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Old 2011-10-03, 22:28   Link #2161
blitz1/2
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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
It seems fine to me, they're reaction might seem a bit overboard to some but considering what they went through then I can let that go. Why were they in IS academy anyway? Actually let me rephrase that question; Why were they there and NOT shooting it to high heaven? They seem really eager on doing it in the early chapters.

Side note- Do you want me to beta for you? I'd like to help if you do
The problem is that I don't know where Zero is. He's not on the forum, neither is he on the Fanfiction PM thing, but I did send him a document, if he was not done with the fight scene with the thugs, I basically wrote it for him.
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Old 2011-10-03, 22:37   Link #2162
Eratas123
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The problem is that I don't know where Zero is. He's not on the forum, neither is he on the Fanfiction PM thing, but I did send him a document, if he was not done with the fight scene with the thugs, I basically wrote it for him.
He's probably busy with college or something, he still logs on at abput 6 pm from where I am.
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Old 2011-10-03, 22:53   Link #2163
DarkJak2050
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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
It seems fine to me, they're reaction might seem a bit overboard to some but considering what they went through then I can let that go. Why were they in IS academy anyway? Actually let me rephrase that question; Why were they there and NOT shooting it to high heaven? They seem really eager on doing it in the early chapters.

Side note- Do you want me to beta for you? I'd like to help if you do
To be honest, that scene is something that I just made up. If they were going to IS Academy, it would be a lot further into Project Silverback. And you'll find out why they're at IS Academy as the story goes on. But that's if things go right for Alpha Squad.
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Old 2011-10-03, 23:06   Link #2164
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To be honest, that scene is something that I just made up. If they were going to IS Academy, it would be a lot further into Project Silverback. And you'll find out why they're at IS Academy as the story goes on. But that's if things go right for Alpha Squad.
Does this mean that you have no plans of stopping? We barely have any fics in the archive so if you stop then it's gonna get even fewer.
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Old 2011-10-03, 23:32   Link #2165
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Zero here reporting, Sir!

Chapter 9 is about 80%, ETC (Estimated Time of Completion) is in 3-6 hours, today there's some convenient meeting between mentors in my Campus and I went home early as result. And now I'm going Trans Am.

Because my Brother took the modem I had, I had to rely on internet cafe, sorry for the late update.
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Old 2011-10-03, 23:38   Link #2166
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Zero here reporting, Sir!

Chapter 9 is about 80%, ETC (Estimated Time of Completion) is in 3-6 hours, today there's some convenient meeting between mentors in my Campus and I went home early as result. And now I'm going Trans Am.

Because my Brother took the modem I had, I had to rely on internet cafe, sorry for the late update.
Damn you update fast! I'm still in the intro of chapter 4 I'm stuck on deciding on how Ichika will save Cecilia Do you have any ideas?
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Old 2011-10-03, 23:47   Link #2167
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Damn you update fast! I'm still in the intro of chapter 4 I'm stuck on deciding on how Ichika will save Cecilia Do you have any ideas?
@Eratas:
I'm just going to read the chapter 3 now, see if I can help with chapter 4 later.

@Blitz:
The fight scene is for Chapter 10 during Gotanda arc. I've read it and it was damn good.

EDIT: @ Eratas I mean the chapter 4 prologue several pages back, sorry.
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Old 2011-10-04, 00:05   Link #2168
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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
@MeisterBabylon- I imagined that Irish was already on the floor by the time of the Speech but she was distracted by talking so he managed to sneak throw a grenade.
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@I know the IS itself is nigh invulnerable bit the pilot itself isn't. The point of Irish's fighting style is sneaking around and weakening the shield long enough for the pilot to be exposed. Since the IS has no armor on the pilots body then it would be possible to shoot them directly. Notice I said that he threw a chaff grenade rather than a regular one, I know the IS shield is trong but I doubt it's unlimited, a continued barrage by jammers should be enough to at least weaken it.
I'm having a hard time trying to imagine what could lead to this and therefore this setup? Though there's also problem of situational awareness, why wouldn't Karon just throw the grenade back, and then why would Karon in an IS be attacking Irish and Kyuukai, who don't have these weapons?

