lifestyle that you're into.

Besides, an unforgettable 1 or 2 years with somebody so special that you'll remember them for the rest of your life - that's not half bad.

Perhaps; it's up to each person's tastes, and I've definitely known some women that I made memories with, that I'll carry with me awhile. However, I do wish things had continued as normal with them, and possibly continues making memories together.

I suppose part of my viewpoint comes from my parents, who have been married nearly 40 years now, still together, and still having fun and getting along. The group of adults they do things with also have similar marriages, so it's not a rare thing, just a way of adjusting your mindset to make the conscious choice to be with someone, regardless of their flaws.

And I realized if that's what I wanted, then I'd have to learn to accept the flaws of everyone else. Unless I did so, I'd end a hypocrite not liking people because they were "difficult" or "annoying" or "made me uncomfortable." So that's what I mean by love (any kind of love, really); true unconditional love, instead of conditional love that I break the moment it moves slightly in a different direction that I don't not sure about, heh. And that's something you can't tell from that first meeting; it takes time.

[mindovermatter]

I think there is a lot of truth to what your saying Kaijo. Love usually grows, and it's something that you learn even with the other persons flaws.
personally, I think that is one of the big things that is breaking up marriages now days: People who have dated for several months or years, and then get married thinking they know everything about the other person...but you can never really know a person until your married, so people have expectations that are grounded with no room for mutual growth and understanding. Again, that's my personal view and I'm well aware that most people see things very differently from me in this case

[Kittenlady]

While it would take some pretty special circumstances, I don't think it's impossible to very quickly become intensely emotionally attached to someone. While you can argue that they'd only be in love with their perceived idea of that person rather than actually knowing them, I think it could still count as love.

Differentiating between love and obsession can be awfully difficult sometimes~

[synaesthetic]

Originally Posted by Neat Hedgehog

Well, since technically love is just a proper combination of chemical releases / productions / etc, it is possible to fall in love with anything at any time. If you had a mind to, you could probably make yourself fall in love with a pickle. It doesn't have anything to do with "today's world" or anything like that, and it's not any "cheaper" or "trivial" than any other "form" of love (not that there really are any different "forms" but people like to say there are).

This is the correct answer.

Love is just the result of certain brain chemicals being released in the right sequences. There's nothing mystical, magical or spiritual about it. It's simply a reaction to certain stimuli, just like any other emotion. We know this, yet because it feels good, we still indulge in it.

Perhaps we're addicted?

I'm not saying it's a bad thing.

Love at first sight is possible for some people, and not possible for others. Different people are different. Some people are not capable of loving at all. Others have such a capacity for love it gets them into trouble. Most of us lie somewhere in the middle.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Lio

Besides, an unforgettable 1 or 2 years with somebody so special that you'll remember them for the rest of your life - that's not half bad.

I both agree and disagree with this, to be honest. On one hand, it's definitely nice to be with somebody that you'll never forget for the rest of your life, but at the same time I have to admit I'm rather selfish. At some point I'd also like to find someone to spend my life with and share memories with.

[Reckoner]

I barely believe in love like an earlier poster said... Most people never reach it, so I find it hard to believe that people would find it instantly, and if they do, what a rare exception indeed.

[Last Sinner]

Well there's some factors that need to be taken into consideration.

1. What is love?

There are six types of love that are generally recognised:

(a) Eros is romantic, passionate, love—what Tennov labeled limerence. In this type of relationship, love is life's most important thing. Lee said a search for physical beauty or an ideal type also typifies this type of love.

(b) Ludus is a game-playing or uncommitted love. Lying is part of the game. A person who pursues ludic love may have many conquests but remains uncommitted.

(c) Storge is a slow developing, friendship-based loved. People with this type of relationship like to participate in activities together. Often storge results in a long-term relationship in which sex might not be very intense or passionate.

(d) Pragma is a pragmatic, practical, mutually beneficial relationship. It may be somewhat unromantic. A person who leans toward this type of relationship may look for a partner at work or where the person is spending time. Sex is likely to be seen as a technical matter needed for producing children, if they are desired.

(e) Mania is an obsessive or possessive love, jealous and extreme. A person in love this way is likely to do something crazy or silly, such as stalking. The movie Fatal Attraction was about this type.

(f) Agape is a gentle, caring, giving type of love, brotherly love, not concerned with the self. It is relatively rare. Mother Theresa showed this kind of love for impoverished people.

Hendrick, Hendrick, Slapion-Foote, and Foote (1985) found that men were more likely to show the ludic type of love, while women were more likely to be storgic or pragmatic.

