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Old 2012-02-01, 09:19   Link #20441
Eratas123
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Just focus more on the gospel and asking on how to grip the reader. If you can't, tell me and I'll make one for you.

@ Senpai - Could you please do me a favor? If you can, please go to fanfic.net and see if you can access chapter 4 of Future Imperfect. I need to know if it's just me.
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Old 2012-02-01, 09:23   Link #20442
demino_hellsin
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Hmm Ima do homework for now
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Old 2012-02-01, 09:31   Link #20443
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@ Demi - Reply when you need help. I'm just waiting for Senpai's reply.
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Old 2012-02-01, 09:32   Link #20444
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Noope, not yet.
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Old 2012-02-01, 09:34   Link #20445
Eratas123
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You mean you can't see chapter 4?
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Old 2012-02-01, 09:43   Link #20446
ZeroXSEED
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O.O I can access it.
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Old 2012-02-01, 09:46   Link #20447
Eratas123
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You can!? Alright, then I can stop worrying I even got a PM that someone couldn't access it.

Side note - When will you finish TLR Stratos Chapter 1?
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Old 2012-02-01, 09:51   Link #20448
ZeroXSEED
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Still experimenting, I already cement the relationship between Laura and Rito, next would be Tatenashi and Saki.
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Old 2012-02-01, 09:54   Link #20449
Eratas123
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Remember: Don't let your biases affect how you write. I'm struggling to portray Tabane in a good light no matter how much I wanna strangle her in real life.

Side note - By the way, why did you choose an Eldritch as the antagonist?
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Old 2012-02-01, 09:56   Link #20450
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I feel it's esy to grip the reader but somehow I don't want it to sound too... overbearing? I feel that with most summaries
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Old 2012-02-01, 10:00   Link #20451
Eratas123
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@ Demi - On the other hand, it's pretty hard to get what's going on with a summary like the one you posted. Can you tell it's about the Silver Gospel? Not really. I made this mistake with Shadow as well.
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Old 2012-02-01, 10:02   Link #20452
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Something to distract the TLR side of the business from interfering with PT related business.

In fact, the ONLY reason humanity survive so far is I.S. related technology. There's actually three different portrayal depending on WHEN the Eldritch arrive.

- 1969: Humanity vanish.
- 1999: About 6 billions dead, the rest is able to struggle
- 2009: Random attacks that causes relative few (as in, hundreds to thousand) death and collateral damage :|
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Old 2012-02-01, 10:08   Link #20453
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Humanity does better against the Elditch's as technology marches on. Eternal Darkness also shows this since most of the characters from the 1900's survive and live to old age.
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Old 2012-02-01, 10:28   Link #20454
agetreme
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Since I decide to make Forbidden Core a Crack fic.....

Wiener Driver.... A machine that can only pilot by male. It is two times larger than IS and all its weapon is two time longer and larger.

Its creator really love his Vienna sausage.

---

Now Serious stuff for the dark fic

Title of the story: IS: Extreme Shift, Fubuki.

Fubuki is a Extreme Shift (Guess whose IS).

Extreme Shift (Limit Break):
Spoiler for Extreme Shift:


Edit:

Question: What will happen if I add one more love interest into Ichika's harem? One without Yandere or tsundere tendency?
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Old 2012-02-01, 10:31   Link #20455
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You gave us the tech details, but what about the story?

@ Senpai - Alright, starting Shadow next chapter tom Does rain have any effect on an IS?
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Old 2012-02-01, 10:37   Link #20456
ZeroXSEED
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When the I.S. flying at supersonic speed, likely. Not dangerous, but heavily distracting and disturbing balance somewhat.
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Old 2012-02-01, 10:43   Link #20457
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Would the shield keep them from the persons face? Also, if a building's burning, would the rain dampen the fires?
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Old 2012-02-01, 10:54   Link #20458
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I don't know to be honest, but highly probable considering Houki and Rin spend minutes underwater and doesn't described/look wet.

Certain fires, such as caused by oil flood, will got worse if there's rain, even worse if the wind is strong. Most fire however indeed subdued, especially if it's windless, heavy rain.
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Old 2012-02-01, 10:54   Link #20459
agetreme
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Spoiler for Story:
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Old 2012-02-01, 10:58   Link #20460
Eratas123
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Alright, that solves Ichika's problem. Does the only thing the shield of the IS protect the wearer itself? Can it be used to defend attacks for other people by using yourself as a human shield?

How strong does the rain have to be? It starts lightly drizzling at the start of the chapter till it gets to the point that it's near storming by the end of the arc. This is also part of an empathic environment since the time is night time and the lightning helps them see one another during the fight.

@ Treme - That's the things you plan to add, but what's the overall plot? Throwing more enemies at the main cast isn't a plot.
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