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@Btw- I can buy someone seeing the potential of the space suit and reverse engineering it early, It's one of the reasons the war started in the first place. Phantom Task existed even befre the events of infinite stratos and they seem smart enough to see the potential and reverse engineer a space suit that can be used only by women.
I see... Though you know what I think? Tabane. She made the Metropolis, she made the latest generation of Schwarzehase. And she's now supplying Phantom Task with cores that she made on the sly. Because once everyone has IS, not only will the chance of finding ISpers increase, once everyone has IS the Alaska Treaty falls apart and she'd be free to do whatever she wants. Even now, as she's running around giving out IS cores in shadowy ways, be it Phantom Task or the Organizations, people are worshipping her more and more...

It would even further her plans to have started your shadow war as well. Because when you create an antagonist to IS development, you instigate an arms race and hence more progress in IS development.

In the mean time, she has Three Diagram and Shooting Star running around cleaning up spills and program offshoots as a result of her actions (though they too don't know the full picture).

Yes, I believe that the real Tabane is a psychopath, but she's so smart she's gonna get away with it...

...until her pawns turn on her that is. And even then, are things still going according to her plan? Did she do all this, and eventually implicate herself, just so that IS can be found everywhere and her forever remembered as a god?

Scary thought, isn't it?
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Old 2011-10-04, 00:30   Link #2169
ZeroXSEED
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Yes, I believe that the real Tabane is a psychopath, but she's so smart she's gonna get away with it...

...until her pawns turn on her that is. And even then, are things still going according to her plan? Did she do all this, and eventually implicate herself, just so that IS can be found everywhere and her forever remembered as a god?

Scary thought, isn't it?
I have this feeling that this is really Canon.
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Old 2011-10-04, 00:33   Link #2170
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@MeisterBabylon- It's more of a case of Irish attacking her rather than the other way around. Most likely I'll have him be tricked by someone into thinking she read his mind and is planning to spread his secret so he rashly chooses to attack her. He is a former terrorist so he exhibits symptoms of paranoia and agression. She's not attacking Kyuukai, just a paranoid Irish. I'd Imagine Karon would use the suit and non-lethally try to take down Irish. By the way, Chaff grenades explode on contact so they can't be thrown back

I also planned to use Tabane as the main antagonist in the early draft, I can't now because I've already included Kyuukai Tokiwa as a main protagonist and having his mother figure turn into the big bad will look like a really dick move. I do plan to have Irish and him butt heads on this since he hates Tabane for building the Infinite Stratos while Kyuukai defends her by saying she was trying to help the world get better and is trying to make up for it. Basically it's an Idealism (Kyuukai) Vs Cynicism (Irish) arguement. Just because they're the three protags doesn't mean they have to be buddies.

@Zero- Any Idea's so far Zero?

Last edited by Eratas123; 2011-10-04 at 03:10.
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Old 2011-10-04, 01:43   Link #2171
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Please, no content from the IS Light Novels on this thread. As far as Vol. 5-7 goes.

Now, for another question. How did I do on Ratchet's Personality and Traits?

It kinda feels like that I'm actually putting more work into his than the others.

Here's a part from Ch. 2 of Project Silverback as an example.

Spoiler for Ratchet's Personality/Traits:


I'd appreciate everyone's thoughts on this. Remember, Ratchet's suppose to be the Negative/Sarcastic and, sometimes, unkind type. But he does have a caring side to those who are close to him.
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Old 2011-10-04, 01:53   Link #2172
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Please, no content from the IS Light Novels on this thread. As far as Vol. 5-7 goes.
Rhetorical question, but....

Why?
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Old 2011-10-04, 01:55   Link #2173
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Rhetorical question, but....

Why?
I haven't read them yet...
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Old 2011-10-04, 02:00   Link #2174
Eratas123
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Originally Posted by DarkJak2050 View Post
Please, no content from the IS Light Novels on this thread. As far as Vol. 5-7 goes.

Now, for another question. How did I do on Ratchet's Personality and Traits?

It kinda feels like that I'm actually putting more work into his than the others.

Here's a part from Ch. 2 of Project Silverback as an example.

Spoiler for Ratchet's Personality/Traits:


I'd appreciate everyone's thoughts on this. Remember, Ratchet's suppose to be the Negative/Sarcastic and, sometimes, unkind type. But he does have a caring side to those who are close to him.
Ratchet seems a bit too emotional to be the negative/sarcastic type I was expecting something more like this.