Studies of couples happily married for over 30 years showed that couples who rated their marriages as highly satisfactory described their relationship in terms which resembled erotic love more than the other five types. This might be surprising; in view of the earlier-mentioned finding that limerence type relationships tend to flare out quickly among college students. However, it might be the case that long-term relationships that contain both friendship and a passionate spark are more likely to endure and provide satisfaction to both parties than relationships that are low-key and pragmatic.

In a classroom poll, conducted in two American introductory psychology classes of over 250 students each, the first five types were all familiar to over 80% of the students from their personal experience (their own relationships or people they knew). However, less than 10% of students knew somebody who expressed agape.


2. What type of love is it that falls under what the OP described?

Love at first sight is going to be based mainly on impulse, physical features and non-rational feelings. So that type of love would be a mix of Mania and Eros.


3. What type of love do YOU want?

That is the really important point. In regards to the OP, if you feel a mix of Mania and Eros, you're probably feeling love at first sight. If you're not, then it isn't that.

Personally, my ideal form of love that I am seeking is around a mix of 70% Storge and 30% Eros. I do place a value on love but it isn't the be all and end all for me - I'm fine without it at the moment but I would like to be with a nice woman for a good portion of my remaining lifetime. I don't easily trust people and I'm very wary with my heart and the like. Once I know I could trust a woman and know what kind of person she is, there's a good chance I could love her. I haven't found someone like that yet, but I've still got time.


There's no tru;y 'correct' answer to this. I am a scientist but I don't like to define the world and universe in purely molecular, rigid terms. I do think there are elements to it all, especially love, that science can't explain. Love isn't supposed to be purely rational - therefore it can't be explained in scientific means alone. There needs to be a magic and mystery to it, otherwise life would be very boring. And there is no 'one fits all' way to describe what love is. It is different for different people. The important thing is to value the person you love; to treat them, yourself and anyone else involved with respect and trust; to be able to provide a good life for them; to make them and yourself happy.

[Phillip Lober]

No, love at first sight is a stupid concept for people who have not accepted reality yet. It is an absolutely absurd way of looking at things and always leads to misconception. If you think you are in love with someone at first sight, it obviously means you judge PURELY on looks before analyzing, which is a very damaging quality. True love comes from equality and motivation. Love is hard to define as most viewpoints on the subject arouse from how a person was raised or taught.

For instance, personally, I would fall in love with someone who: hates Anime dialougue, comes up with a new joke every time we talk, looks decent (gotta brag about her to my friends ), loves the movie District 9, speaks another language, composes music or is musically inclined, wants to watch the show Community on the couch with a bag of chips, and is quite perverted and philosophical at the same time.

The above "dating applicant" (haha) just goes to show that love comes from equal interests. If you like someone for their looks, that is a one-sided interest.

Also, Last Sinner....girls keep it in the underwear drawer?

[synaesthetic]

It depends on the person. Some people quite literally can fall in love at first sight--complete with all the brain activity and hormonal levels present in someone who fell in love after a lengthy courtship.

In fact, it doesn't even have to be a person. I read a news article a while back about a woman with a mental disorder that causes her to fall in love with inanimate objects.

Love is not nearly as mystical and magical as we make it out to be. Just a bunch of brain chemicals churning in our thinkboxes.

[Ballad]

I do believe in, I don't suppose I have any particular reason for doing so. I just do.

[Phillip Lober]

Originally Posted by synaesthetic

Love is not nearly as mystical and magical as we make it out to be. Just a bunch of brain chemicals churning in our thinkboxes.

Yep! I agree with this. (I have to get 10 characters in the message)

We just think it's magical because it feels magical

[Last Sinner]

That is so leading to a love vs infatuation debate.

[oompa loompa]

Good gracious, I certainly hope not.

[Suomi]

I'm inclined to go with the "love is a verb" idea.
I think that you can be in lust at first sight but not love. Love is something that develops over time.
I won't slap a timeline on it, like "it has to be at least a year", but I do believe in this:
, say you meet someone, and learn some about them, even if you don't know them incredibly well/haven't been around them often, but enough to draw your own opinions/conclusions. I believe it would be possible to have a sort of sense...that you are going to (or want to) spend a long time with this person; or to realize that you care about them already, and would never want anything to happen to them, and such.

I was told a story once of the closest thing I can imagine to love at first sight (I don't want it to be torn apart and argued over, plus it's not really mine to tell, so I won't specifically tell it) between two people...maybe not at very first sight before even talking to them, but after meeting them and getting to know them, and spending time with them...even in a night.

I believe that "love at first sight" doesn't necessarily have to mean at first sight as in before you meet them, just as soon as you see them with your eyes. It can mean in a very short amount of time, or after knowing someone even just a little, yet feeling like you've known them for years. It can refer to something like that.

But do I believe in love at FIRST SIGHT taken literally? no.