Clay: Ratchet is that you.

Ratchet: No it's the easter bunny, who do you think it is?

Or something like.

Clay: Hey, look at those girls playing.

Ratchet: Oh great, first the closet and now an arcade game. Are they stalking memor something?

Hot shot seems more sarcastic than he does truth be told, Ratchet always seems to yell out or be emotional when he says things rather than be negative/sarcastic about it.
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Old 2011-10-04, 02:08   Link #2175
DarkJak2050
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Originally Posted by Eratas123 View Post
Ratchet seems a bit too emotional to be the negative/sarcastic type I was expecting something more like this.

Clay: Ratchet is that you.

Ratchet: No it's the easter bunny, who do you think it is?

Or something like.

Clay: Hey, look at those girls playing.

Ratchet: Oh great, first the closet and now an arcade game. Are they stalking memor something?

Hot shot seems more sarcastic than he does truth be told, Ratchet always seems to yell out or be emotional when he says things rather than be negative/sarcastic about it.
Hmm, maybe I chose the wrong part for an example...
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Old 2011-10-04, 04:29   Link #2176
Eratas123
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*Reading Infinite Stratos wiki about IS academy* "IS academy has a very high security system due to the fact that every potential pilot is valuable, it's therefore very hard to enter and is equipped to defend itself from outside attack. *Remembers the two golem attacks, the attack during cannonball fast, the Valkyrie trace incident and the attack by Arachne* Right~ IS Academy sounds like they're doing a great job with their security.
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Old 2011-10-04, 04:50   Link #2177
wavehawk
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Help me a bit here. I wrote this part to start off the second part of my fic with <Ren> (Yes, I still have no title because I'll be reworking it before it goes to FF.net!), but I'm not sure if this will be accepted by the readers or if it'll tick them off. My probalem is trying to write <Ren> into the story without adversely affectign what's going to happen in Chapter 5 or the LN, and I need honest reviews:

Just fyi this is very alpha first draft and I need to rewrite it when I can, but I need opinions and fast. Am I pulling Tatenashi in a bit too early? And since I've not read enough of Vol.5 I don't know if I'm portrayign her wrongly...
Spoiler:
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Old 2011-10-04, 05:00   Link #2178
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Tatenashi's Character seems good enough by itself, it still seems odd that she's intentionally harassing <Ren> over something that obviously seems personal to her. She seems more of the type to innocently tease people but stop when it goes too far.

The canon events didn't really change much which is good since this is what you're aiming for <Ren> being genre savvy enough to not get involved since it was Laura and Charlotte in the cafe made me laugh too. Good luck!
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Old 2011-10-04, 05:12   Link #2179
wavehawk
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Tatenashi's Character seems good enough by itself, it still seems odd that she's intentionally harassing <Ren> over something that obviously seems personal to her. She seems more of the type to innocently tease people but stop when it goes too far.
- That's actualy what bugs me. On the one hand I have in mind a set-up for an interestign conversation between <Ren> and Tatenashi (which will foreshadow in the final 3rd chapter), but on the other hand, I keep thinkign: Am I making too much of Tatenashi's character?

I'm seriously tempted to just remove that part altogether since it might end up coflicting with what happens in the LNs if it goes the wrong way.
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Old 2011-10-04, 05:20   Link #2180
Eratas123
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- That's actualy what bugs me. On the one hand I have in mind a set-up for an interestign conversation between <Ren> and Tatenashi (which will foreshadow in the final 3rd chapter), but on the other hand, I keep thinkign: Am I making too much of Tatenashi's character?

I'm seriously tempted to just remove that part altogether since it might end up coflicting with what happens in the LNs if it goes the wrong way.
You don't have to worry about making it too similar to canon, this is FANFICTION we're making here so it's not really that odd for changes in canon to happen. As long as you don't derail the characters then it should be fine.

For example: In my fanfic almost everyone tends to act the same except I changed their reason for acting that way; Houki still hates her sister but this time it's due to the deaths caused by the Infinite Stratos, Rin is still a clingy jealous girl but it's due to her family problems, Tatenashi still acts the same but that's because she can't seem to see the consequences of her actions. They still act the same but I provide my own reasoning for them doing so.

All in all just remember that these are fan stories that we're writing and not novelizations with our OC's included. Adding your own personal touch to it is what makes it fun
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